The Survivor Thread

[GoGo Yubari]

Actually, screw it. Behind the spoiler cut, all the things I love from the first Heroes vs. Villains episode.

1. Sugar was voted out.

2. "I'm a gangster in an Oprah suit. But not like a mean gangster, I'm a nice gangster, with a smile!" ~ Cirie Fields, officially my favorite Survivor ever.

3. The villains' entrance, again. Jerri striding out with her hair blowing all over the place, Coach in total zen mode, Randy glaring at this brand new place and all these new people to detest, Courtney skipping out as if this is her first day at school and she is so excited to meet all these tremendous people, and then poking Parvati on the nose because they are going to be bestest friends. It's awesome. Cirie aside (and let's face it, she should have been on the Villains side), fuck the Heroes tribe.

4. Sugar was voted out.

5. Rob and Jerri, being two of the three pre-All Stars castaways on their tribe, are incredibly "oh my god get the fuck off of our lawn" at all these stupid new players who don't make shelters or do anything ever.

6. Jerri and Coach, OTP.

7. Sugar was voted out.

8. Nobody seemed to like Sugar, especially Colby.

9. Jeff Probst outright lampshade hangs the fact that Sugar cries at everything.

10. Coach and the tree.

11. Rob and Sandra betting on Coach vs. tree.

12. Rupert is pompous about fire-making abilities. Gets promptly owned.

13. Coach owns Colby.

14. Sugar. Voted out. First episode.

15.

[The Quasi Juice]

Ugh, you make me want to rewatch HvV again, it's my favorite season, just filled with so much win. I understand Sugar was in, because well, she made it till the end and was somehow popular, so she was the "perfect" hero, but I too marked first episode.

The most entertaining people are villains. Cirie is a villain, Kenny....not sure, I guess if you can get away with Cirie and Candice as heroes, Kenny could be one.

Edited July 27, 2011 by The Quasi Juice

[GoGo Yubari]

Yeah, there's a whole lot of unintentional comedy based around Probst hyping up the tribes' heroism and villainy which doesn't... seem to line up with reality.

Parvati wondering why she's a villain, Probst going on and on about how evil the things the Black Widow Brigade did in Micronesia were, and the editors helpfully cutting to both Cirie and Amanda, who are... on the Heroes tribe is great. Jeff's continual "THE TEN MOST NOTORIOUS VILLAINS IN SURVIVOR HISTORY" thing is great because, uh, Danielle?

And I'm starting on the second episode "previously on" and there's a really good one in there too.

Probst: "Some choose to play the game with honor, and integrity."

(The camera cuts to Stephenie LaGrossa, who... blindsided half her tribe and made them all hate her so much that they voted for Danni Boatwright, the single least deserving Survivor winner ever. Whoops.)

Also, Randy loses points for not

Immediately delighting in the news of Sugar's departure. I was waiting for that so eagerly and he let me down!

[Pizza]

Episode 10 of Palau really pissed me off.

I'm glad Stephanie is still around and Janu isn't, but I really don't like the way it happened. Probst pretty much talked Janu into quitting, it just seemed like a shady way to keep the Stephanie storyline alive. Very disappointed in that. Maybe Stephanie's speech would have talked the votes she needed to go against Janu anyways, but for Jeff to go "Why don't you quit?" is bullshit.

Edited July 27, 2011 by pizzamonkey

[GoGo Yubari]

Palau and the Ulong Misery Tour is kind of the start of Jeff Probst, Meddling Dick.

[Pizza]

Yeah, I don't mind when he's just being an asshole to the players, but when he actively manipulates the outcome like that, it's pretty shitty.

[RPS]

Agreed about Palau and that being when dick Jeff Probst emerged. He was unbearable in Cook Islands and RI.

[GoGo Yubari]

At episode four of HvV and Jeff's being an ass again. The tribe doesn't need your fucking "I'm so mad at you" pep talk, dude.

EDIT: Also they're bringing back too many stupid "let's injure each other by fighting" challenges this season. They ran that risk in Micronesia too. Seriously, the fucking "scramble around in a pit slamming each other into wood and trying to grab beanbags" challenge needs to never happen again, and you'd think they would have learned after Samoa.

EDIT II: God, Russell. Is there a major Survivor player with a worse social game than him?

[RPS]

Heroes vs Villians is a horrendous season, mainly because there is ONE cast that ruins the entire season. Literally. Ruins the entire fucking season. You'll know what I am talking about. It fucking drives me nuts.

Edited July 28, 2011 by RockPaperScissors

[GoGo Yubari]

I'm enjoying it okay in a deeply frustrated way but already pretty sure that nothing is going to top the first episode. Also, I'm five episodes in and I'm pretty sure I know who is to HvV as Lex was to All-Stars.

'sup, J.T., another example of why trying to play an entirely different style than what worked for you is not a good plan. Should have committed to aligning with Tom and Colby instead of flopping and voting Tom out over an injured man who is just as much a source of the complaining and misery as anyone else.

[RPS]

I'm enjoying it okay in a deeply frustrated way but already pretty sure that nothing is going to top the first episode. Also, I'm five episodes in and I'm pretty sure I know who is to HvV as Lex was to All-Stars.

'sup, J.T., another example of why trying to play an entirely different style than what worked for you is not a good plan. Should have committed to aligning with Tom and Colby instead of flopping and voting Tom out over an injured man who is just as much a source of the complaining and misery as anyone else.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh J.T. He shouldn't have come back. Just wait for it.

[GoGo Yubari]

Episode six.

I just... what. Augh. I seem to have kept hearing good things about Tyson in HvV and now I'm wondering what that was all about, since he got a couple good lines in and then proceeded to make an incredibly stupid move. Fair play to Russell, he had the exact read on who he needed to flip (Rob making it blatantly obvious that Russell was going was kind of dumb and obvious, less would have been much much more). Like, seriously, are there really good YouTube deleted scenes out there or something? That was so disappointing. It's sad when Coach is coming off best out of the three Tocantins players at this point.

Luckily for him, the Heroes tribe is even dumber. Seriously, I just... they never should have voted Tom out. They should have voted out Colby and then James in that order. Instead they're left with the epitome of that guy who was awesome at football in high school but now he's old and washed-up and he works in a gas station (to be fair to Colby, though, Top Shot is kind of awesome), who James beat in the challenge. I'd like for James to get another shot because he keeps getting fucked over by injury, but at the same time I'm really iffy about people coming back for a fourth time when there are so many amazing players who haven't even come back for a second time.

Also, I love the talk in YouTube comments that James is such a huge dick this season. Um, sorry, have you ever watched Survivor: China before? James talks shit about people. It's just that this time he's talking shit about people you like.

Also, read that Corinne was also invited back for HvV but had work commitments. So that explains Danielle, I guess.

[The Quasi Juice]

How is Danielle even a villain due to her season? Corinne would have made more sense and just overall more entertaining

[GoGo Yubari]

I genuinely cannot answer that question. I'm sure she benefited from Corinne turning the offer down, but apparently Natalie Bolton was one of the alternates for the villains (the other was, as it turns out, Kenny) and not bringing her back over Danielle seems insane to me. Especially on a tribe with Parvati again (maybe CBS would have objected to more awkward flirting between them ).

It's actually interesting reading about some of the supposed alternates/other players considered for Heroes vs. Villains. Most surprising one was Gervase, which would have been kind of awesome and surreal. Honestly makes me want another All-Star season soon, perhaps one solely with players who haven't come back yet.

[RPS]

Chatter is season 24 is another Fans vs. Favorites.

Yeah, GoGo, Heroes vs Villians sort of deteriorates from this point. All because of Tyson. Stupid fucking Tyson.

Edited July 28, 2011 by RockPaperScissors

[GoGo Yubari]

Yeah, I know they're filming S24 already. I would be down with another FvF, especially if they brought either Erik or Natalie back for it.

[RPS]

I'd be down if they brought back people who weren't bigger names and no 3rd or 4th timers. I'd actually prefer an actual Fans vs. Favorites Redemption theme - bring back 10 contestants who were infamous for strategic mistakes or because they had awful personalities, see how time has changed them and see if they can adapt their strategy.

Edited July 28, 2011 by RockPaperScissors

[GoGo Yubari]

I remember there being a joke about doing Survivor: Idiots/Lunatics, which would be amazing. Bubba! Dr. Sean! Peter Harkey! Shambo! Phillip!

EDIT: Oh my god, Courtney's description of Russell. It's perfect.

EDIT II: Also, I was glancing back at the RI thread and saw this comment from you, RPS;

Throwing a challenge. Seriously. This has NEVER worked out in Survivor. Ever. Point me to an incident where it was a positive gain in throwing a challenge.

Silas Gaither. But that was really the only time.

[RPS]

Hmm. Forgot about Silas. Guess i was wrong.

[GoGo Yubari]

Okay, so, for South Pacific and the two players coming back for it.

Why is Coach returning again? It'll be amusing and all, and he did up his challenge game in HvV, but for a season under the Guatemala/RI model you really should be bringing back players who could conceivably win. The only appeal for Coach in an Redemption Island season is that, well, once he gets voted out and is in RI he'll probably be pretty hilarious for however long it is that he lasts. But seriously, now.

Ozzy, meanwhile, is interesting because hypothetically there are few players this season is designed so perfectly for. Probably even moreso than Rob. Like, his biggest strength might be diminished a bit by less water challenges, but he's at bare minimum pretty solid at everything with some other categories he's great at (balance and agility, to name two). I guess it'll be a question of whether he's still got it or not.