The Apprentice Series 5

[Jimmy]

I would've fired Debra on the for the way she treated Nick, who is arguably, one of the best things about the show. Also, I can't be the only one getting really turned of the board room arguments and the team arguments. They're just noise and it's fucking annoying.

[Katsuya]

Margaret's horrified faces <333.

[Farmer Reil]

Yeah, Lorraine is a bit of an enigma. On the one hand, she's probably one of the better candidates in terms of actual ability, but on the other hand she's so fucking soul-destroying to look at and listen to. I have to say though, EVERY week she disagrees with something (rightly usually, often wrongly though) and Philip is always "oh yeah, you say that NOW...", and basically listens to nobody.

Philip is losing loads of credibility with me.

Quote of the week, though. Noorul: "Is it written in foreign?".

Edited April 29, 2009 by Farmer Reil

[DFF]

I've got to say that this series has some of the least likeable candidates yet. Though, they still make for an entertaining bunch.

I don't seem to hate Ben and Lorraine as much as you guys. I find Ben to be a bit cocky and arrogant, but at the same time entertaining and no where near as annoying as Philip can be, and as much as Debra is. Seriously, Debra pisses me right off.

Mona has to be the single best named person ever. And she's a bit crap too. Howard is Mr. Bland.

Philip I used to like, but he's proven to be a giant cock over the last few weeks and has blatantly lied throughout (example: Claiming Lorraine said virtually nothing about the rug this week).

Yasmina

James

Kate

Ben

Lorraine

:/

Howard

Mona

Philip

Debra

[METALMAN]

Mine:

Yasmina

Kate

James

:/

Ben

Mona

Philip

Lorraine

Debra

WHO THE FUCK IS HOWARD?

Howard

[Farmer Reil]

James

Kate

Ben

Yasmina

Howard

Lorraine

Phillip

Debra

Mona

Lorraine's moved above Philip in the 'meh' division, while Debra is relegated to the "get the fuck off my TV" conference for daring to backchat God Himself Nick Hewer. Ben also loses ground in the Premiership for being useless in the task, but avoids relegation due to still being quite awesome outside it. James goes top because I felt sorry for him due to the 'village idiot' quip.

[METALMAN]

The village idiot quip was awesome though.

[Turbo Yannis]

Debra is relegated to the "get the fuck off my TV" conference for daring to backchat God Himself Nick Hewer.

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?

Thank fuck Naroul went, totally useless.

[AJ]

I feel dirty for actually getting interested in this whole Apprentice lark despite thinking they were all complete morons from the start. I mean, is this the best the country has to offer? Sheesh.

It's a shame Phil's team won because had they lost I'm sure he'd have had his marching orders. I was supporting him at the start being a North East lad but he's become increasingly douche-like the last couple of weeks and that pants-man idea and jingle was shit. Oh and supposedly putting his differences with Lorraine behind him and then completely ignoring her throughout the task :\ But he did redeem himself a little with the genius idea of "fuck it, let's just take it into the pub and see who we can flog it to." I do find it quite funny when Sugar or the guys on You're Fired go on about not being able to understand him as well. Not a problem for me in the slightest as I deal with people with far stronger accents than his every day.

I did start to sympathise with old melty face (as Hamstah would call her) when no-one would listen to her. I guess I'm in the minority when I say I quite like Debra as well, but that's mainly because at least she's entertaining to watch. She has that whole bitch thing going on and she reminds me of Gretchen from Prison Break except more mouth and less action.

Captain Sandhurst to go next, surely. He's survived too long.

[METALMAN]

hahaha. Melty face. My mum said that Lorraine has a face like a melted welly. >_>

[Timmoru Suzuki]

Just watched this weeks on iplayer. Nurel was useless and has been each week, so him going is no surpirse. Ben is a giant faggot, and Debra is one annoying bitch.

Margaret's faces stole the week, her and Nick are ALWAYS good for a laugh with a facial expression or a quick quip.

James is great. Howard doesn't actually do anything so I can't tell if he's good or bad. Philip isn't bad but doesn't help himself by never listening to anyone.

[Farmer Reil]

To be fair, Howard does easily more actual work that 90% of the other candidates. That's the reason you don't see him doing anything: He's not kicking off or making a fuss, so it doesn't make good TV. James, and Kate to a slightly lesser extent, have the same 'issue'.

If they were actually not doing anything, the editors would make a point of it like they did with Noorul. They DO do stuff, just not stuff that would make good TV. Which is understandable, I'm not criticising the editors/producers... it just sometimes makes the better workers look bad. It's very cleverly edited. The stuff you see in the show is the stuff relevant to the boardroom discussions and the 'fighty' drama stuff. Howard has never (IIRC) been in the boardroom, so you never need to see what he's doing.

Edit: Also, James and Margaret should have a facial-expression-off. It'd be awesome.

Edited April 30, 2009 by Farmer Reil

[Jimmy]

'WHAT!?' ... 'Sorry'. That was magnificant.

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

Noorul has just been useless throughout and he just wouldn't shut up today in the boardroom. Still, it would have been funny for him to remain to the final 4 so that he actually started BELIEVING that he had a chance and then have Sir Alan fire him and just tell him he's rubbish and only been there for entertainment.

Debra's just nasty nasty. Ugh. Nick and Margaret were their best ever this episode I think. I'm surprised Debra didn't get fired on the spot for mouthing off a guy with a lifetime of experience who was speaking the truth - just shows total lack of respect.

I'm just as bored of Ben as ever.

James, when Ben nominated him, was utterly fantastic. "WHA?" *hand to mouth realising his honest surprised outburst* "Sorry". I like it that Sir Alan will question choices and has overruled a nomination in the past I believe.

My two faces did good jobs this week so I continue to be happy. Philip was a moron and Melty face has to go up half a notch in my ratings cos she's actually RIGHT a lot of the time (albeit whingy) and Margaret seems to be a big fan - she was really warm towards her in the boardroom.

Yasmina

Kate

James

Howard

Mona

Lorraine

Ben

Debra

Philip

It's still a bit bottom heavy.

I think Kate's got it sewn up though even though I prefer Yasmina.

Edited May 1, 2009 by ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster

[Pesci]

James

Yasmina

Kate

Mona

Howard

Philip

Ben

Lorraine

Debra

I actually like most of them this year. I even liked Noorul. Philip and Ben were good at the start but they're both annoying now. Lorraine and Debra are both horrible to look at - maybe that has something to do with me hating them so much.

[METALMAN]

I watched this again on iplayer because when it was on TV I couldn't hear a thing because my flatmate kept going on about how Debra wears too much makeup and Lorraine has greasy hair.

Noorul was such a clipe in the boardroom going on about Ben talking about magazine deals. What a bitch.

Yasmina was really good in the boardroom when she argued with Debra, making her seem a bit of a fool. And she has nice legs. >_>

Edit: at the pub tonight I heard someone say they were "gooing out for a smook" and it reminded me of Ben.

Edited May 2, 2009 by metalman

[Turbo Yannis]

Ben's accent is glorious.

[y2gudge08]

James

Ben

Yasmina

Kate

Philip

Howard

Lorraine

Mona

Debra

Thought I'd throw my twopence in the ring when it comes to the standings...

[METALMAN]

Meltyface reached new levels of annoyance this week with her "I've got business instinct" rubbish. She's clearly as thick as mince and I'm upset she didn't go. Especially as I started to like Philip a bit more over the last week or two. Mainly because he's funny. Not because he's any good.

[Timmoru Suzuki]

Philip was a complete helmet this week to the extent that I was pleased he went. Still, Lorraine, as always was annoying, and this was the first week in which Ben wasn't a dick.