Farmer Reil

A guy in an orange helmet nearly ended someone's career (</hyperbole >) and it wasn't Vontaze Burfict? In all seriousness though, that's one those "that's football" tackles where nobody likes it but we've come to accept that people are going to be that stupid whether we allow it or not. I tore my ACL just watching that. There's a huuuge difference between "going low" and "smashing your shoulder directly into the knee of the ball carrier's supporting leg". In fucking pre-season no less. Guy's trying to make a name for himself and make the team, I get it, but you don't want to be known as "the guy that killed OBJ". That's the wrong kind of name to be making. Not saying it was dirty, or that there was any malice intended at all, and I do agree that if it wasn't a top tier WR we wouldn't be talking about it as much, but it was a fucking awful tackle.

Eh, they play the Bills twice a year. And this year they have the Chargers at Christmas, by then Phil Rivers will be throwing to the motorised training dummy being remote controlled by Ken Whisenhunt as the Chargers look longingly at the Bills' depth at wideout.

0:30 - GladOS wasn't in Star Wars

Even more importantly, they're playing in London the day after my birthday.

Stream of Conciousness by Dream Theatre. Captain Morgan's Revenge by Alestorm. Ticks and Leaches by Tool. La Villa Strangiato by Rush. Failing that, just find a way to become Felix Bohnke. Most underrated drummer in history, and he has a perfectly suited name to his profession.

Avantasia - Angel of Babylon You turn off the light, you won't make a difference, We have roamed the plains a million years, Day after day I see her smile, if you could see her through my eyes, Living in the darkness, what a cold and lonely night. There'll be fireworks tonight, everybody's on their knees, All of a tremble, you can feel the poison arrows have left their mark, I sold my soul for diamonds, and reason for acclaim, Yes in the darkness of the night I know there's someone near me. I've been walking down this road with a suitcase full of dreams, Hey Redeemer, now what's become of me? A lonely boy, a handful of dreams, Cold wind blows through a heart wired-in. I quite like that, actually. The first verse is pretty good. Makes about as much sense as any other power metal song since 1995 ¬_¬ Second verse is alright. Last verse I had to cheat and use the first two lines from the last song so there were four lines, but it's pretty good too. Well done, Tobi. You can also write songs that play well with random EWB games. ¬_¬ Sam Totman, on the other hand... Dragonforce - Sonic Firestorm Life is a misery, don't know how it's come to be, We are riding for the battlefield in force tonight, Can you feel the pain inside, sometimes in my mind? In the darkness of the night, in the shadows of the dawn. On wings of burning fire, across the oceans far, Burning fires, burning lives on the distant roads, I hear a distant thunder, they say 'bow down, surrender'. Dark clouds and thunderstorms, in the fire and flames were born. Since the darkness took our minds... ... well that's still better than anything on the new album. Sorry, I should Totmanise that last sentence. That's fire still thunder better burning than anything fire on the flames last firethunderflames album.

A few select questions I was too late to answer: Scariest VG moment: the Hallowbrook Hotel level in Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines. The graphics are pretty shoddy by modern standards, it was all fairly standard "haunted house" fare for the most part, but for some reason most of it scared the shit out of me. Favourite Protagonist: Duke Nukem Oldest game I own: Probably Transport Tycoon. No, Elite actually. Fucking hell, Elite was a masterpiece. I watched a documentary about the making of it the other day and now I hold it in even higher esteem. But Transport Tycoon is the oldest game I can still play, due to not owning a Commodore 64 anymore. Worst game: Fade To Black. It was fucking terrible. Shit story (it was basically the same story as the movie version of Doom (well, the start was. I didn't get far enough in before throwing it away. Literally, I put it in the bin IIRC), but with terrible graphics and it was released in 1998 I think, for the PSOne). Most hated character: Logain from Dragon Age: Origins. I can think of plenty of "cool heels" in video games, and quasi-generic satan/devil stand-ins. But I can't think of a fully developed character who's more than just a template Lord of Destruction, who I genuinely hated while playing the game more than Logain. He's an absolute bastard. As for the actual question: Best single player experience? That'd have to be from Deus Ex, the bit where the NSF have just turned on you, and you're at the top of a huge building (can't remember the specifics, it was a long time ago). You've basically got to run all the way back down the building, fighting as little as possible because it's not a fighting game so you don't have much health, you're just running like hell and trying to kill as many NSF soldiers as you can along the way. Then when you get to the bottom you have to make a break for it along a street and to a hideaway somewhere. When I got there I was fucking knackered, it was intense. I remember having to take my headphones off and have a breather, thinking "Christ that was awesome!". What's your favourite game that introduces a unique gameplay element/feature/new piece of technology/gaming mechanic/idea, and executes it, in your opinion, to perfection? I know what most people will say here, and 99% of all answers will come from somewhere in the Orange Box I'm sure, but my favourite is definitely in Prey. The use of portals and gravity manipulation in that game is incredible. There are so many awesome ideas, and fantastic things they do and ways in which they do it. The Spiritwalk thing is kinda meh and has been done before, but the portals and gravity and wall-walk stuff is immense. Bear in mind it came out over a year before Portal... I love that game to bits.

Shaven-headed guy is called Jamie, and he reminds me of someone, but I can't think who at the moment. He definitely seems the least likely to make a horrendous cock-up. So far, the standouts for the top four are: Stella (who was fucking stellar this week, there's not really any other word for it, puns be damned). Jamie. Baggs The Brand. and as much as I hate to say it, Melissa the dyke. I really hope she turns out to be a failblazer, but every time I see her in action I think of Ruth Badger (who really, REALLY should've won her series instead of that stupid greasy Irish bitch). And not just because she's fuck ugly. ¬_¬ The only reason I'm worried about that top four is that one of the "you're fired" clips shown before the show starts says "You've talked yourself out of this, you're fired!"... and I can't see anyone other than The Brand doing that. And next week it's Reil's speciality task. ¬_¬ For some odd reason, I see Alex being quite good at it. Although the "We're not making croissants!" "... we are now!" exchange has me worried (the latter voice was Jamie's, too, if I recall. Uh-oh).

Rikimaru dies in Tenchu I (II is a prequel and he's resurrected for III). Lynch, from Kane and Lynch? Ok, so in the cannon ending he actually survives (still gets shot, though...), there's an alternate ending where he dies. The main character from Saint's Row more than likely dies although you don't actually see it. Chrono from Chrono Trigger dies, although you can use shenanigans as the other party members to reverse it after the fact. He does die, though. Kain dies in Blood Omen, in one of two possible endings. If we're including branching RPGs with several options, Alistair can die in Dragon Age, as can the player. Lots of characters die in these sorts of RPGs, but Alistair is a pretty major character. Technically, the main character from Doom dies. Really early on. ¬_¬ James from Silent Hill 2, in one of the endings. Come to think of it, a massive fucking wall falls on you at the end of Neverwinter Nights 2, which was a shit game anyway. So Generic Player Character from that game presumably dies. Technically speaking, the player character in Diablo, too.

Ooops... Ooops... Ooops! Yeah, so, erm... annoying dyke is unsalvageable now. Comfortability? Really? Chris, for such a posh bloke, is a terrible public speaker, and the girls team was basically a shambles. Sigh... Alex was suitably hilariously bad this week too. "What about Cuuli? With those dots you have in Swedish over the i's. So it looks like smiley faces". Epic fail. There's still hope, though. The Brand is still there.

Bahahahaha, best photo-only response to a question in... some amount of time. Anyway, yeah, The Brand is definitely my favourite so far. He's such a smart-mouthed little cunt, he's basically a posh white Tre. He's so much Tre I was expecting Dan to snap at any moment and keep screaming "I *AM* YOUR BOSS! I AM YOUR BOSS!". Definitely glad Rory/Dan went though, he was a massive tit. The fat, camp guy will be gone next. He's such a massive hanger-on/whiner/passenger/useless bastard, being a "lovely guy" isn't going to save him. The guy with the impossibly Oxford University accent who looks a bit like Alex from two years ago seems decent enough. Raleigh has the most pretentious name ever (and can't even say it right), so he's gone. I actually quite liked the annoying dyke. She seemed to have a bit of Ruth Badger in her. For all of twenty seconds or so, before she blatantly pussied out of being project manager after hyping herself to OVER 9000 for ages. Then she started ranting at Joanne (who seems to be the least useless out of control project manager ever... that could've gone horribly wrong, but unlike every other time this happens, it didn't) and basically tried to take over the task. At least this year's contestants all seem mildly capable, except Alex. Other than him, none of them stick out as "how the fuck did you even get past the first interview", like most of them (usually girls) usually do. Though to be fair, we didn't get to see a lot of the girls, because most of them were being boring and getting on with it which doesn't make good TV.