The BVS WWE: 2004-05

[Troy Maskell]

Rey-Rey is going to be your next WWE champ.

We assured that at SurSer

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK RAW Rant for Dec. 06 / 04.

- Live from Greenville, SC.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross and DDP.

- RNN: Shawn Michaels is going down and going down hard at Armageddon. Speaking of going down hard, our guest tonight is Sylvain Grenier, who has been getting a very bizarre push as of late. Of course, when you link "Grenier" and "push", it only follows that "bizarre" would follow. Anyway, they begin in French (with Orton faking his way through it) before they cut to the chase: Grenier has had success against the tag champs, and he lusts for gold again. He had made the match official: Armageddon will be Sting and Harris v. Grenier and a mystery partner. Orton presses for details, but all Grenier says is "not you". Chris Harris emerges, and now HE wants to know what gives, but Grenier plays coy until Lucille LaChienne can throw powder in his face. Back suplex and double kneedrop leaves Harris laying. If it's Lucille, the WWE has truly run out of ideas.

- Lance Storm and TJ Wilson v. Christopher Nowinski and Rodney Mack. But first, Theodore Long tells Laree to come back to earth and give the real women a shot. Jazz and Gail, I presume. Faces clear the ring to start, and Nowinski and Mack talk strategy. Storm heads out to grab Nowinski, but Nowinski uses the FACIAL APPLIANCE OF DEATH to take over. Powerslam gets two. Mack in with a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER for two. Miscommunication leads to a pair of superkicks, hot tag Wilson. Dropkick and German suplex for Nowinski, and he hits a big elbow for two (posing on the top like Benoit when he does -- bonus points for stealing from good wrestlers). Mack chokes him down from behind, and both men hit the ref. It's BONZO GONZO until Alexis Laree rushes the ring and DDTs Mack, allowing Wilson the pin at 7:22. Just warmups for everyone involved. *1/2

- Things get interesting backstage, as Rhyno GORE GORE GORES the living hell out of Chris Jericho and proclaims he'll leave the company if he doesn't win the four-way match. Jericho had better be ready, because the Road to the Rumble apparently begins now. Well, they can either go the obvious route, the swerve, or the swerved swerve. That would Rhyno wins, Rhyno loses and is off-camera, or Rhyno loses and reveals he was lying, in that order. My money's on the third option. Or the first. Whatever. As long as Benoit and Jericho still get to go sixty minutes on Sunday.

- Evolution v. Shawn Michaels, Booker T, and Scott Hall. That would be Orton, Batista, and Shane on the heel side, as David Flair can't even get on TV in his father's backyard. That's how low on the totem pole the poor sap is. It's a Pier Six to start, as Orton and Michaels brawl quickly to the back and fight amongst security during the match. In the ring, Hall gets a fallaway slam on Batista, leading to Booker getting the tiptoe kneedrop and missile dropkick for two. Shane superkicks Booker, making him YOUR brutha-in-peril, and Batista gets a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER for two. He HITS THE CHINLOCK as we take a break. We come back with Batista getting a Powerslam for two and going ground and pound. Shane to the top, but the Picture Perfect Elbow misses. Hot tag Hall, and he runs Shane across the ring. Orton makes a grand return with Shawn hot on his tail, and the two continue fighting, leading to a Pier Six. Razor's Edge, axe kick, Demon Bomb, spinaroonie, RKO -- not necessarily in that order, but you get the idea -- and that leaves Orton and Hall, and Orton gets Play of the Day and a figure-four for the win at 12:02. All over the damn place. **

- Meanwhile, we continue fast-forward mode as Maven and Tracy talk about their upcoming matches with HHH. Tracy seems to be taking a liking to Maven. Considering how well her LAST love interest went, I'd be a little wary.

- Maven v. Triple H. HHH slaps around Maven to start, getting a kneelift for two. He goes straight to the chinlock, acting like this match is totally beneath him. Maven powers out and hits the DROPKICK OF DOOM, which is pretty much no-sold by HHH. Lovely. HHH bails, so Maven tries a baseball slide, only to get yanked out and pounded. Gee, can you tell when Hunter's in a bad mood? Only got yourself to blame. Back in, HHH tries KICK WHAM PEDIGREE and pauses for an extra 30 seconds, but Tracy runs down and distracts Hunter, leading to a rollup for the pin at 4:31. Can't you just tell when he's dogging it? -*

- Molly and Christian agree that, no matter what happens on Sunday, there will be no hard feelings. That's nice.

- World Tag title match: Sting and Chris Harris v. Tracy and Trish Stratus. No, apparently, this match IS being put on with a straight face. Harris and Tracy start, and Harris dominates with grappling before trying a suplex. Trish in, and Harris fakes a lariat, only to be hit with a DDT. Tracy gets a rana for two as the announcers wonder if it's possible there will be an upset. Sting in, and he and Trish do a chain sequence that ends with Sting throwing himself in a belly-to-boob suplex for two. Trish with the handstand rana for two. Sting catches Trish in a powerslam and press slam, and Harris enters with a Sharpshooter. Tracy breaks it, and the women get a double suplex for two. Tracy tries Pie in the Sky, but Harris catches her in the Catatonic to finish at 5:11. Shockingly good. *3/4 I'm not sure I'm a fan of the women mixing it up with the men, but hey, the Cruisers are holding their own on SmackDown!, so more power to them.

- And now, set to the official theme of Armageddon this year ("How Bad Do You Want It?" by Tim McGraw), we present YOUR Armageddon rundown:

* Main event, Iron Man match, World Title: Some guy v. Some other guy

* Intercontinental title: Chris Nowinski v. Lance Storm

* World Tag Team titles: Sting and Chris Harris v. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

* Handicap match: HHH v. Trish Stratus and Tracy

* Shawn Michaels v. Randy Orton

* #1 Contenders Match: Molly Holly v. Kane v. Christian v. Rhyno

- It's almost literally a one-match show, folks. But that one match is gonna be GOOD.

- Meanwhile, Eric Bischoff and Chris Benoit hold an Evolution huddle, saying they have a plan.

- Main event: Molly Holly and Christian v. Kane and Rhyno. Christian hesitates before starting, awaiting one or the other of the heels to begin, and when Rhyno does he blitzes him. German suplex, and in comes Molly with a missile dropkick for one. Kane grabs Molly, but Christian chop blocks him and Molly gets a superkick on Kane. Rhyno tries the GOAR GOAR GOAR, but Molly vaults it. Faces get a double suplex on Rhyno, and Molly tries the Molly-Go-Round but gets powerbombed to become chick-in-peril. Kane pounds away on her face to big-time heat (well, some things are sacred), then gets a lariat and diving clothesline for two. Rhyno is ready to GOAR GOAR GOAR, but Molly charges as well and undercuts Rhyno, sending him flying into the post. Hot tag Christian, who gets the Rear Naked Stretch on Rhyno and a reverse DDT on Kane. Double clothesline by Christian, and the faces add a Rocket Launcher for their troubles. It's BONZO GONZO as Evolution flood ringside and brutalize Christian, leaving Molly open for the GOAR GOAR GOAR to finish at 7:31. *3/4 A huge beating follows, but Chris Jericho brandishes a chair for the save. Benoit and Jericho go to town, with neither man able to get anything without a reversal, and both men hitting a double clothesline as we go off the air.

The Bottom Line:

Benoit. Jericho. Sixty minutes.

What, like there's anything else to add?

*****

PREDICTION CONTEST TIME!

Winner gets to help make the End-Of-Year shows (We're giving people extra time off, and the Biloxi and New Orleans shows will be called off as a result). Best of RAW and Best of SmackDown! will both be two-hour shows, so bear that in mind. We have 7 weeks until the Royal Rumble is upon us (game time) and with the Year In Review shows and USO shows, that's 5 buildup weeks. Just saying. Not that it matters. Anyway, let's get to the prediction contest.

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

2. Final score of the Iron Man match?

3. #1 Contenders Match: Christian vs. Kane vs. Molly Holly vs. Rhyno

4. Who takes the fall?

5. Intercontinental Title: Christopher Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm

6. World Tag Team Titles: Sting and Chris Harris © vs. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

7. Who is the mystery partner?

8. Who pins whom?

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy

10. Which woman is involved in the fall?

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

12. What will Evolution do at Armageddon (that, presumably, they've been planning)?

All right, folks, there you have it. I expect some good guessing out of y'all. Remember: big prize on the offering. Show will be up Wednesday.

Dukes

[Jam]

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

2. Final score of the Iron Man match? 4-3

3. #1 Contenders Match: Christian vs. Kane vs. Molly Holly vs. Rhyno

4. Who takes the fall? Kane

5. Intercontinental Title: Christopher Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm

6. World Tag Team Titles: Sting and Chris Harris © vs. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

7. Who is the mystery partner? Rene Dupree

8. Who pins whom? Grenier over Harris

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy

10. Which woman is involved in the fall? Trish

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

12. What will Evolution do at Armageddon (that, presumably, they've been planning)? Screw Michaels?

[TMM]

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

2. Final score of the Iron Man match? 2-1

3. #1 Contenders Match: Christian vs. Kane vs. Molly Holly vs. Rhyno

4. Who takes the fall? Molly Holly

5. Intercontinental Title: Christopher Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm

6. World Tag Team Titles: Sting and Chris Harris © vs. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

7. Who is the mystery partner? Rene Dupree

8. Who pins whom? Harris pins Dupree

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy

10. Which woman is involved in the fall? Tracy

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

12. What will Evolution do at Armageddon (that, presumably, they've been planning)? Um...make Molly a member..I'dunno!!

[DonaldMick]

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

2. 3-2 Benoit.

3. #1 Contenders Match: Christian vs. Kane vs. Molly Holly vs. Rhyno

4. Rhyno

5. Intercontinental Title: Christopher Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm

6. World Tag Team Titles: Sting and Chris Harris © vs. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

7. Although I'm tempted to say Pat Patterson, it'll probably be the returning Rene Dupree.

8. Sting pins Grenier.

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy

10. Trish Stratus

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

12. Boot Benoit to the curb.

[Guest Azrael]

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit retains

2. Final score of the Iron Man match? 1-0

3. #1 Contenders Match: Rhyno

4. Who takes the fall? Christian

5. Intercontinental Title: Lance Storm

6. World Tag Team Titles: Grenier & The Mystery Partner

7. Who is the mystery partner? Lash LeRoux

8. Who pins whom? Suzuki pins Harris

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy: T & T

10. Which woman is involved in the fall? Trish

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels: Randy Orton

12. What will Evolution do at Armageddon (that, presumably, they've been planning)? End the show with a beat down of Jericho, Michaels, Molly and anybody else that chooses to get involved

Edited January 26, 2005 by Azrael

[K.O.T.W]

Ok, here we go.

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

2. Final score of the Iron Man match? 2-1

3. #1 Contenders Match: Christian vs. Kane vs. Molly Holly vs. Rhyno

4. Who takes the fall? Molly

5. Intercontinental Title: Christopher Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm

6. World Tag Team Titles: Sting and Chris Harris © vs. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

7. Who is the mystery partner? Patterson! Nah, I'll say Dupree

8. Who pins whom? Dupree pins Harris

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy

10. Which woman is involved in the fall? Trish

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

12. What will Evolution do at Armageddon (that, presumably, they've been planning)? Get a new member.

[tristy]

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

2. Final score of the Iron Man match? 3 falls (Benoit) to 2 falls (Jericho)

3. #1 Contenders Match: Christian vs. Kane vs. Molly Holly vs. Rhyno

4. Who takes the fall? Rhyno

5. Intercontinental Title: Christopher Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm

6. World Tag Team Titles: Sting and Chris Harris © vs. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

7. Who is the mystery partner? Shit, fuck it. I'll go with the popular vote and say Dupree

8. Who pins whom? Sting pins Dupree, just because.

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy

10. Which woman is involved in the fall? Tracy

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

12. What will Evolution do at Armageddon (that, presumably, they've been planning)? Finally kill (read: beat-down) Molly Holly for good.

For the love of god Dukes, push Christian!

[oldskool]

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

2. Final score of the Iron Man match? Jericho 5, Benoit 4

3. #1 Contenders Match: Christian vs. Kane vs. Molly Holly vs. Rhyno

4. Who takes the fall? Molly

5. Intercontinental Title: Christopher Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm

6. World Tag Team Titles: Sting and Chris Harris © vs. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

7. Who is the mystery partner? Rob Conway

8. Who pins whom? Grenier pins Harris

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy

10. Which woman is involved in the fall? Trish

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

12. What will Evolution do at Armageddon (that, presumably, they've been planning)? Attack Molly Holly

[Kane's Mullet Slacker]

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

2. Final score of the Iron Man match? 2 - 1

3. #1 Contenders Match: Christian vs. Kane vs. Molly Holly vs. Rhyno

4. Who takes the fall? Rhyno

5. Intercontinental Title: Christopher Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm

6. World Tag Team Titles: Sting and Chris Harris © vs. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

7. Who is the mystery partner? Rob Conway

8. Who pins whom? Grenier pins Harris

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy

10. Which woman is involved in the fall? Trish

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

12. What will Evolution do at Armageddon (that, presumably, they've been planning)? Take out Molly

[Skummy]

1. WORLD TITLE, IRON MAN MATCH: Chris Benoit © vs. Chris Jericho

2. Final score of the Iron Man match? 3 - 2, after a time limit draw

I think it's too soon for Benoit to be dropping the title just yet...as for the time limit draw, that's just a gut feeling

3. #1 Contenders Match: Christian vs. Kane vs. Molly Holly vs. Rhyno

4. Who takes the fall? Christian

Rhyno's almost there as filler in the whole Molly Holly storyline, to be honest, and I can't see Molly picking up or taking the pinfall, so I say Kane will win after Christian takes a bullet for her

5. Intercontinental Title: Christopher Nowinski © vs. Lance Storm

I just think it's finally time for Lance to win!

6. World Tag Team Titles: Sting and Chris Harris © vs. Sylvain Grenier and ?? ?? ??

7. Who is the mystery partner? Lash LeRoux

8. Who pins whom? Grenier pins Sting...just because

I'm assuming the mystery partner will be a debutant, WWE is apparently interested in signing Kenzo Suzuki and Lash LeRoux, so I thought it would be one or the other, and I can see Lash trying to be passed off as a Frenchman, and he might be able to pull Grenier into a watchable tag team. And I reckon they'll win just because Grenier's on the up, jobbing out a debutant is never a good idea, and Sting's career's coming to a close soon whilst Harris needs more singles work.

9. HHH vs. Trish Stratus and Tracy

10. Which woman is involved in the fall? Trish

His career might be spiralling down the proverbial toilet, but I can't see Trippers being jobbed out to Trish and Tracy just yet. Although I do sense a possible screwjob in the works...who by, I don't know yet. To be honest, I don't know what's going to happen here.

11. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

What can I say, I'm an Orton mark in Dukes' bizzaro-world!

12. What will Evolution do at Armageddon (that, presumably, they've been planning)? Hmm...I'm not sure. I'm not seeing the Molly Holly beatdown everyone else suggests...I think perhaps kick someone out? David Flair? Maybe even, *gasp*, Randy himself?!

I'm looking forward to this show in any event, all the matches are pretty unorthodox and it'll be interesting to see how you write them up.

Edited January 25, 2005 by Skumfrog

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarKDown! Rant for Dec. 09 / 04, taped Dec. 07.

- From Charlotte, NC.

- Your hosts are Michael Cole and James E. Cornette.

- Opening match: Mike Barton v. Ron Simmons. Apparently they're serious about this Simmons push, as Barton is a nice JTTS to keep around for purposes like this. Barton boxes Simmons' ears and tries a suplex, but Simmons reverses to a front suplex and pounds the ribs. Shoulder thrusts in the corner lead to a blind charge that misses, and Barton gets a back suplex to take over. He punches the back of the head and sends Simmons into the corner, but a blind charge meets an Angry Man Spinebuster for two. Three-point lariat gets two. Barton catches a charging Simmons and tries the TKO, but Simmons lands on his feet (in a sequence that looked rather awkward) and catches a spinning Barton in a powerslam for the pin at 4:53. 3/4*

- Okay, this better be good...

The RTC -- Steven Richards, Sean Morley, and Bull Buchanan -- are in the ring. Steven has the mic.

Steven: "Last week, the Right to Censor was reminded that their hard work in upholding the moral standards of America was not for naught. Our tireless effort in fighting the good fight was not without reward, as last week we received a convert. And now, this week, I present him to you. This is a man who had received independent wealth, and who was on the road to ruin by squandering it before we led him to see the light. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the newest member of the Right to Censor -- Mr. Jonathan Bradshaw!"

As the sirens play again, Bradshaw emerges from the back, wearing not just the RTC garb, but a suitcoat over it. He steps into the ring and shakes hands with his new associates.

Steven: "Mr. Bradshaw, welcome to the side of good. And thank you for renouncing your ways and turning to the path of righteousness."

Bradshaw: "Mr. Richards, I thank you for showing me the error of what I was doing. At this time, I have a message, not just to all of you out there who are headed down the path of moral depravity, but specifically to a man I once called my friend.

Ron Simmons, you are no friend of mine. You are not good enough to be a friend of mine. Thanks to my association with you, I had become embroiled in the arts of demonic rituals. After that, we became nothing more than soulless beings, selling our services to the highest bidder like a pair of prostitutes. When that didn't go anywhere, we became shells of ourselves. Ron, look at what our business was all about -- delving into the cesspool of gambling and alcoholism, losing all faith in ourselves and all direction in our lives.

Well, I found direction, Ron. It started through my association with the real world -- the business world. People began to respect me for my opinions, but they demanded I become a better human being. So I did all the right things, Ron -- I stopped gambling as much; I changed my attitude and my wardrobe -- you noticed! You told me about these! But what did you say? You asked if something was WRONG with me! No, Ron, something's wrong with you!

I found myself torn in two directions -- loyalty to you and professionalism for my new job. It took these people right here to help me see the truth! And the truth is, Ron, you were taking me down the wrong path. You were holding me back. That's why I left you in the dust, Ron. It was not professional jealousy. It had nothing to do with your title shot. If you had won, I would've applauded. But Ron, I can't be around you. I gotta be around positive influences. And that's why I'm here.

Now, with the help of the Right to Censor, I will live a good life. I will be a strong role model and an influential citizen. I will not just fight the good fight, but I will live the good life. And Ron, when I'm on top, I might just come back and help you out of whatever gutter you're destined to land in. But you'll have to show me that you deserve to be rescued. If you keep living the lie, I'll have to leave you in my past -- next to every other bad thing I've ever done."

Bradshaw is FINALLY interrupted by "Ch-Check It Out", as 3 Live Kru emerge from the back. Road Dogg has the mic.

Dogg: "Wait a second. I just want to understand one thing, Jon. So you're saying you made this decision a long time ago... which means you had to know whose side you were really on at the beginning of the night! Well, let me show you some footage."

We see footage of last week, where Bradshaw accidentally (at least, that's what we thought at the time) nails Road Dogg in a six-man against RTC, leading to the loss.

Dogg: "Now, I ain't the brightest guy in the world, and God knows I've killed a few brain cells in my day, but here you are as a part of RTC, and there you were helping them get the win! Where I come from, Jon, that's a setup! And I ain't about to stand aside and let you set me up! So how's about I come in there and show you that while you may think you're on the path of good actions, you still gotta pay for one last sin!"

- The Kru charges the ring, and after a bunch of scrambling around, Roddy Piper emerges and drags Michael Cole into duty for an...

- Impromptu Match: Road Dogg v. Jonathan Bradshaw. Piper, Cornette, and Richards call this match, which makes for a VERY interesting dynamic to say the least. Bradshaw clubs away on Dogg at the beginning, throwing him into a slam and fistdrop for two. Dogg ducks a standing clothesline and punches away, getting the Jump, Jive and Wail punch for two. He slugs does some ground and pound, then tosses Bradshaw, allowing from Kru shenanigans. Buchanan rushes over and decimates Konnan to get even, and in the ring, Dogg misses the shaky kneedrop. Bradshaw with the Clothesline from Hell (which will likely need to be renamed) for two. Dogg survives the fallaway slam (for two), then gets a DDT and tries a piledriver. Bradshaw backdrops out and backs Dogg into the corner for shoulder thrusts. He slugs him down and gets an inverted atomic drop, and a powerbomb finishes at 5:22. Okay start to singles pushes for both APA members, but don't they have someone UNDER 30 they can put on top? *1/4

- The Dangerous Alliance have a team meeting. Heyman tells Ultimo not to worry -- he'll counteract whatever surprise Shannon Ward has been telling people about off-camera. In retrospect, that probably wasn't going to work. Meanwhile, there's a tag match on its way, and Colt vows to make Team Angle realize he is legit.

- Tajiri and Scott Colt v. World's Greatest Tag Team. It's a huge four-way donnybrook to start, as Colt gets a monkey flip on Shelton and Tajiri blasts Haas with a throat thrust and roundhouse. Heels collide, and Tajiri gets a karate rush, backing Haas into a Colt rollup for two. Shelton charges and gets BAAAAAAAAAAAACK bodydropped right over the top rope, where Tajiri baseball slides him. In the ring, Haas and Colt fight over a pinfall reversal sequence, broken up when Tajiri hits the Buzzsaw kick on Haas. Shelton saves, but the faces get a double-team neckbreaker, and Colt dives in with a slingshot legdrop for two. FINALLY, Tajiri climbs up Haas's back, only to have Shelton dive off with the Doomsday Device to make Tajiri YOUR face-in-peril. Haas returns the Buzzsaw Kick for two, then hits an armbar as we take a break. We return with Shelton getting a release German suplex for two. Haas enters and gets a backbreaker and swinging neckbreaker for two. Leapfrog choke gets two. Shelton catches Tajiri in a T-Bone for two. To the top, but the 450 misses. Tajiri is too tired to make the tag, however, and Haas runs in and rolls Tajiri up for two. Abdominal stretch (with requisite cheating) follows, but the ref breaks it and Tajiri wiggles free and nails Haas in the throat. He doesn't tag, opting to hit the Tarantula instead, and as the ref checks with Haas, Shelton calmly nails Tajiri in the head with the ring bell. WGTT switch off, and Shelton gets something dangerously close to a backdrop driver for two. Tajiri lands a superkick out of nowhere, then blasts Shelton with a second roundhouse to escape for good. Hot tag Colt, who suplexes both men and gets the DOUBLE NOGGIN-KNOCKER OF DOOM. Colt 45 to Shelton, but Haas saves and it's BONZO GONZO. Double clothesline by the DA2K4, but Haas enters and blasts Tajiri with an ezuigiri. Colt tosses Shelton and hits a plancha, but that leaves Haas and Tajiri alone, and an Angle Slam finishes things at 15:44. PPV quality, baby. **** Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, and Mike Barton emerge to applaud their charges and make general threats to anyone who would dare oppose them. Like, say, Eric Angle. Just to name names.

- WWE United States title: Nathan Jones v. Ultimo Dragon. Speaking of PPV quality, this likely won't be. Ultimo climbs to the top and moonsaults in on Jones AND Ward to start, trying to neutralize her. A series of chops in the corner follow, then he tries a whip, but Nathan won't budge. Ultimo bounces off the ropes, but a crossbody is socked out of midair for two. Jones goes ground and pound on Ultimo, then picks him up and nails a backfist for two. He tosses Ultimo onto the guardrail FROM THE RING, then follows and whips him into the STEEL steps. Back in, big boot gets two. Nathan steps on Ultimo's throat, then switches to a more conventional choke. CLAWHOLD~! wears Ultimo down and leads to a pinning predicament for two. K-1 KO try, but Ultimo blocks the first shot and fires back. He goes to the top and lands a Steamboat-style karate chop for two. Thrust kick and Tajiri karate rush cause Nathan to bail, so Ultimo gets the Asai moonsault as the crowd goes nuts. Back in, Ultimo goes with a roundhouse and tries the Asai DDT, but Nathan catches him and javelins him into the corner. He tries to rip Ultimo's mask off, but Ultimo fights away and bails to re-adjust his hood. Nathan follows and goes to drop Ultimo on the guardrail, but Ultimo slides down his back and Nathan trips over Ultimo and into the apron. Ultimo then hits a missile dropkick off the guardrail onto Nathan. Back in, Ultimo gets the Asai DDT to finish, but Ward distracts the ref. Heyman pulls her down and gets into a, er, catfight (sort of) with Ward, causing Ultimo to get up and stare in disbelief. He goes to the top to finish Nathan, but Kenzo Suzuki (not named yet) races in and yanks him down, then hits a Shining Wizard on Ultimo dead-on. Ultimo is DEAD, done, forgettaboutit, toe-tagged, pushing up daisies, and Nathan revives long enough to stand him up and Punt him for good measure to win at 11:32. Well, shut my mouth, just the right timing from Nathan and a lot of bumping from Ultimo makes this Jonesy's best match in his WWE tenure. **1/4 Ward and Nathan introduce Kenzo post-match. Ultimo bites the baggie and spits up blood from the Suzuki hit.

- Billy Kidman v. Undertaker v. Eddie Guerrero. Winner goes against Matt at the Royal Rumble. Taker and Eddie pinball Kidman to start, but Kidman ducks an Eddie right cross and gets a headscissors to send him to the outside. He then turns and nails a flying choke on Taker, pounding away at him, until Eddie comes back and rolls Kidman up for two. Taker walks the ropes and nails both little guys, then picks up Kidman for a powerslam for two. Eddie knocks over Taker and gets the El Paso Lasso, but Kidman dives off the top with a legdrop to break, then whips Eddie into Taker. Torrie holds the urn up, and Taker complies by throwing Kidman to the outside and suplexing Eddie. Kidman returns with a springboard dropkick on Taker, allowing Eddie to roll him up for two. Rolling verticals by Eddie on Taker, but Kidman catches Eddie with a Kid Krusher for two. He goes up, but Taker sits up and throws him off. Chokeslam, but Eddie dives in with a frog splash to break up the pin. Eddie clotheslines Taker out, but Torrie appears to revive him with the POWER OF THE URN. And if green smoke starts pouring out, I will shoot someone. Kidman grabs Torrie, but Taker nails Kidman with the urn and tosses him back in. Tombstone seems ready to finish, but Eddie dropkicks Taker and Kidman lands on top for two. Eddie gets DDTs on both men and covers Kidman, but Torrie (who a reader has noted is essentially one bad dye job away from being Shannon Ward's stunt double) distracts the ref. That's actually good subtle booking, and the announcers even note that keeping Eddie from winning benefits both Kidman AND Taker and leaves her loyalties torn. Taker gets up first and grabs Eddie for a powerbomb, but Kidman trips Taker from behind and Eddie pulls out a sweet dropkick in mid-flight, sending Taker to the floor. Eddie then thanks Kidman with a brainbuster and Frog Splash for three at 9:24. Matt/Eddie with PPV time? Again? I'm down with that. *3/4

- A SWEET video package from the Survivor Series sets up...

- Main event, WWE Title: Matt Hardy v. Rey Misterio. Matt tosses Rey to the outside to start, getting the Railrunner early. Back in, Matt with a gutwrench suplex, but Rey reverses to an armdrag and rana for two. Matt fires off a dropkick on Rey, but a blind charge misses and Rey gets a spinning armdrag to send Matt to the outside. Somersault plancha follows, and back in, Rey Drops the Dime for two. Matt rakes the eyes to take over, and a koppo kick and German suplex get two. He goes to a leglock to slow Rey down, but Rey reverses to a cradle for two, kicking off a pinfall reversal sequence. Matt ends that with a lariat and hits a rolling front chancery. Rey fights out of it, only to get nailed with a Guillotine DDT. Rey makes the ropes. Back to an Indian deathlock and bridge as we go to break. We come back with Matt dropping a knee on a knee and getting a legbar. Rey kicks away with his other leg, then gets a handspring elbow as he seemingly ignores the legwork. To the top, but Rey comes up pitifully short on whatever and blames the knee. That's better. Matt attacks by slamming the knee on the canvas, then tries a dragon screw, only to get enzuigiri'd. He falls into the ropes by the corner, so it's 6-1-9 time, but Matt dodges and Rey swings straight into the ringpost! Yeeouch. And CLEARLY that's gonna be more than any man can take, so Matt slaps on a figure-four for the tapout at 8:54. That's about as close as we'd ever get to a Flair/Rey match, and Matt as a poor man's Flair wasn't bad. A nice tribute to Flair here in Charlotte. **1/2

The Bottom Line:

Well, the tradition of counterprogramming your "opponent's" big show continues, as we get a major turn explained, a decent debut, and a good blowoff to the Ultimo/Jones feud, as Nathan looks more and more like a wrestler each week. Add on a beautiful tag match and some solid legwork in the main event, and you really can't ask for much more than this.

Unless you're asking for Benoit and Jericho for 60 minutes, in which case, tune in Sunday.

*****

December 12, 2004

HeAT, Atlanta, GA

"Evolution" by Motorhead plays over the PA as the B-team of Evolution heads out.

Garcia: "The following is a six-man tag team contest scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 783 pounds, the team of Batista, Michael Shane, and David Flair of Evolution!"

The tires screech as the Cubano music of Scott Hall starts up. He stands at the entrance hitting his pose as a shower of sparks falls behind him.

Garcia: "And their opponents: first, from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 270 pounds, Scott Hall!"

He walks to the end of the aisleway, at which point "Can You Dig It, Sucka?" starts up Booker T's Houston Heat music. Booker emerges from the back and stares at his hand. He shakes it, nods, and sets off the pyro. As Booker heads to the ring, the announcers wonder what will happen now that Tommy Dreamer (the scheduled third man) was blasted by Batista with a shovel and is not medically cleared to step into the ring.

Garcia: "Also, from Houston, Texas, weighing in at 255 pounds, Booker T!"

T and Hall wait at the edge of the ramp as "This Is Extreme" starts up. Stacy steps through the curtain, slowly, making sure to show her legs off as she does so. She walks to where Booker and Hall are standing and calls a huddle. Evolution laugh in the ring as Shane takes the mic.

Shane: "What's this? You goin' handicap? I guess Stacy's the replacement, boys! Now remember, go easy on her -- she's likely to snap in half at any minute!"

Evolution keep laughing until Booker, Hall, and Stacy break the huddle, and the guys do the nWo point to the back. "This Is Extreme" starts up again, and an old face makes its return to the WWE. Evolution immediately stop laughing -- in fact, Shane looks like he's seeing a ghost.

Garcia: "And from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing 230 pounds, Sick Nick Mondo!"

Mondo high-fives both men, and the trio rush the ring as Garcia vacates.

Evolution (Batista, Michael Shane, and David Flair) vs. Booker T, Scott Hall, and Nick Mondo (w/Stacy Keibler)

Everyone pairs off to start, as Hall takes Batista, Booker chops away on Flair, and Shane and Mondo duel. Mondo and Hall are about to be whipped together, but they do the do-si-do and Hall sends Mondo flying into Shane. Booker slams down Flair and gets the tiptoe kneedrop, but as he stands up, Batista runs him over with a lariat. Batista leaves as Flair DDTs Booker for two. Flair brings Shane in, and the two do a double suplex for two. Shane gets a belly-to-belly to send Booker into the heel corner, then charges in with a monkey flip.

Batista enters and spinebusters Booker. He covers for two. Batista tosses Booker into the corner and tags Flair back in. Batista hiptosses Booker out of the corner, and David struts over to kneedrop Booker. He covers for two. He slugs away at Booker, sending him into a neutral corner and whipping him across the ring. Flair charges, but Booker sidesteps and Flair Flips over the top to the outside. Booker goes to tag, but Shane enters the ring and clips him as Batista helps Flair recover on the outside. Shane takes over with a rana on Booker T, then dropkicks him. He exits as Flair returns, and Flair gets an elbowdrop and hits the chinlock.

Booker slowly fights to his feet. He elbows out of the hold, then bounces off the ropes, only to get tripped by Batista. He turns around to argue, allowing Flair to roll Booker up (with feet on the ropes) for two. Flair tags in Shane, who climbs to the top rope as Booker gets to his feet. Shane tries a missile dropkick, but Booker ducks and Shane crashes to the mat. Booker bounces off the ropes as Shane gets up and hits him with an axe kick. He heads over to his corner as his partners hold out their hands, and although Batista gets in, Booker makes it to tag in Mondo.

Mondo springboards in with a clothesline on Batista and pounds away, sending him into the ropes and hitting a back body drop. Shane charges Mondo, but gets nailed with a tilt-a-whirl slam for his troubles. Batista tries again, but Mondo boots him. Batista lands in the ropes, so Mondo climbs to the apron and hits the Sledgehammer Legdrop. On the outside, though, Flair sneak attacks Mondo, leading to Hall prying him off. The action spills into the ring, and all six men are at it again.

Booker and Hall whip Batista into the ropes, and Booker catches him with a spinebuster. Booker looks at his hand, nods, and executes the Spinaroonie to his feet. He goes for the axe kick, but Shane pulls him to the outside. Flair catches Hall from behind with a clip and stands over Hall, looking for a figure-four. As he turns around, however, Mondo leaps off the top and nails the M.Bison Attack on Flair. He picks Flair up from behind and balances him on his shoulders, scoring the Assault Driver. He holds the cover, and that gets the win.

WINNERS: Booker T, Scott Hall, and Nick Mondo (11:06)

[The Third Dukes]

One World Leader. Entertainment.

Garcia: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome country music legend Tim McGraw!"

The crowd cheers as Tim and the Dancehall Doctors are set up on stage.

McGraw: "Thank you, Atlanta! We got a little song for you tonight. It's somethin' every man in the back needs to ask... specially those two guys who are gonna beat each other down for one hour straight. Let's hit it boys."

HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT

by

TIM McGRAW and the DANCEHALL DOCTORS

Robert Johnson went to the crossroads

(So the legend goes).

He left with his guitar,

and the devil took his soul;

the devil took his soul...

Been out here on this highway

Breathing diesel smoke;

Driving hard for hours

Trying to make that Memphis show.

People always ask me

"Son what does it take

To reach out and touch your dreams?"

To them I always say:

Are you hungry?

Are you thirsty?

Is it a fire

That burns you up inside?

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming

With that one thing on your mind?

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Cause if you want it all you've got to

Lay it all out on the line!

I get to make my living

Doing what I love.

Every night I give my heart and soul.

Sometimes that ain't enough.

But brother, if you're like me

Looking down that road,

Be careful of that wild wind, son;

Sometimes it don't let go.

Can you feel it?

Can you taste it?

Can you hear it

Knocking at your door?

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming

With that one thing on your mind?

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Cause if you want it all you've got to

Lay it all out on the line!

There's always a price you pay

No matter what you do.

If you're gonna climb that mountain to the top,

It always comes down to...

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming

With that one thing on your mind?

How bad do you want it?

How bad do you need it?

Cause if you want it all you've got to

Lay it all out on the line!

Robert Johnson went to the crossroads

(So the legend goes).

He left with his guitar,

and the devil took his soul;

the devil took his soul.

The crowd cheers as we fade to black, then the opening proper.

We see the empty gym where the "Tell Me I'm Fake" ads are filmed. We cut to two separate doors. First, we see Chris Benoit walk through the door, World Title around his waist. We then see Chris Jericho enter through the opposite door. They both head to the ring, with the camera focusing no whoever's voice we hear in the background.

Benoit: "I was trained in the basement of a man known for breaking limbs."

Jericho: "I had to be man of the house with an absentee father."

Benoit: "I couldn't get anyone to notice me until I left the country."

Jericho: "I wrestled with a broken arm and a cut needing 100 stitches."

Benoit: "I broke a man's neck in a match, and had to act like I liked it."

Jericho: "I was reduced to being a loner and a whiner."

Benoit: "I watched two of my best friends die from the life I chose."

Jericho: "I heard people tell me I didn't belong, that I was not good enough."

Benoit: "I forfeited a match rather than compromise my principles."

Jericho: "I was held responsible for another man's injury and punished."

Benoit: "I broke my neck on national television."

Jericho: "I tore up my leg on national television."

Benoit: "I am the current World Heavyweight champion."

Jericho: "I am the future World Heavyweight champion."

Benoit: "I am in the greatest condition of my life."

Jericho: "I have never felt stronger or more ready than I do now."

Benoit: "My name is Chris Benoit."

Jericho: "My name is Chris Jericho."

Benoit: "And after I fight for sixty minutes..."

Jericho: "You'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt..."

Both: "I am not fake."

Fade to black.

And now... WWE RAW presents:

Armageddon

IF THIS IS ARMAGEDDON WE'D BETTER REMEMBER TO SET OFF ALL OUR PYRO as we come to you live from the Lost Colony of Atlanta, Georgia, home of Badstreet. Sign in the crowd: "This Could Have Been You WCW". I wonder if Vince ordered that to be put on camera. Good times!

JR: "Two great champions, and two great warriors, will enter the ring tonight and duel for the biggest prize we have in the most difficult match we have! Benoit - Jericho - Iron Man! This is Armageddon! Jim Ross here, alongside Diamond Dallas Page, and are you ready for the biggest ride of your life?"

DDP: "Oh, you know it, Jimbo, you just know it. We are in for a rollercoaster here as two men fight for superiority over one - full - hour! The man with more decisions -- Benoit or Jericho -- becomes the World Heavyweight Champion!"

The Texas Tornado's old music (now Chris Harris' music) plays as we go to Lillian Garcia for intros.

Garcia: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it is for the World Tag Team Championships! Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 484 pounds, the World Tag Team Champions, Chris Harris and Sting!"

JR: "It was at Halloween Havoc that these two friends became the World Tag Team Champions! Tonight, they face a stiff challenge, in that they only know one man they're going against!"

DDP: "Yeah, and ya gotta wonder why they'd agree to a match like this. I mean, it's pretty dangerous to agree to face a team you have no chance to scout, Jim. But hey, they're fighting champions!"

The decidedly French music of La Résistance starts up as Sylvain Grenier and Lucille LaChienne emerge from the back. Grenier waves the French flag high.

Garcia: "And their opponents, first: being accompanied by Lucille LaChienne, from Paris, France, weighing in at 240 pounds, he is a member of La Résistance, Sylvain Grenier!"

Grenier enters the ring and waves the flag. He takes the mic from Lillian.

Grenier: "I'll do this in English, even though you Southern Americans would think that a foreign language... Pardonnez-moi, I know not what hick dialect you would prefer. Allow me to introduce to you a man who knows all about being in a tag team. He is a man who will help me reclaim the World Tag Team titles."

Grenier pauses.

Grenier: "Did I say me? I meant us. Ladies and gentilhommes, making his RAW return, I give you M. René Dupree!"

The French music starts up again as René Dupree, looking REALLY good (and I'm comfortable enough to say he looks sexy -- not that there's anything wrong with that), heads to the ring. La Res shares a very French group hug as they talk strategy. Sting and Harris also discuss their options, and eventually Grenier and Sting will start.

World Tag Team Title match: Sting and Chris Harris (champions) vs. La Résistance (challengers)

They lock up, and Sting gets a headlock. Grenier shoves him off, but Sting rebounds with a shoulderblock. Both men get up, and Sting gives Grenier an inverted atomic drop. Dupree enters, but Harris cuts him off with a lariat. Sting and Harris whip Grenier into the ropes and nail a double elbowsmash. Harris bounces off the ropes and gets a legdrop on Grenier.

Sting picks Grenier up and throws him into the corner, charging in and hitting a Stinger splash. Grenier staggers out, and Sting readies for the Deathdrop, but Lucille whacks Sting’s ankle with the flagpole. Sting turns to face her, so Dupree runs in and tackles Sting down. Grenier picks Sting up for a piledriver, but Sting backdrops out of it and tags in Harris. Sting puts Grenier on his shoulders, and Harris dives off with a bodypress. He maintains the cover for two before Dupree breaks.

As Sting is sent to his corner, La Res pick Harris up and get a double suplex. Dupree then lifts Grenier up and front suplexes him onto Harris. Dupree leaves as the referee turns around, and the cover gets two. Grenier complains before slapping the back of Harris’s head. He backs Harris into the corner and tags Dupree in.

Grenier hooks an abdominal stretch as Dupree lands a superkick to Harris’s shoulder area. Harris collapses in a heap, and Dupree keeps the advantage, picking Harris up and hitting a backbreaker. He covers for two. Dupree puts Harris in the corner and chops away at him. He whips Harris across the ring, then follows in with a clothesline. Harris falls to the mat, so Dupree stands over him, does a French dance, and bounces off the ropes twice, landing a diving elbowdrop. He covers for two.

Dupree picks Harris up and puts on a chinlock. Harris struggles in the hold before getting slowly to his feet. He backs Dupree into the La Res corner, allowing Grenier a blind tag. Harris elbows out of the chinlock, but Grenier turns Harris around and DDTs him. He covers for two. Grenier picks Harris up and sends him into the ropes, but puts his head down. Harris kicks Grenier in the head, bounces off the ropes, and spears him down. Both men crawl for the tag, and Dupree and Sting enter at the same time.

Sting punches away on both Frenchmen, backing them both up into the same corner and Stinger splashing both. As they stagger out, he grabs both their heads and delivers a noggin-knocker. Grenier rolls to the outside as Sting trips Dupree. He hooks up the Scorpion on Dupree. Dupree struggles to the ropes, but before he can get there, Grenier re-enters and slugs away at Sting, drawing in Harris.

All four men go at it, Sting on Dupree and Harris on Grenier. La Res get the advantage and try to whip the champs together, but they do-si-do before Sting sends Harris into Dupree with a spear. Sting picks Grenier up and gets a Northern Lights suplex, but the referee won’t count (Dupree is legal). Harris tries to hit the Catatonic on Dupree, but Lucille hooks his leg and Dupree falls on top. The referee doesn’t count that, either (Sting is legal). Dupree gets up and catches Sting from behind with a rollup that gets two. Dupree then lifts Sting up for a suplex, but brings Sting’s feet down on Grenier’s shoulders. Dupree then performs a Twist of Fate as both men drop at once. Dupree covers, and that brings about the title change.

WINNERS and NEW World Tag Team champions: La Résistance (13:28)

JR: "New champions! La Résistance has re-united, and once again they are the Tag Team champions!"

DDP: "And they looked like they've been practicing out there! Some of those double-teams... this is a team that could hold the belts for some time!"

JR: "That they could, and that is a frightening thought, Page. Well, this match may have been about titles, but our next bout is about nothing but revenge, respect, and hatred. One man who feels two women belittled him, and the women who have united to end his mean streak once and for all."

JR: "Well, there you see it -- Get Well Trish."

DDP: "I talk to the guys in the back -- these two are for real."

JR: "It looks like we have a new first couple of RAW."

Tracy: "Con... congratulations."

Trish: "What's wrong?"

Tracy: "Nothing.  Things are great.  You have the boy, you have the belt, you have the fans... don't mind me.  I'm just some hick from back home."

JR: "These two childhood friends seem to be having a disagreement."

DDP: "What was that?"

Valerie: "Hunter baby... pick one.  Mike here will take care of the other."

JR: "No -- he can't do this!  Oh for god's sake!  Mike Awesome has decimated a pair of women!"

Maven: "That wasn't right.  What you did... no man should beat up a woman like that."

JR: "HHH is obsessed!  He's tearing into Mike Awesome here!"

DDP: "He wants to get even!"

JR: "Uh-oh.  Now ladies, careful here."

DDP: "Look at HHH!  He's just about had enough!"

JR: "What's he -- PEDIGREE!  The Pedigree to Tracy!  And he and Trish are an item again!"

JR & DDP: "NO!"

DDP: "I don't believe it... he's taken them both out."

HHH: "I am not a prize to be won!  I am not an item to be fought over!  I am my own man!"

Trish: "I'm sorry, Tracy.  I haven't treated you right, have I?"

Tracy: "That's in the past.  Let's focus on the future."

HHH: "I will make both of you understand what you've done to me!"

Trish: "Let's see what kind of man he really is."

DDP: "One man against two women?  Is that a Good Thing?"

JR: "Armageddon -- we'll find out!"

[The Third Dukes]

The two men circle each other. They lock up. Jericho gets the advantage and pushes Benoit back into the corner, and when the referee calls for a break, he provides it. Benoit and Jericho lock up again. (1' gone) This time, Benoit has the advantage. He backs Jericho into the corner, but instead of giving a clean break, he slaps Jericho in the face. Jericho knuckles up, but Benoit steps back and smirks.

They lock up a third time, and this time, Jericho grabs a headlock. (2') Benoit lifts Jericho up and drops him in a back suplex right away. Benoit stands back as Jericho gets up and shakes the cobwebs. Benoit then charges in, but Jericho ducks the clothesline and pins Benoit against the ropes. He winds up and chops away (3') at Benoit, smacking him hard in the chest.

He sends Benoit into the ropes, landing a back elbow on the way out. Jericho drops an elbow and quickly grabs Benoit's leg, working for a kneebar. Benoit bridges his way out of discomfort, (4') then uses his free leg to kick away at Jericho, causing a break. Benoit stands up tells Jericho to come after him. Jericho obliges, charging Benoit, but Benoit grabs the arm and attempts to hook the Crossface. Jericho scrambles and grabs the ropes, (5') but Benoit hangs on for four. Benoit gets up and takes the referee's admonishment, then goes back to Jericho, picking him up and backing him into the corner.

Benoit chops away at Jericho, hitting him thrice in the chest, before Jericho ducks one (6') and reverses, putting Benoit in the corner and chopping away on him. Jericho whips Benoit across the ring, following in with a clothesline. Benoit staggers out, so Jericho hits a back suplex on him, then walks over and covers with one foot (7'), getting the first two-count of the night. Jericho picks Benoit up and tosses him into the ropes, but he misses a clothesline on the rebound. Benoit hits a bodypress on Jericho, then stays in the mount position, slugging away.

He switches to a Fujiwara armbar (8') on Jericho. Jericho fights to get out of the hold, but as he is about to reach the ropes, Benoit releases the hold. He picks Jericho up and tosses Jericho to the outside, following him. Benoit tries to toss Jericho into the steps, but Jericho blocks (9') and sends Benoit headfirst into the post. He tosses Benoit into the ring and follows, climbing to the top rope. Benoit stands up, and Jericho delivers a missile dropkick to Benoit. He covers, but it's two.

Jericho sends Benoit into the ropes (10'), but Benoit manages to reverse Jericho on the rebound. When Jericho rebounds, Benoit gets a tilt-a-whirl slam. He returns to a short-arm scissors on Jericho. Jericho tries to inch his way to the ropes, then instead leans back, bridging and pinning Benoit (11') for a two-count before Benoit releases the hold. Benoit tries to lock up with Jericho, but Jericho ducks under the lockup and resumes chopping on Benoit.

Jericho sends Benoit into the ropes and tries to follow, but Benoit ducks and sends Jericho (12') to the floor, where he lands on his arm. Jericho favors his arm as he gets up, but Benoit runs the ropes and nails Jericho with a tope. Benoit is up first, and he rolls Jericho back in. Benoit follows and delivers a slingshot headbutt to the arm (13') of Jericho. Benoit grabs the arm and applies a chickenwing to Jericho, who suffers in the hold. Jericho tries to reach for the ropes, but Benoit sees this and pulls Jericho farther back.

Jericho stands up in the chickenwing and elbows Benoit to break (14'). Jericho then bounces off the ropes and tries a diving clothesline, but he uses the wrong arm and both men tumble to the mat. Jericho is the first one up, and he catches Benoit from behind in the Flashback drop sleeper. With Benoit down (15'), Jericho waits by the ropes. Benoit gets up, and Jericho bounces off the middle rope and dropkicks Benoit back down.

He stands to the side and waits for Benoit to get to one knee, charging and hitting a Shining Wizard to Benoit's jaw. He covers (16'), but Benoit's shoulder is up at two. Jericho charges with a bulldog try, but Benoit stands firm and Jericho loses his grip and lands awkwardly. Benoit attacks from behind in a straitjacket armlock, pressing his knee into Jericho's back. He applies pressure (17') to Jericho's back with his knee, keeping Jericho seated.

Jericho tries to bridge to free his arms, but Benoit keeps the leverage and blocks it. Jericho tries to scoot to the ropes, but Benoit has him all tied up. Jericho finally gets enough of a bridge (18') to allow him to free his head from the hold and turn it into a test of strength as both men stand up. Benoit wins the test of strength by yanking Jericho's hair. Benoit drops to a mount position on Jericho and goes ground and pound on him (19'), but Jericho gets his knees to the back of Benoit to stop the flurry.

Jericho punches upward at Benoit's head before shoving him onto his back and cradling for two. Jericho and Benoit get to their knees and begin exchanging chops (20'), with Benoit going first and each man landing five in succession before Benoit pulls Jericho in and stops him with a headbutt. Benoit picks Jericho up, and both men get to their feet. Benoit gets a snap suplex and floats over to cover, but it's only two. (21') Benoit stands up and waits for Jericho to get to his feet, but Jericho rolls forward and springs at Benoit with a lariat.

He mounts Benoit and pounds away, then picks him up and snap suplexes him. He covers for two. Jericho picks Benoit up (22') and throws him into the ropes, but Benoit ducks a chop on the rebound, slams on the brakes, and hits a turning Jericho with his own chop. Benoit picks Jericho up from behind and tries for a German suplex, but Jericho gets a standing switch into a German (23') with a bridge, which he holds for two.

Jericho picks Benoit up and chops him right across the pecs, then sends him across the ring, following in with a corner dropkick. Jericho mounts Benoit in the corner and does the ten-punch count-along (24'), followed by hitting a monkey flip. Jericho grabs Benoit's legs and goes for the Walls, but Benoit manages to keep the bridge to prevent Jericho from turning him over. Jericho instead catapults Benoit over the top rope and out of the ring (25'), where he lands in a heap on the outside.

Jericho climbs to the top rope as Benoit gets up. Jericho dives off and nails Benoit with a plancha to the outside. On the outside, he begins to clear the Spanish announcer's table as Benoit recovers. Jericho picks him up (26') and tries to suplex him through the table, but Benoit blocks, low blows Jericho, and sends him into the ringpost. Benoit rolls back in, then back out.

He grabs the ringsteps and sets them up in the middle of ringside, then picks Jericho up. (27') He tries to suplex Jericho onto the steps, but Jericho blocks it. Jericho tries to reverse to a Breakdown on the steps, but Benoit holds his ground and Jericho sends himself into the steps instead. Benoit rolls back in and argues with the referee (28') before heading back outside. He picks Jericho up and tosses him into the ring, following him in.

He grabs Jericho from behind and nails him with a German suplex. He rolls through with it and manages to lift Jericho for a second German suplex. (29') He rolls through again, again hitting Jericho with a German suplex. Jericho's eyes are glazed, but Benoit rolls through with a fourth German suplex anyway. Benoit pulls him up, holding the waistlock, and after an attempt by Jericho to break Benoit's grasp (30'), Benoit hits a fifth German suplex. Benoit maintains the waistlock and rolls through, lifting with all his might to give Jericho a sixth German suplex. Benoit rolls through again, lifting Jericho to his feet. Despite Jericho's best efforts, Benoit arches (31') and carries Jericho for a seventh German. Benoit lifts Jericho up again, yelling "How many is that?" before nailing another German suplex. Once again, he maintains the waistlock, rolls through, and lands the next German suplex. Jericho is half-dead (32') but Benoit doesn't care; he holds the waistlock and lands one last German suplex, this time throwing Jericho as he does.

Still, ten German suplexes over 4 minutes have drained Benoit too, and both men are down. The referee stares at them (33') before starting his count. One, two, three, four, five, Benoit gets to his feet. Benoit looks at a prone Jericho and climbs to the top rope slowly. He delivers the cut-throat sign and dives halfway across the ring, but Jericho gets his arm up at Benoit (34'), resulting in Benoit slamming his head into Jericho's fist.

Jericho slowly pulls himself up by the ropes as Benoit clears the cobwebs. Jericho grabs Benoit and hooks a fisherman's suplex, but he can't maintain the bridge and it only gets two. (35') Jericho gets up and climbs to the top rope, but Benoit shakes the ropes and Jericho crotches himself. Benoit follows him to the top rope, but Jericho stops a superplex attempt. Both men begin chopping each other while perched on the top rope (36'), and Benoit wins with a series of chops. He gets to the top rope and lands a superplex on Jericho.

Both men are down. Benoit is the first person to get up, and he picks Jericho up and delivers a hammerlock slam. He covers, but it's only two (37'). Benoit gets desperate and sends Jericho into the ropes, trying for a dropkick. Jericho hooks the ropes, however, and Benoit splats on the mat. Jericho dives and rolls Benoit up for two. Jericho remains on the offensive, slugging at Benoit (38') as both men get up. Jericho chops away at Benoit, then tries a bodyslam, but Benoit grabs the arm in mid-air and falls on top, hooking the Crippler Crossface.

Jericho screams in pain as he tries to inch his way to the ropes, but Benoit pulls him back (39') to the center of the ring. Jericho has nowhere to go, but refuses to tap. His arm goes limp in the hold, however. The referee checks it once, twice, but on the third try Jericho keeps the arm up and rolls Benoit onto his back. At two, Benoit breaks (40') to keep from being pinned.

Benoit stomps on Jericho's arm, then tries to grab the Crossface again, but Jericho catches Benoit in an inside cradle. The ref counts two before Benoit manages to reverse the cradle to his advantage, getting a two as well (41'). Jericho grabs Benoit from behind and runs him into the ropes, trying to cradle on the way back, but Benoit hangs on to the ropes, and keeps them as the referee counts Jericho's shoulders down for the first pinfall of the match!

Benoit 1 - 18:11 - 0 Jericho

Benoit charges Jericho after the rest period and gets a German suplex. He hooks the waistlock and tries a second one, but Jericho gets a standing switch (43') and nails Benoit with a German suplex. He rolls through and gets a second one. He rolls through again, faster than ever, and nails a third one. Jericho rolls through on Benoit again, and despite Benoit's fighting, he nails a fourth German suplex (44'). Jericho rolls through and hits a fifth German suplex, bridging, but still he can only get two.

He waits for Benoit to get up, but Benoit stays down. Jericho heads over to cover, but Benoit grabs him and hooks on the Crossface, having played possum (45'). Jericho yells in pain, but manages to get to his knees, then to one knee. Benoit releases the hold and turns, lariating Jericho back down. He waits for Jericho to get back to his feet when Evolution appears in the entranceway to help (46').

Benoit waves them back, but that allows Jericho to roll him up for behind for two. Benoit irately stomps away on Jericho before picking him up and heading to the turnbuckle. He dives off with a tornado DDT on Jericho. He once again waits (47'), knowing he has the lead. Jericho shows no sign of getting to his feet, so Benoit picks him up and scoops him over his shoulder. Benoit tries for a Tombstone, but Jericho slides out the back and grabs Benoit for a whip into the turnbuckle. Jericho charges in (48'), but Benoit ducks and alley-oops Jericho into the steel post.

With Jericho out on his feet, Benoit trips Jericho and goes to put his own Walls on. Jericho manages to power himself on one arm (the other incapacitated) and reach the ropes (49'), so Benoit releases the hold and slams Jericho down. He goes back to the top rope, but Jericho is up and throws Benoit off the top through the Spanish announcers' table. Jericho collapses in the center of the ring as the referee begins to count Benoit. (50')

He reaches one. Two. Three. Four. Five. Benoit stirs. Six. Seven. Benoit is to his knees. Eight. Benoit is at the apron. Nine. Benoit slides in. Jericho quickly grabs him and snap suplexes him to the center of the ring. He runs to the ropes (51'), bouncing off and connecting with the Lionsault on Benoit. Jericho bounces too far on impact, though, and both men are down again. Jericho is up first and sees Benoit is still down. He decides to try a second Lionsault, but this one hits the knees (52') and Benoit manages to roll on top for two.

Benoit grabs Jericho by the hair and sets up for a powerbomb. Jericho, however, backdrops Benoit to the canvas and collapses on top. Benoit's shoulder is up at two. Jericho pulls Benoit up to his feet (53') and tries for a suplex, but Benoit falls on top when Jericho collapses. Jericho kicks out at two. Benoit slowly climbs to the top rope, but this time Jericho sees him and avoids the diving shoulderblock.

Jericho rolls Benoit onto his back, picking him up (54') by the legs and applying the Walls of Jericho. Benoit tries to fight it, but Jericho simply leans back farther. Benoit comes within a fraction of an inch of tapping out, but instead tries to wiggle his legs. Sure enough, Jericho's arm gives out (55'), and Benoit gets the hold broken. He pulls himself up and dives at Jericho with a clothesline, but Jericho catches the limb and hits a Crossface of his own.

Benoit is right next to the ropes, however, and he grabs them after a brief struggle. (56') Jericho rolls Benoit up immediately for two. He pulls Benoit up and sets up for a powerbomb, but Benoit fights out with a backdrop. Jericho holds on and rolls through on a sunset flip for another two. Jericho and Benoit collide, knocking heads (57'), and both men are down.

The referee counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, but Jericho is up and rolls on top of Benoit. Benoit's shoulder is up at two. Jericho crawls onto Benoit and slugs him down, then covers a second time (58'). It still only gets two. Jericho picks Benoit up and tries to slam him, but Benoit falls on top. Jericho's shoulder is up at two. Benoit tries to scoot away from Jericho, but Jericho grabs his foot and pulls him back before getting to his feet (59'). He picks Benoit up in a full nelson. Benoit tries to break the hold, but Jericho uses his last ounce of strength to turn the full nelson into a dragon suplex. He tries a bridging pin, and the ref races over and counts the three with only 8 seconds to spare!

The match is over -- the rest period counts off the remaining few seconds. Both men collapse exhausted in their corners, each one raising their own arms. Earl Hebner shakes his head at the finish, then motions to the back. Nick Patrick comes out, joined by the other RAW referees. There's a bit of confusion, then Hebner heads to the announce table up the aisle.

JR: "This is... why's he coming here?"

Hebner asks DDP for his headset and sits down at his place. He motions for JR to step aside.

JR: "Well, this... it appears that Earl Hebner, senior referee Earl Hebner, is going to confirm that he made the right call here. If Benoit's shoulders were indeed down for all three seconds, then we are headed to overtime. Otherwise, I imagine they'll put 8 seconds or so back on the clock. Right now, he's talking to Kevin Dunn, our producer, looking over the replay..."

People at home see the replay. At full-speed, it certainly appears that Benoit's shoulders did not leave the mat -- in fact, it appears to be obvious. Too obvious.

JR: "Well, it's pretty clear from... from this angle. We should be headed to overtime!"

Hebner puts the headset down and heads back to the ring. He consults again with each of the other referees, and after a few seconds, they all nod their heads. They leave the ring, and as Earl Hebner tells Lillian Garcia the official word, Nick Patrick enters the ring with the belt.

Garcia: "Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. After reviewing videotaped evidence, referee Earl Hebner has reached the conclusion that Chris Jericho did indeed keep Chris Benot's shoulders down for the entire three-count."

A huge cheer erupts. Jericho smiles.

Garcia: "HOWEVER, during that same three-count, Jericho was incapable of keeping his own shoulders off the mat. Therefore, the official's decision is a double pinfall, meaning both men are awarded a point. As there is not enough time left in the match, this bout is over, and your winner of the Iron Man match, and STILL World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Benoit!"

Benoit 2 - 00:00 - 1 Jericho

Jericho slumps down in disbelief and exhaustion as Benoit pulls himself up and smiles, taking the title from Nick Patrick. The Evolution music plays as he walks slowly over to Chris Jericho. He holds the title inches away from Jericho's exhausted face, and the camera clearly hears him say, "You'll never get this close again!"

JR: "OH MY GOD! CHRIS JERICHO BETRAYED BY HIS OWN BODY! BENOIT! BENOIT HAS SURVIVED THE HELLACIOUS IRON MAN MATCH! CHRIS BENOIT HAS BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK OVER SIXTY MINUTES AND HE IS STILL THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!"

<<<FIN>>>

*****

A word of explanation: I included the minute markers as much for my sanity as for yours. It helped me keep track of how much writing I had left to do, and it allows you to be able to visualize the scoreboard and flow of the match that much better. I hope it doesn't detract too much from the match proper.

Coming later: Rant and RAW. We're going to zoom through this.

[Blehschmidt]

Holy Crap.....Awesome main event!!!!!

That ending just screams for a 3 way at the Rumble.

Dupree's return while not surprising was well written. Triple H going over....BOO!!

HOORAY for Lance Storm finally winning the belt. I had no idea this feud would last this long when I made that match in a booking contest that seems so long ag0.

Orton/Michaels was awesome as well.

Not sure about Molly getting the shot, but how she got it was pretty cool. Very nice set up by Evolution.

Great Show Dukes....can't wait for some more, and for the Rumble.

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK Rant for Armageddon 2004.

- Live from the Lost City of Atlanta.

- Your hosts are JR and DDP.

- Tim McGraw plays "How Bad Do You Want It?" to open the show, presumably talking about the main event. As for my answer to that: It's Benoit, it's Jericho, it's an hour. Let's just say I'd become an organ donor.

- KICKASS "Tell Me I'm Fake" ad featuring the Chrises.

- Opening match, World Tag Team titles: Sting and Chris Harris v. La Résistance. That's right, the mystery partner is just the return of René Dupree, but hey, at least he's the good half of the team. Sting and Grenier start, and Sting gets a shoulderblock and inverted atomic drop. Dupree enters and gets clotheslined by Harris, and the champs double on Grenier. Stinger Splash, but Lucille uses the flagpole and Dupree attacks. This gives Grenier the advantage, but much like Pat Patterson, he blows it. Champs get a Rockerplex for two. Sting leaves the ring, so La Res get a double suplex on Harris, then Dupree suplexes Grenier onto Harris for two. La Res borrow the Rougeau's abdominal stretch / savate kick combo (might as well steal from the best), and Dupree with a backbreaker for two. FRENCH VIOL... sorry, I can't bring myself to say it... follows. Dupree with a corner clothesline and THE EXTREMELY FRENCH PEOPLE'S ELBOW~! That's so getting over. It gets two, and we HIT THE CHINLOCK. Harris powers out, but Grenier gets a blind tag and DDT for two. Harris blocks a backdrop and gets a spear as Grenier goes down... to the canvas. Hot tag Sting, and a double Stinger Splash and NOGGIN-KNOCKER OF DOOM follows. Scorpion try on Dupree, but Grenier breaks. It's BONZO GONZO as Harris spears Dupree. Sting hits a Northern Lights on Grenier and Dupree falls on Harris via Lucille, but neither pin counts because neither Harris nor Grenier is legal! Damn, what's with referees getting brains all of a sudden? Dupree rolls Sting up for two. Harris punks out Lucille, but that allows La Res to perform what I can best call an assisted elevated Twist of Fate (you have to see it to understand) on Sting for the pin at 13:28. Probably not the choice I would have made for the opener, but given the rest of the booking, it was as good as any. **1/4

- HHH v. Trish Stratus and Tracy. Please, WWE, I'm begging you: let Tracy have her last name back! The women tease being lesbians before charging HHH, who no-sells a clothesline. Tracy tries a sleeper, which does nothing until Trish adds a low blow to knock HHH over. Tracy stays on top, but HHH starts trying to kick away to get her off his back and it's RIDE EM COWGIRL! YEEHAW! Sadly, she does not last the full 8 seconds, and therefore the match must continue. Lariat by HHH, and Tracy does the Bret Hart bump for two. HHH USES THE KNEE~! for two. Suplex sets up the Pedigree, but Tracy goldbricks, low blows, and ranas HHH in that order. Hot tag Trish, who dives in with a headscissors. Stratusfaction and she goes back up, but a splash hits the knees. KICK WHAM PEDIGREE to Trish, then another one to Tracy for good measure, then he pins Trish at 6:51, because (1) she's legal and (2) she's dead from the Pedigree, which as we all know knocks you out for five minutes straight. Not that HHH should have lost this, but he didn't seem to interested in playing ball at the very least. Match was basically a squash. DUD

- Intercontinental Title: Chris Nowinski v. Lance Storm. Teddy Long is absent, having been forced off the road due to health reasons, but Rodney Mack and Jazz are not. They really should separate this group without Long around, because an overtly intelligent white guy having two black people do his dirty work for him is going to be a very uncomfortable situation, unless it's the Southern US where, let's face it, it's nostalgia. Storm comes out alone, because HE IS CANADIAN and he doesn't need any help. Lockup, and Storm grabs the Ol' Reliable Headlock. Nowinski breaks and tries a back body drop, but Storm stops and goes back to the headlock. Back suplex, but Storm lands on his feet and applies a headlock again. Nowinski is getting pissed off. Nowinski shoves Storm into the turnbuckle and tries a German, but Storm switches off and... wait for it... GRABS THE HEADLOCK. Crowd is cheering as Nowinski gets more frustrated. I never thought a headlock would get over. Nowinski yanks Storm by the tights and goes to the mount, but Storm escapes and an amateur wrestling sequence leads to, yup, you guessed it, a headlock by Storm. Crowd is dying. In a good way. Jazz trips Storm to end this headlockery and start the match proper, and Nowinski gets a slam for two. Shoulderblock and kneedrop, but Storm cradles for two. Release German suplex by Storm (the crowd was half-expecting another headlock) sets up the superkick, but Nowinski ducks. He works the back, applying a camel clutch. Banzai drop to the back and a butterfly suplex gets two. Nowinski tosses Storm, allowing Mack to ram him into the apron. Sharpshooter -- well, okay, not a good one -- and Storm sells the back over the legs. Storm makes the ropes, so Jazz slaps in the face. Storm bolts up, then sells a back spasm. Nowinski goes CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN', TONY, and he tries the running powerslam, but Storm slips out and rolls him up for two. Nowinski goes back to work, landing a press slam and trying for a flying kneedrop to the back, but Storm moves and Nowinski lands awkwardly on the knee. And NOW -- WHOO -- WE GO TO CANADIAN SCHOOL! Basement dropkick! Dragon screw! Kneebreaker! Storm tries a superkick, but Mack distracts and Nowinski spears Storm in the back. Now Nowinski grabs a headlock to get even, but you just don't DARE mock Canada like that, so Storm reverses to an anklelock. Nowinski makes the ropes. Storm with a clip, and he lines up a three-point stance (?!), but Mack drops an elbow on Storm's back and slugs out the ref to prevent a DQ. Mack and Nowinski try a beltshot, but Test runs in and boots Mack out COLD. Nowinski gives Test a Double Arm DDT for his trouble (selling the leg he used to kick Test), then runs over Storm. He tries a piledriver, but Nowinski trips him and puts on the Maple Leaf, getting the tap out nanoseconds before his back gives out at 21:47 to win the title. Place goes apoplectic. The usual goodness when Storm is in there, and Nowinski is clearly getting better by the minute. ***1/2

- Randy Orton v. Shawn Michaels. Well, they've got a lot to follow up. Michaels charges the ring right away, blitzing Orton with a monkey flip and crossbody. Orton bails, so Michaels hits a pescado. He showboats, which allows Orton to slam him into the STEEL railing, and Michaels blades. Uh-oh. A visit to the steps follows, and back in, Orton punches away at the cut before getting a flapjack for two. Michaels is already up to about .6 Muta. The ref checks the cut, allowing Orton to remove the turnbuckle pad. Orton with a DDT and some more pounding on the cut. It makes me feel good all over to see Michaels get the shit beat out of him. The ref tries to block a whip into the bolt, but Orton throws Michaels in anyway, causing a HUGE ref bump. Michaels takes ten shots to the turnbuckle (Orton counts along), then Orton lands a discus punch to the cut. Michaels uses more blading, getting to .9 Muta and freaking JR out. Orton gets the ring bell and slams it into Michaels' head, then stands over him and whacks him repeatedly until even I'm getting uncomfortable. Michaels is likely in a coma, but so is the ref. Orton wakes the ref up, then tries an RKO for the exclamation point, but Michaels shoves him into the bolt and superkicks him for the double KO. HUGE chant for Michaels, and damned if I'm not kinda rooting for him too. Both men s-l-o-w-l-y get up, and Michaels fires some desperation shots to the breadbasket, but Orton gets a Dumbasser for two. Orton is PISSED, and he starts beating up Michaels in the crimson mask. Out to the floor goes Michaels (probably for another blade), and Orton sets the ring bell next to the post before ramming Michaels into it. Back in, Orton tries to finish with the Sweet Chin Music, but Michaels lands his at the same time out of nowhere and it's another Double KO. Michaels kips up (drawing a HUGE pop) and uses all of his remaining energy to hit one last superkick before fainting on top of Orton for the pin at 14:09. When you absolutely, positively have to get someone over as a badass in defeat, call Shawn Michaels. This was all about the blood and the anger and the superkicks, but the crowd heat was unbelievable. ***3/4 Michaels remains motionless until EMTs revive him, and he gets helped to the back. Wow.

- Backstage, Evolution goes over the plan, which apparently is to handpick an opponent for Benoit.

- Kane v. Molly Holly v. Rhyno v. Christian. Pre-match intros establish Molly as being nervous about Kane. Rhyno attacks Kane to start, and Christian hits him with a bodypress. Molly chops at Rhyno while Kane boots Christian. Kane with a reverse suplex on Molly, but that allows Rhyno a diving tackle. Rhyno turns to Christian, hitting him with shoulder thrusts and a military press try, but Kane knocks Rhyno over and Christian gets two. Kane no-sells Christian's offense and blasts him with punches and a clothesline (Jannetty sell). Molly goes up and tries to hit the Molly-Go-Round, but Kane blocks and Molly's left hanging upside down on Kane's neck. Rhyno then hits the GOAR GOAR GOAR on both Molly and Kane in a really sweet visual. Rhyno gets rolled up by Christian for two. Rhyno sends Christian into the ropes, and Christian dives out onto Kane. Kane heads outside and throws him back in, getting a press slam for two. We go to the SPLIT-SCREEN OF DOOM as Kane tosses Molly into the ringpost for fun while Christian gets the Rear Naked Stretch for two. Bulldog gets two as Kane lifts Molly for a press slam on the ramp. Christian scampers out to save Molly, and Molly and Christian get a double suplex on Kane on the ramp. Molly decides to escape with her bones intact, but Evolution blocks her and Kane sits up as Molly is FUCKED, yo. Meanwhile, Christian gets an inverted DDT for two. Evolution charges and attacks... Kane? Christian is confused, and Rhyno uses the distraction to roll him up for two. Meanwhile, Shane puts Kane through a table with the Picture Perfect Elbow, writing him out. Rhyno gets the GOAR GOAR GOAR on Christian for two, but Molly saves. Handspring elbow try leads to a second GOAR GOAR GOAR and Rhyno has this won, but Flair distracts the ref. Batista enters, hits Rhyno with two Demon Bombs, and tosses Molly on top for the pin at 14:55. And Rhyno is GONE. And apparently, gone for good, as he roided out and got fired for starting a fight backstage. Batista then reveals that this was the master plan -- get the weakest link (Molly) into the Rumble title match so Benoit can keep the gold. Match seemed decent but really fell apart when Evolution entered. 1/2*

- Of course, none of the above matters, because this is what we're judging the show on.

- Main event, Iron Man match, World Title: Chris Benoit v. Chris Jericho.

- Hang on, let me type that again.

- Main event, Iron Man match, World Title: Chris Benoit v. Chris Jericho.

- Doesn't that just look awesome? Anyway, let's do the match.

- Main event, Iron Man match, World Title: Chris Benoit v. Chris Jericho. Sorry, couldn't resist. Lockup and clean break by Jericho. Lockup and not-so-clean break by Benoit. Another lockup, and it leads to Benoit getting a back suplex. Jericho avoids a charge and begins the CANADIAN VIOLENCE! Who had 2:54 in the "when will the first chop be landed?" pool? Back elbow and Jericho works the leg. Benoit kicks away to break and converts a charge into the Crossface. Jericho makes the ropes. Benoit chops away at Jericho, but Jericho reverses and goes to town. THIS IS CANADA! Corner clothesline leads to a back suplex and ARROGANT COVER~! for two. Benoit gets a bodypress and slugs away, then goes to a Herb Kunze armbar. He releases near the ropes, then tosses Jericho. Jericho reverses Benoit into the STEEL post, and back in, a missile dropkick gets two. Benoit with a tilt-a-whirl slam and short-arm scissors, and Jericho does the Backlund counter for two. More chopping, but Benoit dumps Jericho, who lands on his arm. Cue ominous music. Tope for Benoit, and back in, Benoit with a slingshot headbutt on the arm. Chickenwing eats some time. Jericho with a clothesline, but it's the bad arm and he sells appropriately. Flashback and rebound dropkick set up a SHINING WIZARD~! for two. Bulldog try, but Benoit avoids it. Benoit with a straitjacket chinlock, which he redeems by driving his knee into Jericho's back. Jericho fights in the hold for a while, Test of strength out of the hold, and Benoit wins by using the hair like a good heel. Benoit goes ground and pound, but Jericho steals Storm's rollup for two. Both men on their knees, and they exchange CANADIAN UBERVIOLENCE! Benoit ends the run with a headbutt and snap suplex for two. Jericho with a rolling lariat out of nowhere, and he gets a snap suplex for two. Benoit stops on a dime off of a whip and pastes Jericho with a chop, then tries a German suplex, but Jericho reverses to one of his own for two. Another chop and running dropkick. Jericho gets the ten punches, and unlike Randy Orton, the crowd counts along because Jericho's actually cool and stuff. Monkey flip sets up the Walls of Jericho, but Benoit avoids it, so Jericho catapults Benoit over the top rope to the outside. Jericho with a plancha, and it's time to clear the table. Benoit avoids a suplex and sends Jericho into the STEEL post. The steps are set up, and after a fight, Benoit blocks the Breakdown and sends Jericho into them. Back in, Benoit goes suplex-happy, landing TEN German suplexes (even though it takes a good 3 minutes to do so). Benoit's every bit as dazed as Jericho, though, and we have a double KO. Benoit up first, and he tries the swandive, only to land on Jericho's extended fist. Ouch. Jericho with a fisherman's suplex for two. To the top, and they fight with more chopping before Benoit wins and superplexes Jericho down. The announcers are astounded at what they've seen, and Page is hammering home that no matter how brutal this is, they STILL have a long way to go, which is the point of an Iron Man match. Hammerlock slam by Benoit gets two. Benoit misses a dropkick and Jericho cradles for two. Jericho slugs away, then switches to chopping before trying a bodyslam, but Benoit reverses IN MIDAIR to the Crossface! Dizamn. Jericho is dead meat, but refuses to tap. He blacks out, and the ref does the arm test, but Jericho recovers and puts Benoit on his back for two to break. Benoit tries again, but this leads to a pinfall reversal sequence, ending with Benoit blocking a rolling cradle and holding the ropes to go up 1-0 at 41:49! Benoit attacks right out of the rest period with another rolling Germans try, but Jericho switches and gets five of his own for two. Benoit plays dead and suckers Jericho into a Crossface, but Jericho tries to stand up, so Benoit breaks and lariats Jericho down as Evolution appears. Benoit waves them off because he's a right proper bastard and wants to win on his own, but this allows Jericho to roll him up for two. Benoit stomps away and gets a Tornado DDT, then decides to wait and take the win. Tombstone try, but Jericho slides out. Blind charge by Jericho leads to an alley-oop into the ringpost, which is how Benoit won in the Elimination Chamber. Nice callback. Benoit with the Walls, but Jericho powers up on ONLY HIS GOOD ARM and makes the ropes. Benoit with a slam and he goes up, but he takes too long and Jericho gets up, shoving him off the top and through the previously-cleared Spanish announcers' table. The crowd senses a countout, but Benoit gets back in at nine. Suplex by Jericho and a Lionsault, but he can't keep the covers. A second Lionsault hits the knees, and Benoit rolls him up for two. See, now he realizes that Jericho won't die, and he wants the insurance fall. Powerbomb is teased, but Jericho backdrops out for two. Suplex try, but Benoit falls on top for two. Benoit to the top, but Jericho avoids whatever and slaps on the Walls. Benoit attempts to make the ropes, but that leads nowhere, so he instead causes Jericho's bad arm to lose its grip, breaking the hold. Benoit charges, but Jericho puts a Crossface on him as JR is clock-watching. Benoit makes the ropes. Jericho with a rollup for two. Jericho tries a powerbomb of his own, but that's countered, so Jericho holds on for a sunset flip for two. Heads collide for a double-KO and JR is going nuts. Jericho rolls on top for two, then pounds on Benoit and tries again. Still two, and now the crowd is sensing Jericho's time is running out. Benoit falls on top on a slam attempt for two. Benoit tries to run, but Jericho catches him. Full nelson as JR is about to have a heart attack and DDP is marking out. Benoit can't escape or quit, so Jericho barely gets a DRAGON SUPLEX~! (nearly dropping Benoit in nasty ways), and the ref counts three at 59:52... or does he? The time expires as both men are GASSED. Earl calls a referee conference, then goes to the annoucners and checks replays. Sure enough, Benoit's shoulders were down, but so were Jericho's, and that means a double-pin spot and Benoit wins 2-1. Well, if you're going to use a double-pin spot, it might as well be late in an Iron Man match when you've established both men as exhausted. Can't go the full monty in good conscience, but this enters the three-way tie for greatest Iron Man match ever with Rock/HHH and Bret/Shawn. ****3/4

The Bottom Line:

Like you need to ask.

Thumbs way up.

*****

Okay, the Prediction Contest results... we had nine entrants, so here they are.

Sullen Slacker -- 8

Jam -- 7

K.O.T.W -- 6

The_Monkey_Molester -- 6

Hurricane Donald -- 5

Oldskool -- 5

Skumfrog -- 5

Azrael -- 4

Tristof -- 4

I'm making the executive decision to name both Slacker and Jam winners. One of them will tell me what goes on the best of RAW show, the other does Best of SmackDown!. Both shows cover the 2004 calendar year, meaning it isn't all on this thread, but I'll supply what's missing. Slacker, as the higher scorer, gets to choose which brand he wants. Okay, guys, let's have some fun.

Edited February 1, 2005 by Dukes

[grind your soul]

Excellent show, Dukes. You've redeemed yourself after a couple of mediocre efforts.

I'm saddened by the loss of Rhyno, as I think he could still do some damage in the fed, but c'est la vie.

The Iron Man match was obviously off-the-charts, and we can only pray for such awesomeness in real life.

Didn't like the HHH/Women match. Call HHH what you will, especially with the way he's been portrayed in this diary and BVS Proper, but I still think he deserves better than this.

Evolution picking Molly was awesome, but I really am not looking forward to MORE Molly main event push. Ugh. Just please, squash her and finish with this; it's past the point of amusement and now is at the point of annoyance.

[Skummy]

I really think Dukes has booked himself into a corner with the whole Molly Holly thing. On the one hand I don't think anyone can picture her as World Champion, especially not by defeating Chris Benoit, and having her in the main event probably just serves to make other superstars look weak, and eventually just to annoy the "viewer" with her prominence in the show. But on the other hand, after seeing her hold her own against some of the top stars on RAW, no one could realistically buy her being placed back into the Women's division, or even just pushed down the card, unless he pulls an injury storyline and she just ends up being used as a manager/non-wrestler.

Anyway, fantastic show!

[Steve Corino]

I could see Molly getting about a 10-minute reign by a fluke pinfall and then Benoit pulls his rematch clause immediately and wins it back.

I'd say "great show"....but I'm sure you already knew that.

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarK RAW Rant for Dec. 14 / 04.

- Live from Huntsville, AL.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross and DDP.

- Opening interview in lieu of RNN: Evolution comes out to celebrate success in Phase I of the master plan. Orton's apologizes for losing to Shawn, but Benoit is in a good mood because Evolution will reign supreme forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Plus, with Molly as the challenger, he'll go through the Rumble without breaking a sweat, allowing him to help in the match itself. Molly interrupts and wishes to clear a few things up. First off, she's no pushover. She's beaten Christian, Chynna, Big Show, blah blah blah... oh, and Randy Orton too. Polished him off with his own move, in fact. Evolution's condescending look at Orton seems to tease a face turn, but none is evident. Benoit notes that they were fighting for pride -- he's fighting for REVENGE~! for losing his spotlight to her. So now, it's ON. Decent opening segment.

- So Linda McMahon joins us. She notes that there are seven weeks between now and the Rumble. One week in Iraq and one Best Of week means five "traditional" shows. So three people qualify for the Rumble on each show, which means we have 30. Linda notes that, while you can only qualify once, you can TRY to qualify as often as it takes. That's a nice loophole, because it means that the first couple weeks will be unpredictable until they get all the people in that they need to. I mean, eventually they'll go in, so matches in the last week might be gimmes, but is that necessarily bad on free TV? Case in point...

- Opening match, Intercontinental title: Lance Storm v. David Flair. No way Lance is getting only a 24-hour title reign. Flair chops away to start, but Storm fights him off and gets a dragon screw. Kneebreaker and Storm drops some elbows. Flair Flip in the corner, but Flair kicks Storm in the face and lands an axhandle to the back (making sure to land on one foot). Flair with a kick and DDT for two. Elbow to the back and he tries a camel clutch, but Storm grabs the leg in a kneebar. Flair makes the ropes, but Storm clips him and hits the Maple Leaf for the tapout at 5:49. *1/2

- Chris Jericho is out. Last night was the worst feeling in his life, because he has no one to blame but himself. He should be champ, he says. Nah, I like Benoit better. Anyway, the solution is to enter the Rumble and become World Heavyweight Champion that way. Evolution re-appears as Eric Bischoff tells Jericho it'll never happen. He points to Orton and tells him to face Jericho, but Orton has a better idea: send Batista! Batista's smirk is priceless. The match is set: Jericho/Batista. Jericho accuses Orton of ducking him, so Orton slaps Jericho upside the head like an American so-called tough guy. See, if he REALLY wanted to get his point across, he'd have chopped Jericho.

- Rumble Qualifier: Chris Nowinski v. Shawn Michaels. Michaels is wearing the full-on headwrap tonight as DDP points out that he went through a war with Orton. Nowinski can read the neon sign, so he attacks the head right away and slams it into the turnbuckle. Cactus DDT try, but Michaels backdrops out and punches away. Back elbow gets two. Nowinski gets a headbutt, but that hurts his face as well. For the record, seven-year injuries are fun. When they're fake, anyway. Nowinski gets mad and stomps away at the gauze before throwing Michaels to the floor. On the outside, Nowinski tries a DDT, but Shawn trips him and catapults him into the post. Back in, flying elbow gets two. Nowinski catches the superkick and yanks Shawn to the mat, but a figure-four try (?!?) causes him to bump the ref. Nowinski goes back to the running powerslam, but Michaels drops out the back and German suplexes him. This pisses Nowinski off, and so Nowinski chairs Michaels into oblivion... as the ref gets up and calls the DQ at 6:44. Nowinski tries a flying chairshot, but Michaels rolls away and Nowinski beans himself. Superkick hits for good measure. Bleh. *

- La Résistance cut a promo entirely in French (with subtitles) promising to deliver a beating to any team that wants to stop them. Cute bit: Lucille spends the entire time watching a monitor off-camera to make sure the subtitles correspond with their actual message this time, as opposed to when Grenier tried this solo in March and got mixed messages from Booker T.

- Rumble Qualifier: Kane v. Tommy Dreamer. Clothesline, chokeslam, goodnight at 0:55. DUD Yeah, he'll be a force. Kane then tells Molly to enjoy her moment in the sun and that he'll be rooting for her -- because then he'd get to face her and destroy her at WrestleMania and there won't be a thing she can do about it. Talk about being obsessed...

- World Tag Team titles: La Résistance v. Booker T and Scott Hall. It's a massive donnybrook to start, as La Res hit La Crepe on Booker, but Hall dives off with a bulldog. Booker clotheslines Grenier out, but Dupree suplexes him. Hall tries a fallaway slam, but Grenier gets an inverted DDT to drop Dupree on top for two. Booker suplexes Grenier, and Hall boots down Dupree. Both French people bail, and Booker T unleashes the BLACK GUY OUTTA CONTROL pescado to pop the crowd huge. Hall remember WWE Tag Rule #1 (if a face dives, he will get gang-beaten) and follows, tossing Grenier into the STEEL steps and clotheslining Dupree. Back in, Booker slams Grenier and gets a kneedrop for two. Hall tosses Dupree in, and Dupree thanks him by kicking him in the mush when he tries to follow. Lucille uses the FLAGPOLE OF DOOM to detain Hall, and in the ring, La Res get the Rougeau Kick. Grenier covers for two and we go to break. We return with Booker powering out of a sleeper, only to have Dupree kick him in the gut and Grenier score a bulldog for two. Dupree in, and he gets a suplex and THE EXTREMELY FRENCH PEOPLE'S ELBOW~! for two. Grenier comes back, and La Rez tries the suplex spot, but Booker gets his knees up. Double clothesline and hot tag Hall. Grenier is run pillar to post, and a fallaway slam gets two. Dupree enters, but Hall knocks him over and gets a HUGE inverted atomic drop knocking both men together. Razor's Edge, but he's right near the ropes and Grenier sends him over. La Rez try a double backdrop, but Hall puts on the brakes as Booker comes around with an axe kick on both men. Just a brilliant spot right there. Spinaroonie, but a subsequence Hallaroonie is thankfully stopped. Maybe at the Rumble. Twin Rock Bottoms get two, as the crowd lets up a HUGE "Bullshit" chant. Hall tries the Edge again, but Dupree reverses to a backslide for two. Finally, Lucille whacks Booker over the head with the flag and Grenier rolls him up for the pin at 15:04. Wow. **3/4

- Elsewhere, Shawn Michaels is being tended to by the medics when Orton storms in and wipes him out again. Benoit: "Too little too late." Orton vows to enter the Rumble and destroy Shawn there. You were / I am thing, ya know. Although I don't know what it is with Orton and interminable feuds.

- Main event, Rumble qualifier: Chris Jericho v. Batista. Jericho chops away to start, flinging himself at Batista with a chop off the ropes and sending him to the floor. Jericho hits a springboard dropkick as Batista pulls himself back up, but that just ticks him off. Jericho runs into a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER and gets waylayed by Batista, then javelined to the outside. Back in, Batista gets a powerslam for two. We HIT THE CHINLOCK, and Jericho fights out to take over with a back elbow. Enzuigiri, but Batista's still on his feet until a second one puts him down. Lionsault hits the knees, and Batista slams Jericho for two. Flapjack gets two. Hotshot and Batista tries a lariat, but Jericho ducks and hits a superkick. Facejam gets two. Breakdown is reversed to a release German suplex for two. Right cross gets two. Jericho reverses a whip and blind charge to get the Flashback for two. Walls of Jericho applied, but Batista makes the ropes. Big boot follows, but the Demon Bomb is reversed to a sunset flip for the pin at 6:57. **1/4

The Bottom Line:

Begin the Rumble build-up now, as Benoit/Molly is all about kicking Molly out of the main event scene. The tag title match was 1000 times better than it should have been, and I wonder if there's a rematch in the cards with four guys who know how to do a tag match. Other than that, nothing to see here.

Next week they'll be in Iraq, which makes me wonder: what would Saddam think of the Molly push?