Hentai Game Review!

[Mick]

Ahhh, yes. Some of us have a deeper inner pervet than others. And I am one of them.

Why do I play such games?

Because it's fun and porn at the same time? Sure, any tool with internet access can bring up porno sites and beat off...but the hentai games are a little different. Your actions actually cause the game to unfold. Like being an asshole to that hot little piece of ass? Guess what, you just ruined your chance of getting with her (...short of rape ).

You're probably all saying right now "What the fuck, Mick? Don't you have enough hookers and dildos? Do you really have to sink to hentai games? Why not stick with real porn, man?!"

....Yes, I have to sink to hentai games. Real porn is fun, but let's face it. What male hasn't watched an anime flick or read a manga that hasn't wanted to fuck the shit out of some of the females? Christ, I read the BR manga and I was hot for Mitsuko. So, that being said, my first review is an oldie. In fact, it was the first H-Game I played, after being sent the link from a friend.

GANGURO GIRL

What is a ganguro girl? Pretty much Japanese teen freaks that have a deep tan (Or for those that don't, colored in skin) and a lot of make-up. In real life, it's not that attractive, IMO, but the good artists were able to overcome this.

The object of the game is simple. Try to have sex with one of three Ganguro Girls. You accompish this by taking them on dates, and sooner or later, you can invite them to a love hotel (basically, a by-the-hour room, sometimes themed, where young couples in Japan go to make whoopee, thanks to the lack of private space in a residence).

It's not as easy as it sounds. Taking them on dates is free, but they'll usually drop into a bad mood, in which you must shower them with gifts to make them happy. Good dates improve your relationship, bad dates don't do much excpet waste a couple days and some cash.

Oh, by the way, you have 100 days to make some form of sexual contact. If you don't, game over.

You have a handful of options to make cash. Tech-Support, Telemarketing, and making deliveries for a guy named "Big All". Each pays differently. You have three categories for yourself. Charisma, Strength, and Intelligence. When you work, you get paid based on your skill times x, x being whatever the rate is. Thus, if you have a strength of 10 and work for Big All, your pay is 10 x 5, or 50. If it's 100, you make 500 dollars. Easy money. Then again, you might get sent to jail for a week.

Now, the girls. I won't go into too much detail. Aside from clothes and hair style, they're all pretty much idential. It's a cosmetic thing for you; however, when you do become lovers, different positions are availble.

Now, cash has other uses then just dating the girl; you can buy shit to give them. Gifts and Items. Gifts imrpove the relationship score, Items help out a date. You'll need the items more than the gifts. Each item has a different effect. In return, she'll give you something (non-sexual) in return for a successful date; these range from a teddy bear to a vibrator.

That being said, the game is pretty mechanical; those familiar with Flash can exploit it, and cheats for the game are easy to come by.

Story, well....you're just trying to get laid. No real story to follow, you just keep talking to a woman day after day until you get lucky.

So, if you're in a perverted mood, look the game up. There's two versions; one with a single girl, and another with three. I have the three girl one, so message me and I can help you find it. Single girl is free, deluxe three girl isn't.

Remember, it's Ganguro Girl. Bit of fun if you have time to kill.

[stokeriño]

So Mick, you've officially delved deeper into the lows of Japanese entertainment than I ever have. Congratulations, I guess.

If these games weren't so single-mindedly porn-orientated then they'd effectively just be point-and-click RPGs, which could be fun. However - no. Just, no.

(I now wish someone else would post so that it doesn't look like I've been the one reviewing hentai games when they see 'latest post' from the main page )

Edited March 26, 2007 by stokeriño

[MalaCloudy Black]

So Mick, you've officially delved deeper into the lows of Japanese entertainment than I ever have. Congratulations, I guess.

If these games weren't so single-mindedly porn-orientated then they'd effectively just be point-and-click RPGs, which could be fun. However - no. Just, no.

There are a couple games like that, I mean, that aren't single-mindedly porn-orientated. >_> Not that I've played any. *cough*

[stokeriño]

So Mick, you've officially delved deeper into the lows of Japanese entertainment than I ever have. Congratulations, I guess.

If these games weren't so single-mindedly porn-orientated then they'd effectively just be point-and-click RPGs, which could be fun. However - no. Just, no.

There are a couple games like that, I mean, that aren't single-mindedly porn-orientated. >_> Not that I've played any. *cough*

Ah, but aren't they simply of the "here are many girls: CHAT ONE UP" motif? The PG-13 variation of the same thing, if you will.

Edited March 26, 2007 by stokeriño

[MalaCloudy Black]

... Yup >_>

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

I've played one of these. I can't remember what it's called though but I've discussed it with Mick. It may be "True Love" or something where you play a guy at college who has to choose different girls to go out with, have sex with and then ultimately decide who to get married to (ahhh a happy ending).

If I remember rightly some of the choices are:

Hot sports chick

Slightly unhinged arty chick

Your mate's younger sister

Typical horny female teacher

Your childhood friend

Pop star who is "in hiding" from stalkers so comes to your school "disguised" by wearing glasses

Mysterious older woman

It has a panty thief, sex hotels and an actual (kinda) storyline.

When I played I couldn't bring myself to go after the younger sister so I went for the sporty girl and that was entertaining

Thing is, apparantly in a perfect game you can have sex with all of them before having to decide which to marry. If you choose to marry someone who you HAVEN'T concentrated on then they won't marry you and you LOOOOSE!

[stokeriño]

If I remember rightly some of the choices are:

Hot sports chick

Slightly unhinged arty chick

Your mate's younger sister

Typical horny female teacher

Your childhood friend

Pop star who is "in hiding" from stalkers so comes to your school "disguised" by wearing glasses

Mysterious older woman

That covers most of the stereotypes, outside of the weirder stuff (robot girl and the like).

I've not played any in English, though I did have a laugh with a GBA ROM of a Love Hina one that basically followed the storyline of the TV series. Usual result being: make a bad response, get punched. Don't respond fast enough, get punched. Since I couldn't understand a word of what I was supposed to be saying, I tried different strategies like "absolutely avoid any answer which contains an exclamation mark". That one worked...almost.

[Guest Zeokage]

Heh, that reminds me of the Excel Saga episode where Ilpalazzo is playing one... on a GBA no less IIRC.

[Riceman 4K]

If you wanna play a tight hentai game, play Baldr Force EXE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktcCQyxmN_A

[stokeriño]

If you wanna play a tight hentai game, play Baldr Force EXE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktcCQyxmN_A

If that's the game I think it is (can't click link while at work), I already saw a trailer for it after innocently following a link from Dom's 'rant' space on megatokyo.com. They can dress it up with mecha and shiny stuff all they like, but it's still the same deal.

Heh, that reminds me of the Excel Saga episode where Ilpalazzo is playing one... on a GBA no less IIRC.

"Who puts a BOMB in a dating game?!" >_>

Edited March 26, 2007 by stokeriño

[Fanku Kaibutsu]

I've only ever played 2 hentai games that were at all entertaining in anyway- Marble Cooking and Artificial Girl 2. One was a fantastic puzzle game, the other actually did a good job at functioning as a form of 3d animated porn, particularly with the hundreds of mods done for the game.

[TGC]

Seriously, and I mean this with not a hint of sarcasm but 100% seriously, you're a really sad fucker Mick.

[LL!]

This is just sick and wrong. Shame on all of you.

[SeanDMan]

I knew a girl who used to play them, purely for the cheap amusement that they provided with their illogical gameplay. I never really got the point, but there was one that I played where you had to try and seduce Aria Giovanni. It was fascinating for 2 reasons; one, she fell more in love with you the better you did in school, so studying and reading the subject matter beyond the game was encouraged, so I felt like I was learning, albeit in the smuttiest fashion possible, and two, the song that played in the background was so, so, so bad. It was like the cheesiest smutty love song with one verse and the chorus, about 40 seconds worth of music, on endless loop. So, so awful. It was kind of like the movie Showgirls; you watch for the jiggling boobies but stay for the atrocious incidental hillarity.

[TOG]

Real porn is fun, but let's face it. What male hasn't watched an anime flick or read a manga that hasn't wanted to fuck the shit out of some of the females? Christ, I read the BR manga and I was hot for Mitsuko.

[stokeriño]

Real porn is fun, but let's face it. What male hasn't watched an anime flick or read a manga that hasn't wanted to fuck the shit out of some of the females? Christ, I read the BR manga and I was hot for Mitsuko.

Me, for one. :blink:

Same here. And fuck, you'd think that if I were even the slightest bit inclined towards what Mick is suggesting, it would have happened by NOW.

[Mick]

Seriously, and I mean this with not a hint of sarcasm but 100% seriously, you're a really sad fucker Mick.

I was in high school when I played it :ohwell:

[R.W.]

Ahhh, yes. Some of us have a deeper inner pervet than others. And I am one of them.

Why do I play such games?

That's present tense, not past

[Mick]

Ahhh, yes. Some of us have a deeper inner pervet than others. And I am one of them.

Why do I play such games?

That's present tense, not past

....I was tired? :ohwell:

[stokeriño]

Why, if you only played it in High School, should you be making a review thread of it now?

Your alibi is unravelling before you, Mick.