the machine

Well shit. There goes 2/3 of my DC pull.

Ugh, I talked about this way too much in undergrad. Essentially Family Guy is a soulless commentary on how shitty sitcoms are/were, populated with characters nobody cares about (except maybe the baby or the dog). It also gets a lot of love for referencing things from the 80's that absolutely everyone had forgotten about, so rather than write actual jokes, it can just cut to a cartoon from the 80's and people will go "hey, I know what that is!" The show only worked as some kind of bizarre plot deconstruction, and that was before Adult Swim started improving on the formula (pretty much all every williams street show has ever done). Now it's just garbage with a lot of pop culture references. The target audience is boys that haven't heard sex jokes before and twenty-to thirty year old men who get all the references and would rather watch their Family Guy DVDs rather than go back and realize that all the stuff they loved as a child was actually shit. Not that I'm letting the Simpsons off the hook. For awhile it was probably the best show being put out on television, period. It had a bizarre combination of believable characters, talented writers, and an incredibly creative animation department. I mean, Brad Bird was animating, and Conan O'Brien was writing for them in season 4. How could that not be amazing? It went from being a pretty formulaic "edgy" sitcom (pretty much an animated Roseanne), to a developed world with clever writing and cinematic vision that was just great television. But all the writers moved on to host talk shows or direct mediocre films or direct great films like The Incredibles or The Iron Giant or create "The Critic" or "Mission Hill" or "Futurama" or whatever, and the animation started being handled by people that had pretty much just been worker bees (and computer animation has turned the show back into a traditional sitcom). While every other great sitcom from the 90's either went out on top or died a long, lingering death (remember when Drew Carey got a new job or Roseanne won the lottery?), the simpsons became a money-making machine and the show became obsessed with referencing every film ever. Political jokes that always go stale in the long development cycle also started showing up more, and are almost never funny. The Simpsons' target audience is weird, because the current audience is boys and girls under the age of about 15, while there's fans of all ages that don't watch the show any more.

Where on earth was she going to buy 12 individual issues of Watchmen? A quick e-bay search reveals some store selling it for $200 American, roughly ten times the cost of a tpb.

"Hallo! My name is Inigo Montoya! You kill my father. Prepare to die."

Since someone brought this back, here's a few that haven't been mentioned: The Baby crying stops a battle in Children of Men The ending to the 6th Sense Memento- Lenny's "does the world still have meaning when I close my eyes?" monologue and accompanying visuals- his wife being alive and his "I did it" tattoo over his heart. The final duel from the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly- way more epic than some of the stuff mentioned here. Lawrence rescues Ali from a sandstorm, Lawrence of Arabia. Incredible. The end of Throne of Blood where the MacBeth character is turned on and is hit by dozens of arrows while he goes absolutely nuts. The musical number from the Big Lebowski.

Ed Wood is right up there with Edward Scissorhands as Burton's best project. I love how fully he convinces the audience to root for a guy that thinks it's a minor detail to cut from day to night during a scene, or that it's an okay take when a guy hits the doorframe and shakes the set because that sort of thing would really happen to the character all the time. Martin Landau won an oscar for his portrayal of the bitter, proud and obviously troubled Bela Lugosi. For me, what makes the movie work so well is Wood's constant enthusiasm which seems to prevent him from having that bit of self-reflection that might make him realize how bad a movie he's making. Wood's childish love of movies may be an invention, but it makes the character extremely compelling. Edit: I can't wait for a Dead Man review. It's definitely a love it or hate it kind of movie.

Guy Pearce. Julianne Moore. DiCaprio. Hilary Swank. Natalie Portman. Johnny Depp. Nicholson. Robin Williams (Hook was a comedy). Tim Robbins.

It's incredible. It's maybe Ross' best artwork, and Busiek is like an encyclopedia when it comes to continuity. Something like Marvels would be impossible to set in the present day, since editors no longer feel the need to explain what order what story comes in or how Wolverine can possibly be everywhere at once. If you like Marvels, you should check out Astro City, Busiek's creator-owned series. It's about a city that's had superheroes for about a hundred years, but since there aren't market forces keeping characters de-aged (and re-singled), it results in some really interesting stories. There's a lot of character driven, "what's it like to live surrounded by superheroes" type stuff that reminded me of Marvels. I really wish Busiek wasn't working for a company I don't care about writing for a character I don't care about. Also, reading silver Age Avengers stories tells me you guys shouldn't even be talking about Zemo in your little time warp club. The original was dead just before the cooky quartet, and the second one doesn't show up until the 80's. Speaking of, I just read an old trade of Avengers: Under Siege, and it was outstanding. Zemo rounds up just about every villain he can find: Fixer, Screaming Mimi, Moonstone, Goliath (looking familiar yet?), the girl Yellowjacket, Grey Gargoyle, the Absorbing Man and Titania, the entire Wrecking Crew, Tiger Shark, Whirlwind, and Mr. Hyde, takes over Avengers Mansion, and then destroys Captain America's keepsakes before letting Hyde just about beat Jarvis to death. It's not as impressive now, but at the time it had to be a huge deal. What I especially like about it is that even when the Avengers are down to Wasp and Scott Lang, they don't give up and eventually take back the mansion in a pretty sweet extended fight. It makes me really ants-y for someone other than Bendis to write an Avengers book.

He got the Penguin name from being picked on as a kid for being a short fat kid with a long nose. He's also one of the only Batman villains around that isn't insane. I can't see the character as he appears in the comics be anything other than a cameo; you could have somebody run the Iceberg Lounge that is short and fat and a criminal middle-man, but building a film around it? I don't see it.

6.5 out of 10? Gilbert Grape's amazing! It deserves to be at least a full point better than Freddy's Dead, which didn't even turn out to be the final nightmare. I haven't seen it in awhile, but I remember it was about dealing with too much responsibility as a teenager. Between his obscenely fat mother and his retarded brother, he had to pretty much sacrifice his own life, and he ends up learning how stupid that is.

I missed this earlier, but as a huge Memento fan, I thought I'd comment. Spoiler: Click here to viewThe ending is intentionally pretty ambiguous, but the implication is that Lenny accidentally killed his wife, ended up in a mental institution (the screencap of Lenny faking recognition and DVD easter eggs and the old otnemem.com site support this) and got free hoping to get vengeance for his wife's death with help from Teddy. Teddy's line "it gets better every time you tell it" suggests that through repetition, Lenny has changed the story and convinced himself it's true. Since his wife died after his accident, he couldn't remember it anyway, and since he has constant reminders that he's separated from his wife, he's convinced himself that she died as he lost his memory. He turned the Sammy Jenkis story into a moral about the need to stay focused ("Yeah. I've got a reason.") and organized by subconsciously adding elements of his own story into a similar case. What I love about the whole movie is that the first frame shows Lenny killing Teddy, and you spend the whole movie wondering who's responsible and whether Lenny was set up or who Teddy really is only to discover that Lenny set it up himself. Because after all, without his organizing mission, he doesn't have anything except a padded cell to go back to. Why else would he burn the picture of himself, pointing to his heart? He knows what that means (based on his conversations with Natalie and the "I've done it" tattoo in the fantasy at the end), but he can't accept it.

Maybe it's because everything he's ever done for Marvel has been total shit, and I've always been a marvel zombie, but Loeb is probably the most over-rated writer not named Grant Morrison. He can tell "iconic" stories decently enough, but anything he's done in the past ten years has looked more outdated than Chris Claremont and John Byrne, which is really saying something.

If you like LXG, definitely check out Moore's Top Ten. It's a gritty cop drama in a city full of superheroes. It's hilarious, full of memorable characters, and has some amazing art. Edit: but don't worry about the prequels, sequels, and character spin-offs, as most aren't done by Moore, and tend to be pretty bland.

I really hope you're limiting yourself to the parody and slapstick genre here, as any list of all-time great comedies is going to have a bunch that are R rated. If a comedy isn't pushing the limits of tastes and decency, it's often some lame-ass "date" movie.

This week I picked up She-Hulk, Avengers, the Initiative, and Nova, among other things, and I have to say, this whole Invasion is making for some fun reading. I think the set up has been mediocre and I won't touch the Avengers titles until they're done filling in narrative gaps, but when it's just good guys fighting bad guys, absent any heavy-handed philosophical bullshit, it's great fun. It's a real shame that Nova is considered a sci-fi comic, because it has consistently been better than about 95% of comics Marvel puts out, but is only doing okay in terms of sales.

Disaster Movie comes from the same people that directed Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans. They were also some of the writers for the Scary Movie series, which started out as a Wayans project, before the second two were directed by David Zucker (from Airplane and the Naked Gun). Since Epic Movie, Date Movie, and Meet the Spartans are the worst things ever to be put on film- plotless, sub-Mad TV humor that you pay to watch- they make stuff like Not Another Teen Movie look like Shakespeare.

Since others have mentioned PBS, if I happen across Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, I find that I am physically incapable of changing the channel. And the only thing I remember about Thomas the Tank engine is that George Carlin was there for some reason.

Freakazoid did have a second season... A lot of the stuff I still remember fondly have already been mentioned- Animaniacs, Freakazoid, Batman TAS, and pretty much all of that warner bros. stuff from when they were going all out with studio orchestras and humor for people that weren't idiots. Batman Beyond was pretty much the last WB show I watched, and I loved that one, too. Also, Disney's late 90's animated stuff like Recess and Fillmore were great shows. I also liked the Weekenders and House of Mouse. I can't stand watching sit-coms that look like they should've been on TGIF 15 years ago, though. I also liked Disney's early 90's cartoon lineup, especially Darkwing Duck and Ducktales. I'm not sure where it fits into everything, but I also loved Gargoyles. I also liked Cartoon Network's early stuff, especially Powerpuff Girls. Something I thought about recently is that people younger than me, that grew up in an era where there was enough original cartoons that they didn't always show old, classic stuff. I mean, I grew up in the late 80's and early 90's and I remember watching Looney Tunes, Woody Woodpecker, Scooby Doo, Disney cartoons that actually featured characters like Donald Duck and Goofy and Micky Mouse. Even the shit like Popeye or the creepy acid trip stuff like Betty Boop and early Disney is going to be completely unknown outside of college courses in communications departments. I think that's a real shame, as not only are people missing some great cartoons, there's huge amounts of references to classic Looney Tunes stuff that today's children won't get. Plus, those cartoons are still funny.

American History X is the first movie I came across in the top 50 that had no business being there. Although I second the motion that Return of the King had no place at the very top of the list.

Maybe if a dog bit your testicles or someone drove a nail through some extremity. Maybe. I don't think it re-invents the wheel, but unentertaining? The whole thing is predicated on a few things: first, Dr. Horrible wants the girl, but he thinks he wants to be a great supervillain. So you're right, he's a lousy villain. Second, Dr. Horrible is given characteristics that's supposed to help the audience associate with Horrible; this creates a pretty obvious nerd/jock dynamic where Dr. Horrible is just getting picked on ("Captain Hammer separated my shoulder. AGAIN.") by a bullying 'hero' who is really superficial and idiotic. Finally, the story is told through a wealth of cliches because a) it's a musical, and b) it's a parody of the classic "too shy to talk to her" genre, only with freeze rays and singing and such. And come on, no good jokes? How about "these are not 'the hammer,'" or "dude, you are not. My nemesis." Or how about Captain Hammer's speech to the homeless? Oh, and the point of Moist was worldbuilding. He's there so we can see that the society in 'Dr. Horrible' has a bunch of supervillains of varying degrees. Beyond having amusingly useless powers, he delivers the letter from Bad Horse, and casually mentions about three other villains with names like "Bait and Switch" and whoever it was that said some president was coming from Iowa so that we know that Dr. Horrible isn't an isolated nutjob, but a low level villain (he's friends with a guy who makes things damp) who wants to be a big, important villain. At least, that's what he thinks he wants.

NPH's "Brand New Day" song has been in my head all freaking day. The ending is a mixed bag, but I love the goofy evil league of evil and the revelation concerning Bad Horse. It's a good thing Dr. Horrible doesn't have to be his mare! (insert NPH sexuality joke here)

Oh man I love Rorschach! This movie could be complete and utter dogshit, but if they have even 50% of the completely nuts, over-the-top shit Rorschach does on a regular basis, this movie will be outstanding. "What do you see?" "Dog. Dog with head split in half." "And, uh, what do you think split the dog's head. In half?" "I did."

I've seen worse lists, but anyone who lists American History X as a favorite movie is either someone I don't want to talk to (for one reason or another) or was just mesmerized by Edward Norton's sexiness. It's a great performance, but the film is a mess that the director lost control of, and has some of the most contrived, after-school special moments around. God, that basketball scene? Such shit. Where's the love for Memento or Chinatown? The Big Lebowski and Fargo and the rest of the Coen's amazing body of work?

Here's just a few of my favorites: Spacey at his best Sometimes there's a man... You said it man... The best movie of '06 Not this door! PS- to the guy that loved Hostel- Eli Roth directed it, QT only produced it.