I have a shot at banging Scarlett Johansson...

[Numbahs]

Scarlett bangs "Ugly Dude" in elevator...

....that dude looks like a rat.

[BlackFlagg]

that lucky bastage...

[Boulder]

Well, she sounds like a real idiot. And fame is the ultimate aphrodisiac. The best looking nobody in the world gets less ass than Orville Redenbacher.

[Numbahs]

The age difference between her and Del Toro is kinda creepy...I mean, I can't imagine fucking someone who's almost 40.

[Ananas]

You could bang Scarlett Johansson... if you could get her a role in a Steven Soderbergh picture. Benicio can, and will thus continue to bang SJ as he pleases, even if it's "unsanitary"

[caucasianheat]

That guy gets uglier every time I see him. Yeesh. Scarlett can do so much better.

[Numbahs]

Beatnik obviously didn't see my class work in Full Frontal...I was able to pound out something good out of the crap I was given to work with.

Scarlett would've been impressed.

[Ananas]

Beatnik obviously didn't see my class work in Full Frontal...I was able to pound out something good out of the crap I was given to work with.

Scarlett would've been impressed.

←

Duchovny was in Full Frontal. Do you really think Soderbergh's answering his calls?

[Guest Ringmaster]

Fucking a celebrity must be fun. I should put it on my to-do list.

[Godfatha]

Fucking a celebrity must be fun. I should put it on my to-do list.

←

Some people can't be that lucky I guess. Who are you to think that you could bang a celebrity? Oh right, you're from Quebec.

[Guest Ringmaster]

Some people can't be that lucky I guess. Who are you to think that you could bang a celebrity? Oh right, you're from Quebec.

←

I dunno, Quebec seems to have its fair share of celebrities lurking around, dont ya say?

[Godfatha]

More than Winnipeg obviously, tell me if you do see a celebrity you'll snap a pic for me right?

[Ananas]

More than Winnipeg obviously, tell me if you do see a celebrity you'll snap a pic for me right?

←

Didn't Jennifer Lopez film a movie in Winnipeg? Then a piece of her jewlery was stolen and recovered at a murder scene?

[Godfatha]

Didn't Jennifer Lopez film a movie in Winnipeg? Then a piece of her jewlery was stolen and recovered at a murder scene?

←

That's true, but I don't recall it being found at a murder scene. I could be wrong though.

To be fair to Winnipeg we have had our share of celebrities but they were just very secluded and couldn't wait to get out of there.

Let's see, we've had Lopez, Gere, Harrison Ford, Brian Dennehey, Shannon Elizabeth, Ben Affleck (visiting Lopez) and there's probably more but I couldn't really care because like I said, they were very secluded.

[SeanDMan]

When NASA announced they were visiting Mars, the Canadian government said if they wanted to go to a lifeless, frozen barren wasteland, they'd just go to Winnepeg.

[Godfatha]

When NASA announced they were visiting Mars, the Canadian government said if they wanted to go to a lifeless, frozen barren wasteland, they'd just go to Winnepeg. 

←

BWAHAHA.

Spell it right dude

Speaking of which, it just snowed fucking 15 cm here. It's the MIDDLE OF MAY AND IT'S SNOWING!

And for everyone else, do NOT make any jokes about this....

[SeanDMan]

I dunno how to spell it.

And BTW that was from Conan O'Brien in Canada last night...funny stuff.

[Troy Maskell]

[obvious Fark.com joke]

Whenever hot female celebritys admit to banging ugly fellow actors.....The Sun is there

[/obvious Fark.com joke]

Benicio Del Toro? I really thought she had higher standards

[Guest bruins72]

All I need to do is get famous. I've already got ugly down pat. And it says she liked older guys. Over 30 she says? I'm there (barely).

[Guest homerjfry]

I don't blame him at all. Lucky bastard.