The BVS WWE: 2004-05

[deanitude]

wow i won?

nice!

*puts on blue jacket to show his Smackdown pride*

[oldskool]

Jim Ross does not EVER say indeed. NEVER.

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK Rant for Royal Rumble 2005.

- Live from Fresno, CA.

- Your hosts are Every One and Their Brotherinlaw.

- Cute promo (which my US fans has assured me is in the spirit of the Army ads) emphasizing the war-like aspect of the Rumble, with every man for himself. And every wrestler got a line, too, which is cool. But, sadly, it's wasted when it leads to the...

- Opening match, WWE United States Title: Ron Simmons v. Nathan Jones. Whose fucking bright idea was this for an opener anyway? What gives here? Simmons dodges a charge and slugs away, getting a series of shoulder thrusts. Suplex is blocked, though, and Jones gets a right cross and goes ground and pound. Shouldertackle misses and Simmons falls to the outside. Into the STEEL post, and back in, big boot for Jones gets two. K-1 KO, but the final right hand is ducked, and Simmons gets an Angry Man Spinebuster. Three-point stance, but Shannon Ward interjects and Jones gets a running right hook for two. Simmons recovers with a clothesline and diving tackle. Ward distracts the ref and introduces the belt, but Jones misses the beltshot and gets dropped on the top rope by Stephanie McMahon of all people. Powerslam finishes at 7:24. About as good as a match between these two is gonna get. * And yes, that means Stephanie and not Heyman is Simmons' manager. Well, at least it isn't Jackie Gayda.

- Jim Ross and Paul Heyman hype the main event, while Tracy appears and asks for Tajiri. Commentary blows it off.

- World Tag Team titles, Street Fight: La Résistance v. Booker T and Scott Hall. The Frenchies are of course accompanied by Lucille LaChienne, so the challengers bring out Stacy to even the sides. Um, Scott, was THAT your master plan? This is why you make sure the sober one does all the thinking. Big brawl to start (shock, I know), and Hall and Grenier collide on whips. Hall and Grenier leave the ring as Booker gets a slam and kneedrop for two. Hall throws Booker a chair, but Dupree dropkicks it into Booker's face. Dupree then breaks up a Razor's Edge try with a chairshot. ConChairTo try by the frogs, but Booker ducks and knocks both men down. Hall re-enters with a bulldog for two. Dupree slams Hall, and Booker suplexes Dupree. Spinaroonie is teased, but Lucille breaks it up with a FLAGPOLE OF DOOM. Stacy enters to counter, and OF COURSE we have a catfight. Grenier yanks Stacy away, but gets the fallaway slam from Hall. Dupree nails Hall with a swinging neckbreaker, then La Res do the Rougeau Kick on Booker. THE EXTREMELY FRENCH PEOPLE'S ELBOW~! connects on Booker for two. Shenangians involving the flagpole see Lucille hit Dupree as Grenier eats stairs. Hall with the Razor's Edge on Lucille, just to be a dick. Stacy goes low on Dupree, and the faces clear the ring. Spinaroonie is stopped, and we get a HALLAROONIE instead (6.5 on the Fearless Drunken White Guy Dancing Olympics scale). This earns Hall a chair to the head from Dupree, and Booker gets the same. Dupree faces Stacy, who rips her dress off to distract Dupree. Grenier, on the other hand, doesn't pay attention to Stacy at all. Nyuk nyuk nyuk. La Crepe on Hall, on a chair, finishes at 14:11. Not quite as good as their RAW match, but certainly a fun way to keep the crowd alive. **1/4

- Backstage, Triple H tells Kidman not to mess with women. This one speaks for itself on every level, doesn't it?

- So Kidman and Taker come out, and we get to see who Torrie chooses before we see who Kidman chooses. Kidman goes the begging, passionate route, while Taker just commands her through supernatural will or something. But apparently this was Kidman's plan all along, as he sneaks up behind Torrie and... rips the necklace off? WTF? And Torrie immediately turns on Taker, slapping him in the face... oh, dear god. The necklace had her possessed?!! Didn't Papa Shango teach us anything? Who booked this crap? Kidman and Torrie re-unite as the crowd is confused as to who to cheer for, but Taker clears that up by knocking over the happy couple (with Kidman doing his best to take the brunt of the bump). Chokeslam for Kidman, Tombstone for Torrie, and a little selling from Cole indicates Taker turns heel. Pretty bizarre segment that left most of the crowd confused rather than angry. Whoops.

- Women's Title: Alexis Laree v. Jackie Gayda. Rana, back elbow, LareeDT, goodnight at 1:32. Surprisingly, Jackie didn't blow any spots in this match. DUD

- Meanwhile, Kidman's out of the Rumble.

- WWE Cruiserweight Title: Ron Killings v. Jose Maximo. Cornette continues to sell Undertaker's actions as somehow justified, even though kidnapping was involved. Then again, given the method of kidnapping and the whole brainwashing thing, this whole thing just smacks too much of a bad horror flick. A clean break try leads to a slugfest, with Killings winning. Jose rebounds out of a corner whip with a moonsault press, then slugs away. Killings dodges a charges and rolls Jose up for one. A rana by Jose is blocked, so he gets the Kidman facebuster instead. Dropkick and Killings bails, so Jose nails a plancha as Killings appears to be playing the heel here. Running bulldog sets up the moonsault combo, but Killings gets the knees up on the third one. Neck snap and running knee gets two. Kru Kutter attempt airballs, and Jose gets a seated dropkick. Senton overshoots and we get a pinfall reversal sequence. Killings tries a lariat, but Jose ducks and hits the carpetmuncher on Killings. 450 legdrop (!!) gets the pin and the title at 7:37. This SO should've gotten five more minutes. ***

- World Title: Chris Benoit v. Molly Holly. Staredown to start, and Molly slaps the taste out of Benoit's mouth. Benoit LAUGHS at her, so Molly fires off forearms and elbows before a dropkick knocks Benoit down. She grabs the arm and twists, but Benoit gets up with a hiptoss and straight right hand, PLANTING Molly. To the armbar, but Molly flips out and gets a spinkick and bodypress. Benoit bails, so Molly hits a pescado as the crowd starts to believe. Benoit calmly returns with a suplex for two. Into the corner, where Benoit nails one of the single loudest slaps ever to Molly's face. I mean, we're talking drunken stepdad level loud here. He goes for another, but Molly ducks, so Benoit stops short and grabs Molly in the rolling Germans. Diving headbutt misses, and Molly tries a clothesline, but Benoit grabs the Crossface. This time, though, it doesn't work, and you know why? Because Molly's the SMALLER of the two and therefore her arm is too short. Molly quickly exits to check her cheek, but Benoit follows. Benoit tosses Molly to the steps, but Molly dispy-doodles up them and around the post onto the apron. Hey, hey, hey, THIS AIN'T BALLET! Benoit goes CLUBBERIN', TONY, THEY BE CLUBBERIN' and tries another German, but that gets turned into a Diamond Cutter by Molly. Molly-Go-Round try, though, is caught, and Benoit turns it into an over-the-top-rope powerbomb on Molly! Sheeit. Molly ain't moving and Benoit knows it, so he waits out the countout at 9:24. This was a fine bit of storytelling here, and probably Molly's best intergender match, with Molly bumping and running and Benoit being the arrogant prick. *** Molly has to be helped to the back.

- Meanwhile, Roddy Piper lets us know there will be a 30th man in the Rumble. There's some speculation as to who it would be, but anyone who remembers Judgment Day has a good idea.

- WWE Heavyweight Title: Matt Hardy v. Eddie Guerrero. Not the most spectacular title reign for Matt, that's for sure. They work a headlock, which ends with Eddie blocking a Matt bulldog and hitting a seated dropkick. Armdrags and a ten-punch countalong leads to a monkeyflip, and Matt stalls. Matt climbs to the apron, and Eddie slingshots him back in in a spot you used to see a lot of but don't anymore. A few elbowdrops lead to a front chancery, but Matt backs Eddie into the corner. Eddie catches Matt in an inverted atomic drop, but misses a dropkick. Matt takes over with a gutwrench suplex for two. Bossman Slam gets two. DDT gets two. Matt bullies Eddie in the corner before whipping him across the ring into a Bret Hart bump. Ctrl-Alt-Del gets two. Matt tosses Eddie and sends him to the STEEL steps, then clears the Spanish table. Nothing comes of it as Eddie returns to the ring, so Matt gets a springboard dropkick. Eddie reverses a whip into an armdrag and hammerlock slam. He transitions to a cross-face chickenwing, but Matt makes the ropes. Jumping armbreaker, but Matt blocks a second one and clips Eddie. Big chops lead to a belly-to-belly throw for two. Eddie leverages Matt to the outside and hits a tope con hilo. Back in, slingshot senton lands on the arm. Cross armlock, but Matt forces a break. Side Effect sets up the Swanton, but Eddie rolls aside. Rolling verticals, but Matt blocks the third one and gets a five-arm for two. Twist of Fate, but Matt instinctively raises his arm and tweaks it, causing him to drop Eddie. Neat. Eddie avalanches Matt to set up the frog splash, but Matt gets the knees up. Eddie goes low for old times' sake. He tries a DDT, but Matt blocks and they fight over it until Eddie gets the reverse Crossface out of nowhere. Matt flips over and puts Eddie in a pinning predicament, holding on juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust long enough to win at 18:09. The refs argue over the call, but my TiVo clearly shows it was the right one. A little slower than No Mercy, but still a worthwhile match. ***1/2

- Hogan retires and takes 15 minutes to do it. Edge is the new leader of the Hulkamaniacs (even getting to rip Hogan's jersey in a nice touch), then Vince says Hogan is entering the WWE Hall of Fame. Just a time-waster.

- Everyone starts drawing numbers. RVD and Hurricane trade for no reason and both hate it. Nowinski claims he knows how to get #30, which makes Storm laugh. The Matthewses like their numbers. And Michael Shane doesn't appreciate HBK's goodwill gesture. The brilliant part? All of these were paid off.

- Sgt. Slaughter explains the rules as only he can.

- Royal Rumble: Chris Jericho is #1 because he has the credibility to go the distance from Armageddon. And Hurricane is #2, explaining why he was upset. Hurricane offers a clean break, and Jericho takes the advantage. Sugar Smack stops that, but Jericho gets a flying forearm. Walls of Jericho leads to a catapult, but Hurricane skins the cat. Rey Misterio is #3 and nails a dragonrana on Hurricane. Jericho with the back suplex and ARROGANT COVER~! before Hurricane attacks. Jericho bails, and Hurricane gets a 6-1-9. Michael Shane is #4, which explains why he didn't take too kindly to his uncle. He takes Jericho while Hurricane takes Rey. Shane threatens the Picture Perfect Elbow, but it turns into a Hurri-powerslam in a sweet transition. Rey pops up and attacks everyone as Paul London is #5. Heyman (working commentary with JR) notes that the Cruiserweight talent in the ring is the finest you can find. Well, outside of Japan, I guess. London dives in on the field, but gets hit with Sweet Shane Music. Rey and Jericho do Poetry in Motion on Shane. London gets a dropkick / moonsault combo on Shane and Rey. Rob Van Dam is #6. Everyone gets kicked, and a spinkick to London allows Shane to bundle him out at 8:40. RVD and Hurricane do Rolling Thunder on Shane. Edge is #7 as the ring has some awesome workers in it. He beates on Shane some, while Jericho tries to toss Rey. RVD and Hurricane double-team Jericho to break, so Rey thanks them with a bodypress. Nick Mondo enters next at #8 and has a Singapore cane as Heyman approves. Mondo, Jericho, Edge, and RVD do a quadruple German suplex spot. Hurricane chokeslams Rey, so Shane superkicks Hurricane. Jonathan Bradshaw is #9 as JR looks on, appalled. Bradshaw tosses Mondo at 14:35. Big Clothesline murderizes Rey, and he's easy pickings at 15:24. RTC salute turns into the Breakdown from Jericho. Ha! Chris Harris is #10, allowing JR and Heyman to get in some digs at NWATNA. Ah, the Wars are back. Nothing of note here otherwise. Batista is #11 and the two hosses fight it out. Hurricane charges Batista and gets sent out at 18:59. Evolution double-teams RVD as per Benoit's instructions earlier in the night, but Edge breaks it up. Nova is #12 and brings the cane back to beat up Bradshaw with. Kryptonite Krunch, but Harris lariats Nova. Edge keeps the pressure on Bradshaw, while Evolution double Nova. Undertaker is #13, and everyone stops fighting and focuses on punishing him. They're trying so hard to make him a heel. Batista with a spinebuster, Bradshaw with a caneshot, and Jericho sends Taker out at 23:12, much to the surprise -- and delight -- of those watching with me. RVD takes advantage of the confusion and tosses Bradshaw at 23:18. Hey, now all we need is Batista gone and we're on a roll! Catatonic to Shane. Brock Lesnar is #14 and the bodies fly. Nova is gone at 24:42. Harris joins him at 25:08. Edge and RVD work on Jericho. Triple H is #15, which means nothing anymore. He takes his frustrations out on Jericho while Edge tosses Shane at 26:31. RVD goes up top, but HHH throws him off and RVD crashes through the Spanish announcers' table at 27:24. Give them credit -- they're making the Spanish announcer table spot that much more unpredictable. Charlie Haas is #16, and he goes for HHH as Brock and Batista square off. Jericho slams HHH into the turnbuckle ten times to keep the crowd happy. Tracy is #17, and she thanks Paul Heyman on the way to the ring. HHH grabs her, but Tracy shoots the RED MIST OF BLINDING AGONY into his eyes (hence why she wanted to find Tajiri, remember) and HHH stumbles out (with Tracy's help) at 30:45. Batista sends Tracy packing at 30:55, and HHH chases her to the back. Edge sends Haas out at 31:34. Thinning the herd was never so much fun. Ultimo Dragon is #18 as Heyman marks out. Ultimo nearly gets himself eliminated 10 seconds in, but skins the cat and returns. He battles with Batista, who nearly Demon Bombs him before Ultimo dropkicks to break. Brock goes for Ultimo's mask, which would get major heel heat in Japan. Joey Matthews is #19. Ultimo teases a few eliminations. Batista and Jericho hit the chinlock. Chris Matthews is #20, which explains why both men were so pumped. Double backdrop to Ultimo, Problem Solver to Batista, and a double clothesline to Edg... oops, Edge knocks both men out at 37:53. Fun while it lasted, though. Shawn Michaels is #21 and once again, it's SUPERKICKS FOR EVERYONE! Batista is gone at 38:34, but not before lasting 20 minutes. Surprisingly good performance from the big man, though lasting long in a Rumble isn't as hard as it seems. Everyone slowly returns to block someone else's move in a neat sequence. Christian is #22 and goes for Edge as JR speculates on what their childhood must have been like. Now THERE'S a funny thought. Ultimo breaks it up, then he and Michaels combine for a Matrix kick to Christian. Jericho teases some more eliminations. Shelton Benjamin is #23 and helps Brock out. He blocks the superkick with a T-Bone suplex. Edge and Ultimo do some chain-wrestling. Kane is #24 and sets off his pyro in the ring, scaring everyone. Brock challenges first, but he's tossed out at 44:49. Shelton tries, but Kane no-sells and throws him out at 45:30. Christian gets an Unprettier and works the arm. Randy Orton is #25 and RKOs Pat Patterson at ringside as a how-do-you-do. His choice of old man is Ultimo. Christian and Edge get a ConChairTo on Kane. Chris Nowinski is #26 -- so much for getting #30 -- as JR wonders who got it instead. Nowinski works the mat with Edge while Orton puts a figure-four on Ultimo. Orton tries to toss Ultimo, but the leg is dead and Ultimo goldbricks. Roddy Piper (subbing for Kidman) is #27. See, I told you -- same thing as Judgment Day. He beats on random people before Orton throws him out at 50:53. Michaels superkicks Orton out at 51:18, meaning he eliminated both Batista and Orton. Interesting. Burning Hammer is blocked. Kurt Angle is #28 and JR crowns him the favorite. Kiss of death. Jericho tosses Nowinski at 52:34. Nowinski is unhappy and tries to return, so Sarge puts the cobra clutch on him to subdue him. Here's hoping this DOESN'T lead to a Nowinski/Sarge match on RAW. Angle with the rolling Germans on Edge. Bull Buchanan is #29, and he works over Michaels. Kane Tombstones Christian out at 55:15. Edge and Ultimo go all KAIENTAI~! on Bull. And Lance Storm is #30, completing the payoff to the Nowinski joke.

- So our suspects are... whoops, Edge just tossed Bull at 56:13. So our suspects are: Jericho, Edge, Ultimo, Michaels, Kane, Kurt, and Storm. The Thrillseekers re-unite on Kane as Kurt Angle Slams Michaels. Edge and Ultimo tussle, with Edge getting the Sharpshooter. Michaels counters the Burning Hammer and charges, but takes the Holy Shit Bump v2.0 at 57:48 to go bye-bye. Angle Lock on Storm. Total Elimination on Kane. Edge and Ultimo do their Kaientai double-team on Kane while Jericho clotheslines Angle (who was obsessed with holding the Angle Lock) at 59:47. Storm is dead weight, so Kane breaks the holds and tosses him at 60:17, and we're down to the...

- Final Four: Edge, Jericho, Kane, Ultimo. Nice field. Jericho and Ultimo fight from their knees while Kane hits the diving clothesline on Edge. Jericho tries to toss Ultimo, but Kane powers both men out at 62:00. Edge spears Kane for a double KO. Kane sits up first and tries to chokeslam Edge over the top and out, but Edge hangs on to Kane's arm as he lands on the apron, and Kane tumbles to the outside at 63:25 as Edge wins the Rumble. No dominant Flair-like performance (although Jericho came DAMN close) means I can't go the full monty here, but an outstanding and tightly-booked Rumble. ****3/4

The Bottom Line:

Full Speed Ahead to WrestleMania 21, as both World Title matches delivered and an awesome Rumble followed. Since I think virtually everyone knows what Matt is afraid of being revealed, the hatred factor goes up a notch. Plus Benoit looks like a heartless machine, which is always how he should be booked.

Thumbs unquestionably up.

*****

WWE.com

January 30-31, 2005

The King of the Ring is back, and this time, it gets RAW!

With Edge winning the Royal Rumble and undoubtedly choosing to face Matt Hardy at WrestleMania, Eric Bischoff has decided to take a page out of Stephanie's book and have a King of the Ring. Over the next few weeks, 16 superstars will square off, with the winner of the tournament facing Chris Benoit at WrestleMania 21 in Hollywood!

The first round matches are as follows:

* Batista v. Shawn Michaels

* Lance Storm v. Michael Shane

* Molly Holly v. Randy Orton

* René Dupree v. Sting

* Chris Harris v. Triple H

* Kane v. Scott Hall

* Chris Jericho v. Johnny Jeter

* Chris Nowinski v. Nick Mondo

The first round will take place in two parts: tonight at San Jose and next week from Saitama, Japan! Quarterfinals will be held in two weeks' time, and the semis and final will be live on RAW from State College, PA, on February 21! The winner goes to WrestleMania!

Edited March 9, 2005 by Dukes

[Hajjhowe]

Some interesting choices for the tournament, and any number of them would be a good pick. The only odd spot to me would be Johnny Jeter. Sure, I haven't been reading this long, but something just doesn't look right there.

[DonaldMick]

I'm noticing a distinct lack of Christian in the King of the Ring this year.

The peepulation is not amused.

[Ace]

My Predictions. Remember People I won the last contest.

Batista v. Shawn Michaels

Lance Storm v. Michael Shane

Molly Holly v. Randy Orton

René Dupree v. Sting

Chris Harris v. Triple H

Kane v. Scott Hall

Chris Jericho v. Johnny Jeter

Chris Nowinski v. Nick Mondo

Shawn Michaels v. Michael Shane

Randy Orton v. Sting

Triple H v. Kane

Chris Jericho v. Nick Mondo

Shawn Michaels v. Randy Orton

Chris Jericho v. Kane

Randy Orton v. Jericho of which I can see a double winner happening to set up a triple threat for Mania.

[Jam]

Sure, why not

* Batista v. Shawn Michaels

* Lance Storm v. Michael Shane

* Molly Holly v. Randy Orton

* René Dupree v. Sting

* Chris Harris v. Triple H

* Kane v. Scott Hall

* Chris Jericho v. Johnny Jeter

* Chris Nowinski v. Nick Mondo

Shawn Michaels Vs Michael Shane

Randy Orton Vs Sting

Chris Harris Vs Kane

Chris Nowinski Vs Chris Jericho

Randy Orton Vs Shawn Michaels

Chris Jericho Vs Kane

Randy Orton Vs Chris Jericho

[9 to 5]

* Batista v. Shawn Michaels

* Lance Storm v. Michael Shane

* Molly Holly v. Randy Orton

* René Dupree v. Sting

* Chris Harris v. Triple H

* Kane v. Scott Hall

* Chris Jericho v. Johnny Jeter

* Chris Nowinski v. Nick Mondo

Shawn Michaels vs Michael Shane

Randy Orton vs Sting

Triple H vs Scott Hall

Chris Jericho vs Nick Mondo

Shawn Michaels vs Randy Orton

Triple H vs Chris Jericho

Shawn Michaels vs Chris Jericho

[oldskool]

* Batista v. Shawn Michaels

* Lance Storm v. Michael Shane

* Molly Holly v. Randy Orton

* René Dupree v. Sting

* Chris Harris v. Triple H

* Kane v. Scott Hall

* Chris Jericho v. Johnny Jeter

* Chris Nowinski v. Nick Mondo

Shawn Michaels v. Michael Shane

Molly Holly v. Sting

Chris Harris v. Kane

Chris Jericho v. Nick Mondo

Michael Shane v. Sting

Kane v. Nick Mondo

Sting v. Kane

And how did I go from 8 points before the rumble to 7 after? :blink:

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK RAW Rant for Jan. 31 / 05.

- Live from San Jose, CA.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross and Dallas Page, who declare tonight will be a special night in RAW history. I wonder if they knew the half of it.

- RNN! Your host is Randy Orton, as always, who declares he will win the King of the Ring and face Benoit for an all-Evolution WrestleMania. That may be the only thing that could turn Benoit face after last night, and we're reminded of the sick powerbomb Molly took during the World Title match. That's my Benoit. I feel like a proud parent. And just to keep the fun going, here's Vince McMahon, strutting like nobody's business. He certainly looks more human following rehab. Good for him. Anyway, Orton immediately tells the old man off, saying he's the past and all that, so Vince calmly reminds him who writes the paychecks and Orton shuts up. Take that, bitch. So Vince tells us it's time to start the King of the Ring tonight, and the winner joins an illustrious list. This year, they DO mention Kurt Angle's name, and thankfully they still forget Billy Gunn's. Orton accepts pre-emptive congratulations for an all-Evolution final, and Vince rightly points out it could be Batista or Shane or... well, that person behind you! Oh, that's Molly. I sense a brawl. There we go. Evolution run-in, HBK and Lance Storm save, and Vince decides to make a six-man tag as we go to break. Darnit, where's Michael Cole when you need him to be a ref?

- Evolution v. Shawn Michaels, Lance Storm, and Molly Holly. JIP as Orton and Storm exchange (what else?) headlocks. Orton gets the best of that with a floatover DDT and a suplex. Storm fights out, but Orton shoulderblocks him down and goes to a legbar. Storm crawls to the ropes, then pulls himself up and... airballs an enzuigiri. Well, the thought was there. Orton with Play of the Day for two. Chop block gets two. Orton kicks the leg out of his leg and goes to a figure-four. It gets a few two-counts before Storm reverses to get Orton to break. Orton nails an enzuigiri on Storm (!!) and puts on the Sharpshooter (!!!), making it look better than he did even in Hell in a Cell. Damn. Storm punches away at Orton's leg to force a break, but his leg is hanging by duct tape and fishing wire and everyone knows it. Orton goes for a basement dropkick, but Storm leaps out of the way and the two men tumble to the mat. Storm slugs away at Orton to keep him down, but as he crawls over, Orton makes a dive onto the leg to stop Storm. Orton drags him back, but goes for an STF or something and gets rolled up for two. He pops up and tries a lariat, but Storm ducks and chops Orton down. He goes up top, freaking out JR, but the kneesmash connects. Hot tag Michaels, and he's a house afire. It's BONZO GONZO as Batista clears Michaels out, and Shane tries the framed elbow on Storm, but Storm moves. Molly hits the Molly-Go-Round on Shane, but an RKO finishes at 10:00 or so shown. Basically Orton v. Storm, as everyone else went 20 minutes in the Rumble (or was selling a big bump), and it wasn't bad. **1/4

- And just to throw a swerve at us, HHH beats up Chris Harris backstage, making us wonder if he'll be ready to go in the main event.

- King of the Ring Qualifier: Kane v. Scott Hall. Hall attacks from behind, tossing Kane into the turnbuckle and getting a shoulder tackle. Second-rope bulldog gets two. He tries the fallaway slam, but Kane slugs the back and Hall crumples to the mat. Kane gets two off of it. Kane goes clubberin', then hits a big boot for two. Hall ducks a second boot and yanks Kane down by the shoulder straps, then clotheslines him out of the ring. On the outside, Hall tosses Kane into the barrier, but gets sent over it. Kane returns, angling for a countout, but Hall gets to the apron. Kane suplexes him in for two. He tries for a chokeslam, but Hall manages to trip Kane and stomps away. Fallaway slam connects for two. He tries the Edge, but it's near the ropes and he heads back over. Into the STEEL steps he goes, then Kane goes up and hits the diving clothesline to the outside. Back in, chokeslam finishes at 6:34. Peppy little match. **

- You know, if the rest of the spots are anything like the Basic Insinct ad, I'll like them.

- King of the Ring Qualifier: Johnny Jeter v. Chris Jericho. Jeter attacks as well, hitting a German suplex right off the bat for two. Northern lights gets two. Jericho cuts off a kick and nails an enzuigiri. Jeter bails and talks to Jackie, but Jericho wipes them both out with a single tope con hilo. Jericho returns, and Jeter tries to follow, so Jericho does his springboard dropkick and Jeter crashes into Jackie again. Jericho celebrates, but Jeter dives in with a missile dropkick on Jericho for two. He tries his own Walls of Jericho, but Jericho kicks away and gets a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER on the rebound. Lionsault hits the knees, and Jeter gets a tornado DDT out of nowhere for two. Man, why does this guy use a flying spinkick as a finisher? Hotshot gets two. He goes up, but Jericho follows and gets a superplex. Back suplex and ARROGANT COVER~! gets two, as DDP wonders if Jericho could've finished by hooking the leg. Jericho goes up this time, but Jackie shakes the ropes and Jeter gets a backdrop for two. Jeter hits a spinkick, then tries his own Lionsault, but Jericho kicks him IN MIDAIR. Walls of Jericho try, but Jeter blocks, so Jericho catapults him into the turnbuckle instead for two. This match is mad fast. Jericho with a full nelson, but Jeter blocks the dragon suplex with a mule kick. He tries a crossbody, but Jericho counters to a powerslam and the Lionsault hits for the pin at 5:22. If you could only watch five minutes of wrestling this year, make it these five. **3/4

- As if the tournament couldn't be more screwed up, Eric Bischoff announces the Harris is out, so Trish Stratus will take his place. And the match is No-DQ, because Triple H deserves it after the raw deal he got at the Rumble. This seemed stupid at the time, but then got better in a hurry... read on.

- King of the Ring Qualifier: Chris Nowinski v. Nick Mondo. Nowinski does a pre-match promo lauding scientific wrestling and saying he will put on a display against Mondo... then turns around into a chairshot as Mondo throws the match. He goes for the Sledgehammer Legdrop, but Nowinski avoids it and goes chair-happy, beating Mondo into a pulp. He then declares he won't settle for this kind of win and challenges Mondo to a return match for next week in Saitama -- only this time, for real. Seeing as how the WWE in Japan is going to be in-ring heavy, this has a chance to be decent.

- Christian charges Eric Bischoff's office and demands to know why he was left out of King of the Ring. Bischoff clearly has no answer -- well, no honest answer -- for Christian, but Benoit thinks fast and declares he'll just give Christian a shot, cuz he's damn certain he'll win. Gutsy, I'll give them that.

- NEXT WEEK IN JAPAN!

* World Title: Chris Benoit v. Christian

* Shawn Michaels v. Batista

* Molly Holly v. Randy Orton

* Chris Nowinski v. Nick Mondo

* Sting v. René Dupree

* Lance Storm v. Michael Shane

- Pretty good star power there, and the return of Pegasus to Japan ought to make for a good show. I don't think any of the other people has spent significant time in Japan, so they may have a hard time adjusting to the Japanese style of fighting.

- Main event, King of the Ring Qualifier: Triple H v. Trish Stratus. Did someone say no-DQ? Yes, yes they did. And so here comes practically the entire face side of the locker room to stand around ringside. Trish enters the ring and snaps her fingers as Jericho climbs the top rope and tackles HHH. He holds HHH open so that Trish can kick him in the balls. This is beautiful. Trish with Stratusfaction, but Hunter no-sells and tries a clothesline. Trish does the Matrix duck, and Hunter runs straight into Sting's bat, which shatters on impact. Hot DAMN the crowd popped for that. Michaels and Hall run in and stand between Jericho and HHH, then Michaels hits a superkick on HHH. Up until then I thought this was a worked shoot. Trish covers, and all four men help hold HHH down as Earl Hebner counts a fast three. HHH is finally let up, and he stares in disbelief as "No Chance in Hell" plays and Vince McMahon comes out, and you know what? I'm transcribing this for prosperity and for my own guilty pleasure.

Vince: "Paul... Triple H... Hunter... look at me. LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT! I bet you're wondering what just happened. Wondering why you were just made to lose to a woman. Wondering whose bright idea it was to have such a great and powerful wrestler lose to a nobody like Trish. Calm down, Trish, I don't think that. But he does. And there's so much more.

About a year ago, Paul, I gave you my daughter. I watched you take a vow to love, honor, and obey her. And she gave the same vow to you. But what happens while I'm convalescing in a hospital, crawling back from being inches away from death? You become some sort of monster. I was all prepared to forgive and forget. I told my family's attorneys to make the separation as amicable as possible -- let you have the money -- then I was gonna keep you aboard. Let you finish your career here.

But then I hear from these men here what you're really all about. I hear from Chris here that you try to change the show behind my back -- defy my orders. I hear from the ol' man Sting here about how you drop verbal abuse on Eric Bischoff and call him a failure to other people. Even your former friends know what you're about, Paul. Scott Hall told me about your mockery of Big Show when he went into rehab -- right in front of another man who fought a drinking problem. Are you that dumb or just that insensitive?

But that -- that they could forgive. And that I could forgive. But then I hear a couple of things that make me sick. First, during negotiations, you claim that if I don't give you all you want -- title reigns, seven figure salaries, the whole works -- you're going to tell the world that I'm firing you over the divorce? You talked about taking me the cleaners, and winning half of WWE in court? Did you honestly think I would take kindly to that -- that I would give in to your blackmail? I'M VINCE MCMAHON, DAMMIT! I STARED DOWN THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT AND MADE THEM BLINK! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

But all that... all that is nothing. And if you're looking for a scapegoat, look to your one-time friend, Shawn Michaels. Look to the man who realized how bad you were and ratted you out. Blame my wife Linda for confirming what he said you were saying. Because you did something I won't abide by."

HHH (without a mic): "What are you talking about?"

Vince: "You know damn well what I'm talking about. And now, everyone's gonna know -- or did you forget that the federal agents left the wiretaps on my phone lines, just in case they wanted to re-open their steroid case?"

(over the PA, we hear a recording of HHH and Stephanie talking)

HHH: "You know, I want this all to work out well, but... but it just seems like you guys are playing the media spin too much."

Steph: "What do you mean?"

HHH: "I mean, do you really think Darren did it?"

Steph: "I'm sure of it."

HHH: "Cuz it's not like it's the first time a woman's cried wolf.  She knows... that girl knows that Vince got hit with sex harassment suits.  She probably got sick of having Darren jerk her around and tried to trap her.  This whole bull**** about notes and late night meetings... it's a good story, and she's a decent actress."

Steph: "Hunter, how could you..."

HHH: "Because I know him.  I know he wouldn't harm a damn human being.  He panicked when those cops came after him because he was set up.  She invited him in, and she went about setting him up.  I can't believe you buy that little bitch's story."

Steph: "Oh, come on, Hunter... is this really bothering you?"

HHH: "It eats me every day.  Darren's my friend, and you... you showed him the door because you bought some dime-a-dozen tramp's fairy tale.  You know what?  When he's set free, I hope he takes that little girl to the cleaners."

[AntPaulseno]

What a way to end Raw and HHH's WWE career!!!

Unbelievable Raw!!!

[Guest Crossface]

OMG>>>>>>>

this raw ruled all!

[Steve Corino]

That....was....awesome!

Dude, SIGN CORINO. He can be the heel backbone of Raw, sign him!

[Silent C]

I should probably criticize this and say how this wasn't realistic even in the BVS scope of things... but this was too damn enjoyable to do so. Kudos to ya, mate.

Oh, and ditto on the Corino thing, in the hopes this was just a tease to gauge our responses or something...

[Kapalua2483]

Best firing of HHH I've seen on these boards and with how the storyline went it's absolutely acceptable in how it was done...VERY WELL DONE!

[Kane's Mullet Slacker]

I haven't commented in this diary in a while and I'd thought I'd just share my thoughts after that show...

As highly unbelievable it might be [the public humiliation and on-air firing of Triple H] , it's been a long time coming in this diary. That one segment made the whole show. The rest was subpar.

Somehow I see Molly Holly making it to the finals of the KOTR.

The World title match in Japan between Benoit and Christian should bring the awesome.

Other than that it seems everything is just steamrolling towards Wrestlemania.

Edited March 16, 2005 by Sullen Slacker

[GCCWolverine]

Wow...now that's a screwjob...

[Commander Sheepard]

Bravo Dukes, bravo.

Aside from the HHH "thing" (which was a totally awesome conclusion to that whole saga) the whole diary seems to be progressing well. I really like some of the feuds you have set up, and you still are nailing the characters dead on. Virch continues to be as good or better than the real thing, and I'm looking forward to reading about how "he" thinks the Japan show went.

[oldskool]

Hilarious. Sig'd. Even though I'm not personally a fan of Vince using kayfabe to wipe his ass in what felt like a good 10-minute main event promo.

[Silent C]

The World title match in Japan between Jericho and Christian should bring the awesome.

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