THE YEAR IN MOVIES: 2004

[St. Dubb]

I enjoyed Walking Tall, I believe I gave it a 6/10 - thought it was a pretty average action flick that got an extra point or so for The Rock's performance in it. I agree that The Rock could be the next big action star, but I'm not too sure about how well his upcoming movies are going to fair.

I saw The Forgotten as well, and agreed with most of the stuff said here as well. I was pretty bored by it, as it was predictable. The people I saw the movie with loved it though...go figure. I think I gave it like a 5/10 or so as well.

[Pepsi]

I dont know how you could give Saw the same rating as Walking Tall. Saw is definatly a 5/10 movie but Walking Tall was 2/10 at best. It was awful. An action movie with hardly any action, a comedy with hardly any laughs, a drama with hardly any drama. It's just a totally let down from The Rock previous movie "The Rundown". I thought Walking Tall was just plain awful.

"Maria Full of Grace" better be on your list or else you need to see better movies.

[Numbahs]

"Maria Full of Grace" better be on your list or else you need to see better movies.   

←

[Numbahs]

I'm up to 145 with last night's Thunderbirds...as expected, it didn't move anything down a spot.

#70 - THE LIFE AQUATIC

RELEASE DATE: DECEMBER 10th, 2004

One of the bigger disappointments of the year for me, Wes Anderson's latest film The Life Aquatic is a silly joke without a punchline. It has no idea where it's going, and it doesn't care. It's content to just sit there and hope you are enjoying it. To it's credit, it did make me laugh many times(although I could attribute that to the random humor that always makes me laugh in Anderson's films). None of the characters are dynamic or interesting at all. The main character, Steve Zissou, doesn't even change throughout the film. I was expecting him to be transformed into a nicer guy with each passing second of the film, and when the moment came for the character, he just realized he was a prick and there was nothing he could do about it.

I didn't enjoy The Royal Tenenbaums(Anderson's effort before this) on my first viewing, but there's enough in that movie to have made me change my mind about it. Unfortunately, I can't say I'll be changing my mind about this one.

5/10 for this one.

[GoGo Yubari]

Hunh. I liked Life Aquatic, but mostly because it had so much "What the FUCK?!?" material that was funny despite the fact that it shouldn't be (such as Pele playing the guitar endlessly). The plot lacked, but I thought it made up for it with weird little moments like guitar thing.

[Numbahs]

#75 - THE PUNISHER

RELEASE DATE: APRIL 16th, 2004

This film suffers the fate that most comic book/video game movies usually do. They add too many unnecessary characters just to see the fanboys' heads pop off. Now, with that "too many characters" problem comes another problem when you cast just about every character in the film with an actor who completely hams it up. Outside of Thomas Jane in the lead role, no one is really "good" here....

The better parts of the movie come when the action is going down. The fight with Kevin Nash is probably the highlight of the film, as it is a really nice fight scene that features some things you don't see all the time. The film also builds up well to the end massacre where you just want to see Tom Jane kick all sorts of ass. Unfortunately, they cap that all off with the FLAMING SKULL O' DOOM~!, so it all cancels out. (If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm saying)

Anyway, same rule applies here as to Saw.....if you feel like a nice, cheese-filled, entertainment picture, look no further. 5/10.

[Numbahs]

I liked Life Aquatic, but mostly because it had so much "What the FUCK?!?" material that was funny despite the fact that it shouldn't be

←

[ROC]

I can't wait for your reviews (or massacrings) of Johnson Family Vacation and Starship Troopers 2....

[Ananas]

I always thought of The Punisher as the kind of film that started slow and really picked up towards the end, albeit taking too long to do so. Tom Jane wasn't bad, but he didn't really convey the emotions The Punisher ought to be feeling, or at the very least supressing. I believe it got 5/10 from me also. As for the other films so far, I gave Walking Tall 5.5/10 and The Life Aquatic 7/10.

[Hellfire]

I can't wait for your reviews (or massacrings) of Johnson Family Vacation and Starship Troopers 2....

[Numbahs]

#69 - MAN ON FIRE

RELEASE DATE: APRIL 21st, 2004

Man On Fire is an interesting movie for someone like me. How can one movie be exactly what I'm looking for content-wise, but still fail enough to make it so I can't recommend it to people?

1. Everyone does a great job in their roles.

2. They build up the relationship between Fanning and Washington very much moreso than I ever imagined....a great thing that is essential to the audience "rooting" for Washington as he takes revenge on some people who may or may not deserve it.

3. It has Christopher Walken.

These things are all money in the Numbahs bank. How does it all go wrong? I'll tell you. The first and most obvious problem is the two and a half hour runtime. This movie is bloated....and here's the sad part. I can't think of anything that could stand to be cut. It's almost as if there is no possible way to stop the audience from being bogged down. It also doesn't help that the director bombards them with quick-cuts, speed changes, and words on the screen. Tony Scott's direction is a Vin Diesel, love it or hate it-type of thing. I dislike any type of direction that personally takes me out of the experience. So I guess you can count that as a strike against it.

Anyway, these last few 5/10 rated movies as I work my way up to the 6s are very much movies I like and dislike. This movie probably the frontrunner to back up that statement. I don't like it, but I have no problem watching it time and time again.

[Ananas]

I agree with you that the film was too long, but in the end I thought it was engaging enough from a character perspective. The director does his job to speed up the film, and the characters envoke the real responses. 7/10 from me.

[Laice07]

I'm Lovin it....and its not McDonalds. Great work so far! I didn't see Man on Fire yet, but I did watch Walking Tall....and I agree for the most part about your thoughts on the movie.

[Guest Ringmaster]

The Life Aquatic: I don't think it was a good Wes Anderson movie, that being said, it was an okay movie. While the characters were bastards, I found them to be the enjoyable bastard type characters you can't help but like a little. Of course, the typical Wes Anderson cinematography makes this better then average. I'd give it a 6/10.

The Punisher: Dull, boring and a waste of Thomas Jane, 3/10.

Man on Fire: Washington has been making these token good guy movies, and this one is no execption. I found Walken cool, but that about it. 4/10. Standard Movie.

Edited January 6, 2005 by Ringmaster

[Numbahs]

#76 - SEED OF CHUCKY

RELEASE DATE: NOVEMBER 12th, 2004

Okay, I allow myself guilty pleasures every year. These movies are ones I know are horrid pieces of shit but can't help but enjoy(really enjoy, not that false trumped-up enjoyment I throw to movies like Catwoman) on some odd, odd level.

Last year it was stuff like Boat Trip and 2Fast 2Furious. (Spare me the hate)

This year it's Seed Of Chucky.

ALL of the humor is lame. Lamer than FDR's legs, one might say. But the lame humor is justified by the movie knowing it's stuck in an odd place where it can't be scary anymore. Nobody will take these lame-ass dolls as a threat anymore, so they turn it into some sort of dark humor paradise where people make out under blood-gushing head stumps. Jennifer Tilly and Redman obviously enjoyed the concept enough to make fun of themselves to the extreme.

Okay, so I've sucked the movie off a little bit.....it is a piece of crap. A piece of crap that I give the highest possible rating I can give to something of it's nature. 5/10.

[Numbahs]

#68 - DODGEBALL: A TRUE UNDERDOG STORY

RELEASE DATE: JUNE 18th, 2004

A comedy that sounds great on paper, Dodgeball has a couple good sized laughs here or there but ultimately fails at being consistantly funny. Ben Stiller plays every character he's played in a previous movie with a slightly "bad guy-ish" twist in this film and remains totally unfunny. Vince Vaughn isn't really the Vince Vaughn I laugh at, since he's a good guy in this one.... The rest of the cast is just a silly mish-mash of stereotypical characters. A guy who thinks he's something he's not, a nerd, and a girl who is good at sports all reside in this picture. Knowing it's spotty comedy, Dodgeball ups the ante by supplying a "when in decline, show someone get hit with something hard" backup plan. To the casual movie-goer, this is a laugh riot. It just makes me roll my eyes and wish I was watching something that had gay jokes or toilet humor in it. Or better yet, gay toilet humor.

The movie isn't all bad, but considering most of the expectations placed with the thing, it isn't all that good either. I'll be waiting for that "now in development" sequel with no expectations at all.....aside from the one that prays for ESPN 9 "The Nueve" to make an appearance.

[zero]

What I wanna know is how you keep all this shit organized. Do you have like a text document you update with a new movie and its score? This is a huge undertaking, and entertaining to boot. You rock Numbahs... but you know this thread is gonna be longer than Ron Jeremy by the time you get through it all?

[Numbahs]

What I wanna know is how you keep all this shit organized.  Do you have like a text document you update with a new movie and its score?

←

[Guest Bluesman]

*sigh* No one appreciates the greatness that is Dodgeball quite like I do...

[zero]

I like the fact that you guys really have no clue what's coming next.  ^_^

←

Well I know the top five:

1. Sleepover

2. Scooby Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed

3. You Got Served

4. Fat Albert

5. Surviving Christmas

I know I'm close.