Paradox games but definitely NOT GAMES OF THRONE

[Roster Depth Sicko No. 2]

The few times I've managed to marry off one of my sons to her, she just finishes killing shit in Meereen and then teleports to wherever it is I'm set up to become a babymaking machine. Her fertility is through the fucking roof every time for some reason.

[Mick]

The one thing fucking up my plans right now is Renly. No heir cause gay, plus his wife for some reason is Brienne of Tarth :\

[Roster Depth Sicko No. 2]

I assume he still holds the Stormlands? Find the heir, marry into them instead. If Renly has no heir, it has to go to someone.

Marry someone to his hair, then just kill him. Problem solved

[Quom]

Gay people are always breeding whenever I play. Whatever the de-buff is it definitely doesn't seem to have much impact.

Speaking of which I really wish they'd do something where if you are leading troops your wife doesn't become pregnant, or if she does you don't have her hate you when you think the kid might not be yours. I don't think it's exceptionally shitty to think your wife might be porking the mailman if she's suddenly with child and you're marching around another continent.

[Meacon Keaton]

I had a game where I tried to get married to Margaery Tyrell for years, but her father kept saying "no". Eventually, after my first wife passed away, I looked and saw a 24-year old Margaery was still single. I asked her to marry me and she accepted.

Years later and she never got pregnant. Turns out she was gay and I never realized.

[Mick]

I had a game where I tried to get married to Margaery Tyrell for years, but her father kept saying "no". Eventually, after my first wife passed away, I looked and saw a 24-year old Margaery was still single. I asked her to marry me and she accepted.

Years later and she never got pregnant. Turns out she was gay and I never realized.

Runs in the family

Robb's Margaery on the other hand is like an Irish-Catholic mother. 9 kids and counting!

King Beron Stark of the Trident! (married to Queen Shireen Baratheon, daughter of King Stannis Baratheon, First of His Name)

Cassana Stark! (Stillborn )

Prince Donnis Stark! (Berothed to Lady Desmera Tyrell, son of Lord Paramount Willas Tyrell [Margaery's non-gay brother])

Prince Eddard Stark! (Berothed to Lady Paramount Elinor Lannister, daughter of Tommen Lannister and Arya Stark)

Prince Theon Stark! (Died as an infant)

Prince Stannis Stark! (Betrothed to some bastard kid that may have a claim to the Westerlands; the bastard is descended from...Twyin I think.)

Prince Brandon Stark! (Not yet betrothed)

Princess Arya Stark! (Twin 1, infant)

Princess Sansa Stark! (Twin 2....she's retarded )

[The Lusophone]

Gay people are always breeding whenever I play. Whatever the de-buff is it definitely doesn't seem to have much impact.

Speaking of which I really wish they'd do something where if you are leading troops your wife doesn't become pregnant, or if she does you don't have her hate you when you think the kid might not be yours. I don't think it's exceptionally shitty to think your wife might be porking the mailman if she's suddenly with child and you're marching around another continent.

The debuff is only like -20% fertility, but most characters have a base of at least 70%, so that's still 50% fertility which isn't bad - and is then effected by stuff like the attractive trait, which is either plus 10 or 20% fertility.

[Mick]

I caught Margaery in bed with another woman.

I sent Robb into the bed of that woman, cause that's how The King In The North rolls .

(Amazingly, it was the daughter of The Hound, who appropriately in this game, I shall dub The Bitch ).

[Noah]

Joffrey refused the trial by combat!

So instead I bribed him and am now free.

[Mick]

I love being an evil bastard sometimes.

Playing as Ned, right when the show starts....

It's three year's later. Rickon Stark needs a guardian to teach him. I decide I want Rickon to be a warrior like daddy, Robb and Brandon (Being taught by Barristan).

To whom do I give this honor of raising my son?

THE MOTHERFUCKIN' MOUNTAIN.

Rickon will be a badass, oh yes.

[Noah]

So if I'm Ned Stark and King Joffrey has a 100% positive opinion of me and Cersei Lannister just accepted an invitation to join my court, I'm doing something wrong right?

[Meacon Keaton]

If visiting Cersei in her chambers is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

[Bobfoc]

[Meacon Keaton]

Screw the Chaste trait. I married a woman and killed three guys for her to become heir of The Vale. We've been married for almost and decade and she's never gotten pregnant. Gimme a son and heir to The Vale that isn't some random schmuck!

[Mick]

Really, Ned?

[Gazz]

He is the rightful King whilst a usurper sits on the throne.

[Mick]

Played as Stannis during War of the Five Kings.

Took King's Landing, captured everyone, sparred almost everyone.

Except Joffrey and Ser Meryn. They helped me appease the Lord of Light .

Banished Tyrion and Twyin to The Wall. Tyrion takes it, but Tywin still has friends and managed to escape. That is, until he got a visit from a shadowy friend of mine .

And pretty much the entire realm hates me for killing Joffrey, but they can't do dick thanks to the Lord of Light's protection.

I honestly sympathize with Robert at this point. Winning the Iron Throne is a lot more fun than running it.

[Mick]

GODDAMNIT THEON

Time for you to meet a friend of mine.

[Mick]

Playing as a follow of R'hllor is fun!

"Is he a bad man, Mommy?"
"I don't know, kid, LET'S FIND OUT."

[stokeriño]

I've done my usual thing of toying with this game for a bit, thinking "...no, I do just suck at this", and then going off to play Europa Universalis IV instead.

EU4: the game for CK2 wusses.