The BVS WWE: 2004-05

[The Third Dukes]

Well, I hope that my recent private message to the booking committees straightens out any potential confusion over the handling of this event. Besides, I still have a match to give them. Each. So...

*****

- The SmarK RAW Rant for Nov. 08 / 04.

- Live from Stone Cold Steve Austin, TX.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross and Dallas Page.

- RNN Time! Woohoo! Today we get a major look-back at all six contenders in the Elimination Chamber, with highlights SLIGHTLY altered to make Orton and Benoit look good. Gee, can't imagine why. So basically, they'll flip a coin in the chamber, and it doesn't matter who wins it because the WORLD knows who the champ will be exiting Survivor Series. The crowd, after some cueing from the piped-in heat machine, chants "Y2J", prompting a HILARIOUS over-the-top reaction from Orton. Orton then says he has an open invitation to any of the other participants to get 60 seconds to explain why they'll win, and really you don't need to ask Shawn Michaels twice to put himself over, do you? Shawn comes out and spends the entire time telling us why he's better than Orton, calling Orton a "sheep" who screwed up as leader of Evolution and necessitated Benoit's inclusion. Orton takes issue with that, but Shawn keeps insisting his 60 seconds aren't up yet (even after they're up by about 5 minutes). Finally, Orton loses it and jumps Shawn, and we have a brawl to set up our main event tonight: a Survivor Series-style match, HBK/Y2J/Molly/HHH v. Benoit/Orton/Rhyno/Awesome. Orton is gold in the over-the-top heel role.

- Meanwhile, Lance Storm promises that the Intercontinental Title will be his. After all, he's the uncrowned champ, and the legitimate tag champs are on his side. He notes his side has the once (Sting, Hall, Booker) and future (Storm, Harris) stars, a group whose dominance will span 30 years, whereas Nowinski's group will be lucky to last 30 seconds. Cute. The usual Storm stuff, as he's gotten better on the mic than before.

- Opening match: Maven and Tracy v. La Résistance. Still Grenier and Lucille, as Dupree continues to recover from surgery, although word has it he'll be back any day now. I sure hope so -- this duo just isn't cutting it as a tag team, and Grenier made Dupree look like a superstar. The sexes pair off to start, as Lucille chops away on Tracy and Maven unloads on Grenier. Heels collide, and stereo DROPKICKS OF DOOM sends them to the outside. Back in, Tracy flapjacks Lucille, but shenanigans (not quite offbeat) with the flag make Tracy YOUR chick-in-peril. Think about that, Maven: you're so crap, a WOMAN has to wrestle your match. Lucille with a front suplex for two. She tries a powerslam, but Tracy wiggles out and throws her into Grenier. Hot tag Maven, who gets hiptosses to very little reaction. Dude, he's Maven -- it's okay. The chicks return with a catfight, allowing Grenier to clothesline Maven with the FLEUR DE LYS FLAGPOLE OF DEATH and pin him with the help of the ropes at 5:31. Okay then. *

- So Maven's all pissed off and chases Grenier to the back, but runs into Valerie of all people. Maven's all "outta my way" and she's all "nuh-uh-uh" and he's all "move it" and she's all "make me" and Mike Awesome's all "I'll handle this" and Maven's all "splat" and HHH is all "make the save-UH" and I'm all "Whatever." Apparently this sets up another match at Survivor Series, which I'm sure will be confirmed later on.

- World Tag Team titles: Sting and Chris Harris v. Christopher Nowinski and Rodney Mack. Oh joy, looks like another night of get everyone on the camera. Faces clean house to start, and it looks like a squash until Sting misses a Stinger splash and Nowinski takes over. Look, if they're phoning it in, I will do likewise. Cactus DDT by Nowinski gets two. Mack in with a powerslam for two. Blackout is reversed when Sting slams Mack back-first into the corner, and a lariat means hot tag Harris. Ahem. That's Black out in the previous sentence. Stupid word filter. Anyway, Harris lariats down Mack and gets a spear on Nowinski. Sharpshooter, but Mack breaks it up and it's a donnybrook. Stinger Splash and Catatonic finish Mack at 4:12. Sting uses his anytime minutes on this one, as he and the boys phone it in before Survivor Series. *

- Triple H confirms the match for Survivor Series, as he and Trish promise it's on. It's Awesome, Valerie, Lucille, and Grenier against Hunter, Maven, Trish, and Tracy. Trish doesn't seem too happy with that last teammate, and the two argue about it. Dude, this love triangle's getting pretty cool. I could see it going one of three ways:

* Trish dumps Hunter and Tracy moves in for the rebound.

* Tracy's scheme is discovered and both Hunter and Trish blackball her.

* Hunter gets pissed and leaves both women, going on a solo run.

In other words, any of the three people could turn. I just wonder who...

- Christian and Lance Storm v. Batista, Michael Shane, and David Flair. I presume the point of this is to show numerical advantage doesn't mean everything, so let's see. The faces open up on Flair, isolating him and dropping twin elbows for two. Storm goes to work on the leg, but Flair scrambles out to escape. Christian gets an inverted atomic drop, but Batista runs him over. Flair goes to work on the leg, adding a running legbar thing. Christian makes the ropes. Batista in, and a chop block leads to a shinbreaker for two. Covering? Why? Shane enters and gets a crossbody and punches away. Flair demands back in and continues the legwork, leading to a figure-four. Storm saves, and Christian reverses an Implant DDT into a backdrop. Batista is caught with a flying jalapeno, hot tag Storm. Dropkick to Flair, and he tosses Shane into Batista and rolls Shane up for two. Batista breaks it up with a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER and all heck breaks loose. Flair and Shane dive onto Christian, but Batista's Demon Bomb is reversed in mid-air to a superkick for the pin at 8:43. Decent. **

- So, what does RAW offer for Survivor Series?

* Main event, Elimination Chamber, World Heavyweight Title: Chris Jericho v. Chris Benoit v. Randy Orton v. Shawn Michaels v. Rhyno v. Molly Holly

* Kane v. Christian

* Elimination Match: Chris Nowinski, Rodney Mack, Batista, Michael Shane, and David Flair v. Lance Storm, Sting, Chris Harris, Scott Hall, and Booker T

* Elimination Match: Mike Awesome, Sylvain Grenier, Valerie, and Lucille LaChienne v. Maven, Tracy, Trish Stratus, and that other guy

- Hmmm. Decent enough presentation, even if it once again looks like the "let's throw as many people as we can at the match and give out paydays" kind of thing. I mean, really, who's left for Heat? Anyone? That said, the Chamber should probably be its usual okay match, and everything else will vary depending on how they book it. Still, it's Survivor Series; has it EVER meant anything?

- I mean, besides that one time in '97.

- Elimination match: Benoit, Orton, Rhyno, and Awesome v. Hunter, Michaels, Holly, and Jericho. EVERYBODY INTO THE POOL as we start with people pairing off and beating each other up indiscriminately. Molly and HHH double on Awesome while Valerie yells randomly. Rhyno tries a GOAR GOAR GOAR on Molly, but she leaps out of the way and Awesome gets it. Valerie distracts Rhyno, who turns around into a facecrusher from HHH (ah, that knee's getting some work in) and all the heels bail. Jericho, Shawn, and Molly all dive onto them AT THE SAME TIME in a spectacular visual as we take a break. We return with Molly working Rhyno's arm with spinning wrenches and a short-arm clothesline. HHH enters and gets shoulder thrusts, followed by a DDT. KICK, but no WHAM or PEDIGREE as Rhyno backdrops out. HHH tries a lariat but misses, and GOAR GOAR GOAR destroys HHH for the pin at 4:57. Mwahahahahaha. Molly enters, thinks about it, and leaves again, bringing in Jericho. Rhyno charges Jericho, but Jericho jumps and Rhyno slams into Molly anyway, knocking her off the apron. Man, some people just can't win. Shawn suplexes Rhyno and covers, but Benoit saves and all heck breaks loose again. Heels control with numbers, but HHH returns and tosses Jericho's belt to him. Ha, HHH is reduced to this. Awesome. Anyway, Jericho whacks Awesome with it, and Molly crawls on top to get the pin at 8:13. So now we're down to the Elimination Chamber people. I know, no shock there. Well, Molly is still tired, so it's RKO and seeya later at 8:44. And now Jericho jumps in and cleans house on Orton, but a Benoit cheapshot turns the tide. Play of the Day gets two. Benoit in with the Rolling Germans, and Rhyno adds a press slam for two. Rhyno and Benoit get a double suplex, then Benoit unloads a superplex for two. Rhyno gets an Oklahoma slam for two. Orton tries a figure-four, but Jericho cradles for two. Orton charges and eats turnbuckle, then a faceslam. Hot tag Shawn, and everyone gets hit before Orton eats a flying jalapeno for two. Big elbow gets two. Shawn cues up the band, but Orton blocks and kicks Shawn low. Benoit in, and Shawn gets hit with a release German suplex and swandive headbutt for two. Rhyno gets a frog splash while the ref is distracted, and the Crossface means buh bye for Shawn at 15:03. Jericho is SCREWED, but we take a break anyway. We come back with Jericho in a bearhug from Rhyno, which he elbows out of before getting a snap suplex. Rhyno tries a charge but misses and flies to the outside, so Jericho hits a baseball slide to keep Rhyno at bay. Back in, Jericho with a top-rope moonsault for two. Spinkick gets two. Rhyno catches Jericho in a powerslam for two. He tries the GOAR GOAR GOAR, but Jericho jumps over him and rolls him up for two. Rhyno tries a slam, but Jericho goes low and gets the double powerbomb for the pin at 18:43. Orton charges but gets tripped up, and Jericho tries for the Walls, but Benoit breaks. Benoit goes for the Crossface, but Jericho blocks and gets a backdrop. He tries the Lionsault, but Orton catches and slams him down for two. Orton leaves Jericho open, and Benoit CHOPS WITH MUSTARD on him. Benoit is escorted out, so Jericho hiptosses Orton and dropkicks him in the back of the head. Snap suplex leads to another Lionsault try, but Benoit drops him on the ropes and Orton rolls him up for two. Jericho gets the Breakdown for two, Benoit saves. Finally, the double-teaming's too much as a tandem powerbomb sends Jericho to defeat at 22:03. Nice story told, but that's about it. ** Of course, Benoit and Orton stand tall now, but when Orton poses with the belt, an angry Benoit gets in his face until everyone else returns. Jericho floors Benoit and gets the elusive Lionsault, but Batista and Michael Shane beat him down. Molly Holly of all people dives onto the pile to save while Rhyno GOAR GOAR GOARS Shawn. Molly hits the Molly-Go-Round on Rhyno, but it's no-sold and she goes running. Jericho smacks Rhyno with a chair, but Orton gets the RKO and stands tall to end the show.

The Bottom Line:

Off to Survivor Series we go, and though the show wasn't QUITE as bad-ass as last week, that's to be expected from a hype show. After all, it wouldn't be fair to give everything away on free TV. The elimination match was a good concept, and emphasizing the every-man-for-himself nature of the Chamber at the end -- with Benoit and Orton fighting -- was a nice touch to indicate that we might not see the same on Sunday.

But we will -- Benoit's so winning.

*****

ATTENTION RAW BOOKING TEAM!

Yeah, you.

We have another match. Sorry, no fancy team names:

Triple H, Maven, Trish Stratus, and Tracy

vs.

Mike Awesome, Sylvain Grenier, Valerie, and Lucille LaChienne

Yeah, yeah, I know, SmackDown! gets all the good workers. Hey, not your concern. Book me a match. Please.

I said please.

Dukes

[Steve Corino]

*Salutes* Aye, captain. Can do.

[K.O.T.W]

We'll try!

[DonaldMick]

If you haven't already gents, check your PMs.

As for the show itself - PPV hype show, but it did a good job of that. Plus, Orton getting owned is always worth a mention.

And Virch seems to be way, WAY too comfortable with that Valley girl dialect.

[Commander Sheepard]

Survivor Series is really shaping up. There's a good mix of great stuff, good stuff, and WWE stuff.

Virch, as always, rules, though the best part was the "X is all X, while y is all y" etc.

Like, totally awesome, fer shur, really.

[The Third Dukes]

- The SmarKDown! Rant for Nov. 11 / 04, taped Nov. 09.

- from Corpus Christi, TX.

- Your hosts are Michael Cole and James "Extra Effort" Cornette. Told you I'd give you the answer.

- Opening match: Hurricane v. Nova. Hey, remember back when Mike Bucci was first signed to a developmental deal and the internet basically DEMANDED he go against Hurricane because they used the exact same gimmick? What makes us think we're better bookers again? Anyway, Hurricane chops away at Nova to start, getting a back elbow and elbowdrop for two. Nova vaults over Hurricane and hits a back kick, then goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Hurricane fights him off and sends him into the corner. More chopping, then a short-arm clothesline which gets reversed and re-reversed until Hurricane gets a superkick for two. Hurricane stays on him with a snapmare and dropkick to the head, but Nova fights out of Eye of the Hurricane and gets a stalling suplex. Dropkick gets two. Nova tries the Contra Code, but Hurricane flips Nova onto his face and hits the Shining Wizard for two. Hurricane tries the chokeslam, but Nova reverses to a rollup for two. Enzuigiri gets two for Nova, and he goes for a missile dropkick, which Hurricane swats away. Hurricane gets the London Bridge for two, and that ticks Nova off so he knocks Hurricane down with RVD's stepover enzuigiri and Rolling Thunder for two. Nova probably invented both those moves anyway. Hurricane clotheslines Nova to the outside, and it's the SUPERMAN FLIGHT OF DOOM off the top to pop the crowd. Back in, Hurricane readies the goozle, but Nova kicks the arm away and gets a straightjacket suplex for two. Ouch. To the top, but Hurricane follows and they duke it out up there until Hurricane slips off. Nova with the flying sunset flip, but Hurricane blocks and gets a martial arts chop for two. Hurricane and Nova battle over Eye of the Hurricane / Spin Doctor (basically the same move), and Nova gets it for two. Kryptonite Krunch finishes at 14:03. Another great match from these four -- but who the hell do you give the belts to? ***1/4

- Kevin Kelly is backstage. That's never a good sign.

Kelly: "Nathan Jones, Shannon Ward, you have been keeping mainly to yourselves the last few days after issuing that challenge to Ultimo Dragon for Survivor Series -- have you found your team?"

Ward appears to be sizing Kelly up, then turns and shakes her head to Nathan.

Ward: "Nah -- too small. Throw him back!"

Ward shoves Kelly off-screen, then cackles.

Nathan: "Yeah, you're right, sheila -- we don't want no scrawny blokes on our side. We want people with a history of pain! We want people who know how to hurt you! And 'at's why we chose who we did! Meet the Ministry of Pain -- my associate, Buchanan -- a man who took no less a star than Edge and put him on the shelf! The little big man, Tazz, who knows your weaknesses inside and out, and has the street breedin' I love! And his good buddy Joey Numbahs... a man who can knock your bloomin' lights out with one shot -- none o' this gymnastic garbage..."

Ward: "No flippy floppy flippy!"

Nathan: "You tell 'em, Shannon. So Paul Heyman -- you think somehow that knowing holds and bein' flexible is all there is to bein' a star? Step into my world. Try to destroy me. Cuz at the end o' the day, I'll still be the US champion, and you and your little punks won't know what him 'em. G'day."

Ward: "Byeeeeeeeeeee!"

- Oh, good, Tazz is on the heel side. I was afraid Vince was just going to collect Team Mr. McMahon Hard On or something. Whew.

- Jamie Noble v. Billy Gunn. Aw, man, it's days like this I wish I weren't an unbiased reporter. Noble chops away at Gunn to start, but Gunn gets a tilt-a-whirl for two. Press slam gets two. Noble ducks a right hand and gets a German suplex for two. Noble with a monkey flip out of the corner, then goes up top with a missile dropkick for two. Noble gets a shinbreaker and clips Gunn for two, then slaps on the Trailer Hitch for the tap-out at 3:11. Buh bye, Rockabilly. *1/4

- Backstage, it's all about Eddie.

Eddie Guerrero walks into the locker room, to see Billy Kidman there, head buried in his hands.

Eddie: "Kidman, hombre, how's it goin', man?"

Kidman: "Not now. I'm not in the mood for your little jive talk."

Eddie: "Hey -- what's the big deal? This still about Torrie?"

Kidman: "Of course! Dammit, Eddie, I miss her. I miss having her by my side at night. I miss being able to tell her what it's like in there. I miss being able to share my victories and be consoled by my defeats. I just want comfort. I want... I want to feel love."

Eddie: "C'mon, man, chill out, okay? Look, we got a match comin' up on Sunday, bro. I wanna make sure your head's in it. This is big for me -- for all of us. I'm lookin' for a rematch, man. We facin' the WWE Champion. Don't that get your blood pumpin'?"

Kidman: "No! Why should it? Eddie, don't you understand? I have nothing."

Eddie: "No, no, no, esse -- I've had even less nothing than you. I know what it's like. You don't. This is a setback, man -- she'll be back. You wanna spend your life mopin' and whinin' or you gon make her see the light? Which is it, man?"

Kidman: "I don't know."

Eddie: "You don know. You don't wanna wrestle. You don wanna do this. You just gon sit back and mope all yo' life. What kinda man are you? Look, I know Undertaker, man -- he's messin with yer head, but... this ain't about Undertaker on Sunday. It's about Matt Hardy, and about the WWE Title. You gon' let a chance to win the WWE Title slip away -- just because some girl ain't returnin' your phone calls or somethin? Look, man, come with me after the show -- I take you out, we visit a few clubs -- you forget all about her, ok?"

Kidman: "It's not gonna work. I don't expect you to get it. This is love. This is my life."

Eddie: "NO! Your life is in the ring, man! Look, you don' think there weren't days I didn't wanna do it either? But I got in there, and I worked my ass off, and I gave the fans somethin' to cheer about! What you got, man? Show the fans you care. Show Torrie you care some other way, man. She'll be there on Sunday. I want you there too."

- Okay, seriously, they GOTTA stop teasing this and blow it off sometime soon. I mean, c'mon, the story's treading water now, right?

- Ultimo Dragon v. Bull Buchanan. Well, seeing as how the RTC storyline has fizzled out (again) Bull is kinda left without a gimmick other than "big ugly mofo who'll beat you into a pulp." I mean, not that I miss the RTC, but it's pretty clear Richards and Morley are headed to tag team jobberdom. Still, Bull needs a manager, STAT. Nice of him to keep the outfit, though. Adds a touch of class. Ultimo fires off a forearm at Bull, but runs into a big boot. Springboard clothesline and Bull punches away. Bull with a suplex and splash for two. Ultimo kicks away in desperation, but Bull calmly grabs a headlock and goes for a bulldog. Ultimo shoves Bull into the corner and rolls him up for two. Ultimo gets a headscissors on Bull, then grabs a camel clutch. Bull stands up and splats him for two. Bodyvice, but Ultimo grabs a flipping neckbreaker out of it. Kicks to the neck stagger the big man, but a crossbody is ducked as the ref eats it. Bull with a powerbomb and flying legdrop, but SONJAY DUTT of all people runs in with a rana. 450 splash, and Ultimo hits the Asai DDT for the pin at 6:05. Bah. *3/4 Paul Heyman emerges announces his team: Ultimo, Dutt, Noble, and Ron Killings. This could easily be the biggest trainwreck of styles clashes I have ever seen in my life. And I mean that in a good way.

- Tazz and Joey Numbahs v. 3 Live Kru. It's still Dogg and Killings here, as apparently Konnan's drug suspension is really throwing a monkey wrench into plans. Apparently, they were going to go with Ultimo/Kru v. Jones/RTC, but everything fell apart and no one gives a crap about the RTC anyway. Still, as Plan B's go, I've seen worse. It's BONZO GONZO to start as the Kru do all their signature spots on Tazz and pinball him around. Numbahs runs Killings over with a big boot, however, and Tazz gets a T-Bone suplex for two. Numbahs in, and a press slam gets two. He gets a Derailer for two. Tazz enters with a release German suplex for two. Numbahs again, and a brainbuster gets two. Lariat misses, and Killings with a jumping neckbreaker, hot tag Dogg. Punching abounds, but Tazz cuts it off with an Exploder. Numbahcrunchah finishes at 7:10. Morgan looks like a million bucks in there. **1/4

- So, hey, what's goin' on this Sunday from SmackDown!'s standpoint, anyhow?

* For the vacant WWE Tag Team Titles: RVD/Hurricane v. Pure Energy

* Elimination Match: Eddie/Taker/Kidman/Rey v. Matt/Shannon/Evan/Basham

* Elimination Match: Kurt/Brock/Haas/Shelton v. Eric/Edge/Tajiri/Colt

* Elimination Match: Nathan/Bull/Tazz/Joey v. Ultimo/Dutt/Noble/Killings

- Certainly looks like they're transitioning heat where they can -- it'll be interesting to see if, for example, a Dutt/Noble team comes out of this -- but with no events between the Series and the Rumble for SmackDown!, it's probably for the best. Still, the tag title match alone will be awesome, and the Team Turmoil v. Mattitude throwdown can't hurt things either.

- Non-title: Matt Hardy Version 2.0 v. Scott Colt. Man, has anyone's stock risen faster than Colt's? I wonder how CM Punk feels -- HE'S almost the Marty Jannetty of the Second City Saints at this point. Anyway, Hardy runs over Colt to start and works the arm, but Colt goes to the ropes and gets a suplex. Front chancery, but Hardy fights out and scores a Northern Lights suplex for two. Inverted atomic drop gets two. Colt fights back with a baseball dropkick to the knee (for lack of a better name) and a rollup for two. He goes to a headscissors, but Hardy bridges to get two on Colt before he releases. Hardy with a hammerlock, but Colt flips over and gets a neck snap for two. Hardy bails, so Colt follows. Hardy suckers Colt into the post and wraps his arm around it a few times. Back in, Hardy with an arm wrench and clothesline for two. He grabs Move #451 (ARM-bar) as we go to break. We come back with Colt leveraging Hardy out of the ring, then suplexing him back in for two. Hardy with a shoulderblock for two, then on to Move #581 (arm-BAR). Colt fights out, only to get hit with a hammerlock suplex. Hardy kicks the arm just for fun, then gets a tornado armbreaker. Colt kicks Hardy away and charges, but runs into a Bossman Slam for two. Hardy goes to the top, but the Ctrl/Alt/Delete misses and Colt gets a slingshot legdrop for two. Colt 45 try is fubared due to the arm, and Hardy falls on top for two. Hardy drops Colt in a flapjack, arm first, then stomps away at it. Colt dodges a forearm smash and gets a drop toehold and rollup for two. Butterfly suplex gets two. To the top, and a missile dropkick... causes Colt to land on his arm. Whoops. Hardy crawls over with the Twist of Fate and a crossface chickenwing (just because he can) for the tapout at 13:30. Tougher than expected outing for Matt. ***3/4

- Main event interview: Kurt Angle emerges and calls his brother out. The two stare each other down as Kurt goes into INCREDIBLE detail about his career and how he thought he knew Eric better. He compares Eric to Esau and himself to Jacob, noting how the younger one got all the glory. Eric calls Kurt the Prodigal Son, wanting to know where he was when his sister had cancer. Kurt: "I had gold medals to win, all right? We have 4 or 5 sisters -- the family has only 1 Olympic gold!" Eric declares Kurt to be a pathetic brother and the black sheep of the family, and that this Sunday it's on. How about right now, asks Kurt, as Brock Lesnar enters and the two-on-one beatdown ensues. Edge runs out for the save and gets the Ankle Lock on Kurt as Kurt taps! Brock breaks it up, Eric breaks up an F-5, and the Usual Idiots run in as we end the show.

The Bottom Line:

The little guys are absolutely making the big guys look bad, and that's not just in their Survivor Series encounter. With Billy Gunn unable to do anything worthwhile and Bull Buchanan being dragged by Ultimo, it looks like a revolution in progress. Unfortunately, the Undertaker is still prominently involved in the title scene, but even that has to end soon, I think.

Until next time, VIVA GUERRERO!

*****

No prediction contest. C'mon, half of you are helping me book the thing anyway!

*****

WWE SURVIVOR SERIES

November 14, 2004

Cleveland, OH

FINAL CARD

ELIMINATION CHAMBER for the World Heavyweight Title:

Chris Jericho © vs. Chris Benoit vs. Molly Holly vs. Randy Orton vs. Rhyno vs. Shawn Michaels

TOURNAMENT FINAL for the WWE Tag Team Titles:

Hurricane and Rob Van Dam vs. Pure Energy

Christian vs. Kane

PLUS!

Traditional SURVIVOR SERIES elimination matches!

Matt Hardy, Shannon Moore, Evan Karagias, and Doug Basham

vs.

Eddie Guerrero, Undertaker, Billy Kidman, and Rey Misterio

Lance Storm, Sting, Chris Harris, Scott Hall, and Booker T

vs.

Christopher Nowinski, Rodney Mack, Batista, Michael Shane, and David Flair

Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, Charlie Haas, and Shelton Benjamin

vs.

Eric Angle, Edge, Tajiri, and Scott Colt

Triple H, Maven, Trish Stratus, and Tracy

vs.

Mike Awesome, Sylvain Grenier, Valerie, and Lucille LaChienne

Nathan Jones, Bull Buchanan, Tazz, and Joey Numbahs

vs.

Ultimo Dragon, Sonjay Dutt, Jamie Noble, and Ron Killings

[Jam]

No contest, but to me this is for fun.

ELIMINATION CHAMBER for the World Heavyweight Title:

Chris Jericho © vs. Chris Benoit vs. Molly Holly vs. Randy Orton vs. Rhyno vs. Shawn Michaels

TOURNAMENT FINAL for the WWE Tag Team Titles:

Hurricane and Rob Van Dam vs. Pure Energy

Christian vs. Kane

PLUS!

Traditional SURVIVOR SERIES elimination matches!

Matt Hardy, Shannon Moore, Evan Karagias, and Doug Basham

vs.

Eddie Guerrero, Undertaker, Billy Kidman, and Rey Misterio

Lance Storm, Sting, Chris Harris, Scott Hall, and Booker T

vs.

Christopher Nowinski, Rodney Mack, Batista, Michael Shane, and David Flair

Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, Charlie Haas, and Shelton Benjamin

vs.

Eric Angle, Edge, Tajiri, and Scott Colt

Triple H, Maven, Trish Stratus, and Tracy

vs.

Mike Awesome, Sylvain Grenier, Valerie, and Lucille LaChienne

Nathan Jones, Bull Buchanan, Tazz, and Joey Numbahs

vs.

Ultimo Dragon, Sonjay Dutt, Jamie Noble, and Ron Killings

[The Third Dukes]

One World Leader. Entertainment.

"The Same" by Nonpoint leads us into a series of montages surrounding this event. We find out all about the troubles between Kane and Christian, Lance Storm and Chris Nowinski, and Ultimo Dragon and Nathan Jones. We see Chris Jericho fighting off all comers, Evolution standing strong, and Rhyno blasting Molly. We see highlights of the wins in the Tag Team Title Tournament by Nova, London, RVD, and Hurricane. And we end with the descent of the Elimination Chamber.

And now... RAW... SmackDown!... and World Wrestling Entertainment present...

WWE SURV1VOR SER1ES

(First half)

EVEN THOUGH WE HAPPEN TO BE IN CLEVELAND WE STILL NEED TO SET OFF A TON OF PYRO as we are LIVE on Pay-Per-View for the #4 show of the year! Sign in the crowd: "Don't Get Eliminated!" That's right, we're all about cross-promotion. Shameless, we are.

Josh: "We're in the blue-collar capital of America, as a host of WWE Superstars try not just to survive, but to thrive, in this 8 o'clock world! Welcome to Cleveland, Ohio and the Survivor Series! I'm Josh Matthews alongside Jonathan Coachman, and Coach, whether it's individual gold or team glory, everyone's hoping to survive one last time tonight!"

Coach: "That's right, Josh. You have the Elimination Chamber making its third annual appearance tonight! Jericho! Benoit! Rhyno! Orton! Molly! Shawn! One of them will become the World Heavyweight Champion!"

Josh: "While on SmackDown!, it's the culmination of a long tournament to determine the WWE Tag Team Champions! Paul London and Nova square off against Rob Van Dam and the Hurricane!"

Intros begin for the first match.

Josh: "Well, from the sounds of it, we're just about ready to begin a thrilling night at Survivor Series, so let's turn it over to Good Ol' JR and Positively Page for the call of our opening match."

JR: "Thanks very much, Josh, and it looks like we're going to open tonight's Survivor Series with the future of the Intercontinental Title on the line."

DDP: "That's right -- and it's real simple. If the champ's team comes out on top, he locks his opponents out of the title picture for as long as he has it. Otherwise, it's all to play for, and ya gotta think that motivation means somethin'."

Harvard's fight song plays as Chris Nowinski, Rodney Mack, and Theodore Long head to the ring.

Lilian: "The following contest is the opening match of the Survivor Series and is under Classic Survivor Series rules. Introducing first, Team #1: to be accompanied by Theodore Long, from the Mean Streets of New Orleans, LA, here is Rodney Mack! And his partner, from Cambridge, MA, the team captain and Intercontinental Champion, Christopher Nowinski!"

"Evolution" by Motorhead plays as Batista, Michael Shane, and David Flair emerge.

Lilian: "And their partners, Batista, Michael Shane, and David Flair of Evolution!"

The tires screech and lead into Cuban street music as Scott Hall enters. He hits the pose atop the ramp, and streams shoot out from behind him.

Lilian: "And their opponents: first, from Miami, FL, here is Scott Hall!"

Can You Dig It, Sucka?! Hall awaits on the entrance as Booker T emerges from the back. He looks at his hand, shakes, nods, and unleashes the pyro.

Lilian: "From Houston, Texas, Booker T!"

Chris Harris' music (which is actually the same music Kerry Von Erich used in the 15-20 minutes he was a WWF star) plays as Harris and Sting come in from the back, firing each other up and wearing the gold.

Lilian: "The World Tag Team champions, the team of Chris Harris and Sting!"

Stately music plays as Lance Storm emerges, posing at the top of the ramp.

Lilian: "And the team captain, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, Lance Storm!"

Elimination rules: "The Best and the Brightest" (Christopher Nowinski ©, Rodney Mack, Batista, Michael Shane, David Flair) vs. "Storm Front" (Lance Storm ©, Sting, Chris Harris, Booker T, Scott Hall)

It's a huge donnybrook to start, as everyone pairs off -- Nowinski and Storm, Hall and Batista, Harris and Shane, Sting and Flair, and Booker and Mack. Booker tosses Mack into the ropes and hits a spinebuster as all of his teammates get in the ten punch position in the corners. Everyone (Booker as well) hits ten straight punches on their opponents. Booker pulls Mack aside as Sting and Harris whipe Shane and Flair together. Booker clotheslines both men down, but Mack jumps on Booker's back with the Blackout. Hall yanks him off and picks him up, hitting a fallaway slam on him. Booker bounces off the ropes and hits a tiptoe kneedrop on Mack. Everyone clears the ring as Booker looks at his hand. He shakes his head, nods, and hits a Spinaroonie. Off the ropes he goes, and Mack is nailed with the Scissors Kick. From there, it's an easy 3 to end his night.

OUT: Rodney Mack (3:26)

David Flair charges in and pounds on Booker, but a whip into the ropes is reversed and Booker gets a powerslam. He brings Scott Hall in, and Hall sends Flair into the heel corner before meeting him with a clothesline (as Batista tags himself in). Hall sends Flair back to his own corner and clotheslines him again. Hall whips Flair back a third time, but gets run over on the follow-through by a Batista lariat. Batista picks Hall up and kicks him in the stomach. He then nails Hall with a sit-out powerbomb, maintaining the cover and finishing Hall off.

OUT: Scott Hall (5:31)

Everybody runs in at this point as the referee loses control of the match. Batista and Sting brawl on the outside as Harris and Flair distract the ref. Booker, meanwhile, gets a leg lariat on Shane and appears to have him down when Theodore Long tosses Nowinski his cane. Booker bounces off the ropes, only to run square into a cane shot from Nowinski. The cane (which did not break) is returned to Long as Shane ascends the ropes. He frames it and dives off, hitting the Picture Perfect Elbow on Booker. Nowinski turns the referee around, and Booker T is sent to the locker room.

OUT: Booker T (7:45)

Shane celebrates, but turns around and gets slugged by Harris. Harris sends Shane into the ropes, and Shane tries a crossbody out of them. Harris catches him and slams him down in the Catatonic. He covers, and just like that the sides are even again.

OUT: Michael Shane (8:47)

Flair jumps in and pounds on Harris' back, hitting a DDT for two. He sends Harris into the ropes, but Harris spears him down for two. Harris brings in Sting, who whips Flair into the ropes and gets an inverted atomic drop. Sting tags Harris back in, and Harris goes up to the top rope. Sting gives Flair a backbreaker as Harris leaps in with a guillotine legdrop, a move JR hints he's familiar with. Harris covers, and that's two in a row that fall to the Wildcat.

OUT: David Flair (10:40)

Batista charges in, but a fearless Harris meets him head-on with a clip, knocking him over. Harris slaps on the Sharpshooter, causing Batista to scream in pain. Batista, though, powers his way to the ropes. Harris keeps kicking the leg, bouncing off the ropes and dropkicking Batista's knee. He bounces off a second time, but this time Batista catches him and throws him down with a vicious spinebuster. Harris has the wind out of him, and Batista takes advantage, covering for the pin.

OUT: Chris Harris (12:25)

Sting dives in with a flying lariat on Batista to knock him over. He re-applies the Scorpion to Batista, and this time Batista's efforts to get to the ropes go nowhere. Batista is forced to tap out as Sting leans back.

OUT: Batista (13:12)

But Nowinski races in and smashes Sting in the back of the head with a facemask-assisted headbutt before returning the facial gear to Long. Nowinski covers, and it's 1-on-1.

OUT: Sting (14:10)

Storm calmly enters the ring, but Nowinski charges. Storm sidesteps, then pounds on Nowinski in the corner. He sends Nowinski to the opposite corner and hits a running dropkick, then nails Nowinski with a spinkick to knock him down. Storm mounts Nowinski and slugs away, then rolls back and picks up Nowinski's leg for a half-crab. Nowinski scrambles to the ropes, pulling himself to his feet and trying an enzuigiri. Storm ducks it and Nowinski is on his face before escaping to the outside. Nowinski picks up the title and begins to walk to the back, but Long catches up with him. The two talk in the aisle, with Long specifically telling Nowinski about the title shot Storm will earn. Nowinski heads back while Long stalls the ref for time. Nowinski slides in and swings the belt at Storm, but misses. Storm superkicks the belt into Nowinski's face, then disposes of the evidence. Storm slaps on the Maple Leaf half-crab again, and this time when the ref turns around, Nowinski is motionless. A check of the arm reveals no sign of life, and the bell sounds to end the match.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Lance Storm (18:32)

JR: "There it is! There will be a rematch! One more time -- Lance Storm -- and Chris Nowinski will square off, and this time, it's on Lance Storm's terms!"

DDP: "And that's the key right there, Jim. It's when HE wants it, when HE thinks it's good. It won't be when the champ dictates, it won't be Bischoff, it won't be the fans -- this time, it's in Lance Storm's hands!"

JR: "Nothin' wrong with the fans, Page, but... you know as well as I do that the key is being in charge of your own destiny."

Now on DVD! A night of unexplained violence and absolute grudges ends in the most dangerous structure known to man -- but not before the blood flows and the fire burns. Chris Benoit and Nick Mondo -- Last Man Standing! Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Title! And Randy Orton faces the legendary Sting inside Hell in a Cell! WWE presents Unforgiven -- own it now on DVD wherever videos are sold!

We cut backstage where HHH is standing with his team, only for once he's not the one talking.

Trish: "Look here, Hunter -- I just hope this little thing ends tonight. I wanna know why you'd put her on a team with me. What do you see in her?"

Tracy: "Trish, wait a second. You think he's comin' on to me? You think you're losing him? Maybe there's a reason. After all, I wouldn't want to be with someone who's so jealous all the time."

Trish: "And why would I be jealous? I'm already his girlfriend, right Hunter?"

HHH: "Look... just drop all this right now, okay? Both of you! We have a match to win. I wanna know whose side you're on, and I wanna make sure it's mine. You think Mike Awesome gives a damn what either of you are thinking of the other? Don't you remember how he tried to injure you two? That's right. So let's make it happen. Let's make this match mean something. Got it? Let's go."

HHH and Trish leave, with Trish turning around and sticking out her tongue at Tracy. Tracy shakes her head and turns to Maven.

Tracy: "It's not fair. She gets everything. What do I get? I'm just her... her follower. I wanna be something more."

Maven: "You can be. Go out there and take the high road. Be the better woman. Then you'll be more."

Tracy: "Really? You think I'm better? That's so sweet..."

HHH (from off-camera): "Guys! Now!"

Tracy rolls her eyes and heads off. Maven shrugs and follows as the camera takes us back to ringside.

JR: "Well, I... I don't know any more, Page, but it looks like Triple H might be the real captain of Team Turmoil tonight."

DDP: "It's sure leaning in that direction, Jimbo, but ya gotta remember -- this ain't a case of one team otherwise overpowering another -- you'd have to think twice about bettin' against Mike Awesome under any circumstances this year."

The decidedly French music of La Résistance plays over the PA as the combatants begin to head to the ring. Sylvain Grenier is flying the tricolore, and Lucille is dressed in a fleur-de-lys wrestling outfit.

Lilian: "The following contest is a classic Survivor Series elimination match. Introducing first, from Paris, France, Sylvain Grenier! And from Versailles, Lucille LaChienne! They are La Résistance!"

"Never Scared (WWE Remix)" plays and out comes Mike Awesome, with Valerie leading the way. Valerie's outfit looks like an business suit and is clearly out of place.

Lilian: "From Beverly Hills, California, here is Valerie! And the team captain, from Tampa, Florida, Mike Awesome!"

Tough Enough's theme plays as Maven enters with Tracy right behind him. The two may be entering together, but they show no more connection than any other thrown-together team.

Lilian: "And their opponents -- first, from Charlottesville, Virginia, Maven! And from St. Mary's, Ontario, Tracy!"

Motorhead's "Game" plays as HHH enters to go through his routine -- all with Trish by his side.

HHH: "From Toronto, Canada, Trish Stratus! And the captain, from Greenwich, Connecticut, The Game, Triple H!"

Both sides hold a discussion -- well, okay, Trish and Tracy have a slightly more heated discussion -- before finally Maven breaks the huddle and grabs Lucille from behind.

Elimination Match: Triple H, Maven, Trish Stratus, and Tracy vs. Mike Awesome, Sylvain Grenier, Valerie, and Lucille LaChienne

Maven tries to roll Lucille up, but Grenier breaks at two. Grenier takes over on Maven, clubbing him in the back and slamming him down. He covers for two, then goes to the chinlock. Maven powers out of it and throws Grenier into the corner, tagging in HHH. Grenier is sent into the ropes by Maven, but ducks a Maven clothesline and slams on the brakes short of HHH. He points to his head, only to turn around and get dropkicked by Maven into a HHH facecrusher. HHH bounces off the ropes and drops an elbow on Grenier, covering for... three?

OUT: Sylvain Grenier (2:17)

After recovering from the surprise of seeing Grenier eliminated, Mike Awesome steps in and stares HHH down. The two immediately get into a huge slugfest that takes up 30 seconds and ends with Awesome flattening HHH with a right hook. HHH tags out to Maven, who tries to fire off forearms at Awesome's jaw. Awesome reels, but then bounces off the ropes and flattens Maven with a lariat. Awesome picks Maven up and powerbombs him straight in the center of the ring. He covers for two. Awesome then sets Maven on the top rope and hooks him up for Splash Mountain, but runs forward and drops Maven on the campus -- the ECW Awesome Bomb. Awesome covers, and there's just no way Maven's getting up from it.

OUT: Maven (5:11)

Everyone runs back in and pairs off, with HHH battling Awesome while Trish and Tracy double-team Lucille and Valerie remains conspicuously on the sideline. HHH tosses Awesome from the ring while Tracy whips Lucille into the corner. She follows in with a big reverse elbow, only to be caught with the same by Trish, who was handspringing in. Tracy recovers in time to shove Trish aside, and both women begin to yell at each other. At that moment, though, HHH makes his return to the ring and sees the fight. He gets between the two of them to separate them, but just when it appears things have fizzled down, HHH kicks Tracy in the gut and Pedigrees her. Trish jumps into HHH's arms, but that allows HHH to give her a spinebuster on the canvas. HHH then walks away from the match. Valerie, meanwhile, jumps into the ring and covers Tracy as the referee turns around. Tracy ain't getting up from the Pedigree, that's for sure.

OUT: Tracy (8:52)

Lucille enters the ring as Trish begins to get up and hits her with a German suplex plus bridge. That's enough for the three-count.

OUT: Trish Stratus (9:19)

From there, it's all over but the counting to 10 to signify that HHH is officially eliminated from the match he walked out on.

SURVIVORS: Mike Awesome, Valerie, Lucille LaChienne (9:56)

JR: "Dammit! What the hell happened there? How did this happen? What is the Game thinking? Why, Hunter? Why attack them?"

DDP: "He was fed up with the two girls arguing, but... this is a pretty drastic way to make a statement, isn't it? I... I don't know."

JR: "I'm being told Matt Cappotelli is trying to catch up with HHH -- let's see if we can get a word with him."

Cut to backstage.

Cappotelli: "Triple H, please, a quick word..."

HHH spins around and towers over the reporter.

HHH: "You want a word with me? You want to know what I've been through? Being fought over like a piece of meat? This is not why I am in the WWE -- to be the middle corner of a love triangle! I'm here to win gold! I'm here to win the World Title! And now, with those two bitches out of my life, I'll have everything I need to focus on my goal! I will be the next World Heavyweight champion! You tell whoever comes out of that Elimination Chamber that I'll be waiting for them! And they'd better not bet against the Game!"

HHH storms off. We return to the ring, where we see Trish helping Tracy out of the ring and helping her walk to the back. Both women can be heard to say "I'm sorry" as JR and DDP seem uncomfortable. We go to the empty arena shot, and a man alone in the ring. It's Matt Hardy.

Hardy: "I grew up constantly being told I was too little and constantly being compared to my brother."

Footage of WMX7.

JR: "What in the hell is Jeff Hardy doing?"

Back.

Hardy: "I had to put him into the earth when he died doing what he loved."

Footage of Matt and Hurricane standing side-by-side during Jeff's funeral, then a quick cut back.

Hardy: "I was berated for not bailing someone out, and everyone wished me nothing but pain and misery."

Cut to SummerSlam 2004, as Lita kicks Matt in the groin.

Cole: "And just like that, Matt Hardy gets what's coming to him from the new mother!"

Back.

Hardy: "People around me left me -- people around me were taken away."

Pictures of A-Train, Hurricane, and Big Bubba Rogers. Then back.

Hardy: "But when no one else believed in me, I took myself to the top of the game."

Footage from No Mercy of Hardy's title win.

Cole: "SWANTON! His brother's move! The cover! Three! We have a new champion!"

We go to a close-up of Matt.

Hardy: "My name is Matt Hardy. Go ahead. Tell me I'm fake."

WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT

REAL PEOPLE -- REAL LIVES

Back to the arena.

Cole: "And we will see the much-maligned and much-underrated champion Matt Hardy 2.0 later tonight when he leads his Mattitude team against perhaps the most dysfunctional group in WWE history -- Eddie Guerrero, the Undertaker, Billy Kidman, and Rey Misterio -- none of whom seem to trust each other, Corny."

Cornette: "That's true enough, Michael Cole, but now we got a totally different match on our minds, as it's time to see whether Nathan Jones is a man of his word. You know he said big men can be wrestlers too -- so let's find out if he knows how to pick them."

Tazz's old-school music hits as he and Joey Numbahs emerge from the back.

Chimel: "The following contest will be contested under elimination rules. Introducing first, from the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, New York, at a total combined weight of 568 pounds, Joey Numbahs and Tazz!"

The sirens sound and Bull Buchanan marches to the ring.

Chimel: "And their partner, from Eddyville, KY, weighing 285 pounds, Right to Censor member Bull Buchanan!"

The didgeridoo plays as Nathan Jones emerges from the back with Shannon Ward wearing his US title.

Chimel: "And the team captain, accompanied by Shannon "Psycho" Ward, from Boggo Road in Queensland, Australia, weighing 330 pounds, the WWE United States Champion, Nathan Jones!"

"Ch-Check It Out" plays as the opposing team enters all at once -- well, with Ultimo stopping at the top of the ramp to hit the post and set off his pyro, of course.

Chimel: "And their opponents, being accompanied by Paul Heyman and Nidia, at a total combined weight of 815 pounds, the team of Sonjay Dutt, Jamie Noble, the WWE Cruiserweight Champion Ron Killings, and captain Ultimo Dragon!"

Elimination Match: Nathan Jones, Bull Buchanan, Tazz, and Joey Numbahs vs. Ultimo Dragon, Ron Killings, Jamie Noble, and Sonjay Dutt

The faces use their speed to duck around the heels, eventually knocking all four from the ring. They meet in the center, stand backs in a circle, and dive off at all four men in stereo planchas. As the action gets fast and furious on the outside, Tazz and Noble work their way in. Noble slugs Tazz down, then bounces off the ropes, only to get caught by Tazz in a T-Bone suplex. Tazz mounts Noble and pounds away at his face before picking him up. He grabs Noble in an overhead suplex and tosses him across the ring. As Noble picks himself up, Tazz stands behind him and slaps on the Tazzmission. Noble quickly taps out in the hold.

OUT: Jamie Noble (2:36)

Dutt rolls in behind Tazz and connects with a dropkick to send him to the floor. Dutt bounces off the rope to try a dive, but Jones enters and steamrolls Dutt with a Punt. Jones covers, and it's quickly 4-on-2.

OUT: Sonjay Dutt (3:25)

Ultimo enters the ring and ducks a Jones boot, nailing him with a superkick. Jones slumps over the top rope, so Killings pops up and snaps his neck on it. Ultimo climbs to the top rope and hits a tornado DDT on a staggered Jones. He covers, but Bull breaks it up at two. Killings enters and pounds away on Bull as Ultimo tosses Jones and follows with a slingshot pescado. Killings sends Bull into the corner, but Bull bounces up and hits Killings with the rebound lariat. He covers for two (as it becomes clear tag rules don't necessarily apply). Bull picks Killings up and sets up a powerbomb, but Killings backdrops out of it. He bounces off the ropes and hits a swinging neckbreaker on Bull. Killings ascends to the top rope, but Numbahs races over and shoves him off. Bull bounces off the ropes to try a scissors kick on Killings, but Killings slides away and jumps on Bull's back with a sleeper. Bull backs into the corner, but Killings remains seated on the turnbuckle. As Bull turns around, Killings leaps and gets Bull with a sunset flip. Bull is caught off-guard, and the pinfall attempt gets the three-count.

OUT: Bull Buchanan (7:46)

Numbahs runs in and boots down Killings. He picks Killings up over his head and launches him out of the ring and onto the guardrail. Numbahs follows to the outside and picks Killings up, tossing him over the top rope back in. He covers, but picks Killings up at 2. Numbahs tosses Killings into the ropes and boots him again, this time tagging Tazz in. Tazz looms over Killings for the Tazzmission, but Killings slides to the outside. Jones chases Killings down and tosses him back in, allowing Tazz to get a release German suplex for two. Tazz picks Killings up and tags in Numbahs, who grabs Killings in a piledriver position. Tazz looks ready to spike Killings when Road Dogg and Konnan emerge from the back and take out Tazz and Numbahs. They pull Killings to safety as the trio head to the back -- seeing as how Killings was DQ'd for outside interference and all.

OUT: Ron Killings (11:26)

Ultimo slowly steps into the ring as Nathan steps in with him. Nathan charges, but Ultimo avoids it and kicks away at Nathan in the corner. He sends Nathan into the opposite corner, but that's his team's corner, so Tazz makes the tag. Tazz cuts Ultimo off with a shoulderblock. He tags in Numbahs, who picks Ultimo up in a press slam, then bounces off the ropes and drops the leg for two. He stands Ultimo up and whips him into the ropes, bouncing off the other side and getting a lariat for two. Numbahs brings Jones back in, and Jones backs Ultimo into the corner. He lands a series of lefts and rights on Ultimo's temple, but Ultimo begins to put up his hands to block. The referee stands between them, allowing Jones to celebrate thinking he's won. But Ultimo is still in it and climbs to the top rope. Jones turns around and is nailed with the Asai DDT. Ultimo covers, and he steals the pin.

OUT: Nathan Jones (14:56)

As Ultimo pulls himself up, Numbahs enters and kicks him in the gut. He picks Ultimo up and hits the Numbah Crunchah. Numbahs holds the cover, and that's that.

SURVIVORS: Tazz and Joey Numbahs (15:30)

Cole: "It looks like Nathan Jones was right after all -- there is a place for the big bruiser in the world of the WWE."

Cornette: "Not just that, Michael Cole, but he made an absolute fool out of Paul Heyman and Ultimo Dragon, and you know damn well nothing makes me feel better than seeing Heyman made a fool out of."

Cole: "Well, I wouldn't go that far. Remember, Ultimo pinned the US Champion -- that's gotta be worth something."

Cornette: "Not if he lost the match, it ain't."

Cole: "Folks, we're ready for the last match in the WWE Tag Team title tournament. It's Rob Van Dam and the Hurricane squaring off against Pure Energy. Let's look back at how these two teams got here!"

A series of flashbacks shows Roddy Piper calling everyone into his office and explaining the tag titles have to be vacated for Survivor Series. We see Nova and London win their first-round match in England, then talk about getting overlooked. A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG video shows Kurt and Brock doing various nasty things to Nova and London, only to have them sneak out a win. Meanwhile, RVD and Hurricane breeze through the Maximos on the way to the semifinals. In the semis, Nova and London pull out a win over Tazz and Joey, while Hurricane resorts to the Vertebreaker to beat World's Greatest Tag Team. And now, the finals: Rob Van Dam. Hurricane. Nova. Paul London. Let's go.

Cole: "We've been waiting for six weeks to see who the new WWE Tag Team champions are going to be, and tonight, we find out once and for all."

Cornette: "And I gotta say I don't feel comfortable backing any horse in this little race, cuz Nova and London have been defying the odds all throughout the tournament and stand poised to do it again."

"One of a Kind" hits as RVD and Stephanie emerge.

Chimel: "The following contest is the tournament final! It is scheduled for one fall, and the winner will be named the WWE Tag Team Champions! Introducing first, accompanied by Stephanie McMahon, from Battle Creek, Michigan, weighing in at 239 pounds, Rob Van Dam!"

STAND BACK is heard over the PA as Hurricane heads to the ring.

Chimel: "And his partner, from Parts Unknown, weighing 191 pounds, the Hurricane!"

"Not Quite Intergalactic" plays. Out come Nova and London in matching tights and more excited than ever.

Chimel: "And their opponents, at a total combined weight of 405 pounds, Nova and Paul London, Pure Energy!"

Everyone meets in the middle of the ring as Andrew Thomas goes over the rules. The combatants shake hands and prepare. It looks like Hurricane and London will start the match as we ring the bell.

Tournament Final for the vacant WWE Tag Team titles: Rob Van Dam and Hurricane vs. Pure Energy

They lock up, and London grabs a headlock. Hurricane shoves off, and after London leaps over on the rebound, Hurricane hits an armdrag. London springs back up and charges into a second armdrag, and RVD tags in and nails London with a spinkick. He covers for two. RVD picks London up and tries a second spinkick, but London ducks and hits RVD with a dropkick moonsault. London remains down, allowing Nova to spring off of his back and hit a dropkick of his own, flooring RVD.

Hurricane jumps back in and gets a lariat on Nova, but London is up and hits Hurricane with a release German suplex. London goes to the top, but RVD recovers and follows, hitting a superplex (and landing on Hurricane in the process). Thomas (the ref) clears out Nova and Hurricane as RVD bounces off the ropes and hits Rolling Thunder on London. He covers for two. RVD sends London into the corner and hits a shoulder thrust, followed by a back handspring and a second try, but London counters that into a sunset flip for two.

London picks RVD up and gets a snap suplex before tagging in Nova. Nova climbs straight to the top rope and hits an enzuigiri to the disoriented RVD. Nova gets up and hits RVD with an Oklahoma roll for two. Both men get up, and RVD ducks a Nova forearm shot and hits a back kick to Nova's head. He tags Hurricane in, and the duo get a double Hotshot on Nova. Hurricane rolls Nova up for two. Hurricane slugs away on Nova, sending him into the ropes and hitting a flying forearm on the way out. He picks Nova up and gets a German suplex, bridging and getting two. Hurricane stomps Nova, then picks him up and tries a suplex.

Nova slides out the back and shoves Hurricane into the ropes, getting a rolling reverse cradle for two. Hurricane bounces up first, running at Nova and naililng him with a Shining Wizard. He covers for two. Hurricane goes up top, but his attempt at the Overcast misses. London tags in and waits for Hurricane to get in position before nailing him with a spinebuster and bridging over for two. Both men get up, and London ducks a Hurricane clothesline and tries for a standing monkey flip. Hurricane blocks and turns it into a pinning predicament for two. Hurricane gives a charging London a back body drop, then brings in RVD. RVD gets a series of kicks, ending with a spinkick to the head.

RVD hits a standing moonsault for two. He sends London into the ropes, but when he does the splits, London kicks him square in the jaw. London tags Nova in, and the duo gets a double dropkick before climbing adjacent turnbuckles. London's splash hits RVD's knees, though, and Nova is cut off by Hurricane, who gets a super Frankensteiner on Nova. Hurricane clotheslines London out of the ring, and RVD covers Nova for two. RVD picks Nova up, doubling him over with a kick to the gut, then doing the splits and hitting Nova with a throat thrust.

RVD goes to the top and connects with a split-legged moonsault on Nova for two. RVD tries a clothesline, but Nova ducks it, then hooks RVD in a full-nelson before hitting a Russian legsweep out of the full nelson. Nova covers for two. Nova brings London in, then suplexes RVD as London gets a springboard senton. London covers for two. London picks RVD up and sends him into the ropes, trying a superkick on the way out. RVD catches the foot, however, and tries for a stepover enzuigiri, only to have London duck and get a release German suplex on RVD.

London crawls over for two. London picks RVD up for the Contra Code, but RVD shoves London over the top rope and out. Nova goes over to comfort London, while Hurricane climbs to the top rope and dives onto both men. This gives Pure Energy the chance at a double-team until RVD barrels over the top with a somersault plancha. RVD and London return to the ring, with RVD getting an inverted atomic drop on London, then hitting a leg lariat. RVD goes up to the top, but the Five-Star Frog Splash hits nothing but mat. Nova tags in and grabs RVD in the Spin Doctor, dropping him to the canvas.

He covers, but Hurricane makes the save and all four go at it. RVD and Hurricane whip Nova and London together, but Nova alleyoops London onto RVD for a rana. Hurricane grabs Nova from behind in a straightjacket suplex, bridging for two. Nova tries for the Kryptonite Krunch, but Hurricane dodges it. Hurricane then picks Nova up and hooks him for the Vertebreaker, but London chop blocks Hurricane and Nova rolls forward for the Victory Roll. RVD saves at two.

London nails RVD with a spinkick off the top rope, sending him to the outside. Nova picks Hurricane up and stands him up, and London nails Hurricane with the Contra Code. Nova and London climb adjacent turnbuckles and score with the Photon Blast (Tidal Wave) on a prone Hurricane. Nova covers as London guillotines a returning RVD, and that means we have new champions.

WINNERS and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: Pure Energy (19:57)

Cole: "The dream has come true! Paul London and Nova -- who have survived unbelievable punishment just to get this far -- are the new WWE Tag Team Champions! They did it! They did it at the Survivor Series!"

Cornette: "An unbelievable give-and-take here, both teams having multiple chances to win, but in the end it was the Photon Blast, the Contra Code -- just too much Paul London and Nova, and they deserve it!"

<<<HALFTIME>>>

[The Third Dukes]

No Mercy is available on DVD now! Witness Tag Team Turmoil! See Matt Hardy's emotional WWE Title win! And for one night only -- HE'S BACK! No Mercy is now available wherever DVDs are sold.

Backstage, Edge and Paul Heyman converse.

Edge: "You ready for this, Paul? You got your boys ready?"

Heyman: "Oh, they're damn ready. We're gonna take it to Team Angle -- the team I created -- and the team I'll help destroy!"

Edge: "Those guys thought they could use numbers, huh? Well, now there are no numbers. And now it's all even! And you know we'll take it to 'em in a fair fight."

Heyman: "Exactly. Just... just be careful, though."

Edge: "Careful?"

Heyman: "Well, yeah. I mean, these guys are tough. They're all capable of being champions. And you don't have Hollywood looking out for you now either."

Edge: "Maybe not. But I'm ready to be a champion. And these four boys -- they'll see that I'm Never Gonna Stop. They only think they know me."

Edge walks off, determined. We go to the arena.

Cole: "This is something that has been brewing since July in Philadelphia, Corny, as Kurt Angle's crew has been making several enemies along the way."

Cornette: "That's right, Michael Cole, and now General Manager Roddy Piper has decided that Team Angle's enemies will unite against him, and see if they got what it takes to send a message to the Olympic gold medallist."

"Medal" plays as all five Team Angle members emerge from the back. Kurt pauses atop the ramp to pose and hit his pyro, while Brock sets off his when he jumps onto the apron.

Chimel: "The following contest is a Survivor Series elimination match. Introducing first, being accompanied by teammate Mike Barton, at a total combined weight of 1,075 pounds, Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, Charlie Haas, and Shelton Benjamin, Team Angle!"

The Four Horsemen theme plays as Scott Colt, Paul Heyman, and Tajiri emerge from the back.

Chimel: "And their opponents, first being accompanied by Paul Heyman, at a total combined weight of 422 pounds, Dangerous Alliance members Scott Colt and Tajiri!"

"Made in the USA" plays as Eric Angle walks out in his all-white jacket and USA singlet.

Chimel: "From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing 235 pounds, the team captain, Eric Angle!"

"Never Gonna Stop" hits the PA as the crowd lets out a huge cheer and Edge emerges.

Chimel: "And from Toronto, Canada, weighing 245 pounds, Edge!"

Team Angle (Kurt Angle, Brock Lesnar, Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin) vs. Team Angle (Eric Angle, Edge, Tajiri, Scott Colt)

Everyone floods the ring to start the match, but after a brief brawl it's Kurt and Tajiri facing off. Kurt sends Tajiri into the ropes, where Tajiri handsprings out but is caught by Kurt in a German suplex. He rolls through with Tajiri and hits a second German suplex. He rolls through again, hitting a third German suplex. Kurt picks Tajiri up and tries a vertical suplex, but Tajiri kicks Kurt's leg out. Tajiri hits the praying pose and waits for Kurt to turn into his roundhouse kick, but Kurt catches the leg and knocks Tajiri over, hooking on the Ankle Lock. Before Colt can make the save, Tajiri taps out.

OUT: Tajiri (2:28)

Colt tries a sunset flip on Kurt, but Kurt tags Haas as he falls over. Haas enters and kicks Colt in the shoulder blades. He and Kurt toss Colt to the outside, where Heyman races over and gives Colt some advice. Colt re-enters the ring, and he and Haas get into a mat wrestling sequence, ending with Haas getting a 1/2 nelson bridge for two. Colt fights out and trips Haas, getting his own pinning predicament for two. Haas tries an overhead suplex, but Colt lands on his feet and tags in Edge. Haas turns around, only to get run over by an Edge clothesline. Edge hooks up the Edgecution DDT, but at two, Brock saves. Eric and Brock tumble out of the ring while Haas slowly gets up, only to be nailed with a spear by Edge. Edge covers, and Haas is eliminated.

OUT: Charlie Haas (5:40)

Brock re-enters the ring and tackles Edge down, slugging away at him with fists. He tosses Edge into the ropes and hits an overhead suplex on the way out. Brock covers for two. Brock picks Edge up for a second overhead suplex, but Edge grabs Brock's head and turns it into a neckbreaker. Edge gets up and tries to give Brock an Edgecution, but Brock reverses to a Northern Lights suplex. Brock picks Edge up and boots him hard in the gut, then places him on his shoulders and delivers the F-5. Brock covers, and Edge is out.

OUT: Edge (7:44)

Eric and Colt discuss things on the apron before they both enter the ring and double dropkick Brock. Brock gets up, only to be hit with a front-and-back clothesline for his efforts. Colt heads to the top rope, while Eric holds Brock up, but the referee tells Colt to report to the corner. This allows Kurt to sneak in and try for a medal-assisted punch, but Eric somehow senses it and ducks, with the resulting shot hitting Brock. Eric catches Kurt by the foot as Kurt tries to escape, then slaps on an Ankle Lock of his own. Kurt fights to make the ropes, but as he's inches away, the referee yanks the medals out of his hand and Eric pulls Kurt back. Finally, Kurt is forced to tap to his own move.

OUT: Kurt Angle (10:48)

Brock returns and grabs Eric immediately into the F-5. He picks him up and gives him another one for good measure before covering him for the pin.

OUT: Eric Angle (11:20)

Colt races in, but he's caught in an overhead suplex. Brock picks Colt up for the F-5, but Colt slides down his back and catches Brock in a sunset flip. This time, a stunned Brock is down for the three-count.

OUT: Brock Lesnar (12:03)

Colt faces Shelton, who steps in for the first time. They lock up, and Colt gets a side headlock. Shelton shoves him into the ropes and hits him with a shoulderblock on the way out. Shelton stands Colt up and gets a vertical suplex, floating over on the cover for two. Shelton tosses Colt into the corner and charges in for an avalanche, but Colt sidesteps and gets a German suplex on Shelton, holding the bridge for two. Colt dropkicks Shelton to the outside, where Barton offers pointers. Shelton slowly re-enters the ring, locking up again.

This time, Shelton lands a shot to the gut and scores a DDT for two. Shelton works a rear headlock, torquing Colt's neck. Colt slowly fights to a vertical base and elbows out of it. He bounces off the ropes, but Shelton catches him in a T-Bone suplex. He covers for two. Shelton picks Colt up and sets him on the top rope. He follows up, but Colt is ready and headbutts Shelton off the buckles and to the mat. Colt dives off with a flying tackle, staying on top and covering for two. Colt punches down Shelton, firing off right hands before Shelton blocks and kicks Colt between the legs.

Both men get up, and Shelton gets a German suplex, bridging for two. He tries a second German, but Colt gets a standing switch and hits a rolling reverse cradle with bridge for two. Both men get up, and Colt hits Shelton with a spinkick. He heads to the apron and springboards in with a legdrop for two. Colt tries to pick Shelton up for the Colt 45, but Shelton shifts his weight and lands on top of Colt, putting his feet on the ropes and yet still only getting two.

Colt charges Shelton, but Shelton ducks and grabs Colt in one motion, flapjacking him into the turnbuckle. With Colt dazed, Shelton climbs to the top and lands on Colt in a 450 splash. He covers, and that'll do it.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Shelton Benjamin (19:08)

Cole: "And the unlikeliest member of Team Angle, Shelton Benjamin, has pulled off the victory for his troops!"

Cornette: "Well, we talked about how Colt wanted to get revenge tonight, wanted to settle the score for the Great American Bash with Shelton, but it's not gonna happen, cuz it looks like he's back to the drawing board."

Cole: "Well, for Scott Colt there will be another day, and there will be another fight."

At the end of each year, we come one step closer to the finish of our days. At the end of each year, the WWE steps into the brink of oblivion. Men of action come to the fore, and words are shouted down into anarchy. This December -- The End Is Near. WWE RAW presents Armageddon! Sunday, December 12, LIVE only on Pay-Per-View!

Back to the arena.

JR: "Well, Armageddon is scheduled to come on the 12th of December, but for this young man, it may come a little early."

DDP: "Hey, ya gotta admire Christian's guts. You gotta admire his spirit. You gotta admire his heroism. He's willing to put himself on the line to prove a point to Kane, and that's something lots of people just don't seem willing to do."

"At Last" plays as Christian emerges from the back to a set of cheers.

Lilian: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Toronto, Canada, weighing 215 pounds, Christian!"

The red pyro goes off on the stage as Kane emerges from the back, draped in a towel. He never looks up at Christian until he gets into the ring.

Lilian: "And the opponent, weighing 326 pounds, Kane!"

Kane takes the towel off his head and raises and lowers his arms, setting off the corner pyro. As he does, though, Christian attacks from behind.

Christian vs. Kane

Christian slams Kane's head into the turnbuckle ten times, then nails Kane with a dropkick. Kane is still standing, so Christian nails a dropkick to the knee to bring Kane to one knee. Christian tries a DDT on Kane, nailing it. He heads to the top and lands a kneedrop to Kane's head. Christian stays on the attack, pounding Kane with a series of right hands before the referee calls him off. As Christian stands back, Kane sits up and gets to his feet.

Christian slugs at Kane's gut before sending him into the corner. Christian charges in with a clothesline, but Kane catches Christian by the throat. Christian goes low on Kane to stop the chokeslam, then climbs on Kane's back with a sleeper. Kane flails around before slamming Christian backfirst into the corner. Christian staggers out into a big boot from Kane. Kane ascends the turnbuckle, waiting for Christian to stand, and when Christian does so, Kane dives at him with a clothesline. Kane laughs, then picks Christian up.

He grabs him by the throat and lifts him into the air, holding him there for a full five-count before throwing him down. Kane covers, but picks Christian up at two. Kane tosses Christian into the corner and sets him on the top turnbuckle. He goes to grabs Christian by the throat again, but Christian kicks Kane's hand away. Christian dives onto Kane, hoping for a spinning bulldog, but Kane catches him mid-spin. He adjusts his grip on Christian and drops him with the Burning Hammer. He covers, and the referee gets the three-count.

WINNER: Kane (6:11)

JR: "And bah gawd Kane has destroyed Christian! Kane has shown he has no soul whatsoever!"

DDP: "Unbelievable. The Big Red Monster may be reaching the peak of his form right now... what the hell?"

Kane picks up Christian again and holds him in the Tombstone position. The referee pleads with Kane not to do it, but Kane kicks the referee down and completes the Tombstone. He looks at Christian, who is twitching, then raises his arms and lowers them, setting off his pyro. He turns to leave when Lance Storm appears and superkicks Kane, staggering the monster. Molly Holly races in and grabs Kane's neck, delivering a Diamond Cutter to him. The two grab Christian and help him to the back as Kane lies in the middle of the ring.

JR: "Well, thank God that someone helped out Christian here, or else his career may have ended at the hands of the inhuman Kane."

DDP: "I won't argue that, Jimbo. We got very lucky that they were ready to intervene. Kane -- well, who knows what else Kane would have done?"

JR: "I don't wanna think about it."

What happens when everyone at the WWE takes the day off? The fans take over -- and the results can be havoc! WWE Halloween Havoc is now available on DVD! Find it wherever WWE Home Videos are sold!

We return to ringside as Cole and Cornette get face time.

Cole: "Well, this next match is going to be an interesting one, Corny. You have a united team in Mattitude on one side, but they appear outgunned by Eddie's Team Turmoil!"

Cornette: "And Turmoil is the operative word. All four men have to be thinking about a possible WWE Title shot, and with the other side issues bubbling through this it really seems clear to me that they could self-destruct."

Cole: "You talk about the issues everyone has. The issues surrounding Torrie. The issues surrounding the #1 Contendership. The issues surrounding the raza, the brotherhood. It's almost as if no one on this team is thinking just of being in the match, but they all want more."

Cornette: "Yeah, and that's just the opposite of what Survivor Series is about, Michael Cole. It's supposed to be about putting differences aside and coming together to win a match, and I don't see that happening here."

The search engine enters "Matt Hardy" and clicks go. We load to 10%, 30%, 70%, and 100% before a window pops up with the word UPGRADE in it. Matt's music begins as we see his team emerge from the back. We read the Matt Facts that Matt is a team player and Matt enjoys a trainwreck. All four men enter the ring and hold the V-2 signal high.

Chimel: "The following contest is a classic Survivor Series elimination match. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 840 pounds, the team of Doug Basham, Evan Karagias, Shannon Moore, and the captain and WWE Heavyweight Champion, Matt Hardy Version 2!"

The silhouette appears on the TitanTron, and soon after it "Droppin' Out the Sky" begins as Rey Misterio is launched through the rampway onto the stage.

Chimel: "And their opponents, first, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 175 pounds, Rey Misterio!"

VIVA GUERRERO leads to Mexican folk music. Eddie Guerrero emerges from the back wearing a Mexican flag poncho. With him is a reluctant Billy Kidman, walking with purpose to the ring.

Chimel: "The team captain, from El Paso, Texas, weighing 225 pounds, Eddie Guerrero! Also, from Allentown, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 195 pounds, Billy Kidman!"

The lights go out. A single gong is heard. A second gong follows, after which lightning strikes the stage. The lightning sends a wall of flame up around the stage, which dies out as the gong sounds again. We see two shadows on the stage until a spotlight shines on them, perfectly timed with the funeral march's opening notes. It is the Undertaker and Torrie Wilson, who begin their slow march to the ring.

Chimel: "And accompanied by Torrie Wilson, from Death Valley, weighing in at 305 pounds, The Undertaker!"

As Undertaker approaches the ring, Billy Kidman stares a hole at him. Eddie tries to get Kidman's attention, but Kidman tells Eddie to step aside. Eddie and Rey leave for the apron...

Mattitude (Matt Hardy, Doug Basham, Shannon Moore, Evan Karagias) vs. Team Turmoil (Eddie Guerrero, Undertaker, Billy Kidman, Rey Misterio)

...and while Kidman stares at Taker, Evan cradles him with tights for the three!

OUT: Billy Kidman (0:14)

Kidman complains before being ejected. He takes Torrie with him, which causes Taker to follow and start attacking Kidman. The two fight to the back, while the referee gives a 10-count.

OUT: Undertaker (1:07)

During the count, Eddie took the WWE Title and nailed Evan with it. As the count ends, Eddie climbs up and Frog Splashes Evan. The three is academic.

OUT: Evan Karagias (1:40)

Doug quickly enters the ring, but runs into a vertical suplex from Eddie. Eddie rolls through and connects with a second vertical suplex. He rolls through again, and the third vertical suplex connects. Eddie tags Rey in, and Rey connects with a dropkick that puts Doug into the ropes. Rey bounces off the opposite ropes and hits Doug with the 6-1-9. As Doug staggers, the West Coast Hop connects. Rey cradles, and the referee makes it officially 2-on-2.

OUT: Doug Basham (3:35)

Rey ducks Shannon's charge and hits him with a rana, sending him into the ropes. Rey preps the 6-1-9, but Matt tags himself in and catches Rey with the Side Effect for two. Matt tries a gutwrench suplex, but Rey gets a headscissors out of it. Eddie tags in, and he goes straight to the top rope, looking for the frog splash. He dives, but Matt gets the knees up. Matt stands up and kicks Eddie in the gut, hollering and hitting the Twist of Fate. He covers for two. Matt picks Eddie up again and gets a second Twist of Fate, and this time, it's enough.

OUT: Eddie Guerrero (5:50)

Rey climbs in, but as he does, Matt clubs him in the back and gets a German suplex, bridging for two. Matt tosses Rey into the ropes and nails him with a koppo kick on the way out. He climbs to the second rope and hollers before dropping the leg on Rey. He covers again for two. Matt brings in Shannon, who climbs up to the top rope. Unfortunately, Rey gets up and shakes the ropes, causing Shannon to crotch himself. Rey leaps up and ranas Shannon off the top rope, hooking the legs and reducing it to a 1-on-1 match -- yes, already.

OUT: Shannon Moore (8:09)

Matt enters and tries to tackle Rey, but Rey leaps over him. Rey jumps onto Matt's shoulders and gets a Victory Roll for two. Rey bounces off the ropes and tries a headscissors, but Matt hangs on and turns the move into a Doctor Bomb. He holds the cover for two. Matt sends Rey into the ropes, but puts his head down. Rey handpsrings over Matt, bounces off the other side, and before Matt can turn around, Rey dropkicks him in the back and into the ropes. Rey bounces off the opposite ropes and goes for the 6-1-9, but Matt blocks and Rey tumbles to the outside.

Matt follows, picking Rey up and tossing him into the guardrail. He climbs onto the opposite rail, gets a running start, and dives at Rey, but Rey moves and Matt splats into the railing. Rey returns to the ring, waiting for Matt to get in position. He bounces off the opposite ropes and hits a somersault tope con hilo onto Matt, knocking both of them out. (We show a replay as the two men crawl back into the ring.)

Back in the ring, Rey leaps up and gets a Tornado DDT onto Matt. He heads to the apron and springboards into a legdrop on Matt. He covers for two. Rey picks Matt up and backs him into the corner, climbing on top and getting ten punches as the crowd counts along. However, after the 10th, Matt picks Rey up out of the corner and gets a spinebuster on him. He covers for two. Matt punches away at Rey, sending him into the turnbuckle. He charges in, but Rey catches him with his knees.

Rey then flips over Matt into a sunset flip, but Matt drops down for two. Rey completes it for two. Matt gets a jacknife bridge for two. Rey catches Matt in a backslide for two. Matt gets an Oklahoma roll on Rey for two. Rey small packages Matt for two, reversed by Matt for two. Rey gets a double-leg cradle on Matt for two, reversed by Matt for two, reversed again by Rey for two. Finally, Rey charges Matt and is caught in a Bossman slam for two. Matt slows things down by grabbing a camel clutch on Rey.

Rey inches his way closer to the ropes, but as he is almost there, Matt releases the hold and picks Rey up from behind. He hits a German suplex on Rey, holding the bridge for two. Matt gets up and tries for a leg lariat on Rey, but Rey ducks and comes back with a legsweep. Rey drops and grabs a headscissors on Matt. Matt gets to his feet, forcing Rey to do a headstand, but as he does, Rey swivels and sends Matt into the ropes again. Rey tries another 6-1-9, but this time, Matt rolls away and Rey simply lands on the apron.

Matt punches Rey in the gut and attempts to suplex him back in, but Rey slides down Matt's back and gets a rollup for two. Matt is up first, and he kicks Rey in the gut, hollers, and delivers the Twist of Fate. He covers, but Rey's foot is on the ropes at two. Matt grabs Rey and puts him in the center of the ring, slamming him to the canvas. He climbs the turnbuckle and leaps off, trying a swanton bomb on Rey. Rey, however, moves, and Matt crashes to the mat (he would have been short anyway).

Rey is up first, and he gets a headscissors armbar on Matt. Matt drops Rey in a Samoan Drop out of the move, but Rey reverses to a crucifix for two. Both men get up, and Matt tries to clothesline Rey, but Rey ducks and dropkicks Matt. Matt staggers, so Rey hits a flying forearm to send him into the ropes. Rey tries his luck again, and this time the 6-1-9 hits the mark. Rey goes for the West Coast Hop, but Matt catches him in midair. Rey begins punching Matt, then spins around on Matt's shoulders and executes a Victory Roll. That's enough to keep Matt's shoulders down for the final three.

SOLE SURVIVOR: Rey Misterio (22:31)

Cole: "What a finish! What a victory for Rey Misterio! After a long 1-on-1 battle, Rey Rey emerges victorious at the Survivor Series!"

Cornette: "What a great finish we had there, Michael Cole, and what a night for SmackDown!"

And now, World Wrestling Entertainment ON TOUR! Tomorrow night, we head to Indianapolis for a live RAW! Tuesday night, it's off to Dayton, OH for SmackDown! Come along next Monday to catch RAW in Buffalo! From there, next Tuesday we hit Rochester, NY for SmackDown! And don't forget that RAW presents Armageddon in four weeks' time from Atlanta, Georgia! World Wrestling Entertainment -- the #1 source of sports entertainment!

The elimination chamber lowers as JR and DDP talk about it.

JR: "This is a scary, scary structure here, Page. The brainchild of that demented Eric Bischoff. Sixteen feet high, thirty feet across, and ten tons of steel cage, chain, bulletproof glass -- just an awesome sight."

DDP: "Well, I can't imagine what it's gonna be like -- this is my first time seeing the Elimination Chamber as a match, and it seems like it's gonna be a wild affair."

JR: "The rules are simple. Two combatants will start. The other four will be placed in those chambers. Every five minutes, a chamber will open and a combatant will step out. The last person to be undefeated will win the World Heavyweight Title."

DDP: "You gotta think it's an advantage to be the last one to get released, but then again, maybe not. I'd think that 20 minutes spent inside one of those little things -- I mean, I'm a positive guy and it'd get to me after a while."

JR: "Well, that is an underrated aspect of this Elimination Chamber. As for experience -- you look back on this event. Chris Jericho was in the first incarnation of the Elimination Chamber, as was the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. In the second one, held at this event last year, you had Chris Benoit in it, and you also had Molly Holly, who back then was considered way over her head in this event as opposed to now. And as for Rhyno and Randy Orton, this is their first experience inside this steel structure."

DDP: "You think experience might mean something? In an event like this, it almost has to, right?"

JR: "Well, you'll find out with me. Here we go."

Lilian: "Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the third annual Elimination Chamber match for the World Heavyweight Championship!"

The timer appears on the TitanTron, counting from 9.99 to 0.00. As the countdown finishes, "Break the Walls Down" begins and Chris Jericho emerges from the back, hitting his poses.

Lilian: "Introducing first, the defending World Heavyweight Champion, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, weighing in at 237 pounds, Chris Jericho!"

Motorhead's "Evolution" plays as the next two combatants enter the chamber. Benoit stands in the ring with Jericho, while Orton heads to a pod.

Lilian: "And the challengers -- first, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing 231 pounds, Chris Benoit! From St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 245 pounds, Randy Orton!"

"Sexy Boy" plays as the Heartbreak Kid emerges from the back. T-shirt alert: "JN 1:1" ("In the Beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.") He dances in the ring before heading to a pod.

Lilian: "From San Antonio, Texas, weighing 235 pounds, the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!"

The metallic grunting begins the jungle rock anthem that is Rhyno's theme. He emerges from the back, nearly blowing smoke out his nostrils, and stares the remaining competitors down before heading to his pod.

Lilian: "From Detroit, Michigan, weighing 285 pounds, Rhyno!"

Limp Bizkit's remix of "She's a Lady" plays as Molly Holly emerges last, slowly heading to the ring. She goes to her pod and nervously steps inside as the door closes.

Lilian: "And from Mobile, Alabama, Molly Holly!"

Benoit and Jericho look around at the other four. The referee checks all the doors to make sure they can't be opened, then calls for the bell.

Elimination Chamber for the World Heavyweight title: Chris Jericho (champion) vs. Chris Benoit (challenger) vs. Randy Orton (challenger) vs. Shawn Michaels (challenger) vs. Rhyno (challenger) vs. Molly Holly (challenger)

Benoit and Jericho lock up, and Jericho puts on a headlock. Benoit tosses Jericho off the ropes, and the two criss-cross before Benoit drops down, then catches Jericho with a chop that floors him. Benoit drops to the mat and tries for an armbar, but Jericho blocks and the two tumble into the ropes. Both men get up and lock up again. Jericho backs Benoit into a corner, then fakes a clean break and unloads with a series of chops across Benoit's chest. Benoit reverses Jericho into the corner and chops away on his own. Benoit then sends Jericho to the opposite turnbuckle. Jericho staggers backwards into a waistlock, but gets a standing switch and hits a release German suplex on Benoit. Jericho stomps away on Benoit, then picks him up and hits a back suplex. He walks over and puts a foot on Benoit, but it gets one. Benoit grabs the foot and hits Jericho with a dragon screw before putting on the Sharpshooter. Jericho scrambles to the ropes. Benoit picks Jericho up from behind and clubs him in the back before grabbing an arm and delivering a hammerlock suplex. Benoit climbs to the top rope, but the diving headbutt misses. Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but that hits the knees as the lights flash and the pod opens for...

...Randy Orton! Orton enters the ring and pounds on Jericho's back as Benoit rolls to the side for a breather. Orton sends Jericho into the ropes and hits a dropkick on him. He picks Jericho up and connects with Play of the Day. Orton goes to the top rope and waits for Jericho to get, trying for a crossbody, but Jericho ducks and Orton lands on his face. Jericho pounds the back of Orton's head, then sends him into the ropes, hitting a clothesline on the way out. At this, Benoit returns and clotheslines Jericho. Benoit grabs a cross armlock on Jericho as Orton gets to his feet. He drops knees to Jericho's head, then bounces off the ropes and lands an elbowdrop. Benoit breaks the hold when it becomes clear Jericho won't tap out, and Orton immediately picks Jericho up for a suplex. Jericho blocks and tries his own. Orton blocks that, and Benoit rushes over to help Orton suplex Jericho. After the double suplex, both Benoit and Orton try for a cover. Each one begins shoving the other off of Jericho, which leads to the two of them standing and beginning an argument. Orton punches Benoit, so Benoit chops away at Orton as Jericho gets up and dives into both men. With all three men down, the lights flicker again and come to rest on the pod of...

...Shawn Michaels! Shawn steps into the ring and cues up the band, waiting for someone to take it. Orton is up first and gets flattened, but before Shawn can cover, Jericho gets up and grabs Shawn for a snap suplex. Jericho covers Shawn for two, then covers Orton for another two. Benoit is up and grabs Jericho from behind in a German suplex for two. Shawn and Orton fight out to the side platform, taking turns tossing each other into the cage, while Benoit rams Jericho into the turnbuckle. Orton uses the chain links and rubs them into Shawn's head, drawing blood. In the ring, Jericho floats over on a suplex attempt and gives Benoit the Breakdown. He covers, but Orton enters and saves at two. Orton picks Jericho up and gets a standing dropkick, causing Jericho to fall back into a Benoit cradle for two. Shawn re-emerges and hits Orton with a flying forearm, then catches Benoit with a snap suplex. He goes to the top rope and signals, but Jericho cuts him off before the flying elbow and superplexes him. Jericho lines the bodies up and tries the Lionsault, hitting all three. He covers Orton for two. He dives to Benoit, but Benoit punches him in midair. Benoit then mounts Jericho and punches away as the next pod opens to release...

...Rhyno! Rhyno slowly enters the ring as Shawn and Orton get to their feet. He tries to GORE both men, but they step aside and Rhyno slams on the brakes. Meanwhile, Benoit gets a Fujiwara armbar on Jericho. Orton grabs Jericho's other arm, but Shawn yanks Benoit off and Jericho is able escape from Orton's attempt. Shawn holds Benoit up, and Rhyno grabs Benoit in a spinebuster. He covers for two as Jericho gets a ten-punch countalong on Orton. Rhyno and Shawn punch away in the corner as Benoit grabs Jericho from behind in a German suplex. He rolls through and hits Jericho with a second German suplex. He rolls through again, and an Orton missile dropkick precedes the third German suplex. Benoit crawls on top of Jericho for two as Rhyno gets a press slam on Shawn. He sets up in the corner, waiting for Shawn to stand, but that opens the door for Benoit to run him over with a lariat. Orton tries a figure-four on Jericho, who cradles Orton for two. Benoit grabs Jericho in a suplex and tries to hit the Crossface, but Jericho blocks it. Meanwhile, Shawn and Rhyno charge each other and hit a double clothesline for the double KO. Orton sits back and rests, but he chooses the wrong corner because it's right next to...

...Molly Holly! Molly climbs the ropes and dives at Orton, hitting him in midair with his own RKO. She covers, and Orton's the first one gone.

OUT: Randy Orton (20:36)

Benoit releases Jericho and dives at Molly, backing her into the corner and chopping at her, doubling her in pain. Shawn heads over and cuts Benoit off, unloading lefts and rights on him. Shawn sends Benoit into the ropes and hits a reverse elbow on him. He starts to cue the band, focusing on Benoit, which means he never sees Rhyno come in and GORE him down. Rhyno covers, and we're down to four.

OUT: Shawn Michaels (22:15)

Jericho picks Rhyno up as he gets up and lands a powerbomb on him. He staggers out and covers him, but it's only two. Meanwhile, Benoit has just finished giving Molly the rolling Germans and is blowing his nose on her. He goes to the top of the chamber pod and dives, connecting with the headbutt. He covers her, and Molly is eliminated.

OUT: Molly Holly (23:39)

Jericho climbs to the top as Rhyno gets up, but Benoit catches Rhyno from behind in a release German suplex. Benoit turns around and takes a missile dropkick from Jericho. Jericho looks at both men and asks the fans who to attack. They demand Rhyno, so Jericho picks Rhyno's legs up and turns him over into the Walls of Jericho. Rhyno crawls his way to the ropes, but as he's inches away, Benoit dives in and applies the Crossface to Rhyno. Stuck in two submission holds, Rhyno quickly taps out.

OUT: Rhyno (25:44)

Benoit and Jericho stare each other down before getting into a chopping contest. Jericho seems to win it and goes to whip Benoit into the ropes, but Benoit hangs on and launches Jericho over the ropes into the chamber walls, drawing blood. Benoit follows to the outside, looking at an empty pod. He goes to throw Jericho into it, but Jericho bounces off without the structure breaking. Benoit picks Jericho up again and gives him a snap suplex on the platform. He picks Jericho up and goes to toss him into a second pod, but this time Jericho gets a monkey flip and sends Benoit into the pod, which shatters on impact. Jericho picks Benoit out of the wreckage and tosses him into the ring. Jericho runs the ropes and tries the Lionsault, but Benoit somehow gets his knees up. Benoit crawls over and begins pounding on Jericho's cut before putting him in the Crossface. Jericho struggles in the hold until he's able to back into the ropes and get his feet under them. Benoit releases the hold, then tries to send Jericho into the turnbuckle. Jericho reverses, but his charge results in Jericho being alley-ooped into a chamber pod, which shatters on impact. Jericho slumps back down, and Benoit covers him with his feet on the ropes for the final pin and the Elimination Chamber victory.

WINNER and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Chris Benoit (31:02)

JR: "NEW CHAMPION! BAH GAWD WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION! CHRIS BENOIT NEEDED HIS FEET ON THE ROPES! HE NEEDED TO SEND JERICHO INTO THE BULLETPROOF GLASS! BUT NOW HE IS THE NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! ON THIS NIGHT, CHRIS BENOIT IS THE ULTIMATE SURVIVOR! WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW ON RAW! GOOD NIGHT FROM CLEVELAND AND THE SURVIVOR SERIES!"

<<<FIN>>>

[tristy]

I think it's safe to say SmackDown! owned RAW.

I don't know if I like Benoit as the champion, actually. I was hoping the RAW booking team would pull a shocker and make Molly champion. Heh.

Did we book the SD! Tag Titles? I don't remember it. But anyways, good call on London finally getting some WWE gold. He deserves it. Boy has a future, bah gawd.

I'm split on the RAW Survivor tag with 3H, since he walked out and all. I think it kinda makes the Awesome & Co. look weak, since they won due to a technicality. Awesome should have dominated, and then be one on one with 3H, but that's me. Still, Awesome won and I'm happy.

I think Hall should have lasted longer, but probably wouldn't in reality since he'd probably run out of gas quickly nowadays. Good call by the RAW teamon Storm being the soul survivor. (Y)

Good show, my man. I'm looking forward to the Royal Rumble, even though it's 2 months away. I just want your diary to get to 2005 already. New years always brings about suprises.

[DonaldMick]

I don't know if I like Benoit as the champion, actually. I was hoping the RAW booking team would pull a shocker and make Molly champion. Heh.

[Kane's Mullet Slacker]

I don't know the PPV was kinda meh, the matches weren't that great, I mean London and Nova was great but the rest of the matches just seemed rushed, although the exchange with Hardy and Mysterio was good.

I knew Team Angle would win I was kinda hoping Colt would win but I have no quams with Benjamin getting the win.

The Christian-Kane match was filler really and pretty much just a squash by Kane.

The Elimination Chamber match had it's high spots for instance Benoit's Swandive Headbutt off the top of the Chamber, and Molly hitting the RKO on Orton and eliminating him, I was laughing my ass off when I read that.

Overall, I'd say thumbs in the middle leaning upwards.

[grind your soul]

Usually I like Survivor Series', but this one sort of had me questioning that.

The matches were alright, but the rapid-fire eliminations in them were just (N). I understand why it happened, what with there being so many matches, but it seemed as though none of them really had time to develop, and it took away from the over-all show.

The Chamber sounded decent, as did the final SD match [although I question the sanity of Edge, Lesnar + Angle being eliminated so quickly.. same with 'Taker in his match].

Thumbs in the middle.

[Blehschmidt]

Another enjoyable show Dukes, although I also have to wonder about the rapid fire eliminations.

Glad too see the belt didn't go on Molly, and with Benoit winning the belt...I figure either he or Orton will be out of Evolution soon.

Just out of curiosity...when does Hunter's contract run out?? I can't see him staying!!!

[The Third Dukes]

For the record, you didn't book the title matches. I book the title matches, because, you know, they involve titles. And stuff. This would have been the case no matter what.

I will say, though, it was fun working with a booking committee. Not something I'd do every day, mind you, because I think there wouldn't be a direction to the thing, but this was a challenge I enjoyed taking up. It's really not easy to take other people's ideas and make them come to life, and I've tried it twice so I kinda know. But in all seriousness... I have no point other than to say thank you.

And now, I need to stop ranting and... um... rant.

*****

- The SmarK Rant for Survivor Series 2004.

- Live from Cleveland, OH.

- Your hosts are JR, DDP, MC, JEC, etc.

- Opening match: Chris Nowinski, Rodney Mack, Batista, Michael Shane, and David Flair v. Scott Hall, Booker T, Sting, Chris Harris, and Lance Storm. You know, with so many matches to get through I sense things will be a little fast, but even so, it's disappointing when good matches don't get time. We open with a huge donnybrook, and the faces get ten punch countalongs on all the heels. The champs send Shane and Flair together, and Booker knocks them over. Blackout try by Mack, but Hall grabs a fallaway slam. Kneedrop, Spinaroonie, and Scissors Kick mean good-night Rodney at 3:26. Flair enters but eats a powerslam. Hall runs Flair from pillar to post, but Batista tags himself in and absolutely discombobulates Hall with a lariat. Yeeouch. Demon Bomb sends Razor to the back at 5:31. Back to BONZO GONZO now as everyone races in. Booker dominates Shane, but Nowinski uses the CANE OF DOOM on Booker, and the Picture Perfect Elbow eliminates Booker at 7:45. Harris enters and pounds away on Shane, then catches him in the Catatonic for another finish at 8:47. No-nonsense match, eh? Flair takes over with CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN', TONY, and a DDT for two. Harris with a spear for two. Sting enters and gets an inverted atomic drop on Flair, then the champs hit AMW's old Death Sentence to get Harris the pin at 10:40. Batista enters, but Harris remains on fire, slapping on the Sharpshooter. He keeps working the leg, but one dropkick try too many leads to the MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER and Harris is gone at 12:25. But Sting's already on the top rope and dives with a clothesline to Batista. Scorpion leads to the tapout at 13:12. The FACEMASK OF DEATH gets used, and Sting's gone at 14:10. I never thought a 20-minute match would seem rushed, but here ya go. Storm tries to slow it down, sidestepping a Nowinski charge and going on offense. Spinkick leads to the Maple Leaf, but Nowinski tries the Enzuigiri from Halloween Havoc, only to have Storm duck it. Nowinski rolls outside and threatens to take a walk, but Long talks him out of it, then distracts the ref. Beltshot misses, and Storm superkicks the belt into Nowinski's face, likely requiring more facial appliances in the future, and the Maple Leaf gets the KO at 18:32. All the fast eliminations took away from the believability, but you can't fault the choice for openers, and the crowd was into it. *3/4

- Backstage, Trish and Tracy aren't getting along, and Hunter's just about had it. Maven tries to cheer Tracy up, which doesn't seem to go anywhere.

- Sylvain Grenier, Lucille LaChienne, Valerie, and Mike Awesome v. Maven, Tracy, Trish Stratus and Triple H. Maven starts the match (after a hissy fit with the girls) by rolling Lucille up for two. Grenier objects and slams Maven for two before we HIT THE CHINLOCK. Maven powers out, and HHH enters. A dropkick into USE OF THE KNEE~! leads to an elbowdrop for the pin at 2:17. That's right, an ELBOWDROP. And here I thought it would be a clothesline. I mean, doesn't that just define the bottom of the jobber barrel right there, win a simple transition move like an elbowdrop pins you? I mean, yeah, it's Survivor Series tradition for somebody to lose to a transition move, but usually it's something with a tad more bite than THAT. Awesome enters, and a the two start firing off haymakers like Ali and Frazier. But without the scientific skill. Or contact. But that's an industry secret. Anyway, Awesome gets the knockdown, so Maven tags in and fires away. Awesome runs Maven over with a clothesline, but doesn't cover. Dude, it's SURVIVOR SERIES. Anyway, powerbomb gets two as Awesome picks him up and delivers the Classic Awesome Bomb for three at 5:11. Everyone runs in again (except Valerie) and the men tumble to the outside. Miscommunication causes another argument, and this time HHH breaks it up, only to Pedigree Tracy and slam down Trish before walking away (lest he job to Mike Awesome, you see). Valerie covers Tracy at 8:52, Lucille pins Trish at 9:19, and HHH is counted out at 9:56. HHH then tells both women off in a post-match interview, officially making himself the story of the match at the expense of the monster push for Awesome. That divorce can't be finalized fast enough. 1/2*

- Another "Tell Me I'm Fake" ad, this with Matt Hardy.

- Tazz, Joey Numbahs, Bull Buchanan and Nathan Jones v. Ultimo Dragon, Jamie Noble, Ron Killings, and Sonjay Dutt. Let the pinballing begin! You think Tazz is getting flashbacks to ECW, being considered a monster in this match and all? Anyway, the faces clear the ring, then hit DOLBY DIGITAL 4.0 STEREO PLANCHAS OF DOOM on the heels. Back in, Tazz and Noble go at it, with Tazz getting a T-Bone. Overhead suplex leads to the Tazzmission at 2:36. Well, hell, what was the point of turning him? Dutt knocks Tazz to the outside, but Jones nails the KICK OF FEAR to send him to the showers at 3:25. Still a jobber. Ultimo superkicks Jones into a Killings necksnap, which sends Jones into an Ultimo tornado DDT. Sweet. It gets two. Now Killings and Bull enter as Ultimo and Jones exit, and Bull gets a rebound lariat for two. Killings backdrops out of a powerbomb attempt and gets a swinging neckbreaker. Numbahs shoves Killings off the top Bull misses a scissors kick and Killings hooks a sleeper. Bull tries to squash him in the corner, but Killings jumps on the top rope and sunset flips off to pin Bull at 7:46. That was actually a neat mini-match there. Numbahs runs in and gets a big boot, then in a horrific bump, he javelins Killings from the ring to the STEEL railing. Yeeouch. Back in, and it gets 2 with a pickup. Another boot and Tazz enters, looking for Tazzmission, but Killings rolls away. Jones tosses him in, and Tazz gets a release German suplex for two. Tazz and Numbahs look for a spike piledriver, which could legit kill Killings given that Matt frickin' Morgan is trying it, but 3 Live Kru run in for the save at 11:26, getting Killings DQ'd but keeping him alive. Ultimo keeps dodging Jones, so Tazz comes in and runs him over. Numbahs with a press slam and legdrop for two. Inside-out clothesline gets two. Jones tries the K-1 KO, but Ultimo isn't KO'd. Jones celebrates because he's an idiot, so Ultimo hits the Asai DDT to pin him at 14:56. But Numbahs hits the helicopter bomb to finish at 15:30 anyway. Oops. The face side bumped well to keep it decent. **

- WWE Tag Team Titles, tournament final: Rob Van Dam and Hurricane v. Pure Energy. AWESOME pre-match package shows just how much each team went through to get here. Hurricane and London start, and Hurricane gets some armdrags off of that. RVD with a spinkick for two. Another try is ducked, and the Dropsault leads to Poetry in Motion from Pure Energy. Hurricane lariats Nova, so London suplexes Hurricane. RVD chases London up top, and everyone lands on Hurricane. RVD up first, and Rolling Thunder on London gets two. Brilliantly choreographed spot next as London gets hit with the shoulder thrust, but has the wherewithal to charge out and meet RVD's handspring to roll him up for two. Suplex and enter Nova, who gets a roundhouse kick off the top for two. RVD kicks right back, and Hurricane enters for a double Hotshot into a rollup for two. Flying jalapeno and German suplex get two for Hurricane. Nova slips out of a suplex and rolls Hurricane up for two. Shining Wizard on Nova gets two. Overcast misses, and London enters with the London Bridge for two. London tries a monkey flip, but Hurricane holds on for two. Back body drop, and RVD enters with the kick sequence. Moonsault gets two. RVD tries the splits on a criss-cross, so London kicks him in the mush. Double dropkick, but the Photon blast is cut off when London hits the knees and Hurricane gives Nova a rana. Nice. RVD covers Nova for two. Throat thrust and split-legged moonsault get two. Nova counters a clothesline into a full-nelson Russian legsweep, and I think it's fair to say he DID invent that. Suplex into a London springboard senton gets two. Superkick misses, wheel kick is ducked, and London with a release German suplex on RVD for two. Contra Code is countered when RVD sends London to the outside, and Hurricane dives onto both foes, followed by RVD with a somersault dive as the crowd is going nuts. RVD gets an inverted atomic drop and leg lariat, but the Five Star misses and London tags in Nova. Spin Doctor gets two, and it's BONZO GONZO. Pop-Up rana by London, and Nova hits a straightjacket suplex on Hurricane for two. Kryptonite Krunch misses, and Hurricane tries the Vertebreaker, but London tips Hurricane over into a Victory Roll forcing the save. Crowd honestly thought that was the finish. London to the top, spinkicking RVD to the outside. Contra Code and Photon Blast get the titles to Pure Energy at 19:57, as they hold off another heavy favorite to get the title. Outstanding match, totally non-formula and with complete give and take. I had to think long and hard about the rating here, because really, there's no match to compare it to -- so many matches go by the formula I have almost no reference point. The nearest comparison I can make is Sting/Luger v. Steiners, and it's not as good as that (then again, not much is). Oh well -- this was definitely a gutsy move by the WWE putting two face teams in there and having them go for 20 minutes of give-and-take. And they delivered. ****

- Team Angle v. Team Angle. Kurt and Tajiri start, and Tajiri's handspring is caught in a the rolling Germans. Tajiri fights out of a suplex and tries a roundhouse, but Kurt catches it and Ankle Locks him for the tap at 2:28. Colt and Haas enter now, and Haas tosses Colt quickly. Heyman gives advice (with Cornette doing a hilarious speculation as to what it might be), and back in the ring, the two go OLD-SCHOOL, trading two counts. Edge tags in behind Haas's back, and he gets a lariat and Edgecution for two. Brock saves, but it's moot because Edge spears Haas for the pin at 5:40 anyway. Bizarre booking there. Brock returns and pounds Edge, following up with an overhead suplex for two. Another overhead try is reversed by Edge to a neckbreaker. Edgecution is reversed to a Northern Lights suplex by Brock, and the F-5 ends Edge's night at 7:44. Rather brisk pace here. Eric and Colt both enter at once and hit a double dropkick and sandwich clothesline. Colt is sent out, so Kurt tries a medal punch, but it backfires. Eric catches an escaping Kurt in the Ankle Lock, and after a long struggle, Kurt taps out at 10:48. Brock returns and gets a pair of F-5s on Eric for the pin at 11:20. He tries the same to Colt, but falls victim to the deadly sunset flip at 12:03, cutting us rapidly to Colt v. Shelton. Cole is right on the ball by bringing up Great American Bash as a backstory, noting that Shelton took a dive that screwed Colt over. Feeling-out process is won by Shelton, who gets a suplex for two. Blind charge misses, and Colt gets a German suplex for two. Dropkick sends Shelton to the outside, where Barton helps him up. Shelton returns with a DDT out of the lockup for two. Bizarre headlock-type thing by Shelton, but Colt elbows out before walking into a T-Bone for two. Superplex try is headbutted out of, and Colt gets a flying shoulderblock for two. Colt slugs away, but Shelton goes low and grabs his own German for two. He tries again, but Colt switches off and rolls him up for two. Spinkick and springboard legdrop get two. Colt 45 is reversed to a pinning predicament (with cheating) for two. Flapjack and 450 finish it for Shelton at 19:08. I soooo want to see Colt/Shelton in a full match now after that. This was okay, getting better at the end. **1/2

- Christian v. Kane. Christian jumps the gun with some turnbuckle slamming and a dropkick. Basement dropkick, DDT, and kneedrop as Christian pounds away. Ref pulls him off in time for Kane to sit up. Christian remains on the offensive, but a charge is caught in the goozle. Christian goes low, then gets a sleeper. Kane squashes Christian, following up with a big boot and flying clothesline. HUGE chokeslam, but Kane picks him up at two. He tries one from the top, but Christian kicks Kane away and dives... straight into a Burning Hammer for the pin at 6:11. Just a RAW match. * Kane continues the punishment until Molly Holly and Lance Storm (of all people) run in to fend him off.

- Team Mattitude v. Team Turmoil. Kidman argues with Taker, only to get rolled up and pinned at 0:14. He gets ticked off and walks off with Torrie, so Taker follows and attacks, getting counted out at 1:07. During the countout, Eddie slams the belt into Evan's head and gets the Frog Splash for the pin at 1:40. This is abrupt even by tonight's standards. Eddie gets the rolling verticals on a charging Doug, and Rey comes in with a dropkick, 6-1-9, and West Coast Hop for the pin at 3:35. Is this going anywhere? Shannon assumes the position, but Matt catches Rey with the Side Effect for two. Gutwrench is reversed to a headscissors, and Eddie comes in. Frog Splash hits the knees, and two Twists of Fate end Eddie's night at 5:50. Rey enters but gets suplexed for two. Rolling kick and Ctrl/Alt/Delete gets two. Shannon in, but Rey crotches him and gets a Frankensteiner for the pin at 8:09. Okay, seriously, what the hell's going on around here? Rey vaults Matt's tackle and gets a Victory Roll for two. Headscissors is turned into a powerbomb for two. Rey handsprings a backdrop try and sends Matt into the ropes, but the 6-1-9 is blocked. Whew, I thought that would be it. Matt tosses Rey into the guardrail on the outside, but the railrunner misses. Rey returns and nails a tope con hilo on Matt, waking the crowd up. Back in, tornado DDT and Drop of the Dime get two. Ten punches, but Matt gets a spinebuster for two. Blind charge misses, and Rey tries a sunset flip. This sets off a long pinfall reversal sequence, ending with a Bossman Slam by Matt for two. Camel clutch as everyone catches their breath, and a German suplex gets two. Leg lariat is ducked, and Rey SWEEPS THE LEG~! and does a neck-scissors. Matt forces Rey to balance on his head, but Rey leverages Matt into the 6-1-9 position. This time, Matt avoids it and Rey stops on the apron. Rey rolls Matt up on the way back in for two. Twist of Fate, but Rey's in the ropes. Swanton try is pitifully short, and Rey tries his headscissors armbar on Matt, turning it into a crucifix for two. Dropkick and flying jalapeño set up the 6-1-9, which FINALLY connects. West Coast Hop is caught, but Rey wins the battle of wills with a spin into a Victory Roll for three at 22:31. Ahhhhhh. So the idea was to get Kidman/Taker out of the way and build Rey into a main eventer. I doubt he's credible as a World champion in the US, but he'll have some good matches with Matt. This, however, was too fast in the beginning to rise above good. **1/4

- Elimination Chamber III for the World title: Chris Jericho v. Chris Benoit v. Randy Orton v. Shawn Michaels v. Rhyno v. Molly Holly. As is tradition, the opponents enter in order of appearance. So Benoit and Jericho start. Molly seems a little claustrophobic in her pod. Benoit FLOORS Jericho with a chop and grabs an armbar, but both men tumble to the ropes. CANADIAN VIOLENCE breaks out, and Jericho loses but reverses a German to one of his own. Back suplex and ARROGANT COVER~! gets one, and Benoit gets pissed and hits a dragon screw and Sharpshooter. Jericho makes the ropes, but gets clubbed intoa hammerlock suplex. Diving headbutt misses, Lionsault misses, and Randy Orton is in. Orton gets a dropkick and Play of the Day, but misses a crossbody. Jericho pounds on Orton, but that draws Benoit in to flatten Jericho. Armlock by Benoit, with Orton adding some shots of his own, but Jericho won't tap. Orton tries a suplex, but Jericho blocks, but Orton blocks and Benoit aids him in suplexing Jericho. Both men go for the cover, and the alliance breaks down, allowing Jericho a dive for a triple KO as Shawn enters. Superkick for Orton, but Jericho suplexes Shawn for two, then covers Orton for two. Benoit gets a German for two. Orton draws blood on Shawn while Benoit beats Jericho up. Jericho flips out of a suplex and hits the Breakdown for two before Orton saves. Orton dropkicks Jericho into a Benoit cradle for two. Shawn returns with a five-arm to Orton and suplex to Benoit. Jericho cuts off the big elbow with a superplex, then Lionsaults everybody, covering Orton for two. Benoit punches away on Jericho as Rhyno joins us. Rhyno tries a double GOAR GOAR GOAR on Shawn and Orton, but misses both. Evolution gets a double armbar on Jericho, but Shawn breaks. Rhyno hits a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER on Benoit for two. Jericho punches Orton down, while Benoit gets Jericho in the rolling Germans for two. Rhyno with a press slam on Shawn and he stalks him, but Benoit clothesline a surprised Rhyno. Orton tries a figure-four, but Jericho cradles for two. Benoit and Jericho fight over submission holds while Shawn and Rhyno get a double KO. Orton licks his lips and moves in for the kill, but Molly is released and flies in like a bat out of Hell, RKOing Orton off the top for the pin at 20:36. Mwahahahahahahahaha. Benoit sees this and brutalizes Molly, so Shawn beats up Benoit and cues the band. Rhyno, however, steals a page from Benoit's book and hits the GOAR GOAR GOAR on an unsuspecting Shawn, getting the pin at 22:15. Learn from the best, I say. Jericho powerbombs Rhyno for two as Benoit completes the slaughter on Molly, hitting the SNOT ROCKET OF DEATH and a diving headbutt from atop the pod for the pin at 23:39. Wow, who'd Molly piss off? Rhyno takes a release German suplex from Benoit, who turns around and eats a missile dropkick from Jericho. Jericho takes a fan poll, and Rhyno wins a trip into the Walls. Benoit adds the Crossface as I get flashbacks to the glory days of May 2001, and Rhyno's tapping at 25:44, leaving us with Benoit and Jericho -- right back where we started. More CANADIAN VIOLENCE follows, and the two men go flying into the walls as Jericho blades. Benoit sends Jericho into a pod, but it doesn't break. He settles for a snap suplex before trying a different pod, but Jericho reverses it and Benoit crashes (and yes, this one DOES break). Back in the ring, Lionsault hits the knees, and the Crossface is on. Jericho's too close to the ropes, though, so Benoit tries to send Jericho into the corner. Jericho reverses, but his Stinger Splash is alley-ooped into the pod behind Benoit (breaking THAT as well) and Benoit gets the Flair Pin for the title at 31:02. Unnecessarily cheap finish that will probably set up a rematch like last year. This match had a bit of an identity crisis, but the first 15 minutes were unbelievably solid. ***

The Bottom Line:

Really a little too fast-paced, as the WWE would be well-advised to cut back on the number of Elimination matches. If you're going all out like they did last year, the 5 elimination matches could have filled the card -- but that was impossible due to the title scene. Either way, one per brand should have been enough. As it is, an outstanding tag title match gets lost in the shuffle, and nothing really stands out.

Thumbs in the middle.

[K.O.T.W]

Thumbs in the Middle Show here. Raw's booking owned SD's booking of course, but BENOIT DEFEATING JERICHO!! Grr.

[The Third Dukes]

- Well, I'm on vacation with the family in Scotland, as I get to see the nation Scotsman is proud to trace his roots from. It sucks. But what would you expect?

- The SmarK RAW Rant for Nov. 19 / 04, previously aired live Nov. 15.

- Live from Indianapolis, IN. Motto: "Watch for flying basketball players."

- Your hosts are Jim Ross and Dallas Page.

- RNN is here to liven up your humdrum lives as usual. The "OrTron 8000" shows us some highlights of HHH walking out on his women, and that segues into Trish being our guest. Trish looks like she needs a shoulder to cry on. And here I had to be in Scotland. Orton berates Trish over losing her boyfriend and asks why she put him through hell. Trish cries out an answer of not understanding, and she's sorry about Tracy and wants to forgive her, but Orton just lays on the lack of sympathy THICK as the crowd starts a "STFU" chant at Orton. Nice to see XPW still has influence out there. Ugh. Anyway, Tracy makes an appearance and stands between the two, comforting Trish and telling her all is forgiven. Yeah, right. $10 says one of these two joins HHH in heeldom tonight. Bizarre segment, almost uncomfortable.

- Opening match: Lance Storm and Molly Holly v. Christopher Nowinski and Rodney Mack. I guess Test and Stacy have the night off again. I hate when that happens. It's all in to start as the faces wipe the mat with Mack and give Nowinski a double hiptoss. Storm with a dragon screw to Nowinski, but Mack clubs him down. Nowinski with a Double Arm DDT for two as Storm is YOUR whitey-in-peril. Mack gets a powerslam for two. Heels collide, hot tag Molly. Crossbody on both people, but Nowinski catches another try in the running powerslam for two. Storm saves and it's BONZO GONZO. Nowinski pulls off his mask, but Storm ducks and Mack gets it. Molly-Go-Round gets the pin at 5:01. Eh. *1/2 Kane appears and makes vague threats to Molly as this story looks like it might never end.

- Trish Stratus and Tracy v. Jazz and Gail Kim. Okay, who turns first? Actually, neither, because this match gets killed off when HHH storms the ring and Pedigrees all four women. Uh huh. He then goes off on a delusional rant about how he's not someone's poodle, and how he did what every man in the back wanted to do to those sluts. Wow, the UK's got some lenient rules on language. Oh, and both of them can die and go to hell, thank you very much. Typical HHH promo.

- World title: Chris Benoit v. Chris Harris. Lockup, and Benoit backs Harris in and unloads CANADIAN VIOLENCE. Harris gets whipped pillar to post, so Benoit follows with a spear and punches away. Snap suplex gets two. Harris tries a lariat, but Benoit calmly armbars him. He stomps on the arm, so Harris goes to the outside. Benoit follows with a tope suicida, but Harris ducks and Benoit SPLATS into the railing as we take a break. Back with Harris pounding on Benoit and getting a suplex for two. Harris tries the Sharpshooter, but you just don't DO that to someone from the Dungeon, and Benoit reverses. Harris crawls to the ropes. Benoit continues the chopfest, but gets arrogant on a whip and Harris spears him down for two. Lariat gets two. To the top, but Benoit catches whatever and slams him down for two. Back to the armwork, but Harris flips Benoit to the outside and baseball slides him. He slingshots Benoit back in, but his arm gives out on the Catatonic and Benoit slaps on the Crossface for the tap at 9:24. Beautiful ten-minute match. ***1/4

- Let's take a gander at La Résistance's Lucille, as apparently they're doing another calendar. Works for me.

- Shawn Michaels v. Batista. Batista pounds away, but Shawn flies after him and kips up as Randy Orton dissects every move on commentary. Shawn goes up top, but Batista throws him down and pounds away. MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER gets two. Batista lands a lariat, then a powerslam for two. Shawn bails, so Batista follows and tosses him into the STEEL steps. Orton is just in his glory proclaiming Shawn as a washed-up nothing who's about to get beat by a tag-team wrestler. Batista goes to the bearhug back in as JR defends Shawn as a legend and Orton mentions what he calls the "Montreal Conspiracy". DDP hasn't said a thing since Orton arrived. Meanwhile, Shawn breaks out of the bearhug and tries a dropkick, but Batista swats him away. Shawn with a Greco-Roman shot to the throat cues the comeback as Orton just lays on what a pathetic athlete Shawn is. Orton then leaves and heads to ringside, claiming he's made his point, which is conveniently timed with Shawn flying around for Batista and kipping up, but grabbing his back. Clothesline, big elbow, but Orton cuts off the superkick and starts the beatdown at 7:00 or so. Commentary saved the match. *1/2 JR finally asks DDP why he didn't say anything about Shawn to Orton, and DDP gets off the Line of the Night: "I was just waiting for the right time to remind him a woman pinned him last night." Too bad he never got that chance -- it could've been a Rock-level blow-up by Orton.

- So Storm confronts Nowinski in the back and lets him know that the challenge is hanging over his head. And he picks the time and place, which, to no one's surprise, is Armageddon. Nowinski juts smirks and walks off. I wonder if this is THE last shot for Storm, or if we're all just going to be led to believe it is.

- Sting v. Sylvain Grenier. Yes, folks, this is the final match of the night. Sting dominates Grenier, sending him all around the ring and flattening him with an elbow and pounding. Atomic drop, both ways, leads to a clothesline for two. Grenier bails to talk strategy with Lucille, so Sting follows them out and tosses Grenier in. A German suplex gets two. Stinger splash gets two. Lucille pulls the ref in the way of a second Stinger splash, and shenanigans with the flagpole give Grenier the upset win at 4:04. Sting looks confused. He must be having WCW flashbacks or something. 3/4*

- Main event interview: Chris Jericho...

Jericho: "WELCOME TO RAW - IS - JERICHO! Right now all of you Jerichoholics are wondering the same thing I am -- how can Bland Master Flash live with himself after getting pinned by Molly? He lost to a GIRL! A GIRL! What a loser! Hey, Randy, I know you said you were championship material, but I thought you meant a MEN'S championship!

But enough harassing poor Blandy. Your hero and savior has bigger fish to fry -- like the new World Champion, Chris Benoit. You see, even though the man is the World Heavyweight Champion, he has no honor. He and I went for thirty minutes at Survivor Series, and he ended it not when he won, but when I lost. If I hadn't been such a reckless individual, I'd still be here as YOUR World Heavyweight Champion.

That must really hurt, doesn't it, Chris? To know that your victory is hollow. A man like you -- you pride yourself on your ability to destroy other people, and here you needed to capitalize on a mistake. I had you beat, Chris. If that match is in a normal ring, and it's you and me, one on one, I'd have you beat. And I want my chance to prove it. So Chris Ben-o-it, come out here and say the words that matter the most -- that you'll give me my contractually mandated rematch!"

The crowd roars its approval, but no one enters from the back. Jericho paces back and forth, waiting, getting antsy.

Jericho: "Hm. What's the matter, Chris? Go home early? Too scared to face my challenge? Well, that's a darn shame. You see, I was kinda hoping I'd have some competition here. I was hoping someone would come and talk to me. I mean, it's really lonely here with only a few thousand of my closest friends. I need to feel the love, Benoit. So... c'mon... give your old friend a hug!"

Still nothing.

DDP: "I don't think Benoit wants to give anyone a hug, Jim."

JR: "Most likely not."

Jericho: "Ah well. I shoulda known you'd be one to turn me aside. After all, like Nick said, I'm only... what, the 30th person you've given the cold shoulder to? It is how you got to the top. You had the Blandster do all your work in the Elimination Chamber. You picked and chose your spots. And when Orton got blindsided and beaten, you stood by and let it happen, then picked up the pieces. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if you were gonna make sure that belt was permanently welded around your waist -- wouldn't be the first time someone on RAW did that!"

DDP: "What does he mean by that?"

Jericho: "So Chris, if you're out there -- and don't hide, because I KNOW you're out there -- I expect to see you march to this ring and at the very least give me one good reason why this match should not take place. Or did you stop taking orders? Nah -- that couldn't be. You're sided with Bischoff. You take his orders. Or does he take your orders? I don't know any more. What I do know is, as the former World Heavyweight Champion, I expect a rematch, and I expect it to be confirmed NOW!

So Benoit, Bischoff -- whoever's in charge -- hell it can be some Woman in your life for all I care, Chris! I want to see that person now, and I want that person to--"

Ah, there's Benoit's music, and there's Benoit. He walks back to the ring, World Title around his waist, staring a hole in Jericho the entire time.

JR: "There's a tension in the air, Page. These two young soldiers... they don't like each other much."

Benoit: "Well, look who's here. A little whiny bitch of a man who can't accept his own defeat. Sure, Jericho, I know what you'd like to think. You want to think that somehow you weren't responsible for your loss. You'd like to think that it's not your fault. After all, would anything satisfy you more than being able to say you never really lost your title? You know, maybe Shawn Michaels was right about you. Maybe you have become obsessed. Or maybe you're just a sore loser, like you were back in the day, complaining about conspiracies. But in the end, you're still the same man you've always been. All bark. No Bite."

Jericho: "Really, now? All bark, eh? Toothless... kinda like someone else I know, I guess. Yeah... I've had a bad past. I've whined. I've groaned. I've made enough noise to drown out a hundred Eric Bischoffs -- which is a pleasing thought. But in the end, I've grown. I've become a better man -- a smarter man -- MY OWN MAN. What have you done? Shouldn't you thank ol' Randy Orton for doin' the hard work for you? Or maybe Molly for pinning your friend so that you didn't have to stab him in the back?

Y'know what? I don't know you, Chris. You're not the person I fought with in 2000. You're not the person I stood side by side with as we beat Stone Cold and Triple H. You're not even the guy who called me at home and said, Congratulations on becoming the first ever Undisputed Champion. No... you're the guy who kept jumping back and forth like some demented jumping bean, selling your services to the higher bidder. You're the guy who took a title that meant something and made it mean nothing. You're the guy who tossed a man off the top of that screen up there and didn't even flinch. You're not a man anymore, Chris. You're just a guy."

Benoit: "I'm the champion. And that makes me more important than you'll ever be."

Jericho: "Oh. The champ. Right. I almost forgot. You see, champs... they get rematches, Chris. And that's what I want out of you. A rematch. A last chance to be the star. I've fought through too much to have my title lost in a match like that. Or are you going to be proud about how you won? A man knocking himself out and you pick up the pieces... and I haven't even gotten to the point about your feet on the ropes!"

JR: "That they were, Page."

DDP: "Not sure it woulda mattered."

Benoit: "Your whining amuses me. Your complaining makes me laugh. But, since you're such a good sport about pain and suffering, I guess there's only one thing I can do. And that's..."

Jericho: "Yes?"

Benoit: "No. Chris, you deserve time off. I don't have to give you a rematch. It's not happening."

Benoit turns to leave when Eric Bischoff's face appears on the Tron. A very familiar item is behind him.

Bischoff: "Benoit! I... I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but WWE bylaws do state the winner gets a rematch. But don't worry, because I've concocted a scheme that I'm sure you'll be happy with."

JR: "What could that mean?"

Bischoff: "Now, there's not enough time on this show for me to go into it, but let's just say it involves this behind me. A little something I brought in a year ago, and something you're very familiar with, Chris. That's right... at Armageddon, it'll be Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho meeting in a match assigned by the Wheel of Death!"

The crowd pops big-time, with random chants of "Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal" being heard.

Jericho: "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's see what the match will be!"

Bischoff: "Oh, I can't do that. You see, we're supposed to wait. I mean, Chris, if you're so desperate, this wheel is in my office. Any time we're on the air, you can spin it. You just have to find me."

Jericho exits the ring, brushes Benoit aside, and storms off to the back. Benoit gets into the ring and watches as the camera follows Jericho through a maze of tunnels.

Jericho (on-screen): "The guy wants to have it decided... wants me not to know my fate... well, I say the hell with that! I'm gonna learn it right now, one way or the other! This is MY rematch, and I am OWED the privilege of knowing what I'm getting into. BENOIT! I HOPE YOU'RE WATCHING, DAMMIT!"

Now Jericho has arrived at Bischoff's door. He pounds on it. Bischoff answers, smiling.

Bischoff: "I knew you'd be here. But it's too late."

Jericho: "The hell it is! We're still running, and I'm gonna find out!"

He shoves Bischoff away, goes to the wheel, and gives it a huge spin. We cut back to the ring as Benoit watches. We hear the wheel slow down, sputter, and stop. Benoit smiles as the crowd cheers, but the credits come up and we're fading to black.

JR: "Benoit! Jericho! Armageddon! What's it gonna be?"

<<<FIN>>>

The Bottom Line:

I don't like the cliffhanger, and since most of the Internet reports already indicated what the answer was, it seems rather unnecessary. Still, it's times like these I gotta remember that not all of us are smarks, I guess. Just the lucky ones. Then again, after this show, I don't know how many people will be fans -- this had all the feeling of spinning the tires, from HHH as Woman-Hater to SYLVAIN F*CKING GRENIER in the main event. Then again, every show's allowed an off-night; let's just hope it's not an aberration.

In the meantime, SOMEONE GET ME THE HELL OUT OF SCOTLAND!

[Silent C]

I haven't been replying much, but I'm still as much of a fan as I was when the original BVS started. Speaking of BVS Classic, the hinting to it in recent booking (mostly Raw's) is too obvious for me not to mischeiviously grin :thumbsup:

[K.O.T.W]

SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL!

That rocks, Dukes. Good Show.

[Kane's Mullet Slacker]

Coal Miner's Glove Match! Coal Miner's Glove Match!

Seriously though, you can't go wrong with Jericho-Benoit. Other than the announcement of the title match, the rest of RAW was mediocre at best. I guess that divorce is getting finalized eh?