Bill Hicks

[tristy]

I credit The Midget & Tool for getting me started on this true comedy legend. Speaking of which, if you listen to Tool, you've heard some of his material on the song Third Eye.

I think he's one of the funniest and greatest comedians I've ever heard. Talks about everything from sex/masturbation, religion, politics, everyday life, music, etc. Too bad he's dead now.

So, uh, anyways. Does anyone else like him? I have 3 of his CD's on MP3 (Arizone Bay, Relentless, Dangerous) and I bought his Live DVD a few days ago. All of that stuff is great.

My favorite bit of material from Bill Hicks has to be this little gem:

Cause you know, if you play New Kids on the Block albums backwards, they sound better. "Oh come on, Bill, they're the New Kids, don't pick on them, they're so good and they're so clean cut and they're such a good image for the children." Fuck that. When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children? I want my children to listen to people who fucking rocked. I don't care if they died in puddles of their own vomit. I want someone who plays from his fucking heart.

"Mommy, mommy, the man that Bill told me to listen to has a blood bubble on his nose!" Shut up and listen to him play! The New Kids! "Hi we're the New Kids and we're so good and clean-cut..." (cocksucking noises) "We're so clean cut!" Seig Heil! Heil! Heil! A good clean country... Heil! Heil! Heil! (more cocksucking noises) Fuck that! I want my rock stars dead! I want them to fucking play with one hand and put a gun in their other fucking hand and go "I hope you enjoy the show!" (gun-fire noise) Yes! Yes! Play from your fucking heart!

[Hobo]

Never heard much of his stuff but always found it funny - I have to agree with him on the music thing though.

[BlackFlagg]

Hicks is great, got the DVD as soon as it came out, another amazing comic that went way to soon

"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant."

[apsham]

Philosophy

Arizona Bay

Rant In E-Minor

That's what I have... and I have to rate him below my favorite comics, Lewis Black and David Cross, but he's still on my list of five best I believe, number five behind Dane Cook and Eddie Izzard.

"You've got to see English crime, if only we had crime like this. It's hilarious. You don't know whether or not you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God, I read a front page section of the news paper one day in England;

"Yesterday, some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury. The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! What if they become ruffians?I'd hate to be a dustbin in Shaftesbury tonight."

No one knows what it's like...

To be a dustbin...

In Shaftesbury...

With hooligans...

The hell are you talking about? Hooligan... ruffian... speak English. It's Crip, Blood. And I'm sure it's a serious thing, hooligans, but I just picture a bunch of pale guys with penny-loafers and no socks.

"We're the hooligans"

"You fucker come here."

"Nope, got to catch us! If you corner me, I might become a scallywag!"

[Farmer Reil]

Bill Hicks suffers from having the same first name as the REAL greatest comedian in the entire world.

But he's ok I guess.

[Pepsi]

My all-time favorite Bill hicks bit....

"I'm so sick of arming the world, then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries, then we go and blow the shit out of them. We're like the bullies of the world, y'know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheepherder's feet.

"Pick it up."

"I don't wanna pick it up, Mister, you'll shoot me."

"Pick up the gun."

"Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble, Mister."

"Pick up the gun."

(He picks it up. Three shots ring out.)

"You all saw him - he had a gun."

[Benji]

Three words: British Sex Shop

'Nuff said.

[Guest Josef Stallion]

For some odd reason Maddox has been called the new Bill Hicks. Considering he's only a dude who has a website...

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant. = greatest. quote. ever.

Bill Hicks is teh shit.

EDIT: Couple other great ones.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.

Edited July 14, 2005 by Josef Stallion

[Guest bukkake]

Hicks was a great man. I'm surprised the government didn't assassinate him.

[Steeb]

Bill Hicks suffers from having the same first name as the REAL greatest comedian in the entire world.

But he's ok I guess.

←

[fineintent]

Bill Hicks suffers from having the same first name as the REAL greatest comedian in the entire world.

But he's ok I guess.

←

Please tell me you are referring to the brilliance of Bill Bailey....if so

I haven't heard any of his stuff, yet, but the thread has inspired me to get some, so I'll let you know more once I've listened. I do like the quotes from this topic though

←

[GRIFT]

My friend Rossi is positive that he was assassinated by the Bush adminstration and that the cancer was a cover up... I don't know how far I'd read into that but Hicks was great.

[pigeon]

Hicks is a legend. His stuff on drugs, pro-lifers, and religion is still brilliant. Not to mention gays in the army;

Gays in the military . . . Now, I don't know how you all feel about it, gays wanna be in the military . . . here's how I feel about it, alright? Anyone . . . DUMB enough . . . to want to be in the military, should be allowed in. End of fucking story. That should be the only requirement.  I don't care how many pushup's you can do - put on a helmet, go wait in that foxhole, we'll tell ya when we need ya to kill somebody.

[Farmer Reil]

Bill Hicks suffers from having the same first name as the REAL greatest comedian in the entire world.

But he's ok I guess.

←

Please tell me you are referring to the brilliance of Bill Bailey....if so

[Steeb]

Bill Hicks suffers from having the same first name as the REAL greatest comedian in the entire world.

But he's ok I guess.

←

Please tell me you are referring to the brilliance of Bill Bailey....if so

[Skummy]

Bill Hicks suffers from having the same first name as the REAL greatest comedian in the entire world.

But he's ok I guess.

←

Please tell me you are referring to the brilliance of Bill Bailey....if so

Of course I am

Bill Bailey > *

←

Pssh, Bill Cosby....nothing on The Bailey....

So as to add a point, I got some Bill Hicks stuff, and to be honest, I wasn't impressed. I laughed about twice during an entire hour set. It...it was funny, just not funny enough for me to laugh at. Plus the amount of 'clingers-on' there seemed to be in the crowd dampened it a little too.

←

As was mentioned earlier by pigeon, Bill Hicks' strength wasn't from his stand-up but rather from his overall social commentary. As funny as he was, historically he should be remembered much more as a political/social analyst, as that's what he was good at. His views on religion are what turned me on to him, and it's that kind of thing that I like him for.

He's in a totally different category to the likes of Bill Bailey, and I'll admit that I'd laugh much more at a Bailey show than a Hicks one. That said, Izzard > Noble > Bailey.

[fineintent]

That said early-Eddie Murphy or Richard Prior > *

I'd agree with Skumfrog, as Hicks' most famous soundbyte is the "instead of fighting, why not feed and clothe the poor?" he's definately a cult social commentator IMO.