Lyricists...gather round

[Dingle]

You care far too much with rhyme. And and depressive imagery >_>. Drowning farrr too much.

[YI]

You can sniff the sweaty side of my scrotum, while tounging the winnits from my bumhole, Jouzy.

[Dingle]

I would, but thats where you keep your store of lyrics, right?

[YI]

I would, but thats where you keep your store of lyrics, right?

Nah, I store them under your back lump, Spina Bifida Boy.

[Dingle]

It's not my fault that Beth is a fucking go-er!

[fourstarfizzle]

Our first EP, is mainly about the town we live in, it's a run down 'over-spill' town from Liverpool, built in the 60's and was one of the UK's first 'new towns'. It's now run down with no entertainment services, and theres so many people who get sucked into the town and never leave. And lyrically it's mainly about us trying make something of it and get out of the town and live a bit.

Our new stuff is moving onto other areas now, I'm really into story telling a bit more now. We've got a new track called 'Methuselah', which for anyone doesn't know, is apparantly the oldest living person in recorded history (the Hebrew Bible). So I decided to write this song about a person who couldn't die, even though he tried, and eventually his family and friends die and he goes on, soon losing his mind and believing he's a god on earth. And at the end of the song, he finally dies, and death reveals himself to tell the man it was merely a game he was playing to see how man would react to immortality.

Anyways, lyrics are below..

Come lend your ear

For what I tell you

Is no mere tale

A man who saw empires

Rise from ash

Crumble like stone

A man who saw kings

Emperors, queens and tsars

Outlived them all

Saw a thousand deaths

A thousand births

And still lived on

Finding my way through this path of eternity

Searching for solace and losing everyone

When they all die, it's just the reaper and I

I'm one of the horsemen without a purpose

Is this a blessing? Or is it a curse?

A lack of mortality is a powerful thing

Finding my way through this life of eternity

No one's stopping me, I'm a living god

I am your god

Excluded from death

Five hundred years I've been here

And I'll live forever

Bow before me

Worship at my feet

I'll show you the meaning

Of gods true mercy

The people they rise in a foolish scheme

No incompetance, cull them all

Show them their god will not be angered

Prove to them that you are indestructable

And so, he died

Death appeared before him

Ice cold eyes, lifeless smile

Staring into his soul

Why did you leave me?

For so long?

What did I do for this curse?

Death pointed towards my heart

And clenched his fist

I'm the emperor

Of life's maelstrom

I wished to see

The extremes of man's world

Death smiled

Life goes on

Edited September 14, 2008 by fourstarfizzle

[Tarheels.]

Seeing this again reminded me of a song I wrote a couple of weeks ago. You guys should help critique it, even though its only lyrics at this point, no music yet.

Hard To Tell

I could see in your eyes it was over,

The way the tears curved down from your cheeks.

The way you prayed to your god that it all would be fine

How you apologized for being so weak.

I could tell that your love was a lie

How it was said so matter of factly

It reminded me of better days when I was young

And my heart was still in tact

It’s not hard to tell that I’m afraid

You can see it clear as day

Just tell me that it’s all okay

I need a lie to heal the pain

And you can tell that I’m in pieces

I was broken years ago

By a man in black with a Gatsby cap

He told me son, it’s time to leave

You should see that I’m to blame,

For all this mess that we have made

I’m like the story book on that train you took,

On the day you went away

You can read it all you want but babe,

Someday you’ll have to turn the page

It’s not hard to tell that I am still a mess

Can’t seem to stop myself from cryin’

So I’ll wipe my eyes and let out a sigh

Cause you’re not coming back tonight

You’re not coming back tonight

[Tarheels.]

Didn't intend on the double post, but how do you guys get out of a writers block? It seems like everything I write lately is just something that I can't enjoy enough to put out there and nowhere near the level of the songs I've written before. So how would you recommend to get out of a writers block?

[Turbo Yannis]

What bugs me when I write is I feel like I think of a few good lines but I get so desperate to get them in, the rest of the lyrics is pretty sub standard.

[Gabriel]

The End of You and Me (Ballad of Frankenstein)

Made for each other

From grand design

Don't know where I'm going

But I know that I'm not fine.

You were made for me

And I was made for you

They took you away so soon

You're gone too soon

I will always love you

Though I didn't say goodbye

They took you away so soon

Now all I do is cry

We're

Creatures made from death

but made to love.

Made for each other

From grand design

Don't know where I'm going

But I know that I'm not fine.

(break)

Made for each other

From grand design

Don't know why I am dying

But I know that I'm now fine

I will always love you

Though I didn't say goodbye

They took you away so soon

Now it's my turn to die...

Posted the song on the MySpace page (myspace.com/jackandther1pp3rs)... Ekin sent me the music, and I wrote the lyrics in about 10 minutes. It took me 20 days to figure out how I wanted to sing it, and I'll still probably go back and change things up, but we like the low for the verses, high for the chorus deal I've got going on.

It's important to note though, if you listen to it... I'm a songwriter... I'm not a vocalist. Or, I am a vocalist now... but a shitty one. The lyrics are much more important to me.

[Dingle]

If they are, I'm kinda (N) on them big time. Like, the cheesiness of "But I know that I'm not fine.", especially since it doesn't REALLY fit with the first verse. That and as far as the song progresses, I have no conept of why the narrator is suddenly fine...

Unless your gonna argue that it's self-deprecating and thats why, but even so, it just doesn't really fit together in my opinion.

Edited September 23, 2008 by Devil In Jouzy City

[Gabriel]

If they are, I'm kinda (N) on them big time. Like, the cheesiness of "But I know that I'm not fine.", especially since it doesn't REALLY fit with the first verse. That and as far as the song progresses, I have no conept of why the narrator is suddenly fine...

Unless your gonna argue that it's self-deprecating and thats why, but even so, it just doesn't really fit together in my opinion.

Frankenstein's Monster just wanted to be left alone... then he wanted a companion... and when she was taken from him, all he wanted to do was die.

The idea of being fine with death is because it's a release from the pain of life, love, loss and other such things.

Like I said, 10 minutes it took me. It's not a masterpiece... it's just a song.

[Dingle]

True, but my songs only take me ten minutes, so I can sorta relate. It just doesn't fit well with me, and maybe it's just my interpretation of it (easily interpretated the wrong way) but it seems a bit cheesy and the flow seems, well, rather poor.

[Gabriel]

True, but my songs only take me ten minutes, so I can sorta relate. It just doesn't fit well with me, and maybe it's just my interpretation of it (easily interpretated the wrong way) but it seems a bit cheesy and the flow seems, well, rather poor.

It's supposed to be cheesey, so I'm not worried about that. Horror-related music that's taken seriously usually ends up being unintentionally cheesey, which is so much worse than just coming out and saying "Yeah, cheese factor... totally."

There's a place for serious stuff, but I don't think I could ever actually write something 100% serious.

The flow not working comes down to one thing really... inexperience. This is the first song I've ever written. I mean, I've written poetry before and called them songs, but unless there's music to go along with it, I pretty much grew out of that and have accepted that its' poetry. I'm hoping to get better at making things flow and being a better songwriter, and that will come with time and helpful advice and criticisms, which I do very much appreciate.

[Dingle]

To tr and get this going again, wht stuff do you chaps use for inspiration and suchlike?

[METALMAN]

In the past I have used these as influences:

A girl. (several times)

Overwork.

Being bored (several times)

Emo culture

Advent calendar

A friend of mine with funny hair

Biology class

Exams

A tree

Old magazines

Neds

Computer virus

Lies

The Merchant of Venice

[Dingle]

I can never use things as a base, shit just pops up randomly and it's annoying because I kinda have to wait for a spur of lyrical genius (oh yes) to be able to write summin.

[METALMAN]

Strictly speaking it's the same for me I suppose. I wasn't influenced by all those things in the list as such. I just wrote lyrics about them quite a lot of the time.

[Tarheels.]

Listening to music I usually wouldn't listen to inspires me sometimes. Also listening to new music does the same.

[9 to 5]

Smoking weed with mates used to get me writing stuff, but it's been ages since I have even thought about writing lyrics. Usually don't end up with full songs, just short verses and such.