The Battle for Vince's Soul

[mattman1624]

I love this diary. I'm paitently waiting for when you start reposting part seven. I didn't read much of this diary when it was first here, but I went and read all six parts off your site a few months ago.

Edited April 21, 2005 by mattman1624

[Hayhay17]

If you absolutley can't wait to read the last to parts, do what I did and go to EWBIII and look at the hall of fame, the entire diary is there.

[mattman1624]

Tried, EWBIII is gone, I think. How'd you get into it?

[Hayhay17]

There was a link on this board somewhere.

[DonaldMick]

spoilers for the rest of the diary:

/ewbIII/index.php?showforum=42">http://www.ewbattleground.com/ewbIII/index.php?showforum=42

[mattman1624]

Thank You HD.

[chrishardcore]

Is this thread still going to be posted in or is it a case of going to the link to read the rest?

[The Third Dukes]

All right, all right, I'm back, quit yer bitchin'.

This is the update that everyone knew was happening. I mean, EVERYONE. This was perhaps the worst-kept secret in all of the BVS -- what's wrong with Lita? I'm sure you figured it out -- Torrie's comments notwithstanding -- and if you didn't before, you'll certainly know after I'm done with this chapter.

Oh, and for the record, this was written in November/December of 2003. Just call me Nostradumbass when it comes to this week. I mean, talk about life imitating art...

And again, I apologize for Gene Snitsky, although my longtime readers assure me IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

Ahem.

And then there's RAW itself, which is somewhat memorable for being the first TV show after the shit with Darren hit the fan. As I turned the calendar from November to December, Jerry Lawler got a year older and lost a step in commentary, to the point where I was advised to replace him. But how does one write Lawler off of RAW realistically? Well, I'm probably going to catch hell for how I did it, but I want you all to imagine it and see if it sounds at least realistic.

I would love to see Troy Maskell's review of this, by the way. But that's another rant.

*****

Chapter 55

Living for Two

Monday, December 01, 2003, 12:45 PM

Sacramento, CA

I slowly carried my bags and headed for the car. This was one trip I was not looking forward to. My stomach had been bothering me all day, and I had barely been able to control lunch. I took some flu medicine after lunch to make sure I could get through the day. This is just no fun.

As I crawled into the back seat, a hand reached out and touched my shoulder. I looked over to see René Dupree smiling back at me, attempting to cheer me up. "Ah, Mademoiselle, it is an honor to be with you today," he said as he kissed my hand.

"Stuff it, Lindsay," I said, not even sure where those words came from. "I'm sick and I'm tired. I woke up at 5 AM and vomited. This is not my day. It may not be my week. I'm just... sorry."

"No, no," I heard. "Do not apologize. If you are sick, you are sick. I understand. But please -- know this. You still have important work to do. If you do not, well, we cannot have that, oui?"

"What's with the French, really?"

"Sorry. I'm getting in character. Is this better?"

"A little... ugh. This is not fun. I thought you stopped being sick when you died."

I heard a chuckle. "Well, we cannot win them all. At least Ivory has been a big help, right?"

"Yeah... she has. I just wish I knew what was wrong."

"Well, what could it be?"

"It's been going on a long time to be the flu... and Torrie said something about eating... I don't know which it is, but it's kinda serious. I've... er, she's... been sick for so long."

"Hmmm... could it be mono?"

"I dunno -- I don't think nausea's part of mono. There's gotta be another explanation."

As we thought, Shawn opened the driver's seat and got into the car. He looked behind him, as always. "Well, two girls this time," he said with a chuckle. "Who's who?"

"Really, Shawn, just because I'm a girl on the inside doesn't mean Rene Dupree is!"

"So you're Lindsay, then. Okay, we're off. Oh, and if anyone ever needs to pull over for some reason, just tell me. I'll be glad to do it."

*****

03:11 PM

There was a knock on the Diva locker room door. Upon hearing it, Nora seemed to cringe. I went over to her. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh... no... just a reflex."

"Nora, relax. He's gone. Besides, there's six of us who will defend you from anyone who comes in here."

The knock came again. "I'd better go get that," I said. I opened the door. The familiar black hair and million-dollar smile peered out from the hallway. "Oh, Eric. Hi. I suppose you have the marching orders for today?"

"Yeah -- and a lot of you aren't on it. They're putting an emphasis on the tag division again. I suppose you all don't mind the time off, though, right?" He added an uneasy chuckle as he said this.

"I know I don't... man, I've been miserable recently. I'm really sorry."

"Relax, Amy -- I'm no expert, but I know that everyone has problems every now and again. You gonna be able to go out for Heat?"

"I'll... I'll try."

"Okay, good. We got you and Trish going against Gail and Ivory. Hopefully things will work out here. Get dressed."

*****

05:34 PM

Trish began the match in the ring as I looked on. I was barely paying attention to the match -- more of my effort was being driven towards staying upright in the corner. As Ivory and Trish traded blows in the ring, I looked across at Gail, who was yelling to the crowd. Ivory had to shake the ropes as she climbed in the neutral corner next to me to get my attention.

Oh, no, I'm gonna miss the spot! Hurry! I ran over to the ropes and placed my hand on her back as she leapt. She fell out of control as Trish stepped aside. I ran back to my corner, sweating from seven seconds of exertion. Why am I so sick? Trish melodramatically crawled over to the corner as I extended my hand. Gail and I were tagged in at the same time.

I charged Gail and jumped on her to knock her over. I began to slap away at her face, then lifted her up and dropkicked her. Ivory was getting to her feet, so I went over and punched her back off -- at least, theoretically it was a punch. Wow, I didn't know I was so bad at it. Getting back to Gail, who by this time was getting up, I tossed her into the ropes and hit a back body drop.

Trish was off the apron to cut off Ivory as I went up top. Gail rolled to her feet and looked around in confusion. I timed it just right, so that as she made her way back to looking at me, I grabbed her with my legs into a headscissors. We both made our way to our feet as I was running on pure adrenaline. I kicked her in the gut -- ah, that's more like it -- and yelled to the crowd, nailing the Twist of Fate. From there, I vaulted up top and delivered the Moonsault.

As I hit Gail in the stomach, I felt a crushing pain in my gut. I rolled halfway across the ring, unable to do anything but hold my stomach in pain. I felt like someone had stabbed me. The referee saw what was going on and quickly called for the bell. All three women dashed to me as I lay nearly motionless, only coughing and crying.

"Amy," I heard, "Amy, can you breathe?"

I nodded. Another voice, a male voice, broke in with, "Stay right here, Lita. Help's on the way."

I slowly tried to get to my feet, but a pair of hands pushed down on my shoulders. "No, don't," a voice said. "Just lie there. We'll get you help."

After a minute or so, I just closed my eyes to shield the lights of the arena. I felt a series of hands checking my heart rate, blood pressure, and various other signs. Someone put a neck brace on me -- "She broke it a couple years ago," I heard what sounded like Trish explain -- and I was rolled onto a stretcher and taken out of the arena. As I reached the back, I heard Vince's voice tell people, "She's probably just really sick. That's all."

"Yeah -- I've just had a bit of the flu. You all are over-reacting... I just need a bucket..." My voice sounded very unconvincing. I didn't even believe my own words. Whatever just hurt me, it wasn't the flu. I knew that.

As they removed the straps and neck brace from me, I sat up on the stretcher and walked to the back. Ivory had my arm, steadying my gait. "Amy, you just rest tonight, honey. You've had enough for one day. I have something to do tonight, but Trish will be here to make sure you're all right. Get some rest. I'm taking you to a doctor tomorrow."

*****

- The SmarK RAW Rant for Dec. 01 / 2003.

- Live from Sacramento, CA.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler.

- A lot of people are asking me what to make of William Regal now that he's been arrested, and my answer should be obvious: f*ck him. The man showed such concern for his career being over and was BEGGING for work when he was made a road agent, and he uses his position to do this? I'm generally not a death penalty kind of guy, but the fact is that some people DESERVE it, and he's one of them. Maybe prison will make him realize what he did. I'm sure there are enough Bubbas in Texan prisons that he'll be a prized possession for the remainder of his life.

- Enough of that, there's a TV show.

- RNN with Randy Orton, as he seems rather shaken with the whole thing. He brings out Christian, who is his usual arrogant little self. Christian challenges Booker T to a match at Armageddon, as we get footage of Christian pounding on Booker during last week's six-man on the OrTron 2250. Goldust interrupts (wearing an "I <heart> Nora" armband -- now that's classy) and tells Christian he has to get through him to get to Booker. Christian says that sounds like a good idea, so let's do it RIGHT NOW!

- Impromptu Hardcore Match: Christian v. Goldust. I assume this is hardcore, because the set very quickly gets used as weaponry here. Christian takes Goldust into the OrTron and suplexes him for two. Goldust hits the sliding punch and a low blow, then shatters a pair of stools over Christian's head. Christian takes Orton's microphone and clocks Goldust with it as this match gets stiffer by the minute. Christian applies a straitjacket choke to Goldust, who responds by wiggling out of his glove and YANKING Christian's hair to break. This is getting UFC-level brutal. In a good way. Curtain Call is blocked, Unprettier is blocked, then Goldust shoves Christian into the set and climbs the top rope. Oh no. Sure enough, Goldust is up top, but the FAT GUY OUTTA CONTROL splash misses and DESTROYS the set completely. Christian pins Goldust in the wreckage at 4:45. Brutally short, but realistic. **1/4 Booker T runs in and accepts the match by way of a Book End.

- WEEKEND UPDATE WITH 3 LIVE KRU~! Konnan opens with the breaking news story that Michael Jackson has been cleared of all charges by his surprise girlfriend Paris Hilton. Road Dogg does sports wearing a Keyshawn Johnson jersey, but Konnan "de-activates" the sports report halfway through. Ouch. Ron Killings reports at the weather center that a giant blue arrow is headed to Philadelphia. I think they stole that one from ESPN, but more power to them. Stacy Keibler is showing the stock report when the Dow surprisingly points upward while she's talking about it. Real subtle, guys. Not. Killings announces that a severe storm of pain is headed to France in a "breaking news" segment. Killings: "Do they have the balls to fight back?" Dogg: "Someone should give me some damn balls." I assume this is funny for those who follow the NFL. Anyway, cute filler segment.

- Losers Bracket: Dudley Boyz v. Chris Nowinski and Rodney Mack. Bubba wants to make this a table match as I immeidately realize what the finish will be. Four-man brawl to start, then the Dudleyz clear out with the usual. Tables are fetched, but Theodore Long smacks D-Von with the cane to end that segment. Blackout by Mack, which does no good in a table match, but Bubba saves. Nowinski uses the FACIAL APPLIANCE OF DEATH to take over, and the table enters. Nowinski goes up top, and sure enough, Bubba catches him and powerslams him through the table to win at 4:14. Okay, that's the makeup call. *

- Earlier Today footage shows Lita hitting a moonsault on Gail Kim in a "pre-show match", but suffering a mysterious stomach injury as everyone crowds around her. Gee, great, ANOTHER bogus pregnancy angle. Hasn't the fact that the last 25 attempts at this all failed to get over sunk in with anyone in the back? I guess women are just baby machines to wrestling fans, aren't they? And why would someone get "hurt" anywhere off of landing on their hands and knees from maybe 5 feet up? Let's move on before I get further disgusted.

- Michael Shane is backstage, and he brags about winning in last week's main event, as if that means something. This ain't the NWA, kid. He challenges his uncle to a match at Armageddon, which ought to be fun.

- Losers Bracket: Hurricane and Mighty Molly v. La Résistance. All four dance to start -- okay, with a woman and two Frenchmen in there, it just fit -- and Hurricane dives out with a pescado. Molly suplexes Grenier, and Hurricane gets a shining wizard for two. Dupree cheapshots Hurricane to make him hero-in-peril. Prancing elbow gets two. German suplex gets two. Double DDT by the French gets two. Then, something really surreal happens, as Lawler starts making his usual sexist comments with reference to Molly, and JR absolutely goes BERSERK, chastising him in 15 different ways and declaring the LAST thing Molly needs is to be sexualized right now. The two announcers start absolutely shooting on each other as I can just imagine Gerwitz seeing his career dematerializing before his very eyes. Back in the ring, Grenier dropkicks Hurricane and hits the chinlock. Dupree in, and a dragon screw leads to a figure-four try, but Hurricane blocks. Both men up top, and a Dupree superplex is blocked by a Hurricane SUPER NECKBREAKER (!!) as the announcers aren't calling ANY of this. Hot tag Molly, who gets an AMAZING sympathetic pop of a lifetime upon entering. I nearly lose it as the crowd chants "Fry Darren Fry" in unison as Molly really LAYS IN THE PAIN to Grenier. Dupree gets slammed off the top, and Molly hits the Molly Go Round on both of them... and the ref, too. Oops. JR calls Lawler a "sick sonofabitch who should be locked up with Michael Jackson", and Lawler defends himself by saying "at least I'm not going senile out there." Oh dear. Dupree goes for the French flag, but Molly steals it and SNAPS the pole over Grenier's head. She goes up top, but Ivory makes her return and gives Molly an RKO off the top rope, rolling Grenier on top for the pin at 7:25. JR: "I suppose you think Ivory's a milf, huh?" Lawler: "What's gotten into you?" JR: "It's called chivalry; you should try it for more than 5 seconds." It looked like a good match, but with the crowd, the announcers, and everything else, trying to rate it would be impossible. Ivory declares that Molly "may be hurt, but you're still the champ, and that's all I want." Finally, a return to wrestling on a wrestling show? With the women? And Lawler's comments aren't being appreciated? What parallel universe am I in? And why put this on right after showing a fake pregnancy bit with Lita, anyway? Talk about your mixed messages.

- Wait a minute -- did Jim Ross just use the acronym "MILF" in the right context?

- Chris Benoit v. Michael Shane. Well, they're trying, aren't they? Benoit chops away at Shane, but Shane dumps him and follows with a tope. Benoit flies into the steps, and back in, Shane gets two. Shane works the neck of Benoit with a snapmare, then dropkicks the back of it. A series of dropkicks gets two for Shane. Shane hits a rana, then chokes at Benoit. Benoit fires back with another chop, then clotheslines Shane down. Snap suplex and rolling Germans get two for Benoit. Benoit goes for a superplex, but Shane slugs him down and dives off with a crossbody for two. Shane warms up the band -- sacrilege -- but Benoit ducks the superkick and clips Shane into a Sharpshooter. Shane makes the ropes, so Benoit drags him to the center of the ring. Shane kicks away, then goes for a Crossface on Benoit, but Benoit blocks. Shane clotheslines Benoit down, then goes up top. Picture Perfect Elbow misses, Crossface gets locked in, goodnight at 7:44. As long as Shane allows himself to be carried, everything will be fine. *** Shawn Michaels emerges and superkicks a temper-tantrum-throwing Shane, then accepts the match. This one will be interesting for all the wrong reasons.

- Winners Bracket Final: New Blood v. Evolution. Winner gets their ticket punched to Armageddon and enjoys a one-fall advantage. Orton and Conway start, and Conway slugs away at Orton and lands a neckbreaker. Batista slams Conway down, but Orton can't take advantage. Maven enters, and the DROPKICK OF DOOM connects for two. To the top, but Orton rolls away from the moonsault. Play of the Day gets two as Maven is YOUR face-in-peril. Batista in, and he throws Maven around for his petty amusement. Orton returns and suplexes Maven for two. Batista and Orton hit the Hart Attack for two. Orton goes up top but gets caught in a Greco-Roman throw, hot tag Conway. Everyone takes their lumps, and the New Blood hit the stack belly-to-belly on Orton for two. Batista hits the MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER on Maven for two. Conway with the IRON CLAW~! on Orton, but Batista chop blocks to break. Maven and Conway get a high/low dropkick combo on Orton, but Batista hits the SIT-OUT POWERBOMB OF DEATH to get the pin and the spot in the title match at 8:01. **1/2 Well, at least they're giving Evolution something to do now that HHH is away from the main event picture.

- Main Event Interview: Eric Bischoff is in the ring with a table, some paper, and the WHEEL OF DEATH! We view the segments on the wheel:

- I Quit Match

- Cage Match

- Hell in a Cell

- Taped Fist Match

- Strap Match

- Table Match

- Scaffold Match

- Coal Miner's Glove Match (oh, TAG!)

- Inferno Match

- Rooftop Rumble

- Spinner's Choice

- Bankrupt (ha ha)

Benoit and Kane come out and sign the contract, and one guess what happens next. Yup, Kane goes ballistic and destroys Benoit, choke slamming him through the table. And that's that.

The Bottom Line:

Full steam ahead, matey, and never mind the suck. The matches are getting to be well-paced, either short or good, but never both. The tournament (which is updated right friggin HERE) has done its part to shake things up, but the big test will be next week -- which of the teams gets the big push?

And will Jerry Lawler be commenting from the insane asylum?

*****

10:44 PM

"You okay, Amy?"

"Yeah -- I think so. I just got the wind knocked out of me, that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Tina, I'm sure." Why does Ivory act like I'm a child? Can't she trust me?

"I think there's more to it than you realize."

"Like what?"

"Oh, forget it. I'll explain to you tomorrow. In the meantime, if anything happens, tell me right away. I have a little expertise in this."

"In what?? Tina, what's wrong with me?"

"I think I know... but I'll wait until the doctor says so."

I slipped into my shirt and climbed into bed. I wish she wouldn't be so elusive. Besides, what can she have experise in, the flu? I don't get it at all.

*****

Tuesday, December 02, 2003, 02:15 PM

Sacramento, CA

We were off to see Doctor Theresa Montessori, who said she would give me a blood test to determine if I was pregnant. I spent most of the ride in Ivory's truck curled over, my head close to a bucket from the hotel. I felt every single bump.

"Amy, it's okay. Everything's probably died down by now. It's only when you rev up your activity that the problems come. That's why you're always sick after a match or in the morning."

"How would you know?"

"Amy... what other symptoms have you had? Wait, let me guess... you feel bloated. Certain areas feel like they're swollen. Your dreams have become surreal, almost nightmarish on a regular basis. Your stomach feels very hard, almost like someone has inserted a metal plate there. Am I on target?"

I had to think. I hadn't been around long enough to know for sure, but Amy had. "Yeah... that's amazing. How'd you know all that?"

"I didn't. Well, I don't. But I was certain of the problem after our match last night. You see, it didn't click until after you rolled off on the moonsault. I wondered how something like that -- something you've done a thousand times -- could suddenly cause pain. But when I added it together with everything else, I knew."

"Knew what?"

"Amy... when was the last time you had sex?"

"Hey! That's none of your damn business! I'm no tramp out there, okay? I'm a good girl, and I... I..."

Oh, shit.

Ivory smiled. "You what?"

"It... it was just once. That's all. We were coming back from the funeral. He was so upset. I just wanted to comfort him... I didn't mean for it to happen. We were just so out of control. Oh, no..."

I leaned back, trying to hold the tears in. It all makes sense now. When I saw her at the slumber party and a few weeks afterwards, her stomach was more solid. Why didn't I see it before? It wasn't a mistake -- it was another person! It's obvious.

The truck pulled over to the side of the road we were on. Ivory reached over and hugged me. "It's okay, sweetie. It's okay. Don't be upset -- this is a big thing. You should be happy."

"Why? Because the next 20 years of my life I'm going to have to leave everything I do and stay at home to take care of someone I never intended to have in the first place? Tina, this would be so different if we were married... we're not even engaged. We're just... just dating. And besides, I don't know if he'd want to do it if it isn't..."

I cut myself off before finishing. I knew the last word I was about to say, but I hoped she didn't. My lip quivered as I tried to fall asleep, hoping I would wake up from this and be back in North Carolina, back as the Hurricane, and back before Lindsay and I ever put them in harm's way.

"Amy? If it isn't what? If the marriage isn't big? Isn't in a church? I don't understand."

I shook my head and let the tears fly. I couldn't hold back anymore. "You... wouldn't... understand," I said between sobs. "I... I can't..."

"Amy, come on. Just tell me about it. What's wrong, girl?"

I tried to see her through the tears in my eyes. "You won't tell anyone? Please?"

"Sure. I'll keep it a secret."

"That one time... it wasn't Matt. It was Gregory."

"Hurricane? Really? Why?"

"Well... it was Monday morning after we came back. We tried to save money by doubling up on the hotel... big mistake, I know. He was all drained after giving the eulogy... and I just wanted to tell him how much better he made me feel. I don't know who started it next, but... I didn't stop him. And the next thing I... I..."

I froze. I couldn't continue, not because I was sad, but because I was scared. Amy's memory was replaying that morning together, and every time her mind recalled Gregory, I recalled Darren. I wasn't even Nora anymore, but being a woman and thinking about sex was enough to trigger flashbacks. My breath became shallow.

"Amy... Amy!"

"Huh?"

"What happened? You just cut off."

"I... I can't continue. This isn't right. I'm sorry. I'm just so... I told him it was just once, but... I never thought..."

"You never do. Heck, that's the risk my husband and I take all the time. I mean, we can afford to care for more children, but I'm 42. My body's not in its prime for this sort of thing. I don't know if I have one more comeback in me. I'm lucky; I could stay at home and live off of the money I saved and my husband's income if I had to. I just don't want to, you know?

Ah, but who am I kidding? This is my last run at the top. Whether or not I win the Women's Title, they wanna phase me out. I'm not surprised. I've done my time, not just here, but all over. Most athletes, you know, they call it a career at my age. Maybe I should. I guess that next big injury, the next big break... whatever it is... my time is up soon. At least I know I have a place here, or with Corny down in Ohio. I just don't know if I wanna go there yet."

"I know... I couldn't wait to return. I was out for 16 long, painful months. And now... now, just when I was ready, I... oh God..."

"No, no, you have time. Look, we'll just get the blood test done, and we'll be on our way back. I'll take you to San Jose, and you can talk to Matt. It'll be good for you."

"I hope so... I just don't know what he'll do."

*****

03:24 PM

I was alone in the office. There was a bandage on my arm -- a child's bandage. I thought about that as I waited for the inevitable. I realized that I myself would have only a few days of putting up with this -- Amy would have 20 years.

She's 28. She wants to spend the rest of her life with Matt. She's at the age where it's almost time for her to settle down, anyway. But one mistake -- one false move -- and now she's forced to make that decision. Day after day, attending to children, being a mommy machine. It's such a stretch from being 2Xtreme, isn't it?

The door opened. I looked up hopefully as Dr. Montessori walked in. She placed the test results on the table and examined them. She then turned around and looked at me, keeping a straight face. "Miss Dumas, I'm sure this comes as no surprise to you by now."

"I'm pregnant, aren't I?"

"Yes you are. About nine weeks, according to this. I don't know how you went this long without noticing, but it's important you make arrangements to make regular prenatal visits soon. Your child will need to be taken care of. Now, here..." she said, handing me a series of pamphlets and such, "is some information you'll need to know to take care of yourself and your child over the next seven months. From the information you gave me, I would place the due date -- for right now -- at June 29. That, however, is a very rough estimation. Anyway, you have plenty of time to get ready."

"Ummm... thanks, doc. I guess."

"Is something wrong?"

"Well, I... I'm not married."

"If that bothers you, there are dozens of national single-parent support groups. That information is in the material I gave you as well. Miss Dumas, I wish you the best of luck. And congratulations."

Congratulations, indeed. I took the information and headed out to the waiting room. Ivory was there, but her smile was gone. She seemed subdued compared to earlier. She stared ahead, not even looking for me to come out. I had to touch her shoulder to get her attention.

"Oh... hey there. You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong. I was just thinking... just kinda... I dunno."

"Tina? What's on your finger? Did you cut yourself?"

"Oh, this? Well, I thought that as long as I was here, I'd give blood. So they did a skin prick to see if my mineral content was normal and stuff. Well... they sent me back here."

"Why? You look healthy to me."

"It's not that... Amy... you don't understand."

"Obviously not. Tell me."

"Well... damn... I shoulda known this could happen. I was so excited just to go home after Survivor Series..."

My face changed from confusion to shock. I could tell what she was going to say before she said it. "You too, eh?"

She looked into my eyes and realized I knew. "Well, yeah. I guess we'd better get to SmackDown!. Gotta tell Vince the news."

[The Third Dukes]

Telling Matt... Oh, this is gonna be fun.

At first, I was worried that Matt was going to be unrealistic in how he handled this whole thing. I think that, after reading this chapter, you'll agree I lucked out and hit it pretty accurately. And yes, I would pay good money to see what would happen if the WWE couldn't had an investment in Matt as well as in Edge.

I really have nothing else to add here. Oh, well, actually, one more thing: Undertaker's a political bastard in this chapter. Deal with it.

*****

Chapter 56

A House Divided

Tuesday, December 02, 2003, 05:58 PM

San Jose, CA

We walked into the San Jose Arena by the locker rooms. Paul saw us and stopped us. "What's goin' on, girls? Coming to see Matt?"

"Yeah, Paul, I am. I gotta talk to him."

"Suit yourself, Lita. How about you, Ivory?"

"I just came along for the ride."

"Proceed, then."

We walked the corridors, stopping just outside the SmackDown! men's locker room. I found myself unable to take the next step. Ivory paused and looked back at me.

"What's wrong? You nervous?"

"Yeah... it's just that... well, you have a couple months before it's a real concern. You got lucky. I... oh, this is crazy. I should just tell him. But... but I don't know how he'll react."

"Just take a deep breath and ask to speak with him. I'll be here the whole time."

"Thanks..." I knocked on the door. John Cena slowly opened it, then seemed to relax. "Oh, I'm sorry. It's just you."

"Thanks, John."

"No, no, no -- I mean, that girl's going nuts right now. Anyway, I guess you wanna see Matt?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Sure. Yo, V1 -- your honey's here!" Harumph. Matt peeked his head around the corner and saw me standing at the door. He raced to me and gave me a huge hug and kiss. "Should I leave you two alone, Matt?"

"Close the door, John." The door shut behind him, leaving the three of us out in the hallway.

"Amy... I was so worried. You scared me."

"I was scared. But everything's okay. I went to the doctor, and she said that there was an easy explanation for everything... but, uhhhh, I don't know if I should tell you."

"What? What do you mean? Amy, you know that whatever goes on in your life, I'm gonna be there. I don't care what it is... just let me know."

"Well... no, you'll be mad."

"Why would I be mad? What could you tell me that would upset me?" I didn't respond. I was working up how to say this. "Come on, Amy... what's wrong?"

"Matt... after the show, let's go back to Vegas and get married."

"Wh... what? But I thought you wanted to have a big ceremony, and wanted your family to be there. I was waiting to propose until we had the time. Besides, now isn't a good time for that -- we're on different shows. Why would you wanna get married now?"

I said nothing. I merely turned my head away, searching for the right way to explain to him that I was trying to get him to legitimize a kid that wasn't his. I felt ashamed for having asked, since I was dragging him into my mess. I was hoping for divine inspiration to strike him. He put his arm around me as I looked down at the floor.

"Amy... tell me, please," he said in a calm voice that seemed to want to understand. "Whatever it is... just tell me."

"I... I'm sorry. You remember what happened... after the funeral?"

"Is this about Greg? I told you, I forgave you for that. I mean, yeah, it still hurts, but you don't have to overreact just because you slept with someone else one..." he stopped. His eyes grew wide. He looked back at me, then at my stomach. I covered it with my arms, hoping I could block some X-ray vision he didn't have.

"Oh... ohhhhhhhh... wow. Damn. I... I... damn." He swallowed hard. "I guess... well... wow. Are they sure?"

"Yeah... they are. It's due in late June."

"Oh dear. Damn. I..." He kept shaking his head. I turned away, hoping to feel his arms around my neck or on my shoulders. Instead, I felt nothing. It was the coldest nothing I'd ever felt. "Amy... no. I can't. I'm not ready. I'm sorry."

"Matt, wait..." I turned around to face him, but instead of confusion or concern, I saw something else -- anger.

"Amy, I can't do this. You know, it's been hurting me for ages that you talk about how you didn't wanna do more than a little with me because I was special. You wanted it to feel like the first time all over again. Well, I didn't mention anything because I was thinkin' about Jeff, and about how I wanted to go on with my life, and how much help you were when it came to getting me through that week. Well, it looks like you had other ideas. Go talk to him -- see if he's willing. But I am not taking responsibility for what isn't mine! Dammit, Amy, I can't believe you would do this. Why?"

I was in tears. I was too upset to answer. I was bawling now, as Ivory stood off to the side, not interfering but not comfortable. "M... Matt... but I..."

"Can it, Amy. You're just going to go on and on about how unlucky you were. Well, I don't think so. It takes effort. It takes day after day to get it just right. There are guys in the back who say they had to go at it for months! How long have you two been screwing behind my back?"

"Matt, I swear, it was just one time!"

"You lying bitch! Don't play me for an idiot. I know what I sound like out there, but I'm smart enough to see through this. You and your city boyfriend probably thought you could time it just right. Well, fuck you and fuck Greg. I hope you're happy together. You could've at least stopped after I lost my brother instead of jumping him as soon as you got back!"

"No, it's not like that..."

By this time, the locker room door opened. I saw Billy Kidman standing at the door, eyes wide open.

"The hell it isn't, Amy! You know how many of those guys said I shoulda dumped you back when you first told me? But I didn't. You know why? Because I believed you. I believed it was just once. You used me, Amy. Well, I ain't getting used any more! You're free of me now! Go and enjoy Greg if he's man enough to have you now!"

He stormed back to the locker room, only to see Kidman watching him. Kidman merely shook his head and stared at Matt. "You think you're a man now, I suppose," he finally said.

"I got used. I'm not getting used again. Now lemme in." He shoved Kidman aside and walked through the door, slamming it behind him. I fell to my knees, then sat down next to the wall. I could do nothing but cry for the next ten minutes. I was feeling the exact opposite of when I was Stacy.

The door finally opened. Kidman came out. He sat down next to me and embraced me. "Amy... I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. And even if what he says is true -- and I don't know -- but even if it is, that's no reason for him to treat you like that right now. I'd never do that."

"Th... thank you," I sobbed. "Thanks."

"Lemme go get Torrie... I'm so bad as this consolation thing."

"No, no... you're doing fine."

"Lemme get her anyway." Kidman got up and walked around the corner. He his steps seemed to echo in the hallway. Ivory went to comfort me, but I pushed her away.

"Amy, I'm sorry..."

"Save it, please. It means nothing from you. It'll mean nothing from Torrie. You haven't been here."

"But Amy, don't you remember?"

"You've got a family, don't you? What have I got? Nothing. I'm alone. This is something Dad always warned me would happen. I just never thought it would be like this."

"Amy, that's not fair. Look, it..."

Before she could continue, the locker room door burst open again. Matt re-appeared, this time seemingly agitated. I saw a pair of heavily tattooed arms shove him out into the hall. A voice yelled at him, "You better do the right thing, boy."

Matt stood out in the hall, then flung the door open again. He yelled, "Yeah? And what'll you do about it, old man," as the door closed.

"C'mon, Amy... let's go." Ivory pulled me up and helped me around the corner. As we entered the main hall, Kidman and Torrie returned. Torrie merely ran up to me and hugged me. We remained in each other's arms for a full minute, just crying over what had just happened. Even though the tears shed on my behalf wouldn't change the situation, they meant more to me than any action that could have been taken.

"Amy... I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

"It's okay, Torrie. It wouldn't matter. You have him," I said, pointing at Kidman. "If this happens to you, he'll be there. I'm gonna have to do this alone."

*****

Wednesday, December 03, 2003, 05:44 PM

Cameron, NC

I went home. I told Eric and Shawn I didn't want to work the house shows that weekend. Eric understood why, having heard from another source about the blow-up. Shawn, however, asked that I stay with the crew, although he was in no position to say why. I told him I'd think about it, and that I'd try to make it back by the weekend, but I needed to do something first.

I walked into the house that once belonged to Matt and Jeff. Now, it was just Matt's -- and, up until yesterday, mine. I didn't want her to stay there anymore. It was clear Matt didn't want anything to do with a pregnant Amy -- that he had too many issues in his own mind. I didn't know where to go, but I couldn't stay here.

I was thankful that Matt had to continue on with the publicity tour. Oprah Winfrey had called and asked him to appear on a show about family members affected by drug addicts. He wouldn't be able to return until next week, by which time I'd be long gone. But where?

I slowly went through the dresser and loaded all the stuff that I could identify as mine into my suitcase. I had nowhere to stay, but I knew that I had a few days' head start on Matt. Maybe the weekend would provide Amy with an answer. In the meantime, I had to try to stay out of everyone's way.

As I removed shirts from their drawer, I saw something tucked in the back, inside an envelope. I pulled it out. The envelope had nothing written on it, but it had been opened and closed several times. I looked inside, but couldn't see anything at first. I turned it upside down, and a single item fell out, face up.

It was a novelty photo from some place in Atlantic City. Matt and Amy were stood behind a wooden picture, with only their heads sticking out to fill in holes in the painting. Where Matt stood was a man in a sharp black tuxedo. Where Amy stood was a woman in a beautiful white gown, holding flowers in her left hand. The two figures were holding hands as Matt and Amy smiled from just over the top. I turned it over to the back, where I saw a single word:

"Someday."

I cried for the rest of the night.

*****

Thursday, December 04, 2003, 07:45 PM

The phone rang. I debated whether to pick it up. It could be Matt -- or it could be someone looking for Matt. I had no idea if anyone knew I was in or not. What if Matt was coming home early? What if he saw me here, planning to leave? What would he do? I waited for the answering machine to pick up.

"Amy, it's Shawn -- I, uh, I hope you're still here because I really need to talk to you. Something big just went down this morning..."

"Shawn?" I instantly grabbed the phone and picked it up.

"Oh, hey... you ok, Andy?"

"I think so... I'm just gathering my stuff and getting out. What's wrong?"

"Well, uh... I can't say Matt's changed his mind, but... just some good news about Vince. You know, the guy we're trying to get to be better and all?"

"Yeah, yeah... what is it?"

"He, uh... he took a stand I never thought I'd see him take. You remember how JR and Lawler were at each other's throats back on RAW?"

"Yeah -- it was about Molly, wasn't it?"

"More to the point, Lawler was being his usual perverted self, and Jim thought it was in bad taste. Well, Lawler got called in by Vince today... and... man."

"What? What is it?"

"I never thought I'd say this, but... I think the demon may have done good."

"How?"

"Well, Vince told Lawler that out of respect for Molly, he should lay off the whole puppy thing, and Lawler basically said he didn't think it was necessary. Then things got out of hand."

"How?"

"Well, both men accusing the other of being out of touch, not knowing what the business is about, disrespecting a legend... anyway, the point is, Lawler refused to change his act, and... well, Vince fired him."

"What??"

"Yeah... he just told Lawler not to show up. I mean, we were all wondering what was going on. It didn't make much sense. Here was a guy who had done everything Vince asked him to, and now, when it mattered most, he refused."

"Why do you think that was?"

"I... I wish I could say. I think it has to do with who he is. He's a proud man. He's been wary of Tazz and Cole for a long time, and he... he thinks he's the best in the business. I'm not even sure he's the best in the WWE, myself, but I'm not inside his head. The point is, he refused, and Vince doesn't take no for an answer."

"Well... wait... wouldn't the demon let Lawler do it?"

"I don't know. I looked for the demon... he's in there, but he's... he's laying back. He seemed to be smiling the whole time though. Like he was leading Vince down the wrong path."

"How?"

"Well... I think it's part of what he said. Jerry was... he was talking about what old friends they were, and... Vince wanted nothing of it. There was a lot of foul language being exchanged. Maybe we cut off one sin and put in another."

"You mean... wrath?"

"In a way. But, well... there's really only one sin, and that's Pride. See, I don't buy this seven deadly sins stuff... everything traces to Pride. Lawler? He was too proud to think common decency applied to him, so he leered at women. Regal? Same thing, only he went even further. Vince? Well, he was too proud to be rejected and take the high road, so look what he's done. Lawler... and Kendrick before him..."

I cut him off. "That still stings, doesn't it, Shawn?"

"Well, a little, yeah. I mean, the guy was my student. I love all of them like nephews -- like Michael. And you know, Brian just didn't deserve that kind of treatment. I guess that's why my real nephew was promoted -- to appease me. But it's not the same."

"I know..." I looked at the clock. "Shawn... call me tomorrow. I'm going to watch SmackDown! and go to bed. I've had a long week."

"All right, buddy. I'll talk to you then. Stay strong. If you need out, come back and tell me."

"Thanks."

*****

- The SmarKDown! Rant for Dec. 04 / 2003, Taped Dec. 02.

- From San Jose, CA.

- Your hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz.

- Opening match, no time limit, WWE Tag Team Titles: Team Japan v. World's Greatest Tag Team. The annoucers basically promise a classic as Ultimo and Haas start. Ultimo gets some basic arm stuff to force Haas to back off, but on a second lockup, Haas wrestles Ultimo down and bridges for two. Back up, and Ultimo reverses a wheelbarrow suplex into a rollup for two. They lock up again, and Ultimo ranas Haas over, nearly losing his mask in the process. He rolls out to fix it, and Shelton whips him into the STEEL steps to cover for time. Back in, Haas tries for the Haas of Pain, but Ultimo rolls with it, and the two get into a pinfall reversal sequence. Big ovation for that. Another lockup, and this time Ultimo backs off Haas in the corner. He brings back the handstand headscissors, and Haas now bails. Tajiri dropkicks him to get his attention, and Haas tosses Tajiri against the railing and climbs back in... straight into an Ultimo standing moonsault for two. Haas clotheslines him down and hits an armbar. Ultimo makes the ropes, so Haas drags him back in and gets a Nagata Lock (called a "figure-four armbar" by Cole -- he's trying), but Tajiri stomps on Haas to break. Shelton in, and the arm gets Banzai dropped a few times. Herb Kunze armbar follows, but Ultimo makes the ropes again. Shelton misses a blind charge, Ultimo gets a drop toe-hold and elbowdrop -- with the wrong elbow, which he sells more than Shelton. Haas cuts off the tag, and Ultimo eats an Angle Slam. Haas gets a DDT and goes back to the arm. Shelton grabs his legs, but Tajiri kicks him away... and can't get back in time to get the tag. This is brilliant. Shelton in, and the two do the leapfrog choke for two. Armbreaker and shoulderbreaker gets two. Haas with an arm wrench and lariat for two. Double arm DDT gets two. Full nelson, but Ultimo walks the ropes to break, only to land on the arm. Shelton just stomps the shoulder and does a double armbar, placing his boot in Ultimo's back to make it hurt that much more. Cole and Tazz are selling the psychology like NUTS here. Haas back in, and he gets a judo throw for two. Shelton returns and 450s the arm, but only gets two. Tazz is RIGHT ON THE BALL by pointing out that the move only hit the arm and thus didn't do full damage. Shelton goes for the superkick, but Ultimo ducks and scores a tornado DDT. He can't reach Tajiri, but Haas and Shelton miscommunicate on a double-team that ends with Shelton spearing Haas. FINALLY Tajiri gets the hot tag and blitzes both men with karate moves. Tarantula to Shelton, but Haas breaks it as we go to commercial. We come back with Shelton suplexing Tajiri for two. Haas in, and the two do a stack German (Shelton suplexing Haas who has Tajiri) for two. To the outside they go, as Tajiri gets tossed onto the railing by Haas before Shelton clotheslines him over. Tajiri returns, but Shelton suplexes and bridges for two. Haas gets the Haas of Pain, but Ultimo breaks. WGTT use the distraction to do their finishing combo on Tajiri... for two. Tajiri ducks a clothesline and connects with the back elbow, hot tag #2 to Ultimo. Ultimo chops away, then connects with a clothesline, but Haas no-sells and Ultimo grabs his arm. CONTINUITY~! Shelton airballs a crossbody, and Tajiri takes him outside. Haas follows, so Ultimo does the ASAI onto the pile. Back in, Shelton goes for an STO, but Ultimo slides underneath and gets an inverted DDT for two. Tajiri Buzzsaws Shelton for two. Haas grabs Tajiri into a powerbomb for two. Shelton and Haas go for the Doomsday Device on Tajiri, but Ultimo clips Haas and Tajiri falls on top for two. Shelton, still on the top rope, gets a missile dropkick for two. Dragon's arm hits the post via Haas, but Shelton's back superplex is blocked when Tajiri flips over BOTH MEN with a sunset flip on Shelton for two. Shelton is up, and Ultimo flips off the top with the Asai DDT for two, but Haas saves. This is just nuts. Finally, Ultimo whips Tajiri into Haas, who stumbles out into the Buzzsaw for three at 31:55 as Ultimo holds Shelton off. The wrong team won the match, but this was the usual level of awesome you'd expect. **** Shannon Moore smashes a chair on Ultimo's arm for good measure, but Paul Heyman runs interference and Tajiri mists him.

- Backstage, the APA are doing what they always do -- namely, drink beer -- when Test and his new gal Dawn Marie show up. Dawn basically challenges the APA to face her new team, and when Simmons rightly points out there's only one of them... Hardcore Holly returns, smashing a pitcher over Simmons' head. Probably better, since Holly's a wasted babyface.

- Hardcore Holly and Test v. A.P.A.. Big brawl to start, of course, and it never really stops. That's fine, because that's what everyone's good at. Bradshaw plays face-in-peril as Dawn Marie's boys pummel him into goo. Test misses the big boot, Bradshaw hits the lariat, hot tag Simmons. Whoop-ass is produced, but the crowd isn't into it. Dawn Marie climbs the apron and gets whacked by Bradshaw, who turns around into the big boot. Simmons eats the Falcon Arrow to finish at 6:26. Energetic mess here. **1/2

- John Cena does his usual rap here, though somewhat uninspired. He calls Rhyno a woman, going so far as to say "Rhyna" to get a cheap rhyme. Um, yeah.

- WWE Title: Kurt Angle v. Matt Hardy. Matt Fact: Matt is twice the man Hurricane is. Huh?? Anyway, Matt challenges Undertaker for next week, so let's see what happens here. Angle blitzes Matt, but Shannon Moore provides the cheapshot. Hardy works Angle's neck with a snapmare, but Angle reverses an early Twist of Fate try into the Northern Lights suplex. Angle heads out, where Hardy bulldogs him on the steps. Back in, legdrop gets two. He hits a mocking pose of Hurricane. Okay, what is this? Even Shannon seems confused. Hardy goes up top a second time, but Angle gets the Pop-Up Superplex. Hardy flips out of the Angle Slam and delivers the Eye of the Hurricane for two. Are they building a cross-promotional feud I don't know about? Hardy misses the shining wizard (oh dear...) and Angle grabs the Ankle Lock. Matt easily makes the ropes -- too easily, if you get my drift. Matt enzuigiris Angle, then hits the Twist of Fate with feet on the ropes for two. Angle seems to snap and delivers FIVE German suplexes in a row, then slaps on the crossface chickenwing, dragon sleeper variation. Okay, OUCH. Hardy taps out at 7:12. Taker comes out and accepts the challenge for next week, but when he does, Shannon tries to attack from behind and Mattitude double-team him. I'm not sure what's going on with Matt and Hurricane, but it really screwed the match up. **1/4 Angle runs into Eddie Guerrero and declares Eddie will never win his title.

- Billy Kidman, Rey Misterio, and Rob Van Dam v. Brock Lesnar, Billy Gunn, and Jamie Noble. Pier Six to start, as everyone pairs off as you'd expect and the faces hit stereo topes on the heels. Back in, RVD opens up on Gunn with kicks and Rolling Thunder. Cheapshot from Lesnar, who comes in and pounds on RVD with angry stuff. Noble gets a crossbody for two. Gunn back in with the One and Only for two (only). Lesnar gets a German, which RVD sells like there's no tomorrow. Gunn and Noble go for a double Dumbasser, but RVD ducks both and hits a double enzuigiri. Hot (?) tag to Rey, who goes all-out on all three heels. Kidman jumps in and gets a swinging neckbreaker on Noble, and Rey gets the West Coast Pop on Gunn for two. Torrie jumps on the apron and snaps Gunn's neck on the top rope, and Kidman rolls him up for the three at 7:24. The opening two minutes made the match -- once they tried the formula, it dragged. This should have been the cruisers doing a spotfest on the heavies, with the occasional power move to hold it together. C'est la vie. *** Gunn challenges Kidman to next week, telling him to put the title on the line. Good, this feud is getting insipid.

- John Cena v. Rhyno. Cena and Rhyno punch away at each other, then take it outside, where Cena goes into the announce table. Spinebuster by Rhyno on the floor, and back in it gets two. Rhyno delivers a SICK DDT on Cena for two. Cena sold like a champ. Cena goes low, but Rhyno replies in turn. Rhyno gets the chain and distracts the referee with it, and while the ref disposes of it, Rhyno clips Cena and posts him. Rhyno dives off the top for two. Rhyno? Okay then. Lariat by Rhyno gets two. Crowd is rabidly booing Rhyno. Cena fights back, hitting a belly-to-belly, but Rhyno reverses the second one and hiptosses Cena over the top rope. Back in, Rhyno gets two. Cena hits the Protoplex out of nowhere for two. Throwback gets two. F-U gets two. Rhyno with the GORE GORE GORE for... two? He tries again, but misses and eats post, and the super fallaway slam finishes for Cena at 6:03. Cena is still over. **1/2

- Next week!

* Hollywood Hulk Hogan v. Eddie Guerrero

* Billy Kidman v. Billy Gunn

* Undertaker v. Matt Hardy

* Ultimo Dragon, Tajiri, and Paul Heyman v. Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin, and Shannon Moore

Certainly a PPV-worthy card so far, but it'll all depend on everyone's mood. If Taker doesn't feel like playing ball, it'll ruin that match. Ditto Hogan. And speaking of...

- Main event: Los Guerreros v. Hollywood Hulk Hogan and Undertaker. Hogan and Taker again ride out on twin bikes, which I hear they're doing at the house shows nowadays. Faces clear house to start, and the Guerreros regroup. Hogan gets the ten punches on Chavo in the corner and the BACKRAKES OF DEATH, but Eddie delivers the cheapshot. Chavo gets a back suplex to make Hogan goblin-in-peril. Interesting. Eddie goes to work on Hogan's leg with a bunch of stomps and holds. Slingshot senton hits the leg. Chavo delivers a kneebuster (like a gutbuster, but not). Eddie in, and the two do a double legdrop on Hogan's leg. Hogan hops around, looking more foolish than I've ever seen him before (yay), so Eddie chop blocks him. Chavo with a figure-four, with Eddie's help of course, but the ref sees it and gets the break. Slam by Chavo for two. Eddie tries for a missile dropkick, but Hogan moves, hot tag Taker. Soupbones for everyone! Hogan tries an axe lariat on Chavo, but Chavo grabs him into a "brainbuster" that's really a suplex. Points for effort, though. It gets two, and Hogan hulks up. Eddie blocks the big boot to Chavo by clipping Hogan from behind, but Chavo runs straight into the chokeslam for the pin at 8:22. Smart idea keeping Eddie and Hogan strong in theory, but I think we all knew from the opening bell who was jobbing here. *1/2 Kurt Angle applauds both men as the credits roll.

The Bottom Line:

Talk about counter-programming at its finest -- they're trying Eddie up top to see if he's credible against the main eventers, and so far the ratings don't show much change. I doubt he'll go over next week, but certainly he'll get a chance to do all his offense and basically wrestle himself. Let's see if it's elevation time, though.

Until next week, BUY THE BOOK!

[DonaldMick]

I really have nothing else to add here.  Oh, well, actually, one more thing: Undertaker's a political bastard in this chapter.  Deal with it.

←

Edited May 7, 2005 by Hurricane Donald

[The Third Dukes]

Okay, so there was quite a bit of discussion as to whether Matt reacted well or poorly. It's at this point that things diverge from the real-life counterpart. It's easy to point fingers when it's just cheating like this. But in this universe, there's a mitigating factor -- she's pregnant. But then again, it isn't his. Confused yet? I know I was.

So, was Matt justified? I thought there was a chance he was. After all, how hard is it to commit to a family that isn't yours, and not on your terms? I can't even begin to imagine. All I know is it's not going to be my problem any time soon. Yup. That's right. No girl of mine will get pregnant. No girl of mine... actually, end the sentence there. I'm pathetic.

So who do you turn to when you've hit rock bottom and you're stuck in North Carolina without a friend in the world? Only the greatest family a girl could hope for. You'll see.

This weekend was the real-life weekend for the 2003 Army/Navy football game. I love watching that game because to me it represents pure college athletics. All the pomp and tradition, the students in full uniform, the Alma Maters, the flyovers -- it just doesn't get better than this for me. And it just fit at the time. Having Andy/Amy relate his/her own mission with theirs -- as corny as it sounded -- likely was a comfort.

Of a secondary comfort, of course, is that Amy didn't fall flat. She's still Lita, after all -- she's still desirable. And as such, she's still desired. That becomes important later, and is actually a subplot that has wormed its way into the BVS EWR universe. And yes, I put it there. Stop laughing.

Oh, and I leave her behind for someone new. Someone different. Someone who got an immediate reaction of "why?" and the occasional request to shave an eyebrow. Yup.

*****

Chapter 57

The Lifeline

Friday, December 05, 2003, 11:47 AM

Cameron, NC

"Amy?"

"Yeah? Who is this?" At first I felt I should know the voice, even though it wasn't one I had spoken to in a long time.

"This is Ric Flair."

"Ric??? THE Ric Flair?"

"That's right, honey. Hey, ol' Mark was just tellin' me about the stuff with you an' Matt, and I wanna let you know that I've talked things over with Beth and the boys down here. If you wanna live with us for the time being, we'd be glad to take care of ya till you get your own place."

"Really? Well, that's... that's wonderful. I'll get packed, and I'll make the trip tonight."

"Great. Lemme give you some directions."

I grabbed a pad and pen and hastily wrote everything down. Just when you're at your lowest, God tosses you a lifeline. I should have known things would work out.

*****

Friday, December 05, 2003, 11:48 PM

Outside Charlotte, NC

I pulled off to the side of the road. The rain was getting worse, and though Amy knew the way, I had never been comfortable driving in the rain. I just sat there and hoped for the best as the traffic whizzed by. I wanted to turn on the radio, but was afraid of what I'd hear.

Right now I was in no mood for any music anyway. I was beginning the long trip to the rest of my life. My suitcases were in the back of an old wagon I had the keys to. I could've found another way, since I wasn't sure whose car it was, but if Matt wanted it back, he could have it. Today, it was just another car.

The rain began form patterns on the windshield. The wipers were on constantly but still couldn't keep a clear picture. I knew Ric or his son Reid would be waiting up for me at the Flair house. I also knew that the longer I was out, the more they'd worry.

For their sake, it was in my best interest to keep going. I couldn't, though. The rain mirrored the tears in my heart, tears I would've never had as Andy and tears I never would have considered as a guy in general. Tonight, though, was different. It wasn't just that I was Amy, female. It was that I was pregnant, and I was homeless. All the money in the world couldn't help me yet. The only thing keeping me from disaster was Ric Flair.

I turned and looked at the stuff in the back. All of Amy's clothing and personal belongings were in there. Every trace of her ever having been in the house was gone, except for one thing. I couldn't bear to bring the picture of us -- the "Someday" picture -- along with my stuff, so I left it out on the kitchen table, where he'd be sure to see it when he got in. I wanted him to know that I still believed in someday.

Out on the road, the cars continued. Some skidded in the rain, nearly losing control. I could see police officers advising people to get off the road if travel wasn't necessary. A few thousand feet ahead, a full rest stop stood. I could've gone in there, but tonight wasn't about being Lita. It was about being Amy, about being Andy, and about fixing a broken life.

I felt a twinge inside my stomach. I looked in the glove compartment and saw a candy bar I knew was kept there for emergencies. I took a bite and attempted to get rid of the pain. I had skipped dinner, so of course my stomach hurt. But the pain reminded me of the child inside me at the time.

My mind spun as the rain began to lighten. Here I was, a male mindset, inside a female body. To make matters worse, I was both possessing and possessed -- I was inside someone, and someone was inside me. All the warning signs had been there, and certainly if it was obvious to Ivory, it had to be obvious to others. Yet I failed to see it until I was told of it.

I remembered looking on the Internet after RAW to read the report of the show. All around, people were talking, whining, complaining, and generally mad at what happened. It wasn't because it was a match stopped, but rather that they thought I wasn't really pregnant. I had kept the news to myself, even now.

I knew from when I was a fan that women getting pregnant -- as a story -- was generally an excuse for bad dialogue and worse plot twists. I knew there probably hadn't been a successful pregnancy angle in the history of sports entertainment. I also knew that, even if Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler had mentioned that I was going on maternity leave, it would be slammed by wrestling fans all over.

I pulled back onto the highway, with the words of people such as Scott Keith, Chris Hyatte, and many others ringing in my head -- their credo as a wrestling fan:

"If it makes it to television, you know it's fake." Just like Montreal, Over the Edge, and Bash at the Beach were all fake, right? Why was I ever a cynical fan?

*****

12:25 AM

Charlotte, NC

I pulled up to the Flair family estate, amazed at how luxurious it had been. As I closed the door, I looked around. No one was up and about -- no one knew where I was. Thank God -- I don't need people to think.

I opened the back seat and slowly got my suitcases out. Each one weighed more than I remembered from packing -- probably due to my fatigue. It had been a long drive from Matt's house to here, but the directions were just fine. My emotional state, on the other hand, could have used a severe rewrite.

I slowly walked the few steps up to the door. I looked back at the wagon, sitting in the driveway, just behind a Lexus that I assumed belonged to Ric. I thought of all the fine suits and flowing robes Ric made fashionable, then looked at my own outfit -- a ratty T-shirt and green cargo pants. I wasn't exactly flat broke, barefoot, and pregnant -- I had shoes -- but this was definitely more than I felt I deserved.

I was half-tempted to just turn around, return to Cameron, and beg for mercy. But now wasn't the time. I saw anger in Matt -- no, more than that, I had seen stubbornness. It was the kind of stubborn behavior that can only go away with time, if it does at all. Everything he did became a personal vendetta. Even on-screen he had gone too far. I didn't have to find home, but there was no way it was wise to stay there.

Slowly, within the drizzle surrounding the Carolinas, I knocked on the door. I waited. At first, there was no answer. Then I heard footsteps. I looked around, trying to determine their origin. Is someone after me? Could there be a prowler here? I didn't know I was so vulnerable! I need to get inside! I pounded on the door, more out of panic than concern I hadn't been heard. It took a few seconds for it to register that the footsteps I had heard were from inside the house.

The door opened. A familiar face answered. He flashed a million dollar smile at me and extended his arms. His face, though scarred through years of hard work, cuts, and bruises, was friendlier than I had ever imagined. It all made me feel like I was re-entering Heaven -- although this man was no god among men.

"Amy, my girl," he said, looking at me with his beautiful eyes and flashing all his crooked teeth, "welcome. We're always here for you."

*****

Saturday, December 06, 2003, 10:45 AM

Charlotte, NC

Ric and Beth -- his wife -- provided the finest comforts for me and seemed not to judge me. Just the fact that they hadn't yet discussed why I was here made me feel more accepted than if they had said it didn't bother them. They seemed to see me, not as a former co-worker young enough to be Ric's daughter, but as Ric's daughter.

As Beth and Reid went out to buy groceries, I looked at Ric. He was decked out in a T-shirt, shorts, and sandals -- hardly the look of the smoothest character ever to grace the ring. He looked almost human, an old man who had his glory. I knew he was in pain every step of the way as he crossed the living room to sit in his favorite chair.

"You know, Amy, the big game is today," he said. "Army and Navy. Best example of college football there is. No scholarships, no recruiting, no money, no NFL scouts, no bowl, nothin'. Just a bunch of guys doin' what they love who are gonna leave the game with respect for each other. You can't touch that anywhere, Amy. Anywhere."

"Yeah, so I've been told. College sports is... well, I'm glad I never got into it." As he sat in the recliner, I began to wonder about this quiet legend. He wasn't the Nature Boy right now -- that much was certain. He was another 54-year-old man, hoping that the angels would keep him intact for one last match or two before he rode off into the sunset. And yet, here was a man who had room in his heart to help a scared young woman who had no one else to turn to. We weren't friends, but he treated me like one. My curiosity overflowed.

"Ric," I finally said, "why are you so nice to me?"

"What do you mean, little lady?"

"Well... this is too much. It really is. You don't even know me that well. I'm just someone you know from work. Why would you inconvenience your family to put up with me?"

"Amy, you're not an inconvenience, girl. You're a little lady who needs to know that someone out there accepts her. Hell, we got the room, and we got the money... we'll do everything short of raising your child for you, kid. You need a place to be right now. You're falling."

"I shouldn't be." What brought that statement on?

"No, no... you've lost at love. You should be falling. It's natural. Honey, you think I picked Beth because I had my choice of a million women in the world? Oh, no. There have been others that ol' Naitch has loved and not been loved by in return. Dozens. Beth was there for me, and she didn't care that I was working some nothing sideshow with a broken back, risking being in a wheelchair every night. She loved me, and I love her. And that's all that mattered."

"No... if that was all that mattered, I wouldn't be here. I'd be on the road, making plans to marry Matt. Or I'd... we'd be picking out items for a nursery back home. Why did he have to dump me when I needed him the most?"

"Amy... I dunno if you'll accept this, but it'll make sense later, you got it?"

I nodded. I also listened. While outwardly I was crying hard, I knew words of wisdom from an old hand were coming from a mile away. I knew Amy had to hear this, and had to take it to heart before she forgot it in her own self-pity.

"Amy... Matt did the right thing. Look, why do you think he didn't wanna sleep with you? He respected you, yeah, but more than that, I think he knew he wasn't ready to be a father. You saw how he was -- you want that man to raise your child?"

"But... but... what he did to me... it was so... hurtful."

"You think that's hurtful? Lemme tell you somethin', cuz I've seen it a thousand times from people I talk to on the road. Parenthood is not a job. It's an act of love. I don't know if you realize what you were asking him to do. You wanted him to pour all his love, all his heart, and all his well-being into someone he didn't want, didn't need, and didn't really do anything to bring about. You were going to take your pain and shove it in his face."

"He couldn't swallow his damn pride? How do I feel? How do you think I feel? I'm gonna spend the next six, seven months turning into a roast turkey. I'm going to lose everything that made me attractive as a wrestler and as a person. The least he can do if he really loves me is help me get through the next 20 years I've been sentenced to. Why can't he do that?"

"Amy, please... calm down, girl."

I tasted a tear falling off my cheek. I walked over to the living room and lay down on the floor, crying and hoping to just fall asleep. Maybe if I fall asleep, I'll wake up back in San Jose, and this will all be a bad feeling Amy had. I must be in a dream. "Ric..."

"Amy... look. I bragged about kissin' the girls and makin' them cry. I bragged about Space Mountain. I bragged about bein' a 60-minute man. But that was an act. I'd never do that -- not to Beth, not to the other women. You know why? Cuz then I'd be putting them where you are now."

"But you... you could've paid for them... you have the money."

"Children deserve parents, not checkbooks. Besides, I've heard things said that can't be heard by the wrong ears. I want you to imagine this. Suppose he had married you, and suppose he did want to raise your kid. You think he's gonna forget why he's a dad? You think he'll keep it secret?"

"I trust him."

"You trust him to keep it from other people. But he'll remind you. Imagine being in an argument with him after the kid's in bed. Imagine he reminds you that he married you to save your kid's name. He says you cheated on him and forced him to do this, and that that kid is nothing more than a burden to him."

"But... he can't believe that."

"I know, sweetheart. We never say what we believe when we're mad. It's all exaggeration and emotion out of control. But you know who doesn't know that? The kid. Now I want you to imagine he hears this. He's gotta live with the fact that he knows -- he may not say, but he knows -- he's a bastard, and his parents gave up the single life for him. He's gotta go through life wondering who his daddy really is, but knowing it ain't the man Mom says she's in love with.

Now think of Matt being told for the first time by that kid that he ain't his real daddy. Matt gets frustrated. He can't reach this child he dedicated his life to raising, even though he wasn't ready. He feels no emotional attachment to him like you will because it's not his child. So he doesn't interact with him. He doesn't treat him with the love that kid deserves. And you're begging for Matt to show respect.

Now his anger's shifted -- it's no longer on the kid who represents his lost freedom, but it's on you, the person who stole it. He goes from loving you to hating you, despising your existence and his marriage. He doesn't want to walk away, but he can't stand it, and he makes it clear every day and every night. Then one day it all boils over, and he can't take the pressure and the anger and the pain any more. And that kid -- that symbol of how you conned him -- is right there asking one question too many, and..."

"Stop! Please, for the love of God, stop!!" I was trembling as I rolled to face him. I felt more fear than hurt, anger, or confusion. His story, his picture was so vivid, I could see the belt in Matt's hand as he talked. I didn't want to hear any more, even though what he described could not and would not happen. I rolled back onto my stomach and buried my face on the carpet. I kept it there until I felt a hand -- an old hand, but a loving, nurturing hand -- upon my shoulder.

"Amy... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, girl. But you gotta know -- this happens. I've seen it happen to people all around my world. They wanna live the high life, they get a girl pregnant, they marry her out of obligation, and the whole thing falls apart. Amy... it was now or later. He's not ready, but he knows it. And you know what -- that makes him a real man."

"Where does that leave me?"

"Amy... you think it's over? You think you're somehow going to be undesirable now? You're still the same wonderful, free-spirited wild child I knew from RAW, and that I helped learn to walk again when you were in rehab. That doesn't change just because you have another generation. There are men who will accept the both of you. There have to be."

"And what if there isn't? You want me to make them choose? Or... maybe I..." No, Andy, don't even think about it. You know that's a child in there -- you've seen the soul within the womb! "...maybe I'd be better off without all this pain. Maybe it'll be better..."

Ric looked at me without judgment. "Amy... I can't answer that for you. You have to decide what to do with your life. I can only guide you and tell you of my life. I can't take over your body and direct your thoughts. I don't have that power. You do. You have to decide if that's what you want. Is it?" I didn't answer. "Is it?"

I slowly shook my head. "No, Ric... no. I'm not a quitter. I have never backed down before. Now's not the time to begin."

"All right, then. C'mon -- lemme help you up." He extended a hand to me. I took it and pulled myself up to my feet with his help. He hugged me with a fatherly embrace. "Don't try to think about it. You're here to be you. Now, sit down, girl -- I'm sure Beth and Reid will be back soon, and David's here for December doin' some injury angle. Let's all watch the game."

He turned on the television and flipped to CBS. I saw the jets fly over and the stadium filled with thousands of men in uniform -- every one of whom had been called to serve, and every one of whom answered the call without hesitation. They may have been in blue and gray instead of red and white, but I knew that watching this game was supposed to remind me of why I was here.

*****

Sunday, December 07, 2003, 03:38 PM

Charlotte, NC

"Shawn? Is that you?"

"Yeah. How are you? You alone now?"

"I am... I'm on my cel and in my room. Well, it's really not my room, but it'll do. I'm staying with the Flairs. They called me on Friday and offered me a spot to live. I'm starting over."

"Yeah, speaking of... you kow you'll be someone else tomorrow, right?"

"I do. And I'm ready to be someone else. I don't know if I could handle another day being a vagabond."

"Hey, I understand. These things are hard to deal with. Just remember: every cloud has a silver lining."

"Yeah... like Jeff's."

"Back up for a second. Does that still bother you?"

"Well... I know, and Amy knows, and... well, Matt doesn't. And now he wouldn't believe me anyway. Or Greg... maybe it's better he doesn't."

"Doesn't know what?"

"Um... You know what? I've said too much. I really have."

"No, no, wait... Andy, were you sworn to secrecy?"

"Yeah."

"...okay... then I'll drop it. Sorry, I've been having a rough time too. I've been working with Michael here on our match... I don't know if the guy's up to it."

"Up to it? In what way?"

"Well, he's going on a Pay-Per-View in front of an audience ten times what he's used to. I can't see how he'll survive more than a few minutes without stage fright. He's been okay in short matches, but... he already knows that about half a million people are watching. It's gonna be too much for him... I'm scared."

"How? Shawn, I was there with him. I was in the ring with him just last week. He was fine."

"No, no -- Lindsay was fine."

"Oh, yeah... that's right... she was Michael... but... what about Benoit? Didn't he get a good match out of him?"

"Andy, be honest -- have you ever seen Benoit NOT get a good match out of someone?"

"Well..."

"Exactly."

"Okay, fine... damn... so much is going on, isn't it?"

"Yeah, you're telling me. Lindsay misses you, by the way. I mean, she's been trying to work on her own problems right now, but she really wishes you could be around to help."

"Maybe I will be tomorrow. Don't see how I couldn't be."

"I know... I know..."

"Shawn? What's really bothering you?"

"You think something else is on my mind, huh? Well... yeah."

"What is it?"

"Um... it's about Lawler."

"Shawn, he got fired. He got proud, and he's gone. What's bad about that? Vince showed respect for the women, didn't he?"

"No, no... I know the right thing was done... kinda... but you see... Jerry helped save me. He and Sean... Waltman, I mean... they were the ones who dragged me to church and out of the lying and deceiving I had been doing. I owe my soul to them. And now he's... well, it's just sad how far he's fallen."

"Yeah... I guess I understand. But you got others. Talk to Lindsay about it. Maybe she can help you through this. You know she and I are both here for you."

"I know... but it's just hard. They haven't even said who'll replace him. I guess JR wants to fly solo next week. Maybe they're holding it off for Armageddon. I don't know. It's all going so quickly. Time is running out."

"In more ways than one."

"What?"

"Shawn... I've had dreams of demons attacking me. And the one always says the same thing. Cave ides Martem. You know what that means?"

"I never took Latin."

"Okay... it's Beware the Ides of March. It's the thing Caesar was told before he was killed. Shawn, you know when the Ides of March are?"

"Sure. They're on March 15th."

"Right! Maybe the demon's taunting me. I think he's planning to kill Vince that day."

"Well, that puts a time limit on things, but that doesn't mean we can't get him saved before then."

"Shawn, it won't be on his mind on the 15th or any day beforehand. Don't you know what falls around that time?"

"March... oh no..."

"Yeah."

"...Dammit! That's good... that's gonna be hard to top. I don't know how we'll get his attention away from his pet project."

"Exactly. We're in deep trouble, Shawn. Deep trouble. Do you... do you know what to do?"

"All we can. We got three months to save him. We got three months to put a full-court press on. But don't you worry about that. Heyman and I will go at it. Sting's coming in soon. We'll work on it. We have to."

"Get as much help as you can. Tell them as much as you can get away with... man, I hate this double life."

"We all do. But we've been called to live it. I could've said no, but I said yes to God... now's not a time to go back on my word, is it?"

"No... not at all."

"Look, I'll do what I can. You get back here tomorrow, and we'll see how much we can do. Soon, this will all be over, and Vince's fate will be decided. I hope God accepts failure."

"He wants our best effort, I'm sure. That's what I got to give."

"Yeah... me too. Let's go with it. I'll get right on it. Thanks."

*****

05:14 PM

The door to my room slowly opened. I looked in the direction of the door as David Flair walked in. He seemed flustered -- more so than usual. His cheeks were a bright red, almost blushing. Yet his presence seemed unassuming, almost as thought he were honored to be near me.

"Amy? Can we talk?"

"Sure. Sit down."

We both sat on the bed. He avoided eye contact, but still showed an interest. He seemed like he had inherited the gift of being trustworthy from his father.

"Amy... I'm sorry this happened."

"David, you didn't do anything. I did this. I just wish I had been more careful. You never think once is enough, do you?"

He chuckled. "All the same, I... I wish there was something I could do. You're a wonderful person, Amy. You're someone who's done a lot to make wrestling better. I wish I could've had half the success you did."

"But David... wrestling's not everything. Can't you just strike out your own path?"

"It's not that. I want to do this. I want to be in wrestling. It's what's been in my family and in my blood since I was born. It's my destiny -- I really think that."

"So do it."

"But... no one wants me. No one thinks I'm worth it. I'll never be able to be a respected wrestler. There's just too much pressure on me. Everyone sees my name and they... they have no patience."

"I don't understand."

"Amy... what's my name?"

"David."

"David FLAIR. F - l - a - i - r. You know what kind of responsibility that carries? Did you see me when I wrestled? I have almost no clue what I'm doing out there. I still don't. I'm... I'm not going to be accepted because I'm a joke. I'm a disgrace."

"David, what are you talking about? Just because you're not the greatest wrestler of all time, you think you're the worst?"

"I might as well be. You remember when they had me be a wrestler in WCW? You remember that they gave me the US Title? They did everything to make me look... well, no. They made the whole thing a joke. I was a joke. I didn't earn it. I didn't pay any dues. I didn't do anything. And that's the problem."

"But that's WCW. No one takes that seriously."

"No... it's national attention. I'm 23, Amy, and I'm expected to be good at what I do. I'm not supposed to be struggling in the minors. I'm supposed to be a superstar by now."

"Says who?"

"Says 'them'!"

"David... you're putting the pressure on yourself. It doesn't matter if you're not your dad. It doesn't matter if you can't reach the top of the game. What matters is that you be what you can be. Maybe you're not cut out to be a wrestler, but you're definitely cut out to be a great person. You know this."

"No... no, it's not that. I have to be good. If I'm not excellent, I'm pathetic. People accused me of making a mockery of the Flair name. I was 19 and I was a disgrace to wrestling. I felt like I couldn't look anyone in the eye any more. This hurt. It hurt a lot. I just want to be something. I wish someone could see past my name and look at me."

"David, I can. I've been laughed at most of my life too. Look at me -- I look like a drug addict when I'm out there. But that's just how I am... and I'm proud of it. You gotta be proud of what you do, too! It's the right thing. So what if you're not your father. Be yourself. Make your children want to be like you."

David's head dropped as he shook it. "I'm not capable. Too many people know about me. I'm always going to be Ric Flair's heir. The one who should have followed in his footsteps, but couldn't handle it. I'm not crazy -- I'm not pathetic -- I'm just... I don't know. I didn't want to be a star right away. I wanted to be me and nothing else. But as long as I'm in a ring, doing what I love, I'm gonna be a Flair. It's just not right."

"Then... do you really want to do this? You have to decide if it's worth the criticisms and sacrifice. No one else can keep you from doing what you want. Be a man, David. Be your own man. Besides, you already are a star in my life."

His eyes quickly turned to me. "What? How?"

"You and your whole family. You helped me when I was at my lowest. You don't think that counts for something?"

"Well... after it's all done, you're still going to be on your own and without a father. There isn't much I can do about that." He paused. An idea seemed to be forming in his head. Before he even said anything, I knew what he was thinking. "Actually, Amy... there is something I can do..."

"David, wait. Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yeah -- why not?"

"David... do you love me?"

"Amy, you're awesome. You're beautiful. You're one of the hottest girls I've met. Every man in the world would want to be able to be with you -- of course I love you."

"No, no... you don't understand. You are infatuated with me. You want me. But do you need me?"

He stared in confusion. "What... Amy, I'm helping you here. I'm giving you the support you're going to need!"

"No. I don't need any guy. I need someone who loves me. David, you're a really sweet guy, but... it wouldn't work. It can't work. Ask your father -- being a parent isn't something you volunteer for. It's something you commit yourself to. I've committed to it... you don't have to."

"I... I don't understand. Do you want to be a single mom?"

"No... but I want to be in love with my husband. David... I just don't know enough to know if you're my type yet. I'm sorry... but... that doesn't mean I can't find out. How about we hit the town for dinner tonight, David? Just see what it's like?"

"You... you mean it?"

"Sure. What can go wrong?"

*****

11:51 PM

We walked together to my room. David stopped for a second. "Thank you, Amy. That was a great time. Thank you for having confidence in me."

"David... you need to have confidence in yourself. You need to see you're worth it. Do you understand? I can only do so much!"

"Yeah... but still... thank you."

"Thank you too."

There was a pause. Something about the evening and the time we had seemed to click within me. If I were myself, right around this time I'd try for a kiss goodnight or more. Why don't I feel the need right now? David saw me and moved closer. I turned it into a hug before he could being awkwardly moving his lips toward me.

We held the hug for a long time. He looked into my eyes. I closed them and waited for him to decide. It didn't take long.

As we kissed, he began to move his hands behind me. I felt them move under my shirt and abruptly stopped. "David, wait... no. I'm not doing that."

"Wh-- what's wrong? Don't you like me?"

"Yes... and if you did, you'd respect me when I say stop. I'm sorry, but... well..." I touched my stomach as I looked at him with a look that pleaded for him to understand.

"Oh... okay. I guess..."

"David, understand me. It's not you. It's that I... I lost control before, and it's why I'm ten weeks pregnant and stuck in a guest room. I'm not doing it again. Just please -- trust me. I'll give you a second date... you don't need to win me over."

"Okay... sure."

"Thanks." I kissed him quickly on the lips and opened the door behind me. "Good night." As the door closed, I turned on the light. I felt something inside me -- not the child, or nausea, but a feeling of accomplishment. I had made David feel better about himself -- and maybe, just maybe, Amy too.

*****

Monday, December 8, 2003, 09:15 AM

Anaheim, CA

The alarm clock went off. I slammed it down and looked around. I wasn't back in Charlotte -- I had returned to my new life. But what new life?

I heard a voice from the other bed in the room. "You ready to go, buddy?"

"Yeah, I am," I replied. "Today's a big day." How big? I'd better see first.

I jumped out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and turned on the water in the shower. As my eyes cleared, I looked into the mirror. I'm not sure I was ready for what I saw.

No more red hair, no more tattoos, and no more pregnancy. In fact, no more female traits at all. Instead, it was bald head, darker skin, and understated features -- well, except for the eyebrows.

Lindsay had done this before. Now, it was my turn to be Maven.

[chrishardcore]

Dukes its always brilliant to read this diary and i wasn't nagging i was just curious as to whether you would continue to post. Its always a treat checking the diarys page and seeing you have updated the thread.

[The Third Dukes]

Part Five was entitled "With Arms Wide Open". Anyone who has heard that song by Creed knows what the not-so-hidden meaning is -- Scott Stapp is reflecting on his impending fatherhood. In the same way, this section is very much about the impending family times -- mostly Lita's. However, it would be too predictable for me to become Matt -- even by this diary's standards. And I already hit Hurricane. So I decided to take a bystander's view this time.

Maven was, as is standard operating procedure in the WWE, in limbo. This time, it was with Rob Conway, as they formed a New Blood tag team. I formed that team in friggin' September of 2003 and by the time WrestleMania 21 rolled around I STILL didn't have a damn clue what to do with them. So before you go praising my booking, remember -- I've wasted 18 months of Rob Conway in a spectacularly worse fashion than the WWE ever did. So there.

Anyway, as part of taking a side view, I decided to see what Matt and Lita would be saying in public. The irony about this is that in real life, Matt got put on a leave of absence from the WWE. In my world, his punishment was to get mugged by Undertaker. One wonders what the wrestler's court must've been like over on SmackDown, eh? JBL woulda had a field day prosecuting Matt.

And not in the shower either. Pervs.

There's a pretty big RAW and SmackDown! here, as Hogan/Eddie takes place. I'd like to think it would be a decent match in real life, with Hogan carrying the heat and Eddie carrying the workrate -- kind of a Hogan/Savage style. But it didn't click in EWR. C'est la vie. Meanwhile, the tag team tournament reaches the finals, which is also fun. And from the "stupid WWE booking" department, Rey Rey loses a match in San Diego and Paul Heyman wrestles. Really.

So, in closing, this chapter is what we'd call "there".

*****

Chapter 58

Throwing Stones Under the Glass Ceiling

Monday, December 08, 2003, 11:44 AM

Anaheim, CA

I grabbed my things and headed downstairs to where I knew Shawn would be waiting for me. As I entered the car, I saw Chris Nowinski and Rodney Mack heading over to where Jazz was waiting. Rodney and Jazz shared a kiss before getting on the van. Lucky them. I don't care how someone looks; if they've got someone to love, then to that person they're a perfect 10.

As I stood in front of the car, Nowinski returned. He placed his stuff by the side of the car and waited with me. An uneasy silence followed.

"So, Chris," I said, trying to get the formality out of the way, "you're riding with us today?"

"Us?" He eyed me suspiciously.

"Yeah. HBK offered me a ride. Did he offer you one too?"

"Oh, yeah. I don't know why he wants to converse with us, though. I suppose he'll have us putting his nephew over at house shows. Such is life."

"C'mon, man... Shane ain't that much better than we are, is he?"

"Not important. It's all about who you can associate yourself with, isn't it?"

"I suppose." I paused, then smirked. "Did you ever think it would be like this?"

"Like what?"

"Well, I mean, here we are. We went through months of training together, and we came up through the ranks together... and now... two years later, we're in the tag division. Did you think we'd be regulars on TV this soon?"

"Personally, I thought I'd be higher up than this. I mean, the match with Booker at SummerSlam... I thought that was something bigger. Now I'm just another wrestler in the midcard. You are too -- don't delude yourself. You saw how much attention we got at Survivor Series."

"Next to the Dudleys? That's just the way it is. They're the stars. Just watch -- when we face them tonight... well, IF we face them tonight... they'll get all the accolades. We'll be forced to play the bad guys."

"Of course you will. But you and Robert... I don't know. It's going to be unusual, since by your nature you don't have the moves to handle being the heels."

I shook my head. "I don't know. I think I have more than you realize."

"Oh, really?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Have you and Al been training again?"

"Haven't you?"

"To some extent. But the problem is, I have other things to worry about."

"Such as?"

"Well, I don't want to say too much, but... right now I feel that I have to pay attention to the people around me. Especially now that Amy's rejoining us... you know, she had such a rough week last week."

"How do you know?"

"Oh, I can't say. It came to me in a dream, let's say. Her spirit contacted mine."

"Chris, are you pulling my leg?"

Before he could answer, Shawn arrived and unlocked the car doors from the top of the stairway. "Okay, guys," he said without hesitation. "Let's get going. We got work to do."

We both climbed in as Shawn looked at us through the glasses and smiled. We turned to each other and laughed.

"Did you know?"

"Kind of... you?"

"I had a good feeling."

*****

02:23 PM

"Rob, Rob!"

"What is it, Mave?" Rob Conway was paying more attention to his PlayStation game than he was to me at the time. I knew Maven was an exciteable person, so I figured that Rob was just waiting for me to get it out of my system. Little did he know that I actually had a purpose in talking to him.

"We gotta work on what we're going to say tonight."

He instantly paused the game and turned to face me. "Say? Tonight? Us?" His eyes grew wide. "You're kidding... wh-what about?"

"The tournament. We're going to face the Dudley Boyz later tonight to see who takes on Evolution for the titles."

"Right... do we win?"

"Rob, we'll get to that later. Right now, we have to work on what to say... let's see, what kind of interview can we do?"

"Well, how about just a straight up one? I mean, we're just a couple of regular babyfaces taking on another couple of babyfaces. It's not like we have to bring any spite or anything like we did with La Resistance or with Nowinski and Mack."

"Yeah, that's true... but... look, we're scheduled to talk right after the match is over. Are we even going to know the result?"

"It depends. Is it just us?"

"I don't know... man, we'd better talk to Eric. This night is going to be rough."

"You said it. And that's just on us. Imagine how the viewers feel with JR going solo."

"Oh, I almost forgot... does anyone know who the new guy's going to be?"

"Not at all. Vince is gonna tell us right before Armageddon."

"Not until then? How typical of the guy to leave it till the last minute."

"I know... Cornette would've had it filled the next day, know what I mean, Mave?"

"Exactly."

*****

06:38 PM

Rob and I took deep breaths as we watched the Dudley Boys and La Resistance on the monitor. JR seemed slightly confused as to how to handle being on his own, and it was clear he was already missing the interplay he had with Lawler on most matches. Of course, his explanation for Lawler being fired -- which basically boiled down to "insensitive comments" -- struck me as being forced. Then again, I guess the real reason wouldn't make much sense.

A camera flashed on next to us as I saw our images on the split screen. I leaned over and whispered something to Rob, who nodded. He then pointed at the screen as we both winced. D-Von had just hit a DDT on Dupree, who did a full headstand before giving a glassy-eyed sell. The match went back to full-screen.

"You thought about what you'll say?" I asked Rob.

"Yeah... but I'll play off of you... how's that?"

"I suppose."

"Maven?"

"Yeah, Rob?"

"I'm really nervous."

"So am I. This is our big moment. Let's not blow it."

"Right."

The match came to a finish as La Resistance hit the Crepe on D-Von. Road Dogg entered the ring as the ref was escorting Dupree out. Grenier was grabbed from behind into the Dogg Pound pumphandle powerslam. D-Von rolled on top as Dogg left, and the referee counted the three. 3 Live Kru had returned the favor to La Resistance -- both teams were now indirectly responsible for eliminating each other.

I'm guessing they'll face each other at Armageddon.

"Ten seconds, guys."

"You ready for this, Rob?"

"Yeah... let's do it."

"Three -- two -- one --"

We were shown looking at the monitor as we waited for the several second delay to put our faces on it. Once it did, I began.

"You know, Rob... it's funny. Last month we were teaming with the Dudley Boyz, and now we're teaming against them. Something tells me all that friendship's out the window."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But the Dudleys -- they may be tag team legends, but they're old news. Don't forget, Mave, we're the New Blood! We're the wave of the future! And the future begins tonight, doesn't it?"

"Oh yeah -- I hope Evolution's taking notes, because they'll need them after we get done with the Dudleys."

"Let's get ready."

"All the way, Rob."

We walked off as the camera continued filming where we were before going to commercial.

*****

07:31 PM

Our music played as we entered via the curtain to a decent reaction. I could tell that we weren't the biggest names on the roster yet, but with the push we got to the finals of the tag team title tournament's winner's bracket, there was a chance we could amount to something. Perhaps this was yet another push for Maven, and Conway would be along for the ride.

All thoughts of being able to get a good reaction went right out the window, however, as the fireworks returned to the stage for a second time. Bubba Ray and D-Von's heat made ours seem like OVW all over again. I looked to Rob and shook my head. "Guess we're the heels."

"I guess," he deadpanned.

The Dudleys headed to the ring and stared us down. We all looked back and forth at each other. Bubba Ray mouthed some words of discouragement at us. "Those titles are coming with us," I countered. Eventually we all shook hands and went to our corners to talk strategy.

"So," I said to Rob, "you wanna start?"

"Might as well," he replied. "If we're the faces, you make the better hot tag." I high-fived him and stepped onto the apron. It was only after about a minute that I realized he had just told me he thought he was the superior wrestler.

Rob Conway and Bubba Ray Dudley started with a lockup as I shouted words of encouragement from the corner. Conway helped Bubba through a chain wrestling sequence for the first 30 seconds before Bubba stood up and reared back to punch him, stopping short. They locked up again, but this time Bubba pushed Conway to a neutral corner and unloaded on him with punches. He added an avalanche on a cross-corner whip, but the second time he tried it I was ready. I pulled Rob out of the corner, which sent Bubba Ray crashing into the turnbuckles.

Conway tagged me in, and I stomped down Bubba Ray. I whipped him into the ropes and followed with a flying forearm, trying to improvise my way out of a difficult situation. I picked Bubba up and hit a standing dropkick. He didn't fall down, but from my position, I switched into a drop toe hold, landing him on the second rope. I ran the ropes and vaulted over the top, snapping Bubba's neck on the second rope on the way down.

I shook the shock out of my leg on the floor, then turned around to return to the ring. Unfortunately, D-Von was waiting for me. He slammed my head into the apron, then threw me into the steps. I lay there as D-Von picked me up and returned me to the ring, where Bubba was waiting. Bubba stomped me a few times, then brought in D-Von. Apparently, the decision had been made.

D-Von went to the top rope as Bubba slammed me down. Bubba yelled to D-Von, who returned the favor. I simply watched from between my legs as D-Von came flying off the top rope. Please don't hit it for real please please please...

Whew. He didn't, but I sure acted like he did. With that, I rolled out of the ring and regained my senses as Bubba and D-Von prepared the crowd for some tables. Fortunately, D-Von came out to where I was. I clubbed him in the back with my forearm, then tossed him into the railing. I scaled the apron and looked down at him, then dove. I hit him with an elbow to the face as I landed on my feet. Satisfied, I returned D-Von to the ring and tagged Conway back in.

I placed D-Von on the turnbuckle and ducked down. Conway climbed up top as I got him on my shoulders. I counted to three, then leaned backward. All three of us crashed to the mat, with D-Von having been tossed halfway across the ring. I rolled out as Rob covered for two before Bubba Ray broke it up.

I darted back in and began to pound on Bubba as all four of us went at it. In the chaos, the Dudleys whipped us to each other. I held my arm out as he went by and we do-si-doed in the middle of the ring before I sent Rob into Bubba. He hit a monkey flip on Bubba from the corner, then climbed the top rope. I tripped D-Von as he went by, then waited for one of them to get up. Rob dove off as I aimed at the knee, and we connected with the Hi-Lo Dropkick on Bubba. Conway covered, but somehow only got two before Bubba got his shoulder up.

D-Von tried to attack from behind, but we got into a slugfest. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that Bubba had tossed Conway over the top rope. The ref came over to us and gave the go home signal. I kicked D-Von and tried to whip him into the ropes, but he reversed. As I returned, Bubba Ray got into position. Elevator up, elevator down. D-Von covered, and it was Evolution vs. the Dudleys at Armageddon.

The Dudley Boyz celebrated as I lay prone on the mat for a full 20 seconds. Conway returned to the ring to pick me up, by which time the Dudleys were headed out of the ring. We stopped them before they left. Their music stopped. The moment was tense in the arena. However, we simply shook their hands and left through the crowd.

Rob and I had been in the biggest match of our career. We lost, sure, but we lost fighting. I'm sure the crowd had more respect for us. They might have even applauded us had they not been too busy seeing Orton and Batista beat up the Dudleyz back in the ring. No matter -- the writers knew we could cut it.

*****

09:44 PM

"So, Shawn, is that the full card?"

"Yeah, it is... doesn't have results or anything on it, but it's basically who's who. Oh, they say you two can have a match at Heat before Armageddon if you talk to Bischoff tomorrow. Maybe you and your tag partners, you know, guys?"

"Wow. Think of it, Lindsay... we can be opponents!"

"All the same... I think I'd rather not."

"Why? Isn't this what you want?"

"I couldn't do it. I just... I don't feel right. And I don't think you would either."

"I gave you a Stunner a few weeks ago, didn't I?"

"That's different. That was a quick thing. A whole match? I thought about this while you were in the Carolinas. Andy, a whole match would be difficult for me to get through emotionally. I... I don't even want to pretend to hurt you, you know? I'm sorry if that makes me unprofessional, but the fact is... you're too special to me."

"Thanks... well, I guess that's that. We'll be watching back at the hotel."

"Not quite," Shawn said. "You two will be in the locker room with the rest of the boys. Meanwhile, Gerwitz says he wants New Blood on the show somehow, so... I suggest you think about that."

"Sure, Shawn," I said as I scanned over the card. "Hey, Shawn... how'd this mixed tag match get here? The rest makes perfect sense, but that?"

"Oh, that's right, you were planning your match. Well, Ivory's the new Women's Champion. They got it off of Molly and onto her. Molly's going to be doing the Chyna thing now. Anyway, she lost the title because Big Show chokeslammed her. Hurricane, of course, saved his tag team partner, and there you go. Simple stuff, really."

"Yeah, that's true. But... I don't know. It's like the whole thing seems rushed."

"No more rushed than anything else that night."

"I guess... hey, Shawn, are you gonna put your nephew over?"

"If they want me to... but I don't think the guy's ready yet. I hear they have other plans for him."

"Like what?"

"I'd better not give it away. You'll see at Armageddon -- that's all I can tell you."

*****

Thursday, December 11, 2003, 07:35 PM

Orlando, FL

"Holy crap... Mave, get over here!"

"What is it, Rob?" I bolted from my bed where I had been reclining to view SmackDown! and headed to the computer. Rob was staring at a news announcement from WWEMattitude.com, where Matt Hardy posted a series of thoughts. Rob pointed me to the top of the page and let me read it.

"I can't believe it," he said as I sat down.

*****

Greetings, MFers!

Today I want to discuss something very serious: betrayal. As you know, the Book of Mattitude preaches of loyalty. Part of this loyalty is to those who you know and love the most. Well, this week, Matt Hardy (Version 1) suffered a serious loss of loyalty from the person he expected it to belong to the most.

Two people I knew for a long time have stabbed me in the back. They did this without hesitation and at a time when I was most in need. While I was originally willing to set aside problems and continue with a normal life, extenuating circumstances have made this impossible. I do not wish to divulge more, although it would serve them right to be viewed as the vermin they are.

Those of you who viewed SmackDown! last week know of at least one person whom I speak of. The other should be obvious. Neither of these people are a part of the ways of Mattitude any more. I have washed my hands of them completely.

I know some people think I have overreacted, but I feel I am in the right in my actions. They committed the act of treason when they broke my loyalty, my trust, and most importantly, my innermost emotion. For this, they should be seen as worthless. I am glad I am on SmackDown! right now, so that I do not have to see them every day.

The lesson, MFers, is thus: be careful who you trust and who you befriend. You never know when the people you are closest to will do something inexplicably despicable. Be on guard, and trust only yourself. It is the best way to avoid being hurt.

Thank you for listening,

Matt Hardy V-1

*****

"Holy crap... Rob, you remember last week's show?"

"Yeah... he was doing all those poses and... so one of them's Hurricane. But who's the other one?"

"I'm not sure." Or, more to the point, I can't tell. "Wait... what do you suppose he meant by innermost emotion?"

"Sounds like he was trying to avoid saying something, doesn't it?"

"Yeah... like love, maybe?"

"Maybe... wait, you're not saying that Lita and Hurricane... whoa, that would be weird. I wonder how that would've come about?"

Don't break character, Andy. "How what would've?"

"Think about it, Mave. What's the biggest betrayal a person's girlfriend can make?"

"To cheat on him?"

"Yeah! And we already know Hurricane is in Matt's doghouse, so..."

"Wow. You think they had an affair?"

"Would it shock you? Look at how the women around here act! Look at Trish -- she's basically coming on to anyone on RAW with a p..."

"Yeah, yeah, Rob... but... after what Darren did... you think maybe we should assume otherwise?"

"I guess... I just don't know. Maybe Matt was being paranoid."

"Maybe... still, it'll be interesting to see tonight's show. He's facing the Undertaker."

"Uh oh... that's not good."

"So you've heard of his rep too, huh?"

"Heard of it? Everyone knows about it. It's one of the stories in OVW. You go to SmackDown!, you gotta impress the Taker. He's the judge of whether you have it. It's why Nick's contract wasn't renewed -- he didn't have it."

"You're kidding, right? I saw some great matches with him."

"Maybe... but he got too much too soon. He'll be fine on the indies. He's demanding top dollar anyway."

"Yeah -- I saw Wildside couldn't afford to bring him back."

"Exactly. Anyway, enough talk. Let's go watch SmackDown!."

"I'm with you, Rob."

*****

- The SmarKDown! Rant for Dec. 11 / 03, taped Dec. 09.

- From San Diego, CA

- Your hosts are MC Doofus and the Tazzman.

- Opening match, Tornado tag rules: Paul London and Los Maximos v. Rey Misterio, Zach Gowen, and Rob Van Dam. Let the party begin! Huge brawl to start, and the heels clear out. RVD and Rey chuck Zach onto the heels, then each follow on their own. Back in as Rey and RVD give London a Hart Attack for two. Jose lands a crossbody on RVD, but Rey breaks it up. Zach hits a missile dropkick on London, but Joel is right there to get a somersault senton on Zach. RVD starts kicking Jose into oblivion, but London gets a German suplex on RVD for two. Zach gets tossed by his leg into the turnbuckle, where Los Maximos hit Poetry in Motion. Rey gives London the 6-1-9, but the West Coast Hop is thwarted by Joel spearing Rey in mid-air. RVD gets Rolling Thunder instead for two. Zach hops onto RVD's back for his own Poetry in Motion onto Jose. London and Joel do a double superkick, and the heels clear the ring, then hit stereo triple topes. Have I mentioned how fast-paced this is? Rey climbs to the top but London slams him off, so Zach drops London throat-first on the top rope. London staggers into a crucifix from Rey for two. The Jose monkey flips RVD into a powerbomb from Joel for two. Zach throws himself at London for two. RVD hits a spinning kick on Jose, then a stepover enzuigiri on Joel. He tries the same on London, but London ducks and sweeps out RVD, followed up with a standing moonsault for two. Zach gets a leg lariat on Jose, which sends him into an armdrag takedown from Rey. Corkscrew moonsault from Zach onto London gets two. RVD follows with the split-legged variety for two. Cole and Tazz are absolutely out of their league here. Joel gets a rana off the top rope on Zach for two. RVD goes for a springboard bodyblock, but London ducks it. However, in ducking, he sets himself up for a Fame-asser off the top from Rey. Then, just to complete the insanity, RVD hits the Five Star on London for two as Jose saves. Ye gods. Zach with the Sharpshooter on London, but Jose and Joel deliver a front-and-back dropkick to knock him down. Yeah, none of that wrestling stuff in THIS match. London rolls to the outside, so Rey gets a somersault tope con hilo to knock both of them out. Gowen is sent packing by the Maximos, who then debut the Spanish Fly on RVD (called "What the hell" by Tazz -- yeesh). Gowen saves at two. London finishes RVD with the London Bridge at 14:22. The Maximos and Gowen are total spot machines and nothing much else, but the three wrestlers played along and produced a nice hot opener. *** Cole correctly calls the Spanish Fly on the replay in between gasps of breath.

- Backstage, Undertaker does some shadow boxing, then gets nailed by both members of Mattitude. Hardy tells Shannon to do right in the next match. Speaking of Matt, he posted a rambling diatribe on WWEMattitude.com basically accusing Lita and Hurricane of betraying his trust somehow. Combine this with the fake pregnancy thing Lita's doing, and I wonder why the WWE would try to work the internet over something 99% of their fans aren't aware of. And don't tell me it might be true -- it was on TV, and Vince McMahon wouldn't put something on TV unless it were part of the show. Duh.

- Team Japan and Paul Heyman v. World's Greatest Tag Team and Shannon Moore. Ultimo and Shelton start, to the shock of no one. Ultimo goes nuts with kicks, and Tajiri adds a handspring elbow for two. Haas in, and Ultimo gets a headstand headscissors for two. Heyman tags in and immediately gets pummeled by WGTT. Wait, HE'S face in peril? Shelton gets the leapfrog choke, but refuses to cover. Moore in, and a headscissors gets two, broken up by Tajiri with a stiff kick to the head. Both men up, and Moore and Haas get a double DDT. Benjamin tries for the 450 but misses. Ultimo tosses Shelton from the ring, then dives onto all three heels to buy time for Heyman to make the hot tag to Tajiri. Tarantula for Haas, GREEN MIST OF DOOM for Shelton, and Buzzsaw Kick for Moore. Ultimo runs in and a huge brawl breaks out, and in the chaos, Moore grabs Heyman and gives him the Twist of Fate for the pin at 7:44. The formula was a little screwy, but it helps transition the heat from WGTT to Mattitude, so there ya go. **1/4 Moore acts like he's won at the Olympics, which is rather funny.

- Undertaker v. Matt Hardy. Matt Fact: Matt doesn't hang out with prostitutes. Second Matt Fact: Matt is toast in this match. Okay, I added that one. Taker punches away to start, as Matt bounces like a maniac. Lariat by Taker follows, and Matt bails, so Taker tosses him into the steps. Back in, Taker gets a big boot and chokeslam. Matt slides out of the Last Ride, but Taker just clubs him down. OLD SCHOOL ROPEWALK OF DOOM follows. Matt tries to fight out, but Taker no-sells and continues pounding him. Taker gets a choke lift and tosses Matt from the ring to the railing. This is a mugging. Back in, Taker gets a second chokeslam and the Last Ride to finish at 4:41. What the hell? *3/4 No, seriously, what happened THERE? Is Matt seriously a threat to anyone's spot in the main event? Why the hell have Undertaker squash ANOTHER rising star? And don't tell me about Cena: he got over DESPITE the Undertaker, not because of him. Something around here stinks, and it smells of creative control and locker room politics. I can't believe this garbage. Let's just move on before I throw my laptop at the TV screen.

- US Title match: Billy Gunn v. Billy Kidman. Gunn attacks to start as Nidia and Torrie yell at each other in lieu of doing something important. Kidman comes back with elbows and a rana, but Gunn dodges a dropkick. Military press slam gets two. One and Only gets two. Gunn stomps away (great moveset, Monty) and hits a slam for two. Jackhammer gets two, and we HIT THE CHINLOCK. Kidman elbows out and takes over with a series of armdrags, causing Gunn to leave. Kidman goes for a tope suicida, but Gunn blows catching him and Kidman SPLATS on the padding below. Brilliant. Back in, Gunn gets two. Gunn tries for a second One and Only, but Kidman beals him over and dropkicks the back of his head for two. Gunn up, and a hiptoss and tilt-a-whirl slam get two. Gunn goes back to the chinlock, but Kidman slips out and starts dropkicking into a DDT for two. Kid Krusher is shoved off, and Gunn gets a powerslam for two. Gunn then makes the cardinal mistake of any Kidman opponent: he goes for a powerbomb. Kidman gets two. Nidia climbs onto the apron as Gunn gets the belt, but Kidman superkicks the belt into his face. Nidia dives in -- and lands on Gunn as Kidman dodges. Shooting Star Press finishes it off for Kidman at 8:03. Way too much Billy Gunn, but thankfully no title change. **1/4 Kidman and Torrie kiss to celebrate.

- And now, from the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska, it's YOUR Armageddon report!

* Wheel of Death, World Title: Kane v. Chris Benoit

* Intercontinental Title: Booker T v. Christian

* World Tag Team Title Tournament Final(s): Evolution v. Dudley Boyz

* Goldust v. Triple H

* Michael Shane v. Shawn Michaels

* Hurricane and Molly Holly v. Big Show and Ivory

* 3 Live Kru v. La Resistance

- Definitely going to be an interesting show as far as the direction of RAW is concerned. I can't see which match will get the time, though: maybe Michaels/Shane, but even that is a rookie against a legend. The main event will depend almost entirely on which match the wheel lands on, of course.

- Kurt Angle and John Cena v. Brock Lesnar and Rhyno. You notice that the announcers have been pointing out the You Suck chants more and more? Just thinking out loud again. Cena and Lesnar start, and Cena gets a quick German suplex and fallaway slam. Rhyno delivers a clothesline to take Cena down, so Angle tackles him and all four are at it. Lesnar delivers a lariat to Cena to make him face-in-peril, though. Rhyno with a powerslam for two. Gorilla press (delivered ten times better than Billy Gunn did) gets two. Brock in, and he hits the bearhug and spinebuster for two. Overhead suplex gets two. Let the parade of neck injuries continue, eh? Cena ducks a clothesline and delivers a DDT out of desperation, hot tag Angle. Angle goes ballistic with overhead suplexes on both men, then gets a tornado DDT on Brock for two. Rhyno hits the GORE GORE GORE on Angle, but Cena clocks Brock with the chain to counter as the ref escorts Rhyno out. Angle slowly gets up and rolls over for two. F5 is slipped out of, and Angle gets a clip and Angle Lock for the tapout at 7:54. Felt rushed, you know? **1/2 Cena seems to be losing his motivation here, perhaps because he's in a tough situation. Clearly, the hot feud is Angle/Eddie, and Rhyno, although a good opponent, would just clutter things. A move to RAW, though helpful, would probably make things more difficult with Spike TV's censors than it's worth. Let's hope they find something for him to do.

- An awesome video package for the main event tonight points out the big difference between the two: 12 to 0, the number of World title reigns. Cole calls it Guerrero's biggest match of his career, and it's hard to argue with that.

- Main event: Eddie Guerrero v. Hulk Hogan. Both men get HUGE pops on entering, and the crowd is practically divided. Kurt Angle joins our heroes on commentary, as Hogan wins the LOCKUP OF DOOM and poses. Eddie pops out with dropkicks and a DDT, then he poses for the crowd. The marks are clearly in Hogan's corner, but Eddie's got his fans and they're doing everything to drown out Hogan's. Angle says he'd rather face Hogan because Eddie "is a flash in the pan who's made it due to his heritage and not his talent." Is Vince telling him to say that? Eddie gains the edge by going low on a lockup, but Hogan won't go down from punches. Eddie gets sent into the corner, and the ten punches and bite follow. Eddie bails to the outside, so Hogan follows and clubs him down. Eddie sends Hogan into the steps, then jaws with Angle. Back in, Eddie gets the slingshot senton for two. Eddie dropkicks Hogan's knee, then grabs him in a sleeperhold. Hogan backs him into the turnbuckle as the crowd is chanting both "Hogan" and "Eddie", making it sound like "Hoagie". I'm hungry for an Eddie win, myself. Hogan gets the backrakes, but Eddie reverses a whip into the ropes and scores an abdominal stretch. Hogan hiptosses Eddie out and follows with elbowdrops for two. Hogan goes to the headlock, but Eddie gets a back suplex for two. Eddie goes up top and dives off with a headscissors (it was supposed to be a rana, but Hogan rolled with it instead). Eddie baseball slides Hogan's gut, sending him outside, where Eddie dives off with a plancha. Hogan's got his selling boots, I'll give him that. Back in, Eddie gets a Flair pin for two. Eddie's fans are just RABID here in trying to get more noise. Hogan punches Eddie down and hits a chinlock as we take a break. We come back with Eddie elbowing out and going low as the announcers find a way to tell us that, yes, the chinlock basically lasted that long. Okay then. Eddie gets a drop toehold and a kneebar, but Hogan makes the ropes. Eddie drags Hogan back and kicks at his leg a few times before legdropping the leg. Hogan can barely stand as Eddie delivers a Shining Wizard for two. Figure-four is blocked once, but not twice. Hogan manages to reverse it as they dive to the ropes. The number of ways they're disguising Hogan's immobility is staggering here. Eddie goes up top, looking for the frog splash, but Hogan limps over and slams him off as the fanbase is getting into a chant war. Angle acknowledges the crowd will probably support his opponent because "they're jealous of a winner". Huh. Hogan tries for a slam, but the knee gives out and Eddie falls on top for two. I was wondering when they'd do that spot. Eddie finally hits the frog splash... for two, of course. Hulk up, but Hogan's leg gives out during the big boot. Eddie tries for a figure-four, but gets kicked off and wipes out the ref. Angle runs in and gives Hogan the Angle Slam, but Eddie delivers a brainbuster to him to get him to leave. Angle drops the belt on the way out, though. Eddie gets the belt and waits for Hogan to get up, but Hogan sees it and boots the belt into Eddie's face, barely able to stand. Legdrop misses, and Eddie goes for a cradle as the referee crawls over for... two. I thought that would be it. Eddie punches the ref out, and Angle returns to give Eddie the rolling Germans. Could they be doing a three-way? Hogan sees Angle and tosses him out, then limps over to Eddie and powerbombs him as a second ref joins us and clears out the belt. Eddie goes low again, then gets two rolling vertical suplexes (very slowly), but Hogan blocks the third one and delivers a chokeslam and legdrop for the pin at 21:44. Match was 10 minutes of action stretched to 22, including the run-ins, but I think they just wanted to see how the crowd went. Eddie's no miracle worker, though, and even though Hogan played ball, the two didn't click. Well, let's see if Angle can do better at the Rumble. 3/4*

The Bottom Line:

Certainly not a BAD show by any means, but not the blowaway show you'd expect opposite a PPV. The opener was totally spotty and will likely mean nothing in the long run, and pairing people with their opposites (Hogan with Eddie, Gunn with Kidman) won't do anyone any good any time soon. Putting off Eddie's title shot when the crowd is DEMANDING it makes me wonder if McMahon really doesn't have faith here.

Oh well, I know I do.

*****

Friday, December 12, 2003, 09:33 AM

AmyDumas.net

Hello.

You've seen Matt Hardy's diatribe about trust and betrayal, and you probably are wondering what it's about. I suppose some of you believe that I have done something to hurt him, or that our relationship is on the rocks. I wish to discuss this as well as other comments that have been made.

The truth is that, yes, Matt and I are no more. The reason why is one I'm going to have to ask all of you to evaluate on your own. You may side with him or with me, but at this time, I want you to believe in our eventual reconciliation, no matter who you think is at fault.

Back in late September, after returning from Jeff's funeral, Gregory Helms (Hurricane) and I were sharing a hotel room for cost purposes. I had no intention of doing anything while we were together, but I gave him a goodnight kiss to let him know we were in this together as friends. I wish it had ended there, and I had every intention of it ending there.

The next morning, Hurricane was finally having it set in that Jeff was dead. I wanted to comfort him, and I had every intention of letting him know he could count on me for support as I counted on him. Things were said, and things were done that I deeply regret. I apologized profusely to Matt, as did he. I thought all was forgiven.

Last week, though, I learned that what I thought was a one-time mistake had long-lasting and permanent consequences. I found out I was nine weeks pregnant, and because I had never given myself to Matt, there was little doubt who the father was. I went to confront Matt and let him know about this, and when I did, he exploded in anger. He accused me of betraying him and trying to get him to bail me out. It got so bad that Mark (Undertaker) had to try to force Matt to apologize for his outburst, which he never did.

As soon as I could, I went back to Cameron and packed my belongings. I am now living in a guest room with the Flair family in Charlotte until such time as I can find housing of my own. Ric and his family have been so nice to me, particularly David, who has expressed willingness to do whatever is necessary to make my pregnancy easier. I just wish I could say the same for others.

I do not blame or hate Gregory -- he is as confused as I am about what to do. I know that abortion is something I cannot consider, but I also feel scared of facing single motherhood. I wonder if my career is over now. I need time and prayers to get me through this next very difficult portion of my life.

Please, help me -- advice, prayers, anything would be appreciated. I'm facing this by myself, but it's another challenge I'm willing to take on. I knew this time would come eventually when I would be a mother -- it's just faster than I imagined. I'll need all the luck and help I can get.

Amy

[The Third Dukes]

This is a quick side-chapter that bears no connection to anything else in the week, but really deserves to stand on its own. The two main storylines -- the OMEGA love chaos and Molly's trauma -- were going to cross in a way, as Hurricane and Molly were teammates for Armageddon. But before they could be teammates, they had to trust each other. And part of that was the way they opened up here.

Random throwaway gag alert: for whatever reason, the thought of Kevin Nash and Konnan playing Parcheesi to warm up for a PPV they're not on struck me as funny.

*****

Chapter 59

Two Lost Souls

Saturday, December 13, 2003, 12:15 PM

Orlando, FL

I slowly headed over to the ring area, where the PPV participants were practicing for tomorrow night's big event. I saw some construction workers putting together the Wheel of Death, which huge letters to indicate which spaces would be for what match. True to form, they even had a giant black "BANKRUPT" written in one of the 12 slots. Well, if you advertise it, might as well have it, but I wonder what they plan on having done if it lands there?

I walked around and listened in randomly to conversations. Goldust and Terri were planning their future on one set of stairs. Kevin Nash and Konnan were playing Parcheesi in between shouting semi-random instructions at the ring. Chris Benoit was preparing his leg, which had been injured on RAW in storyline terms, so that he could get used to the limited mobility. Meanwhile, Shawn and Shane were in the ring, practicing spots from their match and getting Shawn's five months of ring rust out of his system.

I heard a sigh and jerked my head over to the left. Hurricane was seated, in costume, holding his mask in his hands and staring at it. Something seemed to be on his mind, but I didn't know if it would be wise to approach him about it. However, my curiosity had been piqued, so I sat down and pretended to watch the ring.

As Hurricane sat there, Nora approached. She sat down next to Hurricane and tried to get his attention. I tuned out Shawn in the ring and paid attention to their conversation.

"Hey... you gonna be okay for tomorrow, Greg?"

"Sure... sure I am. We'll, uh, tear the house down."

"You're not very convincing."

"Oh, sorry, want me to try again?"

"No, no... Greg, what's wrong?"

"Nora, I... I'd rather not talk about it."

"C'mon, you can talk to me... Greg, you can't tell me anything worse than what I've been through."

"You sure you won't freak out? I mean, I'm shocked you're even looking at me."

"This is about Amy, isn't it?"

"You know?"

"She told everyone."

"Oh no... oh God, I'm ruined."

"Why?"

"Wh-- what do you mean why? Because I can't look her in the eye again? Because everyone knows I broke up a relationship? Because I did this right after she buried one of her friends? Hey, I'm sorry about your loss -- here, would a screw help?"

"Greg, come on. You don't understand."

"No, YOU don't -- I've ruined three lives by what I did. I ruined Matt's, I ruined Amy's, and I ruined her kid's life. No, make that four. Mine ain't too hot either."

"Hey, listen to me. You have the time to make things better. It's not over yet. She's been with us on the road all week and you haven't talked to her so far as I know. Why not?"

"Because I... I..."

"Are you scared?"

"Yeah."

"Of what?"

"Nora, if Darren wanted to apologize to you, don't you think he'd be scared?"

"Not Darren, no..."

"Well... how would you react?"

"I wouldn't let him get anywhere near me."

"Exactly."

"...I don't under... oh. Greg, you didn't hurt her. Did you? I mean, she let you... um, she... what's the word?"

"Consented?"

"Yeah, that's it. Did she consent?"

"I... well, she seemed to. I mean, she wasn't exactly resisting or anything... so I guess so."

"That's fine. I mean, I don't agree with what happened, but it wasn't the worst thing..."

"Nora, please, you're not helping me."

"I know... I... look, you two are such good friends. You had to be just to get into this mess, right? She's not going to want nothing to do with you. That should be obvious. Just talk to her. Just clear things with her."

"It's not that easy."

"I'm not expecting it not to be awkward, Greg, but you have to try. You have to. Not just for your sake, but for hers. The two of got along so well. We were all there for you when Jeff died. I know I don't want you to... not over this."

"What would you know? You don't know what went on. You don't have any idea what it was like. You're too proud of the fact that you'd never let a... oh, God, I'm sorry. I don't know where that came from."

"No, let it out. I know I was protective, but... it doesn't matter now. I lost it and I can't get it back. It's not worth dwelling on."

"Nora, wait... what I mean is... you've never had a positive experience. You don't know what it feels like. You can't understand how... why are you smiling?"

"I think I see why you're so nervous."

"Why?"

"You're upset that you liked it."

"What do you... of course I... but that's..."

"Hold on, now. You and she did this, and it was a lot of fun at the time, but now you're all guilty about it because Matt's going crazy. Did it bother you before this? Did this feeling that you'd done something wrong bother you at first?"

"Yeah! Of course. But then he... well, you know, Matt said it was okay. I haven't done anything since. It's always been awkward. I couldn't comfort her or let myself near her, because I'd just remember what that night was like. It's driving me crazy. And now... now I have to be near her. I can't abandon her. But it's not right, it's not fair."

"Greg, what's worse -- the mistake you've made, or the mistake you're making?"

"Making? But I--"

"You're abandoning her by not talking to her. Give her a try. Just... go on. In a couple months she'll be off the road, and then after that she probably won't want anything to do with you. You gotta try. You have to accept responsibility. I did."

"You did? For what?"

"For being quiet. For letting Darren hurt me. I was at fault too."

"Nora, you were a victim!"

"No... well, a little. I mean... I thought I was totally at fault, but... this guy I know now... he's been so nice to me, and he's helped me along so much in returning to a normal life... but he's also been telling me that I made mistakes, that I could've fought him... I didn't do enough. I want to get in his good graces again."

"Why? He doesn't sound like the kind of guy who's good for you. Nora, you're better than he describes. Didn't he hurt you? Didn't he do this to you without your permission?"

"I... yeah, but I led him on..."

"The hell you did! Stop thinking you're a victim! Nora, girl, you gotta get to a support group for this sort of thing. Don't you get it? You're not the one at fault here. If you were the bad person you think you are, would there have been as many people cheering when Darren got carted off as there were?"

"Vince... Vince hated me for it."

"Look, forget about Vince. He's insane. We all know that. We stay here because the pay's good and we live for the recognition. But that's not important. His opinion doesn't matter. My opinion doesn't matter. What matters is what you think of yourself. You have to face your problem. You have to realize it's okay. You have to move on... from... this......"

"Greg?"

"I... just realized. There's something I have to do, isn't there?"

"Tell you what, Greg... you go talk to Amy, and I'll go talk to the doctor around here. I need to visit him again anyway."

"You haven't been? Why not?"

"Because... well, I went once, but I felt I was being forced to go. Like Gail dragged me to it. She just wanted what was best for me. I'm sure the doctor will too."

"Yeah, I hope so. And look -- it's just my opinion, but you gotta stay away from that guy who's telling you it's your fault. He's got his own issues, and he doesn't need to be putting them on you."

"But... I don't know... he really has helped me a whole lot. I want to be..."

"Nora, listen. This guy... what's his name?"

"Phil."

"Okay... Phil sounds like a nice guy, but... I don't think he understands what you really need. He's got some hangup. Rape isn't deserved. You didn't bring it on. He took advantage of you, and that's all there is to it. If Phil is trying to tell you otherwise, he has the problem."

"Maybe... maybe he does. But he seems to have his life in order. And... I feel so comfortable talking to him, even though he tells me what I do wrong. It's like there's something there that says, I believe in you, and I can make you a better person."

"Nora, trust me -- you don't need to be a better person. You're better than most of the people here. You went through a hell of a lot. You're still smiling. I don't see any grudges or any... anything in your mind. I mean, I'll be honest -- you just talked me into wanting to straighten my life out. That's a big thing."

"Thanks, but... I still got a long way to go. Maybe the doctor will help me."

"Sure... you go to him. I got something to do."

"Okay."

They went their separate ways as Shawn and Shane were going over the intricacies of the finish. Wow... they made each other better. If I didn't know better, I'd wonder if they were Angels in disguise. I guess God rubs off on people.

[The Third Dukes]

This next chapter was a chance to explore a side-character I had been hinting at: Trish. Thus far, I had hinted at the type of person she was through various asides -- notice where the meal passes are when she visits Jericho in the hospital or how she says she got them. Even Lindsay came out and called Trish a flirt -- well, while being Trish, anyway.

But it was something I felt I could delve into. Again, note how much of a field day Freud would have. In fact, that's a meta-theme -- my treatment of sexuality. And yes, it comes into play here as well. It's part of giving other people characters. Hey, when you have something as charged up as the WWE, men and women interacting will have an adult bent to it. I just wanted to paint a broad picture with the people I used.

Think about who I've shown so far: Stacy, steady girlfriend / fiancee; Molly, sexual victim; Lita, walking ad for the consequences; Gail, scared in the closet; Ivory, family woman; Torrie, on an extended honeymoon. All of them normal, but all of them rather serious. There isn't much fun among the whole lot. Well, that's where Trish comes in.

So, um, there's no real point here other than to give Trish a scene to chew.

Reader reaction:

A couple of people laughed at Rene Dupree's character. In only a few lines at the beginning he nearly stole the show. At least one person told me they were rolling their eyes at how everyone entered the water (not that I'm shocked -- I mean, c'mon, a bunch of wrestlers jumping in and they're NOT going to do a trainwreck?). And as for Trish -- well, GYS gets the word:

Anyway, I don't know how I like you making Trish seem like an adventurous sex-type girl, but - well, there's no harm in it. (Y)

[TAFKA Castroneves]

So many memories Dukes, such a great story. Good to see you updating this every once in a while, for a lot of diary writers around here - the newer ones this really is a must read. It's not your stereotypical EWR diary, but it is an EWR diary that stretches the boundaries of what one would normally expect, and that's a good thing.

Big fan of this work, one of the first diaries I read when I joined EWB III, and I hope you do update this more regulary. It's still as good as it was when you first presented it to us guys.

[The Third Dukes]

So many memories Dukes, such a great story. Good to see you updating this every once in a while, for a lot of diary writers around here - the newer ones this really is a must read. It's not your stereotypical EWR diary, but it is an EWR diary that stretches the boundaries of what one would normally expect, and that's a good thing.

Big fan of this work, one of the first diaries I read when I joined EWB III, and I hope you do update this more regulary. It's still as good as it was when you first presented it to us guys.

←

[The Third Dukes]

I've tried to think about how I'm dividing this into Chapters, which really has been the toughest part of the whole thing. I don't want too much emphasis placed on this week, but the problem is that Alexis/Andy is all over the map. It's a testament to the patience of my Readership that I could pull this off, with so many parallel lives running through this to the point that just about everyone I introduced had an issue.

Case in point, the roommate. Here's someone I'd never heard of in real life, and who only recently has come to any prominence whatsoever in the wrestling world (and even that's debatable), and yet I tried to give her a personality to the point where I feel like I could have a talk with her and know how she'd respond. And yeah, sure, the personality's derivative of the name and archetype, but whatever. It's an effort. And I felt I owed people an effort. (As a side note, I wonder how many people guessed who she was before I mention her name.)

RAW Notes: Shawn's open challenge was actually the way I tied up a loose end, and while I won't say who the target is, I will note that I must not have hinted it as strong as I thought because NO ONE knew it in the prediction contest... One of these days, I will actually do a 3 Live Kru news report in its entirety, but this is not that day... Royal Rumble qualifiers went along at a brisk pace, as I attempted to make sure people qualified in due time... you notice that Bischoff makes Kane/Benoit a cage match. I later decided against it, then forgot to have Bischoff say he changed his mind. Whoops.

You'll notice Andy goes monologuing near the end. I'm not entirely sure what inspires me, but a lot of the time when he's rambling, I'm just spouting what comes to mind. I felt it gave it a better feel. Granted, some of the connections are pretty random -- not to many can jump from a dues-paying indy wrestler to a New Testament prophet -- but at the same time, I felt they were necessary. With two subjects as dichotomous as wrestling and the afterlife, some compromises had to exist.

*****

Chapter 62

Valerie

Monday, December 15, 2003, 01:45 PM

Louisville, KY

We came back from lunch, stiff but ready to continue. My roommate -- whose name I hadn't yet overheard -- was talking about her work out in LA, where she had the honor of working with Danny Doring. She said she wanted to be in the WWE down the line, but her favorite memory was still appearing at ringside in an NWATNA dark match.

"I'm just wondering," I said, "do you ever think you'll get in the ring?"

"Well, like, it would be nice," she replied, "but I'm not ready. I have my hands full with Ryan as it is."

"How so?"

"Well, he's out in Canada on the off-days -- you know, the scouts found him when they were looking at those two guys Kane beat up -- and he's being groom by the Snake to be a main event star eventually. Of course, I don't know if he has it, but he thinks so. It's just so bothersome dealing with his ego -- like I'm holding him back or something. What's up with that, man?"

"Everyone thinks that. Don't let it get to you."

"I know, I know... Like, I'm just glad I was able to get my foot in the door. That work with EPIC has been such a big boon to me, and now they got me doing the occasional appearance in IRON too. I'm telling you, SoCal is just totally rad for wrestling! You should come on out!"

"I'd love to, but I'm committed to a bunch of shows this week."

"Oh, don't worry, babe. When it's time for X-mas, I'll bring you to meet my peeps."

"That's great of you... I'll see if I can. I had some plans already to spend time in Stamford getting prepared. I'm supposed to make the Leap soon."

She gasped. "Really? That's so awesome! Oh my God! I can't believe it! You're going to rock up there, I just know it."

"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. It's just a shame I can't be up there with my buddies."

"You mean, Joey? Oh, I'm sure he'll get a call eventually. That sort of thing happens, you know."

"Yeah... but by that time, I'm sure he'll have a new life. I just wonder if I can keep everything normal while I'm on the road all the time. I mean, right here, I'm a quick drive to Cincinnati for us, a quick trip to Nashville for NWA, and a trip to Philly for Ring of Honor. I'm not sure I can handle flying all the time."

"Hey, lemme tell ya, hon... when I started out, I was thinking, there's like no way I'll be able to go anywhere but LA. It's my life, you know? But, like, this came along and I realized that I had a bigger love for my job than for anything else. Besides, you know, you don't have to leave it all behind. I still have my family, and my friends, and my way cool car at home. You don't have to dump it all when you reach the big time. Besides, that would be a major snobout, right?"

I laughed. "They teach you well under the sun, don't they?"

She smiled back. "Hey, just cuz I so talk from the Valley doesn't mean I think there. You know that."

We entered the training center laughing and sharing our witticisms.

*****

04:55 PM

"Okay, y'all, gather round and listen up!" Jim Cornette, he of the thousand-mile-an-hour mouth and opinionated philosophy, had been coaching us on everything from what to say all the way to how to say it. His training was an invaluable thing, as was his discipline. Every day from 10 to 5 we worked in the ring and on wrestling ideals, whether it be how to land, how to throw, how to swing a chair, how to sneer just right, or anything that would benefit the show. As a result, Ohio Valley Wrestling was almost a major independent league of its own.

Of course, the talent level didn't hurt. We had a mishmash of the future stars and past WWF heroes thrown together to bring about our little show. Rumors were flying that Test and Rob Conway were due to take time off from the big league and work on their skills for a few weeks. Meanwhile, others with WWF experience, such as Big Boss Man, Bull Buchanan, Eric Angle, Orlando Jordan, and Jacqueline helped with the training and the pacing of the show. Everyone, though, had the same goal: to get The Call.

"Okay, guys and gals, I gotta say that today was a decent day out there," began Jim Cornette in his motivational talk. "We got a lotta momentum working up for our Garden show on Saturday, and we gotta make sure we keep it that way. This week's TV is due to tape on Wednesday, as ya know, and we wanna do the hard sell on the Garden show. Anybody know they won't be at the taping, lemme know right now." I raised my hand. "Yeah, Lex, I know, you got Nashville. Anyone else?" No one.

"Good. Now listen up. The boys are talkin' a lot, and there's a bunch of people who are almost ready to return or move on to TV. Victoria, they're lookin' at bringing you back soon, and I gotta say I'd approve of it in a few weeks. Look at how people who've made the jump are doin' now. Look at how Dinsmore did in his time. He's commanding top dollar around the nation. Look at the Maximos or Michael Shane. They're regulars on the shows. Even if this is the end of the line for some of you, don't get mad. Do what you love, and love what you do. Ray, bring it in."

We gathered in a circle around Ray Traylor, the elder statesman of OVW. As the Big Bossman, he and Bull Buchanan were the only ones to appear in multiple WrestleManias. Certainly, he was the most experienced, having seen it all in his long, illustrious career. Heck, he was there when Vince was sane.

"Okay, boys, I been talkin' to Corny here, and that was a good session today. Some o' y'all wanna hit the weights with me, follow me when it's done. But I wanna see everyone eatin' right and gettin' rest. We got the Garden this Saturday, and it's a show we've been buildin' to the whole year. If we don't go out there and kick ass, I may have to dish out hard time on my own, you hear me? Now, O-V-Dub on three, ready! One, Two, Three!"

"O-V-DUB!" We all shouted as we lifted our hands out of the huddle. After it was done, Cornette and the Pritchards applauded and told us we were dismissed for the day. My roommate took my arm and called me aside.

"Hey, like, you wanna go get some dinner with Ryan and me? We gotta work on the weekend show, ya know."

"Sure, sounds like fun."

*****

06:58 PM

After a long and eventful dinner, we were getting ready to pay the tab. Ryan -- who played Keiji Sakoda in OVW -- was busy calculating the tip, while my roommate -- an LA native named Valerie Wyndham -- and I began to talk about plans to watch RAW that evening. Suddenly, we were met by a pair of boys who had wandered to our table.

"Hey, you're Alexis, aren't you?" said one, holding a pen and a couple of pieces of paper.

"Depends... who's asking?" I smiled back, pretending to be innocent. After my experiences with Cena and Nora, I couldn't be too careful.

"Dude -- can you get us tickets to the Garden?"

"On Saturday? Just show up, guys. We won't be sold out. Hey, I'll even look for you in the crowd if ya want."

They stared at each other, slack-jawed. "That would be awesome," one of them proclaimed. They handed me the pen and papers. "Can we, uh, have your autograph?"

"Sure... in fact, these guys are with me too. I'll get them to sign it."

"Sweet."

I signed both pieces of paper as I handed them off to Valerie. "Couple of guys here want some memorabilia," I joked.

"Oh, cool! What's your names?" She turned to them and tipped her sunglasses, which she kept wearing even indoors.

"Brad and Johnny."

"All right, then..." she pulled the papers to her and began to write up top. After putting their names on it, she wrote underneath. "Totally live the dream!" She then signed each paper "SoCal Val" and passed them off to Ryan.

After Ryan signed them, he handed them back to the boys. "Thanks, guys!" They both said. Then Johnny turned to me and whispered, "I hope you make it big, Alexis. We all love you."

I smiled. "Aw, thanks. Don't worry about me."

*****

08:44 PM

RAW was about to begin. Valerie was going over her lines for the next OVW TV program. I looked at her as I flipped to Spike TV. "What's wrong, Val? Why memorize?"

"Oh, it just makes me feel better," she replied. "But yeah, I can do this over lunch tomorrow too." She put her script aside and sat down in the chair next to me, flipping up the footrest and leaning back.

I got a better look at this youngster. She was about my height, but not my build at all. She had slightly more weight -- not enough to be fat, though; just enough to be round. What I noticed most of all, though, were her legs. She said that EPIC liked to comment that she was the next Stacy Keibler while she was there -- and although she didn't have the height, she certainly had the build. What I wouldn't give to be a guy in OVW this week rather than a gal.

"So, you think that Michael Shane guy is gonna be a big thing?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. He's got the skill. He's got the breeding, certainly."

"He's hot, too, isn't he."

"Well..." I thought of how to phrase this, since judging male hotness didn't come naturally to me. "He certainly looks like a Heartbreak Kid. I don't know if he'll have Shawn's all around looks, but he's not bad."

"Yeah, I know... I hope I get to manage him someday. Actually, just about anyone would be a step up."

"What do you mean? You haven't had good wrestlers to manage?"

"Well... not exactly. I mean, I did get to manage that Danny Doring guy over at a show in Maryland once. That was wicked. But I'm generally paired with losers cuz I'm an unknown outside of Cali. I mean, look at Ryan. He's okay and all, but he's got no name value. Plus he's Japanese, so he takes it all serious. Ugh, I hate that."

"Well, it's his job, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess... but I'd rather manage someone like that Carly guy."

"He's a hot commodity, that's for sure."

"Yeah, real hot. Rrowr."

"Valerie!"

"What? He is."

I rolled my eyes. "Let's just watch the show."

"Oh, come on... like you don't think he's hot."

"I'm going steady, remember?"

"Oh, you're no fun."

*****

- The SmarK RAW Rant for Dec. 15 / 03.

- Live from Tampa, FL.

-Your hosts are Jim Ross and DDP.

- RNN opens, as always. Randy Orton shows highlights of the previous night, including their tag title win. He invites Evolution out to be his guests. Bischoff announces that Goldust was traded last night to fulfill a request from a SmackDown! superstar who will be here TONIGHT. Also, he says their group isn't quite complete, and brings out the newest member: Michael Shane. Predictable. Shane declares he's the next Showstoppah and will be the future of the business, blah blah blah, when WEEKEND UPDATE WITH 3 LIVE KRU comes on the Tron. Konnan declares that, in a news flash, no one gives a crap about Michael Shane. Road Dogg does sports and proclaims that at least half the members of Evolution tested positive for ugly. Ron Killings reports that a his foot has been found in places the sun doesn't shine while doing weather. HHH finally has enough and challenges them to a match tonight. Not that I want to see the match, but the Kru is always good for a laugh.

- Women's Title: Ivory v. Trish Stratus. Well, they're trying to re-establish the gold, which is good. Of course, the matches may be counterproductive, but they're trying. Ivory forearms Trish to start, and a slam gets two. Trish slaps back, and the two catfight for a while. Ivory grabs a headlock, and Trish suplexes her for two. Rana gets two. Ivory up top, but a crossbody misses. Trish suplexes her for two. Wow, TWO types of suplexes -- talk about variety. Stratusphere gets two. Ivory rolls her up for two. Trish tries the Stratusfaction, but Ivory shoves her over the top rope instead. Back in, it gets two. Superplex (!) gets two. Death Valley Driver finally finishes for Ivory at 6:24. Kudos to them for pushing women's wrestling, but do they have any wrestlers who are women? I mean, this isn't joshi. *

- Christian comes out with a NEW Intercontinental Title. He brags about being the champ and says he will hold the belt until it's time for the big prize. Booker T gets NO REMATCH, not now, not ever. Good. He issues an open challenge, which is never smart, and... the Lo Rider music hits!

- Intercontinental Title: Christian v. Chavo Guerrero. Chavo rushes him to start as the crowd goes CRAZY for him. German suplex gets two. Rana gets two, as Page puts over Chavo's lucha past. Christian bails and Chavo hits a pescado, wowing the crowd. You can tell he's loving every minute of this, too. He pastes Christian with a few punches and tosses him in for two. Christian gets a thumb to the eye and an armdrag, then hits a slam for two. Unprettier is blocked, and Chavo gets a spinkick as Christian bails. Chavo gets suckered into the STEEL steps outside, and back in, Christian gets a series of elbowsmashes for two. Tornado DDT gets two. Full nelson, but Chavo with a mule kick to break, drawing a HUGE pop. CHEAT TO WIN~! Dropkick to the knee and El Paso Lasso follow. Christian makes the ropes. Chavo up top, but the corkscrew moonsault misses. Christian gets two. Christian just has no clue how to handle Chavo. Christian gets a German suplex for two. DDT gets two. He tries a gutwrench, but Chavo hits a headscissors out of it. Christian finally has enough and walks away at 7:33, drawing MASSIVE boos from the crowd. Smart move to get Chavo out of Eddie's shadow, and it appears the crowd wants to love him every step of the way. ***1/4 And yes, that's with the lame-wad finish.

- Chris Benoit comes out, and the crowd is totally burned out right now. He demands a rematch with Kane at the Rumble, and they show footage of Kane tapping to back it up. No response from Kane, so he goes hunting for him instead. Backstage, he runs into Booker T, who is also upset about losing at Armageddon. He says Bischoff is forcing him to qualify for the Royal Rumble while HHH gets a reservation. He cries foul. Yeah, me too. Benoit keeps searching and beats up Mark Henry for fun.

- Royal Rumble Qualifier: Booker T v. Kevin Nash. Oh, joy, he's back. Booker fires away to start, getting a shoulderblock and crossbody. Nash catches Booker and gets a sideslam for two. Snake Eyes gets two. Well, that's Nash's moveset, so he hits an abdominal stretch. Booker breaks with a hook kick and attacks the leg of Nash. Lariat and missile dropkick FINALLY knock Nash down. Leg lariat, Spinaroonie, axe kick, good riddance to Nash at 2:11. DUD Booker celebrates in the ring, which would make good TV, but instead we head backstage to show Shawn Michaels walking. That's the Clique for ya.

- Shawn Michaels heads to the ring with a serious look. He says that his nephew committed treason, but that Shane is his own man. He mentions how he wanted to make a special challenge last month for a final match, but after beating Shane, he feels he can go again. However, he still has the challenge to make, and says that he expects an answer at the Rumble. Coach comes out to press for details, but HBK simply says the guy "already knows I want him". Okay, that was weird, and really, with all the legends being contacted already for this so-called Showcase match, I have no idea who's left to pair with Michaels that won't be a disappointment.

- Evolution v. 3 Live Kru. Yes, folks, Stacy is technically in the match, although she does nothing but watch the whole time, thankfully. Konnan and Batista start, and Konnan punches him down and gets the rolling kick. Orton dives in with a missile dropkick, and all seven men brawl. HHH beats up Killings and gets a kneelift, allowing Shane to try a crossbody. That, however, is caught, and Killings and Road Dogg do a nice double-team slam. The ref regains control as Killings and Orton stay in the ring. Orton slugs Killings down, but puts his head down and gets sunset flipped for two. Killings with a headbutt, and Dogg gets the funky punches and kneedrop for two. Batista gets a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER during a run-in, though, and Dogg is face-in-peril. What else is new? Shane gets a swinging neckbreaker and a headscissors as we head to commercial. Coming out of it, HHH has a suplex for two. He USES THE KNEE off of a whip for two. Batista gets a powerslam for two. Orton with Play of the Day for two. Shane goes up top, but the elbowdrop misses. HHH cuts off the hot tag and gets a neckbreaker for two. Orton scores a superplex for two. RKO is blocked, and Dogg gets a desperation belly-to-belly suplex. Hot tag Konnan, who goes nuts on all four heels. NOGGIN KNOCKER to Orton and Batista for laughs. Carpetmuncher on Orton gets two. Everyone returns to the ring, and HHH stops to proposition Stacy, allowing Road Dogg to roll him up for two. The ref tries to restore order, but Batista powerbombs Konnan and Shane gets the Picture Perfect Elbow for the win at 15:11. This was what it was. *3/4 HHH poses in front of Evolution in the group pose. Remember who the real star is, kids.

- Main event interview: Eric Bischoff returns and calls out Benoit. Benoit threatens Bischoff unless he gets his rematch. Bischoff says he'll get it, but it'll be in a cage, and no escape rules. He says he'll take personal joy in seeing Benoit's leg snap and his body get ravaged... and the camera pans back to show Kane standing behind Benoit. Chokeslam, Tombstone, and powerbomb, then Kane steps on Benoit's neck (with JR having flashbacks -- nice touch) as he lights a match. Security drags Kane away, and the EMTs get Benoit, end of show.

The Bottom Line:

Well, it's been working so far, and it's not like they've had a definitive win by Kane yet, so you might as well stick with it. Chavo Guerrero looks like he'll take off into the stratosphere given enough time, and some of the people not used (Molly, Lita, Big Show, Hurricane, La Res) may be puzzling but ultimately a good thing. They can all practice their trade in OVW while waiting for the Rumble.

Besides, if I hear one more word about that fake pregnancy, I think I'll shoot my TV screen.

*****

Tuesday, December 16, 2003, 10:55 PM

Nashville, TN

"Hi, Shawn, it's Andy."

"Hello. Where ya been?"

"In Louisville. I'm Alexis Laree right now."

"You're in the minors? Why?"

"Well, apparently another mission is about to be completed, and they want as many people as they can to take part in it. So I guess I'm a friend of a friend of someone who needs saving. I don't get it either, Shawn. I just know I've been doing a lot of work here."

"That's cool. You gonna be all right? You haven't had a good history as a woman, have you?"

"Shawn, it's okay. The good news is I can still reach Matt. A few of the SmackDown! people have been saying he's getting weird."

"Yeah, I've heard. He's not in the best frame of mind right now. Well... if God says you gotta be Laree, be Laree. We're gonna miss you."

"Thanks. Give Lindsay my love, please."

"Already done. Catch you next... wait, the WWE's off for the holidays next week. Well, I'll talk to you soon."

"Thanks, Shawn. Bye."

I hung up and lay back on the hotel bed. What a weird week this'll be. I'm surrounded by people I've never met. I'm stuck in a world I've never seen before. I'm away from everyone who means everything to me, and being forced to work with a bunch of folks who don't know me and don't want to know me. It's like I'm starting over.

But I'm not, really. I've got Ben and Stef to talk to. And certainly Shawn is just a phone call away. What's the big deal? I'll do fine, right?

Oh, I know what it is. It's being on the road all the time. It's not knowing where my next big move will be or what my next assignment will bring. It's having to learn new names, new faces, and keep all of them separate from each other. On top of that, it's making sure I don't slip up and call one person by another name or anything that might cause me to leave Vince's case.

Welcome to the life on an indy wrestler.

I guess I never realized how good I had it in the WWE. Sure, I was forced to be someone new every week, and half those people I meet are undesirable people, but they're my family now. I know many of their likes and dislikes already. I have people who I can turn to when my character needs a new way to go or I need to get my nightmares out of me. Everyone provides a different feeling of comfort or benefit. I even learn from those I dislike -- sort of.

Above all, though, it's where I've made my home. I've been doing this now for about four and a half months. All the time, I've been learning who the good guys and bad guys are and how to get good ideas through. I've developed new friends, new respects, new love, new hatred, new memories. I've done more here than I thought possible.

But at the same time, I have no home, except maybe some lamp I'll have zero access to this week or next. I have no old chums, because they all think I'm in Heaven now. I have no behavioral pattern, because I adopt everyone else's every week. I'm a vagabond, a wanderer, a pilgrim.

Wait -- didn't the early prophets wander from place to place, with nothing of their own but their ideas of how to live life? Weren't they specifically told to lose all their earthly connections? Didn't they sacrifice, form new bonds, learn new evils, and all that? What makes me different? Are a few thousand years enough to make me unique?

Maybe I should talk to St. Peter and see how he did it. In the meantime, though, I just have to do what I think is right. I have to be careful to avoid temptation and all that. I have to make sure I don't fade away or become demon food. I can't be like Kathleen was. I have to be me.

Whoever I am.

[The Third Dukes]

I think this might be one of my most fun chapter to write. I wish I could take credit for the whole thing.

An old board member came up with the segment for TNA based on the info I gave him in the savefile. From this, he concocted the NWA main event scene, a Jarrett/Douglas feud, and a Lash/Raven feud. I used his words for Raven with minor alterations -- if any; I honestly don't remember -- and the result was awesome. I loved it, and I loved adding Andy/Alexis' thoughts to it.

Speaking of which, her/his thoughts on Raven are something I would've expanded on if I ever signed him. Raven's whole routine is one I find very, very compelling. He's a philosopher king in his promos, which is what makes them so great in my opinion. Along those lines, I made his words resonate and even take the workers into the world of wrestling. He would've been a great character if he were in the WWE at the time.

You'll notice that Ben's identity kinda changes. I was never certain on that detail, and it was one of the few that I screwed up on. I don't mean I didn't keep it consistent from day to day, but I think I assign him to three different people in this scene, depending on which chapter I'm writing. So when all else fails, remember that this is a rough draft. Sorta.

The intervention was one of those things that sounded really forced, and that I actually had to explain. Heck, from Andy's point of view, it seems too easy -- which is what was meant. After all, he was just brought in for the final blow and had no appreciation of everything leading up to it. Which was the point.

I also introduce CM Punk, who would make a couple of cameos later on. Basically, I hated his pomposity over the straight-edge thing. No booze, no drugs, no sex... hell, I can do that. But he feels like he did it on his own and that God didn't help, which in the context of this story is wrong. I also think I remember his saying that religious people were weak. Whatever it was, it honked me off so much I made him an antagonist.

Little Thing I do here: Rick Steiner's mental problems. The old kayfabed story was that he got in a car accident back in the day that scrambled his brains and explained why he didn't always do the sensible thing. I have no idea how much if any of that is true, but Steiner not being perfect mentally was easier to write. It was the big weakness that would make him a sympathetic figure. If true. And what the heck, why not?

Do you notice the towel guy's cryptic comments? There's a reason I gave him the initials B.P. -- they're short for Blaise Pascal, mathematician, philosopher, and gambler. Look him up.

*****

Chapter 63

Intervention

Wednesday, December 17, 2003, 02:45 PM

Nashville, TN

I showed up early at the Asylum, as the ring crew was setting up the ring for tonight's show. I looked around for a familiar face I could find somewhere. Although it was amusing to see so many people change appearance by just putting on my glasses -- Stefani wasn't kidding when she said she was going to get help -- they were all strangers to me.

"Alexis... there you are. We've been looking for you."

I turned around, confused. A scary-looking, veteran face looked back at me. His eyes seemed to indicate a kind, gentle individual, even if he seemed a little lost at times. I could tell he'd been through the wars just by looking at him, and even if I hadn't recognized the face, I knew the type. Just seeing him brought out a mixture of respect, anger, and pity.

"Rick," I replied, "what are you doing here? You on for tonight?"

"In a fashion. I was told to get you. A few of us were to get together before the show."

"Wait -- is Mr. Jarrett holding a meeting?"

"No... no, but he is involved. C'mon."

I followed Rick, observing his movements as I did so. He walked with a bit of a hesitation, as though he was uncertain where to go next. He wore his letterman jacket close to his body, as if hiding something, a suspicion augmented by his head being on a swivel. We rounded a corner and entered a back room. Two other wrestlers were waiting. One I recognized immediately as Marcus Bagwell.

The other, though, was less familiar. He was a shorter man, with regular-length black hair, but nothing really stood out. He had on a blue-and-black singlet with wavy lines on it. He smiled as I entered the room. "We've been waiting for you."

Rick sat down and loosened his jacket. A pair of glasses fell out. Oh, right. He wiped the sweat off of his brow and began to speak. "Okay, guys, you know why we're here, right? This is the week we go after him. I got a lot of people who wanna help save him out there, but we gotta do this. Any concerns at all?"

"You think he's gonna listen?" I turned to the other guy. "I mean, I'm just a valet, Rick's just an old man, and I doubt you or Marcus has any cred with him. He listens to people like Dusty and Russo, right?"

"Hold on, girl," the other guy said. "We all thought that at first, too. But he's been so mixed up he'll listen to everyone at least once. Besides, you don't think Marc here goes way back?"

"It's not that... it's that it's just us. What can we do?"

"I thought that myself for a while," said Marcus, speaking for the first time, "but then I talked to Sting back in the day. I told him about the power God has over people... you know, I wasn't the only person in his ear, and I wasn't the only one telling him about life and death, but something stuck with him. He's one of the most pious men I know now. It's a shame I won't see him much now that he's off to the WWE, but hopefully he'll be back soon."

"See, that's just it," Rick said. "We CAN do this. I know we can. Marcus, you've been trying for months now, and some of us... well, faith's important and I'll leave it at that. But the problem is that Jeff's obsessed with Vince. He's sold his soul to the NWA to be #1 in wrestling. We gotta let him step back and realign himself."

"Yeah... besides, he'll never beat Vince." And Vince's soul has been sold to a much more influential authority anyway.

"Alexis, please... don't crowd the issue. The point is..." Rick seemed to be searching for the right words. "...help me out here, guys."

"It's all right," said Marcus, placing a hand on Rick's shoulder. "The point is, Alexis, that you can't focus on earthly deeds. You know this. There's more to life than life. You've gotta focus on the hereafter, too. God wants us to succeed only so much as we realize it's through Him we get our strength. Otherwise, what's the point?"

The other guy smiled. "So how do we convey this to Jeff without sounding like some preacher dude?"

"Well, we can always just use examples of our own life. I know that's what got Sting to think about it. Besides, a lot of the locker room usually sticks around. If we're lucky, they'll help us out. I know a lot of them have religious roots. I mean, it's the best we can do."

"What if we fail?" I had a hard time believing what I said, even as I said it. I didn't want to put any more pressure on Ben or Stefani -- at least one of whom was in this room -- than God was already putting on them for granting their request. I waited for a shake of the head or a slap of the wrist. Instead, Marcus merely shrugged and smirked.

"If we fail," he said, "then we try again. As long as we try, we do not fail. Okay, guys, catch you after the show. Let's do it."

We adjourned to stretch and prepare for our match. As I left, I turned to look at the other guy. I didn't recognize him, and didn't know if I should have. I waited for him to leave, but before he did, he pulled something out of his gym bag and put it over his head. As soon as he did, I recognized him.

So that's what Shark Boy looks like without the mask...

*****

06:11 PM

I found Rick again, this time carrying my glasses nonchalantly so that he would be sure to see them. "So, Rick," I said, trying to be subtle, "give me some background so I don't break character."

Rick looked at me for a second, then seemed to catch on. "Go talk to Jerry over there. He'll fill you in. I'm sorry I can't be of much help... the ol' Gremlin's mind ain't what it used to be."

"I understand." I walked over to where Jerry Lynn was and slipped my glasses on. Yep, that's Stef over there. So that means Ben must be Rick. I wonder, then, who the others are. I tapped him on the shoulder and let him see me wearing the glasses. "So, Jer, how do I look?"

"Cute. You can take them off," he said tersely.

"Don't you know who I..."

"Yeah, yeah... so's everyone. Look, I'll talk to you, but you gotta get rid of those. Trust me, there's people here who wouldn't understand." I removed them. "All right... what's up?"

"What's my story right now? I gotta know how I'm supposed to play."

"Okay, here's the drill. You're still a member of Raven's Gathering. You noticed he's got his own host segment nowadays, right? Well, you're involved in that this week in the background, of course. Anyway, they're starting to try to branch you out in the hopes that you'll stick around. So basically, you've got the attention of one Lash LeRoux, who's trying to win your heart over. Of course, he doesn't know what he's getting into with Raven, but he's been acting all sweet backstage. Every time he seems to be making progress, Raven steps in and hustles you away. Last week, he told me -- okay, he told Jerry Lynn -- that he was gonna march on in and the hell with Raven. So that's where we stand."

I thought it over for about a minute. "So basically, I'm torn between loyalty to Raven and a thing for Lash?"

"In a way... I mean, you want to try it, and you want to reciprocate his kindness, but Raven's... well, he's Raven. He has this hold on you. You'll see when he goes over it. The guy is incredibly clever when it comes to getting the flow of things."

"All right... you're not, uh, expecting me to be much help tonight, are you?"

"Nah, Raven's in his own world with... oh, you mean with Jeff? Well... do what you can. I brought you here because I trust you." He leaned in closer. "Believe me, Andy, I know you can do this." I took a step back and stared at him for a second. I didn't need to say a word; he knew what I was thinking. "C'mon, you're the only person here who works for Vince and the NWA. Who else could you be but Alexis?"

I sighed. "Guilty," I said. "Now lemme prep for tonight."

*****

08:55 PM

All four of us waited for the cue backstage. The lonely guitar chords played, and we all nodded to each other. Before heading through the curtain, Raven had one last piece of advice: "Stay loose."

We walked out, Raven leading the way as always. CM Punk and Julio Dinero -- my fellow members of the Gathering -- followed, emotionless and unconcerned. I stood behind all of them, trying to show as much emotion as I thought Alexis could get away with under the circumstances.

Raven entered the ring, pushing aside the black cloth covering the ropes as he did so. Punk and Julio slid under the ropes, grazing the cloth. They plopped down in opposite corners, their eyes transfixed on Raven's. I entered as Raven had, through the ropes, much to the Asylum crowd's disappointment. I paced back and forth behind Raven as he took the mic from a stagehand, glaring at him in the process. He shot a look at me, and I stopped and perched myself on the top rope.

"Commensurate with my status as one destined to clasp my fingers about the NWA World Title," began Raven in his trademark polysyllabic, preaching tone, "the time has come to speak with a man who spat on the legacy of this glorious championship. It is time for a man who has tried in vain to destroy me to face me once more. The moment has come for this man to promulgate his hopes for his own success and another’s failures to the world. It is time for a man I loathe with every fiber of my being to step into the Nest."

Raven leaned over the cloth as Punk and Julio remained motionless. I hesitantly looked at Raven, although he had his back to me. Here was a man who had it all and didn't even know it. His way with words is unparalleled. What I wouldn't give to have him on our side tonight. Raven merely continued his opening address.

"It is time," he said, almost as if reading the sentence at a trial, "for one Jeff Jarrett to come to me. It is time for Jeff Jarrett to face the epoch of darkness. Jeff Jarrett, it is time for you to avail yourself of me."

Jarrett's country music chords started up as the crowd cheered their native son and top star. Jarrett slowly walked to the ring, well aware that he was outnumbered and, worse, that Raven and his minions were quite unpredictable. I saw no emotion out of either Punk nor Julio as Jarrett entered. Raven merely stared.

I took the time during this segment to examine Jarrett, as a lioness looks at her prey. Jeff was simply fired up -- but not the fire that comes from the thrill of doing one's work. Something in me told me that he seemed to be on a mission. It didn't seem to matter to him whether he personally put on a good show. There was a secondary goal when he entered the ring, but what? Before I could answer, Jeff grabbed a mic. However, before _he_ could answer, Raven held his hand up.

"In this place," he began, "I alone allow you to speak. In the future, I recommend you still your tongue until permission is given for you to curse the ears of those about you with your meaningless drivel. You are on my time, and you are in my world. I make the inquiries. Did I speak slowly enough for you to fully absorb my edicts?"

Jeff simply stared a hole at his quasi-adversary as a mix of cheers and boos went up in the crowd. I smiled and nodded. That's my leader there. Out of each corner of my eye, though, I saw nothing from my fellow followers. Jeff seemed ready to throw a punch over those few words. Instead, though, he turned Raven so that eye contact was unavoidable.

"Listen here, Raven. I came here for one reason, and one reason only… And it damn sure wasn’t to take any lip from you!"

"In this place, Jeff, you will accept whatever I feel the inclination to bestow upon you..."

"Hey, I just came here to talk about Shane Douglas! I came here because I assumed maybe my view might be shared by someone with a past involving the Franchise!"

Raven almost smiled. The crowd began to buzz. I slipped off the top rope and turned around to see what was going on. Raven, oblivious, continued. "I do not share my views with those of a lower order. You and your quests do not concern me. There is no--"

At this point, it became clear to everyone what the disturbance was. Shane Douglas, with whom Jarrett was feuding, had stormed the set. Punk and Julio, finally aware of the intrusion, held Shane back for a moment before Raven flicked his hand to signal for them to let him pass. By this time, Jarrett was ready, and both men began to brawl. I ran to Raven and hid behind him, hoping not to get caught in the crossfire. He turned to me and seemed to judge with his eyes, as if to say, I'll deal with you later. He's so good at what he does... wow.

Douglas and Jarrett continued brawling. They slammed each other off the guardrail and around the stage as we looked on. Punk and Julio seemed only to wonder if Jarrett would return. Raven's eyes, however, told a different story. It was clear that Raven was interested only in why the spotlight was stolen from him -- why he could not control his own segment. I wonder if there's a difference between Raven and Scott Levy... if he's always in character... if it even is a character. Finally, they disappeared and left us alone. Raven sneered and began to speak.

"Though am I pleased to be rid of such lowly scum," he said, drawing a mixed reaction from the crowd, "this leaves us with little to discuss. Alexis..."

He stared at me. I froze where I was. There was something in Raven that transcended his character. He had a sort of magnetism that made you afraid of him, and yet respectful of him. In his face was the collection of scars of a thousand battles, and yet not one feeling of pain or regret. My character... Punk's and Julio's too... would follow him to the ends of the earth. I wonder if any people in this building would do the same.

"Alexis," he continued, "do you..."

Before he could finish, or even start, his thought, Louisiana music began to play. Raven whirled his head around and faced the entrance, where Lash LeRoux emerged, grinning nervously. He touched his long sideburns for luck, then strolled to the ring. I noticed his right hand carried a dozen long-stemmed roses, while he had a microphone in his left. As Raven wasn't looking, I allowed myself a smile. When Raven turned to face me, I quickly replaced it with a blank expression.

Lash continued on his way to the ring, marching through the ropes and right past Raven. He headed for me, but Punk and Julio abandoned their posts at the corners and went to him. I held my arms out, motioning for them to stop. Lash approached and presented the roses to me. Unable to remain in Raven's grasp, I smiled and took them. I brought them to my face to take in their aroma when Raven seized them from my hands. As the crowd booed, I held my hands in pain, as though dozens of thorns tore across the skin from the force of Raven's grasp. Unmoved by my pain, Raven turned to Lash with disdain in his eyes.

"And you mean what by this? Do you mean to entrance Alexis with gifts of love and devotion? With gifts of affection and warmth?" Raven stared at Lash, as if trying to make him fall on his knees and beg for mercy. Lash, however, was unmoved, instead showing confusion. He tilted his head to the side, as I imagined Don West asking the viewers what business this is of Raven's.

"With ahl due respect, Rayvin," Lash replied, at once cavalier and frustrated, all mixed in his Cajun drawl, "Ah simply couldn’t stand that this beautiful woman be without these beautiful flowers for another solitary minute. I meant no--"

"Let me tell you what you meant, Lash," stated Raven, as if a drill sergeant berating a private who couldn't get the corners of his bed perfect. "You meant to undermine my status as Alexis’s guiding force. You meant to take her from the Gathering and make her yours alone. You meant, you impudent swine, to dirty her soul with your wicked derivations from the path I have chosen for her! She will have none of it, nor shall I."

Lash stammered for a reply, but was unable to find one. He tried to walk over to me, but Punk and Julio held him back. I looked into his eyes for a second, but could feel Raven's stare through Lash and into my soul. Both of them looking for me to choose him. I could do nothing but lower my head in shame, unable to accept either fate.

Lash seemed stunned. He turned back to Raven, ready to fight for my honor. Raven held up his hand, and Punk and Julio grabbed Lash to hold him back. I walked to the corner and slumped, just as Punk and Julio had before, and as Raven did many times. Condemnation rang in Raven's words as he spoke.

"Punk, release him. Lash, hold your fire and listen. I know how to settle this. In one week’s time, you will find yourself in a new world, Lash LeRoux. A world full of pain, suffering, and shame. You find yourself in a Clockwork Orange House of Fun match..."

The crowd went mad at the announcement. I merely buried my head in my hands. What have I done? Well, I mean, what has she done? Wow, just being with Raven makes me lose sight of who I am. I wish I knew why.

"With CM Punk! Cast him from my nest!"

Punk and Julio threw Lash to the floor. As Lash got up, he yelled at Punk about how he would make him pay. Raven gave the signal, and Punk and Julio returned to a position behind Raven. Lash went over the guardrail into the crowd to avoid what he figured was a gang beating. Raven left, with Punk and Julio behind him. I got up and slowly followed him, lowering my head as I did so. She's let someone down... but who?

*****

10:15 PM

"Congratulations, boys," said Jeff as he entered. "That was one hellacious show out there. We got ourselves a bunch of kickass matches for next week, and I can tell the Asylum will be packed to the hilt with guys wanting to see the show. Now, get ready for next week, cuz we wanna make sure they have a happy holiday!"

As people began to put their stuff away, Marcus Bagwell stepped forward. "Jeff... there's something here that I... well, a lot of us... wanna talk to you about. You see, we think that, uh, well, you're really dedicated to this. In fact, some of us wonder if maybe you're... too dedicated."

"What do you mean, Buff? You think I oughta take a vacation?"

"I think you need to re-examine your life. See, what if TNA gets pulled off the air? Where are you then?"

"Well, I... I guess I'm retired. I'm workin' the occasional indy for the thrill of it."

"But where are you... inside?"

"Wh... what the hell you talkin' about?"

"Where is your spirit if this company is taken away?"

Jeff shook his head. "You ain't throwin' any of that church crap at me, are ya?"

"Jeff, it's not crap! It got me through my broken neck! There's lots of people who have their own stories. They wanna let you know. We all want you to be able to get the peace of mind that comes with being soulfully balanced."

Jeff looked around the room. "You all are in this too, huh?"

"Not I," said Punk. "This man upstairs stuff is a lot of hooey to me. But Buff's right about one thing. You've plunged yourself into this company. Money's not the answer. You gotta live right. You gotta be healthy."

"Oh, can it, CM. You know I don't smoke, and you know I'm loyal to my family. What the hell are you on anyway?"

"Jeff, you don't live to make yourself better. You're living to make this company better. You've lost who you are. Look at me. I'm focused on making myself a better person every single hour. That's something you should be doing, too."

"Yeah, fine. I can do that." Jeff turned and faced Marcus again. "But what do I need some Hellfire and Brimstone shit for in my life?"

"Is that all you think God is?" Marcus walked to his locker and grabbed a Bible. "Listen, Jeff... don't you know that God loves all of us? Don't you know that He wants you to love Him? Same with Jesus. Jesus was just like us, Jeff... well, 'cept he was the perfect role model and all..."

"Save it, Buff. I heard it all before. What's in it fer me anyhow?"

"Eternal happiness."

Everyone turned around. Jerry Lynn stepped forward. "You think I could've survived being tossed from job to job, working in three separate countries, if I didn't have something to base my life around? That's what God is, Jeff. He's a railing you can balance yourself with. He's the ultimate prop, designed to keep you from falling down. I can't tell you how often I've been kept sane over in M-Pro trying to work with a culture I know nothing about... just by realizin' that we're all God's children. It makes me want to try that much harder."

"Beautiful speech, Jerry. Anyone else got a testimonial?"

About a dozen of us raised our hands. Wow. When Stefani said she was bringing backup, she MEANT it.

"All right, I'll listen. Might as well humor ya."

One by one, each of us began to tell stories of how the person we were had had their faith get them through difficult times in their life. For some, it was an injury or getting fired for one of numerous offences. For others, it was a near-death experience -- Rick's tale of nearly dying in a car wreck seemed to hit home with Jeff somehow. When it came time for my turn, in the middle, I thought of who I was, and where I worked before.

"Jeff, as you know... I'm dating this guy Joey Matthews... and he used to work in this company that the Hardy Boyz started. Well, a couple months ago, I had to be there when Matt called him... to tell him Jeff died. He and I cried for hours on end. It seemed like such an unfair thing. But when we entered that church for the funeral... and we saw the images of the saints and apostles... and of Mary and Jesus... it occurred to me that Jeff may have left us, but God never did. He was going to help us get through this trying time. He would make us strong enough to handle being without him... and I... you know, I was starting to doubt my faith before then? Not any longer. Not after I... not after that day."

As finally, Julio gave his story of growing up and knowing God saved him from street life, Jeff seemed to be wavering. I couldn't tell if he was trying to come up with a reason not to believe us or a reason to believe us. However, the silence of all of us waiting for his answer was broken by Punk again.

"This is such crap," he said. "You can't believe all that God shit, can you? It's like Marx said... religion's just a drug. And I'm not about drugs. You all are deluding yourselves if you think there's some guy who loves all of you and wants all of you to join him. You're born, you die. That's IT. Don't you get it?"

Suddenly, a smaller man walked in. I had no idea if he had heard the entire conversation, but I realized no one else saw him. He was handing out towels to people as he went through. Jeff finally noticed him and turned to him. "What about you, B.P.? What do you think about God and stuff?"

B.P. looked around. He seemed nervous about answering. Finally, he spoke. "Personally? I look at kinda pragmatically. If there's no God, then whatever we believe is of no consequence. Like the Punk said, we're born and we die. But... if there is a God -- and I ain't one to say there ain't -- then by loving Him, and believing in Him, and following what He wants, we gain so much more than just trying to go it alone. It just makes sense to believe because you have nothing to lose and everything to gain... right?"

Jeff sat and thought. I could see the wheels in his head turning. "Y'all want an answer now, doncha?" A few nodded heads appeared. "Well... I don't know. I'm thinking I gotta think it over. Y'all have given me a lotta things to sort out. It's gonna be hard. But... hey, y'all make a big deal outta Christmas, doncha? Well, lemme come along to a prayer meetin' with y'all that day. I'll see if it means anythin' to me. May not be a waste o' my time after all. Alright, clear on out. They want us shut down by 12.... and I'll see y'all next Wednesday."

We all went to get our belongings. Jeff turned to leave, then stopped. "Oh, and I guess a merry Christmas too, while I'm at it." He smiled. I looked around. Other people smiled back, except for Punk who seemed confused. However, I could say with certainty that Jerry Lynn -- Stefani -- had the biggest smile of all.

[The Third Dukes]

Ah, Joey Matthews. He is one of the few people I will admit to being a prop. His whole purpose of being here is to help advance Andy's character, and to play off of something that bothered me -- namely, that he got "used to" Trish. To be honest, he had to have zero reservations when male, or the eventual end of this story could not happen. However, it wouldn't make sense for him to dismiss it completely -- hence this compromise.

Smackdown. Nothing.

Laree's final OVW match is one that I think might have been a bit over the top, and I got asked why Laree wouldn't leave as a singles. To be honest, I don't know. I don't even know if this is how Cornette would've handled it. See, in OVW (I've been told), the idea of jumping to the WWE is integral to storylines. So... uh... you know what? This is all warmup. The real fun is in the next chapter.

Well, unless you count thinking of Laree without a shirt, which I could completely understand.

*****

Chapter 64

Flashbacks

Thursday, December 18, 2003, 02:35 PM

Louisville, KY

I got home early from the trip to Nashville so that I would be able to prepare some food for Valerie after her day of training. While most of OVW had Thursday off to recover from the TV show, Val insisted on going in and getting extra mic work done. She left a note saying she wanted everything to be perfect for Saturday.

I started to boil the water. I was never a good cook while I was alive. I was a guy; just thinking about learning to cook gave me a rash. But now -- well, I guess Alexis is very good at it. There may be a benefit to working within other people. If only I could carry my capabilities from one week to the next.

There was a knock on the door. That's strange. I didn't think Val would be home so soon. I went to look through the peephole and nearly squealed in delight. She knew the face, even if I didn't. I opened the door and jumped into the arms of the guy waiting for me. "Joey!" I said ecstatically. "What are... what are you doing here?"

He set me down and kissed me. "I wanted to go with you to Final Battle. You show up all the time for me -- now you have a big show, and I should show up for you."

I let him in and followed him. Joey -- Joey Matthews, one of 16 or so wrestlers who had been given the label of "the Future" -- walked over to the kitchen. "Cooking dinner already?"

"Well, it's my turn, and I wanted it to be ready for when Valerie got in," I started before turning off the water, "but I think she'll understand."

He smiled. We held hands as we walked back to the bedroom. As we approached the door, he stopped me and picked me up, carrying me into the room. I felt light as he kissed me again while setting me on the bed. I pulled him down to me as we kissed again, longer and stronger. His hands moved around my back and under my shirt.

I pressed myself closer to him as he slid my shirt up. I rolled myself on top and pulled back just long enough for him to remove it. I kissed him again, then began to play with the hem of his shirt. He moved his hands slowly, caressing my back along the way. I felt complete with him around as he went to touch my chest.

Suddenly, I gasped. His touch was no longer inviting, but alarming. He hadn't changed anything about his approach, but I began to feel cold and alert. I felt like I jumped back, even though we were still only a couple feet apart and in contact with each other.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I... I don't know..." What was it about his touch? He loves me! I began to search Alexis's memory banks for any indication as to what was wrong. I found nothing. "It's probably nothing," I said, sliding into his arms again. We kissed as he slid his hands down my spine. Just as he reached the pantline, though, I slapped his hands away.

"No, don't! Don't... please..."

"Are you all right? Did something happen to you?"

"It's... it's not that..." What is it? Why am I not allowing him to have fun? Why can't I? It was just fine when I was Maven, wasn't it? "I... I'm sorry. I guess I'm not as in the mood as I thought. Just let me... let me handle things."

"I don't understand. What did I do?"

"You're fine. It's not you, Joey. It's..." what IS it? "...it's me. I'm just not feeling right now. I don't know what's wrong."

"Alexis, are you hurt? I'm confused."

"I am too. I wanted to be with you so much, but... now that you're here... every time you... I just feel like I shouldn't. It's like I..."

I stopped. It hit me what the problem was. The problem wasn't with Alexis. It was with me. I didn't want Joey to touch me. I didn't want him feeling my chest or my hips or my inner thighs. I didn't want a guy doing any of that to me.

My God, no wonder I was ok with Maven and not now. Maven's a guy, and Alexis is a girl... and so was Nora.

"You what? Alexis? Is there something you need to tell me?"

My attention was snapped back to Joey. How could I explain this to him? He'd never believe me -- and I'm not allowed to tell anyway. "I'm sorry. But... with Amy... and what they're going through..."

Joey sat up, allowing himself to look into my eyes. "Alexis, girl, I won't do that to you. If somethin' happens to you, I want you to know I'll always be there. Why do you think I stopped right now? I want you to love me as much as I love you."

"Oh, Joey, I do," I said, feeling like I was melting from the sentiment. "But... I'm just scared."

"Of what?"

"Joey... you can't always be there. We don't run in the same circles for much longer. When the big boys call me up, I'm going to be all over the country. You'll find someone else, like Becky or Ally. It's just the way it is. You're away from someone long enough, and they leave your life for..."

He placed his fingertip on my mouth to silence me. "Not a chance. Why would I settle for them when I got you?"

I hugged him. He's saying everything I want to hear right now. He respects me. We fell back on the bed and remained in each other's arms.

*****

05:14 PM

I felt a hand rustle my shoulder. I slowly looked up to see Valerie standing over the bed, smiling. I looked around. We must have fallen asleep together. My shirt was no longer the only thing I didn't have; my dignity was missing, too.

"Val!"

Joey woke up as well, confused and embarrassed. "Hi, Valerie. Um..."

She laughed. "Oh, you two go ahead. Just wanted ta letcha know I was home. I'll be in the living room if ya need me. Just make sure to keep the door closed and not be too loud."

I looked at her, almost in shock. She laughed as she walked out, closing the door behind her. I looked at Joey and smiled. "I've never felt more at home than in your arms right now."

"Me too," he said.

*****

07:35 PM

We slowly woke up to the smell of meat being cooked floating through the apartment suite. I got up and put my shirt back on, then helped Joey out of bed. We kissed again, then went to join Valerie. She was in the kitchen, prepping a big meal for the three of us.

"Val, it's my day you know."

"Oh, don't worry, girl," she said. "This is so totally my honor. Besides, I figured you'd be too tired to cook anyway," she added with a wink.

My eyes went wide as I stared at her. "Val, what's that all about?"

She giggled. "Take a joke, Lexi. You're fine. Now, get the good wine out of the fridge. It should be just the right temperature for the meal. Joey, you are going to LOVE this."

Joey leaned over the grill and took a deep breath. "Oh, yeah, this is the kind of cooking I can live with! Wait..." he looked at Valerie suspiciously, "there isn't any of that new age crap in here, is there?"

"Joey!"

"Well, I had to ask."

We all laughed and spent the evening talking and eating and reminiscing. It was so much fun we almost forgot that SmackDown! was on. Almost.

*****

- The SmarKDown! Rant for Dec. 18 / 03, taped Dec. 16.

- From Jacksonville, FL.

- Your hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz.

- Opening match: Matt Hardy v. Ultimo Dragon. Matt Facts: Matt has a high sperm count, and Matt is a bachelor again. Okay, seriously, WWE, either shit or get off the pot here, because this is getting loony. Hardy goes after Dragon to start, but Dragon ducks a lariat and scores a rana. Handstand headscissors and handspring elbow send Matt out, and the Asai moonsault follows. Outside, Matt sends Ultimo into the STEEL steps and German suplexes him on the floor. Yeah, I don't think Yoshi needed his cervical vertebrae anyhow. Back in, it gets two. Matt with the yodelling legdrop for two. DDT gets two. Ultimo gets a legsweep and drop toehold to take over, and a standing moonsault gets two. To the top, but Matt grabs him, and the two fight over a superplex, which Ultimo wins by reversing in mid-air for a crossbody for two. Ultimo chops Matt into oblivion, then tries the ropeflip Asai DDT, but Matt ducks and Ultimo splats near the ropes. Matt pins him (with feet on the ropes) at 6:54. Tajiri runs in and goes ballistic afterward with kicks. Yeah, Matt doesn't need to get over or anything, considering he's the MOST ENTERTAINING HEEL ON THE ROSTER. God, I hate Vince. ***

- And Stephanie is back. Did we need her? She announces what we knew from last week: Angle and Hogan will meet at the Rumble. Again, I fail to see the point, since it's almost impossible to get a good match out of Hulk anyway. Meanwhile, tonight those two want to team up, so they get Haas and Benjamin in the main event. That might be good, if the right people don't wrestle. Oh well -- the WWE doesn't listen to anyone but Vince anyway.

- Los Maximos v. Rob Van Dam and Goldust. This can only help in the long run, since Goldust knows how to put a match together and RVD is crazy over, so the Maximo boys can learn from them. Jose starts with Goldy, and he gets in a leg lariat and rana. Goldust ducks a dropkick and scores with a sliding punch. Jose gets a swinging neckbreaker, then Joel hits a corkscrew moonsault for two. The boys switch off freely, never really tagging in and out and confusing the hell out of the referee. Jose gets a dropkick to Goldust's knee, then Joel scores a Thesz press off the top for two. Goldust is put in the Tree of Woe, and both Maximos gets baseball slides. Jose scores with a neckbreaker out of the Tree of Woe (ouch) for two. Joel adds a senton bomb for two. Jose goes for a sunset flip, but Goldust punches him down and gets a powerslam, hot tag RVD. RVD goes aerial with Jose, sending him down with a flying knee to the face. Joel gets a belly-to-belly, and both Maximos bail straight into an RVD pescado. Jose returns to the ring via a guillotine on Goldust, so Goldy comes in and punches him down. RVD gets a springboard crossbody on Jose, but Joel saves and the Maximos get a double suplex for two. Goldust tosses Joel and hits Shattered Dreams on Jose, but Joel tries to come off the top only to be caught by Goldust for a powerslam at 7:03. Total Nonstop Action that Jarrett's group WISHES they could put together. ***3/4 See what happens when you put people like the Maximos in there with actual wrestlers like RVD and Goldust as opposed to more spot monkeys like the X Division?

- John Cena talks about how he owns Rhyno in every way possible, including two or three we don't hear up in Canada. Rhyno enters the ring with a counterargument ("You suck") and the two brawl. As Rhyno heads to the back, Cena tells him to join the Rumble and feel the thug pain, which Rhyno accepts. So that's four guys now in the Rumble, counting HBK and Booker from RAW. Oh, and HHH, too, so five.

- Eddie Guerrero v. Rey Misterio. I don't think this'll touch their Halloween Havoc classic. Eddie punches him down on the outside to start, including a trip to the Lo Rider. Rey vaults off the Lo Rider and gets a rana. Back in the ring, Eddie gets a clothesline for two. Splash Mountain is maneuvered out of, as Rey lands on his feet and gets a seated dropkick on Eddie. Eddie staggers straight into a crossbody for two. Rey gets a headscissors into an armbar, but Eddie counters with a Samoan drop. Eddie gets the slingshot senton for two. Rey decides to borrow YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN for two. Rey goes up top and gets a spinkick for two. Eddie gets a modified chokeslam (!) for two, and keeps choking away. The crowd cheers him anyway. Eddie is my hero. Eddie rips at the mask and nearly gets it off, but Rey bails and hides under the ring as we go to commercial. We come back with Rey airballing on the West Coast Pop, and Eddie pinning him for two. El Paso Lasso, but Rey makes the ropes. Eddie puts his head down, and Rey backflips over him into an Edge-O-Matic for two. Eddie bails, so Rey gets a somersault hilo to wow the crowd. Back in, Rey forearms Eddie and gets a handspring mule kick for two. Now that's different. Eddie hits a German suplex for two, then the rolling verticals. Rey slides down on the third one, into a rollup for two. Eddie reverses the rollup and has the tights for three at 13:44. CHEAT TO WIN~! Match seemed to have no real flow to it, but it still rocked. ***1/4 Eddie then announces he'll win the Rumble to a HUGE pop. This is going to make the Angle/Hogan match very interesting, because they've been building Angle as Eddie's opponent, but Angle is doing great as a face. Hogan would be a good heel against Eddie, but given the X8 match, I don't know if they CAN turn him heel anymore. So that leaves three faces feuding for the belt entering WrestleMania, which is never good.

- Undertaker v. Brock Lesnar. Well, it's Rumble time, so I guess Callaway needs some ego stroking as we head to Mania. It'll be interesting to see how they do this. Lesnar does some amateur wrestling to start, into a legbar. Taker reverses by kicking Lesnar flush in the face, then grabs a headlock. Lesnar tries to throw Taker off, but Taker hangs on, so Lesnar turns it into a pinning combo for two. Taker grabs the arm, but Lesnar yanks it away and switches to a full nelson with bodyscissors. Taker makes the ropes. Lesnar tries a fireman's carry, but Taker hangs onto the arm and rolls through into an armbar. Lesnar bridges out and mounts Taker, but Taker interrupts the ground'n'pound with the goozle. Lesnar fights it off with elbow strikes to the arm, then wraps the arm around the ropes. Lesnar tries a Fujiwara armbar, but Taker blocks and goes for a front chancery. Lesnar tries to tackle Taker down, but Taker calmly sidesteps and goes for a forearm shiver with the bad arm. Lesnar does a 1/2 nelson on the bad arm into a rollup for two. Taker grabs Lesnar's leg and goes for a spinning toehold, but Lesnar powers out of it. Taker returns to a headlock, adding a few quick twists which Brock sells. Lesnar punches at Taker's bicep, then tries something vaguely resembling the Rings of Saturn, but Taker's feet are in the ropes. A frustrated Lesnar goes for a clothesline, but Taker ducks and gets a few punches to Lesnar's neck, followed by a dragon sleeper for the tapout at 5:54. No better or worse than any other worked-shoot fight I've seen. *1/4 Of course, Taker outwrestles the wrestler, but I'll let it go for now.

- Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas critique the last match in the back, then promise they'll outdo it in the main event.

- Paul London and Nova v. A.P.A. Remember these guys? Didn't think so. Nova and Simmons start, and Nova gets an enzuigiri right off the bat. London in, and a dropkick and bulldog follow. Simmons with a powerslam, but Nova dives off the top and legdrops Simmons on the way to the hot tag. London gets a Russian legsweep for two. London Bridge gets two. Nova back in, but Simmons gets the Angry Man Spinebuster, hot tag Bradshaw. Fallaway slam for Nova, but London gets a superkick to stop Bradshaw. Spin Doctor finishes at 3:42. This was there. 1/2*

- Kurt Angle promo. He says that Guerrero is simply another sore loser whom no one can respect. He claims that he'll face Hogan and be a man, win or lose. Tonight, someone will tap out. If this is building towards an Angle heel run, it would solve a lot of problems. I wonder if it'll work though.

- Main event: Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin v. Kurt Angle and The Orange Goblin. A reader requested I bring the nickname out of mothballs, so that's for him. Hogan, of course, isn't stinking up the joint like he used to -- clearly he's been keeping in great shape -- but it's still hard to imagine he'll be of much use one-on-one. Anyway, Haas and Angle start, and Angle gets a headlock takedown into an armbar. Haas stands up and reverses to a wristlock, and Angle gets a jawbreaker. Hogan enters and punches away, then gets the ten punches and bite. Shelton clotheslines Hogan down, and Haas goes for a leglock, but Hogan kicks him off. Angle back in, and Shelton tackles him from behind as Hogan argues. Shelton gets a gutbuster as Angle plays Ricky Morton to no one's shock. WGTT get the leapfrog choke while the ref is distracted. Haas enters with a German suplex for two. Doomsday Device gets two, Hogan saves. Haas tries an Angle Slam, but Angle flips out of it and DDTs Haas. Shelton cuts off the hot tag, though, and WGTT get a superkick into a German suplex for two. Angle runs chest-first into the turnbuckle, and Haas rolls him up (feet on the ropes) for two. Shelton superkicks Angle again, but the 450 misses, hot tag Hogan. Punches for everyone! Hogan eats boot on a charge, and WGTT get their atomic drop/superkick finisher for... two. Hulk up, but Angle gets flipped into the ring as the ref loses control. Hogan and Angle do a Doomsday Device on Haas, but Shelton ducks a Hogan lariat, which Angle takes. Angle and Hogan get into an argument, and WGTT dropkick Hogan into Angle, then roll up Hogan for the pin at 11:54. Angle and Hogan milk the dissention for all it's worth. *3/4

The Bottom Line:

Well, the wrestling was great in the first hour and okay in the second, which makes this a positive show in my book. However, if they're going to do something with Matt/Hurricane, the Rumble is the time to do it. Otherwise, a lot of people are going to be wondering what the heck is going on.

Oh, and that Hogan guy might want to try working, too. It's all the rage.

*****

Friday, December 19, 2003, 12:44 PM

Louisville, KY

"Okay, everyone, that's lunch!" Cornette blew his whistle and dismissed us. Valerie and I went over to the side, where we unpacked our bags and began to eat. Joey was watching the practice, lost in thought. I called him over.

"Something on your mind, hon?"

"Yeah, there is," he said. "I've been in negotiations with a group in Japan called Wrestling Marvelous Future. They're thinking of signing me. It could be the big break I"m looking for... but..."

"But what? This is what you've wanted, isn't it? You always talked about being seen over there."

"Yeah... but after what you said to me yesterday, I don't know. I feel like I should go ahead and decline. I... I don't want to drift from you, Alexis. I really don't. That's the last thing we need."

"Thanks. But you have my permission. Follow your dream." I kissed him to let him know I meant it. Joey remained by my side as we ate, preparing for the weekend in our bodies, our minds, and most importantly, our hearts.

*****

Saturday, December 20, 2003, 06:45 PM

Cincinnati, OH

We were backstage at the Gardens. Nerves were running high. A lot of the women were wondering if this would be the time they'd be declared ready for the Big Stage. We all knew Jim Cornette held our future in our hands. Some of us were more acutely aware of it than others.

"You know, it doesn't matter if we make the WWE, does it," asked Nattie Neidhart, attempting to stifle a grin. A member of the Hart family legacy through her mother, she had been born and raised in the Stampede region and was blazing a trail for the next generation of Harts -- or so she claimed. Others didn't see it that way.

"Just who do you think you're kidding?" Gail was frustrated, and everyone saw it. She had been to the top of the charts and was now back down to nothing. Her sudden demotion -- coming a few weeks after her humiliating loss at Survivor Series -- caught most of the women by surprise. Not me.

"Look, are you doing what you love? Isn't that enough?"

"Is it? Answer me this: are you happier back in Calgary or here in OVW? The door's open for you to leave at any time."

"Girl, calm down," said Jacqueline, maintaining her character's level of sass even off-camera. "We all ain't big dreamers here."

"And what about you? Don't you wanna go back to where you don't need to wrestle? You're so damn lucky -- all you need is to show off your tits and Vince will give you a job."

"Femmes, femmes, s'il vous plait," muttered Precious Lucy, the champion who moonlighted with the Rougeau-owned FLI. "Each of us has our own path to glory. It doesn't matter what our goals are -- we are here. We have a show. We need to do a show well, non?"

"Hey, she's right," I added. "Look, this may be my last time down here, so I want it to count, you got that? I don't want any jealousy to get into whether or not people are moving up or stuck where they don't belong or anything like that. If you let that affect you tonight, you're gonna have a lousy show, and then you'll never get the call."

"Nice to see some of us are still motivated," snapped Gail. "What do you need the call for? You got Raven to fall back on."

"Hey -- that's not the issue here. The issue is that we have to focus on this show. I'm on TV on Wednesdays as much as anyone else here. In fact, I have more pressure -- I don't get a bad day. I don't get to be edited out if I screw up. I'm here, all the time, and nothing can stop it. You wanna trade schedules, Gail?"

"Hey -- one month ago you'd have killed to be in my spot. You know it. I've been seen by crowds 10 times this size. Where have you been?"

"Hey, hey -- what's with all the bitterness?" Victoria stared at the both of us. "You don't hear me complaining, do you? I mean, it doesn't matter, but... look, Alexis is right about one thing. We gotta focus. We gotta be the best out there. Let's make the men jealous, shall we?"

There was an uneasy silence as we looked around. Finally, Brittany Summers spoke up. "I dunno about you, but I wanna kick ass tonight! Let's go!"

*****

07:22 PM

On my last night in OVW, I am in the first match. That just ain't right. Our opponents, Brittany Summers and Miss Natural, awaited in the ring. I turned to my partner -- Nattie -- and smiled. "You ready?"

"Of course I am. Let's have fun." That's the attitude I need!

We headed to the ring as my RoH music, "Seven Nation Army", kicked up. The crowd let out a huge cheer as I exited the backstage and came to the arena. I did a full spin on the way to the ring, then waited in the aisle for my partner. As the Hart Foundation's old music began, Nattie Neidhart joined me, charging the whole way. We both slid in and did stereo dropkicks on our foes. The bell rang.

Summers yelled on the outside as the referee moved me back to my corner. Miss Natural slid in and began pounding on Nattie, screaming all the time. Summers tagged in and grabbed a DDT, then covered for two. Summers struck away at Nattie as the crowd seemed bored. This match is going nowhere fast. I can see why they gave the girls time to work together, but what am I doing here? Oh yeah, Alexis is leaving soon... whatever, Corny.

Natural and Summers worked together on a double suplex, and again Nattie kicked out at two. Natural went for a cobra clutch, but Nattie bealed her over, then dropkicked her in the back of the head. She got up and, without much trouble, tagged me in. The crowd got excited again -- I guess they like that someone competent is in the match -- as I kicked away at Natural, then knocked Summers off the apron. Natural charged me, but I caught her with a back body drop, then a shining wizard as she got up. Might as well use something I learned from all my other times around the horn. I covered Natural, but Summers broke it up.

Nattie returned, and she tossed Summers from the ring. At this point, I looked at Nattie. "Let's do it now," I said. She beamed, then went for Miss Natural. We were going to perform something we had discussed as a finish backstage. Nattie held Natural up, much as her famous father before her had done. I bounced off the ropes and charged at Natural, leaping up and clotheslining her as Nattie fell forward. The Hart Attack lived again. I covered, and the crowd counted three.

We both celebrated in the ring, but it wasn't to last. Gail Kim, who was to face Precious Lucy for the Women's Title later that night, ran into the ring and stared me down. Tensions were high in the ring as the crowd watched. Thankfully for everyone involved, Gail simply smiled and hugged me. The other women in the match lifted me on their shoulders as I took in the cheers of the crowd. For them, it was the loss of one of their own. For me, it was time to move on.

*****

09:54 PM

It had been a long night. Everyone brought their best game, and Cornette was beaming with pride. Divine Storm won the tag belts from Kenny Bolin's henchmen with help from Shannon Ward, who was somehow able to hit her Frankenscreamer on Buchanan during a melee. Precious Lucy was still women's champ, while Johnny Jeter beat John Hennigan to retain the TV Title. The big news, however, was Carly Colon becoming the new OVW champion over Eric Angle -- news which meant that Angle might have been ready for a call-up soon.

As we all packed our bags and headed our separate ways, Valerie stopped me at the exit. "Um, just so you know, I'm gonna miss you," she said, dropping her Valley act and simply being herself. "You've taught me a lot in the short time I've been here, and I hope you succeed up in the big time. I want you to do well -- but I won't lie. It'll be nice to see you come back." She smiled. "Have fun in Philadelphia. I'm rooting for you."

I was touched. I didn't expect such an outpouring from someone who rarely took herself seriously. After all I had been through -- not just this week, but overall -- I couldn't believe that I wasn't expecting this. I didn't know how to react. My mind was racing as I put my last belongings in Joey's truck as we headed for Philly. I turned and hugged Val. "I'm gonna miss you, kid," I said.

"Hey," she responded, "what are friends for? Keep in touch, girl."