Ananas

Alright I just can't write up anything for ABC or The WB, due to my giving less than 1/100th of a fuck. Here are the links to the full up front presentations, and I'll get CBS and FOX when they come out: ABC The WB A few notes: - What the fuck is ABC doing? If they were trying to shake things up and start a new, they failed miserably. This network has become the brunt of every other networks jokes. Conan O'Brien, who hosted NBC's up fronts, quipped that NBC's new slogan was now "NBC... at least we're not ABC". He's absolutely right. The comedies and dramas being added are the same unoriginal garbage that they've been pumping out for years. As for their reality tv, when is ABC going to realise that reality series' that don't have an executive producer named Fuller or Burnett will never succeed? Either shit (get Burnett) or get off the pot, and try and find something new to save this miserable failure. - As for The WB, getting McG on board is probably a good idea ratings wise, but almost everything else they've picked up is a collosal mistake. There is nothing hot about Drew Carrey (he's getting a new improv comedy series, only a few seasons after he lost his last one due to shitty ratings), and everyone of Jeff Foxworthy's TV endeavors have failed miserably. They had the right idea getting Mark Burnett on board for a series, except for the fact that it's a scripted comedy, something Burnett has no experience in, unless you believe the theories against Survivor's legitimacy. Jack and Bobby has some potential, but on The WB how much attention is it really going to get? I didn't think they had much of a day either, and it looks like NBC's upfronts remain the best through two days. - One more completely unrelated note about NBC, it has decided to renew Scrubs through not only next season, but the 05-06 season as well. Good to see Jeff Zucker finally having some faith. Tommorow is CBS, with UPN and FOX coming on Thursday.

It's not the audience's fault that Coupling flopped or that the American Office will flop. If you'd seen the American version of Coupling I doubt you'd have found it funny either. Americans have a great sense of humour. British TV execs love American TV so much that they adapted Friends into their own show, and named it Coupling. One more point to add about NBC, they've renewed Scrubs through the 05-06 season. Is NBC actually showing some faith in a show not named Friends or Joey?

This week, as the networks announce their Fall 2004 Schedules, I'll be adding some notes from their presentations and briefly commenting on the new shows and schedules. This can serve as a nice preview to television this fall. I'll start with NBC, who did their presentation yesterday: This fall, NBC will be rolling out 2 new comedies and 3 new dramas, totally only 4 hours of new programming, the least amount of new programming the network has ordered in the past 5 years. However, midseason will bring an additional 7 series throughout the year, totaling the most aggressive full season ordering ever for the network. COMEDIES JOEY -- The still-single Friend strikes out on his own as Emmy nominee Matt LeBlanc reprises his "Friends" role as charming Joey Tribbiani in this spinoff that continues the beloved "Friends" tradition. LeBlanc is backed by the award-winning writers and director who contributed to the unforgettable "Friends" phenomenon. Joey leaves New York for Hollywood in order to take his acting career to the next level. He also says goodbye to a time when his friends were his family and welcomes the chance to turn his family into his friends. After reuniting with his high-strung sister Gina (Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos"), Joey moves in with Michael (Paulo Costanzo, "Road Trip"), his 20-year-old genius nephew, who unbelievably is literally a rocket scientist. However, what Joey lacks in book smarts he makes up for with people smarts - making him the best new friend his nephew could ask for. Ashley Scott ("Birds of Prey") also stars as Joey's attractive neighbor. "Joey" is produced by Warner Bros. Television. Kevin S. Bright ("Friends") returns as executive producer and director; Shana Goldberg and Scott Silveri (both "Friends") also return as executive producers and writers. FATHER OF THE PRIDE -- NBC teams with the creative powerhouse studio that brought the world "Shrek," along with some all-star voices, to create a computer-generated-imaging (CGI) series of the highest caliber. Viewers will journey inside the lives of a pride of white lions who perform in the world-famous Siegfried and Roy show and will also explore their lush Las Vegas habitat. The lions are led by zoo-raised Larry (John Goodman, "Roseanne") and his wife Kate (Cheryl Hines, "Curb Your Enthusiasm"), a showbiz veteran. In fact, Kate's father, Sarmoti (Emmy winner Carl Reiner, "The Dick Van Dyke Show"), is a Las Vegas legend who is used to headlining the show. However, when Sarmoti's age begins to catch up with him, he reluctantly passes the crown to Larry -- and sets the Las Vegas "neighborhood" abuzz. Other animals in the mix include a mischievous gopher named Snack (Orlando Jones, "Magnolia"), a karaoke-performing orangutan, and an easily agitated pink flamingo. Oddly enough, their world is a lot like ours - except for the whole talking animals thing. CGI versions of Siegfried & Roy (voiced by Julian Holloway, "Michael Uncle Silas," and Dave Herman, "Office Space) will be featured in the series. Danielle Harris ("Rugrats Gone Wild") and Daryl Sabara, "Spy Kids") also star. "Father of the Pride" will be the first primetime television show with feature film-quality CGI animation. Created by Jeffrey Katzenberg ("Shrek") and developed by Jonathan Groff ("Late Night with Conan O'Brien"), the series is executive-produced by Katzenberg, Groff, Jon Pollack ("Spin City," "Just Shoot Me") and Peter Mehlman ("Seinfeld"). The series is produced by DreamWorks Television and DreamWorks Animation. DRAMAS MEDICAL INVESTIGATION -- Based on true accounts, these are the stories of the National Institute of Health, America's most elite unit of medical experts. But these doctors don't operate in a hospital. At a moment's notice, they're summoned anywhere in the country, authorized to take over treatment of any case. Each assignment is a life-or-death rescue against time and the leader is Stephen Connor (Neal McDonough, "Boomtown"), a doctor consumed by his job -- with a broken marriage to prove it. Equally passionate Dr. Natalie Durant (Kelli Williams, "The Practice") is the heart and soul of the team. Investigations are complicated by a harried government administrator who consistently pushes Bowman to go by the book, -- which is unlikely to happen. Completing the unit are a chief investigator Troy Winbush ("John Q."), the team's press liaison (Anna Belknap, "The Handler") and a young doctor (Christopher Gorham, "Jake 2.0") new to the team. A saltshaker, a cigarette butt, a flower petal -- anything could be the clue to crack the case. Part cop show, part medical drama - and a great hour of mystery. Michelle Ashford, Bob Cooper and Scott Vila are executive producers for this series from Paramount Network Television and NBC Universal Television. The pilot episode was written by co-executive producer Jason Horwitch and Michelle Ashford. HAWAII -- Hawaii can seduce just about anyone...cops and criminals alike. Murder, drug-running and organized cartels filter through the unique island culture to represent just some of the big-city casework that this big island police force confronts. Where else would cops discover a smoldering torso at the base of an active volcano? The diverse group of cops and detectives may work against a breathtaking backdrop of jungles and seascapes, but they can never take a vacation from the tangle of local and international criminals who constantly cross their paths. It's never a typical crime scene and these are not TV's typical cops - which is exactly what makes "Hawaii" so alluring. Michael Biehn ("Terminator"), Sharif Atkins (NBC's "ER"), Ivan Sergei (NBC's "Crossing Jordan"), Eric Balfour ("Six Feet Under"), Aya Sumika and Cary Tagawa star. Jeff Eastin is the creator and executive producer. Daniel Sackheim ("The Lyons Den") directs. "Hawaii" is from NBC Universal Television. LAX -- Television favorite Heather Locklear ("Spin City") returns to primetime -- full-time -- in this off-beat dramatic series centered in a world unto itself: a major international airport. Security breaches, tearful reunions, illegal immigrants, missing children, runaway animals, drug busts, drunken pilots -- there are countless stories to tell in "LAX." Whether it's the ongoing power struggle between the Airfield Chief (Locklear) and the Terminal Manager (Blair Underwood, "L.A. Law"), the romantic misadventures of the Airline Supervisor Tony (Paul Leyden, "As the World Turns") or the trial-by-fire of a young, naive Immigration Office clerk Nick (David Paetkau, "Final Destination 2"), viewers will be pulled into this unique world. Then there are the passengers, loading, unloading and passing through each episode. Each week will feature their compelling dramas -- from chance encounters between strangers to surprise reunions of long-lost lovers to - "the sky's the limit." Wendy Hoopes ("Daria"), Chad Todhunter ("Party of Five") and Frank John Hughes ("Band of Brothers") also star. "LAX" is from NBC Universal Television. Mark Gordon and writer Nick Thiel are the executive producers. Joe and Anthony Russo ("Lucky") directed the pilot. MIDSEASON SHOWS LAW & ORDER: TRIAL BY JURY -- The television benchmark of crime and justice arrives with the fourth edition of the history-making phenomenon. In many respects, "Law & Order: Trial by Jury" represents the pinnacle of executive producer Dick Wolf's remarkable franchise: it's courtroom justice - pure, but not so simple. The ripped-from-the-headlines stories will be entirely court-based, with a feel of contemporary "Perry Mason" mystery offering trademark twisting toward resolution. The complicated cases will begin with a criminal arraignment and will take viewers through all the twists and turns of a trial. Audiences will see the judges, prosecutors, public defenders and other legal players like never before - inside their chambers and offices, inside their minds and machinations. Stars from other "Law & Order" series may also appear, though the real star will be the stories as they unfold, weaving a fascinating tale of legal drama as only "Law & Order" can. This series is from Wolf Films and NBC Universal Television. CRAZY FOR YOU -- Welcome to the funny and highly unusual courtship of New Yorkers Nate (Josh Cooke, "Century City") and Marni (Emmy winner Jennifer Finnigan, NBC's "Crossing Jordan"). On the surface, they couldn't appear more different; Nate's the heir apparent to a long line of geniuses whose mental ability has caused them all to go insane. Then there's Marni, an occupational therapist and perpetual optimist, who ponders whether to take one more dip in the city's dating pool. Somehow, they meet and ironically find a connection that could become love. Although he's negative to a fault, she's likewise positive to a fault, so these total opposites may just be made for each other. Now they just have to figure that out if they don't get in the way first. Darius McCrary ("Kingpin"), Tammy Lynn Michaels ("The L Word") and Tom Poston ("Newhart") also star. Eileen Heisler and DeAnn Heline ("Three Sisters") wrote the pilot and serve as executive producers. Gary Halvorson (NBC's "Friends," "Everybody Loves Raymond") directs the pilot for this series from NBC Universal Television. THE MEN'S ROOM -- Along a sunlit stretch of Southern California beachfront paradise co-exist the not-always-idyllic lives of next-door neighbors Charlie (Scott Cohen, "The Practice"), Bob (John Cho, "American Pie") and Michael (Eric Lively, "Uprising"). Charlie -- 42 and married for 20 years -- wonders if life, love and those gorgeous, young roller-blading babes are passing him by. At the other end of the generational spectrum, Michael is 22 going on 50-something, trying to be less "responsible" and a lot more "fun." Both men have no clue how to grasp the happiness that eludes them, so they turn to Bob, a 32-year-old budding male guru, in this comedy about guys helping guys be better guys. Suzanne Cryer ("Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place") and Shelly Cole ("Prey for Rock") also star. "The Men's Room" is produced by NBC Universal Television. Danny Zucker is the executive producer and writer. Marc Cendrowksi is the director of the pilot. MEDIUM - In this drama, Allison Dubois (Patricia Arquette, "Stigmata," "Flirting with Disaster") sees dead people - and in fact, she hears them constantly too. No, she's not crazy, although her husband Joe (Jake Weber, "U-571"), a rocket scientist, thought that was a possibility at first. So did Allison herself, until she realized that her "gift" could not only change fate -- but provide justice for those who no longer had a voice. Don't think Allison is totally comfortable with all of this -- in fact, she's as creeped out as everyone else. Imagine a dead father-in-law popping up unexpectedly at the foot of someone's bed. Plus, there are the jarring slices of disturbing crime scenes that pepper Allison's thoughts, added to her ability to sometimes know exactly what those around her (dead or alive) are thinking. Luckily, Allison has a great sense of humor along with her sixth sense. Even Joe, whose whole career is based on logic and fact, has become a bemused believer. The real challenge is convincing law enforcement agencies around the country that Allison is the real deal. "Medium" is from Picturemaker Productions and Grammnet Productions in association with Paramount Network Television. Glenn Gordon Caron ("Moonlighting") and Kelsey Grammer ("Frasier") are executive producers. REVELATIONS -- Bill Pullman ("Independence Day") stars as a scientist faced with the toughest personal, professional and philosophical challenges of his life. Dr. Richard Massey is searching for reasonable explanations -- to explain signs that seem to indicate the apocalyptic end as foretold in Scriptures is in motion. To save humanity, Massey will have to let go of scientific facts and embrace faith. His first step in his quest to conquer the impending evil is to align himself with a nun (Natascha McElhone, "Solaris") whose devout beliefs are unshakeable. Despite many obstacles, including their own fears and doubts, the two remain determined to prove that Man can regain control of fate. Time is literally running out in their thrilling, fast-paced race around the globe to thwart Armageddon -- and restore hope. Michael Massee ("Se7en"), newcomers Chelsea and Britney Coyle and Tobin Bell ("The Road to El Dorado") also star. "Revelations" is a production of Pariah. Vivian Cannon and Jessika Borsiczky will oversee the project for Pariah. "Revelations" is directed by David Semel (NBC's "American Dreams"). THE OFFICE -- Based on the popular British series of the same name, this faster-paced American version follows the daily interactions of a group of idiosyncratic office employees via a documentary film crew's cameras. Regional manager Michael (Steve Carell, "Bruce Almighty") thinks he's the coolest, funniest, best boss ever - which, of course, makes him the uncoolest, most obnoxious and annoying boss as far as his staff is concerned. His co-worker Jim (John Krasinski, "Kinsey") lusts after engaged receptionist Pam (Jenna Fischer, "Miss Match") when he's not sabotaging his "cube-mate" -- the know-it-all Dwight (Rainn Wilson, "Six Feet Under"). Meanwhile, the entire office is constantly worried about the impending staff cuts. Will there be layoffs? Will there be office romance? Will Michael ever shut up? If it's truly a typical office, then the answers are "maybe," "yes," and "absolutely not." B.J. Novak ("Raising Dad") also stars. Ben Silverman, Greg Daniels, Howard Kelin, Golden Globe winner Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant are the executive producers. Ken Kwapis executive-produced and directed the pilot. The series is produced by Reveille in association with NBC Universal Television. THE CONTENDER - "The Contender" will follow 16 aspiring boxers from training camp through an evolving series of ring challenges and boxing matches over 16 episodes - with the final victor claiming a million dollar prize. The driving force behind the series will be the pursuit of the American dream and the natural trials, tribulations and heartbreak inherent in that quest combined with the drama and tension of the sweet science. The canvas of the show is much broader than boxing - it will give viewers a first hand look into the real life hopes, triumphs and defeats of the contestants. "The Contender" will be a joint production of Mark Burnett Productions, DreamWorks Television and Rogue Marble. Stallone, Burnett and Katzenberg are the executive producers. FOR LOVE OR MONEY 4 - "For Love or Money 4" - the newest version of last summer's hottest unscripted drama -- returns for a fourth edition. Jordan Murphy ("Boston Public") returns as host of the series, guiding the 16 beautiful female contestants through the numerous twists and turns as they try to win the heart of a handsome and charming bachelor. The upcoming season of "For Love or Money" breaks new ground by introducing an all-new game and a whole new twist. This summer, they women are forced to answer the question "What is the price of love?," since they are each playing for an undisclosed amount between $1 and $1 million. Although the women do not know the value of their checks, their handsome suitor will, leading them all back to the ultimate question . . . who is in it for love and who is in it for money? "For Love or Money" is a production of Nash Entertainment & 3 Ball Productions. Bruce Nash (NBC's "Who Wants to Marry My Dad?," "Mr. Personality") is the executive producer, along with J.D. Roth ("Endurance," "Moolah Beach"), Todd Nelson ("Endurance," "Moolah Beach") and John Foy ("The Martin Short Show"). AVERAGE JOE - The next installment of the NBC smash series "Average Joe" that posed the challenge: Can a drop-dead gorgeous woman actually fall for an ordinary-looking guy? "Average Joe" is from NBC Universal Television; the executive producers are Stuart Krasnow ("Average Joe," "Weakest Link") and Andrew Glassman ("Average Joe"). Finally, the fall schedule: MONDAY 8-9 p.m. "Fear Factor" 9-10 p.m. "Las Vegas" 10-11 p.m. "LAX" TUESDAY 8-9:00 p.m. "Average Joe"/"THE CONTENDER" 9:00-9:30 p.m. "FATHER OF THE PRIDE" 9:30-10 p.m. "Scrubs" 10-11 p.m. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" WEDNESDAY 8-9 p.m. "HAWAII" 9-10 p.m. "The West Wing"/"REVELATIONS" 10-11 p.m. "Law & Order" THURSDAY 8-8:30 p.m. "JOEY" 8:30-9 p.m. "Will & Grace" 9-10 p.m. "The Apprentice 2" 10-11 p.m. "ER" FRIDAY 8-9 p.m. "Dateline NBC" 9-10 p.m. "Third Watch" - new time 10-11 p.m. "MEDICAL INVESTIGATION" SATURDAY 8-11 p.m. "NBC Saturday Night Movie" SUNDAY 7-8 p.m. "Dateline NBC" 8-9 p.m. "American Dreams" 9-10 p.m. "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" 10-11 p.m. "Crossing Jordan" A few other notes: - NBC's fall schedule will roll out in late August after the Summer Olympics. - The Bill Pullman starring Revelations is actually an 8 part miniseries. My take on the whole thing: Well, NBC's certainly started the rebuilding process on Tuesday nights with Average Joe/The Contender and Father of the Pride building to Scrubs. It will be interesting to see Scrubs given the reigns to a night for once, because it seems obvious that Scrubs will be the most watched program of the evening of the promote it correctly. As for the pilots being ordered, I have little to no interest in any of them apart from The Men's Room (with the MILF guy from American Pie!) and the American version of The Office (and that interest draws from my expecting to see it crash and burn). Debuting the season in August is smart since it will give them the leg up on Thursdays on Survivor, but I have a feeling that Survivor will debut on top in September and stay that way through its entire 9th season. Things weren't to easy for NBC last year, and it's gonna get worse in 04/05. Credit to most of this: NBCMV.com Discuss, and I'll get to work on ABC's upfront, which is today (although how many people actually watch NBC?).

In America - 9/10 I laughed, I cried. No seriously, I did. This is a really powerful and thought envoking film that casts great light on the situations surrounding lower class immigrants to the United States. I thought the kids were extremely charming and that there was enough laughs to keep the film from getting too serious. This really was one of the best movies made last year.

Obviously the people casting this film have yet to see Radio. Dude can't act, case closed.

Well sort of, but the root of it all was 2pac's thinking Bad Boy and Biggie were involved in the New York recording studio shooting. From that original animosity came the supposed "East-West Beef". In the end, 2pac and Biggie were both dead, and Suge Knight and Puff Daddy were laughing all the way to the bank. Well Puffy was, Suge was just in jail.

Somebody wants a black James Bond. Honestly, if I had to choose between Tarantino directing and Sam Jackson as Bond, I'd go for the baddest motherfucker in show business in a second.

I highly doubt that parents are going to be influenced by their kids' music. Probably the exact opposite. Hopefully the kids let their parents see the bonus videos and such; that might help.

A Tribe Called Quest - "Midnight Marauders" and "People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm" For me, A Tribe Called Quest are the quintessential hip hop group. Avoiding putting any real focus on image or marketing, they gained massive success with their rhymes. Listening to these two albums is like a gateway to the rest of the genre, because in almost any really good hip hop album since you can find a little Tribe influence. Our Lady Peace - Spiritual Machines This is one of those great passed over albums, at least in the States. While Clumsy and Gravity both went Gold in America, this one almost got lost in a shuffle in the nu metal that was dominating the charts at the time. However, I must stress that this is not only the best album that Our Lady Peace ever recorded, but also one of the best concept albums ever recorded. I love how it pretty much comes full circle, taking you on the journey with them. 2pac - Me Against the World If you need me to explain this, perhaps you should read a book about the mid 90's pop culture. This album was the best 2pac ever recorded, and probably his most influential. Coldplay - "A Rush of Blood to the Head" and "Parachutes" Listen to Parachutes and be impressed with how great a debut it is. Then, listen to A Rush of Blood to the Head and be amazed at how quickly they were able to top it. I highly anticipate the third album, although it seems doomed to disappoint. Ozzy Osbourne - "Blizzard of Ozz" Listen to Dee. You will then need no further explanation.

It may end up being funny, but probably in all the wrong ways, like how From Justin 2 Kelly was funny. I mean, it was a laugh riot, but no credit to the directors.

I don't look forward to it at all to be honest with you. I think the niche of Thunderbirds was the puppets, even if the show wasn't exactly rocket science. Using the same lame premise and instead using real people will just turn it into one of those generic sci-fi movies that everyone ignores. I'm predicting it'll be a huge flop, but who knows, maybe the millions of people that have seen the show at some time will help it's box office.

*shudders* Anti Flag makes my ears bleed. Other then that, it's a nice idea, but since the majority of people picking it up will be under 18 I don't know how much good it will do. Hopefully it'll produce a generation of non-Republicans.

That's kind of funny, because I think all of Mase's stuff came out after both Biggy and 2pac were dead. News slow getting back to Germany?

Is it just me, or did Michael Jackson just lose his crown as worst celebrity baby namer? It's like the parents don't even care about their children's future social life.

If your going to refuse anything, you ought to spell it right. Bow is spelt with a B.

Silence you, it's Beasty. I thought we settled on that.

Yep, you got me convinced, I guess it's perfectly alright to stereotype. Good stuff.

I'd put them on even levels of stupidity. Remember when people actually wanted Apple Shampoo unbanned?

American Pie Bridge on the River Kwai Chasing Amy Dogma Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Fight Club Great Escape, The High Fidelity It's A Wonderful Life Jay and Silent Bob Stike Back Kill Bill (Vol 2 if your nasty) Lost in Translation Matrix, The North by Northwest Ocean's Eleven (Original) Pulp Fiction Quiet Man, The Reservoir Dogs Star Wars To Kill A Mockingbird Unforgiven Vertigo Wag the Dog (although Waking Life is close) X-2 (Due to me not recalling any other X films, other than, well, you know) You've Got Mail (Had to get one Hanks film. At least it's not You Got Served) Zoolander (And I didn't even like it. Says something about Z films)

Guess I should add that you can check the track out here.

Write it out: "I owe Numbahs one life" Haven't seen 12 Monkeys, and I have heard that it's his best, but I can't possibly judge without having seen the film.

Pitt was good in Ocean's Eleven and Seven.

Credit - SOHH.com Apparently this had been rumoured for quite some time, but I can't find anything about it on these boards, and it's news to me. It's good news actually, I really dug Mase. It's also good to see he's found a happy medium between his faith and his passion, instead of just ignoring one of the two. Discuss.

It's just Tom and his accoustic guitar, it's awesome. You can check it out here, and the song is called "House Gone Up In Flames".

Fuck. I like Audioslave, but I thought Tom was gonna actually have a go with his solo project the Nightwatchman. The one song I heard was awesome.