The Third Dukes

Isn't 16 months before the puck drops a little early to preview the 2011/2012 season?

And now for a sample of US soccer coverage: http://g.sports.yahoo.com/soccer/world-cup/news/yanks-not-such-easy-meat-after-all--fbintl_ap-wcup-johnleicester-130610.html

Hi. Where do I get my Robert Green Appreciation Society membership card? In all honesty, that was probably the best game of what's been a rather subpar Cup so far. Both teams went for goal a lot, and were it not for good plays in defense and keeping, this could've been 4-2 England. As it is, we'll take 1-1 and run like hell to the next match. Here's hoping for three points against Slovenia!

Your call, folks. These are listed in order from 1 to 10 as chosen by Yahoo's (not always respected) soccer reporter.

GROUP A: Mexico, South Africa (bwahaha France) GROUP B: Argentina, Nigeria GROUP C: England, United States GROUP D: Germany, Ghana GROUP E: Netherlands, Cameroon GROUP F: Italy, Paraguay (lucky Italians) GROUP G: Brazil, Portugal GROUP H: Spain, Chile Mexico d. Nigeria England d. Ghana Netherlands d. Paraguay Brazil d. Chile Argentina d. South Africa Germany d. United States (can't do it, I want to but can't) Cameroon d. Italy (bwahahaha) Spain d. Portugal England d. Mexico Brazil d. Netherlands Germany d. Argentina Spain d. Cameroon Brazil d. England Germany d. Spain Brazil d. Germany

Part of the problem those I've talked to have with the "beautiful game" is just because of the low scoring, but not because of its tedium. To me, basketball will produce the correct outcome more often than football -- by which I mean association football. In football, you can utterly dominate the game for the entire time and still not only not win, but LOSE because of a daft decision by the official in your penalty box. In basketball, the referees often have to make hundreds of score-altering calls per game, and very rarely do their decisions affect the outcome as far as wins and losses. That's the real reason that wasn't even touched on in this article: in sports such as gridiron or basketball, the team that plays better that day wins much more often than not. (And by the way, don't diss basketball -- last I checked it's the #2 sport in the world and Great Britain's the one behind the times. Or if you want to mock gridiron football, we'll mock cricket. Or snooker.) It's not just that upsets happen in football -- those are understandable. It's that unfair results happen. And that drives Americans up the wall.

No, that was "The Mist".

Yes, folks, if it's time to honor the best, it must be time to dishonor the worst as well. Here we go: WORST PICTURE: "Disaster Movie"/"Meet the Spartans" (joint entry), "The Happening", "The Hottie and the Nottie", "In the Name of the King", "The Love Guru" WORST ACTOR: Larry the Cable Guy ("Witless Protection"), Eddie Murphy ("Meet Dave"), Mike Myers ("The Love Guru"), Al Pacino ("88 Minutes"), Mark Wahlberg ("The Happening") WORST ACTRESS: Jessica Alba ("The Love Guru"), Annette Benning et al. ("The Women"), Cameron Diaz ("What Happens in Vegas"), Paris Hilton ("The Hottie and the Nottie"), Kate Hudson ("My Best Friend's Girl") WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Uwe Boll ("Postal"), Pierce Brosnan ("Mamma Mia!"), Ben Kingsley ("The Love Guru"), Burt Reynolds ("In the Name of the King"), Verne Troyer ("The Love Guru") WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Carmen Electra ("Disaster Movie"/"Meet the Spartans"), Paris Hilton ("Repo the Genetic Opera"), Kim Kardashian ("Disaster Movie"/"Meet the Spartans"), Jenny McCarthy ("Witless Protection"), Leelee Sobieski ("88 Minutes") WORST COUPLE: Uwe Boll + ANYTHING ("Postal"), Cameron Diaz + Ashton Kutcher ("What Happens in Vegas"), Paris Hilton + Joel David Moore ("The Hottie and the Nottie"), Larry the Cable Guy + Jenny McCarthy ("Witless Protection"), Eddie Murphy + Eddie Murphy ("Meet Dave") WORST DERIVATIVE IDEA: "The Day The Earth Blowed Up Real Good", "Disaster Movie"/"Meet the Spartans", "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull", "Speed Racer", "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" WORST DIRECTOR: Uwe Boll ("In the Name of the King"/"Postal"), Friedberg and Setzer ("Disaster Movie"/"Meet the Spartans"), Tom Putnam ("The Hottie and the Nottie"), Marco Schnabel ("The Love Guru"), M. Night Shyamalan ("The Happening") WORST "ORIGINAL" SCREENPLAY: "Disaster Movie"/"Meet the Spartans", "The Happening", "The Hottie and the Nottie", "In the Name of the King", "The Love Guru" Plus, they present a lifetime "achievement" award to Uwe Boll (which is German for Ed Wood)!

I, on the other hand, WILL post them. BEST PICTURE: "Benjamin Button", "Frost/Nixon", "Milk", "The Reader", "Slumdog Millionaire" BEST DIRECTOR: The same five movies, by David Fincher, Ron Howard, Gus Van Sant, Stephen Daldry, and Danny Boyle, respectively. BEST ACTOR: Richard Jenkins ("The Visitor"), Frank Langella ("Frost/Nixon"), Sean Penn ("Milk"), Brad Pitt ("Benjamin Button"), Mickey Rourke ("The Wrestler") BEST ACTRESS: Anne Hathaway ("Rachel Getting Married"), Angelina Jolie ("Changeling"), Melissa Leo ("Frozen River"), Meryl Streep ("Doubt"), Kate Winslet ("The Reader") BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Josh Brolin ("Milk"), Robert Downey Jr. ("Tropic Thunder"), Heath Ledger ("The Dark Knight"), Michael Shannon ("Revolutionary Road"), Philip Seymour Hoffman ("Doubt") BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Amy Adams ("Doubt"), Penelope Cruz ("Vicky Cristina Barcelona"), Viola Davis ("Doubt"), Marisa Tomei ("The Wrestler"), Taraji Henson ("Benjamin Button") BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: "Frozen River", "Happy-Go-Lucky", "In Bruges", "Milk", "WALL-E" BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: "Benjamin Button", "Doubt", "Frost/Nixon", "The Reader", "Slumdog Millionaire" My thoughts: Really a slapdash list, with not much variety out there. I hope Langella wins, because he did an amazing Nixon. Jolie should win just because everyone has said so. Downey's nomination is way out of left field, but I applaud it, even if I think they'll give it to Brolin -- Ledger has been getting too much hype for too long. Tomei should win, but that doesn't mean I'd make her the favorite -- I'd bet on Henson getting good coattails there. "WALL-E" is a great shocker, but look for "Milk" to take that category. For the others, I'm rooting for "Slumdog" but betting on "Button".

So it's not quite the Coca Cola League, but dig this:

Yahoo USA's Martin Rogers provides his prediction for the finish as well as his analysis of the 20 clubs: 1. Manchester United 2. Liverpool 3. Chelsea 4. Arsenal 5. Aston Villa 6. Everton 7. Tottenham Hotspur 8. Newcastle United 9. Fulham 10. Bolton Wanderers 11. Hull City 12. Wigan Athletic 13. Manchester City 14. Sunderland 15. Portsmouth 16. Middlesbrough 17. Blackburn Rovers 18. West Ham United 19. Stoke City 20. West Bromwich ANALYSIS: 1. Liverpool. Could 2009 be the year that the Anfield giant finally ends a league title drought that has lasted for nearly two decades? Only one defeat bodes well, as does a rock solid defense that has only let in 12 goals so far. This is a team full of confidence, both at home and in Europe. The season could end up as a resounding success or with nothing to show for it, but Rafa Benitez has done exactly what he had to do by the turn of the year – put Liverpool in contention. Grade: A 2. Chelsea. The Blues are starting to resemble the former prom queen who has seen better days. Sure, second place and an unbeaten away record is a solid enough platform. However, head coach Big Phil Scolari has increasingly shown signs of frustration, and reports suggesting owner Roman Abramovich has been credit-crunched could restrict winter spending. Nicolas Anelka is scoring for fun and the defense is a fortress, but Scolari’s men will have to rise in big games against their title rivals if they are to secure the trophy. Grade: B-minus 3. Aston Villa. Martin O’Neill likes to credit his “special group of players” with Villa’s success this season, which sees the Birmingham club with a legitimate shot at qualifying for next year’s Champions League. In reality, it has just as much to do with O’Neill, a special breed of manager who is finally tapping Villa’s long-suppressed potential. Owner Randy Lerner also deserves credit for the way he has backed O’Neill in the transfer market, but keeping hold of Ashley Young in January is imperative. Grade: A 4. Manchester United. Seven points back with two games in hand, world club champions – all without hardly breaking a sweat. United has been far from its mighty best at times this season, but there will certainly be no panic at Old Trafford, where a repeat of the EPL-Champions League double is not beyond reason. Expect another chapter in the Cristiano Ronaldo-Real Madrid saga but don’t be surprised to see United hunt down Liverpool and Chelsea as the season wears on. Grade: B-minus 5. Arsenal. Serious problems are abound at the Emirates Stadium. Boardroom unrest is casting a shadow over the club and things are no better on the field. Arsene Wenger is under more pressure than at any time in his reign and Cesc Fabregas could be out for three months with knee ligament damage. Strength in depth should ensure a top-four finish, but Aston Villa is putting up a strong challenge. Gunners fans are rightly nervous. Grade: D 6. Hull City. Tasting life in the Premier League for the first time ever, Hull’s chances of finishing anywhere but bottom of the EPL seemed as remote as George Bush attending a shoe convention in downtown Baghdad. Talismanic Brazilian Geovanni has pulled the strings with a series of breathtaking goals and assists, as Hull has deployed a brand of soccer rarely seen from a newly promoted side by attacking with two strikers away from home. Maybe it won’t last, but already Hull has added color and unpredictability to the season and deserves huge credit. Grade: A-plus 7. Everton. No strikers? No problem. David Moyes has been without a single first-choice forward for the past two weeks, yet Everton still marches on steadily. Puzzlingly mediocre home form has been offset by six away wins, and when James Vaughan and Louis Saha return to fitness, the club will like its chances of securing a UEFA Cup place in the second half of the campaign. Grade: B 8. Fulham. They can’t win away from home, but it doesn’t matter. Roy Hodgson’s team is on course to pick up enough points at Craven Cottage to ensure there are no late headaches. Jimmy Bullard and Danny Murphy oversee one of the hardest working midfields in the league, and there is some genuine room for optimism. Grade: B-plus 9. Bolton Wanderers. A nice little run of five wins in eight games has lifted Bolton to a comfortable mid-table position, where it will probably remain for most of the season. Swedish striker Johan Elmander is settling in nicely and should contribute enough goals to keep the team clear of any danger. Grade: B 10. Portsmouth. Losing Harry Redknapp was a bitter blow, but even a patchy recent run shouldn’t take the gloss off a decent start. New boss Tony Adams will have some concerns over consistency. He will be keen to replace Real Madrid-bound Lassana Diarra as a matter of urgency. Grade: B-minus 11. Wigan Athletic. Emile Heskey and Amir Zaki have caused opposing defenses all kinds of trouble and will be sure to attract interest from bigger clubs during the January transfer window. Wigan seems to have found a happy place under Steve Bruce and should be consistent enough to be immune to danger of the drop. Grade: B 12. Newcastle United. A few good results and suddenly Joe Kinnear’s appointment doesn’t look quite so ridiculous. So much so, that the veteran manager is in charge until the end of the season. Progress will always be stunted until owner Mike Ashley can offload his stake, an option that is becoming increasingly unlikely as fiscal factors grip England. Michael Owen won’t be around for much longer, but Newcastle is growing in belief and should finish in the top half. Grade: C-minus 13. Sunderland. Roy Keane’s sudden walkout appeared to leave the Black Cats mired in crisis just a couple of weeks ago. But then Ricky Sbragia (Ricky who?) engineered two straight wins with eight goals scored and lifted hopes again. Plenty of money was spent on this squad last summer. It just needs the right man at the helm. Grade: B-minus 14. Middlesbrough. No wins in six games and all of a sudden Middlesbrough looks genuinely vulnerable. Stewart Downing and Tuncay Sanli look likely to move on to greener pastures, so Boro could face a tricky fight for survival in the closing months. Grade: B-minus 15. Stoke City. Life in the EPL is tough for newcomers. Stoke can be reasonably satisfied with its start and is halfway toward survival if it can continue to chip away at building a solid points tally. Home wins against Arsenal, Villa and Tottenham have been the highlights, along with Rory Delap’s remarkable throw-ins that are more effective than corner kicks. But a lack of depth could haunt them at the business end of the season. Grade: B 16. Tottenham. The Spurs have had such a Jekyll-and-Hyde season that an accurate rating is hard to evaluate. Two points from eight games was an atrocious start that doomed Juande Ramos, but Harry Redknapp has led a stirring and immediate revival. Only one point separates Tottenham from the relegation zone. Make no mistake, though, it is on the way up. Grade: B 17. West Ham. Underperforming, embarrassing and having little chance of achieving their goals – and that’s just the owners of West Ham. The Hammers will be held back for as long as Icelandic businessman Bjorgulfur Gudmundsson demands an extortionate amount of money for his stricken club. Relegation would be no shock. Grade: D 18. Manchester City. Does it take time for a new manager and new players to settle in? Yes. Is there any way a squad featuring Robinho, Elano, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Stephen Ireland and Micah Richards should be in the bottom three? No way. City’s spending power, backed by a mighty Arab oil consortium, is frightening. What is more scary for City supporters, though, is a woeful six-game winless run that has put boss Mark Hughes in danger of the sack. Grade: D-minus 19. Blackburn Rovers. Sam Allardyce has come in to try to sort out the mess left behind by Paul Ince. Yet questions remain as to whether there are enough quality players in the squad to survive. Their one world-class player, Roque Santa Cruz, looks likely to leave next month, and Rovers could have trouble convincing potential replacements that their future is bright. Grade: D 20. West Bromwich Albion. As expected, they’re just not good enough. Albion will pick up a few wins in the second half, yet it is hard to see it making a real run at staying up. The reality is that this is a team too strong for the Championship but clearly too weak for the top flight. Grade: C

Lower English clubs vote for ‘homegrown’ players By STUART CONDIE, AP Sports Writer 6 hours, 15 minutes ago LONDON (AP)—English clubs playing in the three levels below the Premier League voted Thursday to force the inclusion of at least four so-called “homegrown” players on their squads starting next season. The Football League, which governs England’s three lower-tier professional divisions, said that a 16-man squad will have to include at least four players who have been registered in the country for a minimum of three seasons before their 21st birthday. That should guarantee four English players in each squad, which could boost attempts to develop better players for the national team, the league said. “I would like to compliment Football League clubs for having the foresight to make changes that will benefit the wider game,” league chairman Brian Mawhinney said. “As a result of today’s vote, those players being developed will have a greater chance to demonstrate their talent at first-team level.” Clubs have been criticized for favoring foreign players at the expense of developing local talent. The policy can bring instant success, but with the long-term effect is a smaller pool of eligible players for the national team. The Football League said the decision sidesteps concerns it could contravene European labor law by not exclusively favoring English players. Clubs could still sign players 18 or younger from overseas, emulating Arsenal’s youth program. They would count as homegrown by the time they reach 21.

So to put this in table form: GROUP 1 GROUP 2 GROUP 3 GROUP 4 GROUP 5 Egypt Cameroon Nigeria Ghana Cote d'Ivoire Algeria Morocco Tunisia Mali Guinea Zambia Gabon Kenya Benin Burkina Faso Rwanda Togo Mozambique Sudan Malawi My thoughts are that Ghana has the easiest path to the Cup, while Cameroon has the hardest. If I had to predict, I'd say Algeria, Morocco, Nigeria, Ghana, and Cote d'Ivoire, but we'll see in 2009.

So the US is through to the Hex with two matches to spare after thrashing Cuba 6-1. Beasley owned the game in the first half, and after the Cuban player got sent off (a shame, really, because his first yellow was iffy but the second had to be called), the game just went to hell for Cuba. I hope I see some of these players in the US in the future, wink wink. Also, may I just add lol, mexico