The BVS WWE: 2004-05

[DMN in the House]

Dammit, how do you feel about my WM commercial idea? It would have been gold, dammit!

[The Third Dukes]

- Opening match (shocking): Molly Holly v. Jackie Gayda.  This'll be shorter than Chris Candido if they're smart.  Molly catches a charging Gayda and slams her down, then spins the arm.  She gets a German suplex for two, followed by a cross-body.  To the top, but Kane catches her and chokeslams her down for the DQ at 1:31.  1/2*  Kane sets up a table on the outside and threatens to dump Molly through it, but Christian races out and low-blows Kane to stop it.  So Kane grabs CHRISTIAN and puts HIM through the table instead.  Molly waits to see if Christian's okay before Kane tells Molly that she can visit him when they're roommates in the hospital next week.  Kane's such a bastard.

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You know that if Candido reads that, he'll come after you and bite your kneecaps, right?

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[The Third Dukes]

One. World. Leader. Entertainment. Attitude. Short. Words.

Howard Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome rock legends Motley Crue!”

We pan over to the stage, where Vince Neil and the rest of the Crue are ready to play.

Vince Neil: “Let’s go for it LA!”

IF I DIE TOMORROW

by

MOTLEY CRUE

I wake up to find myself

After all these years

And where all the time has gone

Still seems so unclear

'Cause there's no one else

Since I found you

I know it's been so hard

You should know

If I die tomorrow

As the minutes fade away

I can't remember

Have I said all I can say?

You're my everything

You make me feel so alive

If I die tomorrow

It brings out the worst in me

When you're not around

I miss the sound of your voice

The silence seems so loud

'Cause there's no one else

Since I found you

I know it's been so hard

You should know

If I die tomorrow

As the minutes fade away

I can't remember

Have I said all I can say?

You're my everything

You make me feel so alive

If I die tomorrow

I spent all my life

Looking for our innocence

I've got nothing to lose

One thing to prove

I won't make the same mistakes

Now I know

That everything will be ok

When I die tomorrow

If I die tomorrow

As the minutes fade away

I can't remember

Have I said all I can say?

You're my everything

You make me feel so alive

If I die tomorrow

You make me feel so alive

If I die tomorrow

If I die tomorrow

The crowd cheers as we fade to black.

The Stone Cold Steve Austin “Gladiator” trailer airs, but with a minor difference: instead of “...and tonight, I unleash hell”, it ends “...and tonight, we unleash hell!”

AND NOW, Raw, SmackDown!, and World Wrestling Entertainment present...

W*R*E*S*T*L*E*M*A*N*I*A*X*X*I

JERRY BRUCKHEIMER HELPED US OUT IN SETTING UP THIS DISPLAY OF PYRO as we come to you LIVE from the Staples Center in Los Angeles! The stage area is a good 10 feet off the floor, the Tron is practically in the ceiling, and life is good! Sign of the day: “Pick me a winner, Eddie!”

Jim Ross: “This is the Staples Center! This is Hollywood, California! This is the biggest event of the year! This is WrestleMania 21! Hello folks, Jim Ross back at ringside alongside Diamond Dallas Page, and DDP, I know you’ve been in WrestleMania before, but the atmosphere... there’s just nothing like it!”

Dallas Page: “Oh, you better believe it, Jimbo! This is why we work and sweat every day, to come to an event like this! And I know a couple of guys who have the toughest job in show business, so let’s give them some love. Hugo Savinovich and Carlos Cabrera doing the broadcast for the boys in Latin America!”

Hugo and Carlos exude generalized excitement, but it’s in Spanish so your guess is as good as mine as to what it says. Probably better, actually. At any rate, they throw it to Michael Cole and Jim Cornette.

Michael Cole: “All right, thank you, Hugo, and I gotta agree with everyone else right now -- this is the greatest, most energized I’ve felt in quite some time. We have nine outstanding matches tonight, including 6 titles on the line -- two of them at once!”

Jim Cornette: “Michael Cole, tonight has a chance to be a night of firsts. Who’s going to be the winners in the first ever Double Title Tag? Can Billy Kidman hand the Undertaker his first defeat at a WrestleMania? Will Edge climb the mountain and finally achieve his first ever WWE Heavyweight Championship?”

ONE OF A KIND blares throughout the Staples Center as our first match is ready to begin.

Michael Cole: “Well, we’ll find all that out in a short period of time, but first things first, Corny -- we got six-man tag team action that’s all about respect and revenge!”

Howard Finkel: “The following six-man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and to ensure a fair result, the managers of both teams will be handcuffed to each other for the duration of the match. Introducing Team #1, led to the ring by their manager, Stephanie McMahon, at a total combined weight of 698 pounds, the team of the Hurricane, the WWE United States Champion Ron Simmons, and Rob - Van - Dam!”

As everyone’s in the ring to play to the crowd, the sirens blare and the big NO appears on the Tron, turning everyone’s cheers into boos.

Howard Finkel: “Their opponents, accompanied by their manager, Steven Richards, at a total combined weight of 794 pounds, the team of Jonathan Bradshaw, Bull Buchanan, and Sean Morley, the Right to Censor!”

The RTC enters the ring and throws their hands up in a salute. Referee Rudy Charles pulls out a pair of handcuffs, slapping one end on Stephanie’s wrist and the other on Steven’s on the outside. The two managers glare at each other as Charles rolls back into the ring, just in time to see the brawl erupt.

Steph Stable vs. Right to Censor

APA ex-teammates meet in one corner as RVD batters Morley and Bull tosses Hurricane around. Bradshaw whips Simmons into a boot from Bull, but RVD nails a crossbody on Bull to knock him over. RVD then catches Bradshaw with a side kick as everyone else leaves the ring. RVD throws Bradshaw into the ropes, does the splits as he returns, and nails Bradshaw with a standing monkey flip. RVD tags in Hurricane, who enters via the top rope and connects with a missile dropkick on Bradshaw. Hurricane tries to run the ropes, but Steven catches his foot (causing Stephanie to yank him back) and Bradshaw runs over Hurricane.

Bradshaw brings in Bull and holds Hurricane in a full nelson. Bull punches away at Hurricane’s gut before picking Hurricane up and landing a spinebuster. He covers for two. Bull tags Morley in, and Morley hits the running knee strikes and Russian legsweep on Hurricane. He converts it to an Octopus hold, but Hurricane is right by the ropes and grabs them. Morley brings Bradshaw back in, and Bradshaw tosses Hurricane hard into the turnbuckle. Hurricane staggers out into an inside-out lariat from Bradshaw, who covers but only gets two.

Bradshaw tags Morley back in before slamming Hurricane down. Morley goes to the top rope right by Stephanie, so she climbs onto the apron in an attempt to shove him off. Steven pulls Stephanie back to the outside, and Morley hits the Moral High Ground. Simmons makes the save. Morley brings Bull in, and Bull leaps to the top rope. His clothesline, however, is cut off when Hurricane dropkicks Bull in midair. Both men are down. Bull gets to his knees, but Hurricane runs as he gets up and nails Bull with a Shining Black. Both men crawl to their corners, and tags are made to Simmons and Bradshaw.

Simmons slugs down Bradshaw, backing him into the ropes and sending him for the ride. He catches Bradshaw in the spinebuster and races to the corner, knocking Morley and Bull to the floor. He picks Bradshaw back up and throws him into a neutral corner. Bradshaw staggers out at Simmons gets in a three-point stance, and Simmons runs Bradshaw over with a shoulderblock. He covers, but Morley races in to save and everyone follows.

The referee attempts to clear the ring, and in the process, Bradshaw winds up to deliver a big boot to Hurricane. Hurricane senses it coming and ducks, and Bradshaw hits Bull instead, sending him flying out of the ring and onto the managers. At the same time, Simmons dives off the top rope and spears down Bradshaw. Morley grabs Simmons and tries for a whip, but Simmons reverses and sends Morley into a Hotshot from Hurricane. Morley staggers back into Simmons’ powerslam as RVD climbs to the top. With Simmons and Hurricane cheering him on, RVD dives off with the five-star frog splash onto Morley. He covers, and that’s enough for the three-count.

Ron Simmons, Hurricane, and Rob Van Dam (11’28 Five-Star -> pin) Sean Morley, Jonathan Bradshaw, and Bull Buchanan

Michael Cole: “What a way to start WrestleMania 21! Ron Simmons, The Hurricane, and Rob Van Dam get their revenge on the Right to Censor!”

The referee removes the handcuffs from the dazed managers. Bull helps Steven to the back as RVD and Hurricane help Stephanie to her feet so she can celebrate.

We cut to the back, where Motley Crue is hanging out and drinking beer with Steve Austin.

Steve Austin: “Now I’m telling ya right there, that’s some of the best stuff the WWE has to put on, I guaran-damn-tee ya. And we’re just getting warmed up.”

Tommy Lee: “Oh, it’s gonna be a great night tonight... who’s that?”

Nathan Jones walks into the frame. Austin stands up to meet him.

Steve Austin: “And just what do you want?”

Nathan Jones: “I wanna know why you left outta WrestleMania. I petitioned you personally to get a match, and you never even sent a reply, mate. What gives?”

Steve Austin: “You wanna know why ol Stone Cold left you out? It’s cuz no man in their right mind wants to see you out there stinkin up the ring.”

Nathan Jones: “Well... I came here for a fight. And if you don’t want me soiling your ring...”

Jones eyes Vince Neil menacingly.

Nathan Jones: “I’ll do it back here, mate.”

Steve Austin: “I don’t think that’s a smart move.”

Nathan Jones: “And what’ll you do about it, crip? I ain’t scared of a bloke like you!”

Jones grabs Austin and hurls him out of the way. He looms over Neil and Nikki Six, cackling, when from seemingly out of nowhere, Test arrives and nails his running boot to Jones’ face, knocking him over. Jones slowly gets to his feet, but as he does, Austin returns.

KICK WHAM STUNNER~!

Austin throws Test a beer as he salutes with Six.

Nikki Six: “Hey, Test, man. Thanks for bailing us out there.”

Test: “Anything for my old friends.”

Back to ringside, where JR and Page have the floor.

Dallas Page: “Old friends? Test knew Motley Crue back in the day?”

Jim Ross: “It’s more than that, Page. He used to be a roadie for the rock group before Vince McMahon signed him after the band performed on a live RAW! That’s how Test got his start here in the WWE!”

Dallas Page: “Well, it looks like we’ve come full circle here, cuz Test just saved the Crue from the Colossus, Nathan Jones. I’m telling ya, Jimbo, this is gonna be a wild event, and we haven’t even started yet!”

Evolution’s theme plays as Michael Shane emerges from the back with teammate David Flair. He is decked out much like his famous uncle.

Howard Finkel: “The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the Intercontinental Championship! Introducing the challenger, accompanied by his Evolution teammate David Flair, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing in at 221 pounds, Michael Shane!”

Majestic music plays as the fans let out a cheer. The champ emerges from the back, accompanied by his longtime sidekick.

Howard Finkel: “His opponent, joined by Dawn Marie, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing 228 pounds, the Intercontinental Champion, Lance Storm!”

Storm enters the ring and poses, with Dawn Marie by his side. He removes his belt and presents it to Andrew Thomas, who holds the belt up high before calling for the bell.

Intercontinental Championship match: Lance Storm (champion) vs. Michael Shane (challenger)

They lock up. Storm tries for a headlock, but Shane slips out and hooks a waistlock behind Storm. Storm gets a standing switch, but Shane flips over him on the German suplex try and catches Storm in an armdrag. He applies an armlock, but Storm grabs Shane’s leg and trips him up, falling back onto him for a one-count. Shane escapes, but Storm switches to a headlock, frustrating Shane. Shane fights to his feet and tries to shoves Storm into the turnbuckle, but Storm blocks and pulls Shane over onto his back, maintaining the headlock.

Shane kips up out of the headlock and charges Storm, backing him into the corner and punching away. He sends Storm to the opposite buckle, but his follow-in clothesline attempt is dodged and Storm gets the headlock again. This time, though, Shane gets a back suplex, sending Storm over the ropes and out to the outside. David Flair races over to add his two cents, but the ref warns him away. Shane runs the ropes and vaults over the ropes (and ref), landing on Flair and Storm. Shane picks Storm up and rolls him back in, following him. He tries to whip Storm into the ropes, but Storm stops and recoils at Shane with a swinging neckbreaker.

Storm goes to a front chancery, but Shane is up fast and hooks one of his own, switching into a suplex. Shane picks Storm up and hooks a fisherman’s suplex, holding the bridge for two. He kicks away at Storm before picking him up and sending him into the ropes, but Storm kicks Shane in the head on the return before jamming Shane’s throat over his knee. Storm grabs a gagging Shane from behind and hits an inverted DDT. He covers for two before switching back to the headlock to maintain control.

Shane rolls Storm onto his back, earning a couple of two-counts. Storm gets up and tries again to flip Shane onto his back, but Shane wiggles out and catches Storm with a superkick. Shane covers for two. He picks Storm up in a belly-to-belly position and flings him into the turnbuckle. Storm staggers out into a second belly-to-belly, planting him in the center of the mat. Shane goes up top, but Storm gets to his feet. Shane tries a double axe handle, but Storm catches him on the way down with a right cross to the face. Storm follows with a Rude Awakening on Shane, crawling over to cover, but Flair puts Shane’s foot on the bottom rope. Storm yells at Flair, so Shane rolls him up, putting HIS feet on the ropes. It still only gets two.

Shane throws a fit, allowing Storm to sneak up behind him and hit a German suplex, maintaining the bridge for a two-count. Storm sends Shane over the top rope, but Shane lands on the apron. He springboards back in and catches Storm in a Tornado DDT, but Storm catches Shane and blocks, reversing to a Northern Lights suplex. Shane sits up, grabbing his neck, so Storm adds the Mr. Perfect neck snap and returns for a cover. He gets two.

Storm hooks a full nelson, but Shane gets a quick mule kick to break. Shane grabs Storm in a DDT and rolls him over, covering for a two-count. Shane pops up and warms up the band, but his Storm ducks the subsequent superkick, which hits Andrew Thomas square in the jaw, knocking him out cold.

Storm panics, but Shane merely steps back and hits another superkick on Storm. He goes up top, frames the elbow, and dives off, hitting Storm. He covers, but (duh) there’s no referee. Shane gets up in frustration and calls to David Flair, who grabs the I-C title belt and climbs onto the apron. Shane whips Storm into Flair’s direction, but Dawn Marie pulls Flair off the apron. Shane has already turned around to celebrate, so he doesn’t realize Storm emerged unscathed until Storm grabs his hair and yanks him to the canvas. Shane slowly gets up, so Storm applies a dragon sleeper from behind on Shane.

Shane tries to fight out of it as Thomas slowly gets to his feet. He grabs Storm’s leg in an effort to bridge out, but Storm drops to the ground and hooks a bodyscissors, changing the hold to the Beast Choker. Shane continues to fight as Thomas wanders over to check on Shane. Shane rolls around, trying to make the ropes, but Storm rolls him back. Eventually, Shane is forced to tap out.

Lance Storm (16’27 Beast Choker -> sub) Michael Shane

Storm retains the Intercontinental Title

Jim Ross: “And Lance Storm keeps his title, no thanks to David Flair and Evolution! He simply outwrestled the young kid!”

Dallas Page: “It was all about the experience. Lance Storm had a gameplan entering the match, and he stuck with it. He broke down Shane’s neck, and in the end, he got Shane to surrender the match. A brilliant display of old-school wrestling there by Lance Storm.”

We cut backstage, where we see Molly Holly warming up in the women’s locker room. Torrie Wilson appears in the shot. The two women share an uneasy moment before they both smile and hug each other.

Torrie Wilson: “I’m sorry to interrupt.”

Molly Holly: “No, no, go ahead.”

Torrie Wilson: “He scares me. I still wake up with nightmares about being under his control. I just... I wanna make it all go away.”

Molly Holly: “It’ll never go away. But be strong. I’m here for you. Your husband’s there for you. No one’s going to hurt you again, okay?”

Torrie Wilson: “Um... Billy... I don’t know where he is. He said he wanted to prepare alone... I haven’t seen him.”

Molly Holly: “Really? That’s odd. Look, you stay here. Undertaker can’t get in here, okay? And don’t worry. Billy’s gonna be all right.”

Torrie Wilson: “It... it’s just... between this and the living will he made, I don’t know what he plans on doing. I just don’t want him to kill himself over me.”

Molly Holly: “Torrie, don’t you see? He’s willing to die because he loves you. That’s beautiful.”

Torrie Wilson: “Oh, I guess I know, but...”

Molly Holly: “Look, you just stay here. Let Billy take care of the Undertaker. After all, I got my hands full with his brother. So just wait. Everything will be fine. Okay? We’ll take care of you.”

Torrie Wilson: “Th... thanks.”

We go back to ringside.

Jim Ross: “Well, certainly if anyone can be a pillar of strength, it’s Molly, but later on she’s going to have her hands full with the Big Red Monster, Kane. But folks, that’s later on, and right now, we have a very exciting and very unique match.”

Dallas Page: “You said it, Jimbo. It’s going to be 12 people, 2 titles, and three pinfalls to decide it all. Never before at a WrestleMania have multiple titles been on the line in one match, so this is an opportunity for one team to make history and walk away decorated in pure gold.”

Howard Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the four corners 12-person elimination match! Each team will consist of two men and one woman. When all the remaining teams have been eliminated, the woman on the winning team will receive the Women’s Championship, and the two men will be awarded the World Tag Team Championships!”

The tires screech and Cuban music begins playing over the PA. Team #1 emerges from the back to a loud reaction.

Howard Finkel: “Introducing the participants: Team #1, at a total combined weight of 670 pounds, the team of Booker T, Scott Hall, and Stacy Keibler!”

After they all enter the ring, Booker drops to one knee and stares at his hand, he Spinaroonis up as pyro goes off at all four corners. The cheers for the Spinaroonie quickly become boos as Southern rock music plays and the next team emerges from the back.

Howard Finkel: “Team #2, at a total combined weight of 530 pounds, the team of Joey and Chris Matthews and Jackie Gayda!”

Jackie gets in Stacy’s face, which prompts Joey and Hall to separate their teammates. As everyone mills about, the Texas Tornado music that is for the Wildcat plays and the crowd comes back to their feet.

Howard Finkel: “Team #3, at a total combined weight of 608 pounds, the team of the Women’s Champion, Alexis Laree, the Wildcat, Chris Harris, and Sting!”

Sting howls to the crowd as Alexis rocks out. All three enter the ring and call a huddle to determine strategy. As they do, the decidedly French music we all know and loathe picks up, and the booing picks up with it.

Howard Finkel: “And their opponents, at a total combined weight of 638 pounds, the team of Lucille LaChienne and the World Tag Team champions, Sylvan Grenier and René Dupree, La Résistance!”

Lucille is waving the French flag as her teammates march to the ring with matching robes, berets, and belts. In the ring, they pose as Lucille waves the flag some more. Everyone deposes of their extracurriculars, and the belts are handed over to referee Jim Corderis. He holds all three up high before handing them to the timekeeper, and the bell rings.

Four Corners Elimination match for both the Women’s Title and the World Tag Team Titles: René Dupree, Sylvain Grenier, and Lucille LaChienne vs. Sting, Chris Harris, and Alexis Laree vs. Joey Matthews, Chris Matthews, and Jackie Gayda vs. Booker T, Scott Hall, and Stacy Keibler (Dupree, Grenier, and Laree your champions)

The Matthewses and Jackie triple-team Hall right off the bat as the ref tells Booker and the others to leave the ring. Joey and Chris send Hall into the ropes, but they miss a double clothesline, and Hall uses his own momentum to bowl over Jackie. Hall clotheslines both guys on the rebound, then grabs Jackie before she can leave the ring. He sets her up and delivers the Razor’s Edge to her. He quickly tags in Stacy, who races over and covers Jackie. The three-count follows easily.

Stacy Keibler (1’57 pin) Jackie Gayda

Joey Matthews, Chris Matthews, and Jackie Gayda eliminated

Dupree and Grenier both race in as Lucille distracts the ref and Dupree grabs Stacy. Dupree lifts Stacy up onto Grenier’s shoulders, and the two execute the Au Revoir. Grenier covers as Dupree knocks both Booker and Hall off the apron, and the ref counts a second three.

Sylvain Grenier (3’16 Au Revoir -> pin) Stacy Keibler

Booker T, Scott Hall, and Stacy Keibler eliminated

Harris jumps into the ring and fires off chops on Grenier. He sends him into the ropes and hits him with a lariat on the way out. Grenier gets up quickly, but Harris suplexes him and covers for two. Harris backs Grenier into the corner, but Dupree races over to tag himself in. Harris hiptosses Grenier, only to have Dupree race over and clothesline him down. Dupree gets a spinebuster on Harris for two.

Grenier tags in as Dupree holds Harris in an abdominal stretch, and Grenier kicks Harris in the ribs. He covers for two. Grenier slugs away at Harris before winding up and delivering a short-arm clothesline. He tags Dupree back in, then slams Harris down. Dupree stands over Harris, dances, bounces off the ropes, and hits a diving elbow. He covers for two. Dupree picks Harris up and delivers an inverted atomic drop before bouncing off the ropes and trying a clothesline. Harris catches a charging Dupree and drops him throat-first on the top rope. Both men crawl to their corners, and Sting and Grenier enter.

Sting cleans house, nailing both Frenchmen before ramming their heads together. He gives Grenier an atomic drop to back him into the corner. Sting charges in and connects with the Stinger splash. Dupree charges, but Harris catches him in the Catatonic. Laree demands in, and Sting obliges. Laree grabs Grenier, races up the turnbuckle, and delivers the LareeDT. However, as the ref escorts Sting out, Lucille sneaks in and gets a German suplex with bridge on Laree. The ref turns around and counts it, and that’s enough for a three.

Lucille LaChienne (9’31 German suplex -> pin) Alexis Laree

Sting, Chris Harris, and Alexis Laree eliminated

René Dupree and Sylvain Grenier remain World Tag Team champions

Lucille LaChienne wins her second Women’s Championship

Jim Ross: “Dammit! Lucille wasn’t even legal in the match, and now she’s going to rob Sting and rob Chris Harris, and most of all rob poor Alexis Laree of the chance to be champions!”

Dallas Page: “Hey, all’s fair in love and WrestleMania, and what we just saw was a manifestation of that. It’s all about being in the right place at the right time on the big stage, and that’s how Lucille has become a 2-time, 2-time, 2-time Women’s Champion!”

Jim Ross: “I know, I know all about her championship pedigree, but this is uncalled-for!”

We switch feeds to the SmackDown! table.

Michael Cole: “Well, folks, it appears the World Tag Team titles have found their home from among four teams, and in a few minutes, the same will be said for the WWE Tag Team Titles, although SmackDown has its own way of doing things.”

Jim Cornette: “No kidding, Michael Cole, it’s gonna be a four-way SuperCage throwdown with the current champs Team JAPAN facing all of Team Angle as well as Team Mexico! I can’t wait! This is going to be amazing.”

Michael Cole: “And now, let us remind you of what you can expect from this match, as we look back on what happened in Madison Square Garden in just this environment one year ago.”

We get a set of highlights from last year’s SuperCage event, with emphasis on Ultimo, Tajiri, Rey, Haas, and Shelton. We include the commentary, which boils down to Tazz and Cole screaming at various moments. As Kidman hits the double gainer off the top, the tape slows down and we hear a single heartbeat as he flies through the air - making the whole thing seem like something in bullet-time from a video game. We end with Kidman and Rey holding the belts aloft as Cole calls the match “like nothing I’ve ever seen before!”

We return with the cage in place, and the titles hanging above it. We see the belts from the center of the ring, looking up through the intersecting bars. We can barely make out the Hell in the Cell (to be used later on) past it, but no need: this is about the WWE Tag Team Titles.

Howard Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following is SuperCage II for the WWE Tag Team championships!”

“Medal” plays throughout the Staples Center as the crowd boos and begins their You Suck chant. All of Team Angle emerges at the same time.

Howard Finkel: “Introducing first, making their way to the ring, at a total combined weight of 485 pounds, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin, the World’s Greatest Tag Team! Also heading to the ring, at a total combined weight of 515 pounds, Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle, the National Champions!”

As the group enters the cage, Haas and Shelton immediately get in the face of Kurt. The camera picks up that the two are basically not going to stand aside for him. Kurt mouths back, this time with Brock backing him up, but just before the four men are about to trade blows, VIVA GUERRERO is heard, leading into the Mexican trumpet blasts and mariachi music of Eddie Guerrero, who along with Rey Misterio heads to the ring.

Howard Finkel: “At a total combined weight of 363 pounds, the team of Eddie Guerrero and Rey Misterio!”

Both men wait on the outside, wary of a possible 4-on-2 attack. The Japanese flute music plays as Paul Heyman leads his charges to the ring to a sound ovation. Eddie is the clear favorite of everyone in the match, however.

Howard Finkel: “Accompanied by their manager Paul Heyman, at a total combined weight of 362 pounds, the WWE Tag Team Champions, Ultimo Dragon and Tajiri, Team JAPAN!”

Ultimo and Tajiri enter behind Eddie and Rey as all four step into the cage. Team Angle faces them, and the two sides have a standoff. After a few feints by both sides, they charge to the center of the ring.

SuperCage Match for the WWE Tag Team titles: Team JAPAN (champions) vs. National Champs (challengers) vs. Team Mexico (challengers) vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team (challengers)

Eddie and Rey charge into stereo overhead suplexes from the NCs, while Team JAPAN get dropkicks. Tajiri sends Haas into a corner and nails a karate rush in the corner, while Kurt tosses Eddie into the cage. Brock makes the first climbing attempt, but Ultimo stops him and knocks him off the ropes. Ultimo now climbs, but Eddie chases him and they fight on the top rope. Haas trips both of them, crotching them, but Brock flings Haas with a release German suplex. Meanwhile, Rey walks the ropes and ranas Ultimo off of them. Eddie recovers and climbs again, but his attempt to walk on the crossbar fails and he crashes into Kurt.

Shelton makes the next move, but Tajiri follows and the two fight near the top. Tajiri hooks Shelton’s shoulders and flips over the cage top, hooking a Tarantula atop the cage on Shelton. As he holds it, Rey climbs. Rey ranas Shelton out of the Tarantula as Tajiri flips to the floor, landing on his feet. Tajiri climbs back to the top, but Brock meets him and overhead suplexes him back to the mat. Eddie gets a series of vertical suplexes on Haas and goes up, but Kurt pops up and hits a German off the ropes to send them both back down, rolling it and finishing the trilogy. At the same time, Ultimo tries a climb and makes the corner, but Brock follows him up. Ultimo blocks him and Tornado DDTs him back to the mat.

Meanwhile, Shelton and Rey climb adjacent sides and begin to crawl to the center. They reach at about the same time and begin to slap fight to get each other away. Shelton wins that and sends Rey to the mat, but Shelton loses his balance and winds up hanging from the bar by his hands. Eddie grabs on underneath him, pulling him to the mat with a flapjack. Kurt now tries to climb, but Tajiri is close behind him. Kurt kicks Tajiri to the mat, then turns and tries to moonsault him from the cage. He misses. Haas attempts to climb, but Heyman grabs his foot from the outside as Haas in on the ropes. Eddie leaps at Haas and gets a release German suplex to send him back.

Rey goes all the way to the top, but sees Kurt and Shelton double-teaming Tajiri. Sensing a golden opportunity, he dives off, connecting with a CORKSCREW 810 PLANCHA on all three! With half the field wiped out, Haas and Eddie try to climb, but they meet at the top of the cage. Eddie wins a slugfest to send Haas back to the mat, then dives off with the frog splash onto him. As he gets to his feet, Ultimo hits the Asai DDT on Eddie. Ultimo and Brock climb to the top, and up there they begin to fight it out.

All of a sudden, Scott Colt races in from the back and climbs where Brock and Ultimo are. He grabs Brock, and together, Ultimo and Colt shove Brock to the mat. Colt shakes hands with Ultimo, but instead of letting go, he pulls Ultimo to the top and FLINGS HIM OFF THE CAGE INTO THE CROWD! Colt climbs down and heads to the back, taking time to pieface Heyman down.

Back in the cage, Rey climbs to the top and tries to move to the center, but Kurt shakes the cage and Rey crotches himself on the crossbar. Kurt follows, sitting on the cage edge and grabbing Rey’s leg, giving him an anklelock on the top of the cage. Tajiri follows and sprays Kurt with green mist, causing him to drop Rey to the mat and dangle upside-down from the cage wall. Tajiri tries to hop up, but Kurt rights himself and tosses Tajiri matward, where he lands on Haas and Shelton.

Eddie, Brock, and Kurt are now all on top, and all three head to the middle, hand over hand like on monkey bars. Eddie pulls himself up first, but Brock soon follows. Both men stand near the center, feet on different bars. Eddie reaches up for the belts, but Brock grabs Eddie over his shoulders. As Kurt pulls himself up, Brock gives Eddie an F-5 OFF THE CROSSBARS ON TOP OF THE CAGE! With Kurt now alone on top, he balances himself and carefully removes the belts to get the win.

Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle (15’24 retrieval) win match

Angle (3rd reign) and Lesnar (2nd) are new WWE Tag Team Champions

Michael Cole: “What a match, but what a story! I’m not going to say Kurt and Brock didn’t earn it, but... you gotta wonder what would’ve happened if it hadn’t been for Scott Colt screwing Ultimo Dragon and nearly ending his career!”

Jim Cornette: “Hey, let’s focus on the positive here, Michael Cole! We have new tag team champions, and they are the very deserving team of Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar! And furthermore, Paul Heyman got screwed -- which is just what he finally deserves!”

Michael Cole: “But why? Why did Scott Colt do it?”

Before we can get an answer, we head backstage, where Evolution is arguing about the I-C title match. As they try to get it out of their system, Mattitude walks into the frame.

Matt Hardy: “Trouble in paradise, boys?”

Chris Benoit: “Hey, why don’t you mind your own business, Matt. You still got a title to defend against the Royal Rumble champion. You know, the guy you were trying to avoid?”

Matt Hardy: “What? Are you implying I’m scared of him? Please. I don’t scare easily like that. Besides, he’s one man. You’re one to talk about challenges. You’ll never survive Shawn Michaels AND Chris Jericho.”

Chris Benoit: “I’ve gone sixty minutes without breaking a sweat. Who are you to tell me what’s a challenge?”

Matt Hardy: “If you’re so confident, I guess I’ll see you tonight for a celebration, champ.”

Chris Benoit: “If you get that far.”

Matt Hardy: “Don’t you worry about me. Take care of yourself. C’mon, boys.”

Mattitude walks off. Evolution stare as they go by and shake their heads. We head back to ringside, where Jim Ross and DDP are.

Jim Ross: “It looks like the World Heavyweight Champion is really confident, Page.”

Dallas Page: “Hey, to be a champ, you have to be confident. You have to be willing to believe you can beat anything and everything thrown your way. But don’t forget, Jimbo, tonight’s the ending, but also the beginning. Whoever wins that match is going to have challengers to deal with from all over -- Randy Orton, Christian, the guy he doesn’t beat in his match...”

BOOM! Red pyro goes off and Kane’s quasi-Satanic music begins.

Dallas Page: “Oh yeah, and the winner of this match, too!”

Jim Ross: “You have to think the winner here is in perfect position to get a World Title shot down the line! But for these two, it’s about respect, courage, and fear! Will little Molly face her fear? Or will the Monster make her feel his pain?”

Howard Finkel: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing 326 pounds, KANE!”

Kane slowly walks to the ring and climbs in over the top rope. He raises and lowers his arms, causing pyro to explode from all four turnbuckles. He stares at the entrance, ready for his opponent. He doesn’t have to wait long, as “She’s a Lady” cues his foe’s entrance.

Howard Finkel: “And his opponent, weighing 140 pounds, Molly Holly!”

Molly very slowly walks to the ring, looking for an opening. She gets onto the apron and, instead of climbing in, vaults to the top rope and springboards into a crossbody onto Kane.

Molly Holly vs. Kane

Molly punches away at Kane’s head, landing lefts and rights before Nick Patrick pulls her off. He warns her about a closed fist, but as he does, Kane sits up. Molly bounces off the ropes and throws her full weight at Kane, who barely budges. A second try unsettles Kane. A third body attack knocks him into the corner. Molly sets up Kane’s legs on the ropes and backs up to race in for Shattered Dreams, but Kane grabs her throat as she charges.

Kane steps out of the ropes and chokeslams Molly to the mat. He covers, but picks her up at two. He lifts her over her shoulder, drops her down, and nails her with the Tombstone piledriver. He places one finger on each of Molly’s shoulder blades as the ref counts the three.

Kane (2’56 Tombstone -> pin) Molly Holly

Kane isn’t done, though. He tosses Patrick out of the ring and picks up a dazed Molly. He sets her leaning over the turnbuckle so that her face in the vicinity of the corner post. Kane then raises his arms, but before anything else can happen, Christian races in and clocks Kane with a chair shot to the head.

Christian yells at Kane to “get up and get what you deserve”, and on cue, Kane sits up. Christian winds up a second time, but Kane boots the chair into Christian’s head. Kane picks Christian up and positions the chair on the mat, then threatens to do a Burning Hammer onto the chair. However, Christian wiggles out of it and shoves Kane in the direction of the corner, where Molly leaps off and meets him with a Molly-Go-Round.

Molly and Christian drag Kane to the corner and set his legs up again. This time, Christian stands on the outside, holding Kane’s arms back. Molly charges in and nails Kane with Shattered Dreams. Kane falls out of the corner in pain and rolls to the outside. Christian re-enters, and he and Molly high-five. Christian picks up the chair and begins to leave the ring, but Molly calls out an audible “WAIT!”.

Christian stops by the ropes. Molly slowly moves forward as the camera zooms in. Molly is looking down at her feet, then out at the crowd, hesitant. Finally, she turns and faces Christian.

Molly Holly: “Thank you.”

And with that, she reaches up and kisses him quickly. Christian stares wide-eyed as Molly looks on nervously. Finally, Christian breaks out into a smile and drops the chair. He opens his arms to Molly, who leaps into them in sheer glee. Molly’s music plays again as the two share a big hug and a long kiss.

Jim Ross: “YES! YES! Molly may have lost the battle tonight, but it appears she’s gained something far greater in return!”

Dallas Page: “This is beautiful, Jim! This is most definitely a Good Thing!”

As Christian and Molly hug and wave to the crowd, we at home are taken to highlights from the previous night’s Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

Vince McMahon: “In 1983 we were another territory working the occasional show out of Madison Square Garden. In 1985 we went national on his back, and in 1987 he became a complete icon.”

Roddy Piper: “The battles we had, and the times we’ve been through helped make wrestling what it is today, and without him, there would be no phenomenon like the Hot Rod.”

Edge: “It’s because of him that became a wrestler, and it’s because of him that most of us are able to make a living doing what we love.”

Kurt Angle: “When he told children everywhere to train, to say their prayers, and to eat their vitamins, they did exactly that. He was a man parents could count on to help raise their children right.”

Brock Lesnar: “Even at age 50, he was able to elevate other people by his mere presence. A victory over him was the seal of approval that you were a superstar, not just a star.”

Vince McMahon: “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the sole member of the Hall of Fame Class of 2005, the immortal Hulk Hogan!”

Hogan emerges from the back as “Real American” plays. The crowd in the auditorium is going ballistic as the camera pans out to show hundreds of people wearing the red and the yellow. Hogan appears legitimately choked up.

Hulk Hogan:

“The WWE wasn’t just built on my back. Most importantly, it was built on the backs of all you out there.”

*snip*

“Professional wrestling has exploded in the 20 years since I stepped into Madison Square Garden at WrestleMania I, and it’s you the fans who have made it happen.”

*snip*

“Whether it’s people like Roddy Piper, who provided the antagonist I needed, or people like Edge, who will always keep the dream alive, I know the WWE and professional wrestling is a group effort, and it will always be in good hands.”

*snip*

“And whatcha gonna do when millions and millions of wrestling fans run wild all over you!?”

He leaves to a massive HOGAN chant as red and yellow confetti falls from the ceiling. As we return to the arena, we head backstage where Josh Matthews is standing by with Scott Colt.

Josh Matthews: “Scott Colt... we know what happened out there. But why did you do it?”

Scott Colt: “Why? Because for too long, I’ve been the other guy. For too long, I’ve had to sit back and see Paul Heyman place all this emphasis on Team JAPAN and on Minoru. If he thinks Japanese guys are so much better, I must be his token Yankee. Well, I ain’t anyone’s token anything. Paul, you can go bring in all the Japs you want now. I’m not your stepping stone, and I’m not going to be ignored ever again. I have...”

Colt is interrupted when he gets nailed in the face by an off-camera superkick. Ultimo Dragon steps into the picture, his face bloodied and his mask torn down to its base. He grabs the mic from Matthews and speaks on-camera for the first time ever.

Ultimo Dragon: “Scott, you are disgrace to wrestling name! You will pay for transgression!”

We cut back to ringside.

Michael Cole: “Well, Jim, I gotta say that it appears Scott Colt has a few issues out there.”

Jim Cornette: “The man has every right to have a chip on his shoulder! He was pushed aside for some fancy new thing! The man took Kurt Angle to the limit in his first WWE match, and he deserved better than fourth wheel! Paul Heyman just proves what an idiot he is by doing th...”

The lights go out. Gregorian chanting fills the arena. A dozen druids emerge from the back, all carrying their torches. They line the aisle as the chanting ends. A single gong is heard, followed by another. Lightning strikes the stage as a wall of flame goes up. Out from behind it stand Pain, Suffering, and the Creature of the Night. They step out, the Creature to the front, Pain to one side, and Suffering to the other. Pain and Suffering make the UT kneel pose, while the Creature gets on her knees, facing the stage, and holding the urn on high.

Slowly, the Undertaker rises up from beneath the stage. As he reaches level ground, he raises his arms and his Army gets to their feet. All four slowly move to the ring, but at the end of the ramp, Undertaker stops. His minions also stop, and the druids slowly surround him. Undertaker points to the ceiling and slowly lowers his arm as the Hell in a Cell lowers as well, slowly heading to the ground.

When the Cell gets halfway down, the Creature screams in surprise. Undertaker, Pain, and Suffering all look up as the camera pans over to show Billy Kidman standing atop the Cell as it lowers from the rafters. Kidman winds up and leaps from about Tron height, hitting a Double Shooting Star Press that knocks over everyone on the outside. Referee Jim Molineaux, who knows a thing or two about bloodbaths, immediately calls for the bell.

HELL IN A CELL: Undertaker vs. Billy Kidman

Kidman begins tossing Druids left and right before picking Taker up and kicking him repeatedly in the groin. With Taker incapacitated, Kidman grabs his hair and tosses him into the side of the Cell. Taker is already bloody as Kidman grinds his face into the cage. He tries slamming it in again, but Taker blocks and picks Kidman up in a press slam, flinging him into the Cell wall. Taker drags Kidman over to the door and opens it, but Kidman goes low again and slams the door into Taker’s head. As Taker reels, Kidman climbs back up, but Taker regains his bearings and follows.

On top of the Cell, Kidman stomps on Taker’s hands to try to get him to fall, but Taker pulls himself up. Kidman tries to rub Taker’s face into the mesh floor, but Taker shoves Kidman aside. He gets up and punches away on Kidman, knocking him to the center of the roof (which is divided into 9 mini-panels, 3x3). Taker picks Kidman up by the throat and goes for the chokeslam, but Kidman kicks him in the gut and lands on his feet. He pounds away on Taker before getting a dropkick to floor the Taker. Kidman jumps onto Taker and delivers a series of UFC punches before picking Taker up. He points to the edge and walks Taker over by the hair, but Taker halts and Kidman nearly sends himself over.

Kidman charges back, but runs straight into a big boot from Taker. Taker picks Kidman up in the center of the cell and signals for the powerbomb, but Kidman reverses in mid-air and slams Taker’s face into the cage. Kidman rolls Taker over to the edge, but he can’t push him off. Kidman takes a step back as Taker sits up. Taker stalks to Kidman, who tries to maintain charging distance. Taker stops and grabs the middle cell of the roof and, with one tug (and some special effects), yanks it clean out of the structure.

Kidman immediately climbs down and waits for Taker to follow, but Taker instead walks to the edge and flings the chunk of roof onto Kidman’s head. Taker climbs down and picks the fencing up, jamming it repeatedly into a prone Kidman. Taker tosses the fence aside and picks up a bloody Kidman. He sends him headfirst into the side of the Cell before opening the door and climbing in. As Kidman crawls in behind him, Taker grabs a chair from beneath the ring.

Taker waits for Kidman to stand up before waffling him the chair. Taker picks Kidman up and rolls him into the ring. Taker stands on the top rope and waits for Kidman to get up. Taker goes for Kane’s diving clothesline, but Kidman catches Taker in a Divorce Court instead, jamming the arm. Kane grabs the chair from outside and returns, pounding Taker around the head with it. He backs Taker into the corner and climbs up, trying for the ten-punch countalong. But, as is usually the case, Taker grabs his opponent and walks out with a powerbomb try. This time, though, Kidman flips over in a rollup for two.

Taker picks Kidman up by the throat and lifts him high in the air, chokeslamming him onto the mat. He covers, but Kidman thrusts the shoulder up at two. Undertaker walks Kidman over to where the chair is and gives the cut-throat signal. Taker picks Kidman up, but Kidman drops behind Taker and shoves him into the corner. Taker rebounds, and Kidman hooks the arms, nailing the Unprettier on Taker on the chair. He doesn’t cover, however, instead looking up.

Kidman drags Taker to the center of the ring. He takes the chair, leaves the ring, walks out the door, and tosses the chair onto the roof. He climbs the Cell as Taker remains motionless in the ring. Kidman grabs the chair and stand on the edge of the hole that Taker ripped in the roof. He holds the chair and leaps, hitting a chair-assisted Shooting Star Press...

...on no one, as Taker barely rolls out of the way and Kidman slams headfirst into the chair and mat. Kidman bounces onto his back as both men remain motionless. Taker tries to do a pushup, but only gets halfway up before collapsing, barely draping an arm on Kidman. It’s enough, though, because Kidman isn’t getting up from that bump.

The Undertaker (15’54 last gasp pin) Billy Kidman

Undertaker moves to 12-0 at WrestleMania

Michael Cole: “Unbelievable! The Undertaker moves to 12-0, but... he didn’t win this. He survived it.”

Jim Cornette: “I gotta give all the credit in the world to Billy Kidman here; he did everything he could to put away the Taker because he knew it would take the spectacular to win. You’re right, Michael Cole. Kidman could’ve easily won this match, and the Undertaker’s aura has to be diminished by this match.”

Undertaker is helped out of the ring by his Army of Darkness. Pain and Suffering carry him to the back as the Creature holds the urn up, leading the way. As the Cell rises, we stay in the ring. Molineux checks on Kidman, who slowly rolls over. He refuses Molineux’s help, instead pulling his bloody body to his feet. Kidman’s music plays as the crowd offers him a standing ovation on his way to the back.

***HALFTIME***

Edited May 2, 2005 by Dukes

[Blehschmidt]

Well Then.....

AWESOME CARD SO FAR

I may not be personally happy with some of the results (coughALEXIScough), but everything has been well written and damn enjoyable.

Can't wait for the rest!

[Kwanzabot]

:/ AWESOME SO FAR DUKES! Shame about the Kidman loss but I suppose you had to keep the Taker streak alive.

[Guest Majick]

Wow. Ultimo bumping into the crowd, Kidman going suicidal, Brock's insane F-5...

You know how to pack a card full of Holy Shit moments, don't you?

I guess so long as the rest of the card lives up to this, there'll be no complaints, just one seriously crippled roster

[The Third Dukes]

Screw it, we've come this far...

*****

Jim Ross: “I tell ya, Page, we’ve seen some gutsy performances so far tonight, but I gotta think that that last one is one we’ll remember for a long time.”

Dallas Page: “I gotta disagree. On any other night, it would be the biggest thing going, but guess what, Jimbo... we’re just gettin’ started. This night ain’t over yet.”

Jim Ross: “That’s very true, and folks, up next is a match with three warriors all shooting for one goal. It’s Shawn Michaels, Chris Benoit, and Chris Jericho, and the World Title goes to the victor.”

VIDEO PACKAGE ALERT! We open with Benoit tossing Jericho into the glass chamber at Survivor Series and stealing the pin and the title. From there, you cut to the Wheel of Death spinning and coming up Iron Man match. We go to the last minute, seeing the 1-0 scoreline, when Jericho pulls out the Dragon suplex. The refs check the replay, and whoops, it’s a double pin and therefore 2-1 to Benoit. From there, a shot of King of the Ring tournament highlights, featuring Michaels defeating all three members of Evolution in the run-up to the final as Benoit looks on in disgust. The final is Jericho and Michaels, and just as JR talks about how they’ve been going for over half an hour, they superkick each other and both are out. Just as Bischoff is about to give Benoit the night off, Rock races in and makes the triple threat match, with no DQ, countout, time limit, or interference. Bischoff then closes the loophole by making sure to note that a tie goes to the champion. We see clips of each of the three men in late stages of long matches as JR prattles on about their stamina. This takes us to the final view of all three men staring each other down.

Howard Finkel: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the triple threat match for the World Heavyweight Championship! In this match, there will be no disqualification, no countout, and no time limit. All non-official personnel have been banned from ringside, and in case of a tie result, the champion shall retain.”

Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two! One! Zero! C’mon, Jericho, you know I got ya. Yeah... break the walls DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!

Howard Finkel: “Introducing first, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, weighing 231 pounds, Y2J Chris Jericho!”

Jericho heads to the ring, pausing on the apron and looking out into the crowd. He enters the ring and poses for the fans. “Sexy Boy” starts up as the crowd continues their cheering.

Howard Finkel: “From San Antonio, Texas, weighing 225 pounds, the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels!”

Shawn enters the ring and hits his pose as the wall of pyro goes off behind him. He and Jericho shake hands and turn to face the entrance way. In a nod to the past, “Whatever” actually plays as Benoit walks out, getting his arm and neck muscles loose along the way.

Howard Finkel: “And from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing 220 pounds, the World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Benoit!”

Benoit enters the ring and pulls on the ropes to stretch some more. He then removes the belt and hands it to Earl Hebner. Hebner holds the belt on high as all three men circle each other. Hebner calls for the bell.

World Heavyweight Title match: Chris Benoit (champion) vs. Chris Jericho (challenger) vs. Shawn Michaels (challenger)

Benoit charges Jericho and clubs him into the ropes, sending him for the ride and hitting a back body drop. He bounces off the ropes and nails a lightning legdrop before turning to Michaels. Michaels and Benoit lock up, and Michaels gets a headlock. He hangs onto it, but Jericho gets back up and slugs Michaels, who instinctively releases the headlock. Benoit chops Jericho down as a thank-you, but Michaels catches Benoit from behind. Benoit gets a standing switch, but Michaels flips over the top of Benoit and gets an atomic drop, causing Benoit and Jericho to collide. Michaels rolls Benoit up for two. Michaels stomps away on Benoit, but Jericho recovers and backs Michaels into the corner.

He tries for ten punches, but Benoit catches him from behind with Splash Mountain. Michaels rockets out of the corner and gives Benoit the jumping neck snap, landing on Jericho for good measure. Michaels covers, but so does Benoit, forcing Michaels to lift Jericho up at one. Michaels and Benoit chop each other, which Benoit wins. He sends Michaels into the ropes, but Jericho catches Michaels on the rebound with a spinebuster. Jericho turns around and walks into a lariat from Benoit. Benoit picks Jericho up for a suplex, but Michaels spears down Benoit and everyone falls into a pile. Jericho and Michaels cover Benoit, but Jericho breaks it up.

Jericho tosses Michaels out of the ring and focuses on Benoit, backing him into the corner and chopping him down. He sends Benoit into the opposite turnbuckle and hits a corner clothesline. Benoit staggers out, so Jericho hooks the full nelson to get the Flashback. Benoit gets a mule kick instead, though, and pulls Jericho into a belly-to-belly throw across the ring. Benoit follows up by grabbing Jericho and getting a snap suplex. He goes to a front chancery and hangs on, but Michaels returns to the ring and grabs Benoit’s legs, delivering a wheelbarrow suplex on him to throw him into the corner.

Michaels turns to Jericho and gets a flying jalapeño on him to knock him down. He charges Benoit and goes for a monkey flip, but Benoit hangs onto the ropes and Michaels lands on his back. Benoit climbs to the top rope, but Jericho retuns and crotches him. Jericho follows him up to the top, but Michaels sneaks in beneath Jericho. The result is a stack superplex on Benoit. Michaels gets up first and picks Jericho up, throwing him over the ropes before grabbing Benoit. Unfortunately, Jericho skins the cat back in and slams Benoit’s and Michaels’ heads together. He ties Benoit into the ropes before whipping Michaels in a back body drop attempt. Instead, though, Michaels leaps over and barrels into Benoit, sending both men over the top right by the announce table (all of which have been cleared).

Michaels pounds on Benoit and picks up a nearby monitor from the table. He winds up, but Jericho grabs it from his hands. Jericho slams it into Michaels’ head, then Benoit’s. He picks Michaels up and sets him on the near-side announce table. Jericho heads to the top rope and attempts a flying elbow on Michaels, but Benoit yanks Michaels out of the way and Jericho crashes through the table on his own. Benoit returns Michaels to the ring and follows.

Benoit comes up behind Michaels and hits a German suplex. He hangs on, rolls through, and connects with a second German suplex. He hangs on again, rolling through, and scores with a third German suplex. Not satisfied, though, he pulls Michaels up and delivers a fourth German suplex. He rolls through one last time and delivers a fifth German suplex, holding the bridge this time. Somehow, Michaels kicks out at two. Benoit sees this and is furious. He traps Michaels and gives him a dozen headbutts to knock him down, then gives the cut-throat and climbs the far turnbuckle for the diving headbutt. Unfortunately, now Jericho is up and climbs to the apron. Benoit and Jericho chop it out for a while before Jericho catches Benoit and flings him off the top rope through the far announce table.

Jericho returns to the ring and sees Michaels is still down, so he goes for a Lionsault. However, Michaels gets his knees up. Michaels gets an atomic drop on Jericho, then switches it to a back suplex. Both men are down, but Michaels kips up. He races to the top rope, but Jericho kips up as well. Michaels dives, but Jericho catches him in a powerslam. It gets two. Jericho pounds away on Michaels’ back, trying to neutralize him, before sending him into the ropes. Benoit is about to get up and winds up pulling the rope down, sending Michaels over the top but onto the apron. Jericho bounces off the opposite ropes and nails Michaels, who flies off the apron through the middle (and final) announce table.

Jericho suplexes Benoit back into the ring and covers. He gets two. Jericho pulls Benoit up and tries for a spinebuster, but Benoit flips over the top and gets a rollup for two on Jericho. Benoit chops Jericho into the corner, then sends him into the opposite corner with force. Jericho staggers out into a Crippler Crossface from Benoit. Jericho tries to fight it, but he can’t. He rolls over, but Benoit rolls through with it, putting Jericho mid-ring. Just when it seems Jericho is about to tap, Michaels flies in with the diving elbow to break the hold.

Michaels picks Jericho up and fires away as Benoit rolls out of the ring. Jericho goes for the ride, and Michaels catches him with a dropkick. Jericho is out on his feet, so Michaels hooks a fisherman’s suplex. It gets two. Jericho rakes Michaels’ eyes as they both get up. Jericho then trips Michaels and puts on the Walls of Jericho. Michaels fights for the ropes before deciding to grab Jericho’s previously-injured leg. Jericho falls over, and Michaels reverses to a Sharpshooter. However, Benoit returns to the ring and clocks Michaels with a beltshot, and Jericho re-reverses to the Walls. Benoit grabs Michaels’ head and arm in the Crossface, but Michaels refuses to submit. Jericho looks over his shoulder and sees the Crossface, forcing him to break both his and Benoit’s hold.

Jericho grabs Benoit and pounds on his back before hooking the full nelson. Benoit blocks the Breakdown, so Jericho uses his momentum to get a release dragon suplex. Jericho crawls over, but Michaels pulls him off at two. Michaels grabs Jericho and tries a German suplex, but Jericho falls on top and hooks the leg for two. Jericho gets up, but Benoit backslides him. It only gets two as well. Benoit tries a German suplex on Jericho, but Michaels joins in with a chain German.

Michaels goes to the corner and begins to cue up the band, waiting for either man to get up. Benoit is up first, so Michaels shuffle steps in, but Benoit catches the leg, trips Michaels, and applies the Sharpshooter. Jericho climbs to the top rope as the ref checks on Michaels and dives, blasting Benoit in the back of the head with the belt. Benoit crashes to the mat, and Jericho picks Michaels up and throws him into the corner. Michaels staggers out as Jericho nails a faceplant on him. Jericho picks Benoit up and back suplexes him to the mat before walking over and covering with one foot while flexing. At two, though, Michaels re-appears and blasts Jericho with a superkick. Michaels staggers over and falls on Jericho, and Benoit is a split second too late in breaking it up as Hebner makes it to three.

Shawn Michaels (29’28 Sweet Chin Music -> pin) Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit

Michaels wins 2nd World Heavyweight title and 5th recognized heavyweight championship

Jim Ross: “Oh my God! Shawn Michaels! Shawn Michaels is back on top of the mountain! After lasting a half-hour in a war with Jericho, after fighting through all of Evolution, he stands tall at WrestleMania!”

Dallas Page: “The Heartbreak Kid is a prime-time player, no doubt about it, Jim. He came to play at WrestleMania, and it looks like he’ll once again be remembered for a show-stealing performance.”

Jim Ross: “Shawn Michaels has now proven he belongs in any discussion of the greatest of all time. To be able to do what he has done is nothing short of amazing.”

Dallas Page: “Unbelievable indeed, Jim. How do you follow this?”

Jim Ross: “Well, I... I can’t say it’ll be a successful following, but certainly there is a way. Ladies and gentlemen, up next a pair of lifelong wrestling men from wrestling families square off. The Rock was a successful champion at such a young age. Randy Orton wants to prove he is the next big thing. Does the Rock still have it after a year-long layoff? Time will tell.”

We get the Rock/Orton “Warriors” movie trailer in its entirety, but at the finish, we cut to RNN, where Orton is clinking the bottles in Rock’s face (identical to the finish of the trailer). From there, we see clips of Rock’s movie career played over Orton’s comments about Rock abandoning wrestling for Hollywood. This leads to a montage of Rocky Maivia highlights, complete with requisite “DIE ROCKY DIE” sign in the back. We go to the staredown and shots of brawling, ending with Orton’s You Were / I Am statement. It’s Rock. It’s Orton. It’s next.

Evolution’s music hits again as Randy Orton smugly walks to the ring amidst a shower of boos. He shakes his head before posing on the apron.

Howard Finkel: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing 265 pounds, Randy Orton!”

Orton gets checked out by Tim White before waiting in the corner for the inevitable ear-shattering pop. As soon as “IF YA SMELL” hits, he gets it. Rock wanders out from the back.

Howard Finkel: “His opponent, from Miami, Florida, weighing 275 pounds, The Rock!”

Rock marches to the ring and gets on the turnbuckle, raising his arm in the air and smelling the electricity or something. He does this to all four corners, but on the fourth, Orton attacks.

Randy Orton vs. The Rock

Orton clubs Rock’s back and sends him into the ropes, hitting a clothesline on the way out. He backs Rock into the corner and punches away at him, but Rock reverses it and lands his own rights, culminating in a spit punch to send Orton over and out. Rock follows on the outside and slams Orton’s head into the railing before bringing him back in. He continues using right hands on Orton, sending him for the ride and getting a belly-to-belly suplex. Rock stalks over Orton, pulling him in for the Rock Bottom, but Orton elbows out and kicks away at Rock’s leg.

He backs Rock into the ropes and picks his leg up, trying for a dragon screw. Rock grabs the ropes to block, but Orton clips Rock on his way back up. Orton applies a spinning toehold on Rock, grabbing the ropes for help. Rock hangs on until White notices the ropes and orders a break. Orton lifts Rock’s leg up and slams it onto the canvas. He goes to a Stretch Muffler, hanging on until Rock manages to make the ropes. Orton continues kicking away at the leg, dragging Rock to the corner and hooking the leg around the ringpost. He climbs up and gets a ringpost figure-four. Rock screams in agony as White orders a break and gets it (but not before Orton brings back the sit-ups).

Orton returns to the ring and drives his knees into Rock’s leg. He pulls up on the leg in a kneebar, but Rock gives no indications of quitting and Orton breaks. He waits for Rock to pull himself up, then hooks his leg behind Rock’s head and hits the Play of the Day. Orton stomps away on Rock before applying a Tequila Sunrise to Rock. Rock pulls himself closer to the ropes, but just before he gets there, Orton releases and jams Rock’s leg into the mat again.

Orton poses as he stands over Rock. He picks Rock up and backs him into the corner. He hooks Rock’s leg over the ropes and pulls it, hyperextending the knee. White orders a break, so Orton backs off. He comes back in and sends Rock to the opposite turnbuckle. His charge misses, and Rock fires away with rights in the corner. He sends Orton into the ropes, kicks him in the gut, and nails a DDT. He covers for two. Rock picks Orton up and punches away before sending him into the ropes. Orton fires back out with a chop block to Rock’s leg before turning around and applying the figure-four leglock.

Rock yells in pain as Orton demands that Rock tap out. Rock appears to be passing out from the pain, falling flat on his back and getting Orton a two-count. Rock begins to pull his way to the ropes, but Orton scoots him back, then grabs on to the bottom rope on his side just to play it safe. Rock tries to fight off the pain, but he falls on his back for another two-count. Rock tries to reverse, but Orton’s grip makes it difficult. Finally, Rock gets one last boost and turns Orton over. Orton now grabs the ropes to break, and the hold ends.

Orton is up first, but his charge runs straight into a spinebuster from Rock. Rock covers for two. Rock is down, as is Orton, but Rock tries to kip up, only to stumble backwards into the ropes. Orton gets up and arrogantly walks over to Rock, sending him into the ropes and hitting him with a belly-to-belly suplex on the way out. Orton goes back to the legs, trying to tie up a Sharpshooter, but Rock kicks him off. Orton rebounds in, but Rock catches him with a Rock Bottom.

Rock gets to his feet and stands over Orton, kicking his arm. He removes his armpad to the crowd and bounces off the ropes twice. Just before the elbow crashes down, though, Orton trips Rock up and applies an anklelock. He quickly combines it with a leg grapevine as Rock writhes in pain. Rock reaches for the ropes, but they’re way too far away. Finally, Rock is forced to tap out to save his ankle from breaking.

Randy Orton (14’44 anklelock -> sub) The Rock

Jim Ross: “What a statement by Randy Orton tonight! Randy Orton has toppled the biggest name yet! Randy Orton has taken out the Rock, right here in Rock’s place of work -- right here in Hollywood!”

Dallas Page: “Unbelievable, Jim, but not only that: Randy Orton has just salvaged what was otherwise a miserable night for Evolution! They may not have any gold, but they have two bona fide superstars now! Randy Orton, welcome to the top!”

The following preview has been approved for all audiences by World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.

We stand in a subway station. Edge and Matt Hardy face each other. Edge is in all black, while Matt Hardy is in a suit and tie.

Matt Hardy: “So, we meet one more time, Mr. Copeland. I see it is time for your demise.”

Edge: “Never.”

They fight, with both men flying spectacular distances in doing so. Eventually, Hardy pins Edge to the ground and gloats.

Matt Hardy: “Do you hear that, Mr. Copeland? That is the sound of inevitability.”

Edge: “My name... is EDGE!”

Edge sends Matt over the side into the train tracks. He races up the stairs and pulls out a cell phone. He hastily dials as we cut to Ron Killings on the other end, wearing a headset.

Ron Killings: “Operator.”

Edge: “Truth, it’s Edge. You gotta get me to WrestleMania.”

Ron Killings: “Okay, man, follow these instructions.”

As Edge races through back alleys, we see Matt leaping from building to building above him. Edge turns around a corner and sees the Staples Center right in front of him. He races for it, but Matt leaps out of nowhere and lands right in front of Edge. He snaps his fingers, and two more Matts appear beside him. Edge looks at his triplicate foe.

Matt Hardys: “Give up, Mr. Copeland.”

Edge: “I’d rather die.”

Matt Hardys: “That can be arranged.”

All three Matts produce a lead pipe. They throw the three lead pipes simultaneously at Edge, who merely holds up his hand as all three pipes stop in midair. He lowers his hand, and they all fall to the ground. The middle Matt Hardy charges, and he and Edge engage in a blurringly fast martial arts duel. Edge is about to land the final shot to the head when we cut to

WRESTLEMANIA GOES HOLLYWOOD!

From there, we move into a video package for Matt and Edge. We see the finishes for the ladder and TLC matches that established both men as Matt’s voice details how Edge kept getting all the glory. From there, it’s fast-forward to 2003, as we see the surveillance video of Matt blindsiding Edge and breaking his neck with a pipe. We cut forward to Matt stopping the Eddie/Edge match from September, then winning the WWE Title at No Mercy. From there, it’s Matt telling his followers to keep Edge out of the Rumble, but they fail and Edge enters. And wins. Shots of Edge celebrating are interposed with shots of Edge tearing the Hulkamania shirt at Hogan’s ceremony. We cut to Matt blindsiding Edge and piledriving him through the merchandise table in Memphis. Random shots of the two men fighting lead up to Michael Cole and Jim Cornette sound bites hyping the match before we reach the crescendo with the staredown.

Michael Cole: “Here we go, Corny. This is it. This is the main event, and it’s all about pride, all about revenge, all about respect, but most of all, all about the WWE Title.”

Jim Cornette: “It doesn’t come bigger than this. Edge, two years removed from spinal surgery, one year removed from his return, and now, set to quite possibly, join the select few who have won their first ever championship at WrestleMania.”

You think you know me... “Never Gonna Stop” plays over the PA system as the crowd lets out a huge roar. Edge emerges from the back, stopping to yell at either side of the arena before heading to the ring. He is wearing his black trench coat with purple tights and, most interestingly, a Hulk Rules T-shirt. He is noticeably checking out his neck as he heads down the aisle.

Howard Finkel: “The following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the WWE Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, from Toronto, Canada, weighing 240 pounds, Edge!”

Edge slides into the ring and gets up. He allows himself to be checked by Charles Robinson. The Titantron shows a search engine looking for Matt Hardy, Version 1. It loads to 10%, then 30%, but at 70%, the word UPGRADE appears on the screen, and a V2 logo takes up the whole Tron. Matt’s new music plays as he walks to the ring.

Howard Finkel: “His opponent, from Cameron, North Carolina, weighing 225 pounds, the WWE Heavyweight Champion, Matt Hardy!”

Enters the ring and flashes the V-2 signal to the crowd. He gives the belt to Charles Robinson, who holds it up high. Both men circle each other as they wait for the bell to ring. Finally, Robinson calls for the bell.

WWE Heavyweight Title match: Matt Hardy (champion) vs. Edge (challenger)

They lock up. Edge pushes Matt back into the corner and offers a clean break when asked to. Edge tries again on a lockup, getting a side headlock, but Matt shoves him off. Edge runs over Matt on the rebound, then picks him up and hits him with a suplex. Edge covers for one. Edge sends Matt into the ropes and tries a back body drop, but Matt gets a swinging neckbreaker instead. Edge grabs the neck and pounds the mat in pain, so Matt pulls back on Edge’s hair while standing on his back, torquing the neck. Robinson makes Matt break, but the damage is done.

Matt picks Edge up and slams his head into the turnbuckle before setting him up. Matt boxes Edge’s ears with rights and lefts before picking Edge up out of the corner and delivering a brainbuster. Matt pounds on Edge’s neck before picking him up and throwing him over the ropes to the outside. Matt races off the ropes and baseball slides Edge back into the railing. Matt exits as Edge picks himself up, so Matt hops on the rail and runs to Edge, knocking him over with a clothesline. Matt picks Edge up and tosses him headfirst into the steel steps before throwing him back into the ring.

Matt grabs Edge and puts him in a front chancery before slowly turning it into a hangman’s neckbreaker. Edge writhes in pain as Matt poses for the crowd. Matt grabs Edge and delivers a second brainbuster to him. He kicks Edge to the outside, following and grabbing the Hulk Rules shirt along the way. He sneaks up behind Edge and wraps the T-shirt around his neck. Robinson orders Matt to stop, so he does... by yanking the shirt so that Edge falls to the mats on the outside. Matt argues with Robinson as the crowd starts a Hogan chant. Matt yells “Hogan’s dead!” before tossing Edge back into the ring.

Matt stomps away at Edge before applying a camel clutch to Edge. Edge wiggles his way to the ropes, eventually grabbing them. Matt lands more clubbing blows to the back of Edge’s neck before picking him up. He tosses Edge into the ropes, hits the opposite ropes and nails Edge with a clothesline. Matt covers, but only gets two. Matt continues pressuring Edge’s neck with a combination of a chinlock and a knee to the neck. Edge flails about in agony, but makes sure not to tap. Matt releases the hold and drives his knee into the neck and upper back of Edge.

He picks Edge up and tosses him into the ropes, hitting him with the Bossman Slam on the way out. Matt covers, but again it’s only two. Matt gets frustrated and pounds on Edge’s head with closed fists before picking him up and getting a leaping DDT. He covers again, but again he can only get two.

Matt looks on in frustration before telling the ref he thinks Edge can’t continue. As Robinson checks on Edge, Matt removes a turnbuckle from one of the corners. Robinson confirms Edge will continue, so Matt acts indignant and stomps away on Edge. He delivers an X-Factor to Edge, covering and getting only two. Matt heads to the outside and grabs the WWE Title belt. He returns to the ring and makes an exaggerated windup, so Robinson yanks the title away. As Robinson goes to return the belt, Matt slams Edge’s head into the exposed turnbuckle. Edge collapses and Matt covers, but again he can only get two.

Matt picks Edge up and tries a piledriver, but Edge blocks. Matt tries a second time, but Edge gold-bricks it and flops to the mat. Matt drops a knee onto Edge’s neck before rolling him over and covering. It still gets two. Matt shakes in frustration before pounding away on Edge’s head and neck area. He picks Edge up and sends him into a non-exposed corner. Edge staggers back out into a swinging neckbreaker from Matt. Matt then goes to the top and waits for Edge to get up. Edge does, and Matt dives off the top with a Tornado DDT. Matt is out of position and takes too long to cover, and as a result only gets two.

Matt argues the count with the referee, but this allows Edge to crawl from behind and cradle Matt for two. Matt gets really ticked off at this and stomps away at Edge before picking him up in a fireman’s carry. He swings Edge around and drops him with a TKO. He covers, but this time, he picks Edge up at two. He stands over Edge and gives the thumbs down into a cut-throat signal. He grabs Edge, boots him in the gut, and hollers, delivering the Twist of Fate. He then goes to the top rope and dives off, landing an elbow right on Edge’s neck. Matt smiles and indicates it’s over before covering. But this time, Edge dramatically kicks out at two.

Edge begins to stare at Matt intensely. Matt pounds the neck, but Edge merely shakes his head as the crowd begins to get excited. Matt takes another swing, but Edge gets to one knee and lets out a war cry. An exasperated Matt tries a right cross, but Edge is on his feet and shaking his arms back to life, yelling “COME ON! HIT ME!” Matt obliges, and this time Edge stares straight at Matt and points as the crowd yells “YOU~!”

Matt stares at his own hands in disbelief before trying another punch. It’s blocked. Edge nails three right hands before sending Matt for the ride. He bounces off the other side and spears Matt down. Edge signals that it’s over and picks Matt up, but Matt goes low. Matt tries to catapult Edge into the exposed corner, but Edge lands on the second rope and climbs up. He dives off, hitting an unsuspecting Matt with a missile dropkick. Edge picks Matt up and catapults him into the exposed turnbuckle. Matt staggers back out as Edge kicks Matt in the gut and lands the Edgecution DDT. Edge covers, and the whole arena joins in: 1, 2, 3!

Edge (22’03 Edgecution -> pin) Matt Hardy

Edge wins WWE Championship, his first ever recognized world title

Michael Cole: “Unbelievable! Edge is the new WWE Champion! Edge channeled the Hulkamaniacs, much like his idol did before him, to rally from the brink and become the new champion!”

Jim Cornette: “I... I don’t believe it, Michael Cole. Edge looked dead to rights. He had to be gone. I’ve only seen a comeback like that once before... I guess Edge is the big thing right now.”

Michael Cole: “From a fan at ringside at WrestleMania 6 to the Staples Center tonight. A fifteen-year journey has ended in glory for Edge, as he stands alone atop the WWE!”

Edge’s music stops as he looks to the entrance. Christian and Molly Holly emerge from the back, holding hands. Christian holds the ropes open for Molly before climbing in himself. He faces Edge and gives him a huge congratulatory hug before he and Molly raise Edge’s hands. Molly puts the belt on Edge’s waist. Edge falls to his knees in glee.

As he does, “Real American” strikes up and Hulk Hogan emerges from the back in suit and tie. He stands on the stage, not getting any closer. Edge sees him and mouths “thank you” to him. Hulk gives him the thumbs up before telling Edge to stay there. He flexes his arm, then points to Edge. Edge mimes “who, me” back to Hogan, who nods. Edge shrugs...

..then proceeds to pose Hogan style in the ring as fans begin taking pictures and cheering him on.

Michael Cole: “There it is! The last confirmation! Edge’s time in the spotlight is now. He stands alone in the ring, just as his idol has done so many times, and gets to close WrestleMania with the WWE Title in front of adoring fans!”

Jim Cornette: “Listen to this crowd, Michael Cole! They’re loving every minute of it! This is what we will remember from this WrestleMania! Edge officially takes his place alongside his idol, Hulk Hogan, as part of an elite fraternity in professional wrestling! I give you, your WWE Heavyweight Champion, EDGE!”

Michael Cole: “For JR, DDP, Corny, and everyone else here at the Staples Center and in the WWE, this is Michael Cole saying, so long everyone and thank you so much for being a part of history tonight! Edge is the new WWE Champion, and it was at WrestleMania that his dream came true!”

<<<FIN>>>

And that's it. For this season, anyway. But don't close this and move it to Archives and/or the DDHoF just yet. There's still some Virching to do, plus some scenario work before I call it a season. But for now, sleep. Or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Man, a marathon 16 hour booking session over two days closes in spectacular fashion.

Now, where's Troy with a recap when you need him to stall for time?

[Kwanzabot]

Abso-fuckin brilliant!

Sperm-tastic!

Crap-mazing!

What else can I say Dukes? That was sensational.

[Guest Majick]

Tremendous. Great psychology from Orton, and a clean win really makes him seem dangerous. The dissension between Evolution should make for an interesting storyline if you carry this on through another year.

The RAW title match was a well played Triple Threat, and definitely enjoyable. I liked the image of the three men each going through a different announcers table - it showed off the canniness of the workers. The high number of counters spoke to their technique as well. Jericho's cocky cover costing him the match could see a more introspective Y2J in the coming months, while Michaels' previous problems with Evolution - and family ties - should be interesting.

As for the Smackdown main event, I loved how Edge just couldn't be beat, and the mounting frustration Hardy showed throughout the match worked perfectly. The belt/turnbuckle shot was superb, and "Hogan's dead!" made me laugh. The post-match celebration was good, too, with Hogan putting his successor over. I guess the only thing I wonder now is who's going to feud with Edge? Brock & Angle are tied up with the tag belts, and while Hardy is still free for rematches, he's not going to win, is he?

Great card!

[Troy Maskell]

Now, where's Troy with a recap when you need him to stall for time?

[Blehschmidt]

Damn Dukes, I think you may have outdone yourself this time!!!

That was just an awesome show all around, and the two title matches were killer.

The only thing I would have done any different would have been to have Mattitude try and interfere, only to get there asses kicked by Hogan.

Anyway...awesome show, awesome diary....

:thumbsup:

Can't wait for the next season!

[The Third Dukes]

The SmarK Rant for WrestleMania 21 - 04.03.05

I guess this makes Edge a real Canadian...

- The SmarK Rant for WrestleMania 21, Apr. 03 / 05.

- First of all, for reasons no one on God's green earth can fathom, the alumni of RSPW put me in charge of doing end-of-year awards for the WWE. So I sent some emails to a bunch of old friends (and Troy Maskell) to come up with a decent consensus. Thankfully, my vote only changed one outcome, and that outcome was a tie that needed breaking. So here were the results.

SWERVE~!: While there was considerable support for HHH getting fired, I think that becomes more of a "guilty pleasure" than an actual swerve. Plus, is it really a swerve if it wasn't written? Thankfully, though, that wouldn't have won anyway, and instead my boy Benoit's beautiful heel turn at SummerSlam (and subsequent takeover of Evolution) took the award. The sad part is, if this were a Russo universe, it wouldn't have been the surprise it was. HHH's shitcanning did finish second, though, so clearly there's some justice in the world.

MOST IMPROVED: Hard to disagree with those who voted for Randy Orton here, as he went from being a directionless tag-teamer entering WrestleMania 20 to being over enough to merit a program with the Rock entering WrestleMania 21. His weekly interview segment, while no Highlight Reel, provided him the chance to work on his mic skills, and that kind of brute repetition usually pays dividends, as here. Second place was (fittingly enough) a tie between the incoming I-C and US champs, Lance Storm and Ron Simmons, who are probably the least likely champs all year.

WORST IDEA: A bit of a shocker here, as the HHH love triangle fiasco edged out Torrie's NECKLACE OF DOOM in the voting. Not to say it wasn't bad, especially since it led to the burial of two stars of the women's division at the expense of fellating everyone's favorite politician, but at least it didn't use magic, and at least HHH got his come-uppance at the end of the year. Both were solid choices for sheer crap, though.

BEST TALKER/INTERVIEWEE: Orton again, and I have to call this an upset. I mean, sure, having RNN means you'll get heard every week, but Chris Jericho still ran circles around him with the midget Rhyno, the homecoming promo, and most importantly, the big head-to-head right after his return (have we forgotten "Bland Master Flash" already?). Jericho did finish second, though, so my faith is restored somewhat.

BEST GIMMICK: Another Orton vote. Yikes. Well, I won't deny that "You Were / I Am" would look good on T-shirts, and the whole idea of targeting people past their prime (at least they've dropped the "Legend Killer" nickname) is sure to get heel heat. Add in that he got it done against Sting in a thrilling main event, and it's clear that the WWE would be nuts to drop the ball here. Second place went to Roddy Piper, but trust me, kids; that's not a gimmick. That's legitimately Roddy Piper.

BIGGEST MOMENT OUTSIDE A MATCH: This is the one that I had to break the tie of, and really I couldn't go wrong in any of three ways that I could've voted to put over the top. And as if you wanted justification for Orton's Most Improved award, all three segments were RNN. Randy Orton's challenge the Rock absolutely solidified Orton as a future main eventer and made you almost cheer him in how much he legit cared about the business. Speaking of RNN, the Be a Diva segment was very popular, especially with the one female voter I talked to, and showed once again that Rock can act circles around anyone with gusto. But I gave the deciding vote to the Calgary RNN with Shawn Michaels, simply because I was there live and could barely believe what was going on. Orton absolutely played the damn crowd (and nearly started a fucking riot later in the night), and to hear my fellow Canadians cheering SHAWN BLEEPING MICHAELS may be the biggest shock of them all.

HIGHEST QUALITY MATCH: In a landslide, this went to the Benoit/Jericho Iron Man match. Ending was a little screwy, but other than that, they went 60 minutes of sheer singles goodness, teasing everything under the sun. The finish, which I originally panned, actually helped set up WrestleMania, which is incredible foresight if that was the plan all along. Second place, and still worthy, was the Kidman/Rey v. WGTT match from Vengeance, about as pure a tag match as you're going to get.

BIGGEST MARKOUT MATCH: In a close one, this went to Chris Jericho pinning Rhyno in Toronto to become World Heavyweight Champion. Yes, his reign was mildly uneventful, that night was everything HHH wished he could pull off in his comeback-from-injury win in Toronto 2 1/2 years earlier. Bonus points for the near-fall with the Gore, which had everyone I was watching with believing it was over. Second place is another gem: Benoit/Mondo from Unforgiven, which had the old ECW/XPW vampires loving every minute of it and featured the undisputed...

"HOLY SHIT" SPOT OF THE YEAR: Although this might have changed had we voted AFTER WrestleMania, Chris Benoit's powerbomb of Nick Mondo off the TitanTron absolutely took the cake. The camera angle helped, too, as they showed it from overhead live, then took a few replays to really hammer home how dead Mondo was (the by-the-table cam view looked like something out of a demolition crew's video). Simply put, NOTHING in the WWE was topping this, because NO ONE has the balls to do that other than Benoit and Mondo. Second place was a late entry: Matt Hardy's Memphis piledriver on Edge, which capped a brilliant segment on SmackDown!

BEST SHOW:

* 3rd Place -- No Mercy, which featured a beautiful Tag Team Turmoil and the return of the Goblin as well as Matt Hardy's big title win. All very cool moments, and the story told in the Turmoil match really deserved better.

* 2nd Place -- Royal Rumble, which featured one of the best-booked Rumble matches itself ever, as well as solid performances from Benoit/Molly and Eddie/Matt. Loses points for the necklace, but Taker's heel turn and Tombstone to Torrie almost makes it forgiveable. But it didn't even come close to...

* 1st Place -- Armageddon, a surprise entry. HBK and Orton had a solid match with Orton doing everything in his power and HBK squeaking it out. René Dupree's return was well-appreciated, as was Lance Storm's IC title win. Oh yeah, and apparently a couple guys had a really long match, too.

MVP:

* 3rd Place -- Eddie Guerrero, who had a very solid 7-month title reign dispatching of Brock, Kurt, Taker, and Edge before Matt Hardy stopped it. He then came back and had an equally good rematch with Matt, which warrants mentioning. Not quite the blowaway year he had last year, but outstanding nonetheless. Probably better without the belt, oddly enough.

* 2nd Place -- Chris Benoit, whose heel turn set the second half of the WWE into motion with a bang. His Unforgiven match dwarfed an outstanding HIAC match due to its sheer brutality, and the Iron Man match of course ruled all. But it wasn't quite enough to unseat...

* 1st Place -- Chris Jericho, who started the year (remember WM to WM) injured and ended it the hottest property on either show. No mean feat from a guy who seemed forever doomed not to get his way due to bizarre mind-numbing political crap, but then again it was that kind of year all around.

Okay, on with the show.

- Live from Hollywood.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross, Dallas Page, Hugo Savinovich, Carlos Cabrera, Michael Cole, and Jim Cornette. They're all at ringside. That becomes important later.

- Motley Crue performs the theme song. Sadly, Test is not there to prevent a plant from the audience from jumping onstage. Nor is DX around to party with them. Think about this: the sole survivor right now of DX is the ROAD DOGG. Scary.

- Opening match: Hurricane, Ron Simmons, and Rob Van Dam v. Right to Censor. Not a bad choice for the opener, all things considered, and it's good they didn't put SuperCage here (which they could justify by leaving the cage up all afternoon). As a reminder, Stephanie and Steven are handcuffed together, much to both sides' dismay. That wacky Hot Rod. It's a Pier Six brawl to start, of course, and the RTC knock down Simmons only to get smothered by RVD. RVD and Bradshaw start proper, and RVD gets a monkey flip to set up a Hurricane missile dropkick. Steven trips Hurricane despite Stephanie's protests, and Bradshaw levels him to make YOUR comic-book-geek-in-peril. Full nelson sets up Bull's OPENING MATCH SPINEBUSTER for two. Morley with the running knee strikes and Russian legsweep, into an Octopus Hold, but Hurricane gets the ropes. Bradshaw with the Clothesline from Bowlderized Heck for two. Morley goes up, but Stephanie tries to trip him and would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling handcuffs. Moral High Ground gets two as Simmons saves. Rebound lariat by Bull is cut off in midair with a dropkick and Shining Black Wizard Thingy. Hot tag Simmons, who works gets the Angry Man Spinebuster and cleans house. Three-point stance gets two, but Morley saves and it's BONZO GONZO. Heel miscommunication leads to Bull getting sent out and landing on both Steven and Stephanie. Can Stephanie's puppies still be used as a flotation device? Simmons with the top-rope spear on Bradshaw, but Morley interjects only to get reversed. Hotshot, powerslam, and Five-Star finish at 11:28. Absolutely the right call for this match, and it was decent, too. **1/4

- Motley Crue and Steve Austin drink backstage, but Nathan Jones shows up to intimidiate people at random. And someone in the WWE must be reading my mind, because here's Test to save Motley Crue's ass, and that leads to KICK WHAM STUNNER on Jones. Beer for everyone!

- Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm v. Michael Shane. Lance has Dawn Marie, so Shane counters with David Flair. Not even worth a joke, people. Chain wrestling begins, with Shane getting an armdrag but Storm reversing to a cradle for one before going to the headlock. Shane gets to his feet, but Storm maintains. Shane kips up to break and slugs away, but a blind charge misses and Storm gets... wait for it... A HEADLOCK. Shane backdrops him out and Flair distracts the ref, allowing Shane to get a tope con hilo on Storm and Flair. Well, that's no way to thank the hired work. Of course, it's David Flair so I'll overlook it. Storm blocks a whip back in and returns with a neckbreaker, continuing to work on the neck. What, is he gonna use the headlock as a finisher now? Storm stays on him, but Shane reverses to a suplex and fisherman's suplex for two. Storm returns with a thrust kick and knee to the throat, setting up an inverted DDT for two before getting... wait for it... WAIT FOR IT... another headlock! Shane works it for some two-counts, then wiggles out with a superkick for two. A pair of belly-to-belly suplexes and Shane goes up, but his whatever off the top ends in a punch to the face from Storm and a LeRouxde Awakening for two thanks to Flair. Storm protests, so Shane gets a Flair Pin for two. Shane protests now, so Storm gets a German suplex for two. Shane tries the springboard Tornado DDT, but Storm is ready and counters to a Northern Lights suplex and Hennig necksnap for two. FULL NELSON OF DOOM but Shane goes low. DDT gets two for Shane. Superkick try again, but this one nails the ref dead on, and he may be legally dead. Superkick and framed elbow, but, um, the ref, dude. Flair jumps up with the belt, setting off a beautiful sequence: Shane throws Storm to Flair, but Flair is yanked off by Dawn Marie. Shane doesn't know this, though, because he's mouthing to the crowd on the other side of the ring. He finds out pretty quickly when Storm gets a hairpull slam (no ref, remember?). Nice choreography on that spot(s). Dragon sleeper as the ref revives, and Storm makes it the Beast Choke (Al Snow's bodyscissors sleeper) for the tapout at 16:27. Shane let Storm dictate the flow of the match while still doing enough cheating to seem credible, and the neckwork went to a submission. Storm should make the Beast Choker his secondary finisher, really. ***1/2

- Molly Holly and Torrie Wilson meet up, and it's established that Kidman is MIA. As with most things WWE, this becomes important later.

- Double Title: La Résistance v. Dudes with Attitude v. Wild-Eyed Southern Boys v. Team WCW. Booker T does a Spinaroonie during Scott Hall's music, which is an interesting combo. It's also his sole contribution to the match. Hall gets triple-teamed to start, but cleans house and Edges Jackie before allowing Stacy the pin at 1:57. La Res enter and take advantage of Stacy (no, not like that -- that's Test's job), hitting Au Revoir to eliminate her at 3:16. Didn't Hall say on Monday that they shouldn't let Stacy in the match at all? Whoops. And why were these two teams in it, anyway? If you need to put Booker T on the card, have him face someone in a singles bout. Yeesh. Anyway, that gives us a six-person tag as Harris jumps in and attacks Grenier, throwing a lariat and suplex for two. Dupree with a blind tag, and he clotheslines Harris. LE BUSTER DU SPINE DU MAIN EVENT gets two as Harris plays Ricky Morton. Rougeau Kick gets two. Short-arm clothesline by Grenier, and a slam brings in Dupree for THE EXTREMELY FRENCH PEOPLE'S ELBOW~! It gets two. That shit is getting over. Inverted atomic drop, but Harris with a Hotshot. Hot tag Sting, and the DOUBLE NOGGIN-KNOCKER OF DEATH follows. Stinger Splash and Catatonic, and Laree wants to finish. LareeDT, but Lucille gets a German suplex (oh, the irony) to win the Women's title, her second, at 9:31. Would've been better suited as two matches -- a Fatal Four-Way tag and Laree/Lucille II -- because this was a complete car wreck. 1/2*

- SuperCage II: Electric Boogaloo for the WWE Tag Team Titles: Team JAPAN v. Team Mexico v. Team USA v. World's Greatest Team. Team Angle establishes that neither side will be throwing the match -- just each other. Everyone lines up to start, and WE'RE OFF! Mexico gets tossed by USA, while Japan nails World with dropkicks. Yeah, I'm using shorthand, fuck you. Tajiri goes all Bruce Lee on Haas while Eddie eats cage. Brock up first, but Ultimo stops that and tries, but Eddie stops that and they fight on the ropes. Haas sends them both into crotchdom, earning himself a release German suplex. Rey opens the bidding with a ropewalk rana on Ultimo as Eddie recovers. He makes it up, but loses his balance trying to tightrope the bar and lands on Kurt in the process. Shelton next, but Tajiri follows and gives him a Tarantula on the cage. That's an awesome spot. Rey makes it even better by climbing up and nailing rana on Shelton as Tajiri lands safely. He climbs back up, but Brock meets him up there and flings him back in. Eddie gets the rolling verticals on Haas, but his climbing attempt is blocked by rolling Germans from Kurt. Sweet. Ultimo and Brock climb, and Ultimo gets a Tornado DDT on Brock to send him back down as the insanity reaches Phase 2. Shelton and Rey crawl to the center and slap-fight, which Shelton wins. He tries to stand and slips, leaving him hanging around until Eddie grabs him and flapjacks him off. Kurt climbs and disposes of a chasing Tajiri, then gets stupid and tries the moonsault. Dude, it doesn't work when you knock a guy out and try from the ropes, why the hell would it work now? Haas tries, but Heyman stops him and Eddie brings Haas back. Shelton pounds on Tajiri and Kurt joins in, but Rey climbs up and goes ballistic, hitting a double somersault plancha with a 1 1/2 twist (Degree of Difficulty 2.1), which would be spot of the night any other night. And it might not be the spot of the match! Haas and Eddie climb, and Eddie knocks Haas down and frog splashes him, only to bounce up into an Asai DDT. Ultimo and Brock now, but this time Scott Colt emerges, shoves Brock aside... and turns heel, flinging Ultimo into the third row (where, as with last year, the minor leaguers are getting comped). Colt cements the heel turn by shoving Heyman down as Cornette practically applauds. Meanwhile, back in the cage, Rey is up and tries to cross, but Kurt stops that by shaking the cage. An Anklelock on the cage is broken when Tajiri mists Kurt, causing him to drop Rey (who nearly lands on his head!). Tajiri climbs, but Kurt throws him off. Meanwhile, Eddie and Brock climb, and it turns into an American Gladiators-style race with Kurt, Brock, and Eddie all moving hand-over-hand to the middle. Eddie pulls up first, Brock next, and Kurt last, but Brock grabs Eddie and F-5s him off the cage to the mat (ouch) as Kurt wins at 15:24. The whole match seemed to be disjointed, especially compared to last year's. Too many heavyweights, but it does have an Instant Classic feel to it. ****

- The champs meet backstage and claim to be the best. Various underlings growl at each other menacingly.

- Kane v. Molly Holly. Molly knocks Kane down before the bell and punches away, but Kane sits up. Several body attacks knock Kane into the corner, but a Shattered Dreams try... is caught. Oops. Chokeslam, Tombstone, goodnight at 2:56. DUD Okay, that's the match out of the way, so let's get to the angle. Kane tries to burn Molly's face with his pyro, but Christian comes in and whacks him with a chair. Kane sits up, but Kane boots the chair. Burning Hammer on the chair is avoided, and Christian and Molly do a double-team Molly-Go-Round and Shattered Dreams. Christian's about to leave when Molly calls her back and very nervously kisses him. His acceptance is like a weight off her shoulders as she jumps into his arms. Almost a direct tribute to Savage/Liz at WM7, and every bit as cool. Now let's move Molly back to the women's division before Troy goes to Stamford with an AK-47.

- Highlights of Hogan's Hall of Fame ceremony.

- Scott Colt complains about being seen as the fourth wheel as Heyman goes scouting overseas (even dropping a mildly racist term) before Ultimo (his mask and face in tatters) knocks him over and speaks about retribution like some Hong Kong movie reject. Although the fact that Ultimo spoke for himself gets over with Josh Matthews, who does a great bug-eyed sell.

- Hell in a Cell: Undertaker v. Billy Kidman. Undertaker does his usual overblown WrestleMania entrance, complete with druids, Army, and Gangrel-style levitation to the stage. But Kidman one-ups him to infinity by actually being on the cell AS IT IS BEING LOWERED (vertigo anyone?) and doing his double shooting star press from about 50 feet up on the whole Army. Who does he think he is, Shane McMahon? Sidenote: ECW alumnus Jim Molineux is the ref. Not that you care. Kidman goes groinal on Taker (I'm guessing his gonads are not demon-possessed, though really if they are I don't want to know) before sending him cageward, and Taker blades. More cagework, but Taker stops Kidman and javelins him into the wall. Ew. To the door, but Kidman slams it on Taker's head. Eeyouch. Both men up top, and Kidman stomps away but can't get Taker down. Taker pulls himself up and tosses Kidman onto the mesh, then tries a chokeslam only to get a kick in the gut for his trouble. I'm tempted to add a 1/2* for every time Kidman kicks Taker in the nuts, by the way. Dropkick floors Taker and Kidman goes pound and ground (tm Michael Cole). Kidman tries to fling Taker but nearly sends himself over instead. Boot from Taker and powerbomb try, but YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN and Taker is out. Kidman tries to roll Taker off, but that doesn't work either. Taker sits up, leaving Kidman to maintain distance as they get into a stand-off. Taker then grabs a chunk of roof at JUST the right time to prevent it from falling to the mat. Well, that's what you get for hiring non-union labour in LA. Kidman shits himself and climbs away, so Taker pegs him with the cage roof. Taker climbs down and continues pounding Kidman, and he blades too. We're at about 1.35 Muta combined. Some Cell throws and we enter (finally!), as Taker delivers a Greco-Roman chair to the head. Into the ring and Taker goes up, but Kidman catches him and fucks his arm up. This went nowhere but was a cool visual for a counter. Ten-punch countalong, but YOU CAN'T TEN-PUNCH TAKER and he goes for the Last Ride, except YOU STILL CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN and he gets a cradle for two. Now Taker is pissed and gets a chokeslam for two. Tombstone on a chair try, but Kidman slips out the back and gets the Unprettier on the chair. Even Kidman knows that won't be enough, so he drags Taker to the middle of the ring and leaves the structure. Taking a chair with him. The crowd begins to sense something big is happening, and indeed, Kidman climbs up and does a CHAIR ASSISTED SHOOTING STAR PRESS OF... well, SUICIDE, because Taker rolls away at the last second. Taker's half-dead, but Kidman's all-dead, and Taker's last ounce of strength flops him on top for the pin at 15:54. And UT is 12-0. Barely. I liked this one a LOT more on second viewing, what with the blood and the stiffness and the teasing of highspots. I mean, it was all Kidman bumping for Taker, don't get me wrong, but Taker knows how to do a story match and this was ALL story. Probably Taker's best effort since before the motorcycle gig. Seriously. ***3/4 Kidman gets up on his own and gets a standing ovation as both men are helped to the back.

- World Title: Chris Benoit v. Chris Jericho v. Shawn Michaels. Benoit starts by beating up Jericho with a BAAAAAAAAAACK body drop and legdrop before going to Michaels. Michaels works a headlock, but Jericho slugs him away. Benoit chops at jericho, then he and Michaels do some reversals until Michaels hits an atomic drop and Chrises collide. Michaels cradles Benoit for two. Michaels stomps away until Jericho works over Michaels in the corner, so Benoit gets up and hits Splash Mountain on Jericho. Michaels leaps out before Benoit can move from the seated position and necksnaps Benoit, landing on Jericho. Beautiful choreography. We get our first double pin spot, as Michaels is foreced to pull Jericho up. Benoit chops away on Michaels, sending him into a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER from Jericho. Benoit lariats Jericho and tries a suplex, but Michaels gets a spear and everyone collapses with Benoit underneath, forcing Jericho to break the pin up. Michaels gets tossed so that Jericho and Benoit can renew acquaintances and so that Michaels can start clearing announce tables for later. Nice use of sleight-of-hand style there. Anyway, Jericho chops at Benoit and sends him into the buckle with a clothesline. Flashback is blocked with a mule kick, and Jericho gets tossed across the ring. Suplex and Benoit works a headlock, but Michaels is done with his cleanup and returns to give Benoit a wheelbarrow suplex into the corner. Nice. Flying jalapeño to Jericho, but Benoit blocks a monkey flip and goes up. Jericho crotches him, and he and Michaels do a Stacker2Plex on Benoit. Jericho gets dumped but skins the cat back in and knocks heads together. Benoit gets tied up and Michaels is whipped, but he leapfrogs Jericho and bullrushes Benoit to send them both over by the tables. Jericho uses a monitor (no blood though -- sloppy) and puts Michaels on the SD table, but irony interjects as Benoit has better plans for Michaels and pulls him away, sending Jericho crashing through on his own. Five rolling Germans, but only a two. Trapping headbutts and Benoit goes up for the swandive, but Jericho is back and flings Benoit off and through the RAW table. Well, right about now I'd say the Spanish table is prepping a last will and testament. Lionsault hits the knees, and Michaels gets an atomic drop before holding on for a back suplex. That's a pretty sweet spot. Kip up and Michaels goes up, but Jericho kips up and catches Michaels in a powerslam for two. Jericho sends Michaels into the ropes, but Benoit hooks the top rope and Michaels lands on the apron. So Jericho does a running tackle on Michaels to send him flying through the Spanish table, much like Bret was sent through the first ever Spanish table back in 1995. Seriously, look it up. Jericho suplexes Benoit back in for two. Benoit with a sunset flip for two. Jericho takes the Bret Bump in the corner and falls into the Crippler Crossface, but just when it looks like he'll tap, Michaels returns with the diving elbow to break. Talk about your deus ex machina. Benoit leaves as Michaels slugs away on Jericho. Dropkick and fisherman's suplex get two. Walls of Jericho, but Michaels grabs the leg of Jericho, causing him to flinch just enough for Michaels to reverse and change to a Sharpshooter. Benoit returns and uses the belt on Michaels, so Jericho returns to the Walls. Benoit puts on the Crossface, though, which would give him the belt in case of a tapout, so Jericho is forced to break the whole thing up. Breakdown is stopped as Benoit leans back, so Jericho lets him lean all the way into a dragon suplex for two. Michaels tries a German on Jericho, but Jericho falls on top for two. Benoit with a backslide for two on Jericho. Triple German spot, won by Michaels, who tunes up the band. Benoit catches the leg and it's SHARPSHOOTER TIME, but Jericho leaps off the top with the belt to break. Facejam to Michaels by Jericho, and Jericho gets the back suplex and ARROGANT COVER~! on Benoit, only to have Michaels land Sweet Chin Music at two. Oh, TAG. That gets the pin and Michaels' 5th title reign at 29:28. Well, Jericho has no one but himself to blame there. The wrong guy won, but that was still probably the best triple threat match ever, beating out Rock/Taker/Angle from 2002. ****1/2

- Randy Orton v. The Rock. Orton jumps the gun and goes CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN' TONY to start before hitting a clothesline. Corner punches, which Rock reverses to send Orton out. Into the railing and back in, where Rock gets a belly-to-belly. Rock Bottom is blocked and Orton goes to the leg. Dragon screw is thankfully blocked, so Orton just clips Rock instead. SPINNING TOEHOLD OF DOOM follows, with requisite cheating. Leg jam and Stretch Muffler, but Rock's in the ropes. Has Orton been reading "Psychology for Dummies" or something? More kicking, and he goes to the RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR (with the SITUPS OF DOOM) as the ref demands a break. Oddity: it's a SmackDown! ref, and this is clearly a RAW match, although you could argue it means all 8 refs get a match. I mean, I sure don't care, but I'm sure they do. Knees to the leg and a kneebar sets up Play of the Day. Tequila Sunrise (?!?) follows as Orton must have been asking anyone he could find for anything that could conceivably hurt a leg. More legwork, this time with the ropes. Crowd is just waiting for the Rocky comeback, and he obliges after an Orton blind charge misses. DDT gets two. Orton chop blocks Rock and goes to the figure-four as the crowd is just ticked at this point. It gets a couple of two counts as Orton uses the ropes liberally. Rock reverses, and now the ropes help Orton break. MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER from Rocky, but his kip up fails (what with the bad leg and all). Belly-to-belly by Orton and he tries the Sharpshooter, but Rock kicks him off and nails the Rock Bottom. People's Elbow time, but Orton trips him and gets what I'm guessing is supposed to be a heel hook or some other MMA move but is called (and sold like) a regular anklelock. Not too impressive on the Angle/Shamrock scale, but it'll do the job as Rock taps at 14:44. Crowd isn't loving it, but make no mistake: this match MADE Randy Orton. He should seriously send Rock a Hallmark card every WrestleMania and a nice 15% gratuity of any piece of the main event buyrate for the rest of his career. ***1/4

- I'd be remiss if I didn't note that they debuted two new trailers tonight: the Steve Austin "Gladiator" one, which fits him MO at any rate, and an Edge/Hardy "Matrix" one, which was pretty cool.

- Main event, WWE Title: Matt Hardy v. Edge. In retrospect, I should've seen this coming, considering the Savage and Hogan callbacks from earlier. Especially when Edge came out wearing his old "Hulk Rules" shirt, like the one he claims he wore to WrestleMania VI. Edge wins the lockup and gets a clean break. He then gets a side headlock, which turns into a shoulderblock and suplex for one. Into the ropes again, but Matt gets a swinging neckbreaker and hair pull to work the neck. Turnbuckle shot and Matt boxed Edge down before getting a brainbuster. Matt dumps Edge and baseball slides him before hitting the Railrunner. Into the STEEL steps now, and back in with LeRouxde Awakening and another brainbuster. Matt kicks Edge to the outside and chokes him with the T-shirt before using it to chuck Edge to the mat. Crowd chants for Hogan, so Matt yells that Hogan's dead. If only. Camel clutch, but Edge makes the ropes. Matt goes CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN' and adds a double-rope clothesline for two. He HITS THE CHINLOCK but grinds his knee into Edge's neck for intense pain. More knee strikes to the neck from Matt. Bossman Slam gets two. Edge is totally fucked here, isn't he? Matt pounds on the head some and gets a leaping DDT for two. The crowd is absolutely on the verge of rioting. Matt tells the ref to check on Edge while he goes to remove a turnbuckle, stealing from Kurt/Eric last month. X-Factor gets two. Matt goes for a beltshot, but Charles Robinson tosses it aside. But, see, that was the PLAN, as Matt now uses Robinson being otherwise employed to slm Edge's head into the steel bolt. Now THAT'S some inventive, outside-the-box cheating. It's still a two-count, though. PILEDRIVER OF DEATH, but Edge blocks and gold-bricks it. So Matt does a kneedrop for two. Matt is getting really pissed off right now and Edge feels it. Swinging neckbreaker and Tornado DDT get two. Matt takes it out on the ref, so Edge cradles for two. TKO, but Matt picks Edge up at two. Okay, now he's definitely losing. Twist of Fate and Savage Elbow... and as soon as I said Savage Elbow I knew what the finish was. Yup, that gets two, and Edge Hulks up. To be fair, the crowd REALLY gets into it, even doing the YOU yell on the point. Punch punch punch spear and Edge is ready to finish, but Matt goes low. Matt tries a catapult into the bolt, but Edge jumps onto the second rope, climbs up, and gets a missile dropkick. Matt is catapulted into the bolt instead, and the Edgecution finishes at 22:03 as Edge wins his first ever world title. Cute old-style match, but I'd really like to see them do a second match where they play it straight. ***1/4 Christian (Edge's "brother") and Molly come out to congratulate Edge, and then Hulk Hogan appears and gives him the seal of approval before instructing him to pose for the fans as "Real American" plays. And Edge does. That's it, on behalf of Canada I'm disowning Edge.

The Bottom Line:

***1/2, ****, ***3/4, ****1/2, ***1/4, ***1/4. What do YOU think? I mean, it's not up there with the Big Three (III, X, X-7), but that's only because it's missing the blowaway MOTYC that all those shows had. Still, some outstanding depth on this card and a trio of ****+ matches are absolutly mind-blowing, so I have no problems saying you need to go into hock with the shady characters down the street to find the money to pay for the replay. And if you get kneecapped, you can blame Scotsman.

Thumbs way up.

*****

Okay, I'm not closing this off YET. I still need to include the scenario. In the meantime, I want all of you to go through and tell me what you liked and what you didn't like. I want some constructive criticism and helpful pointers. I mean, I like the generic praise, but dammit, I want to be a better writer too.

To that end, I've asked TGC to come in here and do his usual brutal review. I expect Troy to do the same -- one of these days. And all of you guys can contribute some pros/cons, what you liked/what you didn't, good/bad/ugly, whatever. Got it?

Oh, and as for the prediction contest... well... we have a three-way tie, and two others a point back. So here's the drill: I was going to have people look through the rosters for the Next Five promotions in the scenario and turn/team up people as they saw fit. So what I'm gonna do is allow those five people to pick a fed on a first-come, first-serve basis, with the exception that the three winners get priority over the two runners-up. No, I won't say who's in the fed until you agree to do it.

Once you get into the fed, you may turn up to 20% of the roster (rounded to the nearest whole number) and create up to 1 pairing per 20 people on the roster. So, for example, since NWATNA has 68 people, you can turn as many as 14 (since 68/5 = 13.6) from what they are in the scenario and create three new teams. Got it?

Now, the results.

JAM (16 points on 6/9 predicting and 4 correct spots)

LILJOEYPEZ (16 points on 6/9 predicting and 4 correct spots)

RAISTLIN (16 points on 6/9 predicting and 4 correct spots)

GRIND YOUR SOUL (15 points on 6/9 predicting and 3 correct spots)

SULLEN SLACKER (15 points on 6/9 predicting and 3 correct spots)

CRAZYBRAIN (13 points on 5/9 predicting and 3 correct spots)

MAJICK (13 points on 5/9 predicting and 3 correct spots)

K.O.T.W (13 points on 4/9 predicting and 5 correct spots)

DARTH REVAN (12 points on 6/9 predicting)

GCCWOLVERINE (11 points on 4/9 predicting and 3 correct spots)

HURRICANE DONALD (10 points on 4/9 predicting and 2 correct spots)

ZED619 (10 points on 4/9 predicting and 2 correct spots)

TRISTOF (8 points on 4/9 predicting and wins the tiebreaker down here for correctly saying he would do poorly)

BOTMASTER4LYFE (8 points on 4/9 predicting)

KU3002YNNOJ (8 points on 4/9 predicting)

RYGAR FROST (8 points on 3/9 predicting and 2 correct spots)

THEACE (7 points on 3/9 predicting and 1 correct spot)

So...

Jam, LilJoey, and Raistlin automatically get their first choice. GYS and Slacker will get their first choice among those not taken by the others. However, within each group, it's first response first, so let's see those fingers fly. You might want to list them 1-3 or 1-5 or something, so that I can save time.

Your choices are:

* NWATNA = National Wrestling Alliance: Total Nonstop Action (promotion #2 {G55}, 68 performers = up to 14 turns and up to 3 new teams)

* WSW = Wild Side Wrestling (promotion #3 {N41}, 54 performers = up to 11 turns and 2 new teams)

* XPW = Xtreme Pro Wrestling (promotion #5 {N06}, 52 performers = up to 10 turns and 2 new teams)

* PWC = Pro Wrestling Canada (nee FLI) (promotion #6 {N05}, 50 performers = up to 10 turns and 2 new teams)

* RoH = Ring of Honor (promotion #4 {N08}, 42 performers = up to 8 turns and 2 new teams)

In addition, if someone would like to make a banner and logo for Pro Wrestling Canada, that would be great. Unless I should ask in Graphics. Which I probably should.

The next few posts will be updates on the scenario (who I've heard from, etc.), as well as a look at the 28 new names I have added to the Original Data... well, it's 30, but two of them (Foley and Steamboat) I created mid-game from randomly created training campers. So I'll keep y'all posted, guys!

Dukes

[grind your soul]

Screw you, Dukes If you booked your shows logically, I would've won!

[oldskool]

Virch missed the irony of having someone MORE dead than Taker in the ring.

And why in the hell is Orton using a heel hook/ankle lock? Why not something inventive? Like a FTS or something?

[deanitude]

"Taker's half-dead, but Kidman's all-dead"

[The Third Dukes]

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIENDS!

Part 1 -- The Classics Never Get Old... Unless They Do.

Over the next few posts, I'll be leaking some details about the upcoming BVS scenario. In particular, I promised there would be a couple dozen new guys. The first part (of, like, 4) will be looking at some people -- be they from Japan or from WWF past -- who were added to the scenario because I have a very sick sense of humor.

Here we go...

BULL NAKANO

(Female, 37, Heavyweight, Japanese)

Old old OLD school US fans will remember Nakano's stateside tour with the WWF in 1994, when she had a very decent match with Alundra Blayze, aka Madusa. If you're a puro fan, you're probably screaming about retirement and/or why her of all the joshi. Well, to be honest, I kinda miss her, so I put her in here. One of the two people who I had to invent stats for, so blame me if they stink. Anyway, Nakano (last seen in the US as part of Sonny Onoo's New Japan stable in WCW) is a power wrestler who has spent most of her career working alongside Dump Matsumoto. Her unique look and menacing features make her a natural monster heel for any fledgling women's division.

B/S/T: 35/05/63

Over: 38

Charisma: 44

Menacing, Trainer, Look

Does not speak English

GIGANTE SILVA

(39, Male, Heavyweight, Brazilian (listed as Mexican))

"Hang on," you Attitude folks are clamoring. "Isn't that the really big guy from the Oddities? The Brazilian? He was crap!" Yes, he was. But he was also a raw rookie. He now has seven years experience under his belt, which means he has an idea how to work a match. He's one-dimensional, though, sticking to brawls and power, but that's to be expected when you're 7'3 and 400 pounds. The former Olympic basketball star has also managed to look less like a disfigured freak in his time in Japan, where he'll be trying to improve his skills on tour.

B/S/T: 61/00/00

Over: 52

Charisma: 43

Look

Does not speak English

THE GREAT MUTA

(42, Male, Heavyweight, Japanese)

Oh, for crying out loud, do I need to introduce this guy? While not the high-flying Pearl he was 15 or even 10 years ago, Keiji Mutoh is still a man who fans remember and love. He has adapted his style to more of a ground game, but if the need arises can pull out the handsprings and moonsaults. He probably won't be spending full-time in the States any time soon, though, unless there's a mutiny in All Japan.

B/S/T: 56/69/80

Over: 80

Charisma: 63

Highspots, Booker

Does not speak English

JUSHIN LIGER

(40, Male, Lightweight, Japanese)

The legendary "Thunder" is now in the scenario, but not pinned down to any one company. Good luck signing him, though: he's obscenely expensive and he won't go written because New Japan is his first love. However, if you need someone to fill a spot in a junior heavyweight match, he makes a great addition. Still as good as he ever was back when he delighted fans against Brian Pillman in WCW, a win over Liger is instant credibility. Like most people who cut their teeth in Stampede, though, his style is a clash with US audiences and takes some getting used to.

B/S/T: 53/88/90

Over: 71

Charisma: 38

Booker

Does not speak English

KENSUKE SASAKI

(38, Male, Heavyweight, Japanese)

Described by some as the Japanese Stan Hansen, this man was one of the top names to make the crossover to America in the early 1990s. Most famous for being the third Road Warrior when necessary, he is -- as you would imagine -- a pretty good, but not great, power wrestler. The Strangle Hold Gamma, his submission hold, shows he's more than merely the one-dimensional wrestler that, say, Gigante Silva is.

B/S/T: 79/48/77

Over: 57

Charisma: 45

No special attributes

MUKHAN SINGH

(Male, 46, Heavyweight, Canadian)

Right now, you're saying one of two things: either "Who?" or "Why?" As far as "Who", Mukhan Singh (real name Mike Shaw) was a pretty good big man back in the 1980s, but when he made it to WCW and the WWF, he became nothing more than a stupid gimmick machine. Norman the Lunatic? Bastion Booger? I rest my case. But back in Stampede, he was a powerful evil foreign bastard and knows how to play the monster heel well. A low-level company could use him as their token Arab.

B/S/T: 35/00/00

Over: 30

Charisma: 44

Menacing, Trainer

PAUL ROMA

(Male, 39, Heavyweight, American)

I'm sick, aren't I? Paul Roma got his start as a jobber-to-the-stars in the mid-80s WWF, but always seemed like a guy on the verge of being something worthwhile. It wasn't until he jumped to WCW in 1993 that he reached his potential as a tag team wrestler -- and indeed, he knows how to do a tag match, having made his name with no fewer than four different partners over the years (Jim Powers, Hercules, Arn Anderson, Paul Orndorff). Unfortunately, he has a reputation of being unprofessional, stemming from a 1995 match with Alex Wright. The reputation was well-earned, and odds are he won't be seeing much in the way of a hiring from the big boys. For the record, I made his stats up, so feel free to blame me.

B/S/T: 44/35/38

Over: 55

Charisma: 60

Fonz Factor, Look

*****

There's today's look at Da New Guys. Coming up in the next post, I'll have more news on the scenario, including a look at the seven youngest people I added -- all of whom can be stars at 23 or younger.

PREDICTION CONTEST UPDATE: Raistlin, Jam, and Slacker have sent in their preferences. I sent Raist and Jam to work, and I'm waiting on LilJoey and GYS. Unless, of course, his "screw you" is an indication he'll decline.

[Troy Maskell]

The Pulse Recap for Wrestlemania XXI

Mr Copeland. So glad you could join us.....We missed you

Yeah I'm late so sue me. And Scott you were supposed to keep our colusion to rig.......er that is tabulate the votes secret. Nice to see the kliq at RSPW agree with me on most of my opinions.

Anyway let's get to it.

- Motley Crue opens the show with the theme to Wrestlemania. I fail to care.

- High Winds, High Times and High Gas V Right to Censor

Intresting choice of an opener. Steven and Stephanie are handcuffed together as per orders. I really don't know who to feel sorry for there. IT'S BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA to start as the RTC knock down Simmons only to get smothered by RVD. Settling down, RVD and Bradshaw start and RVD monkey flips Bradshaw right into a Hurricane missile dropkick, that's a cool spot when you think about it. Steven trips up Hurricane despite Stephs protestations and Hurricane gets to play Ricky Morton. Full nelson leads to Bulls Spinebuster (The Curtain Jerker?). That gets two. Morley with the running knees and a russian legsweep leads to an octopus hold. Hurricane makes the ropes however but Bradshaw comes in with the Clothesline of Censorship for two. Morley goes up and Steph tries for the trip but can't cause of those handcuffs as the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT fires up. Moral High Ground gets two before Simmons saves. Bull comes in with a running lariat but gets cut off with a dropkick and Shining Black. Hot tag to Simmons who gets the Pissed Off Racial Sterotype treatment. Spinebusters and much cleaning of houses ensues. Three point stance but Morley saves at two and IT'S BREAKING LOOSE IN TULSA AGAIN. Bull gets tossed and squashes Steven and Steph. Well Steven anyway. I doubt Steph feels pain with those funbags. Simmons gets the diving spear on Bradshaw but Morley saves again only to get reversed. Hotshot leads to a powerslam and the Five Star finishes at 11:28. As Scott would say, Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling **.

Motley Crue is backstage with Steve Austin drinking a few beers. Nathan Jones shows up and questions everyones manhood but Test comes in for the save (Continuity? What's that?) and Jones gets booted and Stunned for his trouble. BEER FOR ALL! And yet Nathan is still going to get a Wrestlemania payoff. Lifes not fair

Intercontinental Title. Lance Storm V Michael Shane

Lance has Dawn Marie so Shane brings out David Flair to counter. There's a joke here somewhere but damned if I can find it. Chain wrestling to start as Shane gets an armdrag, Storm counters with an inside cradle for 1 then REARS BACK AND......Puts on a headlock. Shane gets up but Storm works him back down again. Shane kips up and breaks, slugging away. Blind charge by Shane misses. Storm REARS BACK AND.....Puts on a headlock. Shane backdrops him out and gets a tope con hilo, wiping out Storm and Flair. Back in Storm blocks an irish whip and gets a neckbreaker. Storm tries to stay on him but Shane reverses and gets a suplex. Fishermans suplex gets two. Storm fights back with a thrust kick and knee to the throat. Inverted DDT gets two for Storm. Storm REARS BACK AND.....Puts on a headlock. Shane gets some quick two counts as he works before getting out and nailing a superkick for two. Pair of belly to bellys and Shane goes up. He gets cut off at the pass though and a Rude Awakening gets two before Flair distracts the ref. Storm is understandably pissed and argues the call so Shane rolls him in in the Flair pin but that only gets two and now Shane's pissed allowing Storm to get a german suplex for two. Shane goes for the modified Acid Drop but Storm reverses to a northern lights suplex and follows up with a Henning necksnap for two. Storm goes for the full nelson but Shane counters that with a greco roman mule kick and he gets a DDT for two. Superkick attempt but Storm ducks and Shane KILLS THE REF with it. Storm charges right into a Shane superkick and Shane goes up. Picture Perfect Elbow but there's no ref so Flair loads up the belt. Shane whips Storm in and showboats but Dawn Marie pulls Flair off the apron and Storm gets a hairpull slam. Dragon Sleeper as the ref comes back to life and Storm turns it into the Beast Choker for the submission at 16:27. Storm carried Shane and a good match resulted ***.

Molly Holly (AKA Dead Girl Walking) and Torrie Wilson hook up backstage. Kidman is MIA. Gee I wonder where he could be.

Double Title - La Resistance V Those dang Southerners V Team WCW V Dudes with Attitudes

Booker T does a spinaroonie to Scott Halls music. Okay...Anyway Hall gets triple teamed to start but fights back and Edges Jackie, allowing Stacy to get the pin at 1:59. La Res storm the ring and attack, hitting Stacy with Le Jauques Du Flap to send her packing at 3:17. So what was the point of having those two teams in the first place? Harris comes in and attacks Grenier, getting a Lariat and suplex for two. Dupree blind tags and clotheslines the hell out of Harris. Spinebuster (Tre Magnifique?) gets two as Harris becomes YOUR TNA Reject in Peril (Hey Scott stole Ricky Morton. Fairs Fair). Savaut kick leads to a two count. Grenier with a short arm clothesline and a slam allowing Dupree to hit the French Peoples Elbow (French Tickler perhaps? I don't know). That gets two and a pretty good pop to boot. Inverted Atomic Drop but Harris pulls out the All Japan Sell job and gets a hotshot. Hot tag to Sting leads to the DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER OF HIDEOUS DISMEMBERMENT. Stinger Splash leads to the Catatonic but Laree, like an idiot wants to finish. LareeDT but Lucille gets a german suplex for the pin and the titles at 9:31. There's something good and wholesome about a french woman using a german suplex to win. Hitler would be proud.

SUPERCAGE II: The Revenge of the Smark. Team JAPAN V La Familia V Kurt Angle and SUPER HAPPY FUN Brock Lesnar V Worlds Greatest Tag Team

Team Angle have the old argument to start to show they're serious and AWAY WE GO! Team Angle toss La Familia to start while Team JAPAN nails Haas and Benjamin with stereo dropkicks (Look if you want verbatim might I suggest reading the Pulse Live Report. I'm not going to try to keep up). Tajiri unleashes JAPANESSE VIOLENCE~! on Haas and Eddie eats cage. Brock makes the first attempt for the belts but Ultimo cuts that off quick and goes himself. Eddie cuts that one off though and they fight on the ropes allowing Haas to get the long sought after double crotching but Kurt gives him a release german suplex as a prize. Rey Rey opens the spot bidding with a ropewalk rana on Ultimo as Eddie goes for the prize. He slips off the bar however and lands on Kurt. Well it's soft at least. Shelton has next shot but Tajiri cuts him off and tarantulas him on the cage in a cool looking spot, meanwhile Rey says "I'll see that and raise you bitch" and climbs up and hits a Rana on Shelton as Tajiri lands on his feet and makes another run but Brock cuts him off and flings him back in. Eddie gets the Three Amigos on Haas and goes up but Kurt's there to meet him with some rolling germans. Ultimo and Brock go up and Ultimo is all like "Let's kick it up a notch" and tornado DDTs Brock from the top of the cage. Shelton and Rey go next and have their own private dice. Shelton wins but slips when he goes for the belts, leaving him hanging till Eddie gets him and hits a flapjack. Kurt goes up and knocks off a chasing Tajiri. He then goes for the ARM BREAKING MOONSAULT OF DEATH, which naturally misses. Haas gives it a go but Heyman stops him long enough for Eddie to come and drag him back. Shelton pounds on Tajiri. Kurt joins in, but this allows Rey to come back and he's all like "Fuck You Ultimo I'll raise you again" hitting a double somersault plancha in the pike position and gaining a ten from the Canadian judge (Meesr Scott Keith). Haas and Eddie climb next. Eddie tosses Haas and follows with the frog splash but he bounces right up into an Asai DDT from Ultimo. Ultimo climbs with Brock but Scott Colt comes charging down, knocking down Brock and then turning heel by flinging Ultimo six rows back. He then shoves Heyman aside as Cornette is going ballistic in praise. Meanwhile Rey Rey makes a go but Kurt stops him by shaking the cage. Kurt climbs up and slaps on an anklelock at the top of the cage but Tajiri breaks that up with the mist. Rey almost took a header as Kurt let go there. Tajiri makes a dash but Kurt tosses him and we're down to Eddie, Brock and Kurt. They all pull themselves over. Eddie gets up first but Brock metamorphesizes in SUPER HAPPY FUN BROCK! and F-5's him off as Kurt grabs the belts at 15:24. Not as good as last years but still a great match to watch ****.

The Champs meet backstage. Much claiming to be the best is bandyed about. Yep they're both jobbing.

Kane V Dead Girl Walking

Since it's the last match of this push I'll recap. Molly tries attacking before the bell and slugs Kane down. Kane sits up however. Molly attacks the body repeatedly and drives Kane back into the corner. Shattered Dreams is caught by Kane....oops....Chokeslam leads to the Tombstone. See ya later at 2:57. Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty I'm free at last. DUD. Kane then tries to burn Molly with his pyro but here comes Christian. HIT HER IN THE HEAD! HIT HER IN THE HEAD!. Oh Kane booted it back into his face. Oh well. Burning Hammer attempt is blocked and a double team Molly-Go-Round/Shattered Dreams ends it. Christian goes to leave but Molly calls him back. Oh hell not the WM7 moment......Yep it's the Wrestlemania 7 moment. UGH! If there's a wedding somewhere down the line then my letter bombs are coming out

Highlights of Hogans Hall of Fame initiation. I still fail to see the point of the whole Hogan love in but hey he deserves it.

MEANWHILE Scott Colt is backstage. He's sick of being the fourth wheel. Sick of Heyman going to Japan. Wow borderline racist comments. Ultimo slaps him down in retribution before cutting a promo. He should really be dubbed. Josh Matthews sells it like he crapped himself. Actually with BitchMat you never know.

Hell in a Cell: Undertaker V Billy Kidman

UT gets the whole groovy Wrestlemania thang going. Kidman though is all like "Fuck you Bitch. I'll raise" by being on top of the cage AS IT'S BEING LOWERED! Talk about cojones. Then he re-ups by hitting THE MOTHERFUCKING KIDMAN PHOENIX FROM THE TOP OF THE FUCKING CELL! to take out the entire army. Kidman goes low on Taker and cages him as Taker goes to the gig club early, at least he didn't do it on camera this time. More cagework before Taker decides "To hell with this" and lawn darts Kidman into the cage. They fight to the door but Kidman slams it on Takers head. Up we go. Kidman stomps away but can't get Taker off. Taker pulls up and tosses Kidman onto the mesh. Chokeslam attempt is blocked by another Kidman shot to the nuts. Dropkick sends Taker down and Kidman pounds away. Kidman goes to toss Taker but almost flings himself off in the process. Taker boots him in the head for his trouble and goes for the poochiebomb but YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB KIDMAN~! and Taker gets laid out. Kidman tries to roll Taker off but no dice as Taker does the zombie sit up and we get the old mexican standoff. Taker grabs a piece of the roof and chases as Kidman decides to get the hell out of Dodge so Taker just calmly nails him with the piece of roof and pounds away allowing Kidman to join the gig club. Some cell throws result as we FINALLY get into the ring as Taker smashes Kidman with a chair. Rope walk is countered by Kidman in a really cool visual and Kidman goes for the Enemy Pummel in the corner but YOU CAN'T PUMMEL TAKER. Taker tries again for the Poochiebomb but YOU STILL CAN'T POOCHIEBOMB KIDMAN~! and Kidman gets a cradle for two. But all that does is Piss Taker off and he gets the Chokeslam for two. Tombstone on the chair attempt but Kidman fights out and gets the BK Bomb on the chair. But Kidman knows this ain't gonna put Taker out so he grabs a chair and heads up the cell. The crowd buzz as Kidman goes for the chair assisted Shooting Star Press but Taker rolls away at the last split second and Kidman is dead, Dead, DEAD~! as Taker rolls on top with his last ounce of strength and gets the pin at 15:54. Watched it a second time like Scott. But I still can't give it more than **1/2 in good conciensce.

and I'll edit the rest in later today

[The Third Dukes]

Tonight's update on the scenario will be a look at the WWE's main competition. Eventually, I'm releasing the damn thing. I promise.

*****

NATIONAL WRESTLING ALLIANCE:

TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION

Founded in 2002 as an answer to the WWE monopoly, NWATNA has been shocking... well, everyone. With the star power to make the weekly model work and the best announcing duo in the business, many see NWATNA as the competition that can take down the WWE. Their roster -- larger than any other (provided RAW and SmackDown! are considered two brands) -- attests to their variety, as the X-Division is perhaps their trump card. With something for everyone and a rabid Tennessee fanbase, could this be the new War?

INFORMATION

Size: Global

Relative PI: 61/100 (can attack WWE)

Rank: #2

Owner: Jerry Jarrett

Titles: NWA World, TNA X, NWA World Tag Team

*****

CHAMPIONS:

NWA World Heavyweight Champion RAVEN -- As the WWE was garnering all the headlines for their USO trip, the NWA broadcast their New Year's PPV for free on the Armed Forces Network and on Fox Sports, gladly taking a bath in red ink. The main event for that evening was NWA Champion D'Lo Brown facing Raven and Jeff Jarrett in a triple threat match. With the Asylum's loyalties divided practically in three different ways, a wild brawl sprung out taking the competitors on a tour of the arena. After 25 gruelling minutes, it was a home run swing with a baseball bat by Raven to D'Lo's skull that proved the difference. Raven has since taken on all comers, insisting on trusting no one. Can he be stopped?

NWA World Tag Team Champions SHARK BOY and NEW JACK -- After a four-month title reign, the Exiles decided they were bored. They declared that they would let their opponent dictate their matches from here on out. It didn't seem to matter, as Steve Corino's Kings of Old School fell in an I Quit match, while America's Most Wanted II lost in a double bullrope match. Finally, though, an answer came: lowly Shark Boy sent a written message that he wanted to face the champs in a table match, but wouldn't name his partner. The next week, pride went before the fall, and Sharky's old friend New Jack cleaned house. They've been champs now for six weeks.

TNA X-Division Champion MIKE SANDERS -- Sanders' gift for toadying got him into a prime position. He had himself added to an Ultimate X match with then-champion Devon Storm, Frankie Kazarian, and Sean Waltman, who had to qualify in previous weeks. Mike Rotundo, Director of Authority, seemed to enjoy the gift Sanders offered, and it was now a four-way match. This match happened last week, as the Asylum howled in disgust while Sanders waited on the outside. Kazarian, Waltman, and Storm tore it up in the ring, but when all three were too tired to fight, Sanders rolled in, climbed up, and took the belt. Now, of course, he has to defend it against an entire division that's really mad he's the champ.

*****

ROSTER:

NOTE: an "x" by the person's name means they are considered part of the X-Division.

x-Ace Steel (F)

Alex Wright

Apocalypse

Apolo

Bill Alfonso (F)

Bob Backlund

x-Brian Lawler

Buff Bagwell

x-Caprice Coleman (F)

Chris Chavis (F)

x-Chris Hamrick

x-Chris Sabin

Christopher Idol

x-CM Punk

Dan the Man

x-Devon Storm (F)

D'Lo Brown

Don Callis

Eddie Mustang (F)

x-Elix Skipper

Erik Watts (F)

x-Frankie Kazarian (F)

Glen Ruth

Glenn Gilbertti

x-Hardcore Homo Angel

Hawk Younkins (F)

Headhunter

James Storm (F)

x-Jay Briscoe (F)

Jeff Jarrett (F)

x-Julio Dinero

x-Kid Romeo

La Parka (F)

Legend

Linda Miles

x-Lodi

Lou E Dangerously

Marc Mero (F)

x-Marty Jannetty (F)

x-Matrix (F)

Midajah

Mike Rotundo -- Director of Authority

x-Mike Sanders -- TNA X-Division Champion

x-Mikey Whipwreck (F)

New Jack (F) -- NWA World Tag Team Champion

Nick Dinsmore (F)

Norman Smiley (F)

x-Pepper Parks

Principal Pound

Raven (T) -- NWA World Champion

Rick Steiner (F)

x-Ricky Morton (F)

x-Rico Constantino

x-Rocky Romero

Sabu (F)

Sandman (F)

Satoshi Kojima

x-Sean Waltman

Shane Douglas

x-Shark Boy (F) -- NWA World Tag Team Champion

x-Sharmell Sullivan (F)

Simon Diamond

Simply Luscious

Sonny Siaki (F)

Spiffy Sean Stylez (F)

Tarek the Great

x-Trinity

Vince Russo

TAG TEAMS:

Mike Sanders & Glenn Gilbertti

Having teamed in the early days of NWATNA, this duo is now poised for individual success. Gilbertti has long since shed the label of being a joke and has proven himself to be a very good wrestler, while Sanders is the X-Division Champion. However, with Sanders' victory, he has asked Gilbertti to help him retain the title, an offer Gilbertti did not wish to refuse.

Shark Boy & New Jack -- NWA World Tag Team Champions

An odd couple from TNA's early experimental years, the team went into a hiatus as Shark Boy played with his X-Division friends, while New Jack recovered from injuries. It was only when Shark Boy decided he wanted a shot at gold that his old friend received the call. Now, these two polar opposites hold the titles together, and although they disagree greatly on how to win matches, they're both good at winning.

Elix Skipper & Kid Romeo

In mid-2004, Elix Skipper was on his own. The other two members of Triple X had defected to Wild Side Wrestling, and Skipper wasn't getting it done in the X-Division. However, an old friend came to his aid. Kid Romeo was equally troubled by his middling success in the X-Division, and he figured that re-joining with his partner from 2001 might rekindle some of that success. So far, results have been mixed.

The Kings of Old School (Chris Chavis & Marty Jannetty)

This duo was brought in by a face-turned Steve Corino in late 2003 in an attempt to prove that Tradition was stronger than anything sports entertainment. XXX's title reign was going strong, and many thought this feud was simply a way of having a series of Corino/Daniels matches. To the shock of many, more came about. Chavis (aka Tatanka) and Jannetty actually formed a bit of chemistry in the ring, and the Asylum fans began to dig their old-school ways. The two still team, but are usually in the opening match to get the crowd warmed up.

Ace Steel & James Storm

Chris Harris' WWE defection left Storm adrift for a while. He was too used to being a tag wrestler, and too big to be an X-wrestler. He was also not quite on the level with the main event, although many feel he had a series of decent matches with people like Sandman and D'Lo. Finally, he turned to another cast-off, Ace Steel, who had been lost ever since CM Punk and Colt Cabana walked off to MLW and the WWE, respectively (Punk later returned, but that's another story). Now being called "AMW2" by the fans, the duo has yet to reach the heights of the original, but there's still time.

The Exiles (Simon Diamond & Chris Sabin)

As 3 Live Kru, Chris Harris, and Mike Awesome all defected to the WWE, Diamond and Sabin began a new heel shtick: that they were too good for TNA and deserved a New York contract. Dubbing themselves "The Exiles" to hammer the point home, they went on a tear, eventually beating the Sabu/Sandman combo for the NWA World Tag Team titles. They held these belts for such a long time that they decided the tag belts almost weren't a challenge anymore. Thankfully, along came Shark Boy to make sure their bubble was burst.

*****

Up tomorrow, a look the newest EWR Academy grads and a spotlight on Bill Behrens' all-star Atlanta promotion.

Dukes

[The Third Dukes]

It's heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere.

Long awaited, and about time, I present to you the BVS Scenario(s).

And hey, I delivered before Troy delivered the back half of his review.

I was going to put these in the Stats and Scenarios section, but I figured my fans would find it here first. If the mods step in and tell me to move them, I move them. Capisce?

Inside the zip files are:

* the data you'll need;

* some logos and banners;

* a README containing a look at the WWE rosters;

* the NWATNA summary already presented here.

It should be noted that for accuracy's sake, bvs1wwe is the scenario for playing AS the WWE (as it contains both rosters in one group), while bvs2wwe is for playing AGAINST the WWE (as it holds RAW and SmackDown! separately so that the WWE won't go on a massive roster cut in the opening days).

So... ready?

Here you go, boys.

Dukes

/applications/core/interface/file/attachment.php?id=2042">bvs1wwe.zip/applications/core/interface/file/attachment.php?id=2043">bvs2wwe.zip

EDIT: Oh, I almost forgot. For perfect accuracy, this game needs to be started in April 2005, so be sure to roll back your computer calendar before beginning the game.

bvs1wwe.zip

bvs2wwe.zip

Edited May 21, 2005 by Dukes

[Ace]

I'm guessing from looking at The Non-Wrestlers that Ricky Steamboat is the new SD! Commisioner Am I right?