The Three Red Lights of Death

[Hutch2004]

Stupid Microsoft and their stupid cheap solder. My Xbox cut out while I was playing Dead Rising, and didn't start again, just flashing the dreaded three red lights of doom, which apparently signifies a hardware failiure. So now I need to get it fixed. I spent ages on the website, before I reached the horrible conclusion I'm going to have to do this over the phone. Sigh.

So, not unsurprisingly, I get an elderly Pakistani woman. Who, through no fault of her own, is impossible to understand, and finds my accent impenetrable. The next agonising half hour went like this.

"Ok, sir......... *sigh*. What's your.......*sigh* name please?"

"Andrew Hutchinson".

"Fart lettuce please."

"What?"

"Fast Lettuce Peas."

"What? I can't understand what you're saying."

"First......"

"Yes."

"Letter."

"Got you."

"Please."

"Oh right! A..... N.....D"

"A for Alpha?"

"Uh.... yes."

"Ho-k. *sigh* Next lettuce peas."

"N."

"M for Mountain?"

"N! N for News"

...........And it went on like that. For half an hour. I had to spell my name, my address, and repeat my phone number about 6 times. I feel so fucking drained. I don't even know what I'm meant to do once the UPS guy turns up, because she mumbled when she explained it, again when I asked her to repeat it and then just went straight on with her instructions. Do they provide the box or what?

Has this (the technical problem, not so much the mind-numbing phone call) happened to anyone else? What did you do about it?

Edited March 13, 2007 by Hutch2004

[- Trips -]

Your 360 will be getting couriered away to the delightful people at the Microsoft Xbox Repair Centre. Mine's been twice and my flatmate's 3 times.

Here's what to watch for:

No hard drive or cables to go with it.

If you have discs in the drive, get them out. There's no guarantee of getting them back if you forget. I nearly lost Double Agent like that.

Faceplates. Take them off and put the white one on, as if they have trouble fixing your machine they'll send a new one back and typically they'll not bother with the faceplate.

You need to pack the machine up yourself for UPS, then attach the label they send you (it is possible to get the labels Emailed to you, but it sounds like your Customer service person was crap). You can track it to Microsoft via UPS' website if you keep a note of the Package number.

Then you wait 2-4 weeks to get it back. Sadly they won't be any more specific than that, even if you phone and hassle them. It'll come back in a custom fitted box tho, which is handy if you ever need to send it away again.

[Skummy]

If you have discs in the drive, get them out. There's no guarantee of getting them back if you forget. I nearly lost Double Agent like that.

How do you nearly lose a game when you send a console away? Surely either you get it back or you don't?

[- Trips -]

Well I had my machine picked up and on its way to be repaired, next day I went to play Double Agent on the other 360 aaaaaaaaaaand in the box there was nothing. One scramble round the living room later I realised what I must have done with it. Phoned up Microsoft who got someone at the Repair center on the line who said they'd opened it up and had the disc stored with my machine.

But it does say in the instructions for sending your machine away not to send any discs with it, which allows them to get away with it if it doesn't come back. Faceplates aren't mentioned in the instructions but my flatmate lost his Gears of War one to the repair center.

[Hutch2004]

Alright, sounds fairly straight forward. So where did you get the box from to fit the Xbox?? I'm guessing it's not supplied??

[- Trips -]

Just bubble wrap and brown paper it, unless you have some suitable cardboard box to pack it in. (Y)

[zero]

Just bubble wrap and brown paper it, unless you have some suitable cardboard box to pack it in. (Y)

Like the 360 box?

Never throw away your console boxes... they'll make your life a lot easier when they fuck up. And if you have a Sony or Microsoft system, they will.

Edited March 13, 2007 by Zero

[- Trips -]

Well you could send it in the console box but thats not what its coming back in so you would lose your original box that way. They advise you to pack it in something plain that doesn't indicate the value of whats inside but its UPS who handle them so it should be safe either way.

[oldskool]

They might send you a box. They sent me one when I shipped mine back a few months ago; it's just slightly larger than the 360 itself and there's a set of directions on what to do inside.

[zero]

If you put it in the console box and wrap it in brown paper, this it's unknown what's inside. Plus, they send the console back in a box which you can also use if you need to ship the replacement back. This happened with my PS2... i shipped it back in the original box and sent me back a refurbished model in a rather plain white box that just says "Playstation 2" on the side.

[alldaws1]

If you put it in the console box and wrap it in brown paper, this it's unknown what's inside. Plus, they send the console back in a box which you can also use if you need to ship the replacement back. This happened with my PS2... i shipped it back in the original box and sent me back a refurbished model in a rather plain white box that just says "Playstation 2" on the side.

They specifically tell you not to use your Xbox 360 box.

This happened to me a few months ago. I got a foreign woman too but I was just about able to understand her. My dad got me a box from his work, I put the console in there with some packing paper we had lying around, printed the UPS label they e-mailed me and taped it to the box. UPS picked it up on the same Friday I phoned them to arrange delivery (or they phoned me? I can't remember :/). A week later I phoned Microsoft (I actually got through to someone I could understand easily) just to see whether they'd fixed it yet and they had, they'd actually sent it back to me that morning and I had it Monday morning. So it took 10 days total. (Y)

Edited March 14, 2007 by AD

[Hutch2004]

UPS picked up my box an HOUR after I phoned them. Now THAT is service!!

So my Xbox is now winging it's way across the country to get fixed.

The box I had was HUGE, so I wrapped the Xbox in bubble wrap, then used nearly a whole roll of cellotape to create a kind of scaffold around it to hold it in the middle of the box. I just hope it doesn't come lose, otherwise, it'll be in bits.

[The Kraig]

Strange. You're supposed to be sent a special box, or 'coffin' as it's known to many.

And if I got someone I couldn't understand I'd immediately hang up and phone again. I do that for everything. If you can't speak understandable English, why the fuck are you working in a calls department for English-speaking people?

[Guest Ant]

LOL my dad does that too. Sky are the worst. He phoned up one day and immediately got a paki..my dad said "I cant understand a word your saying"..the guy on the other end said he would pass along to someone else..only a Glaswegian scot!

Its like that everywhere though..Sky, BT, Microshite.

[timbawolf]

LOL my dad does that too. Sky are the worst. He phoned up one day and immediately got a paki..my dad said "I cant understand a word your saying"..the guy on the other end said he would pass along to someone else..only a Glaswegian scot!

Its like that everywhere though..Sky, BT, Microshite.

[K]

Ugh.

[apsham]

Ugh.

[Skummy]

lol, asians.

[MalaCloudy Black]

Asians speak funny lol

[The Kraig]

LOL my dad does that too. Sky are the worst. He phoned up one day and immediately got a paki..my dad said "I cant understand a word your saying"..the guy on the other end said he would pass along to someone else..only a Glaswegian scot!

Its like that everywhere though..Sky, BT, Microshite.

Lol, that reminded me of my mate when he rung up T-Mobile about a month ago. He was ringing to see about if his contract payment for his phone had gone through, because they said it hadn't. He rings up and gets an Asian on the phone, so after about 15 mins of trying to get a word he could understand out of him, he asked for another operator to get on the phone. On comes a Scottish bird. He immediately hung up and rang back. On his second try he got a fuckin Geordie. After about 2 minutes, he didnt have a clue what they were saying and hung up. I don't think he's rung up for it since although he lost 50 bar.

All captured on loudspeak and needless to say we had a fair laugh about it.