WWE: FSE (pronounced Fuse)

[naiwf]

OOC: My backyard diary will continue, but this will give me a chance to write a WWE diary based in the present without killing myself to write great matches all that often. The FSE part of WWE:FSE stands for "Focus (on) Sports Entertainment". Essentially, the bulk of each show will be about the characters and angle development. Matches will be a byproduct of what I'm trying to do with specific characters. PPV's will get the appropriate treatment with match write-ups, but I just want to move at a relatively brisk pace between those big events. Sadly, I am stuck with a hideous SmackDown roster and I may not be able to fix that any time soon. Onto the backstory and the tweaks to reality. . .

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"Do you know who I am?!? I'm VINCE McMAHON DAMNIT!"

He tried to intimidate me, but he failed. Yet, those ten words still echo in my head about ten weeks after Vince hired me. Who would have guessed that the WWE actually looked at applications from those ads on monster.com. In any event, he really enjoyed the fact that I've written for such comedy smashes as "Friends", "Will & Grace", and "Everybody Loves Raymond", and I think that's what clinched the job for me. I found it pretty odd that my 20 years of wrestling fandom meant next to nothing to him, but I guess that's what happens when you're dealing with an evil genius. Over the last year or so, he's definitely made strides to make the WWE more like a regular TV show, and less like a wrestling event with some scripted or ad libbed segments sprinkled throughout. After meeting up with the writing staff, I knew exactly what I had to do. . . cut their legs out from underneath them, but make it seem like I didn't do it!

When I had the chance, I casually introduced myself to Stephanie McMahon and ran a bunch of my ideas by her. I had to degrade myself a few times by dropping ass kissing remarks along the way, saying stuff like "well, I could never be as entertaining as you are Steph, but I think. . . ", or "some day, I hope that your father entrusts me with more responsibility. . ." Over the last month or so, I quickly rose through the ranks and have now firmly insinuated myself in Stephanie's good graces, to the point where I sit in with the big boys during production meetings and what have you. Just last week, I got a call from her saying that her father wants her to focus more on RAW, and developing our new weekend program that will feature the lesser workers from both rosters (that was one of my big ideas, although I wisely let Stephanie take most of the credit). Long story short, I'll be heading up SmackDown for the most part, but I also have some ideas on how to improve RAW as well, which I'll try to pitch slowly but surely. Unfortunately, we're tied into some matches for the Great American Bash that I am less than enamored with, but I'll do my best to make the show less sucky than Judgment Day was.

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There are a bunch of other minor details and changes that have been made, so I'll try to list them here. (Anything with a * is an edict directly from Vince McMahon, so I absolutely cannot defy those with one exception - rule # 4)

1 - RAW must continue to focus on HHH and Evolution until at least WM XXI (*)

2 - The Eugene character will only wrestle sparingly, but will be used on most RAWs for the next 3 months (*)

3 - Chris Jericho cannot win the World Heavyweight title unless HHH is injured (*, although it was HHH's idea)

4 - SmackDown should not be more entertaining than RAW (*, c'mon Vince, you should know better than that)

5 - RAW can and will take any star from SD! that they want at any time regardless of storyline continuity (*)

6 - Give away at least 1 PPV quality match on free TV the show directly before or after a PPV (*, grumble)

7 - All of the SmackDown women were released

8 - I was allowed to hire 10 indy level wrestlers to join the main roster immediately

8a) - However, Stephanie intervened so I am only allowed to debut 5 on SmackDown!, she gets the other 5 on RAW

9 - Between Stephanie and myself, we can only hire or fire 1 additional worker per month per show

9a) - If a wrestler is injured for more than 4 months, they can be released without counting towards the 1 per month limit

10 - Our new joint show FUSE will only be an hour long Saturday show, and will "Focus on Sports Entertainment"

11 - Tag team wrestlers can appear on either show but ONLY as a tandem. In order to wrestle in singles matches they must remain on their "home show" so to speak.

[botchedpiledriver]

I love the concept, The stipulations you have to work with are very realstic. You definently have the writing skills to translate and turn this into a successful diary.

Good luck.

[tristy]

How did you get past the copyright for FUSE?

That's a TV station, you know.

looks good so far. Funny how everything on RAW has a '*', and nothing on SD! does.

[naiwf]

OOC: My game is starting this coming Tuesday June 1st, 2004. Here's the recap of Monday's RAW, and a preview for Thursday's SmackDown. The two bolded angles on RAW are new things, so pay attention.

May 31st RAW recap

Match results

* Molly def. Lita

* The Briscoe Brothers w/Becky Bayless def. La Resistance in their debut

* Christian def. Rhyno

* Ric Flair def. Chris Jericho after interference by Christian & Tyson Tomko

* Shelton Benjamin def. Batista

* WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH

Randy Orton © def. The Hurricane to RETAIN the title

* MAIN EVENT

HHH & Kane def. Chris Benoit & Shawn Michaels (HHH p. HBK) after a sledgehammer shot

Angle development

* HHH cut a lengthy promo about his experiences in HIAC

* A video montage of all of the dangerous bumps taken in HIAC matches gone by, this backfired since Foley got a louder pop than the spots with HHH or HBK

* Benoit actually acknowledged his World Heavyweight Title match with Kane at Bad Blood

* Kane continued to torment Lita & Matt Hardy

* Hurricane is attacked backstage by an unseen villain

* Regal continues to lean towards his face turn when Bischoff announced Eugene would face the monstrous Tyson Tomko next week

SMACKDOWN PREVIEW - JUNE 3, 2004

With all of the lovely divas on SmackDown! getting released last week, Charlie Haas is faced with the difficult task of trying to get a despondent Rico to focus on their WWE Tag Team Title match against the 17 time former champions, Bubba Ray & D-Von Dudley! The Dudleys have refocused their efforts lately and have proven to be a formidable force that can legitimately vie for the honor of being "the best tag team ever". If Rico and Haas don't end up on the same page on Thursday, they might just have to kiss their titles goodbye in the same fashion that the WWE parted with their former valet, Miss Jackie.

General Manager Kurt Angle named John Bradshaw Layfield the No. 1 contender to Eddie Guerrero's WWE Championship a week ago. Mr. Angle also made the unprecedented step of allowing JBL to select the stipulation for this match which will take place at The Great American Bash on Sunday, June 27 in Norfolk, Virginia. JBL will finally reveal that stipulation this week on SmackDown! Speaking of Mr. Angle, the Olympic gold medalist has forbidden Guerrero from wrestling until 'Latino Heat' signs a release form clearing Angle of any liabilities if Guerrero is injured inside the squared circle. Will Latino Heat sign the form?

Lastly, this week's SmackDown will be special in that The Undertaker will be competing in a rare televised match, as he goes one on one with Booker T in a Judgment Day rematch! Booker claims that he is not scared of Undertaker and will "shock the world" and defeat the Phenom. Will his boasts come true? Find out this Thursday night at 8 PM on UPN!

Edited May 29, 2004 by naiwf

[naiwf]

OOC: I've decided to completely redo the concept behind FUSE, because it would have been a monumental flop in terms of the fans response, and I just couldn't have that happen since I am only playing as the head booker, and can be fired at any time. At least I was smart enough to test book a few shows before committing to a bad idea With that in mind, FUSE is going to be similar to the old ECW shows before they were on TNN, basically there will be a couple of unaired (dark) matches, and just a lot of promos hyping up matches to come in the following week, or on the next PPV's. For TEW purposes, RAW & SD! are back up to 2 hour shows, and FUSE is just 30 minutes.

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Recently added to this week's SmackDown! is an announcement by Paul Heyman. The volatile loudmouth has vowed that his newest protege will "become everything that Rob Van Dam SHOULD have been in the WWE!" Tune in this Thursday night to find out who Heyman expects to be the 'Next Big Thing' on SmackDown!

FUSE PREVIEW - JUNE 5, 2004

This week's FUSE promises a more in-depth look at the storied history between HHH & Shawn Michaels. How did these former best friends come to despise each other to the point where they are willing to potentially risk it all in an ominous HELL IN A CELL match?

Also, expect to find out about RAW's newest tag team The Briscoe Boys, as well as Paul Heyman's ace in the hole. These three newcomers have high hopes, but only time will tell if they can adapt to life in the WWE. Be sure to get their take on their first week in the company.

Lastly, expect to see two rookies do battle as the incredibly talented Akio looks to break free from the shadow of his former boss Tajiri, when he takes on the highly motivated rookie Orlando Jordan. Some within the company think Jordan can became a superstar, while others think he's in over his head. Which camp will be proven right? Tune in this Saturday night for the 1st edition of FUSE at 11:30 on Spike TV to get a behind the scenes look at what makes the WWE tick!

[apsham]

I'm actually liking this, especially the stipulations that you have to work with. I'm kind of curious to see what's going to happen with specific wrestlers, mainly Renè and what you're going to do with Eugene.

Good luck, and nice work so far.

[naiwf]

OOC: Does anyone know the official name for Dupree's finisher? I looked all over 411 & wwe. com but could not find it. And for my own purposes, the Lumberjack Match between Cena/Dupree did not take place.

This show's a little longer than I wanted, but I needed to set the wheel in motion. I hope it's not too "wordy".

SMACKDOWN 6/3/04 from Toronto, Canada

1 - GREAT AMERICAN SCREWJOB?

Tonight's show began with an explosion of pyro and a crowd of well over 16,000 Canadians making a ton of noise just before "Medal" began to play over the loudspeakers. Kurt (Mr.) Angle then rose from underneath the ramp on his hydraulic lift, and was wheeled to the center of the stage by Luther as the crowd chanted "YOU SUCK" at the top of their lungs.

Angle: "Luther, don't you think it's ironic that a bunch of people from Toronto are trying to tell ME that I suck? *Luther shrugs* Well, I think it is. I mean, when's the last time anyone from TORONTO won anything? Your precious Maple Leafs haven't won a Stanley Cup since 1967! 1967. . . I wasn't even alive then, and we all know how many championships I've won in the last 35 years. Let's see, I've won an Olympic gold medal, a World Championship medal, the WCW United States Title, the WCW World Title, the WWE Intercontinental, European and Hardcore Titles, the King of the Ring and the WWE Championshop not once, but FOUR times, so that means I've got TWELVE championships while you guys have ZERO, oh it's true, it's DAMNED true!"

*At this point Angle is getting major heat in hockey mad Canada, but that is quickly diminished when the Stock Market Bell rings, signalling the entrance of No. 1 Contender, John Bradshaw Layfield, who rolled out of his white limo flashing that shitfaced grin of his*

JBL: "Let me be the first to tell you Mr. Angle, that you do NOT suck. But you know who does suck? People like them! *points out to the crowd* They want us to risk our livelihoods for them, and then when we get hurt they forget about us. It wasn't that long ago that you were the best wrestler in the world, and these attention deficit disordered simpletons have already lost sight of that. That's why I decided to turn my back on them, and it's been one of the best decisions I've ever made! *more heat from the crowd*

In any case, I came here to announce what stipulation I have chosen for my match with that dirty, disgusting cheater Eddie Guerrero. At first, I thought a Steel Cage match would be best, but then I remembered that Mexicans are used to hopping over fences after they steal something, or when they try to enter the great United States of America! I've already made Eddie bleed all over himself, so that rules out a first blood match. I can't have it be a ladder match since my painting crew are all Mexicans, and they know their way around a ladder, let me tell ya *laughs to himself*. And then it hit me, the ONE thing that all Texans know how to use that Mexicans don't aside from a bathtub of course, and that's . . . a BULL ROPE! At the Great American Bash, I'm gonna drag Eddie Guerrero all around the arena and finally claim the one thing of his of any value, and that would be the WWE Championship!"

Angle: "Well, that match is not quite official just yet JBL. Hold on, before you get upset. . . if Eddie Guerrero doesn't sign a hold harmless release by the end of the night, not only will I STRIP him of the title, but you will become the WWE Champion TONIGHT! How's that sound?"

*JBL smiles again and shakes Angle's hand as we cut to our first break of the night with a graphic of Eddie Guerrero above the text "Will Eddie be stripped of the gold tonight"*

Kurt Angle/JBL int (Angle demands Eddie signs the release, or he'll strip him of the title, JBL chooses his stip) - 78% (12 min) - JBL rambled

2 - 'FRENCH PHENOM' FLEXES HIS MUSCLES

Tonight's first match relied on the age old adage of the first face always gets a nice pop, so out waddled the 400+ pound Rikishi, who played to the crowd by dancing a bit once he entered the ring. Seconds later, 'The French Phenom' Rene Dupree's music played and the cocky 20 year old slowly strutted down to the ring sans Fifi.

Dupree was almost in the ring when he decided to step back down and argue with a fan, leading to Rikishi attacking him on the outside. The two brawled out of the ring for away before finally spilling back into the ring where Rikishi hit a Samoan Drop, and decided to go for a Stinkface. Just as the crowd was about to cheer, Dupree scored with a low blow kick as Rikishi tried to "back that ass up". This led to Dupree doing the "Dupree Dance" drawing a decent pop before showing his great strength as he easily powered the big man up and drove him down with his Michinoku Driver finisher for the 1-2-3. Dupree added in a few extra stomps and then tossed Rikishi over the top rope before demanding a microphone.

'The French Phenom' Rene Dupree p. Rikishi - 75.9/76.6/67.2 (8 min)

3 - DUPREE WILLING TO GIVE UP HIS LOOKS FOR THE GOLD

*Dupree rattles off some French for about a minute before realizing that not everyone can understand him*

Dupree: "Ah, it is good to be back in a country where zay speak zee language of champions! As I was saying before, John Cena is how do you English speakers say, a cow-ard and a li-ar! For far too long he says that Rene Dupree 'chokes on nuts', but you zee that is not true. Rene Dupree does not eat nuts, they are too fat-eee, how else do you think I could keep my body in such perfect shape non? *Dupree tightens his abs and rubs his hand along them while the crowd boos* I think that Cena is just jealous that Rene Dupree gets all zee mademoiselles non. Now, there is no way to make Cena as handsome as Rene Dupree, but I could give him a fighting chance if I were to shave my beautiful hair. All you have to do Cena is put zee United States title on zee line at Great American Bash. If by some miracle, you can beat me, you can shave my head. If not, Rene Dupree shall become the first ever WWE French Champion! Allez la France!"

*Dupree exists the ring to decent heat as a "Baldy" chant starts up but is quickly squelched as Funaki sprints down to the ring*

Dupree challenges Cena to US title match at GAB, if he loses, he will shave his head - 84% (5 min)

4 - FUNAKI GETS SACRIFICED

With Funaki already in the ring, the lights dimmed and smoke filled the rampway as Mordecai's TitanTron began to play. The man who entered the WWE on a crusade that only he truly understands SLOOOOOOOOWLY walked down the aisle and made a big show of planting his staff near the corner. Mordecai then entered the ring and stared upwards towards the heavens and remained that way without moving a muscle.

Funaki got tired of waiting, and walked up to the newcomer waving his hand in front of Mordecai's face as if he were a soldier at Buckingham Palace. Unlike those soldiers, Mordecai pounced into action and delivered a tremendous beating on 'SmackDown's # 1 Announcer' before mercifully finishing him off with the CRUCIFIX BOMB. The three count that followed was academic. Mordecai flashed a hint of a smile as Funaki was left laid out while we went to another commercial.

Mordecai p. Funaki - 54.8/55.7/61.8 (7 min)

5 - CENA CALLS DUPREE OUT

When we returned, John Cena's music began to play and the 'Doctor of Thuganomics' strolled down to the ring wearing a Tie Domi jersey, pandering to the pro-Maple Leafs crowd. Cena rolled under the bottom rope and held the US Title high in the air before pulling a mic out of his back pocket.

Cena: "Yo, yo, yo, what up in the T-O! *cheap pop from the crowd*

Am I the only one in Toronto that thinks Dupree's a bit of a "homey"?, *emphasized with a limp wrist*

He sure as hell ain't a student of Thuganomics like my main man Tie Domi!, *another cheap pop*

I heard a rumor from Michael Cole that you two like to check out men's butts,

Maybe he can explain to you why you're always choking on deez nuts!, *yet another cheap pop*

Lemme get this STRAIGHT, you're willing to give up your hair 'cause you want another shot at my strap?,

Well check it out junior, if your corny ass beats me, then I'll give up my raps!,

But don't expect that to happen, 'cause I got this on LOCK, *Cena does his trademark double horns gesture*

And when you lose this time, maybe you'll finally get off my. . . {the crowd screams "COCK!"}

*Cena then goes to the crowd and celebrates with the fans*

Cena int (accepts challenge, will stop rapping if he loses) - 84.8% (5 min)

6 - CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE CONTENDER DECIDED

**BOOKER'S THOUGHTS MATCH**

If there's one thing that SmackDown definitely has over RAW, it's the cruiserwight division. . . however just before I took over they saddled me with a 54 year old, out of shape champion, who just beat the man who lost to a woman after having a dominant reign. GREAT. In any event, this next match would determine Chavo Classic's opponent for the Great American Bash. Naturally, the former champion, Chavo Guerrero Jr. was involved, and in order for people to care, I decided to trot our Rey Mysterio Jr., since he's pretty much the only fan favorite cruiserweight that the fans still cheer for.

The match was everything you'd expect from two consumate professionals, but in order to keep up with existing storylines, we had to ruin it with a nonsensical finish. Chavo Jr. signalled to his father to use his title to hit Rey after the referee checked on Rey who had just been dropped across Chavo's knee with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Chavo whipped Rey towards Classic, only for Rey to reverse it at the last minute. Classic probably could have pulled back on his swing, but the old man delivered the blow and hit Chavo Jr. in the kidneys with the belt leading to a WEST COAST POP and a victory for Rey, who would now get a chance to regain the gold at GAB! In order to set up the next couple of segments we went to another commercial. Gotta love network TV and their 16 minutes of ad time per hour.

# 1 CONTENDER TO CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE

Rey Mysterio Jr. p. Chavo Guerrero Jr. thanks to botched interference from Chavo Classic - 79.5/76.8/74.8 (12 min)

7 - CHAVITO & CHAVO HAVE HEAT

When we returned from the break we saw Chavo Jr. get in his father's face backstage and begin to yell at him.

Classic: "It was a mistake Chavito, calm down!"

Junior: "What the hell pops?!? How can you mistake me for Rey Mysterio Jr, he's wearing a mask for crying out loud! If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were ducking me, and trying to keep me from winning MY title again. That's two accidents in a row pops, there had better not be a third."

Classic: "C'mon, you're my son, and the greatest Cruiserweight Champion of all time! It's a dream come true seeing you succeed, and I'd never take anything away from you on purpose."

Junior: "Did you forget that you stole my title?!?"

Classic: "Like I said, that was an accident Chavito. You'll win the title again some time soon, so just be happy for me right now."

Junior: "I can't believe this pops, first I lost to Jacqueline, then you, and now Rey Mysterio. That's the worst losing streak of my life. I need to go get drunk or something, you coming?"

Classic: "Sure, I'll go start the car. Meet me outside in 10 minutes."

*As Chavo Jr. walks away, Chavo Classic begins to chuckle to himself letting everyone know that tonight's "accident" wasn't one at all*

The Chavos argue - 74% (4 min)

8 - HEYMAN'S NEW 'NEXT BIG THING'

*After the Chavo segment was over, we returned to the ring where Paul Heyman was standing centerstage*

Heyman: "Wrestling fans, I'd suggest you start to run your VCR's or your TiVo's because TONIGHT you are about to witness a bit of wrestling history. It was not very long ago that I promised you that a certain 'Next Big Thing' would rise to the pinnacle of our industry, and he did just that. Years ago, I promoted a small company that exploded upon the scene when we left the National Wrestling Alliance. This man WILL also explode upon the scene simply because he left the NWA for a brighter future.

This man is everything that Rob Van Dam was SUPPOSED to be. He's young, good looking, has a background in the martial arts, and more athleticism than anyone he'll ever face. The one thing that this man has that RVD does not possess is HEART. And tonight, he's going to prove that when he DEFEATS Rob Van Dam in his debut in this very ring. Without further ado, I present to you, the one, the only. . . 'Phenomenal' AJ Styles! If you want to know the definition of an IMPACT player {note the smarkish reference to TNA's new show which will air for the first time tomorrow night}, you're looking at him!"

*Heyman looks rather pleased with himself as Styles walks out to a loud response wearing a singlet eerily similar to something RVD would wear*

Paul Heyman introduces his new protege - 84.9% (4 min)

9 - AJ'S DEBUT

Heyman gave Styles some last minute instruction as the first strains of RVD's music began to play. The crowd erupted as 'Mr. Thursday Night' Rob Van Dam walked out and played to the crowd by doing his thumb sign while the ring announcer introduced him. RVD finally entered the ring after jawing with Heyman for a bit.

At this point, Styles offered him a handshake, and then showed his true colors as he slapped the taste out of RVD's mouth just as RVD reached for his hand! This led to an RVD series of hard punches that bordered on savage, but RVD was met with an equally vicious answer from Styles who would not back down from the former ECW star. This battle of one upsmanship continued throughout the match with Styles managing to stay one step ahead of Van Dam at every turn. The best move Styles executed was an Asai moonsault into an inverted DDT all in one motion, giving him a near fall.

Van Dam though finally seemed motivated and came back with an impressive rally including a Rolling Thunder and a Split Legged Moonsault. Just as he was going to climb to the top for a Five Star Frog Splash, Heyman popped up on the apron and distracted him. Styles then made a sprint to the top reminiscent of Kurt Angle, but instead of a belly to belly, he delivered a standard superplex. As AJ dropped down to make the cover he casually placed his feet on the middle rope, and got an assist from Heyman who held his feet in place as the referee counted to 3! AJ Styles had just stolen a victory over Rob Van Dam in his debut!

AJ Styles p. Rob Van Dam after cheating - 79.3/87/84.2 (14 min)

10 - WOULD EDDIE COMPLY WITH ANGLE'S EDICT?

The next segment began with Mr. Angle & Luther rising from beneath the ramp via the lift once more, with Angle holding a clipboard in hand, obviously containing the waiver that Eddie Guerrero is supposed to sign. After calling for Eddie to come out and not getting a response, Angle sent Luther to go find Guerrero and bring either the champion, or his newly vacant title back. Just as Luther made it off screen, Eddie appeared from just behind the curtain and snuck up behind Angle after telling the crowd to be "very, very quiet".

Eddie casually walked up to where Angle was seated and knocked over his wheelchair to a loud pop. Eddie got a few good shots in on Angle's bald head before signing the release. Eddie was just about to make Angle's life just a bit more miserable when John Bradshaw Layfield and the totally inept Luther sprinted out from the back to make the save. While he was placed back into his chair by JBL, an irate Angle gave Luther a severe tongue lashing before firing him! Angle's face was bright red in embarassment as he was wheeled to the back by the # 1 Contender.

Eddie Guerrero signs the waiver, attacks Angle, JBL makes the save - 80.8% (8 min)

11 - WOULD THE DUDLEYS PICK UP THE WORLD TAG TITLES FOR THE 18TH TIME?

The next contest was largely story driven, and focused primarily on Rico's inability to cope with the loss of his former valet, Miss Jackie. Rico's partner, Charlie Haas did his best to try and remind Rico exactly what was at stake tonight, but the usually jovial Rico would have nothing of it, mourning the loss of "his muse". On the other side of the ring stood The Dudleys who were looking to claim their 9th reign as tag champs in the WWE (they also held the ECW titles 8 times, and the WCW titles once).

Essentially, this match amounted to an extended handicap match for the Dudleys as Rico would tag in, pace around the ring for a few seconds and then tag right back out. The only reason Haas continued to accept the tags was that he knew Rico would be easy pickings for the hungry Dudleys. Haas nearly managed to pull off the miracle on a couple of occasions, but a Bubba Bomb pretty much ended any hopes of a comeback just before the 10 minute mark of action. From there it was a quick 3D and yet another title reign for the winningest tag team in the last decade. After the match, a bruised and battered Haas turned his back on Rico who continued to pout, almost oblivious to the loss he had just caused his team to suffer. Rico was on the verge of tears in the ring as reached our last commercial break.

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

The Dudley Boyz def. Charlie Haas & Rico (Bubba p. Rico) to become the NEW champions! - 68.3/70.8/66.5 (13 min)

12 - BOOKER'S BACK FOR MORE

Booker T was now shown backstage nervously pacing around, while saying something about his "insurance policy" under his breath as his music began to play. Booker then put on a brave face and made his way to the ring. Once he arrived in the squared circle, he grabbed a mic and began to speak.

Booker: "OK Dead Man, you might have gotten the win over me back at Judgment Day, but all you did was prove that you ain't prone to voodoo. When I went back home, I spoke to a priest and he told me 'Book, you cannot defeat evil with evil. Evil can only be overcome with good.' So I gots to thinking, and I came up with an insurance policy that even YOU can't be ready to deal with. No come on out 'Taker, and let Booker T show the world that he's the biggest star on SmackDown! Now can you dig THAT sucka!"

*Booker started fumbling around in his boot for a cross that he hurriedly slung around his neck as the Undertaker's music started to play*

Booker T int (Undertaker) - 93.1% (5 min)

MAIN EVENT -BOOKER HOPES HIS INSURANCE COMES THROUGH

Paul Bearer slowly led The Undertaker to the ring at a rather casual pace. Once UT reached the top of the stairs he waited for Bearer to remove his hat and jacket. 'The Dead Man' stepped over the top rope and stared right through Booker who clutched at the cross around his neck and mouthed a silent prayer before attacking as the bell sounded.

Booker T's blows had little to no effect on UT who then began to pummel Booker with a series of right hands, before flooring him with a clothesline. 'Taker signalled that it was time for his Choke Slam, but Booker rolled out of the ring to escape. Paul Bearer approached Booker and freaked him out by stretching the urn towards him, prompting Booker to re-enter the ring. . . right into the clutches of 'The Dead Man'! Booker showed tremendously quick reflexes as he fired a series of elbows into UT's temple, causing some separation. Unfortunately, the clothesline that followed was brushed aside, and 'Taker dropped him with a sidewalk slam. Undertaker then used his "ground and pound" offense to keep Booker T at bay. After growing bored with the beating he was delivering, 'Taker decided it was time for Booker's LAST RIDE as the crowd cheered him onwards.

It was at that moment, that Booker T's life was saved as Mordecai ran into the ring and caught The Undertaker with his staff across the back of the head leading to an instant DQ! A wobbly Booker T cast a glance at Mordecai and the two then began to beat on 'Taker who stumbled twice as he tried to get to his feet. An axe kick to the back of the head dropped 'The Dead Man', but it was Mordecai's CRUCIFIX BOMB that finally put him down for good. Booker T made the sign of the cross much like D'Von Dudley used to do and spat on Undertaker's limp form as the show came to an end, with Mordecai staring up into the heavens once again.

MAIN EVENT - The Undertaker def. Booker T via DQ, Mordecai run in - 72.5/79.4/50.5 (11 min) - both guys are not in top condition, UT needs a new gimmick

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Show stats: 77.7% overall rating/1,142,016 viewers/16,507 people attended for $363,154

Notes: I fired Luther since I have no use for him. I thought Angle could carry JBL to a nice long promo, but he couldn't, which means I'm being realistic.

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GREAT AMERICAN BASH - JUNE 27, 2004

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP BULL ROPE MATCH

Eddie Guerrero © vs John Bradshaw Layfield

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH - (Dupree's hair & Cena's rap gimmick are also on the line!)

John Cena © vs 'The French Phenom' Rene Dupree

WWE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

Chavo Classic © vs Rey Mysterio Jr.

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Edited May 30, 2004 by naiwf

[Protoman Version 2.5]

Considering overall what you have to work with on SD! that wasn't a bad show, in fact it was pretty good. And i'm glad you've kept the dudleyz far away from underseller. And that AJ Styles has come to the WWF/E with heyman.

You know if heyman is still managing the dudleyz ( i don't recall you mentioning it in the diary ) then heyman has himself a pretty decent stable. Dudleyz as his tag team and hired guns sort to speak. And AJ as the rising star. Though GBA i pray cena loses...he really needs to freshen up his gimmick or change it. By the way i also find it quite funny that it told you undertaker needed his gimmick changed.

[MalaCloudy Black]

For a minute I thought Heyman's "Next Big Thing" would be Jerry Lynn. And that's crappy about the Undertaker needing a new gimmick, I mean - after so many years as the Deadman/Biker-taker, what else would he fit into?!

[Guest The Notorious M.I.K.E]

I loved the backstory and how you immediately set the standard for your diary. It was well-written, realistic, and overall one of the best backstories I've read on here so far.

Your first event was great considering what you had to work with. Your format is pretty cool, how did you come up with it? Not that I plan on stealing it or anything... ... anyway, I'm looking foward to seeing how you handle Smackdown! and turn it around, as well as how you handle the Great American Bash pay-per-view. Smackdown! was a really good show, also well written. I could predict what would happen in the Undertaker/Booker T match, and I don't quite agree with the signing of A.J Styles, but I can easily get over that if this diary continues to be this good. This diary definently has the potential to be one of the best here, it's just up to you to either make it or not. Goodluck man.

[TGC]

Things I liked:

-The hair vs. raps match set up at GAB. Now, I don't expect to see a bald Dupree running around SD! anytime soon, so I look forward to the gimmick change ou must have planned for Cena. My initial thought when reading the challenge and the counter challenge was that naiwf must not want to write a Cena promo. not that I blame you.

-You hit the release button on Mordecai sooner than I expected, but I am glad. The guy can only squash Cruisers for so long before it's boring. I for one hope like hell that Booker and Mordecai wrestle Taker in a nice Handicap Match at GAB.

-The firing of Luther. Thank you. Talk about useless.

-Heyman's Next Big Thing being someone entirely different than his last Next Big Thing. What I mean is that it's not a monster or a roided up freak, but a High Flyer who can actually wrestle. I am undecided on the realism here, as I really doubt AJ wuld turn his back on TNA to join the WWE, but perhaps the whole RoH thing made him not so happy with Jeff and TNA?

-Chavo and Chavo Classic. I know, Chavo Jr. has been made to look uber foolish in reality, but I love the angle that they are in for some reason. Thanks for keeping it going, at least for NOW.

Things I hated:

-Everything Dudleyz related, from ignoring their attack on Bearer the week prior to them winning the Tag Team Titles from Rico and Haas. I just get the feeling that the real WWE might be pushing these guys AWAY from the Tag Team Titles, and yet you handed them right back to them with no build and no fanfare whatsoever. I hate it, so let's hope that they are just temporary champs to give the belts some honor again prior to some worthy team taking them.

-I still hate JBL. Nice try, but I still despise him.

Overall I give your debut SD! a B-. Not too shabby, even if you did pull a WWE and drop a few thing s with nary a mention of why.

TGC

[naiwf]

I'm only responding here because I haven't really watched SmackDown that carefully over the last 2 months or so, and based on the replies, I guess I did a decent job of not burying or ruining too many of their storylines.

To be perfectly honest, I didn't see the Dudleys attack Paul Bearer, so that explains why I didn't mention it. The Dudleys tag push was something I needed to do so I could have a story for Rico now that Miss Jackie is fired. They were not my favorite option, but another senseless run for the Basham Brothers didn't seem like a better choice. Heyman will still be managing them, although for this one show he was more concerned with getting his new acquisition over.

AJ Styles' jumping ship may be stretching reality a bit, but I will do my best to explain it on the FUSE show which I'm working on right now. I think that his reasoning is plausible, although even I admit it is highly unlikely.

It may take a while for me to resolve all of the SD issues, but I have been watching RAW steadily so expect less technical errors there.

And yes, JBL does indeed suck the big one, but I wasn't the one who thought pushing this guy was a good idea, blame Vince for that

Edited May 30, 2004 by naiwf

[Guest y2gudge]

I do like the direction you have already started to take, even with the unrealistic acquisition of AJ Styles, I can see that the planning for post Great American Bash is well underway. The Dudleyz will never be fresh ever again so you have to resign yourself to defeat there aswell as JBL being boring on the stick, unfortunately you are not a mircle worker!

*y2gudge*

[naiwf]

FUSE 6/5/04

1 - GETTING TO KNOW THE BRISCOES

The first FUSE segment ever was a hype video dedicated to the newest tag team on the RAW roster, The Briscoe Brothers.

Jim Ross voiceover: "From 1971 until 1984, whenever one heard the name, The Brisco Brothers they immediately thought of Jack & Jerry. A team who captured a total of 19 tag team championships (8x Florida, 4x NWA US, 3x NWA World, 2x NWA North American and 2x Georgia) in the course of their decade and a half long career. Jack also had some success in singles competition as he claimed the NWA World Title twice. But that was then. . . this is NOW!"

*A package of clips is shown of Jay & Mark training with each other, emphasizing that Jay is the power worker on the team, while Mark brings the speed and high flying elements. Jay shows off his J-DRILLER finisher (Tiger Driver), while Mark executes his CUTTHROAT SUPLEX (Mark wraps the guy's arm around his own neck, lifts him in torture rack position on his shoulders, and then spikes him on his head/neck)*

Jim Ross voiceover: "The new generation of Briscoes are poised to pick up where their namesakes left off. At just 20 & 19 years old, expect Jay & Mark to have a chance at becoming the greatest brother tandem in the history of wrestling. Remember that the only way you can witness these two talented youngsters make their run at history is to tune in every Monday night for RAW!"

Briscoe Brothers hype video - 46.6% (3 min)

2 - TWO ROOKIES SHOW THEIR SKILLS

The following match was taped before last week's SmackDown! Akio & Orlando Jordan came out to minimal reactions from the early arriving crowd in Toronto. With Tajiri now on RAW, and Sakoda in OVW, this was Akio's chance to start building towards making a name for himself as he would largely be wrestling in singles matches for the forseeable future. Jordan on the other hand has struggled mightily when it comes to connecting with the audience since his debut on Smackdown last year.

Jordan did what he could, but once again failed to impress the fans with his relatively limited moveset. Akio on the other hand was allowed to let loose so to speak, and by doing so instantly showed that he could be a solid addition to the Cruiserweight ranks on the show. The end came with Akio countering a Jordan powerbomb attempt with a sitout facebuster that was followed up with a 450 SPLASH for the 1-2-3.

Akio p. Orlando Jordan - 57/45.6/76.1 (7 min)

3 - PHENOMENAL DEBUT FOLLOWS MONUMENTAL DEFECTION

The next segment was taped after 'Phenomenal' AJ Styles' successful debut on SmackDown this past Thursday. Styles, Paul Heyman & The Dudley Boyz were busy celebrating a banner night in which Styles defeated Rob Van Dam, and the Dudleys claimed their 18th set of Tag Team Championships.

Heyman: "While it was never a doubt in my mind that the Dudleys would once again reign supreme in the tag ranks, tonight is about AJ Styles. Far be it from me to say I told you so, but RVD, I TOLD YOU SO! What you're looking at here is the next step in the evolution of Sports Entertainment. Mr. Styles is the product that arises when you combine athleticism, technical skill, charisma and most importantly the heart of a champion. He is what I prayed you WOULD have been in ECW RVD, he is the man that would have saved my company, where YOU failed!"

*Heyman is about to burst a blood vessel when Styles intervenes*

Styles: "I'm sure, everyone out there is wonderin' exactly why AJ Styles is wrestlin' in the WWE instead of being the franchise player in NWA:TNA, or is it TNAW now? *laughs to himself* Anyone who took the time to watch those shows knows that 'Phenomenal' AJ Styles was by FAR the most talented man on the roster, yet a loser like Jeff Jarrett was always promoted as the top dog. AJ Styles never wanted to be a fan favorite, but was told to go out there and kiss some ass so he wouldn't take the spotlight away from "good ole Double J". Everybody also knows that Jarrett's daddy owns the company, so I'll let y'all figure that one out yerselves.

The fact of the matter is AJ Styles got tired of playing second fiddle to Jarrett, that moron Vince Russo and all those other old timers, has beens and never-will-bes! Basically, AJ Styles decided to stop being the biggest, fastest and best looking fish in a small pond. When the WWE came callin', I decided it was time to step up my game and take on the biggest challenge of my career. With Mr. Heyman on my side, the sky's the limit for AJ Styles, and all you people at home should just be thankful that you're gonna get the chance to see me take SmackDown! to new heights!"

*Fade out with the Dudleys still trying to calm Heyman down*

AJ Styles int - 85.5% (5 min)

MAIN EVENT MATCH - BATTLE OF BIG MEN

**BOOKER'S THOUGHTS MATCH**

Tonight's final match was taped before RAW and saw A-Train make a rare appearance on the WWE's flagship show. Since being traded to RAW on March 22nd, Train has barely been utilized, but tonight he had the chance to take on another of RAW's behemoth, the Super Hero In Training, Rosey.

The match itself was nothing special as the two 330+ pounders pummeled each other with punches and clotheslines. Midway through the short contest a "SHAVE YOUR BACK" chant started as that's the extent of what fans have come to expect to do during an A-Train match. Mercifully, the match came to an end when Train drove Rosey into the mat with a DERAILER. I later learned from Stephanie that it was "always important to follow up one of those 'little cruiserweight matches' with the big guys fans come to see!", even on a taped show. I guess that's where our philosophies differ. Unfortunately, I think she was right because the crowd was more into this match than the Akio/Jordan one even though the SD! match saw much better in ring work.

A-Train p. Rosey - 60.7/51.3/68 (7 min) - A-Train got Bossman/X-Pac heat

MAIN EVENT SEGMENT - HELL IN A CELL HYPE

http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/info/history-hitc.html

http://badblood.wwe.com/stories/survivors.html

The final segment of the evening was a testament to the brutality associated with Hell in a Cell matches. For the purposes of hyping up the Bad Blood Main Event, only matches featuring HHH or HBK were shown. The video began with the match that ultimately ruined HBK's back, the infamous debut of the HIAC way back on October 5, 1997. The lasting image of a bloody and battered Michaels being helped to the back by HHH of all people set the transition to the four matches involving 'The Game'.

The first time HHH entered the cage was on February 27, 2000 at the No Way Out event when he defeated Cactus Jack in what was supposedly Jack's retirement match. That match was one that truly helped launch HHH to prominence as he defended the WWF title and vanquished the legendarily hardcore Jack in one of the most brutal matches ever. Ten months later HHH was part of the Six Pack Challenge version of the HIAC, since he lost that time, minimal attention was devoted to it. HHH picked up his 2nd victory in the Cell on May 21, 2002's Judgement Day when he defeated Chris Jericho with a Pedigree on the roof of the steel structure. HHH's fourth and final HIAC match to date took place at last year's Bad Blood when he beat another former best friend, Kevin Nash. This match was glossed over as well due to its poor execution. The final image was that of HHH celebrating Michaels' victory roughly 7 years ago.

The main point of this segment was to show that these two men, who were once as close as brothers, have never been defeated in one on one competition in the Cell, a trend which would come to an end for one of these two men in just 8 days! Their friendship is already over, but one has to wonder if either or both men's careers will come to its conclusion as a result of this feud which fittingly can only end in the most dangerous structure ever erected for a wrestling match.

Bad Blood Main Event hype video - 93.7% (5 min)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Show stats: 52.6% overall rating, 765,831 viewers, 4,961 people attended for $109,142

Notes: This may not be interesting to you, but I went from 85 to 86.7% popularity in the US & Canada thanks to SmackDown, and dropped right back to 85% after this show. I'll probably tweak FUSE a bit more, but this will be the general feel for the time being.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[syck]

Yeah the FUSE show wasn't that great, its like Confidential, but with matches. I skimmed the majority of it, but I did happen to like the Styles/Heyman int. As for Smackdown, you could have thrown the abduction of Paul B. into the mix and the whole Heyman stable thing..which makes me think about the Dangerous Alliance Paul E. Dangerously had in WCW...which makes me feel old...and I'am only 17! But for the most part, Smackdown was a good show.

[naiwf]

OOC: I stole most of this straight from the real RAW preview for tonight and added in the parts not dealing with Lita/Kane & HHH/HBK.

RAW PREVIEW - JUNE 7, 2004

Tomorrow night's RAW will come to you LIVE from Albany, New York!

Apparently, Lita lived up to her end of the bargain after giving Kane an answer of yes to his mysterious demand. As a result, Lita thought it was over, whatever "it" is. While RAW fans still don't know what "it" is, it appears to be far from over, despite Kane's claims that "it's ALL over." Will we ever find out what "it" is or was? Tune in to Monday Night RAW to find out.

Eugene on the other hand, knows exactly what to expect tomorrow night on RAW. . . a match with the 6'6 292 pound 'Problem Solver' Tyson Tomko, thanks to his own uncle, RAW GM Eric Bischoff! Tomko has yet to wrestle in the WWE, but fans can expect to see this man's awesome power on display in less than 24 hours. Eugene has proven to be both lucky and talented in his brief stint on RAW, but he's never faced anyone so mean and powerful. Will Eugene's luck finally run out tomorrow night, or is this kid's undefeated streak going to continue?

Hurricane was brutally assaulted last week on RAW, and everyone on the RAW roster is a suspect at this point. Will the WWE's resident super hero be able to piece together the identity of his mysterious attacker, or was Hurricane simply the victim of "the perfect crime".

Now that a Hell in a Cell Match has been announced for Bad Blood, pitting Shawn Michaels up against Triple H, will these two bitter rivals be able to bottle their emotions until then? If their pasts are any indication, fans can expect to see one of these icons try to gain the upper hand prior to Bad Blood. But who will it be?

All of this and more, as the road to Bad Blood continues on Monday Night RAW at 9/8 PM CT on Spike TV!

[MalaCloudy Black]

I'm looking forward to RAW, and seeing if Eugene can carry Tomko.

[kaplanir]

I like this diary. Vince's stipulations make it realistic.

[naiwf]

This show should be up by tomorrow night. Looking at the RAW roster, I came to the conclusion it's almost as hard to book with Vince's restrictions as SD! is without them

RAW PREVIEW - JUNE 7, 2004

Stephanie McMahon's return to RAW will be a historic one, and that guarantee comes from the 'Billion Dollar Princess' herself! Stephanie has encouraged female fans in particular to tune in for what she promises will be an announcement with "international implications". In addition to Stephanie's announcement, she has also added two BIG title matches to tonight's show.

Firstly, WWE Women's Champion Victoria will put the title on the line against former champion Jazz! The self proclaimed "bitch" has promised to regain the title that she last lost in upstate NY, Buffalo to be specific, on June 30th of last year to Gail Kim. Speaking of Ms. Kim, she will take on the winner of this match at Bad Blood on Sunday night, and there's a good chance that she and/or Molly Holly will be on hand to try and tip the scales one way or another.

The Main Event has also been decided and will see double champion Chris Benoit, and his partner Edge put up the World Tag Team Titles against the very team they won them from, Batista & Ric Flair! Benoit & Edge won the titles seven weeks ago, and the World Heavyweight Champion Benoit has defied the odds by managing to hold onto the two most prestigious titles on RAW for this long, but one has to wonder if the pressure of defending two titles will finally become too much for 'The Crippler'. If Batista & Flair have anything to say about it, Evolution will once again be carrying the majority of the gold on the WWE's flagship program. Be sure to tune in for a landmark Monday Night RAW tonight at 9/8 PM CT on Spike TV!

[naiwf]

OOC: I've been trying to get into writing this card for about two days now, and then I realized, I don't really like what's going on on RAW and that's the big problem. So, I decided to do the smart thing and give just a general recap from the SD booker's point of view. After all, this IS Stephanie's show . I will however write out the storylines that he created. This format will likely change after a few shows, but I think it makes sense for now. Feel free to criticize this decision, or let me know if you liked it. The attendance is spotty since I maxed out New York's ratings to test something out, and forgot to set them to normal for this diary. On with the show.

RAW 6/7/04 from Albany, NY

1 - CHRISTIAN CONTINUES ON THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL

Tonight's show began with an explosion of pyro and Union Underground performing the RAW theme over the speakers as a crowd of well over 23,000 filled the Pepsi Center in Albany, New York. Moments later, the generic theme song of Shelton Benjamin played and the crowd gave him a warm ovation as he slapped hands with a few lucky fans as he entered the ring. A few seconds afterwards, Christian appeared, and was accompanied down the ramp by his main squeeze, Trish Stratus. Noticably absent was Tyson Tomko who was preparing for his debut match later in the night.

For years, Christian has been regarded as one of the most talented all around workers in the WWE. For years, Christian has also struggled to achieve top tier status within the WWE, and that struggle continued tonight as he went one on with RAW's biggest rising star. Benjamin moved to RAW last then three months ago and has picked up TWO wins over HHH, one over a living legend in Ric Flair, so it was a bit of a foregone conclusion that he would defeat Christian on this night, especially when it was announced by JR early in the match that Benjamin would be challenging Randy Orton for the IC title at Bad Blood this coming Sunday night.

Benjamin was able to win with a Dragon Whip, and proved that he was focused on the task at hand as he ignored Trish's constant attempts to interfere. Following the match, Benjamin began to pose on the turnbuckles and motioned towards his waist as if to say the title would be his by next Monday when. . .

Shelton Benjamin p. Christian - 81/78.8/81 (15 min)

2 - ORTON PLANS TO WIN IC TITLE MATCH

. . . Randy Orton's face appeared on the TitanTron. The IC title was slung over his left shoulder, and prominently displayed as he began to speak while mockingly applauding Benjamin's victory.

Orton: "Well done Shelton, well done. You certainly must be on top of the world after beating someone like Christian. *Shelton nods his head* But you SHOULDN'T be! Is Christian a legend? NO he's not! Randy Orton on the other hand IS a legend killer, and the NEW 'Living Legend'! Did I mention that I'm also the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion in the last SEVEN years? You see Shelton, while you were busying playing around on that 'B'-level TV show, I was busy beating guys like Shawn Michaels, Chris Benoit & Mick Foley, and establishing my legacy.

You on the other hand have never done anything that caught my attention, but I guess someone decided that you have "earned" a shot at my title. I think it's just affirimative action at work, you see, people like YOU have always needed a leg up, a helping hand if you will. Randy Orton though, is above all that, Randy Orton is the kind of guy who just is a natural achiever. Shelton Benjamin is just another punk kid in need of a lesson, and this Sunday night, Randy Orton will teach you exactly what happens when you step in the ring with a TRUE legend!"

*The crowd started really giving it to Randy once he brought race into the mix, and I can't say I blame them, I don't know what Stephanie and Vince were thinking there. That kind of heat never lasts and only causes more trouble than it's worth*

Randy Orton int (Benjamin/IC title match at Bad Blood) - 76.2% (7 min) - Randy rambled, duh!

3 - MATT FINALLY GETS A WIN, BUT LOSES AT THE SAME TIME

Although the next match was technically Matt Hardy vs Garrison Cade, it was really another forum to try and get over the # 1 Contender, Kane. Just as this match hit the 5 1/2 minute mark, Kane's pyro exploded in the four corners sending Cade out of the ring almost immediately. While the intelligent thing for Matt to do, would have been to follow Cade's lead, he tried to do the manly thing and got his ass kicked as you would expect.

Kane completely walked through Matt's punches, buried a few knees in Matt's abdomen and CHOKESLAMMED him "all the way to hell", while Lita shrieked in horror from outside of the ring. A second CHOKESLAM followed, and Kane finally chose to leave the ring after glaring at a crying Lita one last time, while we cut to a commercial.

Matt Hardy def. Garrison Cade via DQ thanks to interference from Kane - 71.1/61/73.7 (8 min) - crowd came to see gimmicks, Cade doesn't have one, so they didn't care about him

4 - KANE IS A "TAKER"

The intrepid Todd Grisham then confronted Kane backstage, demanding to know why he attacked Hardy. 'The Big Red Machine' snatched the microphone from Grisham who then ran off at top speed.

Kane: "Why did I attack Matt Hardy? You want to know WHY I attacked Matt Hardy?!?. . .because I COULD! If Matt Hardy really wants to know why I've chosen him to be sacrificed, all he has to do is ask Lita. *Kane distrubingly licks his lips as the crowd oohs in typical fashion* The main reason I did what I did was to send a warning to everyone else on RAW, and especially Chris Benoit! This Sunday night, I WILL take the title Benoit, just like I TOOK what I wanted from Lita, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. NOTHING AT ALL!"

*Kane then destroyed the entire set, but that didn't save the segment. Now everyone KNOWS Kane shouldn't speak, but hell, they already ruined that about a year ago*

Kane int (his secret/Bad Blood match) - 64.3% (6 min)

5 - DIVAS DISAPPOINT

The next match was for the WWE Woman's Title with Victoria set to defend against Jazz. Neither woman received a great response from the crowd as Jazz is well, Jazz, and Victoria's recent dance hall queen gimmick change was met with as much enthusiasm as a Rodney Mack/Mark Henry match .

Jazz was her usual dominant self, once again wrestling circles around her opposition, but it was Victoria who turned in a less than stellar performance, botching a powerslam, and nearly breaking Jazz' jaw with her Standing Moonsault. Jazz kicked out, and was bleeding from the mouth as she started to take the fight to the champion, culminating with her face first straightjacket slam. Jazz got a little bit too cocky and charged right into a big boot that eventually led to a WIDOW'S PEAK and a victory that she was unable to enjoy as Gail Kim & Molly Holly ran in and double teamed the champ, culminating with Kim applying her Crucifix Armbar submission! Victoria eventually passed out from the pain, and Kim celebrated as though she had just won the title. . . which will be the case if she makes Victoria submit this coming Sunday at Bad Blood!

WWE WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH

Victoria © p. Jazz to RETAIN the title, Gail Kim & Molly Holly run in afterwards - 60.5/62.9/61.2 (10 min)

6 - STEPHANIE'S VERSION OF A DIVA SEARCH

The next segment was partially my idea, but Stephanie McMahon totally bastardized it, and turned it into something bordering an outright burial of the show she left me to inherit. . . bitch! I guess she truly is her daddy's daughter. *sigh* The RAW crowd surprisingly cheered wildly as Stephanie McMahon made her first appearance on the program since September 16th, 2002. Stephanie finally got the crowd to settle down and then made a brief announcement.

Stephanie: "I just want to say that I have finally left SmackDown! in order to appear on the show with not only the greatest fans, but also the best wrestlers, and that is without a doubt, RAW! *cheap pop from the crowd* The only thing that RAW doesn't seem to have is enough beautiful women, like ME! *another cheap pop* Well, I convinced Eric Bischoff to let me fix that problem as a peace offering for allowing me to help him beat the competition. So, for the next month, we will be holding the first ever RAW Diva Contest. The two women that you fans end up selecting will be presented with RAW contracts at Vengeance next month. Now, we don't want women that can't wrestle, since that used to be SmackDown's calling card, and quite simply, we're better than that. So if you can wrestle, look good in a bikini, and want to become a household name, please log on to wwe.com and fill out an application. Ta ta!"

*Steph blows a kiss at the camera and exits the ring to a stunningly loud cheer from the NY crowd*

Stephanie McMahon's RAW diva search (two female wrestlers from around the world will win contracts) - 93.1% (5 min)

7 - POOR JERICHO

I think it's pretty clear that HHH had a (heavy?) hand in booking Chris Jericho's match tonight. There's no other reason to have him go up against a "babyface" A-Train, who was making his debut on RAW. All I could think of while I was watching this from the back is what exactly did Jericho do to deserve this?!?

The match was a typical A-Train affair consisting of a few "SHAVE YOUR BACK" chants, a lot of stalling, and relative silence while he was on offense. Jericho tried to carry him to something watchable, but his back gave way (figuratively) since A-Train is a lot of dead weight as we all know. The end came with Jericho going low on a Derailer attempt which set up a LIONSAULT for the 1-2-3. A-Train kicked out right after the three count was registered, which did not help Jericho's status at all.

Chris Jericho p. A-Train - 68.1/63.1/61.6 (11 min) - Train got X-Pac heat

8 - EUGENE MAKES AN INNOCENT MISTAKE

The next segment took place after a commercial break, and showed once and for all that New Yorkers are a different breed as Eugene was not greeted with the same kind of reception he'd received in every other arena he'd been to to this point. A small chant of "KILL THE RETARD *clap clap clap clap clap* broke out as Eugene stumbled around the backstage area, just to the left of William Regal.

Regal: "Master Eugene. . ."

Eugene: "EU-GENE!"

Regal: "As I was saying, Master Eugene, you need to prepare for your match with Tyson Tomko. . ."

Eugene: "Eugene likes Tonka Trucks!"

Regal: "Master Eugene, settle down. . ."

Eugene: "Eugene misses his Tonka truck! Will you buy me a new truck? I lost my old one a long time ago."

Regal: "Master Eugene, you have a match in a few moments, please try to focus on what I'm trying to tell you."

Eugene: "Eugene is reading for Tonka-man. He might be big, but he's no Giant. The Giant is scary, he growls and drools and stuff. I wouldn't want to fight the Giant, he might eat me. That would be bad, don't you think Mr. Regal?"

Regal: "Come on Master Eugene, it's obvious you are not ready to heed my lessons. Let's go."

Eugene: "Will ya buy me a new truck if I beat Tyson Tomko tonight?"

Regal: "Why do you know his name now? Were you not listening earlier?"

Eugene: "I was listening, but I like trucks more than your 'Eugene, don't do this, Eugene, don't do that' speeches. They're boring".

Regal: "Well I never! I've never been besmirched by a simpleton before."

Eugene: "BESMIRCHED! That word is funny, kinda like the face you make when you say it."

*Eugene tries to mimic Regal's face as Regal storms off towards the ring*

Eugene/William Regal promo (Tyson "Tonka") - 63.2% (5 min)

9 - EUGENE'S NEXT BIG CHALLENGE

Regal & Eugene got a decent pop as they walked through the curtain, but it was a decidedly lesser reaction than in prior weeks. To compound the issue, Tyson Tomko came out by himself and that turned out to be a big mistake since the fans had no reason to boo him without being physically in the presence of either Christian or Trish Stratus.

The match itself was not very pretty, or complex as Eugene acted like a matador ('El Matador' Tito Santana) for the first few minutes, trying to avoid Tomko's raw power. Tomko eventually caught him, and used his VERY limited offense to drop Eugene a half dozen or so times, but it was a double axehandle blow to the back of the neck that started a rally by Eugene (Eugene-ing

up?) and eventually led to him taking both men over the top with a flying clothesline! Regal instantly went to check on Eugene who banged his knee on the way down, and this seemed to offend Tomko who dropped Regal with a big boot to the temple! Tomko then turned his attention to Eugene as Regal checked to see if all of his teeth were still in his mouth.

Eugene snapped upon seeing Regal down and began a Dusty Rhodes sequence of punches and elbows to the head before grabbing his crotching, rolling his hands and delivering a Bionic Elbow to a decent pop. Regal had regained his wits by now, and reached into his pants pocket while Eugene rolled into the ring to break the three count. Regal uttered an English profanity at Tomko before spinning him around and introducing him to the POWER OF THE PUNCH! Tomko was out cold by now, and getting an earful from an irate Regal as the referee counted. . . 8. . . 9. . . 10! Eugene had won via countout, and was jumping up and down in the ring, when his uncle, Eric Bischoff appeared.

Bischoff: "I told you never to interfere in one of Eugene's matches didn't I, Regal? But you couldn't follow a SIMPLE set of instructions. Well, if you want a match so badly, you'll be happy to know that I've just officially signed a match for you two at Bad Blood. It's going to be Eugene & William Regal against Tyson Tomko and Christian. . . and if you lose for ANY reason, whether it be a countout, a disqualification, pinfall or submission, the two of you will be banned from WWE arenas FOR LIFE! Maybe NOW, you'll learn not to cross Eric Bischoff!"

*Eugene looks puzzled in the background, but continues to celebrate while Regal utters some English obscenities at Bischoff as we cut to another break*

Eugene def. Tyson Tomko via CO - 48.5/38.4/67.2 (9 min)

10 - WHODUNIT?

We returned from the break to see a cheesy takeoff of the murder mysteries of days gone by with a black and white video. Hurricane is dressed as his reporter alter ego, complete with a Sherlock Holmes style cap and pipe in his mouth. He's pacing back and forth scribbling some notes on a pad, then crossing them out and writing something else.

Voiceover: "It was just a week ago when someone knocked The Hurricane for a loop. The poor kid said they hit him so hard from behind that he thought his eyeballs were going to pop out the front of his head. He didn't get a good look at the perp, but knows that it was a man cause he didn't smell any perfume, so that eliminates Gail Kim, Jazz, Lita, Molly, Nidia, Stacy, Trish & Victoria from the list of possible suspects. Even if he hadn't mentioned that, I would have erased the dames from suspicion. When was the last time a broad knocked a man out cold for almost 10 minutes? I couldn't find any clues at the arena, and I still don't have a motive, but what I do know is that someone attacked The Hurricane, and the kid deserves some justice, and gosh darnit, he's gonna get it! Mark my words, whoever did this will be exposed for being a coward. A real man wouldn't have attacked him from behind. . . wait a minute, that gives me an idea!"

*The reporter disappears as the voiceover reminds us to "tune in next week at the same time, same channel" clearly ripping off the old live action Batman show*

Hurricane/Whodunit hype video - 77.8% (5 min)

11 - STEVIE'S NOT PLAYING GAMES ANYMORE!

With "The Hurricane" involved in trying to solve a crime, Rosey was left to take this next match by himself. This seemingly minute detail played a major role as he was set to face Stevie Richards. As we all know, this is the 10:40 jobber spot, and most people assumed that Rosey would use his immense girth to destroy Stevie and get us to our Main Event as soon as possible. But, that was not to be. Rosey was dominating the action until Richards begged off in the corner and pulled the referee towards him.

This seemingly innocent move later paid off as Rhyno charged into the ring and caught Rosey with the GORE. This allowed Richards to pull Rosey up and deliver a completely unnecessary STEVIE-T for the victory. Just to drive the point that this was an alliance home, Rhyno and Richards stomped Rosey down heading into the last break of the evening.

Stevie Richards p. Rosey after interference by Rhyno - 71.9/68.7/71 (8 min)

MAIN EVENT - A BIG MISTAKE

As we came back from the break, Evolution's theme played and 'The Nature Boy' Ric Flair got a huge pop. The same could not be said for Batista, who the crowd totally ignored as he went through his bodybuilder poses at the top of the ramp. After the former 2x champions entered the ring, the current champions Edge & Chris Benoit came out to Benoit's music. Just before the match was to begin, "IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAAAAAAAAME!" blasted over the P.A. system and HHH emerged wearing a referee's shirt and an evil grin.

Benoit and Edge complained to the referee that was already in the ring, but he left in a hurry as HHH told him to "get lost". I didn't quite understand the purpose of HHH refereeing this match, but it dawned on me fairly quickly as it was meant to put HHH in a position where all eyes were on him as he deliberately slow counted the champions whenever they had a chance to cover either Batista or Flair. As if it wasn't bad enough that Michaels/HHH will be the Main Event of Bad Blood, despite Benoit being the champion, HHH went out of his way to make Benoit look second rate by daring Benoit to hit him, and even getting on his knees at one point to emphasize his size advantage over 'The Crippler'.

Benoit and Flair did the lion's share of the wrestling, which was probably wise considering Edge's injured wrist, and Batista's limited ability to do anything but pummel an opponent for a short period of time. The end came when Flair went low on Edge and knocked Benoit off of the apron with a vicious chop. Flair tagged out, and then sprinted out of the ring as Benoit gave chase. A few seconds later, a DEMON BOMB on Edge got a three count for Batista, and a third reign as one half of the champions alongside Flair, who had now re-entered the ring, where he hid behind the leader of Evolution. With the match now over, HHH decided to take a cheap shot at Benoit, and the numbers advantage Evolution had played a role as the three men quickly overwhelmed the now former champions.

The crowd instinctively looked for some help, and they received it when Chris Jericho ran out to make the save, and ran off HHH, Flair and Batista courtesy of the steel chair he brought with him. Jericho checked on his Canadian compatriots, and the show was about to end when Eric Bischoff added yet another last minute match to the PPV, Batista & Flair vs Edge & Jericho for the WWE World Tag Team Titles!

MAIN EVENT - WWE WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Batista & Ric Flair def. Chris Benoit & Edge (Batista p. Edge) to become the NEW 3x champions! - 81.7/77.8/71.6 (19 min)

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Show stats: 71.4% overall rating/1,154,393 viewers/23,856 people attended for $524,832

Notes: Stephanie fucked me quite hard during her little speech, the sad part is I can't legitimately dispute her claims. I'm willing to bet money that my Hurricane mystery outdraws her stupid diva search on her own show though.

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BAD BLOOD - JUNE 13, 2004 (final card barring injury)

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH

'The Canadian Crippler' Chris Benoit © vs Kane

WWE WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Batista & Ric Flair © vs Chris Jericho & Edge

WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH

Randy Orton © vs Shelton Benjamin

WWF WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH

Victoria © vs Gail Kim

HELL IN A CELL GRUDGE MATCH

HHH vs Shawn Michaels

Christian & Tyson Tomko vs Eugene & William Regal

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