So offensive

[YI]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUTIOjZejFI

Oh...my...god...I want to cry.

[ROC]

I still maintain that "A Bay Bay" is worse.

[apsham]

This is a fucking piece of shit. No really... this fucking offends me.

[Robsturgh]

Yes, lets fit in with the crowd and be popular by throwing on lots of make-up and sleeping with a lot of men! Check it!

[thatshortguy]

...and she's working with Avril Lavigne, ladies and gents.

Avril Lavigne & Lil' Mama - Girlfriend (Remix) -- aka "When Avril went from slightly on my radar to the point where I'm like all 'Avril-wha?'

[YI]

Avril Lavigne & Lil' Mama - Girlfriend (Remix) -- aka "When Avril went from slightly on my radar to the point where I'm like all 'Avril-wha?'

[Jeff Jeffries]

Oh...my...god...

The random punk guy during the lip gloss video breakdancing made me laugh for about 5 seconds, at least.

[JoeMimic]

Yup. Like Dead Prez said "Turn off the radio/turn off that bullshit"

[Gazz]

Spoiler: Click here to view

Week 4 July 2008

Raw

The first Raw after the Great American Bash was kicked off with another appeal for calm from the McMahon siblings, making particular attention to the wanton act of violence perpatrated by John Bradshaw Layfield the previous week.

This was then followed by an appearence by JBL himself, basking in the glory of his victory the night previous but also feeling the physical toll. JBL quickly got down to business, producing a decree, apparently from Mr. McMahon himself, that installed JBL as the new General Manager of Raw. JBL continued that his first act would be to name himself as the new number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship.

This understandably did not sit well with Batista, interrupting JBL and making his way down to the ring, anger written across his face. Batista questioned JBL decision regarding the number one contendership status, arguing that if it were not for outside interference, he would be standing here tonight, the new World Heavyweight Champion. Batista declared that if JBL wanted that number one contendership, he'd have to earn it, and that meant going through Batista first, he also commented that that goes for anyone else on the roster who has their eye on the title.

JBL was incredulous to Batista's remarks, telling him he had his shot and he blew it, JBL stated that he was in charge of Raw now and what he says, goes and anyone who questions that authority would suffer dire consequences.

This statement heralded the arrival of the champion himself, CM Punk. Upon taking the microphone, Punk suggested that since he was the champion round here, he doesn't have to listen to anyone, he continued that it wasn't only Batista that Kane robbed of glory on Sunday night, as Punk was looking to prove to his doubters that he is worthy of the belt he wears around his waist and it's rich heritage. Punk offered Batista a rematch, tonight, one on one for the World Heavyweight Championship. The Animal seemed impressed by Punks offer and seemed willing to accept before he was cut off by JBL, JBL again reiterated that he was the power round here now, by decree of the WWE chairman himself, Vince McMahon. JBL stated there would be no World Championship match tonight, instead, tonights main event would be a tag team bout, pitting Batista and JBL's recent nemesis John Cena against a team he said was sure to be explosive, CM Punk and the man who may have saved him his title the night before, Kane!

The first match of the night saw two former protege's of the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels face off as Paul London took on Lance Cade. Before the match, Cade took a microphone and goaded Michaels to come out and face him, as he had something to say, something he should have said a long time ago. The match itself was brutal but mercifully short as Cade completely dominated the much smaller London, eventually finishing him off with modified sitout powerbomb.

After nonchantly kicking the prone London out of the ring, Cade then retook the microphone and introduced the man who may very well have ended in career of Shawn Michaels the night before, Chris Jericho. Jericho appeared on stage to a chorus of boos from the crowd, to which Jericho replied that their behaviour demonstrated the point he has been trying to prove for the last few weeks, he finally rids the WWE of the lying, cheating cancer that is Shawn Michaels and you boo him.

He continued that it was their fault, what happened last night, his conscience was clear, they expected, they called for, they HBK take the match and with that, Shawn's blood was on their hands, the end of Shawn's career was their fault, the fact that Shawn may never see properly again was their reward, their reward for pushing an injured man into a match they knew he couldn't win.

Jericho stressed that when he returned to the WWE, it was to save the fans, then he realised, you fans didn't want nor deserved to be saved, so Jericho's goals changed, his goal became to save himself, to save himself from putting the welfare of the fans before his own, to save himself from living to hear the roar of approval from the crowd and to save himself from obsessing about his place in Sports Entertainment history. Jericho continued that his place in history was now secure forever, not only as the first WWE Undisputed Champion in history, not only as a record setting eight time WWE Intercontinental Champion, but also as the man that ended the career of the legendary HBK and that, he said, made him consider himself truly 'saved'.

Our second match of the night featured Beth Phoenix, fresh off of her upset victory over Santino Marella the previous week, facing the ever improving and always popular Kelly Kelly. Unfortunately for Kelly, this match showed that despite her recent improvement, she still has a long way to go before she can compete with the elite of the women's division as Beth made short work of her, finishing her off in double quick time with the Glam Slam.

Next up was a certifiable WWE legend, as 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan made a rare appearence on Raw. Hacksaw asked for a brief minute of the crowds time as he wanted to make a statement, Duggan continued that he had had a hell of a ride with the WWE, but there comes a time when a man has to walk away, to hang up his boots and for him, that time was now. Duggan thanked the fans and said that he was proud of his career and could leave with his head held high.

Evidently two people who disagreed with that statement were the WWE World Tag Team Champions, Ted DiBiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes, making an unsceduled early appearence on Raw ahead of Cody's singles match with Shad of Cryme Tyme later on. DiBiase said he was glad Duggan was calling it a day, as he was an embarassment, an embarassment to the WWE, an embarassment to the sport and an embarassment to himself, to which Duggan just looked forlorn. Rhodes continued his partners verbal assault, telling Duggan to get out of 'his' ring and watch a true legend in the making.

Duggan, seemingly a broken man, left the ring dejectedly with no argument, much to the satisfaction of the two youngsters. Duggan was halfway up the ramp as the music of Cryme Tyme hit, signalling the arrival of Cody's opponent for the next match, Shad and his partner, JTG. The two danced there way down towards Duggan and motioned for him to follow them back down to the ring. Duggan thought about it for a moment, then began to stride back towards ringside, a look of renewed, steely determination on his face.

Despite Cody's promise earlier to show his potential as a future legend, he found it tough going against the much larger and aggressive Shad. The early going was all Shad till DiBiase caught Shad's foot from the outside whilst the ref was distracted by Rhode's complaining about a previous call, this allowed Rhodes to sneak attack Shad from behind and gain the upper hand. This was not to last though as Shad powered through a shoulder block by Cody and regained the advantage. In fact Shad appeared to have Cody beat if it weren't for the interruption from the TitanTron of the new General Manager of Raw, JBL. JBL yelled for the match to be stopped and asked referee John Cone what he thought he was doing, he had missed a blatant closed fist from Shad, he ordered him to award a disqualification victory to Cody. At first Cone argued that he had seen no infringement to which JBL simply stated if he did not make the call, he would be fired on the spot and JBL would find a referee who would make the call. Cone, realising he had little choice in the matter, reluctantly awarded Cody the match, much to the chagrin of Cryme Tyme as they both attacked the celebrating Rhodes and DiBiase, Cryme Tyme doubling up to send DiBiase out the ring with a clothesline and Shad dropping Rhodes with a Samoan Drop. Cryme Tyme then called Duggan into the ring, where as Cryme Tyme held the prone Rhodes up, he delivered the Three Point Stance clothesline to gain a measure of retribution for the Tag Champions earlier comments. Together, Cryme Tyme and Hacksaw celebrated as we went to commercial.

Two recent rivalries came together as WWE Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston and WWE Women's Champion Mickie James teamed together to take on The Burchill siblings in intergender competition. The match was a fast-paced see saw battle as neither team could gain a clear advantage until the action spilled out to the floor, where a mistimed kick from Kofi saw him smash his foot against the steel ring post, this allowed Paul Burchill to capitalise, roll the injured Jamaican superstar back into the ring and hit a jumping neckbreaker for the victory whilst the two Divas battled on outside the ring, eventually been separated by a host of referees.

The camera cut to backstage where we found 'The Animal' Dave Batista stalking the corridoors, obviously on the look out for Kane and possibly not wanting to wait until the main event of the evening for retribution. It wasn't Kane that Batista found though as he run into Jamie Noble, who was once again conversing with Layla. Noble yelled out to garner Batista's attention as we walked past, to which Big Dave turned round and glared at Noble. Noble, keeping a safe distance from the obviously disgruntled Animal, pointed out that Batista was one of Raw's 'Big Dogs' and he wanted to know that Noble was putting them all on notice, that they were all targets for him. Batista smirking at Noble's statement, responded that if Noble wanted to prove something, how about he do it in the ring, next week, one on one. Noble asked 'Why wait till next week?' to which Batista simply laughed and continued on his way, leaving Noble to glare a hole through him as Layla looked on with bemusement.

We then cut to Todd Grisham, who was joined by the World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk. Grisham asked why had Punk offered to defend his title again tonight against Batista. Punk replied that he feels he needs to prove himself worthy of the title, and so far, between the actions of Kane and JBL, he has been unable to fulfil those aspirations. Speaking of JBL, he once again interjected himself into proceedings, pushing Todd out of the way and going nose to nose with Punk, JBL calmly told him that he would not be defending that title against anyone but JBL and also, that he would be seeing him at SummerSlam, where he would once again become a World Champion, where he would consign Punk to being a footnote in history, which was exactly where he belonged. Punk said that SummerSlam was fine by him. Punk finished by asking rhetorically who his first successful title defence had been against, the night he won the belt?

Operatic strains filled the arena as Santino Marella made his entrance next, Santino took the microphone and reissued his open challenge from last week, but with a stipulation this time, his opponent must be a man, as he doesn't fight women...

He was cut off by some music that had not been heard in a long time, as former Euro-Continental Champion, D'Lo Brown made his return to the WWE after a five year absence! D'Lo wasted little time in his return though and went straight on the attack as the opening bell rung, the prolonged absence obviously hadn't affected D'Lo's in ring skills however as he completely dominated Santino, putting him away with a Frogsplash in less than five minutes. This was not before Santino's victor last week, Beth Phoenix made her way down to ringside to watch the albeit brief action.

As Santino began to stir from the daze brought about by D'Lo's Frogsplash, Beth entered the ring. Santino, noticing he was not alone, quickly pulled himself up using the ropes, not taking his eyes off of Beth. Beth tried to goad Santino into fighting her again, but Santino was unwilling to say the least and turned his back and began to leave the ring, or at least he would have had Beth not grabbed him in a waistlock and dragged him back into the centre of the ring. Santino was able to reverse this and again tried to bail out the ring, but Beth had his arms gripped tightly and she was able to reverse the waistlock. Another reversal saw Santino get away but he was held fast, Beth than span around to face Santino, his arms still around her waist. They paused for a moment, a moment that could only be described as sexual tension (?) before Santino planted a passionate kiss on Beth's lips, one that she seemed to recipricate for a few seconds, caught in the moment before both came back to reality and pulled away from each, Santino looking quite confused and Beth even moreso as we faded to the commercials.

Main event - JBL int Cena accidentally hits Batista - brawl - jbl and punk brawl - kane lays out everyone with chairs - pyro - goodnight

Quick Results

Lance Cade pinned Paul London.

Beth Phoenix pinned Kelly Kelly.

Cody Rhodes beat Shad by DQ.

Paul and Katie Lea Burchill beat Kofi Kingston and Mickie James when Paul pinned Kofi.

D'Lo Brown pinned Santino Marella.

CM Punk and Kane versus Batista and John Cena was declared a no contest when JBL interfered.

ECW

Colin Delaney pinned Hornswoggle after a World's Strongest Slam by Mark Henry.

Evan Bourne pinned James Curtis.

Finlay won a Fatal Fourway Match when he pinned The Miz. Also involved were Matt Hardy and John Morrison.

Smackdown!

VIP lounge with Hardy - altercation - leads to tag match

Edge - sex tape to get SS rematch

WWE United States Champion Shelton Benjamin pinned Jimmy Wang Yang.

Festus pinned WWE Tag Team Champion Curt Hawkins.

Vladimir Kozlov pinned Stevie Richards.

WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool defeated Maryse by submission.

Brian Kendrick pinned Shannon Moore.

Jeff Hardy and Mr. Kennedy defeated MVP and Umaga when Jeff pinned MVP.

Edited July 30, 2008 by {Gazz}

[Nerf]

EvilChaseK seemed to enjoy it.

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

Silly little girl wants to play with beats and lyrics.

[GA!]

Can someone please stick a cock in her mouth so she'll shut the fuck up?!?!

[ClaRK! Kent]

Dibs.

[ROC]

...and she's working with Avril Lavigne, ladies and gents.

Avril Lavigne & Lil' Mama - Girlfriend (Remix) -- aka "When Avril went from slightly on my radar to the point where I'm like all 'Avril-wha?'

[Benji]

Does anyone remember when urban music was occasionally about something other than materialism and self-image?

[YI]

Be fair. It's still occasionally about crime as well.

[fineintent]

Does anyone remember when urban music was occasionally about something other than materialism and self-image?

[Benji]

Does anyone remember when urban music was occasionally about something other than materialism and self-image?

Mainstream R&B and Hip-Hop are pretty dire, but it's no different to every single Radio One friendly pop-indie tune being about a girl or a relationship. Or even better an indie girl.

Urban? Does not compute.

Don't get me wrong, indie music at the moment is piss poor too, but at least the lyrical content isn't worryingly shallow in almost every song. What do you mean 'does not compute', it's a common phrase >_>

[fineintent]

Does anyone remember when urban music was occasionally about something other than materialism and self-image?

Mainstream R&B and Hip-Hop are pretty dire, but it's no different to every single Radio One friendly pop-indie tune being about a girl or a relationship. Or even better an indie girl.

Urban? Does not compute.

[Draevyn]

The style seems so much like The Milkshake Song....this is horrible.