We Built This Forum (On Our Diaries)

[TheRaySays]

FuhfufhfuhFEEEDBACK... On the attack!

Or something.

A double heel turn AND new World Tag Team Champions on free TV?! Wow. Guess Scott's starting on his roid-rage a little early. Still, this sets up a nice rematch for The Clash.

By contrast, Doc Death keeps his face-ness by shaking hands with the great former NWA World Champion and unsung hero, Tommy Rich. I see great things in the future for this kid. :thumbsup:

Count me in as "B-arking out" for Buzz. It's good to see him moving up from jobber joke to decent midcard talent. He definitely adds a strange element to the J-Tex group. He's Mark Lewin to Muta's Kabuki if we're going to use old school World Class Gary Hart stable analogies. Oh, we're not? Darn.

The Horsemen Summit was G-R-R-R-R-EAT, to steal an expression from Sting and Tony the Tiger. Old shouting Sting >>>> Silent Crow Sting.

What's up with the crowd for J-Y-D?! Must be Rip Rogers fault. Dancing Dog = Ratings!

Woman's having a real clearance sale! Could a reunion with Rick Steiner be in order? Peanut Head's comments are LOL. Now that it's Doom Simmons and Doom Reed, will they be called The DoomS from now on? Doesn't the Law of Conservation of Faces and Heels demand that The Dooms turn face now that The Steiners are heel? Am I starting to sound too much like Larry King?

Sabretooth joining J-Tex is awesome, and I KNEW you were going to continue the Sting situation. I knewz it!

Awesome stuff. I liked this show a lot, and we're really starting to get the groundwork for your first round of storylines. Thanks a bunch!

[Miami Vice]

TGC, let's talk about your last show.

The bottom line is even with workers who stink, characters I don't enjoy and the most annoying manager, IMO, in NWA/WCW history you've managed to make me enjoy WCW a lot.

The reason your shows have been so enjoyable is because the booking if fantastic, the writing is excellent and the angles are intriguing. I know how you don't like to get positive feedback all the time from the same people but I simply haven’t found anything about your last show I didn't like. Even the JYD match was entertaining!

Fact of the matter is you've done a great job so far with me unable to wait to find out what the deal is with Sting and The Horsemen.

And JHS, I haven’t been posting feedback for your show because I don't want to read them. Your WCW diary is so great I simply can't bring myself to read any of your work either then it. Don't take offence, that was a compliment.

[Your Mom]

WWF Superstars January 7th 1990

Vince McMahon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura are your announce team with Lord Alfred Hayes in the studio

Akeem with Slick vs. Tim Horner

Superstars begins with the opening portion of “Jive soul bro” blasting through the arena. Slick and Akeem groove their way down to the ring as the fans boo. Tim Horner does some stretching in the ring in hopes that this will somehow give him the superhuman strength to compete against the massive “African” superstar.

McMahon: Well Jesse we start off WWF Superstars this week with a man who I would have to call a favorite in the Royal Rumble the massive Akeem.

Ventura: He is going to be hard to throw out that’s for sure.

Akeem climbs into the ring and Horner is full of gusto and attacks! Horner fires off a dozen of his finest punches, but they all bounce off of Akeem’s stomach having absolutely no effect. Akeem laughs and clubs his opponent down with one huge forearm. Akeem does a little dance and then drops a huge elbow on Horner. Slick cheers from the outside as the big man does his thing.

Ventura: Look at the Big Dream throwing his weight around in there McMahon.

McMahon: He is an imposing figure in that ring Jesse Ventura.

Akeem takes his time with Horner being sure to show the crowd just how African he is with his funky arm dancing after every move. After around five minutes or so he ends Horner’s pain by squashing him in the corner with an avalanche and then sending him over with a belly to belly suplex for the pin 1…2…3!

McMahon: Akeem shows domination going into the Royal Rumble. A force to be reckoned with indeed.

Ventura: Akeem and The Slickster dancing their way to another victory!

Rating: 59/52/66

Alfred takes a moment to speak on the massive girth of Akeem and how men of his size and stature will be sure to rule this year. He runs down the Jake Roberts/Million Dollar Man situation from yesterday and then throws it to our next match.

Jake Roberts vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

In the ring Iron Mike Sharpe has his name announced and lifts his hands high in the air to a round of boos from the crowd. Jake the Snake’s music begins playing and the mood quickly changes as Jake enters the arena and casts a cold gaze towards his opponent. But before Jake and his snake can make it to the ring Virgil attacks from behind! Virgil hits a series of forearms causing Jake to drop his bag. Virgil jumps on his back and begins choking away. Jake stumbles, but manages to flip Virgil over his head and down to the floor. Virgil back away begging for mercy and from the look in Jake’s eyes it’s obvious he will get none.

McMahon: JAKE LOOK OUT!

From behind comes Ted Dibiase with a STEEL CHAIR! He hits Roberts right in the back and knocks him down to the ground. Jake is unable to defend himself as Dibiase laughs and drops the chair.

McMahon: What a despicable display! Explain this to me Jesse Ventura. You can’t!

Dibiase has Virgil hand him a hundred and he makes a big deal of showing it to the crowd before sticking it in the top of Jake’s tights and retreating to the back.

Ventura: Ha Ha! Well worth the C-Note eh McMahon?

McMahon: Ted Dibiase has cost us a match with this heinous attack! Someone in the back catch up to him and see how he justifies this.

Rating: 59/52/66

Back in the studio Alfred informs us that someone did indeed catch up to Dibiase and throws it to that interview.

Worth every last dollar

Dibiase and Virgil are in the parking lot. Virgil is carrying some bags as they quickly head towards their car. Gene Okerlund is in hot pursuit and calls out to them.

Gene: Million Dollar Man! Virgil! Hold up for just a minute. (they stop) Now… Now…

Gene has to pause to catch his breath.

Dibiase: Come on little man. Time is money.

Gene: You didn’t seem to care about the money earlier when you stuffed that Franklin in Jake Roberts’ tights.

Dibiase: I believe in paying for entertainment Gene and that most certainly entertained me HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Gene: Please! Mr. Dibiase you laid out The Snake for absolutely no reason! What gives you the right?

Dibiase: Show him Virgil! Show this peon what gives me the right. (Virgil drops the bags and quickly whips out a roll of bills and flashes them at Gene) They say Money makes the world go round for a reason Gene. I can have whatever I want whenever I want. I see something I desire I BUY IT! It’s just that simple. And Jake Roberts when you stopped me from having my fun with that insignificant little speck you stole from me! No one steals from The Million Dollar Man! If it’s going to cost me a hundred dollars every time I hit you with a chair. Well that’s a price I’m willing to pay all night long. Virgil let’s get out of here.

Gene: Wait just a … (Virgil gives him a dirty look stopping him in his tracks)

Rating: 85%

After a commercial we are back to the studio with Alfred who mentions how he wishes he was in the field and Gene was in the studio with all that money being thrown around. He then throws it to our next contest.

The Rougeau Brothers with Jimmy Hart vs. Barry Hardy and Duane Gill

Both teams are in the ring and Jimmy Hart is using his megaphone to hurtle insults at Hardy and Gill. The Rougeaus call them out to the middle of the ring and offer to shake hands before the match. The crowd boos as Hardy and Gill contemplate how to handle the situation. Hardy and Gill walk forward and…ATTACK with a wild flurry of punches! This sends Raymond and Jacques retreating to the outside. They meet up with Jimmy Hart and orders his two men to share a hug so they can calm down. The hug does the trick and the brothers are ready to go again.

Ventura: Go ahead fellas! Take care of these two.

They slide into the ring and manage a cheap shot on Hardy to take control of the match. The match goes on from there with Jacques and Raymond cheating liberally even though it’s obvious that it is not needed for them to win. They punish Hardy for another few minutes before easily finishing him off when Jacques flies off the top rope with a Dropkick knocking Hardy into a Raymond schoolboy for the 1…2…3!

McMahon: These two work together very well in that ring Jesse. They have quite a test ahead of them with The Bushwhackers though.

Rating: 54/40/68

Alfred re enforces how big a test The Bushwhackers are and how great The Royal Rumble is going to be. He runs down the card and then informs us that we have two huge matches still to come tonight, but first some words from another man involved in The Royal Rumble match. Macho Man Randy Savage!

He truly is a Macho Man

Macho stands in the interview position with his back to the camera. There is a long pause before he finally begins to speak.

Savage: Royal Rumble…Royal Rumble (Macho turns around) It’s time again for The Royal Rumble yeah. 30 men come together and ONE walks out. One man better than all the rest! One man the toughest man in the WWF. One man the greatest athlete in the WWF. One man who deserves to be called the BEST! That man will have to show no fear. That man will have to able to take on any other man in the WWF. That man will have to be a Macho Man yeah. Macho to the bone!

Savage begins pacing around nervously.

Savage: No one is more Macho than the Macho Man. You want me to prove it?!? You question a former WWF champion?!? Ya don’t do that! Oh no. YA DON’T! I’ll prove it! Macho Man number one in the Royal Rumble! How about that? Macho Man is making waves yeah!

Macho walks off the set, but can still be heard.

Savage: Dig that yeah! Over the top! Piper out of my way! HOGAN! I’m comin for you brutha!

Rating: 95%

Alfred informs us that he believes Randy Savage may be a little “eccentric” but that any man who wanted number one had to be tough. He then did a little shilling for the submission match before throwing to our next contest involving one of the participants. THE HONKY TONK MAN!

Honky Tonk Man with Jimmy Hart vs. Koko B. Ware with Frankie

We go back to the arena with Honky shaking it down to the ring accompanied by The Mouth of the South. The crowd seems rather indifferent to Honk as he makes his way into the ring. Honky hands his guitar over to “The Colonel” and now concentrates his attention on Koko. Lock up and Honky whips Koko off the ropes. Leap frog by Koko and he hits a dropkick! Honky is quickly back up, but Koko throws another dropkick sending Honky sprawling out to the floor. Hart rushes over to his man so they can regroup while Koko flaps his arm trying to get the fans into it.

McMahon: Look at him go Jesse! That Koko can sure throw a great dropkick! What about it!

Ventura: He aint so bad, but he is no match for the combined smarts of Honky and The Colonel.

Koko gets impatient and moves towards the ropes to yell at the duo on the outside. He makes the mistake of grabbing Hart by the hair instead of Honky and Honky grabs his leg tripping him up. Koko’s knee is draped across the apron and Honky brings it down hard causing him to scream out in pain. From this point forward it’s all Honky. Koko tries valiantly to make a comeback, but Honky keeps working over his knee until finally locking in the inevitable FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK! Koko tries to fight it, but finally has to submit.

Rating: 54/56/52

Alfred congratulates The Honky Tonk Man on a smashing victory and compliments his newly found submission skills. Alfred proving he is the master of the clever segue throws it to another man who is very skilled Mr. Perfect!

A Perfect Scenario

Mr. Perfect stands in the interview area with a big grin on his face obnoxiously chewing his gum.

Perfect: You know once someone told me that nobody’s perfect. He said to me that eventually everyone will make a mistake and that that’s just the way things work. Well I slapped him right across his face and I said “Tunney you obviously haven’t seen Mr. Perfect in action!” I have a message for 28 of the men in the upcoming Royal Rumble. You’ve trained long and hard and for you this may very well be the match of your careers, but the fact is this… You may be good, but you aren’t Perfect.

Perfect pauses for a moment before continuing.

Perfect: Now I know what you’re thinking. Why only 28 men? There are 29 other men in the Rumble. Perfect you screwed up! Trust me I never screw up. I have a very special message for you… HULK HOGAN! I plan on throwing you out last and I am going to enjoy every minute of it. They may call you the champion and they may call you the best. However unlike you I am what I say I am. And I say I’m… (Perfect pauses and then performs his trademark gum swatting maneuver) PERFECT.

Rating: 83%

Mr. Perfect vs. Tito Santana

We immediately cut to in the arena with Mr. Perfect performing his same gum swat on the way down to the ring. The crowd boos him as Santana is in the ring stretching out for what is sure to be a fine main event. Perfect throws his towel over his shoulder and catches it for the camera before climbing into the ring.

McMahon: This should be a fine athletic contest Jesse Ventura.

Ventura: Mr. Perfect brings out the best in everyone he’s in the ring with McMahon. And Chico can hold his own in a fight too. You know I heard he once fought off ten banditos who were trying take over his sister’s Burrito stand.

McMahon: Jesse be serious!

The match starts off in a hurry as both men struggle over a lock up. Tito grabs a headlock, but Perfect pushes him off into the ropes. Dropdown by Perfect and Tito comes off the opposite ropes. Perfect drops down again and this time Tito stops his momentum. Perfect charges in and gets taken down with an arm drag. Perfect is up and Tito charges. Perfect lands a knee lift and then tries to take him over with a hip toss. Tito blocks and takes him over with a hip toss of his own! Tito grabs an arm bar and the match slows down for a bit.

McMahon: What a flurry of offense by Santana!

Ventura: Perfect is just feeling him out. This means nothing.

Sure enough Perfect manages to escape from the arm bar and apply one of his own. They exchange technical holds for the next few minutes with Perfect getting the better of the situation and taking him down with a suplex. Santana sits up, but this just allows Perfect to hit his running neck snap. Perfect quickly pulls Santana to his feet and hits the PERFECT PLEX for the 1…2…3!

McMahon: What a great match Jesse!

Ventura: Chico tested him McMahon, but Perfect was just that here tonight.

Rating: 78/75/82

McMahon: Well that does it for us here today fans. If you are in the New York area come see us live tonight at Madison Square Garden!

Overall Card Rating: 71%

T.V. Rating: 3.57

[TheRaySays]

And JHS, I haven’t been posting feedback for your show because I don't want to read them. Your WCW diary is so great I simply can't bring myself to read any of your work either then it. Don't take offence, that was a compliment.

←

[TheRaySays]

AWA All Star Wrestling – Monday, January 8th, 1990

on ESPN

After the budget SFX video intro, Lee Marshall welcomes us “to the Showboat Sports Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada… for the most exciting wrestling action anywhere… coast to coast… border to border… the AWA brings it right straight DIRECT to your living room, so sit back, relax, and prepare yourself for the hottest hour on cable television today!”

Match 1: Tom Bennett vs. Wahoo McDaniel

The legendary Wahoo McDaniel makes his return to All Star Wrestling. Eric Bischoff lets us know he’s a “wild card” in the Team Challenge Series and that “The team captains are surely in the back watching this closely on the monitors, scouting what would be a major acquisition for any of them.” Wahoo slaps hands with some fans on his way to the ring and removes his headdress, setting it aside after climbing into the ring. Tom Bennett does his best tentative jobber impression, pulling on the ropes and stretching while eyeing the veteran warily.

The bell rings, and we’re underway with some circling, Wahoo favoring the backwards skipping variety. His white boots are tassled as per Native American regulations, I suppose. Finally, they lock up in a collar-and-elbow tie, and Wahoo scores the quick front facelock and snap suplexes Bennett over with little effort.

Both men take some time getting up, one because he’s getting old, the other because he just had to peel himself off of the canvas. Lee Marshall calls Wahoo “methodical.” Well, regardless, he does face Bennett and lash out a big boot to knock him stumbling into the ropes.

Wahoo pushes him against the ropes and whips him across. Wahoo winds up as Bennett bounces back and fires off a stiff knife-edge chop. Bennett hits the mat flat on his back and clutches his chest in pain. Wahoo pulls him up by the chin and lights him up again. Wahoo holds him by the back of the neck to keep him from falling backward and actually uses a forearm to the jaw to keep him upright.

Wahoo takes another front facelock and drapes Bennett’s arm over his head. He gets a grip on the trunks and lifts his opponent into a vertical suplex position. Instead of taking him over, however, Wahoo just throws Bennett out in front of himself to land on his face. Bennett rolls around on the mat in pain while Wahoo stands, hands on hips, seemingly displeased with the kid’s lack of offense.

Wahoo stomps over and brusquely pulls the kid into another front facelock, making a big show of throwing the punk’s arm over his head. He lifts and repeats the spot, just tossing Bennett to the mat. Wahoo shakes his head and starts circling, building up speed and backpedaling a bit here and there. All that’s missing is the “Whoo-whoo-whoo!” to make this a proper war dance.

Finally, Bennett gets to unsteady legs and practically has his head split apart with The Tomahawk Chop. Bennett drops like a stone, and Wahoo takes a lazy lateral press for 1… 2… 3.

WINNER: Wahoo McDaniel, in a brutal squash.

O:45. C:31. M:59.

Pulling Rank

Wahoo is climbing out of the ring when “The Stars N’ Stripes Forever” starts to play. That can only mean one thing… The Sarge marches out, chin up and mouth curled in a satisfied smile to a chorus of cheers and salutes from the crowd. He meets Wahoo at the apron and extends one hand, the other held behind his back. Wahoo takes it, and Slaughter gives him a manly pat on the shoulder. Eric Bischoff is on the scene in no time with a microphone.

“At ease, Soldier!” Slaughter shouts, taking the mic from Bischoff. “Dismissed!” Eric backs away from the pair, but not out of the frame, damn him.

“Wahoo… You know I have nothing but the deepest respect… for you… for what you’ve done in your career in this ring… for where you stand and what you believe in. You’ve got guts and more guts, and I’ve always admired that. What I have to ask you, though, is whether or not you’ve got the guts to join…”

Suddenly, “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N’Roses starts to blare, garnering everyone’s attention. Cheers quickly turn to jeers as Col. DeBeers saunters out, beret cocked jauntily on his head, a swisher stick held in his hands behind his back. He struts over and snaps for Bischoff to bring him another microphone. Eric, an able toady when required to be, fetches one in haste and hands it over as the music fades out.

“This is EXACTLY what I was hoping for… I want to make it clear right now that drafting this man onto this underachieving… MOB… you call a team is just the opportunity I’ve been seeking to free me up from the responsibilities of babysitting your collection of misfits and miscreants, thereby allowing me to…”

Sarge snarls and steps forward. “I’ll allow you to shut yer mess hole, Maggot! Yer not goin’ anywhere! Like it or not, yer on this team, and I can’t say I’m too thrilled about it neither, but if Wahoo is good enough to step up, we’ll be at even strength with the other teams and in a position to make our tactical advance out of last place and win this thing. Do you understand me?!”

DeBeers backs up, a hand raised in supplication. “This is pure insubordination. Look, I know that in America your chain of command is a little rusty and jumbled, but *I* am a Colonel. Now whether you consider yourself a Sergeant or this team’s Captain, either way… I clearly outrank you, so I’m ordering you to release me from my duty immediately.”

“I don’t take orders from yella-bellied… lily-livered… cowardly… bottom-feeding vermin like YOU… Colonel. Now you fall in line or I WILL beat you from one side of this casino to the other. I’ve done it before… and I’ll do it again. Besides, this ain’t about you and I. This is bigger than the two of us. This is about Wahoo and the team. So, whaddaya say, Wahoo? Can I count on you?”

Wahoo takes a moment, nods, and motions for the microphone. Slaughter gives his up while DeBeers audibly harrumphs. “You want an answer, Sarge? You want an answer now?” Slaughter nods his affirmation, and Wahoo pauses again. “Well, I don’t know if I’m ready to answer yet. In all fairness, there’re two other teams in this thing… Baron and I go a ways back, and frankly… I don’t know if I can stand being on a team with this guy.”

DeBeers throws his hands up in annoyance. “You don’t have to be! I don’t want to be on this team with you, neither! I don’t want to be on this team with him… I don’t want to be on this team at all! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell everyone since this whole ridiculous thing started!”

Wahoo fixes DeBeers with a glare that makes his ranting stifle down to a mumble and then cease altogether. “Look, Sarge. I understand your position, and I know the bind you’re in, being a man down and all. I’m gonna give everyone a fair shake, and next week… next week I’ll give you my answer and pick my team.”

Wahoo passes his microphone back to Sarge, who nods. “Fair enough. I look forward to your answer and thank you for hearin’ me out.” The two veterans shake hands again, and Wahoo heads off with his hands raised to the crowd.

Slaughter departs as well, trailing DeBeers, who can’t help but get in the last word. “How is it fair that he gets to pick HIS team?”

64. (Col. DeBeers gained overness from being a proper cad. Wahoo McDaniel gained overness by leaving some plot threads hanging for next week.)

– Commercials –

Our announce team implore the fans to call in and VOTE for which team they think Wahoo should join as well as their selection for MVW… Most Valuable Wrestler… in the Team Challenge Series. It’s only 95 cents per call, get your parents’ permission before you dial. And get your head examined while you’re at it.

Lee Marshall reminds us that “Last week, Ox Baker directed bold accusations at the #1 contender to the AWA World Heavyweight Title, Nikita Koloff, saying he turned his back on his country. Up next, we’re going to have a Flag Match with Baker’s Russian Brute representing Baron’s Blitzers against The Unknown Soldier, who is representing not only Sarge’s Snipers, but all of America.” Of course he’s so proud to be doing so, he’s wearing a mask…

Match 2: Unknown Soldier vs. The Russian Brute w/Ox Baker in a Flag Match

Unknown Soldier is out first with an instrumental version of the Star-Spangled Banner playing, waving Old Glory like nobody’s business. Nobody seems to know what to do, and we get a pan of some fans clapping, others standing stock still with their hands over their hearts, and some saluting. U.S. is shirtless, with no indication as to his rank, so we can presume they’re saluting the flag. In any event, I’m pretty sure he’s in the very “special” forces, if you catch my meaning.

He sports a two-tone black and white mask and camouflage pants with combat boots. U.S. shakes hands with fans and points proudly to the flag, nodding his approval. After a bit of folderol, the music fades out and the referee assists him in affixing the flag to the ring post in one corner. Lee Marshall explains that the flags will be positioned in opposite corners of the ring and that the first man to take down his opponent’s flag will be the winner and earns two points for his team. If he can accomplish it in under five minutes, he’ll earn an extra point.

We get an orchestral rendition of the Soviet National Anthem, and now everyone seems to know what to do: Go take a piss. Ox Baker leads his Russian Brute out. The Brute has his ubiquitous Commie red t-shirt, urban camo pants, and combat boots on. His babushka hat is firmly affixed, and the Russian flag is held high. Some fans have the moxie to lean forward and try spitting on the flag, but Ox Baker’s fierce glare makes them think twice about it.

The referee tries to help The Brute get the flag situated, but Ox shouts him down and gives his assistance instead. Finally, they get the thing in position. The Brute climbs into the ring and doffs his hat, holding it over his heart as he salutes. He passes his hat down to Ox then turns to find The Unknown Soldier holding his nose, as it protrudes uncovered from his mask, and giving the Soviet flag a thumbs-down.

The Brute responds with a running clothesline, and we’re underway. He motions for U.S. to “Getten up! Getten up!” then runs him down with another clothesline the moment he does. The Russian Brute throws his arms out and bellows until Ox Baker smacks the apron with his billy club to get his attention. Ox points to the American flag and encourages him to get a move on and pick up the quick win for the extra point.

The Brute stomps over and starts fiddling with the flag, but The Unknown Soldier rolls to his feet and sprints forward to hit him with a running dropkick right between his big shoulder blades. The Brute falls off balance, slumping forward against the turnbuckles. U.S. tries to pull him out of the corner with an Irish whip, but The Brute puts on the brakes in the center of the ring and reverses, sending The Unknown Soldier slamming back-first against the buckles under the Soviet banner.

The Russian Brute is already on the move, barreling in for a big clothesline, but The Unknown Soldier sidesteps with a flourish, and The Brute collides chest-first with the buckles, his breath escaping with a nearly audible whoosh. The Unknown Soldier spins him around and struggles to scoop him up, but he manages it, and slams him to the mat in the center of the ring. U.S. straddles the big Russian and starts laying some rapid-fire powder-puff right hands into his head. He pauses, points to the American flag, then balls up his fist and drives it into the forehead of The Russian Brute, who oversells it with zeal. Even Ox Baker cringes at ringside.

The Soldier pulls The Brute up and hooks him around the waist. Lee Marshall speculates that he’s setting up The Unknown Side Slam, but he can’t outmuscle The Brute, who breaks it up with a knee lift. The Brute runs to the ropes and bounces off to hit a forearm into the back of The Unknown Soldier. Eric Bischoff gleefully informs us that we’re fast approaching the five minute mark. Sadly, about three minutes of that were weak fisticuffs from The Soldier.

Another forearm shot drives The Unknown Soldier to the ropes, where he hangs over them to support himself. The Brute winds up and lashes out with a few more clubbing forearms, then turns The Soldier around and whips him across. The Unknown Soldier leapfrogs a telegraphed backdrop and hits the near ropes. He tries a high cross body block, but The Brute catches him in mid-air. The Brute stumbles backwards, losing his balance. They reach the ropes and The Unknown Soldier gets dumped to the outside.

Eric Bischoff wonders if that’ll be a disqualification, but the consensus is that it was unintentional, and Referee George Eakin signals to indicate that the match will continue. Ox Baker stomps over to the prone form of The Soldier, slapping his palm with his billy club, but he gets spotted and backs off obediently. Meanwhile, The Russian Brute stomps over and grabs the American flag, breaking the pole and earning a chorus of jeers as well as two points for Baron’s Blitzers as he’s slightly too late for the five minute mark.

The bell rings, which gives Ox Baker carte blanche to start pummeling The Unknown Soldier down on the floor. Baker rolls The Soldier into the ring so The Brute can go to work on him with the fragmented flag pole and choke him out with the American flag. We get a surefire Apter mag photo op as The Brute grimaces with effort, the stars and stripes wrapped around the throat of the gasping masked man.

Eventually, Sgt. Slaughter storms the ring, causing the heels to scatter. He checks on his teammate and removes the flag, setting it aside gingerly. Meanwhile, The Brute and Ox retreat to the announce position where Ox seizes a microphone.

WINNER: The Russian Brute, almost in time to pick up an extra point.

O:42. C:31. M:54. Baron’s Blitzers: 21 + 2 = 23 pts. (The Russian Brute is losing overness because of his weak Comrade gimmick.)

Where’s The Beef?

Ox Baker holds The Russian Brute back in the usual exaggerated fashion as it’s clear The Brute really doesn’t want any part of The Sarge. “Hey! Our beef ain’t with you, Sarge! Our beef ain’t with yer masked meathead neither… Hell, our beef ain’t even with this country! Our problem is Nikita Koloff. Y’see… The Russian Brute is DETERMINED to bring Nikita back to Mother Russia to face punishment for his betrayal… for his failure… and punishment in Russia ain’t all touchy-feely like it is here in America. Oh no… The gulags in Siberia… they make Sing-Sing look like Club Med, so Nikita... you betta run... you betta hide... but more’n anything else… you betta BELIEVE nothin’ you do is gonna make a difference ‘cuz once The Russian Brute finally gets his hands on you…”

The Brute wrings his mitts and sneers to accentuate the point. “It’s gonna be pure… punishment.”

56. (Ox Baker gained overness from his “beef.”)

– Commercials –

Match 3: Tommy Jammer vs. “Sensei” Pat Tanaka in a Surf’s Up! Challenge Match w/Special Guest Referee Masa Saito

We’re back from break, and Masa Saito of Larry’s Legends is already in the ring to serve as an impartial referee in this gimmick match. “Surfin’ USA” by The Beach Boys begins to play and out skips Tommy Jammer, who slaps hands with fans and generally bops amiably to the ring. Tanaka’s out next, and he eyes Saito warily the whole way in. Eric Bischoff reminds us that Tanaka ended up on the wrong end of a Martial Arts Match with Saito a few weeks back, but that he should have his eyes on Jammer tonight.

Lee Marshall is left with the unenviable task of explaining how this gimmick works. The winner of the match is the first man to lock his opponent in the wrestling hold known as a surfboard. Tanaka paces and protests, presumably in Japanese, with his hands on his hips. Saito beckons down to ringside for Referee Scott LeDoux. LeDoux gives us the “Who, me?” reaction and reluctantly and slowly makes his way into the ring. Saito instructs him to lie down on his stomach, and Eric Bischoff tells us “Mister Saito is going to demonstrate the hold.”

Saito straddles LeDoux and reaches down to grab his wrists. He pulls back and buries his bare feet in the small of LeDoux’s back. LeDoux immediately cries out in agony, causing Tommy Jammer to noticeably wince.

The live crowd, small as it is, seems to be completely and utterly lost by all this since they don’t have the benefit of our insightful commentary team to tell them what the hell is going on. Saito releases the hold, barks something in Japanese, and gently rolls the writhing LeDoux out to the apron with a bare foot. Saito then goes the ropes and shouts “Hai!” to call for the opening bell.

The two men lock up in the center of the ring, and Tanaka snares a side headlock. Jammer slaps at the arm a bit before getting his feet under him and shoving “The Sensei” to the ropes. Tommy drops prone as Tanaka rebounds, perhaps not the smartest tactical decision, but Tanaka simply hops over to hit the near ropes. Tommy tries a leapfrog on this exchange, but Tanaka puts on the brakes, leaving him to hop in the air and land in front of Tanaka.

Tanaka winds up and fires off a loud knife-edge chop. A second keeps Jammer staggering. Tanaka builds to a frenzy, chopping with rights and lefts, just lighting up the chest of the surfer boy. Tanaka finishes the flurry with a stiff high kick that “almost took Tommy’s head clear off,” as called by Lee Marshall. Tanaka blows on his hands to mock cool them.

Meanwhile, Tommy claws his way over to the ropes and uses them to pull himself up. Tanaka pushes him against the ropes and whips him across. He catches Jammer on the rebound with a quick powerslam, then rolls him over onto his stomach and starts locking in the surfboard. Tommy keeps one hand out of reach, however, and flails about wildly until scoring the bottom rope. Masa Saito enforces the break, and we have a brief staredown between Saito and Tanaka.

Tanaka turns and hits a high standing dropkick onto the incoming Tommy Jammer. He doesn’t waste any time going back in for the hold, but Jammer scurries away with surprising speed and scrambles back up to a vertical base. Tanaka comes in from behind, but a mule kick hits him in the gut and buys Jammer some time. Tommy uses a drop toe hold to send Tanaka falling face-first onto the canvas, and now it’s Tommy’s turn to go for the winning hold.

Tommy gets one arm hooked. He goes for the other, but Tanaka rolls over and kips up to turn it into an arm-wringer. He fires off a forearm to the face, but Jammer shrugs it off and reverses the arm-wringer. Tanaka slaps at his arm as Jammer cranks the hold. Tanaka flips, but lands on his feet and breaks the hold with an elbow to the side of the head.

Tommy reels away, turning and staggering straight into a back body drop. Tanaka hits the ropes and bounces off to fall forward in a diving head butt. Tommy Jammer inexplicably rolls onto his stomach, and Pat Tanaka easily locks in the surfboard for the victory at just over six minutes.

Masa Saito calls for the break, and Tanaka quickly gives it to get his hand raised in victory. Tommy Jammer rolls out of the ring like nothing happened and practically runs to the back. Eric Bischoff gets all giddy letting us know that “Sarge’s Snipers have now tied Larry’s Legends for second place at 13 points!”

WINNER: Pat Tanaka, by locking in the dreaded surfboard submission hold.

O:44. C:36. M:52. Sarge’s Snipers: 11 + 2 = 13 pts.

Tommy Jammer hurried to the locker room, but Pat wasn’t far behind, and he was pissed. I did my best to catch up to them, but with my awkward limp, I wasn’t able to get much further than earshot before Pat was up in his face. “What the hell was that? Great job making me look like an ass out there.”

Jammer was gathering up his gear and wouldn’t even meet Pat’s gaze. “Hey, that crap wasn’t my idea. You went over, just like we were told. You want me to make you look like a million bucks, maybe you should try a little give and take rather than just kicking and chopping the shit out of me for ten minutes.”

Man, was that an exaggeration. The match was laid out to go over five, making it a little more competitive than a simple squash, but in the end, Tanaka was an ex-AWA World Tag Team Champion, and Jammer was enhancement talent. That’s just the way I saw things… the way Verne saw things… even the way Pat saw things… but, obviously, not the way Tommy WANTED to see things…

Finally, I caught up with them. “Hey,” I said, trying to smooth things over.  “I dropped the ball on this one. I tried to get a little nod to Tommy’s gimmick, and I wanted to keep things tense between Saito and Pat. I didn’t mean for it to hamstring you guys out there. You guys got any ideas, I’m all ears. I want as much input as everyone’s willing to give.”

Pat folded his arms. “I want to work with guys I can trust to put something together with… guys that aren’t going to leave me hanging out there.”

Tommy laughed, but it wasn’t a joyful chuckle. It was a scoffing snicker. “Guys like Paul? That’s all it is with you any more. Badd Company this… Badd Company that… Me and Paul… Paul and I… Look, man, you want MY input? I’m just glad I’m not in the main event this week, because if you thought THAT was a train wreck out there just now… be thankful, Pat, is all I’m saying. I’ll see you two next week… if there IS a next week…” Tommy zipped up his gym bag and stormed off in a huff, leaving Pat and I in uncomfortable silence.

“Asshole,” Pat murmured, turning back to me. “What IS this week’s main event?”

I couldn’t answer. Perhaps my ideas WEREN’T any better than those of Verne or Eric, and perhaps I didn’t have the support backstage that I wanted… that I NEEDED if this was ever going to get us out of the red ink. “I’d rather not talk about it right now,” I said. I shook my head and hobbled off.

Edited April 30, 2005 by TheRaySays

[JStarr]

Surf's Up Challenge Matches? Short Stack Flapjack Challenges? What kind of bullshit is this? Oh, wait, it's the exact kind of bullshit the AWA was pulling out at the time. Honestly, Ray, I've gotten some serious belly laughs out of your portion of this split, but I fear for the game that you book it on, because with a roster like this, it would seem hard to make money or gain PI.

Wahoo McDaniel's way past his sell-by date at this point, but he's likely one of the biggest names you can get, so hopefully he'll do good things for ya.

The most jarring image was Col. DeBeers coming out to "Welcome to the Jungle." I dunno, just seemed an odd choice. DeBeers' whining was greatly entertaining, and Sarge was spot-on.

The use of the screen captures and pics, just like they do in EWR itself, help immensely when it comes to visualizing people that I may never have seen before...which, on the AWA roster, is damn near all of them.

What? No Larry Land?

Finally, though, you've done a nice seamless job of weaving in all the elements that the game throws at you, like the Jammer-Tanaka incident and the Blackwell radio interview. Speaking of which, the interview was hilarious, but struck me as just a tiny bit racy for 1990. Maybe I just wasn't listening to the right stations.

Another beautifully goofy show, and I will continue to hope you don't get fired. :thumbsup:

[TGC]

First We deal with Srarry's lil WWF show:

Aboslutely fantastic. While some may not be digging the squashes and the less than Main Event quality matches, I for one am. Maybe it's because this is allowing us to get to know how you plan to bring the characters to life in here. While I have no doubt you can handle Ventura and Piper, I've never seen a srarry Macho, Perfect, or Hogan and I can't wait to. This slow build is the best way to introduce us to YOUR WWF 1990 all the while being ultra realistic.

Good job, and not much more I can say that that.

Oh wait, one more thing. The Ventura banditos line made me laugh out loud. Nice.

Now it's RayRay's turn:

When Wahoo freaking McDaniels, Sgt Slaughter, and Col DeBeers provide the most entertaining segment on a show, well, your show kinda sucks ass.

Of course, it's all good when the show is AWA Crapfest 1990. Considering the number of complete shit wrestlers and personalities you have, it's a wonder you can make ANYTHING even resembling a show out of it, let alone that it be readable and decent.

Again, with WWF the thing that makes it work is that it's srarry creating gold, with NAPW it's watching syco try and build RoH in 1990, and with your AWA it's watching you produce shit flavored ice cream that all the kiddies just HAVE TO HAVE!!!

That was a compliment, by the way, although in the vein of Miami Vice to be sure.

Looking forward to the next shows from the both of you.

TGC

[Miami Vice]

So I decided to take your advise TRS and read your last show. I have no preconceived notions as to what I will read since I haven’t seen a single AWA show in my life. Sure I watched Curt Hennig battle Nick Bokwinkle at SuperClash II I think, but that doesn't really count.

I don't really like this team competition. Sure teaming heels and faces together could make for some interesting stuff but you really haven’t explored much of it except for Debrees/Slaughter. Wahoo doesn't do much for me since he was way past his prime at this point. Even though some of the booking is questionable you certainly do know how to write. Your able to capture my imagination, even with crap like the Short Stack Challenge. I have to tell you that was both stupid and fun, nicely done. The Trooper is a funny guy too with his writing up Maximus with a ticket.

Overall your shows are less interesting then others in this split not because of you as a writer but because you were dealt a bunch of crap for a roster. Your trying to make the best of it and have certainly done better then I expected but I still find the AWA to be too gimmicky.

TGC, I'm awaiting your next show with much anticipation!

JHS, I'd love to see a WCW update!

Edited May 1, 2005 by Miami Vice

[smeyers003]

Reading this I got sensory overload too many good diary writers in one thread. I look foward to seeing where all four go and I'm looking foward to TGC doing what he does best early 90's WCW.

[TGC]

Bonsie'd!