NWA:Total Nonstop Logic

[lafunky xxvii]

NWATNA was born in mid 2002, the brainchild of Jerry Jarrett. Many were sceptical as it began, thinking it would go the way of XWF. However, it defied the critics and made it through a rough first year. Now, as we move towards 2004, Jerry and the boys are looking to make a serious attempt at wrestling glory, and a battle with Goliath – Vincent K McMahon and the WWE boys.

Unfortunately, they are in no position to take on the ‘Big 1’ as things stand at the moment. They are quite obviously top of the Indies, but they need improvement to make the step up required.

But what is TNA’s problem? Maybe it’s the fact that they are trying to appeal only to just the casual fan. Every week they are trying to attract the new viewers; the ones that decide to pay $9.95 to see a taster of Total Nonstop Action. They are trying to build a fanbase, but forgetting about the regular viewers in the process. They have to realise that regular viewers don’t tune in every week to see constant shock moments, gimmick matches and one off stars. They want to see well thought out matches and developing storylines. At first it was great. The three ways between Low Ki, AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn wowed audiences. They loved being treated to gimmick matches and one of appearance. However things soon diminished. For every X Division classic, there was a bout with a NASCAR star. For every Ultimate X, there was the Dupp Cup. For every Super X tournament, there was the Hard 10 cup. For every AMW-XXX cage match, there was the Maximos versus the Flying Elvises. For every Gathering, there was an S.E.X. For every Raven debut, there was a Franchise cock-up. For every AJ Styles, there was a Dusty Rhodes. For every Jerry Lynn, there was a Glen Gilbertti. For every Jeff Jarrett, there was a Harris brother. For every Don Callis, there was a Vince Russo. And yes, for every Mike Tenay, there was a Don West.

That’s where I come in. I’d tell you about how and why I am involved in the revolution, but it’s TNA, so I don’t need to. When was the last time a storyline made sense? When was the last time things were thought through? When was the last time that TNA actually made sense? They don’t need a reason for anything, so neither do I. When things start to make sense, I will reveal all and everything will make sense.

And so it begins. How long will it last and how successful will it be? Your guess is as good as mine.

---

After a good few months of not knowing what to do, I have decided to bring my most successful diary back. Taking a page out of conniption's book I am going to post a few shows at a time to give people a chance to read/reread them (although I know they aren't nearly as epic as GBW). This thread will only be used to post old shows. I will create a new thread for the new ones soonish.

Edited January 5, 2005 by lafunkenstein

[lafunky xxvii]

Tying Up The Loose Ends

29/10 Recap

-Vampiro, with the help of Father James Mitchell and his latest follower, a behemoth of a man who has yet to named, defeated Raven in a bloody, ridiculously stipulated battle. Mitchell brought his monster down to the ring, which distracted Raven. They stood toe to toe in the ring, as Mitchell handed Vampiro a foreign object. When Raven turned round he was met with a deadly fireball, allowing Vampiro to pick up the victory over his foe.

-America's Most Wanted easily defeated Glen Gilbertti and David Young in a pointless bout, continuing their meaningless feud.

-Kid Kash defeated Abyss after hitting him with a loaded fist. Afterwards, Kid Kash managed to evade the attack of Abyss, which could hopefully mean their feuding is over.

-The security fought. Nobody cared about the result.

-Shane Douglas came out to the ring to announce his new Franchise protege. This brought out Michael Shane, who told Douglas there was no need to keep the people in suspence any longer, because the future Franchise was here. Douglas shocked everybody, revealing the man he had handpicked to take over his reign was Chris Sabin. This brought Sabin to the ring. He told the Franchise how honoured he was, however he couldn't accept, as he didn't want to live in anyone's shadow. The Franchise seemed shocked, but accepted Sabin's decision, offering his hand. Sabin accepted, but Douglas nailed him with a clothesline. Sabin got to his feet only to meet a Superkick from Shane. The two attackers embraced, and continued the assault on Sabin, which brought Sonjay Dutt to the ring for his X Division title shot. Unfortunately for Sonjay, he was unsuccessful after Shane distracted the ref, allowing Douglas to hit the Franchiser.

-In the main event, Jeff Jarrett awaited the arrival of Jimmy Hart's mystery client. The fans were shocked to see the man who would challenge the champ was none other than Brutsu Beefcake! The crowd roared with disapproval, as chants of 'who booked this shit?' rang through the entire match. After a short match, Jarrett was victorious, hitting the Stroke for the win.

That brings everything up to date. The next show will be the first with me in charge. Let me know when things get logical and I shall explain how I got here.

[lafunky xxvii]

5-11-03

Attendance - 3905

The show opens with highlights of last weeks main event, then Tenay and West discuss current TNA happenings and then go through the card.

0. Your World Champion

Jeff Jarrett makes his way down to the ring to kick of this week’s edition of Total Nonstop Acton. Strangely he stops at the top of the ramp, and soon it is clear why. Through the curtain comes Don Callis. Both men walk smugly into the ring, Callis holding the ropes open for Jarrett. Don grabs the stick. This should actually be pretty entertaining.

CALLIS – "Come on Nashville, give it up for YOUR world champion, Jeff Jarrett. (A chorus of boos echoes through the arena, and many ‘Triple J’ chants are heard). You people should be happy. You finally have a real man representing NWATNA, not like that AJ Styles. People call him phenominal, well you know what I call this man? TREMENDOUS! (More boos are heard). See, this is why I hate Nashville. You people don’t know talent when you see it. If this was Canada, well if this was Canada none of you would have webbed feet but, if this was Canada, we’d be on our feet applauding this man. He is the savoir of this company, the Chosen One if you will. (Boos). Now I could go on for hours about this man, but instead I will hand over to him. Take it away, Jeff.”

Before he can begin, he’s met with a chorus of boos.

JARRETT – “Shut the hell up! I don’t need your shit. That’s all I’ve had all week ‘Jeff why did you side with Callis?’ ‘Why did you turn your back on the fans?’ You wanna know why? Business. I know a good business decision when I see one, and when Mr Callis approached me about a business partnership, I could not reject. Then y’all have the nerve to ask my why I turned my back on you? You really want to know? It’s because you don’t matter. I don’t care about the fans, all I care about is winning. There aint a single guy in the back who can beat me…”

Jarrett’s egotistical speech is interrupted by the entrance of Ron Killings, drawing a big pop from the crowd.

80%

Don Callis gained overness from this segment.

1. Killings Calls Jarrett’s Bluff

The Truth walks down the ramp and round to the announcers desk, where he takes a microphone, then joins Jarrett and Callis in the ring.

KILLINGS - “Aint nobody who can beat you? Nobody who can beat you? Boy, you better watch that tongue or someone’s going to call you on it.”

JARRETT – “I aint scared of you, you rapping retard, so why don’t you step back through those ropes and go get rowdy somewhere else, boy.”

KILLINGS – “Haha, no actually I got a better idea. Since your big mouth is doing all the talking, why don’t you try and back it up for once. What’s say you and me have a match tonight, for that belt?

JARRETT – “Well you know I’d love to but…”

Jarrrett turns around then goes for Killings with the title belt, but the Truth is aware and ducks the oncoming attack. He plants some big rights, then whips Jarrett across the ring, following him in with a clothesline. Killings turns and sees Callis lining up a belt shot, who decides against it now that he’s been rumbled and ducks under the bottom rope.

JARRETT – “You want your match, boy, you got it. I’ll see you later tonight!”

78%

2. ‘Heavy D’ Takes Northcutt To School

Clash of the not-so-Titans, as Don Harris takes on Kevin Northcutt of the Red Shirt Security. The two go through their basic arsenal, before D takes advantage. He whips Northcutt into the ropes, and nails a huge size 16 boot to the face. D tries to finish his opponent off Hulkamania style, but there’s a kick out at 2. D, reeking charisma and something else that the crowd can’t quite put their finger on (it’s like a cross between machismo and shit), tells Northcutt to get to his feet. D looks to be going for another big boot, but as he backs against the ropes, somebody jumps the rails and pulls down the top rope. He’s wearing a red shirt. I assume he’s another goomba hired by Callis for his private security force. Northcutt and new guy do a number on Heavy D on the outside, which brings Erik Watts to the ring. He takes out both men, sending new guy over the guardrail. D has now taken Northcutt back into the ring, and sets him up for a one man H Bomb, connecting and picking up the win. Wow, this feud is spicier than a La Resistance-Dudley Boyz repetition!

'Heavy D' Don Harris bt Kevin Northcutt (49/40/59) DUD

3. Disco Sets A Final Challenge

Disco Gilbertti leads his more talented associates down to ringside. The three are due to team up tonight against America’s Most Wanted and D’Lo ‘Nothing planned for me’ Brown. He picks up the stick. Oh you know this is going to be good.

DISCO – "Alright Harris, Strom, tonight I have one final challenge for you. Now in the past couple of weeks, I’ve put various barriers in your way, and well to be honest, you’ve proven yourselves to be worthy of a tag team title shot. Doesn’t mean you’re gunna get it though heh heh heh (Disco chuckles to himself, as S&S just look bemused). Tonight you have one final obstacle before you can get to the champs, yes, that’s right, Glen Gilbertti is going to single handedly win this 6 man tag and save your (points at S&S) tag team titles. So, America's Least Wanted (Glen chortles to himself at his superior witt), bring that WWE reject down here (forgetting that he himself is a WCW reject who twice lost to Jacqueline), and I’ll show you how a real man takes care of business."

80%

4. Disco Fever Stopped Dead In It’s Tracks

An average at best 6 man tag, in what on paper would have been a very good 2 on 3 handicap match. Unfortunately for the fans, Disco Glen decided that he would take most the responsibility for his team, and wrestle virtually the entire match. Eventually Disco made a tag out, and S&S managed to isolate Harris. Simon was just about to finish him off and defy AMW of the tag title shot, signalling for the Problem Solver, when Disco Glen slapped him on the back, forcing the tag. He decided that he would be the man to finish Harris off, as he casually went for the Last Dance. Wildcat had other ideas. Grabbing his second wind, he reversed Disco’s stunner attempt into a back suplex, then made the tag to Cowboy James Storm. Storm came in, bucking like a bronco, cleaning house faster than a British sprinter on ‘roids. He knock both Simon and Swinger off the apron, the AMW gave Disco Glen the Death Penalty for the win. After the match, S&S looked mighty pissed at Gilbertti.

America's Most Wanted and D'Lo Brown bt Glen Gilbertti, Simon and Swinger (64/62/67) *

5. Ladies And Gentlemen, Boys And Girls, Children Of All Ages...

We come back from our short commercial break to find BG James standing in the ring. Joining him inside the squared circle are two brown, leather Barcaloungers, a cool box and a beautiful red carpet. James has a microphone in hand, and looks ready to reveal what is going on.

JAMES – "Welcome one and all to Total Nonstop Action’s latest edition. Yes that’s right kiddies, the boss man has given ‘B Jizzle’ his own interview slot. So here it is ladies and germs. Feast your eyes on ‘B Jizzle Intervizzle’. Each week, or whenever I feel like it, I will bring you indepth interviews with your favourite TNA stars. And if that doesn’t float your boat, then it’s always a chance to see the one and only, yes that’s right, I’m talking about me, the B-G-Double Izzle, BG James. Now, before we start, I’ll give you the tour of the set."

James stops, hand on brow and starts looking around his set.

JAMES – "Well that’s about it, oh yeah, I almost forgot the best part, my very own customised B-G-Boy chair. I had my boy Konnan hook me up with this one. Anyway, without further ado, let me introduce my first guest. This man has caused a sensation in TNA since his arrival, taking on all comers and showing us that the next generation of fans will be in good hands. I’m proud to introduce to you, CM PUNK!"

CM Punk comes through the curtain to a rousing reception from the Nashville crowd. He slaps a few hands and then stomps his way up the steal steps. Punk walks along the apron and enters the ring, not before wiping his feet, which draws a smile from James.

JAMES – "Well Punk, it’s a pleasure to have you on my show."

PUNK – "Thanks for inviting me, BG."

JAMES – "Well lets get this thing going then, take a seat."

The two take their seats. BG motions for Punk to recline his chair, and the two men do in stereo, which brings a chuckle from the crowd.

JAMES – "So Punk…oh yeah, can’t start without refreshment. Punk [puts on a stereotypical English accent] be a good lad and throw me one of those beers, good chap.[/accent] Cheers boy, feel free to take one for yourself, oh yeah I forgot you don’t do that whole thing. Anyway, (James takes a sip of his beer) anyway Punk, you’ve caused quite a stir in TNA since joining our great company."

PUNK – "Why thank you."

JAMES – "Yeh, well, you’ve caused quite a stir, so when do you think you’ll finally pluck up the guts to challenge the great BG James to a match."

PUNK – "[chuckles] Well BG, I’m not sure I’m quite ready of that yet, but maybe somewhere down the line."

JAMES – "Oh, that sounds like fighting talk to me, heh. Well, you debuted fighting alongside one of TNA’s top and most mysterious stars, Raven? Tell us about that relationship."

PUNK – "What can I say, Raven has been more than just a mentor to me. He’s been more like a father figure, showing me how to better myself and become a better wrestler. I owe some much to him."

JAMES – "Man, that’s tight. I suppose that means you’re a tad peeved about last week’s attack by Father Jimmy Mitchell and his goons."

PUNK – "Peeved isn’t the word BG. When I think of what they did to Raven, my heart fills with a burning hatred. I’d just love to get my hands on that sinister bastard."

Punk is about to continue, when the arena fills with some spine chilling music, and Father Mitchell appears on the stage. He is not alone. He is leading the monster from last week down to the ring.

JAMES – "Well it looks like my second guest on ‘B Jizzle Intervizzle’ is Father Jimmy Mitchell. Welcome Jimmy."

MITCHELL – "That’s Father James Mitchell to you, you inbred hick."

JAMES – "Whoa whoa whoa, slow your roll there Jimmy. Now this is my show, so you better show me some respect or get the stepping."

This brings the monster into the equation. He moves in front of Mitchell and stares down James. Although the James is not swamped by him in height, he’s outweighed by what must be close to 100lbs.

JAMES – "Look here you fat piece of shizzle, you better step off before I make you."

James throws a right hand, but it does nothing. He tries a second, but the giant catches his fist, and nails a short arm clothesline. This brings Punk into the fray. He jumps off his lounger, with a big lariat attempt. This merely wobbles the man mountain. Punk bounces off the ropes and tries a crossbody, but as expected, he is caught in mid air. The monster swings him round and slams him through James’ barcalounger, breaking it in half. Mitchell cackles then beckons for his monster to leave. As they are walking back up the ramp, the camera pans back to the ring. Punk helps James to his feet, and the camera picks up on him saying ‘that bastard broke my chair!’

52%

Mitchell’s Monster gained overness from this segment.

6. Like Franchise, Like Son.

The past and future Franchises teamed up together for the first time to take on fan favourites, Sonjay Dutt and Chris Sabin. Shane had obviously been taught well as he immediately went through Douglas’ old ‘Heel Book of Tricks’ including an assisted abdominal stretch, which is on the verge of extinction. Michael Shane still comes out in his old attire, however it can’t be long before he dons the streamer lined boots. Sabin and Shane show some great chemistry, and Sonjay evens adapts well to carry Douglas through a good manhandling. Eventually Shane takes control of Sonjay, thanks mostly to Douglas pulling him to the outside and running him into the ringpost. Shane gives Dutt a body slam, then goes up to the top rope. He tries a HBKesque elbow drop, but Dutt manages to roll out of the way and make the tag to Sabin. Huge enziguri kick to the side of Shane’s head. He knocks Douglas off the apron, which leads to Sonjay charging over and corkscrew diving onto him. Sabin goes for the Future Shock, but Shane reverses down the back, then spins him round, going for a powerbomb like move. He lifts Sabin up, only to be flipped over via a sudden hurricanrana. Sabin goes for the cover, but Douglas interrupts the count by pulling the ref to the outside. Sabin argues with the official about the count, which allows Douglas to through Shane a steel chain. He wraps it around his knuckles and clocks Sabin right in the jaw. Sabin then groggily turns around into a Superkick, as the Franchises pick up the victory. Douglas raises the arm of Shane triumphantly, which allows Sonjay to help Sabin to his feet. The Franchises turn around, and are met with a pair of dropkicks, sending them through the ropes! Douglas and Shane angrily retreat up the ramp as Sabin and Dutt taunt them.

Michael Shane and Shane Douglas bt Sonjay Dutt and Chris Sabin (62/51/74) *1/2

7. The Fallen Star Lies In Wait

It’s time for our main event, but instead of the camera going live to our ring, they instead find themselves inside the locker room of one AJ Styles. The former champ is in his street gear, eyes focused on the screen. He must feel that he is the number one contender to whoever wins tonight’s match.

74%

Main Event - Jarrett Avoids A Killing

After an earlier incident, the show closed with Jeff Jarrettp defending his NWA World title against Ron Killings. Jarrett was once again accompanied to the ring by Don Callis, which can't be good for the rest of TNA. Jarrett's underhanded heel tactics went unpunished as the official was often trying to deal with the devious Callis. Killings took the upperhand after Jarrett exposed the top turnbuckle. He tried to whip Killings across the ring, but Killings reversed, and gave Jarrett a vicious spinebuster. He held onto Jarrett's legs then slingshotted him onto the exposed turnbuckle! Jarrett got busted wide open from the impact. Callis, sensing a turn in the tide, jumped up onto the apron, but Killings threw him inside the ring with the old rope pull routine. Killings lifted Callis up into a Gorilla Press position, and it looked like he was going to slam Callis, until Jarrett chopblocked him from behind. Killings hit the ground clutching his knee, as Callis was helped out the ring. Jarrett went back to The Truth, locking him in his former patented Figure Four Leglock. Killings struggled to reach the ropes, but couldn't quite make it. Somehow, Killings managed to roll Jarrett over, reversing the hold and putting the pressure on Jarrett, forcing him to break the hold. Jarrett went for a lariat, but Killings ducked. Suplex to Jarrett. Discus clothesline to Jarrett. Killings is on a roll. Jarrett gets set up for a sitout front suplex, but Callis has seen enough. He slides a chair into the ring, and then jumps onto the apron, distracting the ref. Killings sees this very early, and hits a big right hand. The Truth turns round, but it's straight into a chair shot from Jarrett. The ref saw it and he calls for the bell. Killings gets the DQ victory.

Ron Killings bt Jeff Jarrett by Disqualification (80/81/80) **3/4

Ron Killings gained overness from this segment. The NWA World title gained image from this segment.

Jarrett and Callis walk back up the ramp as Killings celebrates his victory inside the ring.

-End Show-

CQ - 69%

TV - 0.26

[TGC]

I get a chance to get back into this, with the future holding new shows. Nice. I was in on this late the first time, which seems to be my lot in life, but I'm in on the ground floor for V2.0

I can't wait to read it all again, and then move forward.

TGC

[lafunky xxvii]

12-11-03

Attendance - 3659

0. An Xciting Opener

The opening encounter was a perfect example of what fans love about TNA. They took four random guys and put them together in a tag team match just so that they can show off what they can do. The match also see the debuts of John Walters and Alex Shelley and the returns of Elix Skipper and Jason Cross. Cross shows us what we missed after he seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth with some high flying combos. Shelley as impresses the fans with the arsenal that made him a household name on the East coast. Skipper looks a tad off, which is unfortunate, but a solid performance from Walters carries that. With the mutual cancellation of Xplosion, this will probably be the only chance for fans to see new talent. Walters demonstrates nice heel psychology as he eventually wins the match for his team, forcing Cross to submit to a modified Boston crab. Good solid start to the show.

Elix Skipper and John Walters bt Alex Shelley and Jason Cross (55/41/69) ¾*

1. “That belt is mine!”

As promised, ‘Phenominel’ AJ Styles is making his way to the ring, and apparently he has a few things to get off his chest. The timekeeper slides in a microphone and AJ starts to rant.

STYLES – ”Two weeks ago, in this very ring, I was beaten by Jeff Jarrett. I’m not going to make excuses. I was in the match, and I saw the footage after, and I know he hit me with the belt. I could cry and moan all I want about how I was robbed or screwed, but what good would it do? At the end of the day, I lost. However Jeff, you have not seen the last of AJ Styles, and I will be getting that belt back. That belt is mine! See Jeff, I noticed that you aren’t booked in a match tonight, so why don’t you show everyone that you’re a real fighting champion and give me my rematch tonight!”

As AJ waits for the response to his challenge, some different music hits and out comes Don Callis.

CALLIS – “Sorry to disappoint you my boy, but Jeff isn’t in the house tonight. I thought he deserved the night off after such a hectic past few weeks, ya don’t know how much being a fighting champion can take out of you. But even if he was here, I think you’re jumping the gun a bit, I mean you’re challenging the champion on the back of a zero and one losing streak? Sorry junior, I just don’t think you’re championship material yet. However, I am a fair man, so I will give you a chance to prove your worth. Now what sort of match would draw the highest ratings? Hmmm I wonder. Haha, I’ve got a great idea. You can take on these men.”

From behind Callis comes Kevin Northcutt and the new goon, a man Tenay and West are calling Brandon Gage.

CALLIS – ”Now since you won’t find anyone who’ll cross the boss, I guess that makes tonight’s main event a HANDICAP match, hahaha. See you later, junior.”

Callis and the boys leave, with tonight’s main event set, and the odds firmly stacked against Styles.

73%

2. Can’t Win With Them, Can’t Win Without Them

In somewhat of a nothing match, the ‘Ace in the Hole’ Sonny Siaki, lead down to the ring by Trinity (who is looking HAWT tonight) will take on Julio Dinero of the Gathering. Speaking of the Gathering, no word yet when exactly Raven will be back in action. Apparently, sources backstage have said that he will be back before the end of the year. Wow, what a scoop there. Tenay and West, who don’t seem to care too much, go over the Gathering’s ongoing feud with Mitchell and Co. then discuss Siaki’s recent troubles with Trinity. Siaki dominates much of the match, using his size advantage and some basic power moves to beat down Julio. Siaki goes for his Siakolypse Now, but Julio rolls through the pumphandle. Trinity, seeing that her man is in trouble, jumps onto the apron. Julio applies a waistlock, and runs Siaki into Trinity, knocking him silly and her off the apron. Dinero rolls Siaki up and gets the 1-2-3. After the match, Siaki is sulking in the ring, when Trinity enters. He’s not a happy bunny that she cost him another match. He starts yelling at her, mouthing ‘what the hell did you do that for’. She tries to explain that she was only trying to help her man, but The Son is having none of it. He pushes her out of his way and leaves the ring. Women!

Julio Dinero bt Sonny Siaki w/Trinity (65/54/77) *3/4

Julio Dinero gained overness from this segment

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

3. B-Jizzle Intervizzle Gets Franchised

We come back to find BG James, sitting in his new Barcalounger, cool box by his side. That’s right viewers, it’s time for another edition of B-Jizzle Intervizzle. So lets hand over to our host, shall we.

JAMES – “Helllllllllllllo Nashville, and welcome to your favourite part of the show. No it’s not the close up of the TNA dancers, it’s B-Jizzle Intervizzle. As you may notice I have gotten myself a brand new chair, set me back a fair few greenbacks too, but nothings too expensive for all my fans out there in DirectTVland. Now before we start, I have some bad news for any 3LK fans. It seems that we’re down to 2LK, after Konnan flew the coop and signed a deal with the devil himself. (A few boos are heard from the crowd). Yeah I know, but on behalf of myself and Ron, I’d like to wish the fat fuck the best of luck! Course this means we will be holdin’ auditions for a new member of 3LK, but that’s another story for another day. So anyway, on with the intervizzle. Tonight’s guest is none other than the Franchise, Dean, oh sorry, I mean Shane Douglas.”

Douglas comes through the curtain, accompanied by his protégé ‘The New Franchise’ Michael Shane. Shane carries his X Division title over his shoulder, shining it as he goes.

JAMES – “Come on guys, we haven’t got all day. Shane please, take a seat, errr Michael, well er you can sit on Shane’s lap if you like, we’re all friends here. (Both men give James a deadly stare). Or not. So, down to business. Two weeks ago, you both attacked Chris Sabin after naming him as your new Franchise…”

DOUGLAS – “No, I did not name him my new Franchise, I named this man the new Franchise. There was never any doubt in my mind that this man right here has what it takes to fill my shoes.”

JAMES – ”[mumbles] Well I’m sure he can fill something of yours, dunno about boots.[/mumbles] Moving quickly on, I’ve seen Sabin, as have you both, and he’s mighty impressive in the ring. Now what exactly does he not have that this boy does?”

DOUGLAS – “Sabin is nothing in comparison to this man here, but not only that, Sabin is just not Franchise material. To be the Franchise you have to do what it takes to win, whatever the consequences. It’s all about looking out for number 1. You don’t need friends or allies. I never needed anyone. I did it all on my own, and look what I accomplished. And Sabin, you’ll never get close to that, not in your wildest dreams. You think you can cut it in TNA? You think you can beat this man? You haven’t got a hope in hell, boy. Soon boy, soon you will know, like many other before you, what it’s like to FRANCHISED!”

JAMES – ”Well folks, that’s all we’ve got time for this week. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a match with that big ole barrel of shizzle.”

4. Victim #1

BG James watches the ring crew clear his set then eagerly awaits his opponent. He is not disappointed as sure enough, Father James leads out his monster. The crowd are almost silent at his arrival, not really knowing what to make of him. Mitchell says something to the behemoth, then leaves to join Tenay and West at the announce table. Apparently the monster’s name is Gacy. James throws caution to the wind, going straight for Gacy before the bell. He tries some big rights, but the monster doesn’t even flinch. James tries whipping him into the ropes, but it’s reversed. Gacy goes for a sluggish clothesline, but James ducks under. He comes back with a flying forearm, but the big man merely wobbles. James tries his Shake, Rattle and Roll, but as he’s jigging around, Gacy levels him with a club like fist. He whips James into the corner and follows in with a HUGE avalanche splash. BG staggers back to the centre of the ring. Gacy picks him up for a fireman’s carry, then drops to his knees, crushing the ribs of James. The giant covers James and gets an easy debut victory.

Gacy w/Father Mitchell bt BG James (63/52/75) *1/2

Gacy gained overness from this segment. BG James lost overness from this segment

5. Mitchell Unveils His Monster

Mitchell leaves the announce position to join Gacy in the ring, who is standing over the lifeless body of BG James. Mitchell stands next to his personal behemoth, who’s eyes do not stray from his victim.

MITCHELL – “Tonight, Nashville has witness just a mere taste of what is to come. We have declared war on TNA; apostle on it’s impurities. It’s a moral quest, as my dark army attempt to cleanse the cesspool of hate and sin. Battles are fought by those with the courage to believe, and we know that there are many more battles to fight before the war is won. Still we have not expelled the man that sickens me the the heart of my soul. Raven, thus far you have proved a worthy foe, but soon the fighting will take it’s toll on you, and that is when we will pounce, for there is only one of you, but there are many of us. We lurk in the shadows of society’s degeneration. We come from all corners of the world, with only one goal, one aim in mind; to help all those who follow, and to punish all who don’t believe. Raven, the pain you caused me is far greater than anything I would wish on my fellow man. However, it is your demons that will be lead you to your demise, and this man will help set you on your way. He is the cryptkeeper of our dark ministry. He is an unstoppable, unbreakable being, more myth than man. He will beat you within an inch of your life, and steal your soul. Mr James here is just the first of many victims, and the trail of the destruction will not end until I have vengeance.”

63%

Gacy gained overness from this segment

6. And The Tag Team Champions Are…

The fans stood in awe as the time came for the tag team title match. Could it be that the fans want to watch another classic battle between TNA’s two top teams, or perhaps that this match could mean the end to their (way to) long running feud. Simon and Swinger make their way down the ramp, followed sharply by the Disco Gilbertti. Cowboy and Wildcat are up next, charging down to the ring to get this contest going quickly. Where the hell did the name America’s Most Wanted come from anyway? The 4 men slug it out in the ring before the ref gets control and sends Harris and Simon to their corners. The match goes back and forth for around 12 minutes, with neither team taking the advantage. The tides turn when Diamond nails Harris with the Simon Series. He makes the cover, but Harris kicks out at 2. Tag to Swinger. They double team whip him into the ropes. He comes back straight into a double back bodydrop. Gilbertti senses victory and jumps onto the apron, and begins applauding Simon and Swinger. They don’t know what he is doing, and Swinger begins shouting at Gilbertti. Swinger turns round and goes for a suplex, but he gets small packaged by Harris. 1…2…3! Harris was playing possum! The distraction by Gilbertti cost S&S their titles. Harris and Storm are handed their belts and celebrate up the ramp. Gilbertti asks S&S ‘what happened?’ Simon and Swinger give each other a look, then laid Disco out with a couple of huge rights! They leave Disco lying in the centre of the ring, out cold.

America’s Most Wanted bt Simon and Swinger for the NWA Tag Team Titles (71/67/76) **

The NWA Tag Titles gained image

7. A Spiritual Proposition

Backstage, the camera finds down on his luck Vince Russo skulking in a corridor, head deep in a magazine which looks to be titled ‘Horoscope Today’. Into camera view comes Christopher Daniels, who it seems has some words of wisdom for Russo.

DANIELS – “What’s the matter Vince, looking for a bit of spiritual guidence.”

RUSSO – “You could say that Chris. Nothing’s going my way, I gawt nuttin’."

DANIELS – “Don’t overview things Vince. The answers are right in front of your face. Just open your eyes, and the path will become clear."

Daniels walks off, leaving Russo muttering to himself.

RUSSO – “Open my eyes, an da path will come clear, yeh.”

Russo drops his magazine and walks away from the camera looking slightly more at ease.

80%

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

Main Event – Two’s Company, Three’s A Crowd. So What Does That Make Four?

As we come back from the commerical break, Don Callis is bring his Red Security goons down to the ring. Kevin Northcutt and Brandon Gage step onto the stage. Well this is all TNA needs, the Harris Brothers Version 2. Hopefully their offence is slightly better than punch, kick, clothesline, H-Bomb. The heat for them is probably due to Callis being there, as he’s possibly the top heel in the company right now. They wait in the ring, ready for their handicap match. And sure enough, their opponent, AJ Styles comes through the curtain to a rousing reception. He doesn’t come down to the ring, just stands at the top, as if he’s waiting for someone. IT’S JERRY LYNN. What is he doing here?

CALLIS – “Wait, wait, wait, hold up a second, this is supposed to be a HANDICAP match. You can’t have a partner.”

STYLES – “Sorry Don, you’re wrong on this one. You said that I WOULDN’T find anyone who would cross the boss, not that I couldn’t. So Jerry has kindly volunteered to tag with me, and there’s nothing you can do about it!”

Lynn and Styles run down to the ring and begin their match with the Red Shirts. Much to the surprise of the crowd, these 4 men had an extremely good match. Callis couldn’t stay out of the encounter, interfering many time on behalf of his boys. Northcutt drags Styles over to his corner and makes the tag to Brandon Gage. Gage reminds me of Bull Buchanan, but with talent. He gives Styles some clubbing blows to the back, then kicks him square in the ribs. He lifts Styles by the neck and throws him into the corner. Gage bounces off the ropes and scrapes his boot right across the face of Styles. He tries for it a second time, but Styles moves his head. He gets back to his feet and you can hear the impact on his skull as Styles connects with an Enziguri. Northcutt comes into the ring, but is met halfway by Lynn. Kick to the gut of Northcutt. Cradle Piledriver! Gage meets a double clothesline. Styles runs towards the ropes and springboard off, over Gage catching him and then planting him with a Reverse DDT. AJ goes to the top rope. Spiral Tap! Styles goes to make the cover, but Callis comes in and interrupts the count. He turns to the crowd, taunting them, and forgetting the Lynn and Styles are standing behind him. Callis turns around. Kick to the gut. Styles sets him up. Styles Clash! Gage gets back to his feet. Another kick to the gut. Styles Clash to Gage. AJ makes the cover, and gets the 3 count. Lynn and Styles celebrate in the ring as another edition of Total Nonstop Action goes off the air.

AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn bt Kevin Northcutt and Brandon Gage (72/55/90) ***3/4

-End Show-

CQ - 70%

PPV - 0.22

[SeanDMan]

I was all over this diary last time, it was fucking solid. If you can keep it going, you'll have a monster on your hands.

Edited May 31, 2004 by SeanDMan

[caucasianheat]

I was a big fan of the original, and this should be no different. I'm looking forward to seeing some brand news shows, so I hope you can stick at it and make this one better than the first.

[TGC]

Yannow, I apologize for this beforehand, but I wondered the FIRST time, and I wonder now. How is is that a show on DirecTV, which is PPV as we all know, has a commerical break. What were they showing a commercial for? And why would paying customers stand for a commercial break?

TGC

[SeanDMan]

They're selling TNA merchandise.

WWE does it all the time.

[lafunky xxvii]

17-11-03

Attendance - 3905

0. Don’t Cross The Boss

The show opens with Don Callis coming down the ramp to the ring. Tenay and West highlight that this is probably due to last week when Styles and Lynn seemingly outsmarted him and teamed to beat the Red Skins, I mean Shirts. Now new fans to TNA may be expecting a WWEesque 20 minute promo. Don’t worry viewer, this is TNA. We don’t do 20 minute promos, and even if we did, Callis can actually cut them and keep people ENTERTAINED. You recognise that word Vince? It’s the one you stuck next to sports. I doubt many in Camp WWE use it anymore. Infact, your company name is irony at it’s base form. Well Callis is in the ring and ready to spew some literal glory, so lets have a butchers, shall we?

CALLIS – “I won’t waste my time out here, because frankly I hate you pathetic hicks as much as you dislike ‘readin’ them fancy non picture books’. Lynn, Styles, I hope you’re listening. Last week, you thought you’d outsmarted me. You thought by twisting my words that you got one up on me, but that was all part of my plan. I set that up so I could lure out the rats in the back. See in MY company you’re either with me, with the establishment, or you’re against me. I suspected there would be a few who would try and stand up and be heroes, but soon they’ll learn, they’ll learn my number one rule; don’t cross the boss! So what do we have in store for the two traitors tonight. [Callis looks down at his arm as if it’s a clipboard]. Well, tonight Jerry Lynn will take on Justin Credible. Not only that, but it’s going to be a No Disqualification match. And Mr Styles. You know that I’d love to stick you in a handicap match with a couple of giants and see you get dismantled, but I know that won’t draw. So tonight, Styles, you’ll be facing the Fallen Angel, Christopher Daniels. Have a good night fellas.”

Callis drops the mic and leaves with 2 of tonight’s matches set.

79%

Don Callis gained overness.

---

We cut backstage to find BG James and Ron Killings sitting at a table in their locker room. According to the sign they are ‘3LK Auditions’. Killings calls for the first applicant to enter. In comes some random white boy.

KILLINGS – "Hi there, can we help you?"

WHITEY – "Yeah, I’m here to apply for membership to 3LK."

KILLINGS – "Ok, well you see the deal with our group is that the 3 represent 3 ethnicities, 1 of each group, you know, like Noah’s Ark."

WHITEY – "So?"

KILLINGS – "Well problem is we already have a white guy – BG."

WHITEY – "I’m not white. I’m er Puerto Rican."

JAMES – "Puerto Rican? Dammit boy you aint no Puerto Rican, you’re whiter than an albino rabbit, now stop wastin’ our time and get out of our office."

The feed cuts back to ringside for the first match of the evening.

1. Another Soul Is Taken. Victim #2.

We come back from the short TNA Live promo video to find D’Lo Brown in the ring ready to kick off the show against the manster known only as Gacy. Sure enough we are not disappointed as Father James Mitchell makes his way through the curtain soon followed by Gacy. Mitchell leaves Gacy, taking his place on the outside of the ring as the behemoth steps over the top rope. D’Lo squares up to Gacy as the bell rings. The referee calls for a clean break, but as Gacy turns his back D’Lo attacks. D’Lo delivers some clubbing blows to the back of him, but Gacy does not flinch. He methodically turns around and tosses D’Lo by the throat into the corner. D’Lo comes back and goes for a dropkick, but it only staggers the big man. D’Lo bounces off the ropes and tried a big lariat, which knocks Gacy back into the ropes. D’Lo tries for the same again, but Gacy owns him with a HUGE clothesline off his own. Gacy runs up and gives Brown a big splash. D’Lo somehow makes it back to his feet after 400lbs crashing down on his ribs, but is quickly lifted up into a Fireman’s Carry by Gacy. He drops to his knees, crushing D’Lo’s ribs into Gacy’s massive shoulders. Gacy makes the cover – 1, 2, 3. Gacy picks up another win.

Gacy bt D’Lo Brown (58/52/64) ¾*

D’Lo Brown lost overness. Gacy gained overness.

2. Russo Has A Revelation

Christopher Daniels is getting ready in his locker room for his match later on in the night when in bursts Vince Russo.

RUSSO – "Hey Chris."

DANIELS – "Hey Vince, what can I do for you?"

RUSSO – "Well nothing really, I just wanted to thank you."

DANIELS – "For my advice? Think nothing of it…"

RUSSO – "Yeah, how did you…, anyway so right I was thinking about what you said and I bumped into Don Callis, and then it came to me, so I asked him if he’d give Ekmo and Legend a title shot and he said yeah. So well, I just came along to thank you and see if you had some more advice."

DANIELS – "Well Vince, perhaps you should consider broadening your alliances, adding a fresh edge to your organisation could bring good fortune."

RUSSO – "Really? Wow thanks Chris, and you know if ever I can do anything for you…"

DANIELS – "Think nothing of it Vince, just remember don’t over think, the answers are right in front of your face. Just open your eyes, and the path will become clear."

Russo walks off, looking satified as Daniels goes back to lacing his boots, with a rye smile appearing out of the corner of his mouth.

85%

Chris Daniels gained overness. Vince Russo gained overness.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

3. SWERVE~! Nah, Just Kidding. AMW Win Again.

As we heard in the previous segment, at the request of Vince Russo, Ekmo and Legend have been granted a tag team title shot against America’s Most Wanted. Maybe they didn’t want the shot, maybe they fancied another night off. I guess we’ll never know, because either way they’ve got the shot. Not a bad match surprisingly. Legend and Ekmo aren’t too bad, but they’re really absent of a look. Workers like Legend are a dime a dozen these days. Anyway, they give it their best shot, but we all know where the match is going. I won’t bore you with what happened, lets just say AMW nailed the Death Sentence on Ekmo. TNA seriously needs a real tag division.

America’s Most Wanted bt Legend and Ekmo (74/68/80) **1/2

---

Once again we cut back to the 3LK locker room where we see an interview already in progress.

JAMES – "Look man, I’m sorry but you’re just not what we’re lookin for."

The camera pans round and shows Abyss sitting opposite Killings and James.

ABYSS – "Arrrrrrgh."

KILLINGS – "You’re not exactly what we had in mind."

ABYSS – "Grrrrrr."

Abyss gets up from his chair and storms out the locker room.

KILLINGS – "Well he’s the best so far."

JAMES – "Heh, I know. Anyway bro I gotta jet, it’s intervizzle time."

BG gets up from his seat and leaves the room.

4. Today’s Topic - ‘My Women Keeps Costing Me Matches’

Yes ladles and jellyspoons, it’s everybody’s favourite portion of the show. I don’t need a narrative introduction you all know the drill by now. Lets join BG James in his barcalounger

JAMES – “Gooooooooood morning TNA and welcome once again to B-J to the Izzle Intervizzle. I as always am your host, the one and only, BG James, but before we begin I would like to make it clear that the opportunity to join the hottest stable in the world today is still open, I mean you’ve seen what we’ve had tonight, and it aint nothin’ special. Anyway on with the show, and tonight’s guests are none other than TNA’s hottest couple. No I’m not talking about Shane Douglas and Michael Shane, my guests tonight are Sonny Siaki and the lovely Trinity!”

Siaki comes out to the ring, stomping down the ramp followed by Trinity, who struggles to keep up. Both get on the apron and Trinity expects Siaki to hold the ropes open for her, but he just steps inside. Trinity stands annoyed on the apron until James leaves his chair and holds them open. James turns around to find Siaki already making himself at home in James’ B-G-Boy.

JAMES – “What in the hizzle to you think you’re doing?”

SIAKI – “What?”

JAMES – “Boy you better be getting out of my chair.”

Siaki reluctantly gets out of the chair and takes a seat in the other. James takes back his seat. Trinity waits for Siaki to move over, but he doesn’t even acknowledge her.

JAMES – “Is chivalry dead? Come over here sweetness, come sit with B-Jizzle.”

Trinity moves towards James and perches on his lap.

JAMES – “That’s better. Now Sonny in the past few weeks people including myself have noticed that you’ve been on a kinda of, well, you know, to be honest, oh hell you’ve been sucking more than a turbo powered vacuum.”

The audience chuckles at the expense of Siaki. He does not seem impressed, especially when he notices Trinity smirking.

SIAKI – “What are you laughing at ho, you’re the reason I’ve been losing all these matches!”

Trinity seems shocked and James uses this as an opportunity to probe further.

JAMES – “Oh come on Sonny, you can’t blame it all on her, I mean seriously, you’ve been sucking for two this past month or so.”

SIAKI – “I’m telling you, it’s all her. She interferes in my matches, steals my fans and she can’t even cut it in the sack!”

The crowd lets out a unanimous ‘oooh’ as Trinity’s face turn from annoyance to flat out hate.

JAMES – “Well Sonny they are some…interesting allegations. I’ve got an idea, we’ll put this one to the fans. So fans, why don’t you tell us who you think is the problem here.”

A united ‘Sonny sucks’ chant echoes through the arena, which brings a smile to the faces of James and especially Trinity.

SIAKI – “You people are wrong, it’s not me, it’s her, HER!”

The chants continues and seems to be getting louder and louder the more Siaki fights it.

SIAKI – “Shut up! All of you, shut up! I am the ‘Ace in the Hole’, I’m Sonny Siaki! This is your doing, bitch! You’ve turned me into a joke!”

Siaki has lost it! He jumps out of his chair and grabs Trinity by the throat. He is about to continue the assault when Super Bon Bon blazes through the arena.

69%

5. Not So Dastardly Danny Doring

Danny Doring comes out onto the stage and runs down to the ring. He slides inside and pulls Siaki off Trinity, throwing him to the ground.

DORING – “Hey Son, did you’re mother teach you it aint nice to put your hands on a woman?”

SIAKI – “Stay out of this Doring, this doesn’t concern you, it’s between me and that whore.”

DORING – “Sorry Sonny, I’m afraid I can’t do that. You see where I come from we treat our woman with respect, especially a woman as fine as this one. [Doring stares into the eyes of Trinity, which draws an embarrassed smile]. So boy, you’d better step off.”

SIAKI – “Or what?”

DORING – “Or I’m going to make you. Wanna try me?”

Siaki seems to have turned down the challenge of Doring, but as his back is turned Siaki tries to attack. He nails Doring a few times then whips him across the ring. Siaki goes for a clothesline, but Doring ducks underneath, spins him round and nails the Bareback. Doring and Trinity leave the ring together as Siaki is sprawled out on the mat.

73%

Danny Doring’s turn was complete. He’s now a face. Danny Doring gained overness from this turn and segment. Sonny Siaki gained overness.

6. An Old Rivalry Revisited

Not just the coolest, not just the best, but Justin Credible makes his way out to ringside for his No DQ match with Jerry Lynn. It’s believed that the new faces backstage are quite high on Credible. We should expect Credible to be challenging for the belt soon, but don’t be surprised to see him in and around the upper midcard scene. Lynn comes back to a good pop from the crowd, and the fight begins on the ramp. Credible and Lynn battle away on the outside using a few weapons, before Credible whips Lynn into the steps and gains the advantage. They go through some old ECW sequences in the ring, including the classic ‘Credible rope flip to clothesline’. Jerry takes back the advantage, using legdropping Credible face first onto a chair. He makes the cover but only gets a two on the now bloodied Credible. Lynn lifts Credible back to his feet and delivers a smooth backbreaker. He goes up onto the second rope, but Credible gets his second wind and knocks him back to the floor. Shoulders to the gut by Credible. He lifts Lynn up and sits him onto the top rope. Credible tries to climb, but he gets knocked off the top. He groggily gets back to his feet and pulled in by Lynn. Tornado DDT! Jerry makes the cover. 1, 2, 3. Chalk one up for the good guys. Lynn jumps up onto the corner and salutes the fans. Suddenly from behind he gets nailed with a chair. It’s Simon Diamond. Where the hell did he come from? Lynn gets up again only to be met with a second chair shot, this time right into a his skull. Lynn is left in a crumpled heap. I guess that’s 1-1 then.

Jerry Lynn bt Justin Credible (72/67/78) **1/4

---

For the third time tonight the camera’s find themselves at 3LK HQ. James and Killings are looking tired and fairly disgruntled.

JAMES – "Do you think we’ll ever find someone to make 2 into 3."

KILLINGS – "I dunno bro, but right now 2LK has a nice ring to it."

JAMES – "Heh, well lets see what we got, who’s next?"

Suprisingly the next man to try out is Shark Boy.

JAMES – "Well at least he’s different and I don’t think there’s much chance we’ll get another shark tryin to join."

KILLINGS – "Ok Shark Boy, you’ve passed the first test. Second test, charisma. Now me and my boy here are both very entertaining individuals, and always the life of the party. Why don’t you show us some of your stuff?"

Shark Boy gets up and starts running around the room with his hand on his hand on his head like a fin and humming the theme tune from Jaws. Killings doesn’t look too impressed, but looks over at James who can’t keep the smile off his face.

JAMES – "Hey, the kids’ pretty good."

KILLINGS – "Ok, ok, you may’ve passed that test, but there’s one more to come. Now after a hard days wrasslin, we like to let our hair down and partay. Now in order to party with us, you gotta be able to dance. So why don’t you bust out a move for us?"

Shark Boy shrugs his shoulders and begins to dance. Shark Boy’s dancing can only be described as the ‘Running Man’ fused with various shark like moves.

KILLINGS – "[chuckling] Ok, ok man, that’s good enough. We’ll be in touch."

Shark Boy gets up and leaves the 3LK members laughing to themselves as we go to the break.

-COMMERCIAL BREAK-

7. Victim #3

As we come back, Tenay reports that there was some sort of ruckus during the break. The feed cuts to a video showing Julio Dinero standing in a darkened corridor, but then he’s suddenly attacked from behind. All that can be seen and heard is the clunk of a shovel against his skull. The camera zooms out to see Sinn, Slash and the monster Gacy standing over the fallen Dinero before Mitchell takes the spotlight.

“Haha, the war has begun. Victims number 1, 2 and 3 down, many more still to come. We shall not rest until TNA is has seen the light of our black church. Your time shall be soon, Raven.”

Slash, Sinn, Gacy and Mitchell leave the downed Dinero as we cut back to ringside.

45% (Ouch)

Main Event – Daniels and Styles Put On A Classic

Fan-fucking-tastic. That’s all that can be said about this match. These guys were fucking awesome. It’s amazing that they haven’t been put in some sort of angle together before now because the chemistry they showed will rival any match you’ll see all year. They went for around 15 minutes, just back and forth, back and forth, the crowd on the edge of their seats throughout. Daniels takes control with a superb STO. He makes the cover, but only gets a two count. Daniels looks to capitalise quickly via a double jump moonsault, but Styles rolls out of the way. Styles waits for Daniels to get back up then asai moonsaults off the middle rope. He flips over Daniels and catches him, the plants him with a reverse DDT. Styles takes a breather and allows the Fallen Angel to get back to a vertical base. He goes for a discus clothesline, but Daniels ducks and tags Styles with a back suplex. Legdrop by Daniels. He makes a cover but once again Styles gets a shoulder up, this time at 2 and a ½. Daniels whips Styles into the ropes. He comes back and Daniels leapfrogs him. He rolls backwards and tries the bodyscissors, but Styles catches him. Wheelbarrow suplex! Styles rolls back over Daniels. He pulls them both up to standing and looks like he’s going for an atomic drop, but instead nails the facebuster. Styles kips up to his feet and signals for the Styles Clash. He stalks the Fallen Angel, but is distracted as Jeff Jarrett runs down to ringside. He jumps onto the apron, but it met straight away by Styles. The distraction is enough though as Styles turns round straight into the Last Rites from Daniels. He covers and gets the 1, 2, 3. Jarrett and Daniels continue the assault on Styles, putting the boots to him. Jarrett picks him up and is about to deliver the Stroke, but Ron Killings runs down to make the save! His arrival causes the heels to scarper. The show ends as Killings helps Styles to his feet, neither man taking his eyes off the attackers.

Christopher Daniels bt AJ Styles (88/77/100) ****1/2

-End Show-

CQ - 72%

PPV - 0.22

[punky]

Yes!!!

Lafunk brings back his TNL diary and I'm lovin' it! I loved it the first time around and can't wait for some new shows.

[lafunky xxvii]

26-11-03

Attendance - 3627

0. Victim #4

TNA opens up this week with a grudge match you can always go to for a good solid open. At the moment the ongoing feud is seriously lacking direction, but with the addition of Gacy hopefully it will end solidly. Anyway, the opener is CM Punk and Julio Dinero taking on Sinn and Slash. Word in the back is that the fans are getting a bit sick of Punk’s bland gimmick. Hopefully this means that they’ll give him a chance to run as a singles competitor with the Straightedge gimmick. I use gimmick in the loosest sense, because as everyone knows, Punk is the real deal. After a period of dominance by the Dark Church (Dark > New), CM Punk takes back the advantage for his team and eventually finished the match by giving Sinn the Pepsi Plunge. After the match, Father James leads Gacy down to the ring. Punk stands tall in the ring as Gacy steps over the top rope. Gacy goes straight for Punk, but he ducks under the attack. Dropkick to Gacy, which sends him back into the ropes. Punk chances fate and goes for the jugular, whipping Gacy across the ring. He springboards off the middle rope, spinning in midair and clocking Gacy in the face with a HUGE forearm. Gacy gets knocked to the mat! Punk goes to the top rope as the giant begins to stir. He tries a moonsault, but Gacy catches him. He lifts Punk onto his shoulders, then drops down to his knees, driving his massive shoulders into Punk’s midsection. Gacy is about to continue his assault when the lights begin to flicker and suddenly Raven appears on the TNATron.

RAVEN – “Your time is coming, Mitchell. Time is drawing closer to the end. Not long now. Soon the final battle shall be fought and the war will be won, then I shall set my flock free. Quote the Raven, nevermore."

CM Punk and Julio Dinero bt Slash and Sinn (59/44/75) *1/2

---

We cut backstage for another broadcast from 2LK central and another round of interviews.

KILLINGS – “Next!”

The man who enters the room is none other than the Original Playa from the Himalayas, Sonjay Dutt.

JAMES – “Well this is slightly more interesting. So Sonjay, why do you think you would fit in well with the Truth and myself.”

DUTT – “Because I am everything you guys are lookin’ for. I have the skills, the looks and the charisma, what more could you want?”

JAMES – “Well you’re certainly right about that. Alright then Sonjay, you got any moves?”

DUTT – “Have I got any moves? I’m Sonjay Dutt, the original Playa from the Himalayas, of course I’ve got moves.”

Sonjay clears some room then gives the Kru some classic move busting. If you’re a CZW fan you know what I’m talking about.

KILLINGS – “Well I’m impressed. We’ll be in touch Sonjay.”

The two Kru members look at each other and smile as we go back to the ring.

1. Simon’s Got A Problem

Simon Diamond comes out for what the fans expect to be his announced match with Frankie Kazarian, but instead he snatches a mic from our ring announcer and slides under the bottom rope. Diamond is strangely not accompanied by Johnny Swinger, which could possibly signal a singles push for the former tag specialist. He stands tall in the centre of the ring, and we all know what’s coming next.

DIAMOND - “Simon’s got a problem!”

Diamond pauses before his impending rant, looking down his nose at the Nashville regulars, arrogantly.

DIAMOND - “Simon’s problem is with you, Jerry Lynn.”

This remark brings a mass chorus of boos from the TNA crowd, as he is one of the original TNA superstars.

DIAMOND – “Simon does care what you people. You are not on my level. I could go into why I am above you, but tonights about Simon, not you. So Jerry, I guess you’re wondering why I attacked you after your match last week. Well the answer is simple; I hate you! You have tormented me since the first day we met, ever since back in the days of good ‘ole E-C-Dubya, and I’m insulted by it Jerry. You know why? Because you don’t even give a damn. You don’t give a damn about you held me down. You spent your career doing the J-O-B. Everyone would rant and rave about how you were never given a chance; how you were just stuck under a mask and called Mr JL. You know what Jerry? I don’t give a shit. The truth is you deserved nothing. You are a washed up never-was. Those shots should’ve been mine. I could’ve taken that TV belt, but no, you had to have the shot. You knew that I would show you up. You knew I would succeed where you had so often failed, but you refused to accept it. Time and again you would beg Paul for ‘one more shot’ when everyone knew it should’ve been mine. Everyone knows if you’d stepped aside Simon Diamond would’ve saved ECW, but what’s done is done. Then your big break came Jerry. Vinnie Mac called you up and you got to the Promised Land: the WWF, and once again, you fucked up. You wasted your one shot at the big time. That should’ve been my chance, Jerry. If you’d stepped aside Simon would be in the WWE right now, but instead I’m stuck in this God-forsaken place; the place where the mediocre go to die!”

Simon throws the mic out of the ring, derobes and beckons for his opponent to make his way to the ring.

79%

Simon gained overness.

2. Simon Says ‘I Win’

Diamond does not have long to wait as the ‘Socal Sensation’ Frankie Kazarian makes his way to ringside, and he wastes no time, going straight for Simon. Eventually Diamond takes back the control, and insists on schooling the rookie with a variety of humiliating mat holds. Frankie eventually spins up from a waistlock into a sitting position, then rolls under Simon’s grasp into a hammerlock. He proceeds to embarrass Diamond, spinning over his body, slapping him around the head. The crowd is delighted at Kazarian’s antics, but Diamond seems less pleased. You can see the anger in his eyes as he goes back to work on Kazarian. Diamond seems to be trying to break the youngster in half with some savage blow and stretches. Close to the 9 minute mark, Diamond falls down the back of a suplex, spins Frankie round and kicks him in the gut. Cradle piledriver?! Diamond makes the cover and picks up the victory. I guess Diamond is really trying to get under Lynn’s skin.

Simon Diamond bt Frankie Kazarian (67/53/82) **1/4

-Advert for TNA Live-

3. The New Franchise Offers A Triple Chance

Lollipop is backstage with Michael Shane. Looks like we’re about to hear about his cunning plan to determine the next contender to his X-Division title. Strangely, the ‘New Franchise’ is alone, with Shane Douglas no where to be seen. Ah well, who honestly cares?

LOLLIPOP – “Michael, since last week’s show there has been much talk about the next challenger to the X-Division crown, with many feeling that Chris Sabin should once again get his shot. Now rumour has it that you have come up a plan to decide the number one contender. Would you care to tell us more?"

SHANE – “Yes Lollipop, I will, but first let me talk about Chris Sabin. I have heard so much talk about him over the past few weeks, and I’ve gotta ask why? He’s a loser, a nobody. Why isn’t Michael Shane on everyone’s lips? I mean I’m champion of the X-Division, the most sort after title in wrestling today, not to mention the ‘new Franchise’. You people should be praising me, not hailing Sabin. So onto my plan – the Triple Chance X Invitational. I have invited five of the world’s top wrestlers, and Chris Sabin, to compete for a shot at my title. This week those six men will compete in a battle royal. The first two men eliminated will be out of the tourney, with the final four competing in singles matches next week for a shot at the gold the following week in a triple threat match."

LOLLIPOP – “Wow Michael that sounds great, just one thing though, surely it’s a double chance since you only get two chances, not three.”

SHANE – “No, it’s a triple chance, you see…(he starts counting on his fingers), shut up!”

Shane leaves the interview area after being seemingly outwitted by Lollipop.

61%

4. X Marks The Spot

The first stage of Shane’s Triple Chance X Invitational begins with a battle royal. The participants are revealed in traditional style. First out to the ring is Sonjay Dutt. He is joined soon after by indy up and comer Alex Shelley. The two locks up and exchange various entertaining moves before Juventud Guerrera makes his return to TNA. Juvi tries to take advantage of his slightly fatigued opponents, but it doesn't work very well. In fact, the Juice is out of gas within a minute which allows an easy elimination for Shelley. Sonjay nails a beautiful flying headscissors before Chris Sabin makes his way to the ring. This brings some nice spots from the three, especially a double backdrop driver by Shelley. The fifth man out to the ring is B-Boy, making his first appearance in TNA. The management is apparently very high on the potential of B-Boy. Look for him to make a few more appearances in the future. He makes an impact straight away, eliminating Sonjay Dutt after a torture-rack neckbreaker combo. B-Boy and Shelley ganged up on Sabin, trying to force him over the top rope, but Sabin refused to lose and slipped back under the bottom rope. Eventually the final participant made his way to the ring. No one really knew who he was, it was just a guy in tight shorts and a mask with the letter 'X' on it. He came in and gave Shelley a smooth hurricanrana. X got straight back up and gave Sabin and B-Boy and double flipping dropkick. Shelley is launched over to top rope by X. He celebrates the elimination, but before long B-Boy attacks. He whips X into the ropes and swings with the clothesline, but X ducks. He comes springboards off the ropes and nails B-Boy with a back elbow. B-Boy is dazed and X quickly disposes of him over the top rope. It's down to X and Sabin. Right hand by Sabin. He goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but X blocks. The two exchange a variety of reversals, before X finds himself behind Sabin. He lifts him up for an atomic drop and dumps him over the top rope SNES style. X has won the first round of the Triple Chance X Invitational.

X won the Battle Royal (X, Sabin, B-Boy and Shelley advance) 59/45/73 *1/4

---

We go back to 2LK HQ to find James and Killings in the chairs, awaiting the next applicant. Strangely, in walks Glen Gilbertti.

JAMES – “*Sigh* What do you want Gilbertti?”

DISCO – “I’m here to try out for your group.”

KILLINGS – “Look Glen, you’re just not 3LK material. You erm well you, what’s the word I’m looking for?”

JAMES – “Suck.”

KILLINGS – “Yep. You suck.”

DISCO – “Oh come on, look, I’ll show you my moves.”

JAMES – “No no Glen, I’ve seen them, and frankly a no legged midget busts better moves than you. Now, out!”

Gilbertti goes to leave, but turns back. James just points towards the door as Gilbertti hangs his head and leaves.

5. The Return of Ki

We come back from the short advertisement and it’s Intervizzle time. It wasn’t a real advertisement, just a promo for Macho Man’s upcoming single ‘Be A Man’. Now normally we wouldn’t plug something so lacking in goodness, however he made us a deal we couldn’t refuse – if we promoted the CD then he promised to never, ever appear on TNA. Anyway, the ratings are rescued by the appearance of B-Jizzle, BG James.

JAMES – “Well hello once again, yes folks you know what time it is, so lets get crackalakin’ with B-Jizzle Intervizzle. This weeks guest is making his return to TNA after a pretty long absense. Please welcome the man who kicks so hard the Karate Kid crapped his pants, LOW KI!”

Through the curtain comes the face of intensity that is Low Ki. The crowd greet him as if he were their long lost millionaire uncle, and a large pop can be heard through the arena. Ki makes his way into the ring where he is greeted by James, who quickly makes a kung fu stance before offering Ki a seat.

JAMES – “It’s nice to see you back Ki.”

KI – “It feels good to be back.”

JAMES – “Well Ki, I won’t bore you by discussin’ you injury, cos I’m sure you don’t wanna talk about that, so I’ll ask what does Low Ki aim to achieve now that he’s back in TNA?”

KI – “Well, I want the same as everyone – titles. Everyone knows that you can only measure success by what you achieve, and in this business that means winning matches, and further down the line, gold.”

JAMES – “Ok, good answer, but how do you think you will fair against the big boys of TNA. There are some tough nuts here, even some that B-Jizzle wouldn’t cross.”

KI – “It’s not the size of the fighter, but the size of the fight he brings. I am not intimidated by the opponents TNA has to offer. As they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.”

JAMES – “One more question Ki, how the hell do you do that rollie kickie thing. I’ve been tryin’ to add it to the B Jizzle arsenal, but I just can’t do it.”

Ki laughs and is about to continue when the lights dim. Suddenly on the screen appears a Dragon’s head. It opens it’s jaws and out comes fire, engulfing the screen. Then the image disappears and the lights go back to normal.

JAMES – “Well I don’t know what the hell that was, but I’m afraid that’s all we have time for this week. Next week’s guest will be the newest member of the 3 Live Kru. Who that’ll be, you’ll just have to tune in and find out.”

79%

Low Ki gained overness. James gained overness.

6. The Good Guys Always Get The Girl

After a slightly less hectic Intervizzle than last week, we come to the match to deal with last weeks aftermath. It sees Danny Doring taking on Sonny Siaki. The viewer are treated to a video flashback showing what went down last week as Sonny Siaki makes his way to the ring. Out next comes Danny Doring, accompanied by Trinity, which doesn’t seem to please Siaki. He jumps down to the outside and the match begins with a fistfight on the ramp. The two men battle inside and outside the majority of the match, until Siaki tries to take the advantage with a chair, but Trinity comes from behind and steals it from him. Siaki spins around and begins to chase Trinity around the ring. She slides into the ring hides behind the referee. This allows Doring to come behind and nails Siaki with a bulldog. Doring tries to make the cover, but the ref is too busy getting Trinity out the ring. Doring argues with the ref, which allows Siaki to recover. He rolls Doring up in a schoolboy, with a handful of tights! The ref can’t see it and makes the count. Siaki is quick to leave the ring as Doring gets up and yells at the ref, before Trinity calms him down.

Sonny Siaki bt Danny Doring (82/76/88) ***1/2

7. Russo Gets His Fresh Edge

Backstage, Vince Russo is sitting in a comfy looking chair, behind a tatty looking desk. He is reading some papers before there is a knock at the door and The Naturals, Chase Stevens and Andy Douglas.

DOUGLAS – "Alright Russo, what do you want? Word in the locker room is that you wanted to see us."

RUSSO – "Hey guys, glad you got the message. I have a very exciting proposition for you."

STEVENS – "What is it Russo, and don’t take too long, we’re busy people."

RUSSO – "Yeh ok, well I was thinking this past week about something I heard and I have decided that my organisation needs a fresh start, and I am offering you the opportunity to become the first members of Russo Inc."

STEVENS – "Not interested."

The two go to leave, but Russo quickly jumps out his chair and stops them.

RUSSO – "Ok er, how about if I get you guys a title shot next week against America’s Most Wanted, what do you say?"

DOUGLAS – "Alright Russo, you got yourself a deal, but we’d better get us that title shot next week."

RUSSO – !Don’t worry about it guys, just leave it to me. The shot is as good as yours.!

The camera fades out as we go back to ringside for the main event.

51%

Vince Russo lost overness. Andy Douglas gained overness. Chase Stevens gained overness.

8. Holy Shit! A Clean Main Event

Another grudge match here which comes after last week’s main event. It pits AJ Styles and Ron Killings against Christopher Daniels and NWA World champ Jeff Jarrett. A pretty good match all round, however Siaki/Doring really gave this one a run for it’s money. The heel team spent most of the match isolating Killings, mainly on neck-related offence. It’s good to see them giving Killings another run for the top instead of sticking with the classic midcard racist gimmick. I think they forgot he is a former world champ. Eventually, Killings battles back and low blows Jarrett. He crawls across the ring and makes the diving tag to Styles. AJ comes in like the proverbial house of fire, knocking down Jarrett then Daniels before he can get into the ring. He whips Double J across the ring and takes him down with a huge powerslam. AJ sees Daniels recovering on the outside and turns his attention thusly. He charges at the ropes and dives over with a somersault plancha. Styles gets back to his feet as the crowd pop in appreciation. Back inside Jarrett and Killings go at it. Jarrett goes for a back suplex, but The Truth counters it into a crossbody. He tries to cover but only gets a two. Styles comes back into the ring. They both whip JJ into the ropes and gives him a double backbody drop. Killings gets pulled out the ring by Daniels and they begin brawling around the ring. Back inside Jarrett and Styles exchange clubbing blows. Jarrett goes for another, but Styles ducks behind. German suplex! Styles rolls through back to a vertical base. He plants Jarrett with his ‘backdrop to facebuster’ combo. Styles instead of making the cover grabs Jarrett’s legs. He ties them up and rolls over, locking in a Texas Cloverleaf. Jarrett is screaming in the centre of the ring, unable to make it to the ropes. He tries to hold on, but can’t and is forced to tap out. Styles and Killing win the match.

Styles and Killings bt Jarrett and Daniels (82/81/84) ***1/4

-End Show-

CQ – 71%

PPV – 0.22

[JStarr]

Once again we cut back to the 3LK locker room where we see an interview already in progress.

JAMES – "Look man, I’m sorry but you’re just not what we’re lookin for."

The camera pans round and shows Abyss sitting opposite Killings and James.

ABYSS – "Arrrrrrgh."

KILLINGS – "You’re not exactly what we had in mind."

ABYSS – "Grrrrrr."

Abyss gets up from his chair and storms out the locker room.

KILLINGS – "Well he’s the best so far."

JAMES – "Heh, I know. Anyway bro I gotta jet, it’s intervizzle time."

BG gets up from his seat and leaves the room.

There it is...possibly my favorite segment EVER on these boards...not really sure why it strikes me so damn funny...maybe it's the heart-stirring pleas for acceptance coming from Abyss.

Anyone who doesn't see it obviously doesn't speak Masked-Monsterese. I don't speak it either, per se, but I listen fluently.

[KRC]

Extremely glad to see this back. Was in my opinion your best diary and one of the better overall diaries on EWBIII. Hopefully when the new shows get up we'll see the same old "Lafunk goodness" we had last time.

[lafunky xxvii]

3-12-03

Attendance - 3621

1. Hail Sabin!

Tonights show kicks off with the B-Boy and Chris Sabin battling it out for a shot at the X-Division crown. The crowd gets behind Sabin straight away, and unfortunately there are very few B-Boy marks in the crowd. Luckily I’m one of them, and I’m routing for him. Unfortunately they’ve cut the lyrics from Real Muthafuckin’ G, but what can you do. B-Boy begins well with some trademark hard hitting offence, but the tides turn when he goes for a dropkick into the corner, but Sabin moves, sending B-Boy to the outside. Sabin nails the vaulting bodypress, then takes the fight to the inside. He starts using some fast paced offence to keep his opponent downed. Eventually he takes the victory with the Future Shock. After the match, Sabin jumps up on the corner to salute his fans, who continue to hail him. Suddenly, Michael Shane comes charging down the ramp. He waits for Sabin to turn around, then nails a huge Superkick, flooring the victor. Sabin will have a chance for revenge when he takes part in the triple threat match next week.

Chris Sabin bt B-Boy (59/45/88) **3/4

2. Gilbertti’s At Last Chance Saloon

Backstage, we see down on his luck Disco Gilbertti walking through some corridors backstage, before he turns a corner and we find out his desired destination. He walks through a door labelled ‘Don Callis’ and the camera follows. We find Don Callis sitting at a desk, either side of him are his goons, Northcutt and Gage.

CALLIS – “What can I do for you Glen?”

DISCO – “Well…”

CALLIS – “Hold on Glen (Callis starts talking on the phone.) Yeah I think we do some great business together. Tell you what, come along next week and we’ll discuss. Alright then, bye. (Callis hangs up). So what can I do for you Glen?”

DISCO – “Well, I just wanted a match tonight really. What you think?”

CALLIS – “Ok, why not, we’ve got some airtime to kill, who do you wanna face?”

DISCO – “Well how about a title shot?”

CALLIS – “Woah woah, easy Glen. I’m sorry but you’re just not up to that level yet.”

DISCO – “Well how about I replace Chris Daniels in the main event, I think I’m ready for that.”

CALLIS – “Did you see the main event last week Glen. Daniels was off the charts. There’s no way I’m taking him out. I’ll tell you what, you can have a match with CM Punk. If you win that then we’ll talk about something a bit more high profile. Ok?”

DISCO – “Thanks Don, you won’t regret this.”

Gilbertti leaves the room and pulls the door up behind him. He waits for it to close then says to himself ‘Yes! Glen Gilbertti’s back in the game”. The camera fades out to a short advert for TNAs DVDs.

77%

-ADVERT BREAK-

3. Gilbertti Gets A Taste Of The Pepsi Plunge

We come back to ringside to find CM Punk already in the ring, awaiting his opponent. Sure enough, Disco Gilbertti dances his way down to ringside, looking fairly confident about his upcoming bout. He must’ve not had enough time to get ready for the match, because he’s out here in his street clothes. Normally that would make a wrestler look badass, but oh no, this is Glen Gilbertti. He’s gone for the Randy Orton look, but with a leopard print shirt. The crowd taunt him with a ‘who wears that shit?’ chant, but he’s obviously too cool to hear. Finally he gets in the ring and starts the match. Gilbertti maintains some degree of control for the first minute or so, even working away at the arm of Punk, but he gets cocky and loses his grip on the match. Punk whips him into the ropes and levels him with a spinning forearm. Kick to the gut of Gilbertti. Double underhook backbreaker. Punk stalks his fallen opponent, who is clutching the small of his back. Gilbertti gets to his feet, only to be pulled between Punk’s legs. Pepsi Plunge! Punk makes the cover and that’s all she wrote. If you think the match report sounds a bit short, that’s exactly how long it was. Disco Gilbertti got the squash kicked out of him.

CM Punk bt Glen Gilbertti (64/64/80) **1/2

CM Punk gained overness. Glen Gilbertti lost overness.

4. That’s A Large Pepperoni With A Side Of Spiritual Advice

After the laughter ends, the live show feed goes backstage. We find Sonny Siaki over by the water cooler, quenching his thirst, but it seems he has a hankering for more than just a cool beverage as Christopher Daniels walks by.

SIAKI – “Hey Chris, you got a minute?”

DANIELS – “Sure Sonny. What can I do for you?”

SIAKI – “Well I need some wise words, and Russo told me you were the best man to see, so you got any for me?”

DANIELS – “Ahh Sonny, don’t worry my friend, the good times aren’t far away, maybe all you need is a new edge. The answers are right in front of your face. Just open your eyes, and the path will become clear."

SIAKI – “..a new edge, thanks Chris.”

Sonny turns his attention back to the water cooler as Daniels walks off, with a rye smile on his face.

74%

5. Mr. Xuberant, Xtravagant, Xtrodinary, Xciting, X-a-lotta

The crowd seems expectant and the show rolls round to its second X-Division bout of the evening. First man out is Alex Shelley who draws a bit of heat from the crowd, but not to much. How do you expect someone to get heat if the crowd don’t even know they’re supposed to be a heel? Next out is his opponent, X. No one really knows much about him. Why am I calling X as a male? It could be a girl, we don’t know yet. So it comes to the ring and the match begins. Unfortunately it doesn’t live up to the hype of previous X-Division encounter as the two just didn’t seem to gel. Unfortunately Shelley uncharacteristically botched a couple of spots, including slipping when he went for an Asai moonsault, which turned the crowd against him. Not the sort of heat they want him to be getting. X whipped Shelley into the ropes. Shelley leapfrogged and bounced against the opposite side. He went for a Thesz press, but X caught him. It ran Shelley into the corner and placed him on the top rope. It stepped onto the apron and climbed to the top rope. Spinning hurricanrana! X makes the cover and picks up the victory. Unsatisfying overall. Hopefully the final will be better.

X bt Alex Shelley (45/38/64) 1/2*

6. And The Newest Member of the Live Kru Is…

The crowd, still fairly subdued after the mediocre match that went before it. Don’t get me wrong, Shelley’s got amazing potential, but I think he needs a solid gimmick and maybe a slight in ring improvement if he’s going to make it in TNA. Anyway, the crwod erupts with anticipation as it’s B-Jizzle Intervizzle timizzle. This is fast becoming the only reason people actually watch TNA. I’ve heard reports round the net about fans just buying and tuning in for BJI then turning off. Ah well, whatever pays the piper. There is added excitement tonight as we will find out who the newest member of the Live Kru will be. Keep your fingers crossed Abyss.

Out to the ring comes BG James, and he is joined by Ron Killings. They walk down the ramp and takes their seats in the usual Intervizzle set. BG gets on the stick.

JAMES – “Naaasssshhhvvviiillllleeee are you ready for another B-Jizzle Intervizzzzzzlle?”

The crowd pop huge.

JAMES – “Yeah that’s what I thought. And this week is a very special Intervizzle because this week we will reveal the newest member of the Live Kru. Over the last few weeks we’ve had hundreds and hundreds of applicants, all hoping to be the next L-Ker; some good, some, some not so good. So, without further ado, let me introduce to you the newest member of the Live Kru, drum roll please (Killings starts banging the arms of his chair), the third member of the Live Kru…SHARK BOY!!”

The crowd cheer as Shark Boy comes running through the curtain and down to the ring. He slingshots into the squared circle where he and BG embrace. James raises Shark Boy’s arm in the air, but the chant of ‘Holy Shark’ is broken up by Killings halting the celebrations.

KILLINGS – “Hold up there, BG. Now I don’t mean to spoil the party, but he aint the newest member of the Live Kru. The newest member of the Live Kru is…SONJAY DUTT!!”

Sonjay Dutt dances across the stage then sprints down the ring. He slides in Billy Gunn style and high fives Killings. This time it’s BG’s turn to interrupt.

JAMES – “Woah, woah, woah, I don’t know what where gunna do here. I mean both of you can’t me in the Kru.”

Sonjay and Shark Boy look confused. James suddenly has a thought, and no, it didn’t hurt.

JAMES – “All righty then, I got me an idea of how we’re gunna do this. This time next week, we’re going to have a match. It’s going to be Shark Boy versus Sonjay Dutt, and the winner will be the newest member of the Live Kru. What you think?”

He points the microphone to the crowd who give the announcement a big cheer.

All four men raise their hands in the ring, with the question still remaining, who will join the Live Kru?

70%

Sonjay Dutt gained overness.

7. Not Natural Enough

After a short, well earned absence from TNA, America’s Most Wanted made their return facing the Naturals for the tag straps. Low and behold they did not disappoint. They are the hottest thing on the independent scene at the moment, drawing praise from much of the internet media. Lets just hope one of them doesn’t decide he’s too big for TNA and runs off to join the midcard hell at Vinny Mac Wrestling. The Naturals are lead out to the ring by their apparently new manager Vince Russo, although they don’t seem to care about his presence much. The match kicks off with Douglas and Storm. It doesn’t take long before AMW control the run of play, using their superior experience to work away at Stevens. He gives him a double spinebuster then Harris goes to the top rope. Flying elbowdrop! He makes the cover. Douglas tries to interfere but Storm cuts him off. AMW get the win. AMW hold there belts above their heads triumphantly, celebrating their first successful defence. What’s that? Two fans seemed to have jumped the guardrail and are coming in the ring. Wait, they aren’t fans. Holy shit! That’s Mafia and Mack! Da Hit Squad is in TNA! Storm and Harris get nailed from behind. Sitout powerbomb to Storm! Mafia grabs Harris and plants him with an Exploder suplex! Da Hit Squad have left the champions floored. They’ve certainly made an impact here tonight.

America’s Most Wanted bt The Naturals (60/50/85) **1/2

The NWA Tag Titles gained image.

8. Bah Gawd, It’s A Six Man Slobberknocker!

A very chaotic show comes to an end with the 6-man tag match. Tonight we’ve seen the semi finals of Michael Shane’s Triple Chance X Invitational, the possible new members of the Live Kru and the debut of Da Hit Squad. The evening finishes off with a 6-man tag match, pitting Ron Killings, AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn against Chris Daniels, Simon Diamond and Jeff Jarrett. The match goes back and forth, partners rotating giving each member an equal chance to wow the crowd. Jerry Lynn was characteristically on form tonight, showing that he’s still got what it takes to excite the fans, particularly with a flying DDT. If he keeps this up, he might earn himself a world title shot. The match, like most TNA main events, descends into anarchy. Diamond and Lynn start pummelling each other, moving slowly up the ramp whilst Daniels and Killings battle through the crowd. This leaves Styles and Jarrett going back at it in the ring. After a characteristic ref bump, Jarrett suplexes Styles down and goes outside for a chair. He slides it back into the ring, but as he crawls back inside, Styles legdrops him face first into it. Styles makes the cover, but the ref is still down. He holds on for an imaginery three then realises the count isn’t coming. He turns his attention to the fallen official, trying to revive him. He turns around straight into a chairshot! Jarrett smiles sadistically then drops the chair. He pulls the referee over, magically waking him then makes the cover. 1…2…kickout! Jarrett can’t believe it. He shouts at the ref before grabbing Styles by the leg. He tries to lock in the Figure Four, but Styles gets the inside cradle! He holds on and the ref makes the count! 1…2…3!! Styles has pinned Jarrett again.

Styles, Lynn and Killings bt Diamond, Jarrett and Daniels (72/76/86) ***1/4

-End Show-

CQ - 65%

PPV - 0.22

[lafunky xxvii]

10-12-03

Attendance - 3679

0. Callis Takes His Seat

After the opening credits roll, Don West and Mike Tenay welcome us to tonights show. They run through the card, and as usual West seems excited. Their bantering is halted by the unexpected arrival of Don Callis, lead down to the ring by his goons, Gage and Northcutt. They strut down to the ring, Callis, as usual, looking like the cat who got the cream. Gage and ‘Big Kev’ hold the ropes open for the boss. He demands a mic and the timekeeper complies.

CALLIS – “Hello Nashville, are we ready for another Don Callis masterpiece that is Total Nonstop Action? (Callis’ question is met with a barrage of jeers). That’s what I thought. Anyway, before the show gets under way, I’ve got some business that needs taking care of. West, get your ass up here.”

Don West looks slightly confuzzled, but he does as he told.

CALLIS – “Look Don, I know you’re a busy beaver, commentating on my show, but I have something I’d like to ask you about. Roll the footage boys.”

On the TNATron appears some footage of last weeks 6-man main event, and we can hear the commentary in the background. West, in the heat of the moment makes some comment about Callis being a no good sumbitch, or something along the lines. The footage ends and Callis turns back to West.

CALLIS – “Now Don, I’m a patient man, but frankly, your commentary is not crucial to the programme and I won’t stand for such impertinence from such a replaceable cog in the TNA machine. So Don, YOU’RE FIRED! Haha, go on Don, you’re no longer a TNA employee. Brendon, Kev, see that Mr West is removed from the building.”

Gage and Northcutt grabs West by the arms, but he shrugs them off and leaves the ring of his own accord. They follow him, making sure that he does indeed leave the building.

CALLIS – “Unfortunately, this leaves us in a bit of a mess for this weeks show, as we have no one to partner Mr Tenay, so I have decided that the man who will temporarily step in is ME!”

Callis drops the mic and takes his seat at ringside. Tenay looks thrilled.

82%

Don Callis gained overness.

1. Third Time’s A Charm

Callis familiarises himself with his surroundings. Tenay offers him some words of wisdom, but Callis responds with a ‘I’ve done this before, Mike’. Tenay doesn’t look to impressed with his new broadcast colleague, but Callis is oblivious to this. He sits back and is straight into the role, running through the card, cutting jokes, the whole shebang. The appearance of AJ Styles on the rampway dampens things though.

Styles makes his way to the ring in his street clothes. Take note Glen, that is how to look badass in non-wrestling gear. He walks up the steps and inside the squared circle, then catches the mic which flies towards him.

STYLES – “Don, since we’re sharing a bit of footage this week, why don’t you take a look at the big screen.”

Styles turns towards the video and onto our screen comes footage with the caption ‘2 Weeks Ago’ and shows AJ Styles locking in the Texas Cloverleaf on Jeff Jarrett and eventually him tapping out. Next up is another piece of captioned video, and this one reads ‘Last Week’. It shows Jarrett going for a Figure Four, but Styles reversing into an inside cradle for a three count.

STYLES – “Now that’s some interesting footage, don’t you think Don? That’s two weeks in a row that I’ve beaten your boy Jarrett. Now a few weeks back you said that I wasn’t good enough to face the champ. Well what do you think now? I’ve pinned him, I’ve made him tap. So I’m asking, no wait, I’m demanding I got my title shot tonight.”

Callis gets up from his commentary position with a mic.

CALLIS – “Well I’m sorry to burst your bubble AJ, but the champ isn’t scheduled to compete tonight, so you won’t be getting you shot tonight, but thanks anyway, maybe one day down the line, but not tonight.”

STYLES – “You see I thought you’d say something like that, so I got this. (Styles pulls out a bit of paper). This piece of paper here is from the powers that be and it states that the NWA World Title must be defended every 30 days or the champion shall be stripped. Now I know it’s been more than a month since his last defence, so failure to defend tonight will lead to him losing his title. So Don, what about my title shot tonight?”

Callis looks flustered by Styles’ threat. He stutters then composes himself before responding.

CALLIS – “Well AJ, I guess he will be competing tonight, but it won’t be against you. You’ve had your chances and you haven’t put asses in seats. However, I’ve got an adequate replacement. He’s one of TNAs up and coming stars, and his name is CM Punk. That’s right, it’ll be CM Punk versus Jeff Jarrett tonight for the NWA World Title. Oh, but don’t look down Styles, I’m a fair man and I’ll give you a chance to prove your worth, so next week you’ll face Abyss. But it won’t be a normal match, oh no, next week you’ll face Abyss in a STEEL CAGE MATCH!”

Callis chuckles to himself then sits back down at the commentary table. Styles eventually leaves the ring and walks to the back.

83%

2. Victims #5 and #6

We come back from the short recap of tonight’s events, mainly the signing of tonight’s main event. Already in the ring are Eric Young and Jonny Storm. Through the arena blares some dark, archaic music signals the arrival of the soultaker, Gacy, as always accompanied to ringside by Father Mitchell. Apparently it was Mitchell who requested this handicap match. Gacy steps over the top rope, and the bells rings. Storm and Young look at each other then charge towards the monster, but he catches them both around the throat. He throws them both into the corner, showing his massive strength. Young is the first man up, but he’s locked in an arm wringer then a short arm clothesline. Storm tries to attack by jumping on Gacy’s back, but he gets caught. The behemoth pulls Storm over his shoulder and drives him to the mat with a big Fire Thundah Driver. Gacy goes for the cover, but Young interrupts. He pounds away at the back of Gacy, but the big man doesn’t even flinch. Gacy slowly turns around and gives Young a sadistic smirk. He kicks Young in the stomach, then powerbombs him to the mat! Gacy bounces back against the ropes and delivers a big splash for the 1-2-3.

Gacy bt Jonny Storm and Eric Young (54/35/73) *

Jonny Storm lost overness

3. Once Upon A Video Dreary

After the match, Gacy and Mitchell are about to leave the ring, when the lights begin flicking spookily, then a figure appears on the video screen. It’s Raven!

RAVEN – “Gacy, Mitchell, your time draws ever closer. The time for repent is now, for soon your judgement day will arrive. James, you and I have a lot of history together, some good, some bad, but when this day arrives all shall be forgotten, for one man will stand tall and the other, the other shall begin his new live in the depths of the lost. Keyser Soze said the greatest trick that the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didnt exist. Well James, I exist and I'm going to be your own personal demon because this savior has already been crucified for your sins, crucified for the sins of my humanity, crucified for the sins of my compassion, crucified for the sins of my past, by the flesh of my flesh, and the blood of my blood. The day of reckoning is upon us. Soon the final battle will be fought and the war will be won, and after the smoke clears, I shall stand defiant. Quote the Raven, nevermore.”

Raven takes his characteristic pose then the screen fades into darkness. The camera focuses in on Mitchell, who stares at the screen, then signals for Gacy to leave the ringside area, following him up the ramp.

82%

4. Triple Chance X Invitational Finals

The first real contest of the evening rolls around and it’s the conclusion of Michael Shane’s Triple Chance X Invitational. The ‘new Franchise’ Michael Shane is first down lead down to the ring by the ex-Franchisor, Shane Douglas. Did I say that right? Shane holds the ropes open for Shane to step through, and Shane obliges. I could continue the double Shane theme, but I won’t because I’m not that much of a bastard. Next out is X, and we still don’t know who it is under the mask. There has been much speculation X’s identity, including many internet sources claiming it is TAFKA Pierre, but I don’t know about that. The final man out is Chris Sabin. He charges down to the ring and the triple threat begins. Tenay reminds the fans that the match will be fought to one fall, and therefore the champ does not have to be pinned. The three go back and forth. X hit a nice double flipping dropkick, sending both opponents to the outside, which lead to the inevitable suicide dives. Sabin got a nearfall back inside the ring after a victory roll, but Shane broke up the count. Shane had X set up on the top rope for a superplex, but Sabin ran up the ropes and sunset flip powerbombed Shane in what has become a trademark TNA spot. After more high-risk offence trading, Sabin takes control. He throws X to the outside and goes to work on his nemesis Michael Shane. He whips Shane into the ropes and nails a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He makes the cover, but only gets a 2. Sabin ascends the turnbuckle. He steadies himself, but gets crotched by X. X climbs up top with him, and positions himself behind Sabin. Spinning hurricanrana! He hooks the leg of Sabin. 1-2-no, Shane interrupts. Shane goes for a sluggish clothesline, but X ducks under and rolls Shane up! 1…2…Douglas pulls the referee out of the ring! Douglas looks pleased with himself on the outside of the ring, but turns round straight into a flipping plancha from X. Sabin eventually gets to his feet, but he’s dazed. He turns round straight into a superkick, no, he ducks and nails a superkick of his own on Shane. Sabin makes the cover. 1…2…Douglas pulls Sabin out of the ring this time. As Douglas and Sabin fight on the outside, X is climbing to the top turnbuckle. He stands atop and pulls his mask off. IT’S PAUL LONDON! London gets his balance then flies. Shooting Star Press! He connects and the ref counts! 1…2…3! Paul London has won the X-Division title! He is handed the belt and holds it triumphantly as the TNA fans cheer.

X (Paul London) bt Michael Shane and Chris Sabin to win the X-Division title (64/50/79) **

The X-Division title has gained image.

5. America’s Most Wanted Top Of The Hitlist

I’ve run out of clever introductions for this segment, so here it is, no gimmicks, it’s B-Jizzle Intervizzle. BG James is already in the ring awaiting the arrival of his guests for tonight, and he is not disappointed when Da Hit Squad walk through the curtain. Still relative unknowns in TNA, they made a huge impact last week, attacking the tag champs, America’s Most Wanted.

JAMES – “Well it looks like my guests have arrived. Mack, Mafia, it’s good to see you here tonight. Now my first question, why did you attack America’s Most Wanted last week?”

MAFIA – “Why did we attack them? You wanna know why? Because we can! We are the baddest muthas on the planet and we do what we like, when we like, got a problem with that?”

JAMES – “Err no, not really, but why America’s Most Wanted? Why not AJ Styles or Jeff Jarrett, or even BG James?”

MACK – “Because they have something we want – the tag team titles. We have come to TNA to show the nation that Da Hit Squad are the baddest men on planet. We don’t take shit from anyone, especially not you, boy!”

JAMES – “Now hold up there second, boy, I don’t care whether you are the baddest man on the planet or the fruitiest fairy at the club, nobody talks to BG James like that on his show, so I suggest you…”

Mafia snatches the mic away.

MAFIA – “And I suggest you shut up before we shut you up. Now all this is talk is cheap, lets do this like men. Next week we have a match, then we’ll see how tought you really are.”

JAMES – “Oh, it’s on like Agent Orange in Saigon!”

The 3 men exchange a staredown then leave.

61%

Mafia gained overness.

6. Who Will It Be?

The time comes for the most anticipated match in my TNAs short history. Yes fans, it’s time for Shark Boy versus Sonjay Dutt in a match with the highest of stakes; the winner will take his place in the Live Kru, and the loser will have nothing. Shark Boy and Sonjay Dutt come out to an equally rousing reception. The crowd has shown no favouritism towards either athlete. I think they’ll be happy whoever gets the place. As this is a match of epic proportions I’ll go a bit old skool and type it out PBP from about halfway. And we join the match already in progress. Sonjay and SB get back to their feet. SB swings, but Dutt ducks and looks to be going for a back suplex, but SB flips backwards over his head. Waistlock by SB. German suplex! SB holds on for the cover but only gets a two count. SB pulls Dutt back to his feet. He whips Dutt into the ropes but Dutt manages to reverse an attack into a flying headscissors, not wait, he’s turned it into a swinging DDT! What an awesome move by Dutt! He kips up to his feet and steps through the ropes. He waits for Shark Boy to get to his feet then springboards onto the top rope. He goes for a hurricanrana, but SB catches him. Sitout powerbomb by SB! He holds on, but Dutt kicks out at 2 and a half. SB gets up and applies a rear chinlock. He wrenches back but Sonjay gets fights back up to his feet. Dutt rolls around into a front headlock, then flips him over with a Northern Lights suplex. Sonjay decides not to hold on for the pin, but rolls back, pulling SB back to a vertical base. He lifts SB into the air and forces him onto the top rope. Sonjay climbs up with him. Sonjay pauses and SB capitalises, winding him. SB takes the advantage, and seems to be manoeuvring him on the top rope. Top rope Michinoku Driver!! SB makes the cover. 1…2…threNO, Sonjay managed to kick out. How the hell did he do that?! A ‘holy Shark’ chant breaks out through the arena, and it looks like SB has decided for a different approach for this match. He lifts Sonjay to his feet and applies a move with looks like a modified Tazmission. He’s trying to wear Sonjay down then finish him off. SB pulls tighter and tighter as Sonjay squirms in an attempt to escape. He can’t get out of the hold, and in a last ditch attempt he pulls SB towards the corner and kicks off the middle rope, flipping over. He’s turned it into a pinning predicament! SB can’t break the hold! Wait, the refs counting Sonjay’s shoulders down too! Neither man can break the pin! 1…2…3! The winner and new member of the Live Kru is no one? The two competitors stand confused in the ring. James and Killings comes down the ramp from the back and get into the ring.

JAMES – “Wow guys, you really fought a tough match, but unfortunately there can only be one winner, and that man is…”

Killings stops James and the two confer.

JAMES – “The newest member of the Live Kru is…”

James stops again and confers with Killings once more.

JAMES – “Ahh screw this shizzle, the newest members of the Live Kru are Shark Boy AND Sonjay Dutt! Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you NWA:TNA’s premiere stable, the FOUR LIVE KRU!!”

The crowd give the two men a standing ovation as all four stand in the ring and raise their arms.

Shark Boy drew with Sonjay Dutt (63/47/79) **

7. Meanwhile Backstage…

As we come back from the short advert for TNA’s top sponsor Nintendo. Maybe they are planning a game release. I’d mark for a TNA N64 game. Anyway, Tenay tells us that during the break there was some commotion backstage, but luckily our cameras got some footage of the incident.

We hear some loud noises then the cameraman charges towards the locker room. The door flies open and we see Sonny Siaki and David Young beating down Danny Doring. He is on the floor, clutching his ribs as Young and Siaki stomp away. Eventually a horde of officials enter the room and break up the ruckus. Siaki yells ‘that’ll teach you to mess with me, punk’ as he is dragged away. The camera zooms in on the fallen Doring and then cuts back to ringside.

57%

David Young gained overness.

8. He Get’s By With A Little Help From His Friends

Our show reaches it’s climax with a match made earlier tonight, which will see Jeff Jarrett defend his title against CM Punk. It’s great to see them giving Punk the ball, even if this may only be a one off match, it’s still a sign of the faith they have in him. He could probably use a title run, but TNA don’t seem to have one for him to win. Speaking of titles, there has been talk of TNA bringing in a hardcore title as something for the midcard to compete over. I wonder what the fans would think of that. Anyway, on to the match, which is dominated by Jarrett. He uses his experience and wily cunning to beat down the fan favourite, who gets a lot of underdog support. But Jarrett gets a little too cocky and lets his guard down. He comes off the top straight into a boot from Punk. Clothesline to the groggy Jarrett. Punk bounces off the ropes and nails a big spinning wheel kick. Punk gives Jarrett a Japanese armdrag then an underhook suplex. Punk kicks him in the gut and steps him up for a Pepsi Plunge, but Jarrett gives Punk a low blow. He goes for the Stroke, but Punk blocks with some elbows and sends him into the ropes. Underhook backbreaker to Jarrett. Callis has seen enough and steps up, waving towards the back. Sure enough out come Gage and Northcutt. They jump up on the apron, but get knocked down by Punk. Callis himself gets on the apron, only to be knocked down. Punk turns around but it’s straight into a Stroke. Jarrett makes the cover and gets the tainted win. After the match, the goons, Callis and Jarrett all start putting the boots to Punk. The crowd are unanimous in their disapproval, but hope appears in the form of AJ Styles charging to the ring. He slides in, but is met by the heels and his resistance is soon thwarted. The heels start celebrating their victory when suddenly another figure appears on the stage. IT’S RAVEN! Raven is met on the ramp by Gage and Northcutt, but he fights them off, sending them to ground. He jumps back inside the ring where he’s met by Jarrett. They exchange punches and then Jarrett goes to irish whip Raven, but he reverses, pulls Jarrett in and gives him an Evenflow DDT! Jarrett rolls to the outside and is helped to the back by Callis and the goons, whilst Raven stands defiant.

Jeff Jarrett bt CM Punk (78/73/83) ***

The NWA World Title gained image.

-End Show-

CQ - 68%

PPV - 0.20

[lafunky xxvii]

17-12-03

Attendance - 3418

0. Problem Not Quite Solved

After a brief promotional video building up this week’s main event between Abyss and AJ Styles, we begin our show. We open with a much more high profile bout than usual, as Jerry Lynn takes on Johnny Swinger. Apparently Jerry wanted a match with Diamond, but he claimed he couldn’t compete due to some sort of ‘back injury’. Either way, we’re sure to get a good opening to tonight’s show. Jerry comes out to the ring to a large pop from the crowd. He stands in the ring awaiting the arrival of his opponent, and sure enough out comes Swinger, but without Simon. The two start off nicely, with Lynn carrying most of the match, not surprisingly. Jerry comes back with some nice signature moves such as a sunset flip powerbomb off the top. Swinger uses some underhanded heel tactics and took back the momentum, but got cocky taunting the crowd which allowed Lynn to reverse a suplex attempt by dropping down the back and nailing a Cradle Piledriver for the win. Lynn celebrated his victory after the match, but the appearance of Simon Diamond spoiled the party. He jumped into the ring and nailed Lynn in the back with a steel chair! He and Swinger began stomping away then Diamond put Jerry’s knee inside the chair, and stomped down on it, attempting to injure his enemy. They tried again, but officials jumped in the ring and broke it up. Simon and Swinger left the ring looking pleased with themselves as Lynn was helped to the locker room.

Jerry Lynn bt Johnny Swinger (69/59/80) **1/4

1. Gilbertti The Unwanted

Backstage we see the Naturals and their manager Vince Russo are discussing tactics when they are suddenly interrupted by Glen Gilbertti.

DISCO – “Hey guys, word in the back is that you’re looking for a third man for your six man tag match tonight, well look no further ‘cos Glen Gilbertti is going to save the day!”

RUSSO – “Um well Glen, the thing is you’re not really what we’re looking for.”

DISCO – “Wh-what do you mean?”

RUSSO – “Well Russo Inc is about the cutting edge of wrestling, we’re looking for the new stars, you know, the next generation, like, like this guy.”

Russo sees John Walters walking past then grabs him.

RUSSO – “Hey John, how do you fancy teaming up with the Naturals tonight?”

WALTERS – “Sure.”

Gilbertti looks shocked.

GILBERTTI – “You picked him over me! But I’m Glen Gilbertti, I’m in my prime..”

WALTERS – “In your prime? Your not even a has-been, you’re a never-was.”

Walters, Russo and the Naturals walk off, leaving Gilbertti looking stunned. He’s got that ‘my dog just got run over’ look on his face. Poor Disco.

60%

John Walters gained overness.

2. Aces Are Wild

As we leave Disco to recover from his rejection we prepare for our next match, which pits Danny Doring and Roadkill against Sonny Siaki and David Young. Oh and of course, the ex-ECWers are accompanied to the ring by Trinity. Roadkill looks to have kept in quite good shape, seeing as he hasn’t been in a national wrestling promotion for a good while. Not a bad match, but nothing spectacular. Young proves once again why he is a fringe man in TNA, wowing the crowd with his mediocrity, however he did get the first near fall of the match with a spinebuster, but Doring broke up the count. Doring and Roadkill took us back in time and showed us what we missed when ECW closed down, giving Young and Siaki some of their trademark moves. They look to have won the match when they through Young out of the ring and isolated Siaki. After a flying splash-legdrop combo, they looked to be setting up Siaki for the Buggy Bag. One of the TNA girls got out of her cage and ran down to the ring. She knocked Trinity down which distracted the ref and Roadkill, who checked to see if she was ok. The TNA girl slid into the ring and gave Doring a Low Blow of Doom, which allowed Siaki to school boy him. Roadkill tried to break up the count, but Young pulls him to the outside, giving Siaki the easy 1-2-3. Siaki, Young and the mystery woman retreat up the ramp.

Sonny Siaki and David Young bt Danny Doring and Roadkill (65/56/75) *3/4

David Young gained overness.

3. Siaki’s New Lady Friend

As the heels reach a safe distance, they halt their running away and turn towards their foes. Siaki has a mic.

SIAKI – “Well I guess the time is right to introduce the new lady in my life. This is Traci.”

Siaki moves away and twirls her round like a doll in a music box.

SIAKI – “Take a look at that, now that’s a real woman, not like that cheap whore in the ring, Traci knows how to treat her man, and most of all she can knows how to satisfy a superstar.”

Siaki drops the mic and the three make their way through the curtain.

72%

Traci gained overness.

4. 6-Man Showcase

The newest members of the Live Kru were to make their debut in team colours, as Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt and Ron Killings took on the Russo threesome of the Naturals and John Walters. Although some fans are cringing at the use of Russo, it’s not a long-term thing apparently. He still had around a year of his contract remaining, so the bookers decided to team him with some new guys to get them over. Guys backstage are said to be very high on Walters and that the teaming of him with some young stars is a stepping stone to greater things. Lets hope so. Despite the lack of crowd reaction, the 6 men put on a solid bout, with each man getting their fair share of offence. The Naturals get a near fall after a nice Powerbomb-Clothesline combo. Sonjay and Shark Boy showed that they are fitting into the Kru perfectly with some good tandem offence, such as an old skool double atomic drop, then Shark Boy bit Douglas’ behind. Walters started to take control after giving Sonjay a dragon screw leg whip. He started stomping away at the knee of Sonjay, attempting to ground him. He put Dutt’s leg on the rope and jumped down on the joint. He makes the tag to Stevens who slingshots over the top rope and legdrops the injured knee. He goes for a figure four roll up, but Killings breaks up the count. This brings all six man into the ring and a mass brawl erupts. Killings reverses an attack by Douglas into his signiture sitout front suplex. Walters throws Killings to the outside, then nails a vaulting bodypress. This leaves Dutt, Stevens and Shark Boy in the ring. Dutt crawls over and makes a desperation tag to SB. Shark Boy comes in like a bowl of fire (get it, bowl, not house). He nails a back suplex then a swinging neckbreaker. He whips Stevens into the corner and climbs the turnbuckle. Diamond Dust! Shark Boy makes the cover and ends his Live Kru debut on a high.

Live Kru (Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt and Ron Killings) bt John Walters and the Naturals (60/48/73) *1/4

5. The New X-Dizzle Champion Speaks

After seeing his Live Kru brothers triumph in their debut match, B-Jizzle BG James comes down to the ring. He slaps hands with the fans before climbing the steps, wiping his feet and entering the Intervizzle set. He gets himself comfortable in the lounger before Paul London makes his way to the ring.

JAMES – “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome my guest on the Intervizzle this week, our new X-Division champion, Paul London!”

London gets a fairly big pop from the crowd. Footage of how he won the title is shown, including him unmasking then nailing the SSP.

JAMES – “Well Paul, that was an impressive win last week. How did it feel to win the X-Division title?”

LONDON – “Well to be honest BG, it didn’t really sink in till the day after when I woke up, looked across the room and saw the belt, then I realised that I was the X-Division champion of this great company, something which I am proud to be.”

JAMES – “Aight, that’s deep. Well there has been a lot of hype amongst the smaaarrt maaarrkks about your departure from the WWE.”

LONDON – “I know, I’ve heard it too. A lot of people have been talking about me, saying that signing that contract was a big mistake, saying I should’ve stayed on the independent circuit, but I made my decision and I stand by it. I don’t know why I was released, but all I know is…”

London is interrupted by the sound of Michael Shane’s music. Shane makes his way down the ramp, accompanied by the Franchise Shane Douglas. Shane snatches the mic from London.

SHANE – “I’ll tell you why you were released: because you suck! You are nothing Paul, a nobody, a no talent chump. I am the next Franchise. You know what that means? It means that I am the best wrestler in the world today, and that belt is mine! (Shane taps Paul London’s belt, which is hanging over his shoulder). You stole that from me! You and that coward Chris Sabin double teamed me, that’s the only way you won that belt, by cheating! You wouldn’t have a chance if you faced the Franchise Michael Shane one on one.”

LONDON – “(London gets in Shane’s face). You think that eh? Well I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we have a match next week? That’s right Shane, you, me, X-Division title match. How does that sound, chump? (London shoves/pokes Shane with his index finger)”

Shane backs away in disgust, then he turns around and clocks London with a right hand! Douglas and London start stomping away at London. James tries to break it up, but he suffers a few strikes for his troubles. Here comes Chris Sabin! Sabin charges to the ring and sends the Franchises scurrying. Sabin stands tall in the ring and Shane and Shane escape.

58%

Michael Shane gained overness.

6. Mack Daddy Delivers

Before the bout we see a video, which showed how this match came to be. BG James is already in the ring as Da Hit Squad make their way out to ringside. Many of our fans on the internet were hoping that we would see Mafia in action, but apparently it’s going to be his partner Mack taking on BG. The bell rings and the two go at it, but the fans are fairly disappointed with the resulting match. In fact the only spot worth talking about was when James went for his ‘Shake, Rattle and Roll’ only for Mack to duck it and nail a vicious looking backdrop. Eventually Mafia jumped up on the apron, distracting James, who turned back round straight into a Tiger Bomb for the win. Very meh.

Mack bt BG James (58/51/68) 3/4*

Mack gained overness. James lost overness.

7. The Gauntlet Is Laid Down

The screen fades to black and then we are transported to a dark place, laden with mysterious fog. Out of the distance emerges some creepy looking figures, who reveal themselves as Gacy and Father James Mitchell.

MITCHELL – “Darkness, the best friend of the forsaken, where the demented come out to play. Raven, soon this is the place you will call home. We will banish you to this place. You will be sent from whence you came, this place, this sickening mixture of personal dementia and sorrow. This is where you belong. You have no strength, no self belief. You are a pit of self pity – the product of drug and alcohol abuse. We have no time for your kind. We are here to cleanse the world of people like you; the impure. You have no value to society. You have no place in our world. You don’t belong, yet you refuse to leave, so we must make you. Battle is such an unpleasant business, yet it is a means to an end; the end of you. Next week, you Raven versus this man, the soul-killer, Gacy, no disqualification. What do you say? Are you going to play our game? Will you stay and fight or run like the coward you are?”

In the background Gacy makes the trademark pose of Raven as we fade back into the mist.

71%

Gacy gained overness. Mitchell gained overness.

8. Brutality

The video segment gives the ring crew time to assemble the cage around the ring for our main event. It’s your standard NWA cage, you know the one the WWE tried to rip off when they had the classic blue one. Why did they do that? The blue cage was great. Ah well, it makes no difference to us, their loss is our gain. Out comes Abyss, who seems to be fairly over as a monster, stomping down the ramp. Then it’s time for our hero, the one and only AJ Styles. He gets through the door only to be met by Abyss, and the monster goes to work on him straight away. Abyss dominates for much of the early going, tossing him around like a rag doll, into the turnbuckles and the cage. He picked Styles up over his shoulder and rams him head first into the steel. Abyss picks him up again and slams him headfirst against the mesh cage once again. Styles is busted open! Abyss tries to ram him against the cage once again, but Styles drops down the back and pushes Abyss in. The monster bounces back into an enziguri. Styles uses some of his high risk moves to beat the big man down, including a reverse DDT off the second rope. He goes up to the top rope, but Abyss pushes the ref into the ropes, crotching him. Abyss climbs up onto the top rope with Styles. Superplex! Both men bounced off the mat! The big man sat up and dragged Styles towards the cage. He grabs Styles’ head and grates it against the mesh of the cage. That’s sick! Abyss is one sadistic human being. Abyss keeps beating away at Styles, using some power offence. He nails a powerslam, but only gets a 2 count. Abyss decides that the way forward is ascending the turnbuckle, which we all know is going to get bad before it gets good. Styles gets his second wind and runs up the corner, sending Abyss crashing to the mat with a hurricanrana. Styles is getting ‘G’ed up and starts laying on the moves thickly. Facebuster. Abyss gets up. Forearm smashes. Styles bounces against the ropes. Flying headscissors. Styles stands up on the second rope. He awaits Abyss to get up. Styles jumps off and plants Abyss with a hellacious DDT! Styles pulls Abyss to his feet. He goes for a Styles Clash, but Abyss is too big. He tries to backbody drop Styles, but he rolls through into a sunset flip. One…two, no Abyss kicks out. Both men get back up. Abyss swings, but misses. Low blow by Styles. He hooks Abyss up. He goes for the Styles Clash again, and this time hooks it in! Styles Clash to Abyss! Styles makes the cover! One…two…three! AJ Styles has beaten Abyss in a brutal cage match. The referee raises Styles’ hand as the wipes off the crimson mask and celebrates the win. The celebrations are cut short at the arrival of Jeff Jarrett. He runs down to the ring and begins climbing the cage. Here they all come. Gage and Northcutt start running down the aisle and try entering the cage. Callis gets up from his commentary position and brings a chair in. They begin assaulting Styles. He briefly fights back, but his resistance is ended by a chairshot from Abyss. Jarrett pulls out some handcuffs and cuffs Styles to the top rope. He winds up a chairshot, but stops. Business just picked up. Here comes Jerry Lynn, Erik Watts and Americas Most Wanted. They try and enter the cage, but their attempts are thwarted by the heels. Styles is a sitting duck, and once again Jarrett winds up for the chairshot. The lights go out. Everyone is confused, then they come back on. Raven is in the ring! He’s got a chair! He blasts Northcutt, then Gage. Jarrett and Callis escape the cage as Raven plants Abyss with a wicked shot. As the champ and commish escape through the crowd, the faces jump into the ring to check on their fallen comrade.

AJ Styles bt Abyss (70/67/74) **

-End Show-

CQ – 64%

PPV – 0.21

Edited June 1, 2004 by lafunkenstein

[TheRaySays]

I echo everyone else's fondness for this and raise it thirty thousand, splashing the pot like Teddy MF'in KGB. Anyway, I was really into this the first time around and am practically freaking out about new stuff.

Welcome back, Funky, you were missed,

TheRay

BTW, TGC: I pointed out the PPV commercial anomaly to Funky the first time 'round, then had to laugh when they took fourteen minutes on their next real life PPV for Don West to go old school Shop-At-Home and shill everything from the DVDs to t-shirts to the TNA Girls calendar, the InDemand webcast subscription, and on and on and on. And yes, I can say first-hand that it DOES piss off the folks who pay for the PPV...

[TGC]

I haven't purchased a TNA show in reality in months, so I will take ya'lls word for it.

Moving on, the last two shows there were fantastic. I never thought it was going to be Paul London as X, but it was simply fantastic. Way better than pushing Carl Oulette as TNA did in reality.

I miss Don west already, however. Bastard.

Your BG James, as I told you previously, is simply the BEST I have ever read. I can't say that enough.

Keep them coming sir, keep them coming.

TGC

EDIT: I just checked, and you never said in the last show, so who joined Tenay THIS week on commentary?

Edited June 1, 2004 by thegodcomplex

[lafunky xxvii]

EDIT:  I just checked, and you never said in the last show, so who joined Tenay THIS week on commentary?

←

Don Callis was on commentary with Tenay again. I probably should've mentioned it. Oh well