The BVS WWE: 2004-05

[Kwanzabot]

I think you should release the scenario but if people want to start a diary of it, first give them some guide rules, e.g. they mustn't suck and can't just do this as a stopgap.

I believe that you must continue this diary in another thread!

[oldskool]

Thou shalt not diary the Dukes scenario under penalty of banning. Sounds like a pretty good deterrent to me. Plus it says thou, so it's all holy-like and has continuity with the original diary~!

[GCCWolverine]

Well, we could go with the same rules that Conniption gave for the GBW scenario - diary-ing it is fine, as long as you don't use GBW.

[TAFKA Castroneves]

Dukes the scenario is a great idea, I'd be very interested in getting my hands on that. As for the diary, I am in very much two minds. This is an incredible diary and I am wondering how it will continue, however there is also the idea of a new, fresh start that intrigues me.

Although my friend I am swaying towards a continuation of this, there is still further you can go.

Good luck with whatever you decide though, no doubt we will all be reading no matter what.

[tristy]

Release the scenario, Dukes. I've been itching to do a diary.

No, seriously, just release it. I need a good reason to play EWR again, and that'll be it most likely.

Oh, and yes, keep going with this diary. It's too good to just end it after WrestleMania 21. Easily one of my favorite diaries on the board. Continue it, for the love of God.

[Steve Corino]

I dunno. If you want to keep doing it, then by all means, I'll read it. But if you want to do something different, then don't let me be the one to make you have to keep on something you don't want to do. By now, I think you're probly in the territory where you can start pretty much any diary and people will read it no matter what it is. So if you want to continue this, then I'll continue to enjoy reading, but if not, then that's cool.

[The Third Dukes]

I have fans.

Think about that.

No, REALLY think.

Scary, ain't it?

*****

- The SmarKDown! Rant for Mar. 24 / 05, taped Mar. 22.

- From Memphis, TN. This becomes important later.

- Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jim Cornette.

- And Roddy Piper has declared tonight TAG TEAM EXTRAVAGANZA NIGHT! That wacky GM.

- Opening match: Rob Van Dam and Ron Simmons v. World's Greatest Tag Team. Full-on war opens things, as Simmons pounds on Shelton and Haas and RVD tangle. Double-whip leads Simmons to alley-oop RVD into a kick on Shelton, and Simmons catches a charging Haas in an Angry Man Spinebuster. Shelton and Simmons take it outside, but Haas encourages a double-team. They toss Simmons in JUST as RVD comes barrelling over the top. Sweet choreography there. Back in, RVD gets caught in the heel corner and given the leapfrog choke. Shelton gets a T-Bone for two. Haas in with a thrust kick and atomic drop for two. Shelton lariats RVD in half for two. Doomsday Device attempt backfires, and RVD gets a split-legged dropkick on both men. Hot tag Simmons, and he pounds a variety of people. Powerslam for Haas, but Shelton gets a neckbreaker. RVD floors Shelton and goes up, but Mike Barton shoves him off and Shelton gets and Haas get the Star-Spangled Blaster for the pin at 7:43. Groovy opener. **1/4

- Kidman thanks 3 Live Kru for their help with the Undertaker, and the group considers inducting Kidman before getting into an argument over whether to become 4 Live Kru or merely chuck someone out. Killings brings up their upcoming SNL appearance and says to keep things as they are, and let's go beat up Kurt Angle as a consolation prize. Funnier than I'm making it sound.

- Handicap match: Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar v. 3 Live Kru. Brock charges the Kru and beats everyone he can get his hands on, but they regroup and do a gang-tackle. Kurt (remember him?) follows on and grabs Dogg, giving him the rolling Germans. Ring is cleared and Dogg plays Roadie Morton. I was very disappointed when reading the spoilers, btw -- Kidman doesn't wrestle on a Tag Team Extravaganza? Who will threaten to break the Utter Shitkicking Scale as we know it? If only I knew. Anyway, Brock with an overhead suplex, and Kurt gets one of his own for two. Kurt gives Dogg an F-5 for two, which pisses Brock off, so he gives him an Angle Slam for two. These two are having SO much fun out there. The one-upsmanship leads to Kurt going "Oh yeah! Well MOONSAULT BI... ow I missed." I know, I know, Kurt missed, I'm shocked. Hot tag K-Dawg, who does his usual shitty offense. Hey, remember when Konnan was getting a title shot? Sorry, didn't mean to remind you. Killings in to punch out Brock, but he no-sells that proper and Steinerlines him. F-5 finishes at 4:24. WAY too short. 1/2*

- And much like VD, it's Undertaker appearing when you least want him to. He keeps insisting that there is nothing Kidman can take from him, nothing that is as precious as the soul that he will take in Hell in a Cell. The Creature kneels before Taker (facing the camera, pervs) and holds the urn up as Taker removes the top and throws ashes at the camera, because Kidman's gonna DIE. Creepy shit. Even by Undertaker standards. Too bad he can't back it up -- he's actually getting a bit of a serial killer thing going.

- Bull Buchanan and Jonathan Bradshaw v. Scott Colt and Minoru Fujita. The DA opens with a series of dropkicks on both RTC members, following up with Poetry in Motion (!!) on Bradshaw and a drop toe hold into a senton on Bull. Heels bail and consult Steven, so Colt gets a baseball slide to send them all to the railing, and Fujita follows with a tope suicida to rev up the crowd. Back in, Colt gets a flying clothesline and tries the slingshot legdrop, but Steven hooks his leg and Bull sends him FLYING off the apron to the outside to make him old-schooler-in-peril. Bradshaw rams him into the post, and back in, Bull gets the rebound lariat for two. Bradshaw takes Colt's head off with a clothesline for two. Bull gets the body-vice gutbuster and a legdrop for two. Double big boot gets two. Bull goes for a powerbomb, but Colt goldbricks and rolls him up for two. Bradshaw makes him pay with a clothesline and shoulder thrusts in the turnbuckle, followed by the full nelson hold. Colt wraps his leg around the ropes, so Bradshaw argues and allows Steven to superkick Colt. Bull somehow only gets two. RTC with a stack superplex for two. That's actually pretty cool seeing a pair of 280-pounders do it. Finally, Bull goes up top for the scissors kick and airballs, and Colt gets a jumping tornado DDT to stymie him. HOT tag Fujita, as all three RTC members bounce like pinballs for his kicks and he beats up anything old, one-dimensional, or annoying. In some cases he makes three trips to cover his bases. Fujita driver try on Bull, but he's too big and falls on top for two. Colt with a diving shoulderblock for two. Bradshaw misses a clothesline and Fujita gets a crucifix for two. Steven distracts the ref and brings the Cruiser belt in, but Fujita and Bull get a tug-of-war over it. Bull loses his grip, sending Fujita stumbling backwards into Colt, then forward into a powerbomb for the pin at 13:09. That is Southern tag team wrestling like I LIKE it. *** Heyman bitches out Colt for hitting his partner. Okay, is this going somewhere? Because why would you job out a talent like Colt?

- Edge is in the ring, behind a merchandise table covered in Hulk stuff...

Edge: "Look at this. This is all stuff I bought as a kid. This is Hulk Hogan gear -- lots of you had it, right? I had the whole set. All I ever dreamed of was being in professional wrestling. Now, here I am. I stand amidst an army of heroes -- your heroes -- ready to take my place in a list of immortals. Think about it.

You have Randy Savage, the Macho Man, who began his career here in Memphis. You have Hulk Hogan himself, my idol, my hero. The man I wished I could be. Bret the Hitman Hart -- hey, I'm from Toronto, of COURSE I wanted to match his legend. Shawn Michaels -- the Heartbreak Kid -- what I wouldn't give to be going strong at his age. The Undertaker, of course -- Mr. WrestleMania. The man whose ability to win at the biggest event has withstood the test of time. Stone Cold Steve Austin, the baddest SOB we've ever had. Triple H... a man who helped build this company and destroy WCW through his greatness. Brock Lesnar -- to this day, a man feared and respected. Eddie Guerrero -- a hero to millions in his land, like I wish I could be.

And now I have a chance -- no, more than a chance -- to join that elite company. I will join their company and become leave WrestleMania as the new WWE Champion. You see, Matt Hardy, you hoped to destroy me by breaking my neck. I don't know why you did it, but you did. Only you couldn't stop me. Like the song says, I'm never gonna stop! And on April 3rd, Matt, all 13 months of pain, waiting, and agony falls on your head! Matt Hardy, as my man would say, WHATCHA GONNA DO when the weight of my destiny runs all over you?"

Instead of Edge's music -- or Hogan's -- we get Matt's. Matt Hardy heads to the ring, staring a bullethole into Edge. He has his own mic.

Matt: "So confident. So arrogant. So much the golden boy of the WWE. That's what it's about for you, ain't it, Edge? But I want you to think back a little. In fact, think WAY back to 1999. You remember then, right? It was you and your brother against me and mine. Winner got ten thousand dollars in a ladder match. I remember that night, and the next night, because we gained respect. Not just for each other, but from everyone here, when we tore the house down in that ladder match."

Cole: "It was a sight, Jim."

Matt: "But that wasn't enough. We did it again at WrestleMania, and again we tore the house down. But it was around that time that you became... arrogant. You became self-centered. Edge, I'd go so far as to say you became full of yourself, and your accomplishments. So we did everything to bring you down. We took your titles in a cage match -- but you just tried to pull a fast one with some masks."

Cornette: "Hey! Leave the Conquistadors out of this!"

Matt: "Then we tried to beat you at WrestleMania in a TLC match, but you got a friend from the bingo hall and had him help you win. You know how hard it is to beat three people when you're just two?"

Cole: "Is he saying it was a handicap match?"

Matt: "And ever since then, Edge, you've been the man. It's been all about you. You left your brother in the dust -- and maybe you had the right to do that. But you wouldn't give us -- my brother and I -- credit anymore. We were two ragdolls who happened to be tossed around in the ring night in and night out so you could stand there and flash your precious white teeth for the benefit of those with flash photography."

Edge does his mile-wide smile.

Matt: "Stuff it, asshole."

Cornette: "Yeah, don't rub it in."

Matt: "And now you think you're special because you've been named the heir to Hulkamania? And now you think you're special because the fans out here want to see you win? And then you have the gall to sit back and wonder why I broke your neck? The better question is, why the hell didn't I do it sooner?"

Cole: "You can't justify that, Matt Hardy."

Matt: "I did this world a favor when I put you on the injury list. I did everyone a favor when I made you just another guy on the sideline. I tried to bring you back to earth and knock the prima donna out of you. But here you are. You just won't let others have their time. I should be celebrated -- I'M THE CHAMPION! But all eyes are on you and whether you can live up to some senior citizen with bad legs and a body by BALCO."

Cole: "Oh, now, come on! Leave Hulk out of this!"

Cornette: "Edge brought him in."

Matt: "But you haven't learned. I broke your neck to teach you humility, and you haven't learned. Well... if at first you don't--"

Rather than finish the proverb, Matt clocks Edge with the microphone and begins pounding on his neck. He picks Edge up and gives him the Twist of Fate, then clears the merchandise table. He throws Edge onto it, climbs up, and stares down, wild-eyed. He picks up Edge and leaps, piledriving him through the merchandise table. He stands over Edge's motionless body and picks the mic back up.

Matt: "Remember, the Book of Mattitude says that pride goes before the pinfall!"

- That is how you do a Memphis heel beatdown heat segment of death. Even the promo worked, because Matt's dialect is spoken in Memphis. I mean, I still needed subtitles, but the crowd was able to play along. Add the roid comments about Hogan, the requisite piledriver, and the now 5 1/2 year backstory, and this might just become the main event again.

- Shannon Moore and Evan Karagias applaud their leader's actions, then await their opposition. But Steve Rizzono is hurt, so the squash becomes...

- Shannon Moore and Evan Karagias v. Sonjay Dutt and Hurricane. That'll up the difficulty a tad. Sadly, the crowd and announcers aren't into this, still buzzing over Edge and promising an update as soon as we can get one. If they don't give a crap, I don't either, so Hurricane pins Evan with Eye of the Hurricane at 5:06 after some wacky heel miscommunication. *1/2

- Hurricane makes up for it by delivering the awesome in the Chasing Molly trailer, though. Hmmmm... I wonder what Troy thinks of it...

- Okay, so he probably won't go into any in-depth analysis or anything. I'm just yanking his chain.

- Nathan Jones and Kenzo Suzuki v. New Blood. UGH. Heels initiate a beating, isolating Maven. Jones with a big boot, and Kenzo gets a jumping kick for two. Knee to the face, and Jones enters so they can do the throw punch. Jones with a ground-and-pound, but Maven slips out and gets his DROPKICK OF DOOM. "Hot" tag Conway, and he gets armdrags. Jones Punts him, but Ward is busy with the ref and Nick Mondo nails Jones over the head with a kendo stick for the Conway pin at 2:14. The reason for this match, apparently, was to justify everyone's paycheck. 1/4*

- Paul Heyman speaks about anyone dumb enough to cross the champions. He says Roddy Piper has put the belts on the line early, just because he could, and tonight is a chance for La Familia (thanks Troy). But it doesn't matter, because Team JAPAN are the best wrestlers EVER. Ric Flair may disagree with that, but that's another time, because...

- Main event, WWE Tag Team Titles, Tornado Rules: Team JAPAN v. La Familia. How else would we close out Tag Team Extravaganza Night, after all? Ultimo opens with a tackle of Eddie, but Rey ranas Tajiri into Ultimo's back to take both men down. Eddie picks Ultimo up and suplexes him, but his slingshot senton try is intercepted as Tajiri kicks him to the floor. Rey gets a reverse cradle for two. He goes up, but Ultimo catches him and backdrops him off the top to the mat. Ultimo follows with a moonsault for two. Eddie returns with a tornado DDT on Ultimo, but Tajiri gets a roundhouse kick from behind. Rey pops up with a rana on Tajiri for two. Eddie recovers and does the rolling verticals on Ultimo before going up top, but Tajiri meets him and gets a superplex. Rey bounces off the ropes and splashes the prone Tajiri for two. Rey and Ultimo pop up, and they turn an armbar into an art form. Eddie shoves them both over, and Rey is on top for two. Tajiri gets a dropkick to back Eddie into the ropes, and there's the Tarantula. Rey baseball slides Tajiri to break it, but Ultimo goes up and hits a missile dropkick on Rey, followed by a Lionsault for two. Eddie catches Ultimo and sends him HARD into the corner, following in and putting him on top, then bringing him down with a Frankensteiner for two. Tajiri returns and catches Eddie on the top, hitting Splash Mountain for the pin at 7:28. If that's a preview for SuperCage II, I'm gonna need to order a few more stars. **3/4 Team Angle Deluxe hits the ring and begins a massive beating, but Minoru Fujita rushes out to help even the sides. Faces clear the ring, and Eddie and Ultimo do the staredown, end of show.

The Bottom Line:

Memphis + tag team wrestling = goodness, especially because the crowd is hot and the wrestlers know their roles. A shockingly good RTC match and a series of watchable events, topped with a hot angle, make this show an easy thumbs up. WrestleMania is on full blast now, and there's only one thing left: what does Kidman think is "most precious" to the Taker?

If it's his demon-possessed cowboy hat, I'm personally flying to Stamford and giving Vince a second heart attack.

[DonaldMick]

*peeks head around corner* Oh, it's safe to predict?

Guess not. Predictions moved to the end of the thread, didn't see the rules. Sorry. - HD

Edited April 28, 2005 by Hurricane Donald

[Blehschmidt]

To answer your questions...

Yes, release the scenario. I'd love to play it.

YES..continue the diary. Be it this style, the original BVS style, or something new....continue it!!!!

Oh...and put the final two parts on your site already!!!

Prediction to come when the card is final.

[Troy Maskell]

Shannon Moore and Evan Karagias V Hurricane and Sonjay Dutt

I CALL GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT! Damn you Scott gratuitously not giving a shit about matches is my thing. Oh wait that's women's matches.......carry on. Faces start off hot, heels cheat. Heels miscommunicate. Hurricane gets pin. Hey I sound like our Velocity guy *

[Local Star]

Great diary man.. its really good to see how you have done so much work on it and keep commited to the one diary... my hat goes off to you =)... and no dont let out a scenrio keep your world to yourself...

[craig]

It has taken me ages to catch up but i finally got here.

I think you should continue the diary alot of people here have been reading this for about 21 months and the whole diary is amazing and prob the best at EWB, maybe you could do the next year as doing another mission as your writing for the backstage bits and that was purly amazing, maybe having Andy - Kidman as the role of Heyman so that Andy can stay the same person

I think the Taker-Kidman-Torrie storyline was very good esp with Taker controlling Torrie esp knowing what we know bout Kidman and Torrie

Also just before the Rumble in Montrel when Edge was pissed off with Eddie bout summit on a tape (i orignally guessed it was Eddie that assualted Edge but now finding out it was Matt) what was on the tape, that confused me?

But anyway my Wrestlemania Predictions

*RAW*

World Heavyweight Title: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

- No disqualification

- No countout

- No time limit

- Any inconclusive finish results in the champ retaining

I'd like to see Benoit win and go on to feud with Orton for the title (or maybe Batista returning from rehab :thumbsup: )

Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm © vs. Michael Shane

I think Shane will pick on the win as Storms reign has seemed abit lifeless

Molly Holly vs. Kane

I think Christian will help Molly win and we have a big mushy romantic moment with Christian and Molly

World Tag Team Titles AND Women's Title: René Dupree © and Sylvain Grenier © and Lucille LaChienne vs. Sting and Chris Harris and Alexis Laree © vs. Booker T and Scott Hall and Stacy Keibler vs. Joey Matthews and Chris Matthews and Jackie Gayda

- Elimination rules

- Men on winning team get World Tag Team Titles

- Woman on winning team gets Women's Title

THis was very hard to predicted but i ruled the last two teams out just because of the women and think La Resistance will win because 1. Laree's reign has been longer than La Resistance's and if Molly is returning to womens division she will prob be going for the womens title, and there are lot more and better face diva's than heel's

*SD!*

WWE Heavyweight Title: Matt Hardy © vs. Edge

I think it is Edge's time and with Hulkamania in his Corner i think Edge will walk out the champion

SuperCage II for the WWE Tag Team Titles: Ultimo Dragon and Tajiri © vs. Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar vs. Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin vs. Eddie Guerrero and Rey Misterio

(For those not familiar with the SuperCage, picture a big blue steel cage. Now imagine a couple of bars going across the top, connecting opposite sides of the cage. Now put the tag belts above the cage. To win, you have to get the belts, which requires climbing the cage, getting to the intersection of the bars, and standing up on the bars to grab the belt.)

This was a hard match to predict but i'm guessing WGTT so there ends up being a feud between WGTT and - Angle & Brock

Hell In A Cell: Undertaker vs. Billy Kidman

The only way this feud will get closer is if Kidman wins but it is Wrestlemania so that really threw me but i think the Deadman will go 12-0 for a Edge - Taker feud

Ron Simmons, Rob Van Dam, and Hurricane vs. Jonathan Bradshaw, Bull Buchanan, and Sean Morley

Team Steph mainly coz they have the better superstars more over superstars and have the US champ on there side

*PLUS*

Randy Orton vs. The Rock

This could go either way, Rock could win and Orton could turn on Evolution for not being there or Orton could win and turn face saying he's better than Benoit because he did something Benoit never could do, but i think Orton needs the win more than Rock ever will now he's Mr Hollywood

[GCCWolverine]

The tape was shown a few SD's back - Matt breaking Edge's neck before No Way Out 2003. Eddie just happened to be in Piper's office when Edge was shown the tape, and he went ballistic on the office.

[craig]

ah ha i get it, didn't think of that, thanks

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK RAW Rant for Mar. 28 / 05.

- Live from Dallas, TX.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross and Diamond Fort Worth Page.

- Wait... strike that, reverse it.

- RNN is once again here to bring meaning to your humble lives. He has final parting words for the Rock which all boil down to "Put up or shut up". He is glad that Rocky will be stepping in the ring tonight to show he at least can make a minimal commitment to the WWE in between pimp jobs on Saturday Night Live and such. Speaking of which, Rock was as usual brilliant on SNL, but 3 Live Kru stole the show -- in between their musical "performances" (they pulled "With My Baby Tonight" out of mothballs) and their take on Weekend Update, it's clear they just love being silly. Back to tonight, though, as Chris Harris is our guest. Orton belittles Harris for having nothing to show for his time in the WWE, which prompts Harris to ask where Orton's gold is. Orton fires back as expected, and Harris tells Orton to wait on it. He goes on to tell La Résistance that it ends on Sunday, and that the World Tag Team titles are coming to where they belong. Orton mentions that Laree could be pinned and end the quest, which doesn't seem to worry Harris much. He gives Laree a lot of credit and says he'll be hoping for the best come WrestleMania. Harris isn't that good on the mic.

- Backstage, Booker T and Scott Hall talk strategy (keep Stacy on the apron at all costs -- smart). Hall says that Grenier's inability to be distracted may be a concern, which leads to a few innuendo as it's clear the WCW guys are just having fun. Good for them.

- Opening match (shocking): Molly Holly v. Jackie Gayda. This'll be shorter than Chris Candido if they're smart. Molly catches a charging Gayda and slams her down, then spins the arm. She gets a German suplex for two, followed by a cross-body. To the top, but Kane catches her and chokeslams her down for the DQ at 1:31. 1/2* Kane sets up a table on the outside and threatens to dump Molly through it, but Christian races out and low-blows Kane to stop it. So Kane grabs CHRISTIAN and puts HIM through the table instead. Molly waits to see if Christian's okay before Kane tells Molly that she can visit him when they're roommates in the hospital next week. Kane's such a bastard.

- Lucille LaChienne v. Trish Stratus. Trish works a headlock, but Lucille shoves her off, DDT blocked, backdrop reversed, sunset flip, Trish sits down, two, Lucille finishes, two, back up. Another lockup, and this time Lucille gets a snap suplex and pounds on the knee, switching to a leglock. Trish is up and grabs the ropes, but Lucille pulls her away and flings her into the corner. Monkey flip on the way out gets two. Lucille gets a basement dropkick and hairpull slam, switching to an Indian deathlock to waste time. She switches to an STF, but Trish rolls over for two. Both women up, and Trish gets a clothesline and bulldog for two. Lucille goes up, but Trish slams her forearm into her and gets the handstand rana for two. Chick Kick... gets nothing, as Trish sells the leg. I'll overlook that it was probably the wrong leg. Lucille follows with a legsweep and Sharpshooter for the submission at 5:26. Bravo! **1/4 Trish bails as Alexis Laree charges back in and begins pounding Lucille. Jackie Gayda -- who really didn't get her money's worth earlier -- comes out, one thing leads to another, and a huge brawl erupts (minus René, whom the announcers tell us is in action later) and Scott Hall stands tall at the end.

- Johnny LeRoux v. Michael Shane. Slugfest to start, won by LeRoux, and he sends Shane into the corner and hits a Stinger Splash. Suplex on the way out and he stomps away, but Shane is up and trips LeRoux into the ropes. Ray Traylor Straddle misses, and LeRoux gets a Russian legsweep for two. Clothesline and he goes up, but Shane dropkicks him out of midair for two. Shane with a belly-to-belly into the corner, and LeRoux staggers into a superkick for two. Springboard dropkick by Shane gets two. LeRoux powers out of a sleeperhold to cue the comeback, getting the Bourbon Street Blues (thanks to a reader who reminded me of that name) and a clothesline. Louisiana Jam gets two. LeRouxde Awakening try, but Shane blocks and shifts his weight, getting a backslide for two. LeRoux nearly hits the ref, so Shane rolls him up with the tights for the pin at 6:27. Lance Storm comes out to argue, but to no avail. Solid match between these two. **1/2

- Rock is with Shawn Michaels backstage...

Shawn: "Rock. Man, I gotta talk to you. It looks like the kid's gotten into your head lately. I wanted to give you some pointers as to..."

Rock silences him. "ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY..."

Rock: "Finally - THE ROCK - HAS COME BACK - to FORT WORTH! Shawn Michaels, this may be your home state, but tonight is the home -- of the People. And tonight, in front of the millions... ...and millions of the Rock's fans, it'll be the Rock and the Heartbreak Kid standing toe-to-toe with Evolution. You've got Chris Benoit running around, a little midget freak, acting like he's hot stuff because he knows how to break a neck? Well, the Rock says this: When you step into the ring, when you go against the Great One, there is no neck breaking, no limb snapping, no spine busting, none of that! There is only this: a certified, A-1, top-grade, Texas-size ass-whuppin' all over the ring from the People's Champion! And Randy Orton -- Randy Orton, you think somehow the Rock owes you his place in the ring? The Rock needs to pay some sort of dues to be a champion? No. You see, Randy Orton, what you fail to realize is that the Rock is the most electrifying man in the history of sports entertainment, and because of this, the Rock has earned the right to pick his spots, and Randy Orton, the Rock has picked YOU. Yes, YOU, Randy Orton, are the next contestant on the revival of the hottest game show that ever hit sports entertainment, Get Your Ass Kicked By The Rock! And for this honor, you do NOT get a whammy, you do NOT get a free spin, and you do NOT go to the Showcase Showdown, no no no -- NO! Instead, you get the fabulous grand prize of One Absolutely Genuine Rock Bottom! And then, you get to take curtain #3... and with curtain #3, I want you to shine it up real nice... keep shining it... turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your candyass! IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLALALALALALALALALALALALALALAL... WHAT THE ROCK - IS - COOKIN!"

- Shawn Michaels just got the Coach treatment. Nice.

- René Dupree v. Chris Jericho. Jericho chops away at Dupree, sending him in and getting a back elbow and elbowdrop. Snap suplex gets two. Into the corner for ten shots, then a German suplex gets two. Facejam, but Lucille jumps on the apron and Grenier grabs Jericho in a bulldog. Dupree slams Jericho for two. Suplex, but THE EXTREMELY FRENCH PEOPLE'S ELBOW~! misses. Jericho gets the Breakdown and tries the Lionsault, but Grenier clocks him with the tag belt and Dupree rolls him up for two. Dupree slingshots Jericho out, and when he tries to skin the cat back in Grenier catches him and yanks him to the floor. Dupree works him over on the outside, but Jericho reverses and sends him into the steps. Grenier goes low, but that earns both him and Lucille an ejection as JR notes that anyone who does that in the World Title match on Sunday is fired. Dupree brings Jericho in with a slingshot suplex for two. Senton misses, and Jericho gets the Walls for the submission at 4:33. Exciting five-minute match with some nice cheating and a dominant face win. *1/4

- YOUR WRESTLEMANIA CARD!

* World Title Match: Chris Benoit v. Chris Jericho v. some other guy

* Randy Orton v. The Rock

* Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm v. Michael Shane

* World Tag + Women's Title: Sting/Harris/Laree v. La Résistance v. Team WCW v. Joey/Chris/Jackie

* Molly Holl v. Kane

* WWE Title: Matt Hardy v. Edge

* Hell in a Cell: Undertaker v. Billy Kidman

* Ron Simmons, Rob Van Dam, and Hurricane v. Right to Censor

* SuperCage for the WWE Tag Team Titles: Team JAPAN v. Kurt and Brock v. Eddie and Rey Rey v. WGTT

I'll have more thoughts on this in my SmackDown! Rant on Thursday, including breaking down the matches and the potential for show-stealing. Needless to say, though, this looks pretty good.

- Your theme for WrestleMania 21: "If I Die Tomorrow" by Motley Crue. Interesting choice, as obviously the WWE wants to go with someone with name value for WrestleMania.

- Main event: Randy Orton and Chris Benoit v. Shawn Michaels and The Rock. Evolution double-teams Michaels before Rock even makes it to the ring. Benoit gets a DDT as Orton drops a leg, then a double hiptoss and double suplex follow. Both men chop away in the corner as Rock races in and begins punching away on Orton. He sends him out with the spit punch, but Hebner sends him to the corner as Benoit continues chopping Michaels. He suplexes him out of the corner and begins to follow up on last week's preliminary operations of Shawn's leg. Without anesthetic, because Benoit's a Canadian and we don't use that prissy stuff. Orton enters and headbutts the leg before applying Stretch Muffler. Shawn refuses to quit, so Benoit enters and stands on Michaels' leg as Orton stomps the kneecap. Ow. Benoit gets a half-crab as we take a break. We return with Orton stomping the leg and wrapping it around the bottom rope, and as Rock protests Benoit delivers machine gun headbutts to the kneecap. That's how the Canadian Mafia works, you know. Orton dropkicks the leg and tries a dragon screw, but Michaels with an enzuigiri. Benoit cuts off the hot tag and pulls Jericho to his corner, then ticks off Rocky a little while Orton wraps the leg around the post. The heels tag off, and Orton draws Rock in as Benoit puts the RINGPOST FIGURE-FOUR~! on Michaels. Wow, has Rock been away from the ring for so long he's forgotten the tricks the heels use? Of course, in Hollywood, most heels are really stupid, so there you go. Orton drags Michaels into the ring and pounds the knee with his fists before setting up a spinning toehold. With help from Benoit, as necessary. Rock finally gets sick of this and rams the heels' heads together before racing back for the tag, but Orton stops Michaels and gets an Indian deathlock. Benoit in, and the swandive headbutt hits Michaels' thigh. Orton enters with a shinbreaker and tries a legbar, but Michaels won't tap. Benoit gets sick and tags in, kicking the leg out of the leg and crotching Michaels on the ropes before yanking him in such a way that his leg is tied in the ropes. Benoit attacks it before the ref tells him to back off and unties Michaels, so Benoit slaps Rock a few times. Rock charges, and Evolution tie Michaels up in the Tree of Woe and yank on his leg. Finally, Orton pulls Michaels in and applies the figure-four, cranking it on. Rock enters and stands over an oblivious Orton, hitting the People's Elbow to break. That's a neat counter. Orton gets up and charges, but Michaels hits him with a superkick. A reader pointed out that Michaels uses his right (good) leg to kick his foe, which makes things slightly better. Michaels, meanwhile, tumbles to the outside, landing on his leg. He crawls back in, but Benoit cuts off Michaels and slaps on a Sharpshooter. Oh yeah, he's FINISHED, right? Wrong, because Rock enters and DDTs Benoit. This time, though, Michaels doesn't reverse. Why? Because he was on the apron when Jericho tried that and regretted it. Tag Orton, hot Hot HOT tag to the Rock. DAMN the crowd wanted that. Everyone takes right hands repeatedly before Rock catches Benoit in a dragon screw and Scorpion King Deathlock. Orton calmly kicks Rock in the face to break. Evolution double-team again as the crowd wills Michaels to his feet, but Orton's RKO misses and Rock gets a Rock Bottom on Orton. Benoit with the rolling Germans, but the swandive misses. Michaels heads to the top, but Orton races over and grabs him. He tries a powerslam, but Michaels reverses to the Steamboat cradle (as Rock provides added help) for the pin at 26:25. Benoit smiles as DDP notes that two men got the pin, and if that happens on Sunday, Benoit retains. Just as awesome as the first match, with the psychology and the different ways of cheating and Michaels selling like a mofo. They even built on the previous match, with Michaels just tagging rather than trying to reverse. Two ****+ matches in three weeks -- what's RAW coming to? ****1/2

The Bottom Line:

Benoit looks like the heavy favorite entering, while Jericho is the sentimental choice and Michaels is the underdog, as it should be. Benoit is certainly the freshest right now, and with the "tie to the champ" rule, you know there's gonna be a few spots built around that. However, the no-DQ rule also means we could have a wild brawl with some fun weapons shots that add to the psychology. Oh, and there's 8 other matches too.

WrestleMania 21. Live it. Love it.

[Guest Botmaster4lyfe]

- Opening match (shocking): Molly Holly v. Jackie Gayda.  This'll be shorter than Chris Candido if they're smart.  Molly catches a charging Gayda and slams her down, then spins the arm.  She gets a German suplex for two, followed by a cross-body.  To the top, but Kane catches her and chokeslams her down for the DQ at 1:31.  1/2*  Kane sets up a table on the outside and threatens to dump Molly through it, but Christian races out and low-blows Kane to stop it.  So Kane grabs CHRISTIAN and puts HIM through the table instead.  Molly waits to see if Christian's okay before Kane tells Molly that she can visit him when they're roommates in the hospital next week.  Kane's such a bastard.

←

[The Third Dukes]

You know that if Candido reads that, he'll come after you and bite your kneecaps, right?

←

[DonaldMick]

Swerve of the Year: Other.

"Triple H... YOU'RE FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRED!!" - 1/31/05 Raw

Most Improved: Billy Kidman.

Gooker Award: Trish, Trips, and Tracy. (Because I had something to do with it. )

Best Talker: Chris Jericho.

Gimmick of the Year: Randy Orton, Legend Killer.

Non-Match Moment: The Rock stops Be a Diva.

(Match Quality) Match of the Year: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman v. Haas and Benjamin, Vengeance.

(Crowd Reaction) Match of the Year: Molly Holly v. Christian, Bad Blood.

Spot of the Year: Shooting Star DDT, Judgment Day.

Show of the Year: I'm reserving judgment on this until after Wrestlemania, but right now, I'm going with No Mercy.

WWE MVP: Without question, Chris Jericho.

[deanitude]

SWERVE OF THE YEAR

Chris Benoit giftwraps the tag belts to Evolution (SummerSlam)

I don't know about the rest of you, but I really didn't see this coming and it was done superbly.

MOST IMPROVED

Randy Orton

He's come on leaps and bounds work-rate wise.

GOOKER AWARD

Torrie Possessed -- Torrie Wilson as a Creature of the Night was a nice touch. Torrie Wilson being taken over by a piece of jewelry wasn't.

I just hate the whole Undertaker/Kidman storyline... it does nothing for me. Undertaker has a new 'Creature' now anyways...

BEST TALKER

Randy Orton

His promos on Rock and Michaels and even Sting were all top drawer.

GIMMICK OF THE YEAR

Randy Orton: You were, I am

Entertaining and (most of it) I completely agree with. Truly a great gimmick. Almost an evolution of The Legend Killer.

BEST NON-MATCH MOMENT

Randy Orton challenges the Rock (RAW in Raleigh)

Wow Orton is getting all kinds of nominations from me, but he has had a GREAT year.

BEST MATCH (Wrestling Quality Division)

Sting and Orton go to Hell (Unforgiven)

Although I know most people are going to vote for Benoit/Jericho, the finish of the match really put me off. Sting/Orton was a great contest and the image of Orton punching away at Sting's knee while he had him locked in his own Scorpion Deathlock will always make the little mark in me smile.

BEST MATCH (Crowd Reaction Division)

Mondo thrown off the TitanTron (Unforgiven)

This spot was just amazing, and the funny thing is... Mondo would probably agree to do it in real life. A great piece of booking.

SPOT OF THE YEAR

Chris Benoit's ten-story powerbomb drop on Nick Mondo (Unforgiven)

As I said in the last little nomination. This spot was simply amazing, great booking.

[Blehschmidt]

SWERVE OF THE YEAR

Chris Benoit giftwraps the tag belts to Evolution (SummerSlam)

MOST IMPROVED

Lance Storm

GOOKER AWARD

Torrie Possessed -- Torrie Wilson as a Creature of the Night was a nice touch. Torrie Wilson being taken over by a piece of jewelry wasn't.

BEST TALKER

Chris Jericho

GIMMICK OF THE YEAR

Kane: Your worst fear

BEST NON-MATCH MOMENT

Rock crashes the party and stops "Be a Diva" (RAW in San Diego)

BEST MATCH (Wrestling Quality Division)

Benoit 2, Jericho 1 (Armageddon)

BEST MATCH (Crowd Reaction Division)

Tajiri and Asai win in Japan (SD! in Saitama)

SPOT OF THE YEAR

Kane's top-rope Burning Hammer drop on Shawn Michaels (Badd Blood)

And the final two awards are write-in only:

SHOW OF THE YEAR: Armageddon

WWE MVP: Chris Jericho