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Lazy WWE: Version 3.0


Chris2K
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We have hired 8 writers to change the WWE around, 4 for Raw, run by me, Chris2K and 4 for Smackdown, run by Essa. It's our job to make sure they do the writing. It's their job to write the shows that you will enjoy reading.

Hence the name 'Lazy'. All we do is put it into EWR to get the ratings.

RAW WRITERS

He's a Lazy WWE veteran, taking the RAW Openers, TheReilDeal!

You don't know who he is, taking the RAW Lower Midcarders, Michael!

You know him from 'WWE after WrestleMania XIX, taking the RAW Upper Midcarders, Kapalua2483!

And finally, he did WCW in 1999, and now has the RAW Main Eventers, BigSheep305!

SMACKDOWN WRITERS

He's no longer SCW, but he is the SmackDown! Opener writer, another WWE Lazier from the past, Yi!

He's recently been doing WWF back in 1994, but now he's up to date with the SmackDown! Lower Midcarders, Diego!

He's famed for his split with Thuganomic, but now he takes the SmackDown! Upper Midcarders by himself, TheRaySays!

And finally, his longest diary had thirteen posts, but hopefully as SmackDown! Main Event writer he'll get more, Franchise!

I believe the first show, Velocity, is done, and Essa will be posting it when he's around. My first show, Heat, is also done, and will be up after Essa's.

So all that is left to say is... enjoy the shows!

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VELOCITY

SATURDAY, JANUARY 1

Jesus Aguilera vs Lil' Nate

As Velocity comes on the air, Lil' Nate is standing in the ring. Nate is pretty much using his white gangster, persona he uses on the independent circuit. Jesus Aguilera's music starts up and he comes storming out to the ring. The crowd, who had little to no reaction to Lil' Nate are heavily against Jesus and boo and jeer him on his way to the ring. However this seems to have no effect on Jesus who just ignores the crowd and walks down to the ring. Jesus really needs some new attire, as the white t-shirt and dungarees combination he's wearing tonight doesn't seem to be working, especially on a man the size of Jesus. The bell is rung and the match gets underway. Lil' Nate tries to step up to Jesus, but is completely overshadowed in both weight and height. Jesus grabs Nate's ginger afro before kneeing him right in the gut. Jesus starts his beating of Nate with some massive clubs across the back, knocking Nate to the mat where he changes his attack to stomps. Jesus grabs hold of Nate by his hair again and uses it to pull him to his feet. Jesus lunges towards Nate connecting with a vicious headbutt, Nate remains on his feet albeit groggy. Jesus then KO's him with a swinging elbow. Jesus with a lateral press, 1...2...

Lil' Nate kicks out. The physical punishment continues to be dished out on Lil' Nate for the net few minutes of the match. Nate attempts some comebacks, but is unable to get a physical move in on the big man. After some striking moves, Jesus is now contemplating finishing off the match. This is probably a wise move, due to the little crowd reaction for this squash. Jesus stands waiting for Lil' Nate to reach his feet. Once he does he hoists the little man high above his head where he shows his strength by bench-pressing him before letting Nate freefall face first to the canvas. Jesus whips Nate off the ropes and upon his return catches him in the face with a big boot. Jesus teases going for the pin but instead grabs a handful of Nate's hair and pulls him back to his feet. Jesus again whips Nate into the ropes, he goes down for a back body drop but Bate leapfrogs over him. Lil' Nate attempts a kick to the gut but Jesus grabs his leg and pulls him into a ferocious clothesline. Lil' Nate is out cold on the mat. Jesus takes the opportunity to mock Lil' Nate, which is also used to rip on the white boy gangster/rapper routine also used by John Cena (Who Jesus was defeated convincingly by recently). Jesus does a "Westside" sign before pulling Lil' Nate to his feet. He hoists Lil' Nate onto his shoulders for a Powerbomb. Jesus stalls before driving Nate to the canvas. Lil' Nate shows no sign of consciousness as Jesus places the palm of his right hand firmly on his chest, 1...2...3.

WINNER - Jesus Aguilera

Overall: 47

Crowd: 32

Match: 63

1/2*

I've got your back

The camera cuts to the backstage area where Paul London is sitting in his wrestling attire of black and white biker shorts, wrapping tape around his wrists. Shannon Moore comes into the locker room and sits himself next to London.

Shannon : "Hey Paul, I've come to ask you something."

London : "Can't it wait, I've got a match up next."

Shannon : "I just wanted to ask whether you had any tips for Smackdown."

London : "What do you mean tips?

Shannon : "For fighting Billy Kidman! I thought with you teaming with him for a while you might know some strength's or weaknesses."

London (Staring right in the eyes of Shannon Moore) : "As far as I feel now, I never teamed with Billy Kidman. The man who comes out to that ring announced as "Billy Kidman" is not the man that used to be my tag team partner. He's a different person, he's sick and twisted and is no longer someone who that I would admit to having ever been my friend. As for tips. Don't stay on your back for too long. You saw what happened to me as well as Chavo Guerrero, you don't want the same to happen to you. So to help to prevent this, I offer myself to watch your back."

Shannon : "How do you mean?"

London : "I want to be in your corner on Thursday night. There's nothing I would love more than to see you dish out a beating to Billy Kidman, and give him a taste of his own medicine."

London offers his hand out to Shannon Moore, Moore thinks about it, knowing that a victory in this match could elevate him up the cruiserweight ranks. Shannon Moore smiles and the two men shake hands. Shannon pats London.

Shannon : "If you've got my back, I've got yours."

The two men then leave for Paul London's match, next.

Overall: 44

Paul London (w/ Shannon Moore) vs Red Mask

Red Mask, is possibly the most generic looking guy ever. He simply wear's a red mask and red tights. The general belief is that it's Johnny Jeter under mask, getting some training matches before being called up to a full time schedule (Without anyone knowing who he is). Paul London's music starts up and he comes charging to the ring, joined by Shannon Moore. Moore is slowing coming to the ringside area, and greets the fans. Paul London locks up with Red Mask once the bell is sounded. A nice, "Lets go London" chant breaks up as he skips behind Red Mask and trips him down onto his face. London grabs Red Mask in a side headlock, Red Mask tilts London over onto his shoulders, 1...

London shifts his weight putting Red Mask back in the headlock. London lets go of the headlock, but before Red mask has a chance to get up he quickly spins around holding Red Mask in a hammerlock. Red Mask slowly begins to fight to his feet, he pulls his free arm behind him and wraps it around the head of London and takes him to the canvas with a headlock takedown. He doesn't get the chance to hold it in as London wraps his legs around the head of Red Mask holding him in a head scissor sleeper. Red Mask though forces his body weight onto his head, allowing him to roll over in a pinning bridge, 1...

London rolls forward putting Red mask into a bridge of his own, 1...2...

Red Mask rolls out backwards, before pushing London's legs over his shoulders, 1...2...

London kicks Red Mask away. London springs back to his feet, just in time to pull the oncoming Red Mask down with an armdrag. London holds onto a side arm lock, before pulling away at the wrist of Red Mask. Red Mask rolls backwards and onto his feet. London still has his wrist locked up and runs up the turnbuckle and along the ropes before jumping down whilst spinning, giving him the momentum to snap Red Mask over with an amazing Japanese armdrag. London again holds onto the wrist of Red Mask, seeing it as a way to keep him neutralised for attack. Red Mask lifts up his legs and wraps them around the head of the standing Paul London, he tries to flip London over in front of him but London cartwheels and remains on his feet, to a little applause from the crowd. Red Mask leaps up, as does London. Drop Sault! The dropkick connects right to the face of Red Mask. London quickly hits a standing Moonsault on the floored Red Mask, 1...2...

Kick out. Shannon Moore doesn't believe it, as he covers his face with his hands as the kick out is made. London though isn't as shocked, and is quickly back on the offensive with a snapmare and soccer kick to the back of the now seated Red Mask London darts off the ropes, he comes back looking for a rana on Red Mask, however Red Mask reverses and pushes London away, London backflips over onto his feet and makes another dash towards his opponent, but runs straight into a sickly tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. London lies on the canvas in a crumpled up heap as Red Mask pushes himself onto the middle rope. As London gets back to his feet Red Mask dives off giving him a bulldog lariat backbreaker (As he brings London down onto his knee). Red Mask with the pin, could this be an upset? 1...2...

No, London kicks out. Shannon Moore starts to slap his hands on the mat to urge London on. Red Mask is obviously frustrated as he pushes himself onto the middle rope again, looking for he same move. As the crowd join in with Shannon Moore urging on Paul London, Red Mask dives down towards him. Rana from London! 1...2...

Kick out! Paul London leaped up and caught him in midair! London is the first to his feet, but he's holding his back after Red Mask's high impact move. London catches the rising Red Mask with a spinning wheel kick to the face. London motions for a 450 Splash, this could be it. London slowly climbs to the top rope, but his hurt back prevents him going up quickly. Red Mask gets to his feet before London his fully positioned, he reaches up and grabs London for a press slam down to the canvas. London though grabs onto the head of Red Mask, and as Red Mask throws him he flips over planting him with his modified Tornado DDT! 1...2...3! London picks up the victory. Shannon Moore comes into the ring and high fives Paul London. London waits for Red Mask to get back up, London shakes his hand and leaves with Shannon Moore.

WINNER - Paul London

Overall: 57

Crowd: 37

Match: 77

**1/2

Mark Jindrak v Scotty 2 Hotty

Mark Jindrak is out first to ringside and enters the arena to a chorus of boo’s. Josh Matthews points out that he isn’t with his “Running buddies” tonight. Out next is Scotty 2 Hotty who gets a nice pop. Matthews notes this is the first appearance from Scotty on WWE TV for some time and he’ll be hoping to get a win on his return. The bell rings and both men lock up. Jindrak quickly takes control out powering S2H and taking him down with a hip toss followed by an elbow drop. MJ plays to the crowd for a few seconds before lifting him up and calls for an early finish. He lifts him onto his shoulders but Scotty reverses it into a hurracarana which gets a loud pop from the crowd. Jindrak gets back to his feet only to be knocked down with a jumping clothesline, and a second, Scotty goes for a third but Jindrak catches Scotty in mid air and tosses him into the corner. He runs at him and goes for a clotheslines but Scotty ducks and comes off the far ropes and hits Jindrak with a face buster. The crowd get to their feet as they all know what’s coming next, Scotty goes for the W-O-R-M but as he falls for the chop Jindrak uses the bottom rope to pull himself out of the ring sending Scotty face first into the mat. Jindrak quickly enters the ring and waits for S2H to turn around. As Scotty turns to face MJ, Jindrak hits him with a picture perfect standing dropkick. Jindrak then lifts him onto his shoulders and hits him with a hard powerbomb before making the pin for the three count. Jindrak celebrates the victory by tossing Scotty outside the ring and playing to the crowd as we cut to a video.

Winner: Mark Jindrak

Overall: 62

Crowd: 63

Match: 62

Heidenreich!

We cut to a dark room where Paul Heyman is standing next to a shadowy figure. Heyman begins to speak.

Heyman: For the first time in my life I was afraid, in all my years in wrestling I’ve never ever been afraid, not when I was working for WCW, not when I was with my beloved ECW and until recently never with the WWE but that all changed. I was afraid for my life. I thought that the end was here for Paul Heyman. I thought it was all over… until I met this man, HEIDENREICH.

The shadowy figure is revealed to be Heidenreich who is standing next to Heyman with his body in a straightjacket. He is staring at the camera. Heyman laughs.

Heyman: Now I am once again free of any cowardess, everything I was scared of is no more, Heidenreich has dealt with all my problems except one. That one is The Undertaker.

Heyman clasps his hands together.

Heyman: And this week on Smackdown, Heidenreich will solve my final problem as I am setting him free!

Heyman walks behind Heidenreich and takes off his straightjacket. Heidenreich screams out and walks towards the camera as Heyman smiles in the background. Heidenreich walks into the camera and throws it to the ground as we hear footsteps and then a door slamming shut and the screen going all black.

Overall: 85

Heidenreich gained overness

Main Event: Basham Brothers v Chavo Guerrero and Nunzio

We return from the commercial break and see Chavo Guerrero and Nunzio standing inside the ring. Josh Matthews welcomes us back and discusses what he just saw and inconclusively tries to work out what Heyman meant. The Basham Brothers are out next and just like Mark Jindrak earlier they are going it alone. Mathews asks us if it’ll be “2 out of 2 for JBL’s staff”. The bell rings as Danny Basham and Nunzio start off the main event. They lock up and Danny hits Nunzio with a knee lift followed by a snap suplex and a couple of knees to the head of Nunzio. Danny lifts Nunzio up and tags in Doug before locking in the full nelson on Nunzio. Doug enters the ring and nails the defenceless Nunzio with a hard knifechop to the chest knocking him down. Doug continues to assault Nunzio hitting him with several power moves as Chavo tries to get the crowd behind Nunzio. The Basham Brothers isolate Nunzio and make frequent tags putting a beating to Nunzio for several more minutes. Nunzio finally gets his break when both Basham’s go for a double clothesline only for Nunzio to duck it and take them out with a double crossbody. Both Bashams and Nunzio are on the mat. Nunzio crawls over and makes a tag to Chavo just as the Basham’s get to their feet.

Chavo catapults himself over the top rope and enters the ring. He runs at Danny and takes him down with a leg lariat followed by another on Doug. He nails Danny with a running clothesline and another to Doug. Danny gets back to his feet and Chavo runs at him before nailing him with a tornado DDT and going for the pin but only getting a two count as Doug gets back in time to make the save. Nunzio joins the action and all 4 men trade punches in the ring. Nunzio clotheslines Danny over the top rope and to the outside and follows him there leaving Doug with Chavo. Chavo gets the upperhand and lifts Doug up into the Gory bomb as on the outside Danny throws Nunzio into the barricades. Danny enters the ring just before Chavo can hit the Gory bomb and Takes him down with a dropkick which sending Chavo tumbling and puts Doug over Chavo and the ref makes the pin for the three count. The Basham Brothers celebrate their victory as they hightail it as Nunzio re-enters the ring. The Bashams celebrate up the ramp as the show comes to an end and Matthews reminds us to tune into Smackdown this week!

Winners: Basham Brothers at 9:46

Overall: 69

Crowd: 63

Match: 75

OVERALL: 54

First three segments were written by Yi. Last three were written by Diego.

Edited by Essa
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January 2nd 2005

THE UNFORGIVEN RE-MATCH OF DEATH

Stevie Richards vs Tyson Tomko

The referee calls for the bell, and Tomko wastes no time charging at Richards and knocking him down with a right hand. Tomko presses his advantage, whipping Stevie into the ropes and slams him into the mat with a spinebuster. Tomko hooks the leg, going for a quick victory. 1..Richards gets his shoulder up. Tomko grabs Stevie by the hair and hauls him to his feet, then forces him into the corner. Tomko backs up and charges at Stevie, hitting his smaller opponent with a back elbow smash. Tomko drives his boot into Stevie's abdomen once...twice...three times. Once again, Tomko 'helps' Stevie to his feet, before picking him up as if for a backdrop, then letting him fall face-first onto the mat -- flap jack! Tomko makes the cover..1...2...Kick out!

Tomko claps three times in the referee's face, indicating that he should count faster. As they argue by the ropes, Richards takes the opportunity to bounce off the far ropes and connect with a dropkick, sending Tomko to the outside! Tomko gets back up, but is sent back to the concrete after Richards catapults himself over the top rope and collides with Tomko. Both men are down, but Tomko appears to have suffered the worst from Stevie's aerial assault.

The referee begins to count; 1...2...3...Stevie staggers to his feet...4...5...6...Tomko also gets up. Richards, now on the apron, attempts a cross body, but Tomko catches him and sends him into the security barrier with a fallaway slam! Tyson picks Stevie up and sends him back into the ring. Once again, Tomko takes his time with Stevie, using the stairs to re-enter the ring instead of rolling in at the side. By the time Tomko gets back into the ring, Stevie has managed to make it to his feet. He bounces off the ropes, runs at Tomko and gets sent crashing to the mat with a Superkick for his efforts. Tomko drops down for the pin attempt, but has second thoughts. Instead, he picks Stevie up so that Stevie is in front of him and lifts him up for a backdrop. With Stevie in mid air, Tomko drops to one knee, and drives his right elbow into Stevie's throat as Richards' back comes crashing down onto Tomko's left knee in a version of a backbreaker that Tomko calls 'Problem Solved'. The impact of the elbow on the throat leaves Stevie's shoulders on the mat, and the referee counts the 1, 2, 3 as Tomko grins menacingly.

Winner: Tyson Tomko

Crowd: 56%

Match: 63%

Overall: 59%

Stars: 3/4*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Unusually for Heat, we cut backstage, where Muhammad Hussan is with Khosrow Daivari. The crowd in the arena boo them as soon as they appear on the titantron.

Muhammad Hussan Promo - Interrupted by Johnny Nitro (Booked as: Nitro interview, target: Hussan, purpose: turn Nitro face).

Hussan: "Yes, yes. Boo me all you want. Boo me for my beliefs, and the way I dress, go on. I know you enjoy it so much. Tens of thousands of people died last month, in one of the biggest disasters ever known. I suppose you people blame that on me, too? I suppo..."

Hussan is cut off by a familiar face who struts into the view of the camera.

Nitro: "Excuse me, mister Hussan. I'm sure you have many valid points to make, and stuff. But uhh..this ain't a political debate, and we aren't politicians... This is Sunday Night Heat, we're wrestlers. We wrestle. I don't know if you've forgotten that."

Hussan: "So now you want to beat me up, huh? You want to take me out to the ring and fight with me?"

Nitro: "I ain't a racist, Mr. Hussan. I'm a great believer in equality; I kick everyones ass equally, whether they're black or white, fat or thin, weak or strong, Arab or Chinese. I'm not predjudiced. Your beliefs don't matter to me. We all have to have beliefs, don't we?"

Nitro: "Some people believe that there is a God. Some people believe that there are several Gods. Different people believe different things, Mr. Hussan. You know what I believe?"

Hussan attempts to answer, but the question was obviously rhetorical.

Nitro: "I believe in destiny. And I believe that, one day, the WWE World Championship will have my name on it. That's my destiny, and the journey toward it starts right here."

Hussan: "Very well, but you know what they say, Mister..Nitro? Every journey begins with a single step.."

Nitro: "Yeah, see. That doesn't really work for me. I say more...every journey begins with a right hand to the face!"

Before the penny drops, Hussan is nailed with said right hand, to said face. Daivari drags Hussan away, and Nitro chases the pair to the ring.

Rating: 72%

Johnny Nitro gained overness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Muhammed Hussan vs Johnny Nitro

Daivari emerged first, going to ringside to sit with Coach and Al Snow. Hussan then ran to the ring, losing his headscarf as he slid under the ropes. Turning to retrieve it, he was met by a kick to the head by Nitro, who was using the turnbuckle post to slingshot himself into the ring.

Both men got to their feet inside the ring, and locked up, with Hussan getting the advantage, throwing Nitro into the corner and then following up with several forearms. Hussan then whips Nitro into the corner, but Nitro comes right out of the corner and pounces on the running Arab with a flying clothesline. Nitro then pulls up Hussan and after a couple of chops, sends him into the ropes and takes him right down with a leg lariat. Nitro's not done yet and goes to the ring apron for a somersault leg drop across Hussan's throat. The cover gets a two, and the match continues.

Nitro spring to his feet and hits a few quick kicks as Hussan tries to gets up, then knocks him back down with a kick to the jaw. With his opponent down, Nitro goes to drop a knee across the throat of the Arabian, but Hussan rolls out of the way. Picking Nitro up by the neck, Hussan twists around and drops Nitro in a Neckbreaker, following up with stomps to the head.

Hussan goes to work on Nitro again, pulling him by the hair, then suplexes him right into the middle of the ring. Following up, he comes off the ropes and drops a big elbow drop to the solar-plexis. Then, Hussan comes off the ropes again and drops a leg on the other solar-plexis; you know, the one the rest of us call the chest.

Hussan taunts the crowd, who boo him more, before returning to Nitro and trying for a powerbomb, but Nitro reverses it into a head scissors, then hits a big dropkick followed up by a hurricanrana to bring Hussan down! Nitro peppers Hussan with a few right hands, then sends him into the corner. Nitro goes to the other corner as Khasrow Daivari throws his headset down and comes running to ringside. Nitro runs up for an avalanche on Hussan, into a DDT out of the corner. Nitro then sets up for the standing shooting star press, but Daivari jumps up onto the apron in front of him and distracts him. Nitro swings for the Arabian manager, but Daivari jumps down, and Hussan takes the opportunity to nail Nitro square where even the desert sun doesn't shine. He then rolls him up for a three count, with a side order of tights.

The fans boo the finish, and the Arabs, as Heat goes to a commercial break.

Winner: Muhammed Hussan

Crowd: 62%

Match: 58%

Overall: 60%

Stars: 1/2*

Muhammed Hussan gained overness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maven’s music blasts through the arena, and the first-ever Tough Enough Champion struts to the ring with a cocky smile. He rolls under the ropes and takes the mic from the ring announcer with a wink that exudes the confidence of a man with a plan.

“Let me begin,” Maven declares, “by reminding you all of what I accomplished just a few short weeks ago.” He gestures toward the Titantron, which is playing the ending of the last live RAW’s main event: Maven rolls Shelton Benjamin up with a schoolboy; in a rough cut, the camera angle switches as the referee counts the three; Maven celebrates the victory. The screen darkens and Maven’s furry brow furrows. “I beat the Intercontinental Champion!” his tone is not boastful, but almost pleading. “I beat Shelton Benjamin, but I’m not the champion. I’m not the number one contender. I’m not even on RAW! No, I’m here – on this second-rate pitiful excuse for a program – wrestling Mark Henry, a man who hasn’t been in the ring in ages! This is simply unacceptable.”

The smile returns; the eyes sparkle. “So here’s what I propose: an open challenge…to a champion, any champion. If I win, I get a title shot; if I lose, I’ll…well, I won’t lose, so I’ll let you pick the stipulation. Is there anyone who will accept my challenge?

“Anyone?

“Everyone’s that afraid of me?

“It figures.” He shakes is head. “I get no respect around h–” Maven’s words are cut off as the music of Women’s Champion Lita rattles the speakers! The usually fiery diva takes the stage slowly. She goes to speak, but is interrupted by Maven.

“Whoa, Lita. I respect that you had the ba…the guts to try and take me on,” he chuckles bemusedly, “but – let’s be real here – you don’t exactly have the qualifications, if you know what I mean.” Lita glares at him, and shakes her heard slowly, feigning bewilderment.

“No, Maven,” she says dryly, “I don’t know what you mean. I’m a champion, aren’t I?” She raises her belt in her hand, verifying the rhetorical nature of her question.

“You know damn well what I mean!” Maven’s countenance turns angry now. “You don’t send a woman to do a man’s job! And when I win, what then? You think I want a shot at that?” He points toward the golden strap, which Lita slowly lowers, her face now stone cold.

“That?” she utters slowly, trying to control the rush of emotions. “That?” she repeats. “And I suppose if I lost that it wouldn’t be any big deal, right? I mean, men can’t have that, so it must not be important, right? It must not mean anything, right? Hey, if any woman could do it, how special could it be?” Lita is trembling now, overwhelmed. Her composure breaks and she screams the next sentence, in tears:

“That was a person, you monster!”

Rating: 65%

Lita lost overness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before Maven can respond, however, a voice from off-camera howls, “It’s NOT MY FAULT!” Gene Snitsky lumbers onto the stage, his hulking body overwhelming the surprised Lita. “Daminit, woman!” He roars. “You think I don’t know what you’re talking about? I’ve tried being nice to you. I’ve tried being friendly. I even came to watch your match! But look what you do…you keep bringing this up, you keep pushing my buttons!” Snitsky is now towering over Lita, who has collapsed to her knees to try and get away from the massive brute.

“What happened to you is your own damn fault. Now accept your own responsibility and leave me alone, before you push me over the edge!”

Suddenly, Mark Henry appears and starts shouting at Snitsky. He has no mic, so we can’t hear what he says, but it is clear that he disapproves of the way Gene is treating Lita. Siexing the opportunity of her antagonist’s distraction, the diminutive Lita scuttles between his legs and sprints down the ramp. Snitsky, instantly cognizant of his fleeing captive, spins to chase her but is cut off by a wall a fire that ascends from the floor. The massive pyro raises the crowds’ interest; they cheer loadly at the omen of their immanently-retuning hero. From a camera in the wings of the stage, the viewers see Snitsky leap back from the flames grasping blindly at his eyes. Mark Henry, who had charged to intervene in the attempted pursuit tackles the stumbling misogynist and both men tumble from their perch and crash through a table loaded with cords and cables.

Rating: 61%

Lita lost overness

Mark Henry turned face

Mark Henry gained overness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark Henry vs. Maven

Returning from commercials, Mark Henry and Maven are in the ring. Coach and Todd Grisham inform the audience that, though Henry was banged up quite a bit in that fall, he has insisted on competing – a decision Coach attributes to the infrequency of Henry’s television opportunities. Throughout the match replays of the previous segments are shown, focusing principally on the fall – which basically amounted to a spear by Henry – and a short clip of EMTs reviving Snitsky with smelling salts. The match itself was as would be expected. Mark Henry apparently had hurt his right arm in the fall, he rubbed it frequently throughout the bout. Maven attempted to capitalize on that weakness, but couldn’t do much considering his inept submission skills. Henry controlled the pace with a limited arsenal of power moves, relying heavily on an awkward left-handed clothesline. The big man looked to have the match won when he snatched Maven into a powerful bear-hug, but a few well-placed blows to the weakend right shoulder thwarted that attempt. Henry stumbled backward in pain and was hit squarely in the jaw with a beautiful dropkick that sent him reeling over the top rope and spilling oddly to the floor. The referee counted to ten, but Henry stayed down, clutching his arm. Maven celebrated half-heartedly before walking to the back without so much as a glance at his opponent, who was now being treated at ringside by the medical staff.

Winner: Maven by count-out

Crowd: 67%

Match: 58%

Overall: 64%

Stars: 1/2*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

This is the quota-filling generic women’s match that the internet fans have been clamoring for. Half decent wrestling from these two; the other half was snapmares and hair pulling, or in Molly's case, wig pulling. Victoria has decided she wants to be the new RVD and hits a sweet looking Monkey Flip from the corner. You know who else used to do that move? Kwi-wee. Vickie climbs the turnbuckle and hits a big cross body, but Molly rolls through it into a pinning predicament. She tries to use the ropes for leverage, but gets caught by the ref! He admonishes her, and the distraction proved fatal. Victoria sends Molly into the ropes and finishes sloppily with a fireman’s carry sidewalk-slam. Two-thirteen-year-old girls in the audience cheered.

Winner: Victoria

Crowd: 75%

Match: 60%

Overall: 70%

Stars: 3/4*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Main Event

Eugene vs Christian

"Child's Play" hits and Eugene comes out onto the stage to a big pop from the crowd with William Regal at his side the World Tag Team Championships around their waists. They make their way down to the ring and Eugene plays on the ropes and then gets into the ring. Then once Eugene is in the ring "Just Close Your Eyes" hits and Christian comes out onto the stage with Tyson Tomko accompanying him to the ring. Christian climbs into the ring and takes his coat off and we're ready to go.

Eugene and Christian lock up and Eugene actully takes Christian to school early on in this matchup but Christian gains control when Tomko interferes in the match with a big boot that connects to the head of Eugene viciously. Regal and Tomko fight towards the back and at this point Christian is taking advantage of the situtation and trying to get a quick pinfall but Eugene kicks out. Christian goes for the Unprettier but Eugene pushes Christian off and winds up knocking Charles Robinson to the outside of the ring. Christian then hits a low blow on Eugene and then pulls out the Unprettier and lays Eugene out but now Shelton Benjamin comes running down to the ring and slides under the bottom rope. Christian gets up in time to take the Exploder Slam from Benjamin and then Benjamin throws Eugene's arm over Christian as Robinson gets back up and sees the cover and crawls over counting..1....2....3! "Child's Play" hits and Eugene gets up and begins to celebrate while Benjamin is on the stage with the Intercontinental Title in hand, celebrating in his own right at Heat goes off the air.

Winner: Eugene

Crowd: 73%

Match: 78%

Overall: 75%

Stars: **1/2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Overall Show: 55%

TV Rating: 5.12

Attendance: 7,013

Takings: $280,520

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Best Match: Christian vs. Eugene

Worst Match: Maven vs. Mark Henry

Best Other: Nitro/Hussan

Worst Other: Lita/Snitsky/Henry

Show MVP: Muhammed Hussan

Show Idiot: Stevie Richards

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tomko vs. Richards written by TheReilDeal

Hussan/Nitro written by TheReilDeal

Hussan vs. Nitro written by TheReilDeal

Maven/Lita confrontation written by Michael

Lita/Snitsky/Henry angle written by Michael

Maven vs. Mark Henry written by Michael

Victoria vs. Molly Holly written by Michael

Eugene vs. Christian written by Kapalua2483

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edited by Chris2K
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Guest Red Devil

Chris i think you really need to look over your side of the results more clearly. Mark Henry isn't back from injury yet and is still out for a couple of months yet. Other then that the diary is finally getting started and hopefully it can pick up some steam ASAP.

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Chris i think you really need to look over your side of the results more clearly. Mark Henry isn't back from injury yet and is still out for a couple of months yet.

There are the miracles of modern science. Plus my lower midcard writer has VERY few male wrestlers, and therefore I gave him permission to use Henry.

And what do you mean look over my side?

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Guest Red Devil

Didn't many anything bad, was just talking in jest. I'm a stickler for realism so both Nitro and Henry being brough up woth explnation isn't that good. A simply sentance before the match saying they've returned because of this would have been good enough.

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3rd January 2005

As we get underway, the fans come to their feet in unison to boo as the music of none other than Eric Bischoff fills the arena. He carries the Big Gold Belt with him, but doesn't appear to be very happy. After making his way into the ring, Bischoff pulls a mic from his black jeans pocket (thus proving he WASN'T just happy to see the fans wink wink) and begins to speak*

Bischoff: Alright alright, keep it down. I've got a few things to say, and I don't want to be out here with you idiots any longer than I have to be. Because you see, right now, I am NOT, a happy man. See, earlier today, I had a meeting with the WWE Board of Directors concerning what was SUPPOSED to be the next PPV spectacular produced by yours truly. Notice I said SUPPOSED to be. After everything I've done for this company, after everything I've done for this brand, Raw, and after everything I had done to ensure that New Years Revolution would prove once again that Raw is the place to be, I got the rug pulled out from under me by a bunch of old talentless, charismaless, know nothings. Hi Linda.

*The crowd continues to boo, but seems to be subdued, waiting to see what exactly Bischoff is referring to*

Bischoff: I was informed that due to "cost cutting measures", that New Years Revolution, and especially the Elimination Chamber to determine the new World Heavyweight Champion, was OFF.

*Now the crowd boos louder, not happy with the decision at all*

Bischoff: Believe me, I don't like it anymore than any of you. This was supposed to be my show, my big moment in the spotlight, and it gets pulled out from under me. But I guess I have to look on the bright side: It's not like any of you people deserved to see what I had in store anyway. And hey, you people should be used to disappointment by now. I mean, considering your entire LIFE is a disappointment and all. But that's not why I'm out here. You see, one thing that has always been said about Eric Bischoff is that he always has a plan. And so tonight, since my previous plan was taken away from me, we move to plan B. And here it is: Starting tonight, and continuing for the next four weeks, the main event of Raw will be a qualifying match for a slot in a Fatal Four Way at The Royal Rumble. The winner of THAT match will be the NEW World Heavyweight Champion. Tonight's match will feature none other than former champion Chris Benoit taking on...Ric Flair. The winner WILL advance to The Royal Rumble match. Next week you'll be seeing Edge face Chris Jericho. Two great matches between four great competitors. Oh, but I'm sure some of you are wondering why Ric Flair is a part of this, since he wasn't in the Elimination Chamber in the first place. "What about Batista maybe" you might be asking? Well quite frankly, it's not in Batista's best interest to be involved in the Championship picture right now. I spoke with HHH, the leader of Evolution, and he agrees with me. So sorry Batista, maybe later. And as far as the rest of tonight goes, let's just say I'm in a generous mood, and I'm giving the other Championship contenders the night off from wrestling. Oh wait, except for Randy Orton. That was another request HHH made, which I was MORE than happy to agree to. And see Randy, since New Years Revolution got canceled, there's somebody else who got screwed out of a big match. And he's not very happy about it. So I agreed that I'll let him take out his anger on you tonight. Orton, tonight, it's you...and KANE! Enjoy.

With that, Bischoff drops the mic and exits the ring, his smirk very evident on his face.

Rating: 79%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Johnny Nitro is warming up backstage, readying himself for the opening match, when there's a knock at his door. Without waiting to be invited, Muhammed Hussan and Khosrow Daivari barge through the door.

Hussan: "Is this right, Nitro? You have a girl for a tag team partner?"

Hussan and Daivari chuckle to themselves as Nitro finishes lacing his boots and stands up.

Nitro: "What if I have?"

Hussan: "You're bringing a girl to fight us? This is an INSULT!"

A female voice comes from behind Nitro, off camera. That of Alexis Laree.

Laree: "Haven't you heard of equality, Muhammed?"

Daivari mumbles "not in this country...", which is barely audible.

Laree: "Just because I'm a girl, you think I'm inferior?"

Hussan: "Just because I'm Arabian, you think I'm inferior..."

Nitro: "That's not because you're Arabian, Muhammed. That's because you suck..."

Hussan goes to swing at Nitro, but Daivari intervenes.

Daivari: "Lets save this for the ring, guys. C'mon, Mister Hussan. The girl will be easy enough to defeat without hindering her cause further..."

Nitro slams the door as Raw goes to commercials.

Rating: 74%

Alexis Laree made her debut

Alexis Laree gained overness

Johnny Nitro gained overness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Johnny Nitro and Alexis Laree vs. Muhammed Hussan and Khosrow Daivari

Nitro and Laree come out first, to cheers from the crowd. Laree, unlike most of the other divas, is actually wearing clothes *shock*.

Hussan and Daivari (must resist temptation to name them Arabian Knights) walk to the ring under a shower of boos, with Laree retreating to the outside (because Nitro ordered her to). Daivari slides into the ring, enticing Nitro to attack him, only to be attacked from behind by Hussan. Daivari slithers over to his corner, as Hussan maintains the attack using punches and kicks to keep Nitro down.

Laree taunts Hussan, giving Nitro a chance to recover and trip the Arab up. Pulling Hussan to his feet in a headlock, Nitro nails him in the cranium a few times with punches, before hitting a suplex. After a few stomps to the chest, Nitro picks Hussan up again, but Hussan fires off right hands into his abdomen, and steals the momentum. Hussan whips Nitro into the ropes, but misses the clothesline on the rebound. Nitro keeps going and bounces back off the opposite ropes, nailing Hussan with a spear.

Laree starts clapping along with the crowd to try and spur her partner on, but Hussan is also up, and grabs Nitro's arm for an armwringer. With control of Nitro's arm, Hussan tags in Daivari, who kicks away at Nitro's midsection, taking full advantage of the five count.

Daivari charges at Nitro once Hussan leaves the ring, but Nitro ducks the punch and drops him with a belly to back suplex. Daivari gets to his feet and Nitro grabs him and nails a bridging german suplex that gets him a two count. Daivari gets to his feet again and reverses a tilt-a-whirl from Nitro into a spinning head scissors, sending Nitro sliding towards his corner. Laree reaches over at full stretch and tags herself in, much to Nitro's annoyance and Daivari's delight.

The delight is soon washed away however, as Laree slaps him across the face, and drives his head into the mat with a DDT. Daivari struggles to his feet, but Laree kips up onto his shoulders as he does so, and hits a rana for two. A surprised Daivari gets to his feet immediately, and runs to tag in his partner. Hussan, claiming to show Daivari how it's done, goes for a lariat, but Laree ducks it and takes his legs away with a sweeping kick.

Laree gets to her feet and drops an elbow on Hussan, before going up to the top rope. She plays to the fans for a while, allowing Hussan to get to his feet, but then hits the Laree DDT, driving Hussan's head into the mat. Laree drags Hussan to his feet and rolls him up with a Small Package, but Daivari reverses it before chasing Nitro out of the ring as the referee counts to three.

Winners: Muhammed Hussan and Khosrow Daivari

Crowd: 47%

Match: 68%

Overall: 48%

Stars: 1/4*

Muhammed Hussan gained overness

Khosrow Daivari gained overness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ross and Lawler comment on how The Arabs had to cheat to beat a girl as we go backstage, where Mark Henry is arriving. He is dressed in street clothes, and his right arm rests in a sling. As Henry walks down a long corridor, Todd Grisham rushes into the scene to interview the injured star.

“Tell me,” begs Todd, “how’s your arm doing?”

The usually jubilant big man contorts his face into a thoughtful frown. “I’ll live,” he replies simply. “I’m fin ta go see Dr. Andrews again this week. I don’t think I tore it again or nothin’.” Suddenly he breaks out beaming. “There’s the girl I come ta see!” He extends his lone functional arm and greets Lita with a half-hug. He takes a quick look at here and his expression reverts. “You okay?” he queries. “You look like you been cryin.”

“I’m fine,” she sniffs, running a hand through her disheveled hair. “Can talk to you…but not here?” She glances disdainfully at Todd and the cameras.

“Yeah,” he mumbles in his baritone. “Yeah, sure. Sorry pal,” he says to Grisham. “Interview’s over. Lady’s choice.” The pair walk into an empty room; Lita snuggles herself under Mark Henry’s protective embrace. The door closes.

JR and King rehash the events of the previous night, with Lawler suggesting that Henry attempted to return too soon from the reconstructive labrum surgery that sidelined him last February. Both announcers stop cold, however, as the camera pans the empty hallway to encounter the hulking figure of Gene Snitsky hiding behind a stack of equipment, peering intently at the now-closed door.

JR: “What the..?”

Rating: 63%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maven vs. Rosey

Returning from the break, Maven is in the center of the ring, armed with a microphone. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” he blurts out abruptly and angrily. “I get no respect around here! I beat the Intercontinental Champion in the center of this ring three weeks ago!” He cocks his head at the indignity of the next sentence, “since then, I’ve been given zero title shots…” He grimaces. “…and I was forced to wrestle Mark Henry on Heat.

“That’s bullshit!

“There, I said it.” Maven begins strutting around the ring as that single sentence has somehow liberated him. “It’s bullshit, “ he repeats, more confident now, “and I’m not taking it. I’m going to stay in this ring until a champion accepts my challenge.”

Luckily for the viewers, the wait is not long. The unmistakable music of RAW’s “biggest” superhero fills the arena. The red and yellow adorned Rosey rushes down the isle, cap flapping behind him, but is halted by a crude objection.

“Hold UP!” Maven demands angrily. “I said champ, Rosey, not chump. This is exactly the type of thing I’m talking about!”

Rosey has climbed into the ring now, moved by the insult. He stands toe-to-toe with the undersized Maven.

“Look atchya, man.” Maven continues, undaunted. “How are you ever gonna be a champion if you don’t take yourself serieously?”

“I am a champion,” Rosey rumbles into Maven’s mic.

“Really?” Maven counters. “What the hell kinda champion dresses up in his pajamas with a tablecloth around his neck?” He laughs at his own joke.

“A Champion of Justice!” Rosey yells into the microphone, answering the rhetorical question. He swings at his instigator as the bell rings, but Maven simply ducks the punch. Sliding behind the big man, Maven grabs ahold of the flailing cape. Rosey spins to confront his opponent, but only entangles himself, and Maven takes advantage by wrapping the cape around the superhero’s head. Rosey flails helplessly and is hit with a dropkick that sends him rebounding off the turnbuckle. As he stumbles forward, Maven grabs the big man and hits a neckbreaker! He makes the cover…1, 2, 3!

Maven looks disdainfully down his foe, who is still flopping around on the mat like a tuna caught in a fisherman’s net. He simply shakes his head and walks sullenly to the back as the referee untangles Rosey.

Winner: Maven

Crowd: 68%

Match: 56%

Overall: 57%

Stars: 1/4*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christian is backstage in the General Manager's Office where he is talking or more like pleading with Eric Bischoff

Christian: Mr. Bischoff I'm begging you for another shot at Benjamin. He screwed me on Heat and I KNOW all my Peeps want to see me take him down and bring the Intercontinental Championship back where it belongs.

Bischoff: Christian, despite Shelton interfering in your match last night on Heat. You've been bested every single time you've gone up against Shelton Benjamin. Every single time he has taken you down and retained the Intercontinental Championship...He's one step ahead of you and I don't see how suddenly your going to catch up.

Christian: Give me one last shot Mr. Bischoff. Give me a match with Benjamin tonight. Let me prove myself and I will owe you big time!

Bischoff: Fine Christian. It will be you vs Shelton Benjamin tonight one on one in a Non-Title Match and if you win I will give you a Title Shot but..You do owe me big time.

Christian then gives Bischoff a pat on the shoulder and heads off to get ready as we go to commercial break.

Rating: 77%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rhyno vs. The Hurricane

Hurricane's music hits first as the lights dim and a Hurricane is apparently coming through. Hurricane makes his way down to the ring to a good crowd reaction and slides under the bottom rope, taking his cape off and tossing it out of the ring. Then Rhyno's music hits and the Man Beast makes his way out from the back to a good reaction. Both men go at it for about five minutes until Batista comes out from backstage and comes walking down to the ring. Both men continue on and a moment later Rhyno hits his huge Spinebuster on Hurricane to put him down to the mat and backs into a corner but Batista jumps onto the ring apron now and gets into the ring. Rhyno looks confused but is less confused when Batista up-ends him with a vicious lariat. Hurricane receives no better when he takes a nasty spinebuster from Batista as well.

Batista then picks Rhyno up and hoists him up into and destroys Rhyno with a Sit-Out Powerbomb and then his music hits and Batista leaves the ring as we go to commercial break we get a view of him walking up the steel ramp and we see the carnage left in the ring.

No Contest

Crowd: 66%

Match: 70%

Overall: 61%

Stars: *1/2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christian vs Shelton Benjamin

Non-Title Match

Shelton Benjamin is the first man out to the ring. His pyro returns this week (I think it was cool and they should've kept it). Benjamin then comes out onto the stage as his music is playing but he barely makes it to the ramp before Christian attacks him from behind! Christian clocks Benjamin with a huge lariat and then brings him down to the ring and whips him as hard as he can into the steel ring steps. Christian then rolls Benjamin into the ring and proceeds to beat on him for seven minutes with several near falls. Christian late in the match hits an implant DDT on Benjamin in the center of the ring and covers him..1...2..kickout by Benjamin. Christian stands up and waits for Benjamin to get up and goes for the Unprettier but in a desperate move Benjamin pushes him off to the ropes and superkicks him in the jaw as he comes back at him. Both men go down and the Hebner begins a ten count.

Both men get up and Benjamin tries for another superkick but Christian catches it and throws his foot away and Benjamin spins around trying to hit a Dragon Whip but Christian ducks it and Benjamin hits the mat. Christian then quickly manages to hook in the Unprettier and nail it! He then covers Benjamin..1....2....3! Christian gets up and picks Benjamin up and hits the Exploder Slam on him!!! Christian then goes over and climbs to the second turnbuckle in the top left corner of the ring and poses for the crowd that is boo'ing him out of the building as we go to commercial break with Christian slapping his chest.

Winner: Christian

Crowd: 82%

Match: 79%

Overall: 72%

Stars: **3/4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Place in Royal Rumble 4-Way

Randy Orton vs. Kane

As JR and The King talk about the suddenness of this match and wonder how Orton was supposed to be able to prepare for the shocking return of Kane, the music of the former World Heavyweight Champion floods the air. Orton makes his way to the ring with a determined look on his face, as the fans give him a decent sized pop. He paces in the ring, awaiting the arrival of his monster foe. The wait is short lived, as soon an EXPLOSION fills the arena, signaling the appearance of Kane. Kane walks straight down the ramp, never pausing, ignoring everything but the man in front of him. As he makes it into the ring, Orton springs forward to attack, hoping for an early advantage.

The bell rings as this happens, and the match is underway. Orton's charge is stopped quickly by a big right hand from Kane, who continues to attack with more heavy blows to the face and body of Orton. Orton attempts to fight back with punches of his own, but soon finds himself on his back after Kane reverses and attempted whip into the ropes and catches him with a side slam that rattles the canvas. Kane doesn't attempt a cover however, instead picking Orton up for more punishment. He misses on a big punch though, enabling Orton to recover and catch him with a dropkick right to the chin. The Big Red Machine is staggered as Orton goes on the attack, nailing more punches, mixed in with some European Uppercuts. Another attempted whip into the ropes is blocked by Kane, who pulls Orton into him before backdropping him right over the top rope and onto the floor. Orton is obviously hurt as Kane goes out after him.

Kane pulls Orton up by the hair, before throwing him head-first into the steel ring steps. He continues his assault by ramming Orton's head repeatedly into the steps, before throwing him into the ring post itself. Orton can be seen to be busted open, which only serves as a red flag for Kane, who grabs a chair, nailing Randy with it right into the head. The referee, seeing this, has no choice but to call for the bell, giving Orton the win by DQ.

Kane doesn't let up on his attack though, as he rolls Orton back into the ring. He continues to brutalize him with the chair, battering Orton in the head, the body, and every other place he can think of until Orton is left quivering on the mat. Finally, Kane throws the chair down, only to pick Orton up and deliver a TOMBSTONE ONTO THE CHAIR! As this happens, a flood of referees and officials fill the ring, trying to pull Kane off. He fights them all off long enough to grab Orton and deliver ANOTHER Tombstone Piledriver. Apparently satisfied for the moment, Kane stares down at Orton's broken body for a moment, before stalking out of the ring.

Winner: Randy Orton by DQ

Crowd: 77%

Match: 70%

Overall: 66%

Stars: *3/4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We cut backstage to where Ric Flair is standing holding a microphone. Curiously, he seems to be alone, with no other members of Evolution around.

Ric Flair: Whooooooo! Chris Benoit, are you ready for tonight punk? Are you ready for what's about to happen to you? Benoit, when I heard Bischoff say that I got you tonight, lemme tell you something. I called HHH on the phone, and I said "H, whadda ya want me to do? Should I take it easy on Benoit, should I give him a good match, or should I break him in two?" And HHH said "Naitch, I want you to hurt Benoit. He's nothing but a scumbag loser who can't hang with Evolution." And that's the truth Benoit. You've NEVER been able to hang with The NAITCHA BOY. Back in WCW, you couldn't make it as a Horsemen, you couldn't make it as a Revolution member, and today, you damn sure couldn't make it as an EVOLUTION member. Because we are the BEST of the best punk, and don't you forget it. Now I know what you can do in that ring Benoit. You think you're a tough guy, you think you're a great technical wrestler, and you are. But one thing you've never been, one thing you're not today, and one thing you never will be, is the MAN. Because Ric Flair, and HHH, and Evolution, WE ARE THE MEN! And like I always said Benoit, To be the man, you've gotta BEAT the man. WHOOOOOOOOOO! And tonight, you'll see that Ric Flair is STILL THE MAN! WHOOOOOOO! WHOOOOOOOO!

Rating: 97%

Ric Flair gained overness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For a place in Royal Rumble 4 Way

Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair

Ric Flair's music hits as he makes his way down to the ring, still strutting and whoooo'ing as he goes. The fans seem to be mixed, as some boo his antics, but a large number still love The Nature Boy. As Flair continues to show off in the ring, Chris Benoit enters suddenly, not even allowing his music time to play. He rolls into the ring,a and goes right after Flair as the bell rings signaling the start of the contest.

The chops start flying quickly, a Benoit unloads on Flair, causing his chest to redden in a hurry. Flair tries to fight back, but can't seem to faze The Rabid Wolverine. After repeated chops, Benoit sends Flair into the ropes, catching him with a big back bodydrop as he comes off. Benoit stomps away at Flair on the mat, causing The Nature Boy to back into a corner. Benoit pulls him up, which allows Flair a chance to give him a thumb to the eye. He reverses their positions, putting Benoit into the corner, before starting his OWN chopfest, slowing the action back down. Benoit doesn't stay back for long though, coming back with more chops of his own, as well a kick to the gut, which leads into a snap suplex for a two count.

Benoit picks Flair up and sends him into the ropes again, ducking his head. He does this too soon however, as Flair is able to stop and rake Benoits eyes, stopping his momentum. Flair then snapmares Benoit, putting him on his back, before back up for a low rolling knee to the head. Flair presses his advantage, picking Benoit up for a vertical suplex of his own. He can't seem to hold him up for very long, but still manages to bring him back down hard to the mat. The match begins to slow down as Flair continues in control, with the leg of Benoit now being the main focus of his attack. Flair uses knee-breakers, stomps, and knees to the...knee (ahem) to soften Benoit up for the Figure Four.

Finally, Flair looks to be ready to end the match, as he pulls Benoit to the center of the ring. As he spins to put on the Figure Four however, Benoit counters and pulls Flair down into a small package, which gets a close two count. His momentum broken, Flair is confused as he gets back to his feet, which allows Benoit time to watch him from behind with a big German Suplex. As is his wont, Benoit holds on, delivering first one more, and then two more German's, putting Flair down on the mat. Benoit signals for the Flying Headbutt, and goes up top. The damage done to his leg slows him down though, enabling Flair to get to his feet and catch Benoit on the top. Flair tries to go up for an apparent superplex, but Benoit pushes him off, sending him crashing to the mat. With Flair in position, Benoit is able to come off the top with a big Flying Headbutt. Despite the damage this does to Benoit himself, it's still enough for him to be able to cover Flair, picking up the 1-2-3, the victory, and the spot in the Fatal Fourway.

As Flair rolls out of the mat, obviously still feeling the effects of the match, Benoit celebrates in the ring, making the "I want the belt" motions which the fans seem to support

Winner: Chris Benoit

Crowd: 91%

Match: 63%

Overall: 73%

Stars: *1/4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Overall Show: 70%

TV Rating: 5.56

Attendance: 7,001

Takings: $280,040

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Best Match: Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin

Worst Match: Alexis Laree/Johnny Nitro vs. Muhammed Hussan and Khosrow Daivari

Best Segment: Ric Flair interview

Worst Segment: Mark Henry interview

Show MVP: Ric Flair

Show Idiot: Rosey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bischoff announcement: Written by bigsheep305

Laree debut: Written by TheReilDeal

Laree/Nitro vs. Hussan/Daivari: Written by TheReilDeal

Henry interview: Written by Michael

Maven vs. Rosey: Written by Michael

Hurricane vs. Rhyno: Written by Kapalua2483

Bischoff makes match: Written by Kapalua2483

Shelton vs. Christian: Written by Kapalua2483

Orton vs. Kane: Written by bigsheep305

Flair interview: Written by bigsheep305

Flair vs. Benoit: Written by bigsheep305

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Compiled by Chris2K

Edited by Chris2K
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I Don't know if I am going to push Batista or not (He's mine by the way)

I Have him in a feud with Rhyno to start off and I Like both guys so I am unsure how I want to go about it. But rest assured most of the guys I get will get over. Batista will be portrayed properly that's for sure.

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  • 5 weeks later...

WWE SMACKDOWN

JANUARY 6, 2005

US Title Match... In A Week

So… You think you’re untouchable?

“Basic Thuganomics” hits, and the United States Champion, John Cena hip-hops out onto the stage, spinning his title belt like a moron. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to watch John Cena as a face. He needs some of his edge back.

He plays to the crowd for a bit, throwing up the “Word Life” thumbs and pinkies and slapping hands with the wookies at ringside. Cena rolls into the ring and takes the house mic offered by good ol’ Tony Chimel.

Cena: “Yo-yo-YO! The champ is HERE!... Mohegan Sun… Lemme hear ya make some NOISE!”

The crowd obliges, and Cena kills time waiting for them to quiet down before continuing.

Cena: “Line ‘em up… I knock ‘em down… Punks steppin’ up to take a shot at the crown…”

Cena spins his U.S. Title for emphasis.

Cena: “Well it’s a happy new year for the auld lang syne… Gonna kick it off with a BANG and make this year mine… The year of the chain… My dominance is a LOCK… If you think you can stop me… you can press your lips to my…”

Cena grabs his crotch and holds the mic up for the filthy fill-in from the helpful crowd. Their cheers are cut short as a somewhat familiar dirge hits the speakers and Luther Reigns stomps out in suit and tie, a microphone in hand. After the jeers and catcalls die down, he takes it to his mustached lips.

Luther: “That’s about ENOUGH! You call yourself a thug? You call yourself untouchable?”

Cena: “Hey… Yo… I might be, but I ain’t lookin’ for you to try and touch me. I heard all about your prison exploits. I understand they called you Loverboy Luther.”

Cena makes a yucky face, drawing a chuckle from the crowd. Reigns stomps his foot in indignation.

Luther: “Keep runnin’ yer mouth, Cena! Week after week, you’re writing checks with yer mouth that yer body can’t cash.”

Cena looks mock confused, then spins his U.S. Title belt again.

Cena: “Uh, by the looks of this here, I’m takin’ *bleep*s to the BANK!”

Luther: “Y’see… that stops NOW! This whole charade stops NOW! I know a thug when I see one… ‘cuz I used ta be ONE… but I paid my dues, and what I see in that ring is a wannabe… a kid playin’ thug… a punk playin’ gangsta… when I LIVED it!”

Cena: “You lived it, huh? You bonafide? You think I’m just playin’ up in here? Well, I been called a playa’ before. Bottom line… Loverboy… You want some? Come get some… We’ll see who’s playin’ and who’s slayin’…”

Cena dumps the mic then lifts the padlocked chain from around his neck, drawing a pop. On the ramp, Luther tosses his microphone aside and begins loosening his tie and shrugging out of his suit jacket.

“Mack Militant” suddenly begins to play, and the crowd instinctively boos as they were looking forward to the two men mixing it up, and the arrival of the General Manager seems likely to put the kibosh on that.

Long: “Hold up… Hold up, fellas… This ain’t the streets and this ain’t the prison yard… this is Smackdown, and we’re gonna do this proper, belie’e dat! You two wanna throw down in the ring, I got noooo problem wi’ dat, but we gonna do it NEXT WEEK… (boos)… We gonna do it with a Smackdown referee making sure it goes down fair n’ square, ya hear me?… and we gonna do it… for the United States Title! Holla-holla-HOLLA!”

The fans come around and give the booked match a tepid cheer, but they’re still a little peeved they’re not going to see it tonight. Long backs away, making sure Luther follows suit. After they depart, Cena takes to the turnbuckles for some posing and more (sigh) belt-spinning, then leaves as well, mugging for the crowd and the camera the whole way up the ramp.

Overall: 67

John Cena lost overness

A HAPPY GIANT

The Smackdown opening video plays, and then we go backstage where Teddy Long has already returned to. Theodore Long strutted backstage in one of his oversized suits as he walked down a corridor. Suddenly he stopped and looked up at something that we couldn’t see. The camera panned to show the 7 Foot tall, 500 pound giant, Big Show standing before him with his arms crossed.

Long: What’s crackalackin’ big man? You know you’re just the man I wanted to see. Now peep this, I’ve been watching you the past couple of weeks and I noticed that you’ve got some beef with JBL. And I also noticed you saying that you wanted that belt he has. Since I’m a General Manager who’s all about equal opportunity I was wonderin’ how you feel about getting a WWE Title Match at the Royal Rumble?

The crowd pops for the proposal as the Big Show simply nods his head and smiles.

Long I thought you’d like that. But like I said before, I’m all about opportunity. That’s why three other men will be receiving the same opportunity as you right here tonight, ya feel me? Because it will be the Big Show versus Kurt Angle versus Booker T versus Eddie Guerrero in a Fatal 4-Way match in the main event tonight. And whoever the winner may be, that man will be named #1 Contender and face JBL for the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble. Holla, Holla, Holla!

The GM walks off as the crowd pops heavily for the announcement of tonight’s blockbuster main event. The camera focuses in on the face of very determined Big Show.

Overall: 65

Billy Kidman vs Shannon Moore (w/ Paul London)

Shannon Moore is the first man out to the ring for this match, which could have serious impact on the cruiserweight division whoever wins. Paul London, the former tag team partner of Billy Kidman accompanies Shannon Moore to the ring. London probably gets the biggest applause of the two, as similar to what Shannon did on Velocity, London spends more time interacting with the crowd during the entrance. Shannon Moore stands nervous in the ring, these two rookies both want to come out on top in this match, it's not just himself who he's fighting for.

Kidman's music hits up and a few boo's ruffle through the arena, once Kidman walks out through the entrance though they break into louder boos and jeers. Kidman taunts Paul London, but London doesn't react. This causes Kidman to walk right up to the face of Paul London. Kidman chews right in the face of London and starts to trash talk him, drawing up on his inexperience, calling him a "selfish young punk". Kidman spits his gum out in face of London, which causes the crowd to go into a pantomime style "ooooooh" reaction. London pushes Kidman, to which Kidman replies with a push of his own.

Sensing his friend is in danger Shannon Moore baseball slides out of the ring kicking Kidman in the upper chest knocking him to the floor. The crowd break into a cheer as Moore celebrates on the arena floor. He checks on London, who's lying back against the security barrier. This allows for Kidman to get back to his feet and attack Shannon Moore. Kidman rolls Moore back into the ring and the match gets underway. Shannon Moore offers his hand out to Kidman and London nods on the outside (Paul London wants to bring honour back to wrestling, no matter who he's fighting) Kidman however refuses the handshake and slaps Moore in the face.

The first few minutes are pretty much the regular cruiserweight exchange, some trips and restraining holds and plenty of flips and reversals. Kidman stands over the floored Shannon Moore wrenching away at his leg whilst standing on the thigh of Moore. Shannon Moore manages to swipe away the feet of Kidman with his free leg, knocking Kidman down onto his ass. Both men are quick to their feet where they lock up again. Kidman trips Shannon Moore after a quick go behind before synching on a side headlock. Shannon Moore has the eye of the tiger, the will of the fight and rises to the challenge of his rival's, as he is quick to his feet. Breaking free of the headlock Shannon pushes Kidman into the ropes, upon Kidman's return Moore connects with a wild spinning wheel kick. Moore though doesn't attempt the pin fall and instead climbs to the middle rope. Kidman gets to his feet, but stumbles down onto one knee. Moore dives off the middle rope, Mooregasm! Kidman though jumps backwards and Moore falls into a crumpled heap on the canvas.

No nonsense from Shannon Moore, trying to finish it early. Kidman pulls Shannon to his feet before slamming his head into the top turnbuckle pad. Kidman starts to boot away at the midsection of Shannon Moore as he slumps down in the corner. Kidman starts to choke out Shannon using his foot. The crowd and the referee show their displeasure to this method of offence as the referee pulls Kidman away from Shannon Moore, giving him a warning if he uses it again he'll have to DQ him.

Kidman tries to call the referees bluff and slowly moves his foot closer to Shannon's throat, but Shannon grabs Kidman's leg and trips him, causing Kidman to fall face first onto the top turnbuckle pad. Shannon Moore leaps to his feet and nails Kidman right between the eyes with a running forearm. Kidman drops to the mat and bails from the ring, receiving heat from the crowd. Kidman tries to rest on the outside, but keeps on looking over his shoulders to see where Paul London is. However, London is staying out of the match, only offering support to Shannon Moore. Moore darts towards the ropes and hits a suicide topé through the middle rope, flipping forward onto Kidman! Paul London leads the crowd in applauding the amazing move, applause that Shannon Moore gratefully laps up. Shannon Moore rolls Kidman back into the ring and makes his way to the top rope. Shannon comes crashing down with a flying elbow drop for the 1...2... kick out.

Shannon Moore pulls Kidman to his feet and starts up with some quick jabs, Kidman manages to duck a punch and takes Moore down with a backslide, Kidman uses the ropes for extra leverage! 1...2... Moore kicks out.

Kidman with a right hand blow to the gut of Moore. Kidman follows this with a gutwrench rib buster before finishing this combo with a spinning neckbreaker. 1...2... Moore kicks out.

Kidman gives Moore little respite as he blasts him with a soccer kick to the ribs as Moore tries to reach his feet. Kidman rakes the eyes of his opponent, which again garners attention from the referee who gives Kidman another warning. Kidman though now has a distinct advantage in the match and whips Moore into the turnbuckle. Kidman charges shoulder first into Moore, nearly breaking his body into two. Kidman drags Moore into the middle of the ring and drops a knee right across his throat. Kidman then runs off the ropes and jumps high in the air before coming down with powerful kneed drop, 1...2... Moore kicks out.

Kidman looks to be nearly ready to finish the match, he knows these covers aren't going to succeed, but they'll help drain the energy from his opponent. Kidman whips Moore off the ropes. Kidman flapjack's Moore high into the air, dropkick to the chest of Moore. Shannon falls into a ball on the mat, Kidman holds Moore's legs over his head with a bridge, 1...2... Moore gets his shoulder up.

Elbow to the face from Kidman, and it's followed by numerous blows to the back of Shannon Moore. London tries to rally the crowd behind Shannon Moore, but this doesn't seem to help Moore's cause. Kidman is looking for a vertical suplex. He stalls with Moore high in the air, allowing all the blood to flow to his head, Kidman falls back driving Moore to the canvas. Lateral press, 1...2... kick out again.

Kidman now looks ready to end the match, he body slams Moore down near the turnbuckle, right in position for the Shooting Star Press! Kidman makes his way up the turnbuckle, but before he can reach the top rope Shannon Moore is back to his feet. Shannon grabs Kidman and gives him a mega hiptoss all the way down to the ring. The tide has turned in Shannon Moore's favour. Moore walks over to Kidman and comes down on him with a snap legdrop for good measure, lateral press and a 1...2... Kidman kicks out.

Moore walks over towards one of the turnbuckle and stalks Kidman. He takes a long run up before giving Kidman a head scissor takedown. Kidman is quick to his feet but is dazed, schoolboy! 1...2... Kidman gets his shoulder up.

London slaps the ring apron in disbelief, he thought Shannon Moore had the victory. Moore quickly darts off the ropes, BK Bomb! Kidman takes out Moore. Kidman sets up Moore near the turnbuckle before climbing to the top rope. Shooting Star Press! Kidman keeps one leg tucked in as he lands down on Shannon Moore (international or not?). Once the move connects, you can tell something is wrong. Moore starts to scream in complete agony and struggles to find his breath. Kidman steps back from Moore and London tries to get into the ring to help his friend. Kidman points this out to the referee, the referee tries to stop London entering the ring.

This allows Kidman to boot away at the ribs of Shannon Moore to serious heat from the crowd. London tries to tell the referee that Moore's hurt and Kidman is continuing regardless, but the information doesn't sink into the referee and London has to drop off the apron, completely powerless to stop the match. Or is he? London starts to scrap around under the ring, he obviously doesn't want to interfere (As it goes against his belief of bringing honour back to wrestling). Kidman comes back off the ropes and leaps in the air before coming down with a double footed stomp on Shannon Moore, who looks to be in even more pain now.

Kidman climbs up to the top rope, looking for another Shooting Star Press, this is just sick. London pops his head up from under the ring just at the right time and throws a white towel into the ring. The referee calls for the bell and London slides straight into the ring. The referee signals for the medical staff to come to the ring (He even uses the "X" symbol!!!), they soon come darting to the ring wielding a stretcher. London looks up to see Billy Kidman still standing on the top rope. Now the match is over London has no hesitations on attacking him. London makes a dash for the turnbuckle but Kidman just drops down onto the apron and to the arena floor. London stares straight through Kidman, but unfazed, Kidman walks away laughing.

WINNER: Billy Kidman

Overall: 73

Crowd: 54

Match: 92

***1/4

Every Man for Himself

Cameras take us to a locker room where Eddie Guerrero is seen lacing up his boots for his big match later on tonight. As he does this one of the other competitors involved in the match Booker T enters the picture and takes a seat next to Eddie. The two men have been having a lot of success as a tag team as of late on SmackDown.

Booker: Yo, what up man?

Eddie: Whassup? Whassup, is that I got a big match tonight holmes! We got a big match tonight!

Booker: I know I got a big match tonight and you got a big match tonight but there ain’t no we tonight. This ain’t no tag match. It’s a match for a shot at the WWE Championship. Can you dig that?

Guerrero get’s heated because of Booker T’s comments.

Eddie: Hola le vato! I can dig that! You don’t think I want the WWE Title back holmes? Of course I do! It’s been eating me up inside ever since I lost it essa! I want to get that title back more than anyone! I even made a New Year’s Resolution to win that title back from JBL!

Booker T begins to laugh and smile much to the confusion of an angry Latino Heat.

Booker: Heh, heh, heh. Calm down man, I’m just playin’ with you dawg. You oughta know me well enough by now to know when I’m just messin’ around. You’re my homeboy.

Eddie had a shifty look in his eyes before starting to laugh along with Booker T. They shook hands and embraced.

Eddie: Yeah we’re homeboys.

Booker: But just remember one thing. I’m gonna do what I have to do to win tonight. It’s Armageddon all over again. There ain’t no Booker T and Eddie Guerrero. There’s Booker T and there’s Eddie Guerrero. Not as partners but as opponents. It’s every man for himself out there tonight!

Eddie: You’re right essa, It is every man for himself and that means I’m gonna be lyin’, cheatin’, and stealin’ tonight. Even if it’s against you.

Booker T’s eye’s bugged out as he was in shock of Eddie’s gameplan. He simply said…

Booker: It’s like that then.

…And walked out of the locker room as Guerrero watched with a serious face.

Overall: 82

Headhunter

We cut backstage, where Al Snow has just opened the door from the parking area. He holds it open and taps his foot impatiently.

Snow : “Come on, Puder. We haven’t got all night.”

Tough Enough winner Daniel Puder comes through the doorway hefting a bunch of luggage. He sets them down with a huff then doubles over, gasping for breath.

Puder : “What did you pack, bricks of lead? I don’t even get why we’re here tonight. It’s not like either of us have a match.”

Snow : “No, not yet, but you can’t just assume you won’t. Things happen fast on Smackdown. Cards change, matches change, opportunity knocks, and you have to be ready to answer. So, take your bags and hit the showers. I want you dressed and ready to go in ten.”

Puder : “Minutes?”

Snow : “Yeah, minutes! Get going. Time’s a-wasting.”

Puder shakes his head and takes the smallest of the bags off camera. Snow looks after and also shakes his head, clearly unsure. Suddenly, a shadow falls over Snow, and we pan as he turns to find Heidenreich looming over him.

Heidenreich : “I’m looking for Head.”

Snow : “Aren’t we all? Look, I dropped that gimmick ages ago.” He looks around. “Where’s Paul?”

Heidenreich : “He set me free! Now I need answers! Now I need guidance! Now I need Head!”

Snow : “Are you kidding me? You don’t need… Look. Just go sit down and…”

Heidenreich : “The voices! How do you stop the voices?! They tell me things… Ask me things… I try to let them out… I try to set them FREE!!! With my poetry… I try to get the voices out… but they… they keep coming back in… I can’t stop them… I can’t ignore them…”

Snow : “Listen, I know what you’re…”

Heidenreich : “You CAN’T know! You CAN’T hear them… but I can hear them… I can’t NOT hear them… and you know what they’re saying now?!”

Snow looks around, a bit nervous, as Heidenreich hyperventilates and practically foams at the mouth.

Snow : “Uh, no.”

Heidenreich : “They’re saying… please… don’t…” and Heidenreich just lashes out with a gloved fist, knocking Snow into the big metal bay door with a crash. He fires off some knees as he roars with rage, then grabs Al by the hair and waistband of his jeans and runs him face-first into the steel. He unloads more clubbing forearms, then drags Al by the back of the neck and launches him ass over elbows into the ubiquitous clangy pipes, which were just leaning against the wall, waiting to get knocked over. Heidenreich lays some boots into Al and bellows before stomping off, huffing and puffing.

After a short pause, long enough to watch Snow writhe and sputter amid the wreckage, Daniel Puder comes sauntering over from off-screen, dressed in his wrestling trunks, pads, and boots. He leans down and shakes his head.

Puder : “Al? Al, are you all right? Wow… Hey! Somebody get some help over here!”

Overall: 70

A Hero's Welcome?

The Heavyweight Champion of the Smackdown brand, John Bradshaw Layfield is accompanied by Orlando Jordan. The two men stand in the ring as JBL takes the microphone.

JBL : "As most you may already know. Last week the World Wrestling Entertainment went to Iraq to meet and greet the troops who are putting their life on the line, to help me feel safe in this time of turmoil in the world. As the World Heavyweight Champion of the Smackdown brand, I am the figurehead of the company. So it was my duty to be a representative of the company on the trip to Iraq. Roll the footage."

**A 30 second or so video rolls focussing entirely around JBL meeting the troops in Iraq**

JBL : "As I'm sure you'll all agree, that was very charitable of me. Whether I was caught up in the season or not, it doesn't matter, when respect is due I will be the first to give it (**He looks over to Orlando Jordan who's nodding the last comment**). Not only are there troops serving out in Iraq, there are also troops back here home for many reasons. And I would like give them the respect that they deserve. So are there any troops in the arena tonight?"

One man who's in the first row lifts his hand into the air. Orlando Jordan drops out of the ring and gets the security to let the man over into the ring. Upon close inspection it can be seen that the "soldier" is none other than former ECW wrestler (I use the term loosely) Chilly Willy, who did actually serve out in Iraq.

JBL : "What's your name soldier?"

Man : "Will'um Jones"

JBL : "I would like to salute you William Jones for all of the work you are currently doing out in Iraq. Helping to stabilise our American economy and helping to protect the lives of people like myself. I salute you for all the bravery that you have shown, going out there in the frontline everyday fighting for your country. As apposed to sitting at home, selfishly getting all the praise of being a soldier, whilst real heroes go out and fight the battles you should be fighting. You deserve no respect, and that's what I'm going to give you. You are a soldier, you should be out fighting, not sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself, claiming all the reward. And that medal (**pointing to Jones' purple heart? Is that the one he got? I really should research this but I'm doing it quickly**). What was that for? Bravery? Being shot? Come on, I thought that thing comes naturally to people like you. (**Jones now looks horrified and looks across at Orlando Jordan, who just stands in agreement of JBL, this angers William Jones who had previously been sheepish**) However you insist to walk around here, with the medal on show as if to say, "Look at me I'm brave, I'm representing the United States of America, fighting the war on terrorism". Well why don't you go out and fight it then. You should be liberating the likes of me from a situation of panic and anarchy, you should be willing to put your life on the line everyday to make the lives of others more bearable, however you do not do this. You are UNPATRIOTIC!!!"

BAM!!! Jones plants a sucker punch to the face of JBL and actually floors the Heavyweight Champion! He's heard enough, as have the crowd who erupt into a blaze of applause. JBL is quick to his feet and engages in a staring contest with William Jones. Orlando Jordan takes the opportunity to deck William Jones from behind with a running clothesline. Jordan starts up stomping away at the head of William Jones as JBL looks on. The Smackdown GM, Theodore Long comes out onto the stage.

Long : "Stop, Stop, Stop. God'damnit stop you crazy fools. Mr Lay-field, you betta get your head out'ya Republican ass before I take that gold away from around yor waist, foo. And mister OJ, unlike Simpson they aint no way gettin' away from yor crime. Due to you, thinking it yor best interest to lay yor hands on a innocent member of this public, yu will find yoself on de receiving end of a indefinite suspension, from now. (**Orlando and JBL go crazy in the ring**) Oh, yu betta beleedat. And JBL, yu be thankful yu didn't touch this bruva or yor days as "figga-head" of this company would be over. You two, leave, go, go."

JBL and Orlando Jordan leave as security come down the ramp to escort Orlando Jordan from the building. Theodore Long gets into the ring and talks to William Jones who's now kneeling. Lip-readers will be able to see Long trying to plead with William Jones not to press charges, offering anything he wants in return, not to talk to the police. To which Jones can be made out mouthing "Fuck the Police" (how many black stereotypes can WWE throw on our telly, lets see if we can beat it, next week on Smackdown).

Overall: 65

William Jones Gained Overness

Orlando Jordan Gained Overness

Corrupt General Manager?

Kurt Angle was seen walking down a corridor backstage in his ring gear and he found the door to the GM’s office. He looked angry and barged right in to find Mr. Long sitting at his desk looking over some papers.

Angle: What the hell do you think you’re doing Teddy? Putting me in a Fatal 4-Way #1 Contender’s Match?

Long: First up playa you address me as Mr. Long, ya feel me? And what’s the matter, you don’t want to face JBL at the Rumble?

Angle: I think you misunderstood me Mister Long. I do want to face JBL for the title. Oh it’s true. What I have a problem with is you putting me into a match with three of the most unworthy contenders on SmackDown. I mean c’mon, when’s the last time Big Show main evented a Pay Per View? And Booker T, pff, Booker T’s never even been the champion. Sure he’s the 5-Time WCW Champ but, you know. Then you’ve got Eddie Guerrero, a man who lied, cheated, and stole more than anyone else in history to win the title. And you actually believe that these three punks are deserving of being in a #1 Contender’s match with me? You should be ashamed of yourself. Let me remind you that I won gold medal with a broken freakin’ neck. I am a former 3-time WWE Champion. And I was a helluva lot better General Manager than you ever were. That’s damn true!

The crowd ooh’d at the last statement as Theodore Long rises up from his seat. He takes off his glasses and clears his throat letting everyone know that he means business.

Long: Now listen up. You don’t like the way I do my job, well that’s fine. You’re entitled to your opinion. But when you barge into my office and start making hollerin’ like you own the place, then you cross the line. And for you to actually say that you were a better GM than I am and I should be ashamed of myself. Just who in the hell do you think you are? I put you in a match where if you win you get your title shot at JBL at the Royal Rumble. But now as a result of the thins that you just said to me I’ve added another stipulation. If you don’t win this match tonight then you will be the #1 entrant into the 30-Man Royal Rumble match. And you betta belee dat, cuz it’s damn true playa. Now get to steppin’

Angle begins to walk out outraged at the stipulation that was just added but before he leaves stops and turns around.

Angle: You know, maybe JBL was right about you a couple weeks ago. I think you are corrupt.

With that Angle walks out as the camera pans back to Long and zooms in on his face before going to commercial.

Overall: 94

This Isn't The Little Boys Room

We cut backstage, where Rey Mysterio is putting on his gloves in preparation for his match. Hardcore Holly saunters up, a towel over his shoulders, hands on his hips, and a big goofy grin on his mug.

Holly: This here’s the grown-ups’ locker room, Junior. Care to explain why you’re in my way?

Mysterio (without looking at Holly): Because I’ve got something tonight you don’t, Hardcore… a match. But it’s no problem, Ese. I was just leaving.

Mysterio slams his locker door shut and turns to head out, but Holly hooks his arm and spins him back around. He looks down at the WWE Tag Team Title wrapped around Rey’s waist and then up to his green contacts. He offers a handshake. Mysterio flexes his gloved fingers, then tentatively takes it.

Holly: Rey… Good luck.

Mysterio: Uh, thanks.

Mysterio backs away and leaves. Hardcore simply stares after him. He takes the towel from around his neck and wipes his hand on it as if he’s touched something unpleasant.

Overall: 76

Charlie Haas vs. Rey Mysterio (1/2 WWE Tag Team Champions)

Charlie comes to the ring scowling. I guess being sans-bitch really hasn’t done as much for his spirits as he’d like us to believe. He stretches in the ring, all focus and concentration.

Rey gets farted out onto the stage and dances around for a bit to his theme song before sprinting down the ramp. He slides into the ring and takes to the turnbuckles for cheap pops, leaving himself open for the ambush of forearms to the small of the back from Haas.

As the bell rings, Haas eventually drives Rey down into the corner with clubbing forearms to the back, neck, and shoulders. He whips him across and to the far corner, but Rey nimbly hops up onto the middle ropes and leapfrogs backwards over the incoming Charlie Haas, who slams chest-first into the turnbuckles.

Rey hooks up a schoolboy for a quick 1… 2… but Charlie rolls back and to his feet. Rey ducks a telegraphed clothesline, but Charlie puts on the brakes this time before running headlong into the turnbuckles. He turns right into a huracanrana. Rey hooks a leg for 1… 2… but Charlie kicks out and decides to take a powder out on the floor to regroup.

Rey-Rey begins running in place, getting the crowd worked up. He runs to the far ropes, bounces off, and springboards off the ropes for a high cross body to the outside, but Charlie instinctively catches him and presses him overhead. Haas drops Rey face-first into the barricade and then lays the boots into him.

He pulls Rey up by the arm and tries whipping him into the steel ring steps, but Rey reverses into a drop toe hold that sends Charlie crashing into them, continuing to make him look like a total boob. But, that seems to be Rey’s schtick these days against bigger opponents, so meh.

Rey slides into the ring to break the double count-out and plays to the crowd a bit. He sees Charlie staggering around ringside and tries to take advantage. He hits the ropes and comes off looking for a baseball slide, but Charlie sidesteps it and hooks his ankle to jerk him out and onto the floor. Charlie tries to stomp Rey under the barricade, then rolls Rey back in the ring and follows to break the count.

Charlie kneels on Rey’s shoulder and bars the arm, trying to rip it out of the socket. Rey throws his other gloved hand into the air, rallying some support from the crowd. He fights his way to one knee, then a crouch, firing off a few elbows to Charlie’s ribs. Charlie tucks his head under the arm he’s been working and drops Rey in a back suplex. He reaches back and hooks a leg for 1… 2… Rey shoots his shoulder up.

Charlie goes back to the stomps, concentrating on the shoulder. Rey uses the ropes to pull himself up, so Charlie pushes him against them and whips him across. Rey hops up onto the middle ropes and goes for a springboard moonsault, but Charlie catches him on his shoulder and drops him neck-first onto the top rope, then catches him on the bounce in a rear waistlock. Charlie pops his hips and throws Rey overhead in a release German suplex.

More stomping from Charlie on the mat as Rey clutches his neck in pain. Charlie goes for a blatant choke, breaking on the count of four before going back to it. On the second count of four, Referee Brian Hebner enforces the break by pulling Charlie away.

As Rey writhes on the mat, gasping for breath, Hebner reads Haas the riot act, giving him a stern warning for his actions. Haas nods his reluctant assent, then marches over to straddle Rey, reaching down to hook up a camel clutch. Rey scoots backwards under him, however, and hits a desperation dropkick that knocks Haas stumbling headlong through the ropes and to the outside. As Rey lies prone on the canvas, holding his neck again and kicking one leg, we go to commercials.

Back, and during the break, Charlie tried to pull Rey up by the arm only to get snared in a small package that got two and then run into an arm drag that led to the hammerlock that Rey’s got locked in, kneeling on Charlie’s back to keep him on the mat.

Of course, the break over, it’s Charlie’s cue to start powering out. He gets back to a vertical base and spins out of the hammerlock and into a waistlock. He lifts, looking for a northern lights suplex, perhaps, but Rey kicks furiously until pulling Haas the other way, into a DDT. Rey runs to the ropes and springboards off the middle rope and spins for a leg drop across the back of the head. He rolls Charlie over and covers for 1… 2… Charlie kicks out strong, shrugging Rey aside.

Charlie takes a wild swing at Rey, who ducks it and hits a dropkick to the back to knock Charlie into the ropes, in that most precarious of positions, the set up for the 6-1-9. Rey plays to the crowd, then runs the ropes to nail it, but Charlie pushes back, leaving Rey to whiff. He snares a rear waistlock and hits another release German suplex, but this one sends Rey flying into Referee Brian Hebner, and the two men tumble to the canvas.

Haas leans back against the ropes, huffing and puffing and massaging his sore arm. Hardcore Holly stomps to the ring amid a chorus of jeers. He doesn’t stop at the foot of the ramp, and instead heads directly for the announce position, where Michael Cole barrages him with questions as to his intentions. Holly answers them with his actions, unseating Tony Chimel and folding up the steel chair. He passes it up to Haas and motions for him to lay into Mysterio.

Charlie doesn’t need much in the way of encouragement, and measures Rey as he gets to a crouch. A trio of blistering chair shots lay Mysterio out. Charlie disposes of the chair and rouses the ref. Charlie locks in The Haas of Pain and demands that Hebner “Ask him! Ask him!” Rey is hanging limp, so Hebner lifts the arm once… It drops… Twice… It drops again… Thrice… That’s it. He calls for the bell.

Charlie dumps Rey and throws his hands up for heat as Holly climbs into the ring to rais his hand and pat him on the back. Suddenly, jeers turn to cheers as Rob Van Dam sprints down the ramp. He picks up the discarded chair on the way and slides into the ring, scattering the heels. RVD tries futilely to explain the finish to Hebner, then gives up and tosses the chair aside to check on his partner. Meanwhile, Haas and Holly are backing up the ramp, satisfied with their handiwork.

Winner: Charlie Haas

Overall: 77

Crowd: 72

Match: 82

***

Charlie Haas gained overness.

Fatal 4-Way #1 Contender’s Match

Booker T vs. Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Big Show

Booker T made his way out for the main event, followed by Eddie Guerrero, Kurt Angle, and Big Show in that order. As Show was walking down the aisle Kurt attacked Guerrero to jump start the match and Booker T instinctively went to help Eddie. Guerrero and Book double-teamed Angle as the monster entered the ring. He approached his three opponents looking to attack but paused. He looked at the crowd and backed off smiling. He leaned back into a corner of the ring and watched as the other three battled. Show pointed to his head to let everyone know that he’s no dummy. Suddenly Guerrero stopped and looked at him. Eddie tapped Booker, they looked at each other, then Show, then back at each other and smiled. They then helped up Kurt who looked at them cautiously.

The three plotted in the corner as Show watched on in anticipation of what they would do. Angle, Guerrero, & Booker surrounded him. Show did his best to not let one of them slip out of view. Guerrero was the first to strike and got clobbered by a forearm shot to the back. Booker attacked and was grabbed by the throat. Then Angle went after the unsuspecting Show and successfully broke the chokehold. Booker and Angle double teamed the giant as Eddie got back to his feet to make it 3-on-1. The three men continued with their strategy and got the big man down to one knee. They were giving him double axe handles reminiscent of those that Demolition used to give to Andre the Giant. Out of nowhere the giant exploded and shoved Booker T and Eddie Guerrero across the ring.

Kurt Angle was backing up in awe of the Big Show and attempted a right hand. It was blocked but he then hit a thumb to the eye. Angle whipped Show but it was reversed and Angle walked right into a chokehold. Show hoisted Angle into the air and was about to deliver a chokeslam when Guerrero made the save. Guerrero paired off with Show while Angle went after Booker T and two separate bouts were going on at once. Big Show dropped Eddie with a headbutt then went after Booker and Angle. They both came at him with a double clothesline attempt but Show overpowered them both and clotheselined them over the top rope and to the floor. He turned around to catch Eddie leap off the top rope with a double axe handle and caught him mid-air. Show used his strength to hoist Eddie above his head and gorilla press slam him over the ropes into the arms of Booker and Angle as the show went to break.

As we returned from break Kurt Angle had Eddie Guerrero in a camel clutch while Booker T was on the second rope punching away at Big Show. Show grabbed Book with both his arms and held him a few seconds before dropping him to the canvas. Then he grabbed Angle and threw him out of the ring. Show then grabbed a worn down Eddie and lifted him off the mat and to the air by the throat! Booker T thought about helping but stood back and let Show connect with the Chokeslam on Guerrero. Then out of nowhere Book came off the ropes with a Scissors Kick to the back of Big Show’s head. He made a cover on Show but got a two count only.

Then he slammed the mat in frustration and looked at Eddie. Book crawled over and covered him for a ONE-TWO-when Booker was pulled off by Kurt Angle.

Angle whipped Booker off of the ropes but Booker ducked a clothesline and applied a sleeperhold. Show and Eddie were getting to their feet as Booker wrenched in the sleeper on the Olympic champion. Angle thought fast and swung his leg backward to give a low blow to Booker and escape the hold. Then he scooped him up on his shoulders and delivered an Angle Slam! As he had him in the air Booker T’s foot caught Eddie in the back of the head. Angle then made a pinfall attempt, 1-2-Frog Splash off the top rope to breakup the pin but Angle moved out of the way and Booker took the splash by mistake. Eddie still hooked his leg for 1-2-AND-2 only!

Angle broke up the pin by pulling of Guerrero by his ankle and then applying the Angle Lock! Eddie was in great agony and reaching for the ropes. He made it to them but was pulled back by Angle. Guerrero looked to be about to tap when Big Show grabbed Angle by his neck. He dragged him to the middle of the ring and delivered a thunderous Chokeslam. Eddie was holding his ankle in one corner while Booker was holding his gut in the other. Show pinned Angle for the ONE-TWO-AND-THREE!

Show got back to his feet and posed with his arm in the air as he roared in celebration of his win. Cameras focused separately on Eddie holding his ankle, Booker holding his gut, and Angle flat on his back before going back to the Big Show as the show went off the air.

Winner, and Facing JBL at the Royal Rumble: Big Show

Overall: 88

Crowd: 91

Match: 82

***1/4

Show Rating: 74

Segments 1, 5, 8, and 9 were written by TheRaySays

Segments 2, 4, 7, and 10 were written by Franchise

Segments 3 and 6 were written by Yi.

Edited by Essa
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SMACKDOWN SUPERSTAR SERIOUSLY INJURED AT TAPING

Following the confrontation between Bradshaw, and William Jones, an impromptu match between Jones and Doug Basham. During this match, Jones accidentally dropped Doug Basham right on the top of his head with a DDT. Basham tried to take it 'dangerous' style to put the newcomer over, but this resulted in Basham breaking his neck. The match was completely edited out of Smackdown. Basham is expected to miss at least eight months of action, and will in all likelihood never step foot in the ring, in a wrestling capacity, again.

OOC: Diego dropped out. Anybody want to take over for him?

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