Euro 2004

[TMM]

I was just on the BBC website and came across this. I burst into laughter at number 3!

Source

Ten things to do before England-France

It's the biggest England game since the World Cup quarter-final against Brazil.

With kick-off fast approaching, your head is threatening to explode with excitement.

Relax. Just follow our simple 10-step countdown, and all will be fine....

10. NAIL DOWN THE VENUE

First things first. Get it clear in your own mind exactly where you want to be as the whistle goes.

Do you like being surrounded by sweaty drunken strangers who may spontaneously bear-hug you in the event of a goal, and accidentally brand you with a lit cigarette if nudged mid-match?

Then the boozer is the place for you, my friend. Should a glacial silence and easy access to the bathroom be more important, then stay home.

Fail to make up your mind, and you'll find yourself paying £10 to get into a shocking Antipodean theme bar where the screens are all showing old Aussie Rules games and the commentary is drowned out by endless Powderfinger tunes blaring out of the PA.

9. PERFECT THE PREPARATIONS

In the words of the great Sally Gunnell, "Fail to prepare, and prepare to fail."

If you're hosting at your gaff, get creative.

Don't just buy a load of ordinary beers - get a mini England v France battle going by purchasing one case of old-school bitter and one of fancy-dan Continental lager.

At the end of the day, tot up the empties and hey presto! you've got the scoreline that really tells us which country is best.

8. BONE UP ON BONAPARTE

Historical context is all. This fixture is just the latest in a series of Anglo-French dust-ups stretching back through the mists of time.

While your pals will try to impress with some chat on the merits of Patrick Vieira, blow them out of the water by reeling off the career stats of the original French midfield general, Napoleon Bonaparte.

Did they know, for example, that the real name of the stroppy general's mistress was not Josephine but Marie-Rose de Tascher de la Pagerie?

Or that, far from being the stumpy dwarf of legend, he was actually 5ft 5ins tall - slightly above average height for a Frenchman in 1800?

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Lynam.

7. POLISH THE ARGUMENTS

Choose one of the following pub clichés and learn it off by heart:

A. "Forget this diamond business - you've got to pick the best four midfielders in the country, ain'tcha."

B. "Yeah, so Henry has the speed of a puma and can score from anywhere - but can he head the ball? Eh? Eh?"

C. "He's a liability, that Rooney - he'll be sent off in the first 10 minutes, just you watch."

D. "Them Italians - say what you like about the hair, but their shirts are the business."

6. ESTABLISH THE GROUND RULES

• Who is in charge of the remote control?
  
  
• Whose round is it next?
  
  
• Do you lose your seat if you go to the toilet?
  
  
• If your player from the sweepstake goes off, do you get the substitute?
  

5. DON'T PEAK TOO EARLY

The temptation will be to go out on Saturday night and, pumped with adrenaline and jangling of nerve, get battered before the main event even begins.

Stop. Take a deep breath. And another.

Don't throw it all away now. Pop yourself down on the sofa, crack open a lemonade and enjoy the gentle delights of Spain v Russia, free of expletives and anxiety.

This way, you can wake up on Sunday with the clear head of the truly innocent.

4. PROTECT YOUR OWN INTERESTS

Do you own a Renault? Is there a model of the Eiffel Tower in your front garden?

Cover them up. Hide them. Stick them in the shed.

Should England lose, some ape-like thug will almost certainly attempt to express his pain via the medium of violent destruction of the first French-related thing he sees.

Ask yourself this: are your soft cheeses safe?

3. COLLAPSE INTO PANIC

Oh my giddy aunts. We've got David James in goal! And either Ledley King or Jamie Carragher in central defence!

They've got Thierry Henry! And they've won the World Cup! We couldn't beat Japan!

2. GO GUNG-HO

We've got the hottest young striker in the world! And dead-eye Michael Owen! Up against the 94-year-old Marcel Desailly and Bixente Lizarazu!

They couldn't score a goal in the last World Cup! And the coach is so convinced they're going to lose that he'd rather manage Spurs!

1. APOLOGISE TO ALL, AND BEGIN

Man to girlfriend: "I am sorry, for I am about to shout and swear like a tramp coming off meths."

Woman to boyfriend: "I too am sorry, for I am about to scream in your ear like a demented banshee."

The talk is over. Let us begin!

[edcq]

lol . . . is there any site where i can see the games for free?

[fineintent]

Does anyone know the format of the tournament? If England came second would they play the winners of Group A? If so we're fucked...

[nabeel]

I was watching this documentary today on Schnieder, Holland international, or something like that name, and he is a good player .

[Herr Matzat]

lol . . . is there any site where i can see the games for free?

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the get showen in asia so maybee on that soccer stream side

[TheArsenal]

BEST ENGLAND SONG

That is the best England song in a long while. I'm buying it tomorrow.

[G-O-D]

Terry set to miss France showdown

LISBON, June 11 (Reuters) - England defender John Terry is out of the Euro 2004 match against holders France on Sunday, coach Sven-Goran Eriksson said on Friday.

Terry has failed to fully recover from a hamstring injury and will not be risked in the team's opening Group B game.

'He trained a little with us today, then he did some fitness work and, hopefully, he will join in tomorrow,' Eriksson told a news conference.

'But it's too short a time (for France), we think it's dangerous to risk it.'

'Probably he will not be fit for Sunday. We are sure that he will be fit for Thursday, the second game.'

Terry's place is likely to go to Jamie Carragher or Ledley King. Eriksson said he had already decided on the replacement but would not name names.

'It was a difficult decision but I think Carragher and King are both in good shape and did very well in practice sessions and in the games they played.'

Eriksson said Terry's absence did not mean England would have to re-jig their formation against the European champions.

'The way we're going to play on Sunday we would have done even if Terry had been on the pitch,' he said.

'It's a pity Terry's injured, we all know what a season he has had with Chelsea. But that's life in football and hopefully he'll be okay for the second game.'

Eriksson had made it clear all week that he would not take any risks with Terry, given the other Group B games against Switzerland and Croatia.

Eriksson was already missing three central defenders for the tournament after Rio Ferdinand was banned for eight months for missing a drugs test and Gareth Southgate and Jonathan Woodgate were sidelined by injuries.

Source

Huge blow to England.

[TMM]

Oh crud. Now we're left with either Jamie "I love to defend but I can't tackle" Carragher and Ledley "I play for Tottenham...I suck" King Thank god the other three...no, Gary Neville will play...thank god at least TWO of the defenders have talent!

Incase anyone is interested, Fantasy Football is on ITV tonight at 10. It's back

[Asuka's Gonna Kill You]

I'm happy Terry is out, in my opinion he isn't as good as everyone rates him, that's just me though. I hope to see King play, I think he is a pretty good defender and this will be one heck of a chance for the guy. The same goes for Jamie, if either do make a huge impact then I wouldn't be surprised to see Terry rested even when he is back to full fitness.

[Jonny D]

Oh crud. Now we're left with either Jamie "I love to defend but I can't tackle" Carragher and Ledley "I play for Tottenham...I suck" King Thank god the other three...no, Gary Neville will play...thank god at least TWO of the defenders have talent!

Incase anyone is interested, Fantasy Football is on ITV tonight at 10. It's back

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Ashley Cole may have talent but he certinly can't defend. And Gary Neville is reliable.

[TMM]

Have you seen Ashley Cole this season for Arsenal? He's been outstanding as a defender as well as attacking. He's added a LOT to that side of his game, while I admit a year ago he wasn't the best defender, now he is improved leaps and bounds.

[britneyspearsisgod]

I dunno why, but for England, Ashley Cole hasn't impressed me.

Does anyone know the format of the tournament? If England came second would they play the winners of Group A? If so we're fucked...

It goes the same as previous tournaments:

[1] Winner Group A vs Runner-Up Group B

[2] Winner Group B vs Runner-Up Group A

[3] Winner Group C vs Runner-Up Group D

[4] Winner Group D vs Runner-Up Group C

Then its the QFinals, and then the final. So that means England can face anyone really.

[Herr Matzat]

I dunno why, but for England, Ashley Cole hasn't impressed me.

It goes the same as previous tournaments:

[1] Winner Group A vs Runner-Up Group B

[2] Winner Group B vs Runner-Up Group A

[3] Winner Group C vs Runner-Up Group D

[4] Winner Group D vs Runner-Up Group C

Then its the QFinals, and then the final. So that means England can face anyone really.

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besides the idea of being the best of em all to win the tournament annyway...

Germany Shure is training HARD~!

Edited June 12, 2004 by Michael Matzat

[Animal]

Germany can pass all the half naked women they want they won't beat us tuesday. I think the match is going to be great.

[MDK]

Germany can pass all the half naked women they want they won't beat us tuesday. I think the match is going to be great.

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Great

[Herr Matzat]

Germany can pass all the half naked women they want they won't beat us tuesday. I think the match is going to be great.

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thats what you say untill all girls in the crowed show tittys and all the netherland players get distraced while the germans are used to it. BWHAHAHAHAHA, moster tacktick~!

[Jonny D]

BEST ENGLAND SONG

That is the best England song in a long while. I'm buying it tomorrow.

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Wow, that song does rule.

[stokeriño]

I'd just like to say that I am LOVING the opening video sequence for BBC1's Euro 2004 coverage.

The 'History of England in the European Championship' video isn't bad either. Someone give these editing guys raises.

[britneyspearsisgod]

The BBC production team is always top notch when it comes to this.

As for the Opening Ceremony, I'm actually liking it, except for the little shit with the weird hair. The stadium is fucking awesome as well. This is going to be one amazing summer of football, I guarantee.

[stokeriño]

Greece are in front!!

Sweet low drive, by the way. What's that, it was Chelsea's next signing that made the mistake? Sigh...

Edited June 12, 2004 by stokeriño