Signs that your Premier League club are screwed

[9 to 5]

65. Graeme Souness is your manager.

Wrong.

[badotori]

70. You fire Alan Curbishley as your manager half way through the season. Or he leaves your club in general.

Edited May 26, 2010 by badotori

[Crybaby Bunting]

71. "Of course he's good. He's from Brazil"

[Crybaby Bunting]

72. You hire Harry Redknapp as a financial consultant

[GA!]

73. When Clive Tyldesley can only recall what a great season you had in 1953.

[Adam]

74. When your manager comes out in the press and says news of the clubs bid for a top Championship player is 'news to him'.

Edited May 26, 2010 by AdamDRFC

[TCO]

75. When your team signs the 'cousin' of the World Footballer of the Year after one phone call.

[Guest Mr. Potato Head]

76. When every pre-match presser includes lines like "The players are prepared and should be up for it", "I think that's an accurate assessment", and "It's unlikely we will make a move for the player".

[Adam]

77. When every pre-match presser includes lines like "f****** so f****** slimy" and "It is none of your f****** business. What the f*** are you going to do? You ain't got the balls to be a f******* manager. F******* day off. Do I want your opinion? Do I have to listen to you?"

[TCO]

78. When your manager mispronounces the name of one of your most promising players in a post match interview, which offends him enough to hand in a transfer request.

See: Insomnia, Charles

Edited May 26, 2010 by The Cool One

[Rich]

79. You're star (Dutch) striker goes on strike after throwing a hissy fit claiming you're team aren't good enough for the Premier League.... turns out Pierre was right.

[ONO]

10. Yanks.

Nah our Yanky owner is fantastic.

[Guest Mr. Potato Head]

80. Your hot new American signing shows up in a helmet and shoulderpads.

[Dingle]

81. You sign an untested lower league manager who doesn't even have the correct badges because your previous manager ran off to a club with a future.

Edited May 27, 2010 by Devil In Jouzy City

[ONO]

82. When Delia Smith has to inspire the fans and players for the second half

[METALMAN]

83. When you're West Bromwich Albion. Although it doesn't matter too much because you'll invariably be promoted the next season.

84. Your manager announces that he would "just love it" if your team beat Manchester United.

85. You build a brand new stadium especially to accommodate all the extra fans drawn to Premier League games. (see Leicester City, Southampton, Coventry City...)

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

86. Your manager signs a fat Swedish player who "used" to be good.

[Noah]

37. Your manager will give no details of how he intends to avoid relegation, other than to claim that he has a "cunning plan".

87. Then follows up by appointing this guy as his assistant.

[nabeel]

88. You've been waiting for your 17 year old wonder kids to mature for the past 6 years now.

[Hobo]

89. When your manager has a pre-prepared statement of FACTS.