It's going to be a countdown of the 22 Bond themes in the wake of Dr. No. I'm not counting the original Bond theme because that's not even fair. You don't count that. And I'm not including anything from any movie not in the official series. Apologies to the 0 Never Say Never Again fans on EWB.
Now, to the worst Bond theme of all time!
22. "All Time High" by Rita Coolidge (from Octopussy)
Ha! You thought it was going to be Madonna, didn't you? YOU ALL THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE MADONNA! Most likely because you forgot that this theme even existed. I know I did; I bought a CD of all the Bond themes when I was a kid (and repurchased it last year at a sale), and I don't think "All Time High" was on there. This is most likely because it is by far the worst Bond theme ever. There are other bad Bond themes, but this is the only one that doesn't even make the slightest effort to even sound like it's supposed to be about either the movie itself (not that I can fully blame someone for not wanting to write a song titled "Octopussy"), or even just a song about a spy. Instead, the further you go in the more it sounds like it should be the theme of an '80s family sitcom. It's basically the end of the period of Bond themes that were love songs sung, presumably, about/to Bond, and no fucking wonder they went straight to Duran Duran after this. This is pretty much the bottom of the barrel as far as that goes.
Next Time: Getting rid of the obvious!