Most Bizarre Lyrics?

[MalaCloudy Black]

What are the most bizarre lyrics you've ever heard? I'm thinking MF Doom or maybe Mike Patton can win hands-down, Doom's got.. well.. you know, his entire fucking discography.

And then with Patton there's songs like Peeping Tom's "Don't Even Trip", which I swear has a line that goes "and I know assholes grow on trees, and I'm here to pick up the leaves"

What bizarro shit have you guys heard?

[Dr. Rated-R]

I've always found Radiohead to have really... interesting lyrics.

But the obvious choice here is those shit "shock tactic" lyric bands like Cannibal Corpse.

[Steeb]

Blood Brothers lyrics are pretty 'weird' really. Amazing lyrics, and some great imagery, but they still have a certain 'WTF?' factor to them.

Agreed on Patton's lyrics though.

[Liam]

And then with Patton there's songs like Peeping Tom's "Don't Even Trip", which I swear has a line that goes "and I know assholes grow on trees, and I'm here to pick up the leaves"

"I know that assholes grow on trees, and I'm here to trim the leaves

Basically, I'm gonna get rid of some assholes.

[MalaCloudy Black]

yeah, I know what it means, Liam, thanks. I'm not dumb, but I know you think I am now I just thought it was a bizarre way of putting it

[Liam]

yeah, I know what it means, Liam, thanks. I'm not dumb, but I know you think I am now I just thought it was a bizarre way of putting it

I didn't think you were dumb, I was just correcting you on the lyrics

[tristy]

GWAR.

[Crybaby Bunting]

Jello Biafra? He's written some crazy stuff with the Dead Kennedy's and with numerous side projects.

Just check out The Power of Lard

Lard

You can see it

In the clouds up in the sky

Lard

Floats by in clusters

In our water supply

Lard

It's all of us, man

In our pores and in our hair

Lard's

What we conceal

With these corny clothes we wear

Lard is all

Lard is divine

Lard is control

Lard whips and chains our soul

Lard, We carry credit cards

Lard, We live in fear of art

Lard is the OM

Lard is revolution

Lard is the tapeworm

In the bottle of cheap tequila

That comes alive at night

And sneaks up

And bites your nipple

Lard

Lard

Nowadays, most of us need someone

To run our personal life

Someone to see that

The plants are watered,

Someone to make sure the place is clean,

Someone to make sure dinner is waiting,

Someone to call for theatre tickets,

Someone to make up those cheap excuses

What we need is

Lard, The answer

Lard, The dancer

Lard, The ointment

Lard, The dream

Absorb it

Inflame it

Respect it

Molest it

The country right now just wants to be

Soothed, and told it doesn't have to pay or

Sacrifice or learn

No one is over the hill

When the mountain comes to Mohammed

Lard

Lard

Lard

Lard, We love to eat

Lard, We love to pray

Lard, Mold over mind

Lard, Hooray

Every time I take a crap

It's a cosmic experience

Religion and chemicals

Are the key to the future

Next time we have sex

Just pretend I'm Ed Meese

The weasels have it down, man

It's a whole new age

Lard

Which would you prefer

A computer or a gun

The sharks out lived the dinosaurs, you know

Pity the poor trainer

In the stable when the race horse farts

Poison oak really is

The aphrodisiac of the Gods

When people are asleep

We must all become alarm clocks

Hey, man

Life is my college

It's Dental Floss of the mind

Who will babysit the babysitters

Ever hear about that guy in New York whose dick

Fell off in the bath after he shot it full of coke

It's OK to run out of butter in Zambia

Just smear squashed caterpillars on your toast

Waiter, there's a terrorist in my soup

Which came first- Max Headroom or Gerald Ford

Are you a man or are you a mouse

If you love your fun- Die for it

And feel

The Power of Lard

The Power of Lard

The Power of Lard

The Power of Lard

Avoid everything, etc

[apsham]

Perhaps I'll go with Say Anything here:

Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too

if i die and go to hell real soon

it will appear to me as this room

if for enternity i'd lay in bed

in my boxers, half stoned

with the pillow under my head

i'd be chatting on the interweb

maggots pray upon the living dead

i had no interest in the things she said

on the phone every day

i'll permanently hit the hay

i called her on the phone

and she touched herself

i laughed myself to sleep

at this rate

i'll be heading for electric chairs

i'm only human with my cross to bear

when she described her underwear

i forgot all the rules

my rabbi taught me in the old school

you're too young to be this empty girl

i'll prepare you for a sick dark world

know that you'll be my downfall

but i call and i call and i call

i don't know what i want

(i met you on the internet)

A song about phone sex.

Little Girls

I kill, kill, kill little girls.

I kill, kill, kill little girls.

It's such a thrill, thrill, thrill to the world

when i kill, kill, kill little girls.

Don't you come near me.

Don't you come close to me.

Why don't you fear me?

Don't dance so close to me.

Don't you come near me.

Don't you come close to me.

Because they won't let me stop now.

I hate, hate, hate what you are.

(You're so pretty when you fly right by.)

I hate, hate, hate what you are.

(I want to flush out your family line.)

Cuz i'm the punk rock, punk rock star!

(You're everything I despise.)

I hate, hate, hate what you are.

Don't you come near me.

Don't you come close to me.

Why don't you fear me?

Don't dance so close to me.

Don't you come near me.

Don't you come close to me.

Because they wont let me stop now.

Because I won't stop, can't stop now.

The last 12 hours of my day,

but it's okay,

just black it out.

Evil things in my pants

forever fearing contact.

Whoa, yeah!

Whoa!

Now i know why i wanna be left alone.

Last 12 hours of my day,

but it's okay,

just black it out.

I'm a psycho!

Whoa!

I'm a psycho!

Whoa!

Don't you come near me. (I'm a psycho. Whoa!)

Don't come close to me. (I'm a psycho. Whoa! )

Why don't you fear me? (I'm a psycho. Whoa!)

Don't dance so close to me. (I'm a psycho. Whoa!)

All in a happy tone!

[MalaCloudy Black]

Oh, and as far as Patton I'll also cite "Edge of the World" by Faith No More. It's not really that bizarre lyrically, I guess, but the concept is fucking weird.

[Liam]

Oh, and as far as Patton I'll also cite "Edge of the World" by Faith No More. It's not really that bizarre lyrically, I guess, but the concept is fucking weird.

For Patton, I find it hard to beat "Zombie Eaters"

You're everything

That's why I cling to you

When I emerge

My thoughts converge to you

To you

The world is so small

Compared to you

And everybody's wrong

Compared to you

To you

I begin to see through your eyes

All the former mysteries are no surprise

So now, you listen

'Cause I'm omniscient

Hey look at me lady

I'm just a little baby

You're lucky to have me

I'm cute and sweet as candy

As charming as a fable

I'm innocent and disabled

So hug me and kiss me

Then wipe my butt and piss me

I hope you never leave

Cuz who would hear me scream?

Nobody understands

Except the toys in my hands

So now you listen

Cuz I'm omniscient

Hey look at me lady

I'm just a little baby

If I smile, then you smile

Then I'll get mad for awhile

I melt in your mouth

And in your hands whenever I can

But I really do nothing

Except kickin' and fussin'

I like to make a mess

I laugh at your distress

I sit all day in my crib

Absorbing all you give

I'm helpless

I'm flawless

I'm a machine

Give me, I need my toys...

Keep me hot

Keep me strong

Keep me everlong

So now you listen

'Cause I'm omniscient

Just weird conceptually, and bizare-ish

[Skummy]

Oh, and as far as Patton I'll also cite "Edge of the World" by Faith No More. It's not really that bizarre lyrically, I guess, but the concept is fucking weird.

It's not that weird, it's pretty much just a song about a guy who's attracted to a girl much younger than him.

I read an interview with Mike Patton in Plan B this month, where he said that he feels his lyrics have got progressively worse the more music he's recorded, and that the way he tends to write lyrically is just to make baby noises and phonetic "non-words" over the music, and then work out what real words will fit afterwards, which is why a lot of his stuff is fairly bizarre, especially in Fantomas (where a lot of the time he didn't even bother using real words) and in Mr. Bungle.

I don't know about weird lyrics, though...there's some stuff on "He Poos Clouds" by Final Fantasy which is really deep and meaningful when you read into it, but on the surface is just bizarre. Stuff like "Gotta rescue Michael from the White Witch! Gotta find and kill my shadow self! Gotta dig up every secret seashell!", for example.

One of my favourite ludicrous lyrics is still "Ziggy played for time, jiving us that we were Voodoo" from Ziggy Stardust, though.

[zero]

Deftones - Chino has said on several occasions he has no idea what his songs are about.

Mars Volta... nuff said.

[Liam]

Deftones - Chino has said on several occasions he has no idea what his songs are about.

That for some reasons sparks me wanting to say Nirvana. Not necessarily bizarre or overtly weird, but some of them are pretty hard to deciper, and suggest to me that they were either lyrics that meant little or that that they were actually pretty introspective, thus hard to decipher.

I tend to lean towards the former though.

[sirdavinator]

You mark your skin, it gives you pleasure

I take your precious art, it becomes my leather

lol

[Skummy]

Deftones - Chino has said on several occasions he has no idea what his songs are about.

That for some reasons sparks me wanting to say Nirvana. Not necessarily bizarre or overtly weird, but some of them are pretty hard to deciper, and suggest to me that they were either lyrics that meant little or that that they were actually pretty introspective, thus hard to decipher.

I tend to lean towards the former though.

He might have just been being flippant, but I remember an interview with Kurt where he said that none of his lyrics really meant anything (aside from the obvious like "About A Girl"), but he got sick of people coming up to him and giving him their interpretations, or asking him what they meant, so he spent longer on In Utero to try and write songs that were actually meaningful.

[zero]

Yeah, In Utero is far more understandable than anything on Nevermind.

[Steeb]

Mars Volta... nuff said

[zero]

Bottom line is, when I open up the lyrics booklet for a Mars Volta record, I get a severe migraine.

[tristy]

My favorite 'Volta record is Tremulant, just because the imagery is simple yet amazing, and the songs don't have a basic theme to them like De-Loused or Frances did.