Who is the worse super-hero?

[Yitzy]

Yeah, so in a completely random MSN convo with Hajjhowe, we started talking about this.

I say Captain Planet is, because first off, IIRC, he relys on a bunch of kids who also happen to be incredibly politically correct. (There's the Latino guy, the Asian girl, the black guy, and then a white guy and girl for good measure) he doesn't even beat-up anyone. He just flies around using his PC Planteteers to tell viewers about enviromentalism (Is that even a word?).

How gay.

VS.

[TOG]

Go to hell. Captain Planet is a complete badass.

[LL!]

Aquaman isn't a bad super-hero at all. He's just... different. Besides, he's more of a super-hero than Batman will ever be due to having powers, and a bunch more people would rate Batman above him.

Thus, the anti-pollute bitch gets the vote for worst super hero. I get the feeling that if Michael Jackson were a super-hero, he'd be more like Captain Planet.

[Liam]

I'd say Captain America is worse than those 2 (he isn't a superhero though, is he...I can't remember)

Edited March 16, 2005 by rvdwannabe

[LL!]

I'd say Captain America is worse than those 2 (he isn't a superhero though, is he...I can't remember)

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I think he was considered a super hero. The only thing is that he was summoned by some little fruit loops... especially that heart kid.

[tristy]

Fuck you Yitzy, Captain Planet is bad-ass. He saves our world everyday! What does Aquaman do?

He controls the fucking fish.

[Yitzy]

But at least Aquaman beat things up, not to mention that he was nearly unbeatable in some SNES fighting game.

[TMM]

Sub Mariner > Aqua Man

Therefore, Captain Planet > Aqua Man. On the subject of Captain Planet, I want some DVD's released damn it! Or at least wanna see it on TV again.

[tristy]

But at least Aquaman beat things up, not to mention that he was nearly unbeatable in some SNES fighting game.

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[TOG]

But at least Aquaman beat things up, not to mention that he was nearly unbeatable in some SNES fighting game.

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Captain Planet saves the universe. I think we all owe Cpt. Planet a big "thank you".

Bitch.

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[Guest Pirate Chasin' Booty]

He's got a mullet, how else could he not be the coolest superhero ever?

[Guest Captain Planet]

Cpt. Planet is bad ass! If you couldnt tell...

My least fav is The Tick, I love the movie from 2001, but the comics sucked!

[Summers]

WE save the universe.

He just takes the credit.

[Yitzy]

My least fav is The Tick, I love the movie from 2001, but the comics sucked!

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[lafunky xxvii]

Yeah think about it: Captain Planet fought pollution.

Which is harder to fight? A guy in a spandex suit or something that's not actually a physical being?

I'm sure Aquaman could smoke me a nice salmon fillet, but I doubt he could stop carbon monoxide fumes.

[Guest Pirate Chasin' Booty]

[Guest Ringmaster]

Quite the dilemna here, but let's look at it this way.

Aquaman can stay underwater forever. He can see chicks skinny dipping in there.

On the other hand, Captain Planet, with his capacity to destroy polution is able to get together with some of those hot chicks who are against wasting shit. I'm sure he also tapes that black guy and the Asian having sex, because they were so gay, which he then sells on the net. Although there was no net back then, so he probably had his own porn ring. And he gets to bang that girl who's part of his group as well. Have you ever heard her? It's like "Oh, Cap, you're so cool, oh, yeah, fuck the pollution out of me! Yeah! Yeah! Oh Yeah! Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me! I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come, YEAHHHHH". Just watch the show, tell me she doesn't talk like that.

However, Aquaman gets to fuck those weird water chicks he meets. I mean, okay, there's that faggot kid who follows him around and who's like, what's next Aquaman. He probably jerks off while watching Aquaman swim around, he's even worse than that homo Robin. But at least, the kid probably videotaped Aquaman fucking, and they made a lot of money off it, making Aquaman into one of those Buttman-like figures.

But, in the cartoons, there are those hot women living underground. And everytime Aquaman beat the shit out of a shark or something, they were like "Oh, Aquaman, you have saved our kingdom, ORGY PORGY".

Although, from the looks of things, the anti-pollution squad is less prudish than the water women, because they're all about nature and shit like that, so I'd assume they're way more kinky and love using their body. But, fucking women underwater is gold. But, really, when it comes to fucking in the lake or doing it anal, I'd go with anal.

However, we can't neglect the fact that Captain Planet has that Captain Pollution guy as his enemy. Captain Pollution, is clearly a Republican homosexual. The other enemies that Planet has are nothing but a bunch of tools, save for the few times that pollution chick appeared. Although no one would fuck a woman made of garbage.

On the other hand, Aquaman had evil fish-looking people as enemies, and those were even worse than those pollution brothers. However, he also had that weird underwater evil woman, whatever her name was, and after the show, you could see him attaching her hands after he's saved the Ocean world and he's like, "I'm taking care of her", and you could see that punk kid with him go "Gee, Aquaman, can I come" and he's like "Not today son, not today". So he clearly hit it repeatedly. As a matter of fact, he probably released her just to catch her again, then fuck her again. It was a big game to him. That fucking Aquaman.

But let's also look at it this way. Captain Planet, is probably bisexual. Why? He controls earth, wind, fire and water. Earth is female, so that's out of the question. But wind and fire? Big gay. Have you seen old Greek representation of those things when they talk, its always some sort of big characiture whose lips are spread wide and making an O shape. So from the looks of it, they just give him oral, maybe some half and half. I mean, look at Captain Planet, he has this red underwear type thing, if that doesn't scream chastity belt, i don't know what does. He clearly can wip his dick out, because its massive and he needs to eradicate internal pollution by using it, but his ass is off limits. So he's not ass bi, but somewhat bi. Water on the other hand, is also female. But since Aquaman controls water, does Planet control him? Do they engage in homosexual activites together? It's a possiblity, but Aquaman hides way under water, and he's like this insurgent type character to Captain Planet, he defies him by killing evil fish, and Captain Planet loves all of God's creatures, even evil fish. So it's really quite the intense dilemna here.

We're also neglecting to take into consideration their theme songs. "Captain Planet, he's our hero, bla bla bla" is clearly better than "Aquaman! [insert fish and water noises]" Yet, the underlying subtext in the songs can't be neglected. Captain Planet is our hero. Remove the h from hero, you have ero, coming from the Greek word eros, meaning erotic. This clearly insinuates that Captain Planet is found quite erotic by his peeps. And that he probably had sex with the girl who wrote the song. Why girl? No man would ever call some blue freak his hero, it reeks of homosexuality.

Yet, the Aquaman theme song reeks of a guy fucking some woman to death underwater. Aquaman, she screamed, and then there were fish sounds. It's like this emotive scream, and then she gets fucked underwater, you hear gurgling noises. Occasionaly, there was this song I don't remember, but at the end of the song, you could clearly see Aquaman pop out from underwater, his fist up, with an "UH" noise. He indoubitably fucking the woman to death underground.

This makes Aquaman a killer, ladies and gentlemen. Gives him some sort of edge.

But, here's what it comes down to:

Aquaman saves the water world. Granted, the Earth is 70-80% based on water, but that means he only spends his days in water. Meaning that he saves this place inhabited by fish. Sure, he got some tail from those underwater women as well. But you know what happened to the guy? This one day, some sailors fished him out with shrimp. He tried to explain to them that he was the almighty Aquaman, and what did they say? "Hey, let's that tie that bitch up and fuck'im in the ass!". To this day, Aquaman is still bitter. This has happened over and over. No one cares about Aquaman.

Captain Planet, on the other hand, saves all of Earth. What this means is that every woman, every wife, every school girl, every single woman on earth is willing to sleep with him. Or has slept with him, without their knowledge, because Captain Planet can rape them via the medium of wind, water or even fire, if they're witches or something. And if that doesn't give him the edge over Aquaman, then nothing ever will.

[LL!]

Quite the dilemna here, but let's look at it this way.

Captain Planet, on the other hand, saves all of Earth. What this means is that every woman, every wife, every school girl, every single woman on earth is willing to sleep with him. Or has slept with him, without their knowledge, because Captain Planet can rape them via the medium of wind, water or even fire, if they're witches or something. And if that doesn't give him the edge over Aquaman, then nothing ever will.

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But he's obviously a flamer... and besides how much tail can he get from being inside some fruity kids' rings all day?

[Johnny Latino Heat]

Aquaman's only there because the Justice League needs somebody to make them sandwiches.

Therefore... Captain Planet > Aquaman.

[Guest Ringmaster]

I think I have asserted that he is bi. Think about, 6 billion people on earth, how much tail can he get?