What Did You Watch Today?

[ROC]

Match Point - 4/10

It's so disappointing just how dull Woody Allen's most acclaimed feature in a long time really is. Perhaps the only thing drawing into the film is the sex appeal of Scarlett Johansson, but after a while, the film gets mind numbingly boring and goes on for far too long without getting to a damn point. Oh, and the third act plot twist is easily one of the most ridiculously unrealistic twists you will see in film. Johansson, Emily Mortimer, and Matthew Goode could (and have) do so much better than this film.

[Numbahs]

Gee. I thought you would drink the kool-aid and like Match Point. I did....a lot.

[ROC]

Woody Allen movies are just the type of shit I despise for some reason. It didn't help that I thought the characters weren't anywhere near realistic to me especially...

Chris killing Nola near the end. It seemed to just take me out of the movie out of how ridiculously unrealistic that action was.

[reyrey619]

X-Men: The Last Stand- 6.5/10

It was definitley better than I heard it was. Maybe the low expectations helped the grading of it, but regardless it was still enjoyable. Definitley the worst of the three movies so far though.

[zero]

Lady in the Water

Wow... this was bad. I love M. Knight's movies, even the Village (I was one of the four), but this one was just downright fucking weird. First off, the entire mood of the movie is killed in the first half because the fucking boom mic is visibile at least five times. And not just a little visible, visible to the point where the audience is busting out laughing because it's so fucking obvious. I swear to God, I thought the M. Knight Twist would be that I was watching a movie within a movie, that's how much you see the boom. I hoped they just sent out an unfinished print for the premieres, but this was screened for the press, how the hell could they let something like this go?

Next off, there is absolutely no reason that a movie directed by M. Knight and starring Paul Giammati should ever be this bad. One great, yet underrated director and one amazing underrated actor, it should have been a match made in heaven, but it was just bad. Although I will say the two are probably the best parts of the movie, M. Knight plays a rather big role, which is much different from his past films. I also adore Bryce Dallas Howard, something about her just strikes me and I can't help but be almost hypnotized whenever she's on screen.

So with all those good elements, where does the movie go wrong? It goes wrong by being a convoluted mess. There's only one thing going on in the movie, but there's just so much shit being thrown in. I know this was based on a fairy tale M. Knight created for his kids, and it feels like I'm watching something being made up as it goes along. Plus, there's a ton of symbolism in the movie, but most of it is stuff that M. Knight has already explored in past films and honestly just feels rehashed. I get what he's trying to say, and the symbolism is cool, the problem is the devices he uses to create the symbolism are just uninteresting.

I have a feeling this will easily be the biggest disappointment of the summer.

Or... I could be totally wrong and this could just be a film that requires repeated viewing. The plot itself is certainly something very original, and there are some interesting elements. But I guarantee when you see the credits roll for the first time, you'll say "what the fuck did I just spend two hours on?"

And if you want to know the "delicious twist" that we all come to expect, the twist this time is that there is no twist... and a really lame ending to boot.

Edited July 19, 2006 by Zero

[ROC]

Jurassic Park - 7/10

Independence Day - 6/10

[Numbahs]

The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things - * out of *****

Eh.

[Numbahs]

Fever Pitch - *** out of *****

[Numbahs]

ATL - *** out of *****

[Mysterio2000X]

Equilibrium

7.5/10

It's not as great as it once was for me, simply because I've seen it far too many times. That being said, it's still a pretty good movie, shame Ultraviolet didn't work out that way.

[BlackFlagg]

Glory Road - 5/10

[Timmoru Suzuki]

District 13 6/10

It may get 6.5. The plot is stupid with so many flaws it isn't true, its just really stupid, with flaws a five year old would laugh at. No real great performances, and it has an element of style over substance. Dialogue is meh.

On the other had it isn't boring. And the action sequences are fantastic. Indeed, the firt twenty minutes is one great 'escape' sequence and the other action scenes don't disappoint, and since as they come around quite quickly, they do keep the interest level up a bit. Whilst the plot is silly, the very basic idea isn't bad. Its also around the right length. Its quite short as under an hour and a half, but it is about how long the film could go without wearing out.

Basically, its has many flaws, but I spent an hour and a half watching it, and wasn't bored, but I probably wouldn't want to see it again either.

[Numbahs]

Awesome, I Fuckin' Shot That - *** out of *****

I also started watching Alias...

It's surprisingly watchable for television, which I normally hate.

[zero]

You, Me & Dupree

Decent movie, fun for what it was. I just don't really get into Owen Wilson, but Matt Dillon's awesome and Kate Hudson is delicious as always. Good date movie.

[The Dork Knight]

Smokey and the Bandit - 7/10

[Rashid]

Clerks. :9.3/10

Definitly a classic. One of the funniest movies I've ever seen. It'd probably rank in my top 3.

[Guest Bosstown Boy]

The Cell - 7/10

[The Kraig]

Pirates Of The Carribbean: Dead Man's Chest - 8/10.

Everyone said it was shit, but I liked it a lot. Some of the semi-slapstick comedy was gold, and the interweaving of various plots was excellently done. I found it pretty hard to predict what was going to happen most of the time, which is very good (I like surprises (¬_¬)). I also loved the all new characters, and the brining back of a lot of old ones (with reason), and this was way more enjoyable than the first to me. It just seemed to have a bigger feel to it, but at times it felt like I'd been watching the film forever. The ending made me had me marking out (yes, marking out) and wanting more, so I'm glad I won't have to wait THREE YEARS again for the next one.

Roll on, POTCIII.

Edited July 21, 2006 by The Kraig

[Ananas]

Clerks II - 9/10

Clearly Kevin Smith took to heart the saying "you can't go home again". In that spirit, he burnt the fucking thing to the ground, and built himself one of the sharpest, most complete comedies since, well, the last time he visited the View Askewniverse. Clerks II is the sequel to a 12 year old film, but with this age old adage about recreating the past in mind, Smith has created a story that not only works in 2006, it seems likely to work with the latest generation as much as the original worked with Gen X-ers. The sequel is also buoyed by the addition of two new characters, Rosario Dawson as Becky and Trevor Fehrman as Elias, who serve both the dramatic and comedic elements respectively. Compared side by side, it's hard to say whether "the second coming" of Clerks matches up to the original, but compared to any comedy in recent years, it's more than equal. 2006 has it's first great movie.

[Guest Bosstown Boy]

Quite the marathon right now:

Commando - 6/10

Rambo: First Blood

7/10

God, someone get me some red meat and raw eggs.