King Ellis' Christmas Movie Thing

[King Ellis]

Day 8

Scrooge (1951)

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When I look at the timeline for the movies I watch during Halloween, that thing really jumps all over the place, going all the way back to the 30's. In comparison, it seems the Christmas stuff is a little more anchored in the 80's and onwards, with one or two even being released only a week or so prior. So, it's nice to throw that off a little by including this from 1951.

And like horror movies, looking for another Christmas Carol adaptation overwhelms me in a similar manner to looking at these franchises that have spawned enough movies to almost reach double figures. There were a few different versions I was pondering over viewing before finally settling on this one.

It's quite different to the Patrick Stewart version I am so accustomed to, expanding on certain elements and with Alastair Sim's performance making Scrooge perhaps a little more derisive and cynical. In the scene where two gentlemen visit Scrooge seeking a charitable donation, Sim almost toys with them, sneering at them as he listens to their pitch, scoffing at the very notion that they would ask him to make a contribution. Whereas Stewart's Scrooge seems very tired and weary, rolling his eyes at the whole thing. His delivery of the line regarding the poor dying to decrease the surplus population is rather more deliberate and chilling, whereas it's more of an off hand remark for Sim. Plus, his conversation with them carries on from there, whereas it's the final word for Stewart, leaving them speechless as he commands Cratchit to usher them out.

The Marley scene is a rather curious one, the ghostly figure of Scrooge's departed business partner being rather subdued as he arrives to give his warning, taking his seat, barely moving as Scrooge begins to rattle on about the chances of an upset stomach causing this hallucination. This prompts Marley to leap to his feet and let out a Banshee like screech, sending Scrooge cowering in a terror. From there it's a rather over the top performance I'd almost liken to Dr Smith from Lost in Space, only instead of "The pain of it all!" it's "Woe is me!".

When the first spirit arrives to take us on a journey to Scrooge's past, they choose to frame this with an egg timer moving back and forth from the foreground to the background, almost a literal interpretation of 'time travel' as if we were too stupid to immediately realise what was going on.

And I'm not sure on the party at Fezziwig's. Scrooge has a spring in his step as he bounds into the room as if he were ready to join in with the dancing. I think I prefer Stewart's Scrooge trying to remain rather reserved, only for us to catch a glimpse at him subconsciously tapping his feet away to the rhythm of the music.

We get some expansion on the existing story with Scrooge's head being turned by a wealthy businessman looking to take over Fezziwig's, trying to instil fear in him by telling him of the industrial revolution, how machines are the way of the future but Fezziwig remains loyal to the old ways. And whilst Scrooge tries to remain loyal to his employer, a vastly increased salary is hard to resist. Years later when it transpires that that same businessman has been embezzling funds, Scrooge and Marley seize an opportunity for advancement, when it's suggested that a scandal might scare off shareholders and ruin the reputation of the company. Why not have them reimburse those in charge for his crimes but under the caveat that they take a controlling interest in the company? Once a man who said 'money isn't everything', now preying on the vulnerability of others.

The Christmas morning scene was one I was eagerly awaiting, seeing how Scrooge would react here after always being a little confused by the almost out of body experience Stewart's Scrooge undergoes. If anything, it's even more crazy here, if only for the fact that there's a bystander privy to the whole thing, his laundress who hears his maniacal laughs, sees him skipping around the room and rambiling of visits from 'spirits'. I can think of a few spirits that would make him like this. He tops it all off by declaring he must stand on his hand which sends the laundress fleeing in terror, screaming her head off like Una O'Connor.

So, Scrooge, pretty enjoyable on the whole. For what could be a tired story to revisit, it's refreshing in the expansion to the story it offers and in the more sardonic portrayal of it's main character. Plus, the expressions on Sim's face throughout are just wonderful. Now I need only move on to see how George C Scott fared with his crack at it. Or Mickey Mouse. Or the Muppets. Or that musical affair with Fredric March and Basil Rathborne...

[King Ellis]

Day 9

Blackadder's Christmas Carol (1988) & The Snowman (1982)

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Watching a ton of Christmas movies grinding you down? Fear not, for I have a cunning plan! Why not replace your one Christmas movie with two seperate Christmas specials! Not really a cunning plan I suppose since I do this every year but ho hum.

To begin with we have another take on the Christmas Carol story, this time from the British sitcom 'Blackadder' starring Rowan Atkinson, that delightful romp throughout British history, with it's witty and clever yet deeply cynical and contemptuous protagonist: Edmund Blackadder. A family line that often seems to find itself closely associated to those in power, enough to tease with dreams of one day obtaining such power for themselves, but having to make do with commanding but a mere servant in the dimwitted and smelly Baldrick.

Sorry, I appear to have become confused. This special is about one Ebeneezer Blackadder, the kindest and loveliest man in all England! Why, the only humbug on his lips is the boiled sweet that he offers to Baldrick as the special begins in his moustache shop. Baldrick's throughout the ages have never seen this sort of kindness offered unto them throughout the ages! Indeed, whilst Blackadder might still point out Baldrick's flaws, it's all done in a playful manner and he otherwise shows some genuine interest and care in his assistant.

This Blackadder is kind to a fault, seen as a pushover by the less fortunate of the local community that will make up sob stories to inspire him to hand over his hard earned takings. Even though Mr's 'Scratchit' and her worries over what she will feed her 'Tiny Tom' fail to win over Blackadder at first given that Tiny Tom is in fact fifteen stone and built like a brick privvy, he soon caves and offers to buy a box of matches she is carrying. She agrees, at the price of £1 per match, taking with her £17 of Blackadder's yearly profits, leaving him with only one penny to his name.

Following a few more visitors that take every last piece of his Christmas, the presents, the nuts, the turkey and even the 'Christmas twig', he retires for the night only to be disturbed by the Spirit of Christmas played by Robbie Coltrane. It's almost a wasted journey for the spirit given that Blackadder is already such a good soul compared to those he tries to win over this time of year, but Blackadder is intruiged when he hears of the horrible nature of his own ancestors and is allowed a vision of them. It's a nice chance to see old favourites like Queenie, Nursie, Lord Melchett and Prince George.

But the strangest sight comes when we take a glimpse at the future of the Blackadder line, some distant science fiction Grand Admiral fighting for the kingdom of Queen Asphyxia XIX. Where the social rank of the Blackadder clan seems to fluctuate some over time, the poor Baldricks never seem to rise above being lowly manservants. If anything, this future Baldrick seems to have only fallen given that he now walks around in nothing more than a jock strap. How very disturbing. If Ebeneezer Blackadder takes on the traits of his ancestors, his descendants can apparently look forward to ruling the Universe as the Grand Admiral murders the Queen's triple husbandoid and marries her. But if he carries on like he is, he's the one in the thong as Baldrick somehow rises to Grand Admiral, a bumbling fool that manages to bomb his own troops.

So, naturally, Ebeneezer sees the 'error of his ways' and is now inspired to only do bad in this world. Starting with Baldrick, to whom he gives a very nice present: a fist.

Blackadder's Christmas Carol is a neat twist on the traditional story, made all the better given the transformation of a character we're so used to seeing be anything but a virtue of goodness. It's very satisfying to see the Blackadder of old emerge and give a sound telling off to all of those that took advantage of his once kind nature, as they come cap in hand expecting another hand out on Christmas Day, they receive little more than a cutting insult or two.

- - - - -

The other special today is The Snowman. A British institution that recieved an Oscar nomination in 1982 and placed in the top five of two lists of the Greatest Christmas Moments, beaten out by such moments as Dirty Den filing for divorce in Eastenders because we love nothing more than a large dollop of misery with our Christmas. The Snowman tells a simple, if not familiar story of a snowman suddenly brought to life.

I really like the look of The Snowman itself, the choice of hat and scarf add this sort of commoness to it. Like, some of the snowmen you see later on are quite extravagantly dressed and when you think of something like Frosty the Snowman, he has a classy top hat. But these look like something an old man might wear.

Though, maybe the boy subconsciously made the snowman after seeing the decorative cake topper they have that looks exactly the same. Bit of a coincidence they happen to have the exact same hat and scarf. And that's a rather large bird if it's to scale.

It's an extremely simple design, just a couple of dots for eyes and a line for a mouth but it can be very expressive which helps immensely since there's no dialogue whatsoever, the only words that come into play are lyrics in the famous 'Walking in the Air' song that plays during one part. I really love this part where the Snowman is basking in the cold of the fridge as someone might conventionally do around a fire. Don't think I've ever seen that idea before, very unique.

The boy is very excited to show his new friend around the house, looking at their Christmas tree and pet cat. He even sneaks into his parents bedroom and lets the Snowman try on some clothes. Bit confused as to why his dad has a full set of dentures though, how old is this guy?

And since the boy was so nice as to show off all his stuff, The Snowman is keen to return the favour as they fly off into the night sky, passing over villages, whales and confused party-goers.

"A flying snowman?! That's it, no more booze."

Aurora Borealis? Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your Christmas Special?!

See what I mean about the clothes? A kilted snowman! I know the tradition goes for a Scotsman to wear nothing under his kilt but you'd hope this guy has some thermals on, it's probably cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey out there.

It's quite a party these snowmen are having. Even Santa is there with his reindeer, giving the boy one of his gifts a little early. I suppose it's only right since it's a scarf, something the boy would so desperately need since he's flying around in what must be horrible weather conditions.

And despite getting to spend a magical evening with his new friend, experiencing things he might have only ever dreamed of, it's tinged with deep and profound sadness the next morning when he awakes and finds The Snowman has melted away, leaving only a watery mound topped with his trademark hat and scarf. A moment made ever bleaker by the vast blanket of snow creating an emptiness only mirrored by the boy's heart, now alone, bereft of his only friend. Wow, that's depressing.

I think I sometimes lack the necessary attention span to go through full length silent movies without getting distracted but in shorts such as this or Mr Bean it's nice too a story being told though other uses of sound or through characters expressions, movements etc. Things look absolutely gorgeous here and it's accompanied by a great musical score.

[King Ellis]

Day 10

Santa Claus (1985)

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Now, technically I'm not entirely out of the woods yet but, given the nature of the last two films I intend to watch, I think I'm fairly safe from the archive footage of It's a Wonderful Life. Granted, I don't think it showed up last year but I'm always a little wary around Christmas movies after it popped up some four times that first year. I suppose it's outing in Gremlins 2 showed us nowhere i safe. But, I digress...

Santa Claus is something of an origin story for Old Saint Nick, a humble woodcutter who takes to whittling small figures to hand out to the local children. Unfortunately, as he, his wife and their two reindeer travel to the next village, they get caught in a vicious storm and look likely to freeze to death.

That is until God himself seemingly intervenes and sends a party of Elves to help him.

Santa being played by The Big Lebowski himself, David Huddleston, and his wife is oddly enough played by Judy Cornwell, perhaps more well known for her turn as 'Daisy' in the British sitcom 'Keeping Up Appearances'. Can't say I was expecting that. Nor the bit part 'Mike' from The Young Ones has as one of the Elves. To be fair, I thought he was dead but apparently he's still alive and well to this very day. Huh.

I don't normally bat an eyelid at depictions of Santa's workshop in stuff like Elf or Rise of the Guardians but seeing it get it's start here, it can come across as kind of creepy. The Elves sort of thrust this whole thing on the unsuspecting Claus, revealing he's now going to be delivering toys to kids all over the world for the rest of time because he and his wife, like the Elves, are now immortal. You have to be grateful to the people that saved your life, sure, but eternal servitude seems a bi much. Surely there's some middle ground to be found?

At least the new digs for Mr and Mrs Claus makes them seem more respectable than the bedroom scenes Cornwell became used to.

Aside from Burgess Meredith and his epic facial hair playing some sort of high authority Elf who decrees that Claus is now 'Santa Claus', the first hour is kinda boring, building up Santa settling into his role, the preparation for Christmas, how his legend grows over the centuries and eventually the prospect of someone serving as his assistant. The Elf 'Patch', played by Dudley Moore, gets the role as he puts into place all sorts of automated systems to produce the toys much quicker than the old fashioned ways. You trying to put your fellow Elves out of work, traitor?!

As the centuries pass and we enter modern day, what better way to indicate our arrival than with some outright blatant product placement for McDonalds? Though, not really the best advert, I'd be a little put off if I was dining in and had to put up with homeless kids staring longingly through the window.

That would be young Joe, sustained only by leftovers put out by a well off young girl (plus a can of Coke caus they gotta get their ad in too). Santa takes pity on him, letting him ride along for a while and even take the reigns of the sleigh. That's admirable but perhaps a sterner approach might have whipped him into shape. I mean, condolences but the bums lost! Get a job, sir! The bum will always lose!

Enter John Lithgow, playing a completely and utterly over the top toy manufacturer having to defend himself in front of Congress over his shoddy toys.

I can understand the odd defect or factory error but how the fuck did your stuffed animals get filled with nails and shards of glass?!

After his automated production leads to his own run of shoddy products being returned en-mass, Patch leaves the North Pole in disgrace and seeks a way to redeem himself in the eyes of Santa. This leads him to New York, where he sees the B.Z Toys products flying off the shelf, no realizing in his naivety that they're actually being recalled. What is it about Elves heading to the big city and being dumb to the real world? Next he'll be stopping in to celebrate the world's best cup of coffee.

He persuades B.Z to let him manufacture, promote and distribute a new product to kids all over the world for free. Initially almost dying from shock at the idea of such a scheme, B.Z comes around on the idea once he realizes the potential good publicity he'll gain and the possibility of putting the price up once people get hooked. Patch even gets his own company vehicle to do the deliveries!

Looks like a more festive version of Noddy.

The product turns out to be a lollipop infused with the same magical ingredient that enables the reindeer to fly, now turning toddlers into amazing slam dunk machines. And with the world so in love with Patch and his confectionery, B.Z aims to strike while the iron is hot. Christmas is too far away, what we need is something much sooner, maybe three months time. This calls for...

CHRISTMAS 2! Danny Trejo's vision has been realized! What a glorious day this is!

I'd have to say that Santa Claus is only O.K, another movie that claws back some kudos from me thanks to one aspect, that being Lithgow as the slimy toy manufacturer. Look how classy this guy is, he drinks his beer from a brandy glass, allowing to appreciate it's rich aroma and full body. As sad as it is to see Patch walk out after letting Santa down, it's can be difficult to feel sorry for a character that has been made insufferable by a script that calls on him to make about five Elf puns every time he's on screen, always talking about 'elf assurance' and 'elf portraits'. It's a wonder 'elf and safety' aren't on him for the faulty toys that fell apart within the first five minutes of use.

[King Ellis]

Day 10

Arthur Christmas (2011)

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Here's an example of Aardman taking a break from the whole claymation thing after all that Morph, Wallace & Gromit, Rex the Runt and Shaun the Sheep stuff. There's something cool about the dedication it takes to produce that sort of stuff but it can't be good for the old sanity, I mean, the production for Wallace & Gromit apparently managed only 1 second of footage per day. Geez...

They're not the only ones flaunting their modern technology though. Lousy, smart alecky kids...

This isn't just a rotund man flying around the world with a bunch of reindeer, they have a great big spaceship with a whole crack team of elves that drop in commando style, complete with all manner of infrared goggles and uber-smart phones that let them scan kids to see if they're naughty or nice, crack door locks and create phantom noise and lights to distract any kids who might be on the brink of discovering Santa.

Santa, poor Santa, the whole thing's kinda passed him by in his advanced years. The whole thing happens pretty much in spite of him and he's only there as a figurehead. It's apt that the title of Santa is passed along each generation like a royal crown because this family really is like the British monarchy.

I'd like to imagine this is how they spend their time, squabbling over board games. You've got the current Santa here who's contributions to the delivery efforts are minimal, pretty much showing up to put down the occasional present and smile politely at the Elf workforce to keep morale up. Steve is the Prince Charles of the affair, growing ever more impatient at his father not knowing when to hang up the suit and abdicate. This whole analogy only goes so far though, I shouldn't think The Queen Mother ever went out joyriding in a Range Rover in the same manner the grandparent depicted here does.

The seething contempt from the common man (Or Elf in this case) is definitely directed at Arthur though. They all adore Santa and respect the work that Steve is doing, but Arthur just seems to be a bumbling buffoon that gets in everyone's way and is shunted from token job to token job just to keep him out of the way.

Just as Santa is about to go rest after another successful year, one so good that it keeps him from retiring yet again, news breaks of a lone gift that has gone undelivered. Arther is eager to get this sorted out and is appalled at his brother's attempts to sweep this under the rug and his Father's willingness to go along with this. C'mon, buddy, one missing present out of however many billion? The Royal Mail could only dream of such efficiency.

Because Arthur believes so much in the season, he stresses over how to put this right and Grandsanta jumps at another opportunity to go back to work. Guy is always itching to take the sleigh out for a ride. Even if he ends up doing it at the most inopportune times, like when he nearly started World War 3 when he went out for a fly during the Cuban Missle Crisis.

I see Patch made it onto the writing team for this one.

They seem to have grasped the general sense of paranoia we're all gripped with these days too and every military force on Earth is scared shitless by this unidentified flying object circling the globe at great speeds. Russia in particular seems horrified. I'm left confused by an incident that's repeatedly brought up in 1816 where Santa was spotted, tracked back to his home and then had to go into hiding for 6 years, effectively cancelling Christmas during that period. How on Earth did they manage that? It probably still took months to travel anywhere by sea back then.

Their quest eventually gets them to the presents destination of Cornwall, England and perhaps the most humble example of product placement I've ever seen. Good old Co-op, long may their dividends keep Niner laced with booze.

I like some of the little touches in this movie, like Steve's facial hair shaped like a Christmas tree or the underside of the ship looking like a night sky, allowing them to stave off sunlight just a few moments longer to make good on this delivery.

Overall, it's a fun movie. Looks bloody lovely too, has a thing for giving everyone huge noses though. Except Mrs Claus, she looks relatively normal and thus, out of place. Arthur himself can be annoying at first as you join in with everyone else rolling their eyes at him getting in the way and being a bit overly nice but he's just trying to uphold the good name of Santa and Christmas and make sure that no one is left out. Santa is really great though, he's everything you'd expect a Santa to be but it's amusing to see him pottering about the place like he's in charge but the only orders he gives are pretty much "Maintain...current...erm..." before losing his train of thought and wandering off.

To be fair, I think I'd get pretty confused with all these different cultures and habits. Like when they get to Germany and we're told that instead of leaving a mince pie for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph, they leave a shoe. What the hell, Germany? What good is one shoe?!

[King Ellis]

Day 12

Joyeux Noel (2005)

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It's hard to imagine that the spirit of Christmas could be found somewhere as brutal as the front line of World War I but 100 years ago it was powerful enough to make these two sides lay down their arms, if only for a brief time, and learn that the men sitting mere feet from them weren't the monsters the propaganda would lead them to believe.

Even the innocent children recite poems calling for the extinction of the German race, slay even every last woman and child so that they may go the way of the Dodo and never rise again.

It seems to be working though, when those that would go on to be so much machine gun fodder buy into the 'home by Christmas' talk and are grinning from ear to ear at the prospect of serving Queen and country.

Events are driven by one Walter Kirchhoff and his wife Anna Sørensen, two famous opera stars. Walter is conscripted and sent to fight in France. Though his wife manages to sweet talk those in charge to getting him the night off on Christmas Eve so that they might entertain them, he is changed by what he is been through. The decadence of those pulling the strings, miles away from those having to sleep in the mud, angers him enough to sneak away back to his fellow soldiers so that he might entertain them instead and give them some brief respite from the horrors they're engaged in.

Back in the trenches, his voice carries to the nearby Scottish and French troops who go so far as to applaud his caroling and even join in by providing the accompaniment with their bagpipes. Walter picks up a Christmas tree that command saw fit to send in their hundreds to the trenches and walks into no mans land as a sign of peace. When his Lieutenant chases him down, his Scottish and French equivalents all join them and discuss a truce for Christmas Eve.

Though there's a sense of tension and unease as the soldiers who but mere hours before had been firing at one another now meet, looking to share gifts and talk of family waiting for them back home, but still a little suspicious and not sure what to make of this bizarre development. Not least one Scottish soldier who has just lost his brother during an assault, clutching a knife as a German approaches him and tries to make merry but backing away when he senses that perhaps this isn't the best time.

At least they find some common ground in a cat that they both think is theirs. Bloody cats, they don't care where they get their food from.

The ceasefire even stretches into Christmas Day, a time for celebrating the arrival of Christ gives way to them burying their dead.

And a little football, why not? Jumpers for goalposts, eh? Marvelous. Naturally, even then the German's were dominant and found little trouble in walking over Scottish opposition.

But when the German side receive word of an artillery attack about to be undertaken on their enemies that threatens to ruin these festivities, they take the unlikely step of offering shelter in their own trench so that their new friends might be safe.

Which really is the ultimate problem with this whole thing, how can you then go back to trying to kill a man you just sat and drunk with? The position of all three sides are left rather untenable as they're hesitant to fight one another and word gets out to those in charge as they look through letters sent back home, leading to units being broken up and sent elsewhere. The Germans particularly punished as they are sent to fight in the chilly climes of Russia.

It's a very touching movie and in the face of so many festive ones about presents and commercialism, you'll probably never find one that so richly embodies the phrase 'goodwill to all men'. It seems redundant to say but it really is crazy to think that that this all happened.

Though, that's mostly down to the involvement of the Scottish lieutenant. I mean, I know what he's he's normally like on Christmas Day...

[King Ellis]

It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! I do have a fairly packed list of what I want to watch but if anyone wants to throw out suggestions, let Poultrygeist and Dr Giggles serve as ample proof that I am willing to give in to peer pressure. Anyway, onwards!

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Day 1

Dracula & Spanish Dracula (Both 1931)

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"Spanish Dracula?!" I hear you cry as you run in terror at the sight of this thread rising once more from the grave like an undead abomination. "What's that then? Some sort of terrible 70's exploitation movie or some sort of dub that leaves Bela Lugosi with a slightly less exotic accent than the one he started with?" Well, not exactly.

Maybe it wasn't a thing back then but rather than just have Spanish audio they actually had a Spanish speaking cast and crew utilize the same sets and costumes as their English speaking counterparts when they were done for the day. Probably not the most cost effective way of doing things but, whether it be down to differing artistic visions or having the chance to go over the English language's shoots and come up with better ways of doing things, this did lead to a rather interesting case of it being viewed by some as the superior version. Seems odd, no?

Well, maybe not to me because I'm not exactly enamored with the 'normal' Dracula. It just have this...goofiness to it. Now, if anything, I love goofiness in a movie. I love The Invisible Man for how utterly crazy and stupid it is at times but here it leaves things looking kinda shitty at times. Far be it from me to bag on the effects in a movie from 1931 but for a movie that spends so much times focusing on bats, they look terrible and there's one scene showing a spider that just looks like someone pulling a crude model with some string. Then there's stuff like all the weird gestures that Dracula makes when he's creeping up on people or the lack of any sort of intensity when he kills off Renfield by throwing him down some stairs, Renfield's body just thudding along like a sack of potatoes.

Renfield actually is one of favourite parts of the movie, it's strange to see Dwight Frye actually act normally at the start of the movie having seen him played the twisted assistants in the first two Frankenstein films. But then he falls under Dracula's spell and becomes a blood thirsty maniac, grovelling at his masters feet just for the chance to devour a mere insect. There's a shot of him being found as the only living soul on the boat that docks in England, a hatch opens and he can be seen peering up with a crazed look in his eyes and a wicked smile on his face. Amazing.

Not that he's any match for the patented Lugosi stare though which is used in abundance and is equally as amazing.

The literal overnight transformation of Renfield is another source of disappointment though,  the unease he feels when he arrives in this foreign land and meets this mysterious Count. It would have been interesting to see more interaction between the two but he's barely there 5 minutes before Dracula sinks his fangs in and Renfield has already gone mad by the very next scene and they're on their way to Whitby.

Which is the other thing I love about Dracula. All these glamorous locations in the world and Dracula wants to go to Whitby, popular childhood seaside holiday resort. What does it say about your parents when they want to take you to the same place as one of fictions greatest monsters?

But, getting to the Spanish version, it is a very strange experience to watch a film like this. I mean, whilst we have remakes and even shot-for-shot remakes like 1998's Psycho, it's not the same as actually seeing the same exact location or even the same exact footage in some scenes. It makes for a fun game to spot any Lugosi footage they figured they could get away with whenever Dracula is relatively far away. This whole thing is probably exacerbated by the fact I watched these pretty much back to back and, to be fair, it does wear off as time goes on.

In terms of this one being more cinematic or what have you, I don't think I necessarily have an eye for this sort of thing but there are some noticeable things, like when Renfield first meets Dracula, in the English version it's just a still shot, whereas the Spanish one is more sweeping as it moves up the stairs and closes in on Dracula himself. Makes things feel a little more in a setting that is anything but after decades of decay. Overall, there are some shots that look better but then there's a lot of times where the camera keeps zooming out from the actors, like the cameraman is just bored and decided to walk off. Just seems a little odd.

The start of the movie with Dracula/Renfield isn't really expanded per se, the movie is longer so I was hoping it would be, but it does really help sell the fear Renfield has by upping all the weird shit going on. Like there's a lot of doors that just open and close by themselves that I don't recall from the English version. Plus the poisoning scene works better as well as it actually does seem like something is wrong with Renfield as he starts loosening his collar, gasping for breath etc rather than just opening an window and collapsing.
 

The subsequent boat scene is amazing as well, just for the sheer terror that the sailors are gripped by when they hear the maniacal laugh of Renfield and see Dracula emerging from his crate. Then, once they reach England and the dead sea men are discovered, it is said they are 'frozen at the wheel' as if they died of fright, rather than being 'tied to the wheel by rope' as in the English version. That's a nice change and I can fully believe that their hearts all probably exploded or something. Just look at that guys face!

Dracula is still kinda goofy but in a different way, there's less of the theatrics with the hands and arms but the one spends a lot of the time grinning like a loon.

I feel like this Spanish version still has some issues but it has added a few details here and there which help things make a bit more sense and just improve things in general. Like, Reinfeld being killed lacks some sound effects would have given it a bit more 'oomph' but this time they just forego the whole 'falling down the stairs' thing but having Dracula throwing off the side to the ground below which is a little more bad ass. The show down between Dracula and Van Helsing is better as well, when Dracula is trying to control him but Van Helsing is able to resist. Ending still sucks though, it's not very dramatic having someone open a box and stab someone whilst they're a sleep. A bit unsporting, really.

 

[King Ellis]

Day 2

Army of Darkness (1992)

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After that whole 'Stephen King/Sequels' thing that I had going on in October 2013, we're going back to a gimmick of sorts but nothing that's going to dominate the entire month like that did. A few days out of the month I'll be paying homage to the various little 'themes' I came up with during my '365 films in 365 days' adventure to either shake things up a little or just focus on some films I wanted to see. 'Franchise Friday' was a way of either finally dipping into a film series that had long eluded me (Star Wars, Lethal Weapon, Rush Hour etc) or finishing off a series I had maybe only seen the first one or two movies (X-Men, Spider-Man, Bill & Ted etc). 'Shcwarnegger Saturday' is pretty self explanatory, as is 'Super(hero) Sunday', not that I can think of too many horror movies that fit those last two but I have a few things in mind. Then a late entrant was movies based on Roald Dahl books, BFG would have been a good fit here because that is a genuinely scary film but I already watched that. But there is another...

'Franchise Friday' is an easy one though as there's any number of horror series that I've partially seen or haven't picked up on at all and we start with one I'm finishing off. Well, I guess that's not strictly true since there's that remake and the TV show spinoff coming soon...

Not that I was ever the biggest fans of the other Evil Dead movies but at least we start out here getting away from that damn cabin for once. I do like me some time travel movies so that's good too, especially when you get this future technology thrown into a world where it doesn't belong.

These Street Fighter bonus stages are getting a bit weird nowadays...

Oh, that's nice, you've got swords, shields and suits of armour. Well Ash has a chainsaw for an arm.

And, of course, his BOOMSTICK.

Actually, Ash is looking a lot like Derrick Bateman here. Bruce Campbell would be the best possible Ethan.

Maybe the effects aren't always the strongest, like all the little Ash's and their efforts to make the real one swallow one of their brethren. I'm being a little harsh there as it's just this one moment here that looks iffy, the rest of that scene is fine.

Gotta love that stop motion for the finale though, armies of the living and the dead clashing head on, pretty epic. Even if the humans are pretty dumb. Hitting a skeleton with a sword? Siccing your archers on them? What good is that going to do? There's not no flesh to slice, no vital organs to puncture...it's just going to glance off the bone.

Oh wait, forget fire arrows, Ash helped them make explosive arrows with his Chemistry 101 text book.

KABOOM! Awesome.

[MalaCloudy Black]

Army of Darkness is an all-time favorite movie for me.

[Monkey D. Lars]

Yeah! Ellis his Halloween Movie Thing is back!

[King Ellis]

Yes yes, Larz. You may have to wait a year for the next Oktoberfest but hopefully Halloweenfest will ease your pain.

---

Day 3

Maggie (2015)

---

So, yeah, kind of a limited field when it comes to Arnie and horror. You've got End of Days (what bigger villain is there than the Devil?) and you can make an argument that Terminator is just a high tech slasher movie, but other than that? *shrugs*

But here comes 2015 to the rescue with Arnie all set to duke it out with scores of the undead. Arnie and zombies, together at last! Let the destruction of the brain and bad puns commence!

Except, no. This isn't the Arnold of yesteryear, as Bennett told him in Commando, he's getting old. Let the actors of this generation handle all the explosions and crazy stunts, he wants to settle down and finally show off his acting chops. This is a much more personal piece about a family struggiling to come to terms with their little girl turning into one of the walking undead. I suppose it's nice to see a bit of diversity from him for a change, even if he can't fully shake off that tough guy persona. You're still going to see him get into the odd scuffle but now is remorseful for having to do so. Could have used that attitude a little earlier, buddy, but I guess when you start getting up to 81 people in a single film, it probably loses any emotional weight after the first 5 or so.

Who can kill a child?

Abigail Breslin is no stranger to starring in a zombie movie of course, though she's on the other side of it now she's the one with the infection. They do some nice make up work with her gradual transformation.

Just going by my tastes though, I preferred 'Life After Beth' when it comes to the 'My daughter is a teenage zombie' story. You don't have to put up with Joely Richardson's sour face in that one, for one thing.

It's not the lact of action that is the biggest disappointment though, the real Maggie zombie movie should be the return of The Iron Lady. "This lady is for turning and the milk of every child in Britain is no longer enough to sate her. Now she's out for their blood!"

Too soon? Maybe not because it looks like someone already made that into a comic. Huh...

 

(Apologies to Hammy if that image is too upsetting for him)

 

[King Ellis]

Day 4

Swamp Thing (1982)

---

Swamp Thing is a DC Comics property that would go on to have a TV show and cartoon in the 90's along with toys, video games...the whole nine yards. This movie came earlier on and there was second one made as well, I guess, I don't really care.

Comic books, some kind of monster that looks like someones shoddy attempt at a gill man outfit for Halloween and it's even written and directed by the late Wes Craven so it fits the bill for this list. I'd have been better off watching anything else by him.

I have as much an idea as to what the villains 'evil dream' was now as I did when I first read this at the start of the movie.

Not even the greatness of Ray Wise can save us here.

It's just so intensely boring, it takes an age for the Swamp Thing to even show up and when he does it's not like he even does anything interesting. He just throws goons around.

The female lead in this is more of a threat. To the nards!

Swamp Thing then gets his arm cut off which is notable because he spends however long in direct sunlight with no obvious effect.

But when he gets captured and stretches to reach his hand into the slightest hint of sunlight, his arm magically grows back. Bullshit.

Then the villain decides to drink this potion stuff because he thinks it will make him into a super genius but it just turns him into this weird boar looking thing. Don't ask me. It's funny though because you'd think he'd have a lot of strength or whatever being this 6ft+ hulking pig creature and would just go around clubbing people, but he still picks up a sword before he confronts Swampy and ends up stabbing the girl.

I only mention that because otherwise it just looks like Swampy is copping a feel here. He's just healing her wound, honest!

Who am I kidding, he's a dirty perv. He even watches her bathing in the swamp. This one is kinda funny because apparently this scene got left in a PG version they released on DVD and it caused quite a shit storm. You know those parents, hideous green monster going around attacking people. Fine. Nipples? Outrage.

Thankfully he wrestles away the sword and puts us all out of our misery by slaying the pig man. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

TL;DR, this movie blows. Whilst it does pick up toward the end when vaguely interesting and amusing stuff actually starts happening, you'd have lost interest way before then, if not fallen asleep entirely.

 

[GhostMachine]

You definitely need to watch the sequel....

[King Ellis]

Day 5

The Witches (1990)

---

Meanwhile, somewhere in Norway (for some reason), which also looks like it's playing host to a Hovis commercial, a little boy is told a fantastical tale of witches abducting a little girl, only to banish her to a painting for the rest of her life, growing old within it before disappering entirely.

Creepy.

There's witches all over the world you see, every nation has it's own chapter. "And the leader of all the witches is the most evil woman in creation." Actually, I think the internet has since bestowed that mantle onto Anita Sarkeesian.

Granny is looking after little Luke because his parents are going out for the evening. Oh boy, we all know where this is going. I've seen Batman...

Well shit, who saw this one coming? And only a car accident too. What’s the matter, Dahl, no rhinos around to gobble them up?

We all know 'stranger danger' right? Don't let creepy men lure you into their vans with promises of toys, candy or puppy dogs. Witches don't roll that way. "Come here little boy, I have a snake for you."

As if that isn't bad enough, granny is struck down with 'a very mild case of diabetes'. Don't worry though, a few days rest and you'll be right as rain. Just cut out all sugars and take a nice trip to the seaside. Lady, do you know what they sell at the seaside? All that ice cream, candy floss and rock, it's a veritable mine field for the Wilfred Brimley's of the world.

In order to put all this unpleasantness behind them, they do take that trip and book into a nice hotel where the manager is played by...Rowan Atkinson? Score!
Which is also playing host to the annual meeting of the RSPCC. Not that you would ever suspect they are actually a front for...

WITCHES!

The great visuals on the witches is one thing but the amazingly over the top performance from Anjelica Huston is something else. Just amazing. Also, I had to really force myself not to correct the spelling of both her fore and surname.

She just hates kids so very much that she is she planning to murder every last one of them in England by means of buying up every sweet shop in the country and administering a poison through them that turns people into mice. It didn't occur to me at the time quite how she gathered the funds for such a plan but I guess she embezzled it all from the RSPCC? I mean, that's pretty twisted in and of itself but did the RSPCC really sign off on this? It's one way to raise your profile, I suppose...

And if that genocidal plan is just too subtle, you can always just try and push a pram over a cliff.

Unfortunately for Luke, they catch him snooping on their plans and give him a dosage in the realms of 500 strength. So to save every child in the nation, he concocts a scheme to beat them at their own game and put the potion in their meal that night.

Hey, I know this movie, this is the one where he controls the chef's body by pulling his hair and they go on to become a Michelin star restaurant, right?

Presented without context...

Luke the mouse also manages somehow to steal the crate of money the grand witch had. That's some pretty counterfeit looking money there. You know, they missed a trick by not calling them Witch dollars. And every Witch dollar will be worth five British pounds. That is the exchange rate that the Bank of England will implement after the witches threaten to turn William and Harry into mice.

What's also in that crate is the grand witches little black book. No, not her list of booty calls, but the name and address of of every witch in the United States of America. I'm surprised they had any left after all those trials...

I suppose America isn't the worst place in the world for a mouse. After all...

[King Ellis]

Day 6

The Terror (1963)

---

As is tradition, any and all 'The' movies must be immediately followed by a second 'The' movie. It may have only cost me 25p from my local CEX and the case may be partially smashed up but, damnit, it's Jack Nicholson and KARLOFF! That's a winning combination if ever I heard one.

The story goes that whilst Roger Corman, noted director of what is probably now only the second worst Fantastic Four movie, was directing one of his run of Edgar Allan Poe inspired movies, he had a bit of downtime and all of these sets to use so...random new movie!I do still need to see his version of The Raven though. KARLOFF, Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, a young Jack Nicholson again...

You know who else is in this movie? Dick Miller. You think Joe Dante cast Dick Miller in a lot of movies? Miller's filmography from 56 through 63, all Corman.

It does make sense that he'd want to get his money's worth from these sets, they all look very nice and KARLOFF's Baron character has a castle that has well dressed rooms and grand staircases but also dank, dark crypts. And Jack Nicholson plays some sort of lost French officer, because isn't he the first thing that springs to mind when casting a French soldier? He spends the entire movie wondering what the hell is going on and I sympathize with him. Ghosts, witches, love affairs, murders...the whole thing makes very little sense and it's not surprising as what plot they did have was probably written on the back of a napkin or something. We're not through name dropping yet. In order to try and stitch something together from the rush job of two days of filming there were a number of people brought in, Francis Ford Coppola among st them.

Of course the biggest star on show here is the hawk. They just love showcasing this thing and you can often hear it squawking away. It even gets the best kill of the movie. True it's probably also the only kill in the movie but still...

Not the eyes!

So, yeah, the movie isn't great in terms of actually watching it but it's an interesting novelty in terms of seeing two actors crossing paths at two different extremes of their careers. That and all this behind the scenes stuff just borders on the absurd. I mean, it's Wikipedia page claims that even Nicholson's costume was just a hand-me-down previously used by Marlon Brando.

I guess in all the confusion though, Corman forgot to even copyright the thing so you can online and watch it right now for free, both in terms of your wallet and your guilt. What a waste of my 25p! Whether you'd necessarily want to watch it though...that's a different story.

 

[King Ellis]

Day 7

The Terror (1999)

---

There's probably an argument that I'm not really doing too well on the whole horror side of this but on my lists there's always been some scope for these type of 'monster' movies. Who needs another shitty shark movie when you can have a shitty croc movie?!

We star innocently enough when a Fish and Game officer is out on the lake in order monitor the local beaver population (not a euphemism) when he can't help but get the feeling he's in the middle of a tired cliche of someone being stalked from behind.

It's not enough that the movie gives tricks us with one false jump scare of a friendly turtle swimming by, they have to do again with a beaver! Third time's the charm though and we're off to the races when Mr Crock makes himself known by nibbling on this frogman.

Suddenly he's not half the man he used to be.

Kelly Scott is a paleontologist in the middle of a complicated office romance love triangle and is sent on a bullshit assignment to look at the crocodile's tooth because someone things it could be prehistoric. Except, I don't think that's ever mentioned again. This really is like all those shitty shark movies, having to bring in all these prehistoric species just to have enough material to keep pumping these things out. This croc attack all took plaice in Maine by the way so not only do they have to put up with Stephen King unleashing killer clowns, rabid dogs and tentacle monster obscuring weather phenomenon, now they have to put up with 30ft reptiles as well.

So Kelly, a local sheriff and another Fish and Game officer played by Bill Pullman all head out to the lake where they meet an old lady that lives there played by Betty White. It's here we get a story just out of the blue about how she euthanized her husband. Well that's odd and little off tone but how did she do it? Drugs? Smothering. "I bashed his head in with a skillet." It's by this point that you realize that no one in this movie has that filter in between their brain and their mouth that stops them from saying half the shit that pops into their head.

No one is a better example of that though than eccentric billionaire Hector Cyr. Huzzah, it's Porthos! Maybe the Musketeers are coming to solve this problem? This guy really seems to get off on calling the sheriff fat but he's no size zero himself.

We've all got our own little quirks and I suppose you would probably need to keep going to extreme lengths to get your kicks when you're uber rich but I'd still question wanting to go frolic around with a creature that decapitates one of the sheriff's deputies. I'd have sympathy for the guy but he forgot the number one rule in a time of crisis: never lose your head.

Kelly explains that it's not that crazy really since cultures since the dawn of time have worshiped the crocodile. There's probably some truth to that considering that Betty White is even offering up sacrifices to it. What's that old saying, you can lead a cow to water but you can't make it walk into the gaping maw of a crocodile?

Of course Hector doesn't condone killing this beast that has already developed a taste for human blood, we've got to save it so we can put it in a nature reserve or something ridiculous. The best way to do that is, naturally, to take his helicopter, strap in a cow and lower it into the water as bait. I can imagine Richard Branson and Donald Trump doing the same thing on a weekend. Well, Trump would probably use fresh Mexican immigrants he picked up from the parking lot of a hardware store.

And Bill Pullman is ready to to tranq it's ass when it comes up for it's meal. You think your little dart can pierce it's leathery hide?! Thing must be several inches thick, man. This calls for something much stronger, use the Schwartz!

 

[King Ellis]

Day 8

Oculus (2013)

 

---

Oh hey, it's that WWE movie that's meant to be good and actually made some money. Not that things didn't start out relatively bright for WWE Studio's with See No Evil and The Marine before tapering off slightly with The Condemned and 12 Rounds. Things really took a nose dive with Legendary though. And as for Knucklehead and it's $1000 domestic box office?

Nuff said.

Are these things just Vince's tax write offs or something? Surely it'd just be quicker and easier to put this money directly in toilet and cut out the middle man. Or, hell, just bring back Million Dollar Mania.

At this point I think they either had less sway or had just realized that crow-barring on of their Superstars into the project wasn't a surefire way to success so no token appearance for the likes of Randy Orton, The Miz or...Brodus Clay here. How did he get a movie anyway?

Though, a concept like this was surely calling out for a Hulk Hogan cameo, brother. By the way, if you're reading this Mr Hogan, I know you're not a racist. Booker T is your best friend! Can I get a re-blog?!

But hey, this movie does have Amy Pond herself, Karen Gillian, and Speedle! Or possibly Lucas, it depends on which reference is stronger. Speedle has had less of a lasting impact on me but Lucas was more of an annoying, pompous ass so they both kind of cancel each other out.

It only took me 8 days but Oculus has finally given me a movie that's intense, suspenseful and gripping. A mysterious antique mirror has for centuries been linked with the death of numerous people including the parents of our two main characters, Kaylie and Tim, and now 11 years on they're back to find out what the hell is going on. There's no rhyme or reason for these occurrences, no explanation as to where the mirror came from or how these things are happening, but we get a glimpse into it's history and the grizzly tales surrounding it.
Things can get disorientating thanks primarily to the way the story likes to switch back and force between events now and in Kaylie and Tim's past.

But there's a lot of quiet moments as well to build up the tension and tricks being played that lead to some nasty results...

It's an enjoyable watch...perhaps too enjoyable. I mean, here I am watching something more akin with actual horror and it's a well received WWE movie? There's clearly some sort of trickery afoot, perhaps my own evil mirror will make me watch Leprechaun Origins now as penance.

 

[King Ellis]

Day 9

The Exorcist III (1990)

---

Bearing in mind that the second Exorcist movie was a mess that verges on the un-watchable, I was naturally slightly apprehensive ahead of this third movie. But, I thought this one was OK. It's a little slow in places but overall quite enjoyable. A lot more humour in it than I was expecting though, but I guess any humour whatsoever would be more than you expect from an Exorcist movie.

A lot of that comes from the friendship between Lieutenant William F. Kinderman (played by George C. Scott) and Father Dyer (played by Ed Flanders)...

Hi-diddly-ho, exorcismerino!

Even though they're often sniping back and forth at each other, that doesn't stop them from taking in a movie as they seek to cheer themselves up on the anniversary of the passing of Father Karass in the first movie. And what movie do they see?

Goddamnit, it got me when I was least expecting it!

Things can get pretty weird too, like this dream sequence in which Kinderman pictures this sort of departure lounge for the dead as they await their journey to heaven. You know this must be a fucking dream, there's a fucking dwarf in it! Two of them!

The story going on here is a series of murders taking place under strange, freaky circumstances. Like, decapitation is bad enough but then you have a 12 year old boy being decapitated and his head being replaced with that of the head of Jesus taken from a statue. Oh, and someone put the Jesus head in blackface.

Just a lot of little details that all point to a killer who has already been killed and executed from some fifteen years. Like, how the killer would always leave messages but any word with one l, he'd double up.

Son of a bitch! They did it again! But honestly, what kind of asshole would put two l's into everything? Eh, @Hurricane LL

The reason how someone could seemingly be killing from beyond the grave? Kinda bullshitty but it does give us James Venamun, played by Brad Dourif, who is amazing. Always going on these long rants that flip between chilling and explosive rage. He also voice Chucky in Child's Play.

Pretty nasty murder weapon being used in this movie as well.

Its like something out of Clock Tower.

 

[LL!]

Don't include me in your stupid things!

[King Ellis]

Day 10

The Babadook (2014)

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I've touched upon previously the fact that these October marathons are becoming something of a multi cultural affair for me in recent years. I've had movies from France, Holland, Spain...the list goes on. So far this year I feel I've been a little lacking in this regard, sure there was Spanish Dracula but I'm not really sure what you'd class that as. Then The Witches had more of a British flavour to it but it's probably still classed as American. This one however? Very much Australian.

You can tell by the fact they've got Skippy on the telly. What's that, Skip? This movie is rated 98% on Rotten Tomatoes? Number 10 best horror movie of all time? Mad Max Fury Road is number 2? Well, that last one is a little strange but this is clearly something we gotta see! I never actually pictured any Aussies actually watching Skippy, I just assumed it was one of those things the rest of the world got and assumed Aussies watched 24 hours a day but actually they're just slightly embarrassed by the whole thing, like Neighbours or Home and Away.

And they're throwing shrimp on the barbie! Wait, that's not shrimp...that's Mister Babadook!

Now, kids like a bit of a scare, right? I mean, Disney has built an empire off that. Give them a bit of a scare, maybe the main character's mother or father gets killed off but everything turns out fine in the end so everyone goes home happy. Well forget that, this is Mister Babadook. This is pop-up noir.

Ceiling Babadook is watching you...Just look at that thing. LOOK AT IT. Oh my God...it's the sheer terror on the kids face that really sells it.

This just sends this kid completely over the edge. He's already doing the whole 'monster in the closet/under the bed' thing which is normal but then he's making weapons, setting traps. He's pretty annoying but it's an annoyingness that serves a purpose, his widowed mother just can't handle his behaviour and is slowly undergoing a breakdown because of it.

Paranoia, insomnia...this lady is just losing it in a major way.

But so would you if you were sent a revised version of the book like she was...

Shiiiiiiiiit.

Really love the creepy artwork in that book Awesome film all round really, definitely worth checking out. It's on Netflix in both the UK and US. Maybe some other places too, I don't care. Anyone outside those countries is pretty irrelevant TBH.

[King Ellis]

Day 11

Arachnophobia (1990)

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Before we get started, I wanted to comment on what an eerily beautiful poster that is. Shitty tagline though. “Eight legs, two fangs and an attitude”?

Anyway, you know how I was calling Exorcist II unwatchable? This is very much the same. Now, where that movie is unwatchable due to it’s incomprehensible plot and bizarre imagery, this is because I spent the entire time on edge, sick to my stomach and watching with my vision obscured by my own fingers.

Not that this doesn’t have it’s flaws, it’s your average ‘natural monster’ movie with a tendency towards the cheap jump scare with a spider leaping out of nowhere or dropping down with it’s webbing. It’s a fairly dull affair for the most part, some sort of hybrid super spider and it’s offspring slowly killing off the folks of a small town, the type where everyone knows everyone else and they don’t take too kindly to this new hotshot city doctor coming in and spreading his wild theories.

Whilst there is a certain light heartedness to it, it lacks the far out absurdity of Eight Legged Freaks and I found more humour in some of the other recent movies I’ve seen like Lake Placid or The Witches.

The story goes that scientists are exploring some Venezuelan jungle in the search of new species. This involves spraying some sort of chemical which they equate to dropping a cherry bomb in a lake to bring up all the fishes. Sure enough, all manner of butterflies and other bugs start falling from the canopy.

That includes several large spiders. God, even dead they’re horrific.

Except, they’re not dead. They prove very resilient and sneak their way back to camp, one of them sinking it’s fangs into the group’s photographer who ends up being shipped home in a box. Complete with stowaway…

Welp, that little bloodsucker did a real number on him. This beast then makes it way across town to the residence of Doctor Jennings, does the nasty with some house spider and they create all sorts of super potent offspring.

The only thing that comes close to being as scary in this movie is Meat Loaf in gym shorts.

Wait a minute, that’s not even Meat Loaf. Just looking it up, it would appear to be Peter Jason who has been in a few movies I’ve seen like They Live and Mortal Kombat, just obviously not to a degree that has left a lasting impression.

But that does segue into the scene where his daughter is taking a shower and gets assaulted by one of these foul arachnids.

Spider motorboating!

I’d say this only picks up with about 30-40 minutes remaining, when the more skeptical townsfolk start to come around on this wild idea of killer spiders. They’re just lucky it’s not their home being swarmed by these little fuckers.

Great, now every little sign of movement I see out of the corner of my eye or any slight disturbing of my skin is gonna have me jump out of it.

Could have done with more of John Goodman, dual poison gas wielding exterminator though.

Dr Jennings taking a sick bump from his landing, through the floor to his wine cellar is pretty epic though. This is where he enters his final showdown…

On the one hand, there’s something not very cinematic about watching someone flail wildly as they try to shake off something you can barely see.

But some of these close ups are pretty cool…and utterly terrifying.

Guy has some pretty sick skills to hit a flaming spider mid-air with a nail gun though. Boy, that’s a sentence I never thought I’d have to type.

Probably not one to seek out for your own Halloween movie adventures but, when you’re an arachnophobia like Dr Jennings and I, this will disturb you just as much as Mister Badabook.