NHL 2010/2011

[Toe]

This was written by Corey Krakower at prosportsblogging.com and I thought it was effing hilarious.

Anaheim Ducks: In cost cutting measures, rather than have the coaches drawing up set plays on tablet computers (like the Leafs), they are expected to use Ryan Getzlaf’s head.

Atlanta Thrashers: Jeremy Roenick criticized Dustin Byfuglien as a defenseman, saying he could skate circles around him. Byfuglien took offense to that, and made Roenick cry by sending him a picture of his Stanley Cup ring.

Boston Bruins: Boston has hired a full time masseuse in anticipation of expected neck problems incurred by their scouting staff having to look far down the standings to see how the Toronto Maple Leafs are doing.

Buffalo Sabres: Management had a mix-up with their calendars and are probably unaware that the season is even starting. In fact, Darcy Regier is still waiting for July 1/free agency to start.

Calgary Flames: It’s not clear how the Flames will do this year, mainly because Darryl Sutter is waiting to hear back on various trade proposals offered around the league, including Robyn Regehr and Miikka Kirpussof for Sheldon Souray and Nikolai Khabibulin; Jarome Iginla for Brian Rolston and Bryce Salvador; and Jay Bouwmeester and Mikael Backlund for Michal Roszival and Todd White.

Carolina Hurricanes: Canes fans can expect to generate a lot more offense due to the expected emergence of some good young players, and Rod Brind’Amour retiring will result in fewer scoring chances being called offside due to his nose being over the blue line.

Chicago Blackhawks: Patrick Kane was asked for his opinion on the upcoming season; he didn’t answer other than angrily saying “I’m not giving you my 2 cents”.

Colorado Avalanche: The Avalanche have vowed to be better defensively which will hopefully reduce Craig Anderson’s workload to a more respectable average of 45 shots against per game.

Columbus Blue Jackets: The excitement is back in Columbus as prized young goaltender Steve Mason should be well rested after taking last year off.

Dallas Stars: There was an awkward moment between GM Joe Nieuwendyk and owner Tom Hicks which almost resulted in Nieuwendyk getting fired. Hicks thought he was being mocked when Nieuwendyk told him “we are going to make the playoffs Tom, you can take that to the bank.”

Detroit Red Wings: Fan support and attendance is supposed to be much better in Detroit this year due to the majority of their players buying tickets regularly for their wives, children and grand children.

Edmonton Oilers: Sheldon Souray is the consensus public enemy number one among the people of Edmonton. It could be worse for Souray; he could still be expected to play in Edmonton.

Florida Panthers: Win or lose, the Panthers will be loved in Miami by their loyal fan base, or as they’re more commonly known, “people who couldn’t get Miami Heat tickets”.

Los Angeles Kings: Dean Lombardi is lucky that no one in LA cares about hockey, otherwise some fans may notice that the guy with the #17 Kovalchuk jersey shoots left and looks strangely like Alexei Ponikarovsky.

Minnesota Wild: What’s the difference between Pat Burns and Minnesota’s playoff hopes? One was pronounced dead prematurely even though it is inevitable; the other was an NHL coach.

Montreal Canadiens: Apparently, the real reason Halak was traded is because the Habs wanted to increase scoring this year, and what better way to do that than to have the players shooting against Carey Price in practice.

Nashville Predators: Lots of optimism in Nashville. In 2007, they weren’t even close to getting out of the first round. In 2008 and 2010, they were kind of close to getting out of the first round. This year, the Preds are expected to take that next leap forward by pushing a first round series to a full 7 games before they lose.

New Jersey Devils: GM Lou Lamoriello always appears serious but he does have a sense of humor. This year, instead of the PA announcer announcing that fans should remove their hats for the national anthems, he will now say “please circumvent your caps”.

New York Islanders: Expectations are through the roof for this elite team, as Garth Snow enters year 5 of his 5-year rebuilding plan for the Islanders.

New York Rangers: A new NHL rule stating that goaltenders are not allowed to shoot in shootouts assures fans that at the very least Marian Gaborik will be shooting ahead of Henrik Lundqvist.

Ottawa Senators: In honor of the Save Spezza Rally over the summer, Jason Spezza will contemplate changing his number to 8, in order to commemorate the number of fans that showed up.

Philadelphia Flyers: I had a good joke, but Chris Pronger stole it.

Phoenix Coyotes: The bad news: Kyle Wellwood was released, depriving bloggers of jokes this year. The good news: by releasing him, the Coyotes will be able to sell tickets at a higher price and not have to discount seats in the lower bowl for having an obstructed view.

Pittsburgh Penguins: The Penguins were relieved when the NHL and the Officials came to terms on a 4-year agreement. Just imagine how confused everyone in Pittsburgh would have been if unbiased replacement officials came in and started calling penalties on Sidney Crosby.

San Jose Sharks: On a team full of passengers, it was encouraging to see guys like Thornton, Marleau and Pavelski step up in the playoffs and drive the bus for San Jose. Fortunately, Dany Heatley was not the one doing any of this so called driving.

St. Louis Blues: The Blues are still laughing at the fact that Pierre Gauthier doesn’t understand the acronym LOL; for example – “Hey Pierre, I’ll trade you Eller and Schultz for Jaroslav Halak, LOL.”

Tampa Bay Lightning: In an effort to build community relations, some teams send their players to deliver tickets to fans. The Lightning players don’t do that with the exception of Dan Ellis, who is a courier by day to earn extra cash.

Toronto Maple Leafs: Looking to raise the bar for the players; Brian Burke has established a team goal for the season – the number of Leafs wins in 2010-11 should be greater than or equal to the number of assistant general managers.

Vancouver Canucks: The Canucks expected big things from themselves, figuring they would win their division and be a Stanley Cup favorite this season. They immediately started to question that when Eklund projected the same thing.

Washington Capitals: Washington has proposed a rule change that would see a playoff series being decided by the first team to win 3 games, not 4.

Down Goes Brown did it better. Also, I do not think the 93 Leafs would have won, simply because Patrick Roy was just amazing and if you could stop Gretzky, you could probably stop Dougie.

Today I saw what could be the first ever POSITIVE article about the Maple Leafs in the Toronto Sun.

[Plubby]

HOLY. FREAKING. SHIT.

Can'twaitCan'twaitCan'twaitCan'twait!

[The Sultan of Swank]

The Toronto Sun is an awful paper as far as I'm concerned.

So I think Toronto will take home a big win tonight. Montreal is missing 2 of their top D men, one of whom is amongst the best in the East. Their star sniper and their goalie has the flu. If Toronto can't win this game, I'd say pack it in for another year.

[Guest Mr. Potato Head]

If Toronto can't win this game, radio call-in lines will be jammed with people demanding a Kadri recall.

Wait, that's every game.

[The Sultan of Swank]

Man Leafs Nation is going to be calling for a cup this year after tonight if they pull off the expected and win against a very very depleted Habs roster...

First period thoughts... Toronto scored both goals off taking advantage of the opportunities they got. Both were a lazy play from a defender and it resulted in 2 goals, if Toronto is going to have any success this year they're going to need to be that good at turning a turnover into a goal. Phaneuf has been a pylon.... Toronto hasn't been able to effectively handle the Montreal forecheck and it could lead to problems for the Leafs in the second... Montreal hasn't been able to connect on their passes. If they can play tighter they'll score some goals, because Toronto can't really handle the speed. Montreal's D needs to play a lot better, I understand that they're missing Markov and Hamrlik, but they're on the hook for sporting Toronto a 2-0 lead. Pretty good first overall, I was surprised that Montreal was doing the load of the hitting... Price has been good not great, Giguere hasn't had to face any shots because Montreal's forwards keep shanking their passes by a foot or two... Intrigued to see what happens in the second, it'll be a very important period for both teams.

Second period thoughts... Montreal forechecked Toronto into the ice. Toronto to their credit blocked a huge amount of shots. A couple posts for the Habs, but all that means if the shooter needed to be more accurate. Toronto two of their penalties because they couldn't skate with the Habs forwards on that particular play. PK Subban seems nervous in his game, it isn't helping our depleted D. I called a Leafs win before the game, and I feel like Toronto will come out harder in the third and put in the back breaker in the first 5 minutes of the period. It never ceases to amaze me how empty the ACC is in the first few min of a period and how quiet it is throughout the game. I know it's all corporate in the lower bowl, but I'm sure teams like Montreal or Calgary have just as much corporate support and they're two of the best places to see a game... The ACC seems like it's marginally better than Atlanta...

WOW! Giguere made the absolute difference in that game. Especially with the flurry at the end of the game, that was insane the saves he made on Gionta. I expected Montreal to lose a lot worse than this. Considering they largely outplayed Toronto for long stretches of the game. I'll accept it... I guess... Saturday night hopefully Hamrlik is back and Cammy is done his suspension.

Edited October 8, 2010 by The Sultan of Swank

[Toe]

Kessel scored a sweet goal and Giggy stood on his head in the final flurry. Basha, your forgetting that every game between Toronto and Montreal is competitive, no matter who is on the ice.

Our penalty kill was better then last year. It wasn't great, but it was improved. Montreal simply outworked our powerplay, and it needs a lot of work. Clarke MacArthur and Nik Kulemin seemed to play well tonight. I like our second line right now.

For Montreal, Brian Gionta may not have scored but he was very active. Last year, I thought he was the best and most consistent Canadien. Now that he is wearing the C, I expect that to continue.

[Guest A Math Torpedo]

The Edmonton crowd did just boo a 10-year-old kid because they thought he was the Calgary Flames, right? I'm not imagining that?

[Toe]

The Edmonton crowd did just boo a 10-year-old kid because they thought he was the Calgary Flames, right? I'm not imagining that?

The kid is also a convicted drug dealer...

[Plubby]

Bobrovsky! Giggy! Andy! Lolgary! Pretty much an optimal opening night, really.

[Gabriel]

Oilers look good this year, but shouldn't be TOO optimistic. They are still a very young team. Taylor who? Eberle and Paajarvi are the guys to watch on this team.

That being said, I love how a third period with good momentum made everyone forget that the Flames decimated the Oilers in the second, and that had it not been for the Bulin Wall, it would have been three or four to nothing for us heading into the third. The score of the game makes it look far better on their side, and far worse on ours, than it actually was.

Everything looked good for the Flames except the blowup in period three, and Jay Bouwmeester. Seriously... it's like we traded for a guy that we had in our system all along. TJ Brodie is doing everything and more that JayBo was supposed to.

Sutter has some pieces to play with, and I expect Regehr, Bouwmeester and Staios to be shopped around as he tries to send a message that losses like tonight won't be tolerated, not even early in the season.

[TGWL]

JayBo has so much potential, what the hell happened to him?

[Plubby]

That being said, I love how a third period with good momentum made everyone forget that the Flames decimated the Oilers in the second, and that had it not been for the Bulin Wall, it would have been three or four to nothing for us heading into the third.

I'll take your word for it that the Flames were good in the second, but will you at least grant me that there is no way in hell that Calgary played well enough to mean that removing Khabibulin would erase the Oilers' first period tally in order to make it a 4-0 Flames lead after two?

[TGWL]

Kevin Weekes tweeted:

Oilers,were dominant tonight ! Flames had big 2nd period,but looked flat-footed the majority of the game.Hoping Ivanans is okay.

[Gabriel]

JayBo has so much potential, what the hell happened to him?

He doesn't fit into the Western Conference style of game. He's a big guy, but he won't use his body... and his speed is off-set by the fact that he seems to get easily frustrated and would rather grab onto a guy than try to match his foot-speed. He's soft on the pass in his own zone, which creates a lot of turnovers. In front of a goalie who isn't the level of a Kiprusoff or Vokoun, it would be much more apparent.

He has a lot to offer, but we signed him with expectations... which he hasn't met... which are being filled by a 20 year-old rookie. This makes him expendable to me. Much moreso than Robyn Regehr, whose leadership and abilities as a shut-down guy would be missed greatly if he were to be moved.

That being said, I imagine a more likely scenario being Adam Pardy going out, as his contract is far more cap-friendly than anyone else's. I really would rather Bouwmeester or Staios be moved though, because what we lose when they leave is already being provided by other guys on the blueline.

EDIT: My bad Plubby. You're right. They were up 1-0. I forgot that because I didn't see the goal. Missed the first period because of work.

Edited October 8, 2010 by Gabriel

[TGWL]

We'll send you Todd white, and Michael Rozsival for Jaybo.

[Gabriel]

We'll send you Todd white, and Michael Rozsival for Jaybo.

We don't need defensemen. We are carrying eight on the team right now as it is.

Any trades Sutter makes in the coming weeks will be done to add some offensive flare or prospects/draft picks. We need to make room for Adam Pardy and TJ Brodie to be full time roster players. Especially with five guys on the IR right now. When they come back, we'll need to make room for them under the cap anyways, which is another reason why I figure Bouwmeester should be shopped.

[Plubby]

We'll take him. You can have offensive wunderkid Ryan Stoa and we can probably spare a Cameron Gaunce type. Maybe even Kyle Cumiskey, the defender who skates like a forward.

[The Sultan of Swank]

Poor Souray. He gets loaned out to Hershey, not even the farm team the Oil Kings want him...

[Gabriel]

Poor Souray. He gets loaned out to Hershey, not even the farm team the Oil Kings want him...

It sort of makes sense though. Souray doesn't want to be in Edmonton. The Oilers don't want him. It's counter-productive to the development of their younger players in Oklahoma City to be playing with a guy who doesn't even want to be there.

[Cactus Drags]

We'll take him. You can have offensive wunderkid Ryan Stoa and we can probably spare a Cameron Gaunce type. Maybe even Kyle Cumiskey, the defender who skates like a forward.

Fuck off, Road Runner's going nowhere.