see if you are trying to find a way to describe a girl without being disrespectful

[METALMAN]

surely you would be able to think of something better than comparing (even if favourably) to a whore. Or talking about her "booty moving". Or getting your pal from France to call her a sexy bitch inbetween your outbursts. Or being Akon.

Or maybe that is respectful to kids nowadays. Times have changed.

[TEOL]

what's the point of being respectful? They don't appreciate it anyway. Fuck them.

[Rich]

How about:

There she is. Oh sweet lady. With your face like a cream oval. Your nose. Like a delicious slope of cream. Your ears like, cream flaps. Your teeth. Like hard, shiny pegs of cream.

[Dynamite]

Being called a 'sexy bitch' isn't too bad considering Akon's usual alternative would be to dryhump her on the dancefloor. In fact, I'd say this one got off quite lightly.

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them. Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.

King Solomon was the king of smooth.

[Skummy]

Her hair's like a flock of goats? Her temples are like pomegranates? Teeth like sheep? The daft old sod.

Edited December 13, 2009 by Skummy

[Gazz]

Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them. Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.

King Solomon was the king of smooth.

Did he use Autotune though?

[hackerjack]

The worst I've heard in person: "you're almost as pretty as your mam you know, and your not married, so it all evens out, do you want to dance?"

Thankfully it wasn't me saying this one.