Meet The Spartans

[Benji]

Come on chaps, keep the flaming for the film

[TheRyno]

If you read back in the topic you'll see that I did it for a girl. I had no interest in seeing it, so why don't you stop being a dick.

[Evil Chase K]

If you read back in the topic you'll see that I did it for a girl. I had no interest in seeing it, so why don't you stop being a dick.

[Kyle_]

If you read back in the topic you'll see that I did it for a girl. I had no interest in seeing it, so why don't you stop being a dick.

You should have gotten some action for that, a handy at the very least.

And no, I'm not being a dick. I'm being a man's man like William Regal.

[DMN in the House]

You need to find you a good woman, like mine, who wanted to see Rambo.

[Kyle_]

I've never seen the Rambo movies, so I really didn't want to see Rambo. I wish I would've noticed that Untraceable was out.

[zero]

To whoever was worried about Larry the Cable Guy's movie going to #1, I wouldn't worry too much, that fad has passed. Health Inspector and Delta Farce both BOMBED.

As for this pile of hell on earth, all I can say to the American movie-going public is - really? Really? Of all the movies you had to choose from this weekend, this is the one you pick? Really? Find me one person over the age of 12 that watched the trailer for this movie and said "wow, I want to see that!" Find me that person so I can kick them repeatedly in the fucking mouth. I know we all have our own opinions on movies, but how the fuck could you watch a trailer for this movie and actually want to pay $8 to see it? Here's a list of things you could do with that $8 besides see this movie:

-Burn it

-Snort cocaine with it

-Shove eight singles up your ass. Or maybe a five and three singles. Or shove a ten up there and shit out two dollars in change.

Really American movie watcher, REALLY!? What was it about the trailer that really hooked you onto this movie? The Donald Trump "you're fired" bit that wasn't even funny when it was relevant three goddamn years ago? Or was it the part where the Britney Spears lookalike was shaving her head? Something that was talked about for two months non-stop when it fucking happened in February? Really, you needed just a few more jokes about that one? Oh I know, the Borat guy was in it! Wasn't that movie funny in 2006 before everyone in the fucking country beat the joke into the ground so bad that Sascha Baron Cohen decided to NEVER play the part ever again? Oh but they make fun of Deal or No Deal... that's such a hip show with the kids these days, isn't it funny when someone says "Deal... or NO DEAL!?" Oh you think it's funny? Is that your final answer? Nope, that's incorrect, you are the weakest link, goodbye!

Oh, it's gotta be the overlying theme of the movie, the 300 spoof. Yeah, the movie where the guys are practically naked, I bet they got plenty of HILARIOUS gay jokes out of that one. Cause you know, fags are hilarious! Nothing is funnier, edgier or more trendy with today's moviegoer like a good joke on the queers because gay jokes have NEVER been done before. For fuck's sake, your average movie viewer truly is a fucking idiot.

REALLY?!

[Benji]

There's a "Why so serious?" joke in here somewhere for you Zero

Honestly though, it reminds me of Date Movie, but Date Movie actually looked good from the trailer (putting the only semi-good jokes in the trailer will do that for a comedy film), but the trailer for this just makes me feel sad. I miss spoofs being funny, remember "Airplane!"? Remember "Loaded Weapon"? Remember "Austin Powers"?

The sad thing is this film is what we, as Britains, pretty much get for our television comedy these days, poor spoofs and toilet humour, long gone are the witicisms of Blackadder and the clever physical comedy of Fawlty Towers (which holds up so well it proves that physical comedy can ALWAYS be funny), the abstract silliness of Only Fools and Horses is long gone too.

Where have all the good British comedy writers gone?

[zero]

That was me being nice.

Here's something to think about. I thought Scary Movie was hilarious, I liked Scary Movie 2 and enjoyed Scary Movie 3. Yet the thought of seeing this cinematic abortion makes me want to have my eyes stabbed out by John Holmes erect cock post-AIDS.

[Benji]

I loved the first Scary Movie, the second was okay, the third was bearable with a bit of alcohol (those kind of jokes go down better when you're in the mindset for it). The main issue I have with them isn't just the toilet humour, it's that there's no wit to the toilet humour, if it's well timed and written well it's great, but they just use random non-sequitur toilet humour and even Family Guy, for all its randomness knows that you can't build a show PURELY on that.

[Sousa]

To whoever was worried about Larry the Cable Guy's movie going to #1, I wouldn't worry too much, that fad has passed. Health Inspector and Delta Farce both BOMBED.

That's because Larry the Cable Guy fans don't have any money.

Really, the most offensive thing about this movie to those of us who have not and will never see it has been the fact that the previews have been on every... eight... seconds. And now we get an equal number of previews this week reminding us that Meet the Spartans is the #1 movie in America. Awesome.

You have to admit, the marketing behind these movies has been brilliant. It's a movie targeted primarily at teenagers and frat guys, two choice demographics ready to spend their Christmas money on stupid weekend entertainment with their friends en route to a three-hour trip to Steak & Shake. They're written (barely) in such a way and with production values so poor that there can easily be a new one every year, right after Christmas (when there are zero big box office movies and a ton of slightly richer fans within their target demo). It's not so much that their demographic is large so much as it is that this demographic moves movie tickets. So they get the #1 movie in January, and Fox greenlights another one for the next January, where the cycle begins anew.

In short, these are not our movies. But next year, when the next iteration of this cinematic shit is slopped onto movie screens, "lampooning" (read: loosely referencing and adding a vomit joke) Cloverfield, The Dark Knight, Get Smart, Indiana Jones, Iron Man, Speed Racer, Pimp My Ride, probably Borat and Spider-Man again, whatever else Britney Spears does this year, Paris Hilton, American Idol, and--I don't know--The Weakest Link, we'll all be having this conversation again.

[Benji]

There's hope yet for the spoof genre!

[ROC]

To whoever was worried about Larry the Cable Guy's movie going to #1, I wouldn't worry too much, that fad has passed. Health Inspector and Delta Farce both BOMBED.

That's because Larry the Cable Guy fans don't have any money.

[Sousa]

To whoever was worried about Larry the Cable Guy's movie going to #1, I wouldn't worry too much, that fad has passed. Health Inspector and Delta Farce both BOMBED.

That's because Larry the Cable Guy fans don't have any money.

Or they don't have many movie theaters in rural America.

As a resident of rural America, I can say with all honesty... ... ... ...yes, that's true.

[ROC]

To whoever was worried about Larry the Cable Guy's movie going to #1, I wouldn't worry too much, that fad has passed. Health Inspector and Delta Farce both BOMBED.

That's because Larry the Cable Guy fans don't have any money.

Or they don't have many movie theaters in rural America.

[Hellfire]

Everyone at my work was talking about going to see this movie. I had to walk away so I didn't yell at them. Yet another reason why I need a new job. How in the hell did this become the number one movie in america? Are people really that worthless?

[MalaCloudy Black]

To whoever was worried about Larry the Cable Guy's movie going to #1, I wouldn't worry too much, that fad has passed. Health Inspector and Delta Farce both BOMBED.

That's because Larry the Cable Guy fans don't have any money.

Or they don't have many movie theaters in rural America.

As a resident of rural America, I can say with all honesty... ... ... ...yes, that's true.

It's false. There's three or four within twenty minutes of here and this is Arkansas.

[Sousa]

It's false. There's three or four within twenty minutes of here and this is Arkansas.

Larry the Cable Guy fans don't have the money for forty minutes worth of gas. They have more important things to buy, like Big Macs and cigarettes and Rent-A-Center big-screen TV's and $150 shoes.

[MalaCloudy Black]

It's false. There's three or four within twenty minutes of here and this is Arkansas.

Larry the Cable Guy fans don't have the money for forty minutes worth of gas. They have more important things to buy, like Big Macs and cigarettes and Rent-A-Center big-screen TV's and $150 shoes.

Okay. ¬_¬

[JDizzle1243]

To put all the speculation to rest about Meet The Spartans being a good/bad movie. Well, I saw the movie on Friday and all I have to say is that was the worst movie I have ever seen. I mean seriously, it was a real waste of my time and my money to go see that crap. I'm not even joking either because looking at the commercials, I actually thought to myself that this movie might be really funny. I decided to go see it with a couple of my friends and at points, I really just wanted to get up and leave. Advice to everyone, don't waste your money on that piece of crap they call a movie. I'm marking out for The Dark Knight, really looks good and I can't wait for it.

R.I.P Heath Ledger