WWE - November 2003

[maddog]

Get rid of him after the Program.

[D-Extreme]

Give him the boot after the rumble...thats what I think.

I dont think he will appreciate OVW anyways if you put him there.

[stonecoldfan12345]

Yea, let him finish the tag team program, then, if OVW isn't going to help him any, give him the boot. I, in the beginning, thought Nathan was gonna be really big, but, in the end, wasn't really all that impressive to me, so, whatever floats your boat, really. lol.

[Essa]

WWE VELOCITY

AIRED SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 29

KICKING OFF THE VELOCITY GM TOURNAMENT

After the obnoxiously loud pyro goes off, the Velocity music starts playing again leading to the two Velocity announcers coming out to the ring. Bill DeMott and Josh Mathews are all smiles while they wave to the fans and slap hands with them all. But DeMott's smile seems a whole lot more wicked than Josh's. They step into the ring, instead of going to their broadcasting position. The two men absorb some cheers, until Josh calls for a microphone.

Josh Mathews: Tonight it all starts Bill. Your brainchild, the triple elimination Velocity General Manager's Tournament starts tonight. But before it gets underway, I've just got to ask you, why make it a triple elimination tournament?

Bill DeMott: Because Josh, I really want to find the best wrestler on Velocity to be the General Manager. And since everyone, but me of course, has bad days every now and then, I decided to make the tournament triple elimination, just to avoid the bad day factor.

Josh Mathews: Good point, Bill. Now the one question that's been on my mind, and all of Velocity's fans minds, is who are your two surprise entrants into this tournament? We already know about Funaki, Hardcore Holly, Mark Henry, Paul London, Akio, and Johnny Stamboli, but there are two more that we are in the dark about. Care to shed some light on the situation for us Bill?

Bill DeMott: Well kid I can tell you this. I can tell you that one of the mystery entrants is a world class athlete, having won titles in the United States, Europe and even Japan. He's a former two time United States Heavyweight Champion.

Josh Mathews: And he's coming here to Velocity! And, the other entrant?

Bill DeMott: Oh, him? He's just some Tough Enough loser that somehow ended up getting an announcer's contract.

Josh Mathews: Well that's... wait, what's going on?

Bill DeMott: Ring the bell.

Overall: 58

Bill DeMott vs Josh Mathews

Velocity GM Tournament

Josh Mathews looks around the ring confused, until he gets folded up like an accordion by a massive short arm clothesline from Bill DeMott. Bill DeMott yanks Mathews up by his spiked hair. DeMott does his signature laugh, before calling Mathews a punk, and a Tough Enough loser. DeMott then gutwrenches Mathews and hits him with a sick looking stacked up powerbomb! DeMott has him in a pinning predicament, but he breaks up the pin and climbs up onto the top turnbuckle. DeMott chuckles for a second, before leaping backwards and hitting the No Laughing Matter moonsault. He then just covers Mathews with a lateral press.

One

Two

Three

Bill DeMott defeats Josh Mathews

OR: 62

CR: 59

MQ: 66

*

Akio w/ Kyo Dai Hardcore Holly

Velocity GM Tournament

Before the festivities begin, "Watch Me Now, I am the Greatest!" is heard on the PA system, leading to "The Cat" Ernest Miller dancing his way out to the commentary table. I guess DeMott was too winded to do commentary after that classic.

Ernest Miller: The Cat is here on Velocity evrehbody! And I just gots to know, why is dis punk wit no funk Joshy Mathews in this tourneyment? They shoulda been pickin me. I'da been dancin all over that Billy boy 'n I'd be da new Geral Manager. But is too late now. An' up next we got that Harcore mackdaddy Bob Holly an' that Japaniard. Was his name? Nintendo? Honda? Tonto? I dunno, but les go to the ring turkays!

Well, if the in ring action this week won't keep you all entertained, The Cat on commentary certainly... won't either. Anyway, Hardcore Holly and Akio are wrestling in the second match of the Velocity General Manager's tournament. Akio decides to start the match off on the defensive, and letting Holly come to him. That proves to be a pretty bad move because almost immediately Hardcore engulfs Akio with a flurry of stiff forearms to the face and then clubs to the back that turn Akio's yellow skin red. Holly has Akio in the ring ropes and is absolutely pummeling the kid. Holly breaks for a second at the request of the referee, but Akio turns around and tries to hightail it out of there. He gives new meaning to the Suicide Dive as he literally tries to dive through the middle rope to get out of harms way. But Holly grabs Akio's legs, and spreads them far apart. Holly is about to punt him in the balls, but Akio somehow manages to pull Holly forward using his leg strength and dump him over the top rope and to the floor. Holly gets up to his feet on the outside and he's shocked. So is Akio, judging by the look on his face. Holly goes to get back in the ring, but on the outside Tajiri and Sakoda pounce, each grabbing one of Holly's arms. Akio sees the opening, and bounces off the ropes on the far side to gather momentum and then launches himself over the top ropes, without even touching the top rope, and hits a picture perfect senton onto Holly, Sakoda and Tajiri!

Sakoda picks up the stunned Holly and goes to whip him into the stairs, but Akio stops him and rolls Holly into the ring. Akio then slides into the ring and hops on top of Holly, hooking both legs.

One

Holly powers out, and Akio's strategy of squeaking one out just isn't going to work. Holly and Akio get back up to their feet at about the same time, and Akio attempts to hit a dropkick on Holly, but Holly swats him right out of the air. Akio quickly scurries right back up and turns right into Holly's world reknowned Dropkick. Holly quickly pops up to his feet and holds his arms out in the direction of Sakoda and Tajiri. Holly yells out "Howdya like me now?," and then turns around. Akio goes for a sunset flip on Holly, but before he can land, Holly lifts him up on his back, rearranges him a little and then drills him with an Alabama Slam.

One

Two

Three

Hardcore Holly defeats Akio

OR: 62

CR: 50

MQ: 75

*1/2

Ernest Miller: Tha Hardco' Holly just kick a little bit'ta ass right there and now Shakiro is losin one outta three baby. Somebody better call his momma! And why you at it, call up Paul Lunnons momma too cause up next hes gonna be goin toe to chin wit Da Worlds Funkiest Man, Mark Henraaaaay.

Mark Henry and Paul London size each other up, with Henry basically laughing in the face of the smaller London. The size and power difference between the two combatants is immediately exposed when they lock up, with Henry forcing London down to one knee, and elbowing the young Cruiserweight on the shoulder to knock him fully down to the mat. The 'World's Strongest Man' continues with his assault, dropping a knee to the ribs of the youngster, obviously without going to the mat, as he probably wouldn't be able to get up again. Henry then picks London up, and delivers one of his trademark Powerslams. Henry covers London.

One

Two

London barely manages to kick out at two. Henry uses London's longish hair to get him back to his feet, and whips London into one of the turnbuckles. Henry tries to follow up with an avalanche in the corner, but his slow speed means that London is able to get out of the way in time. London tries to stun the big man with some right hands, but Henry is able to easily shrug them off without much of a worry, and then delivers a huge clothesline that sends London spiralling to mat. The crowd don't seem to be getting into the match at all, but Henry continues his assualt with some more right hands that knock London down. Henry then bounces off the ropes to nail the Big Splash, sending all 300+ pounds of his body crashing down onto London's. Henry covers again.

One

Two

Henry yanks London up by his hair, and he's just toying with the kid now. Henry picks London up to his feet, and delivers the World's Strongest Slam to the already defeated London. Henry covers him once again.

One

Two

Three

Henry mockingly wipes a bit of sweat from his forehead after the match, and flicks it down at his defeated opponent.

Mark Henry defeats Paul London

OR: 69

CR: 65

MQ: 74

*3/4

FULL BLOODED VELOCITY?

We go backstage into a room where we see all three members of the Full Blooded Italians, Nunzio, Johnny Stamboli and Chuck Palumbo in their locker room. Chuck Palumbo has his hands up, with Stamboli throwing punches at his hands.

Nunzio: Johnnay-boy, tonight'sa important for'a FBI. Just think'a what we can get done if you win this tournament. Tha FBI in charg'a Velocity. Fugetabout wrestlin' Johnny. I'm talkin' placin bets and kickin ass every single Sattaday night. Chahear me Johnnayboy?

Johnny Stamboli: Yeah I hear you.

Nunzio: An' Johnnay, just thinka how happy you gonna make tha boss when they find out about us takin over the show.

Johnny Stamboli: Us?

Nunzio: Don't you go gettin all selfish on us now Bull. Were a team Johnnay, all three of us. Just think'a it as you doin' our dirty work. That's why da Boss hired ya, rememba Johnnay? You're da muscle.

Chuck shoots Nunzio a glare.

Nunzio: Da two'a'ya are the muscle of the FBI... 'n' I'm the brains. Ya can count on me Johnnay, I'll make sure ya come out on top.

Johnny Stamboli: Just leave it to me.

Stamboli then punches Chuck Palumbo's hand as hard as he can. Chuck grabs his hand with his other hand, while Stamboli just walks out of the room.

Overall: 62

Ernest Miller: Well it looks ta me like Mistah Stromboli wants ta beat up Smackdown's nummah one two three four or fivth jappie wrassler!

Stamboli comes out with Nunzio and Chuck Palumbo at his side. Stamboli is wearing a pair of sunglasses, and them buttoned down white windbreakers. Wait, he just ripped them off so he's standing there in his black undies with FBI embroidered in Green, Red, and White on his tuckus.

Then the oriental sounding music that we all know and love rings through the arena meaning that either Akio, Sakoda, Tajiri, Funaki, or Ultimo Dragon are coming out to the ring. Turns out to be Funaki. Funaki hustles down to the ring, but there's a welcoming committee waiting for him. Funaki ducks underneath a haymaker from Palumbo. Funaki then barely dodges a dropkick from Nunzio, that accidentally connects with Palumbo. Funaki looks on with a smile at his not-so-handywork, before sliding in the ring.

But that doesn't work out in his favor because right away Stamboli is putting the boots to him. Funaki battles up to his feet, and then hits a boot to the gut of Stamboli. Funaki then bounces himself off the ropes, and goes for a crossbody on Stamboli, but Stamboli counters it into a quick powerslam. Stamboli goes for the cover.

One

Funaki kicks out quickly, but it seems like it was more on reflex than anything else because he was still down after the kickout. Stamboli violently yanks Funaki up by his arm, and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound Stamboli snatches Funaki up and hits him with a loud backbreaker, before scooping him up again, and slamming him near the corner. Stamboli then turns towards the corner, and in one quick motion he jumps up to the top turnbuckle, and jumps off, turns around and hits a legdrop to the throat of Funaki. Stamboli then covers Funaki one more time, and he should have him this time.

One

Two

Funaki just barely manages to get one of his shoulder's up in time. Stamboli is surprised, but he keeps his compsure and pulls Funaki back up to his feet. Stamboli grabs Funaki, and pulls him up to his feet. Stamboli has Funaki in a Military Press, and he's looking for the Fugeddaboudit, but Funaki somehow manages to slide down his back. Funaki tries to plant his feet, but he's wobbly, and falls backwards into the ropes. Nunzio pops up onto the apron to grab Funaki, but Stamboli charges ahead and goes to boot Funaki. Funaki ducks, and Nunzio gets sent flying into the barricade with the big boot. Funaki seizes the opportunity and grabs the stunned Stamboli. Funaki hits him with a quick Tornado DDT, before cradling him into a pin.

One

Two

Three

Just as the ref counts three, Stamboli muscles out of the pinning attempt. Funaki's a little bit woozy, but he manages to scurry out of the ring before the angry Stamboli can exact any revenge.

Funaki defeats Johnny Stamboli

OR: 67

CR: 59

MQ: 75

*3/4

Ernest Miller: He did it! Someboday call The Cat's momma! She aint gon' believe it baby. Funkinaka aint losin and he gonna be da Velocy Geral Mager. I'd bet my dancin shoes on it! Alright well its time to go. Tha Cats got places to go and ladies to see. See yall next week turkeys!

OVERALL: 63

Match of the Night: Tie between Holly/Akio and Funaki/Stamboli

Worst Match of the Night: DeMott/Mathews

Overall Segment of the Night: Mark Henry vs Paul London

Worst Segment of the Night: Three way tie between Holly/Akio, DeMott/Mathews and Full Blooded Velocity

[Naraku]

Great diary, I've been really enjoying it.

Just a quick question that's not really related to the diary.. In the article about whether you should resign A-Train or not, who is the guy A-Train is wrestling? I can't tell..

[Essa]

Great diary, I've been really enjoying it.

Just a quick question that's not really related to the diary.. In the article about whether you should resign A-Train or not, who is the guy A-Train is wrestling? I can't tell..

←

[stonecoldfan12345]

Nice Velocity man! By the way...can't tell who that is at the moment, kinda looks like Bill DeMott, but...can't really tell...lol. Neways...can't wait for Heat. Later!!!

[Essa]

Fantasy WWE Update

Derek4jc: -1 Paul London lost to Mark Henry

Show Total: -1

Grand Total: -2

PREDICTIONS

JStarr:

-2 Akio lost to Hardcore Holly

+1 Mark Henry beat Paul London

+1 Funaki beat Johnny Stamboli

Show Total: 0

Grand Total: 10

Maddog:

-2 Akio lost to Hardcore Holly

+1 Mark Henry beat Paul London

-2 Johnny Stamboli lost to Funaki

Show Total: -3

Grand Total: -16

D-Extreme

+1 Hardcore Holly beat Akio

-2 Paul London lost to Mark Henry

-2 Johnny Stamboli lost to Funaki

Show Total: -3

Grand Total: 6

Stonecoldfan

-2 Akio lost to Hardcore Holly

-2 Paul London lost to Mark Henry

+1 Funaki beat Johnny Stamboli

Show Total: -3

Grand Total: 2

FWWE SCORECARD

+3 Bill DeMott

-1 Josh Mathews

+3 Hardcore Holly

-1 Akio

+3 Mark Henry

-1 Paul London

+3 Funaki

-1 Johnny Stamboli

FWWE Leaderboard

1 JStarr +10

2 D-Extreme +6

3 Stonecoldfan +2

4 Kou -1

5 Derek4jc -2

5 Chris2k -2

7 Maddog -16

JStarr's lead increased to four, due to incorrect predictions from D-Extreme. Maddog is still pulling up the rear after losing even more points. That's a shame, he deserves better for making me these graphics. But too bad. Derek is the only person to drop a spot after Velocity, going from being tied for fourth with Kou, to being tied for fifth with Chris.

[Essa]

WWE SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT

This week on Sunday... Stevie Night Heat, Steven's challenge isn't lying in wait in the wrestling ring. Oh no, it's at the commentary booth. On Raw this past Monday, General Manager Steve Austin publically fired both Johnathan Coachman and Al Snow. So now, the General Manager is in a bind, that will only be fixed when he comes up with a new commentary team for Stevie Night Heat.

But that won't be his only problem this week. Ever since the return of the hardcore title, Tommy Dreamer has been hot on the trail of Steven Richards. Tommy Dreamer has issued challenge after challenge to Steven Richards for the Hardcore Title, but none of them have been accepted. Will Tommy Dreamer use the 24/7 rule to his advantage and attempt to TAKE the belt from Richards? Well, whether he does or not, he can't be too preoccupied because he's already answered Rodney Mack's "White Boy Challenge." Dreamer will need to put his entire focus on Mack if he wants to win that match. Tune in to Sunday Night Heat, to witness all this action and more!

FWWE PREDICTIONS

One man will attempt to take the Hardcore Title from Steven Richards. Who will it be? +3/-0

The world reknowned tandem of Killer Cox and The Machine will be on the receiving end of a squash. What tag team will be squashing them? +3/-0

Tommy Dreamer vs Rodney Mack? +3/-1

Will there be a physical altercation between Dreamer and Richards? +1/-1

[JStarr]

One man will attempt to take the Hardcore Title from Steven Richards. Who will it be?

Goldust

The world reknowned tandem of Killer Cox and The Machine will be on the receiving end of a squash. What tag team will be squashing them?

Hurricane and Rosey?

Tommy Dreamer vs Rodney Mack?

Dreamer

Will there be a physical altercation between Dreamer and Richards?

No. Stevie will stay toward the back.

[stonecoldfan12345]

FWWE PREDICTIONS

One man will attempt to take the Hardcore Title from Steven Richards. Who will it be? +3/-0 Dreamer

The world reknowned tandem of Killer Cox and The Machine will be on the receiving end of a squash. What tag team will be squashing them? +3/-0 La Resistance

Tommy Dreamer vs Rodney Mack? +3/-1

Will there be a physical altercation between Dreamer and Richards? +1/-1 Yes

[D-Extreme]

One man will attempt to take the Hardcore Title from Steven Richards. Who will it be? Dreamer

The world reknowned tandem of Killer Cox and The Machine will be on the receiving end of a squash. What tag team will be squashing them?

La Resistance

Tommy Dreamer vs Rodney Mack

Will there be a physical altercation between Dreamer and Richards? No

[maddog]

One man will attempt to take the Hardcore Title from Steven Richards. Who will it be? +3/-0

No one

The world reknowned tandem of Killer Cox and The Machine will be on the receiving end of a squash. What tag team will be squashing them? +3/-0

La Rez

Tommy Dreamer vs Rodney Mack? +3/-1

Mack

Will there be a physical altercation between Dreamer and Richards? +1/-1

Yes

[Essa]

WWE SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 30 2003

THE NEW HEAT BROADCAST TEAM?

Once the Sunday Night Heat opening video plays, we go to the backstage area instead of to the ring for pyro. Stevie Richards is shown pacing back and forth behind his desk. He's wearing a brown suit jacket, with a shirt and tie on underneath. That is, until he walks away from the desk, showing that underneath all that is a pair of pink shorts. Victoria is lying on the desk in her pajamas (with the buttcheeks cut out of course), rolling her around and tossing papers in the air.

Stevie Richards: Alright, it's time for the show. And I'm faced with the tough decision of finding two of you to replace Al Snow and Johnathan Coachman as my Commentary Team.

The camera pans out to show Hugo Savinovich, Gene Okerlund, Rodney and Pete Gas (yes, the Rodney & Pete Gas), Dean Malenko, and Harvey Whippleman.

Stevie Richards: Now, unfortunately I can only pick two of you to do this job. And that means that five of you are going to have to leave Stevie Night Heat. So let's narrow the field down a little bit. First, Harvey, Stevie Night Heat is a family show (as he says this, the camera focuses in on Victoria's almost bare ass) and with your history in the WWE, I just don't think you'd be a good fit.

Victoria: Look at me, I'm Harvina!

Victoria then proceeds to stand up, scratch her head and tackle Harvey off the chair! She starts shaking the life out of Harvey, until Stevie calls her off.

Stevie Richards: Now get rid of him for me honeybunchkins. Whose next...

The camera shows everyone sitting there bracing themselves for bad news, except for Malenko who just looks like he doesn't care. Rodney is patting Pete Gas on the shoulder, Okerlund is crossing his fingers, and Hugo is giving Stevie the puppy dog eyes.

Stevie Richards: Now one of the main credentials that I'm judging you all on is your experience. So, Gene and Hugo, that brings me to you two.

Hugo Savinovich: Que?

Stevie Richards: What? Yeah, I'm okay. Gene, I want an announcer with some experience...

Gene Okerlund: I'll be glad to do the job for you Mr. Richards!

Stevie Richards: BUT... Gene, you've gotta be pushing 150 years old, and quite frankly that's a safety concern. None of the millions of Stevie Night Heat Viewers want to see you keel over on my show. So Gene, go back to Confidential.

Gene Okerlund: Bu...bu... but.

Stevie Richards: Don't make me get my delicate flower Victoria to throw you out.

Gene Okerlund goes out peacefully.

Stevie Richards: So Hugo, you have just the right amount of experience for the job. Welcome aboard matey!

Hugo turns and whispers something to Malenko. Malenko turns back to Hugo and whispers "Si." Hugo gets up and shakes Stevie's hand profusely.

Hugo Savinovich: Mucho gracias Senor Richards!

Hugo then got up and walked out of the way.

Stevie Richards: Now, there are three of you left, Rodney, Pete Gas and Dean Malenko. Dean, I'm sorry my man, but me and my sweetness think that to be a commentator you need to have a certain... charisma about you. Like... any charisma whatsoever. So get out of here.

Dean Malenko gets up to leave, but as he gets up, Rodney and Pete Gas start laughing at him and pointing their fingers at him. Dean then turns around and pushes Pete Gas back, knocking his chair tipping backwards. Gas falls on his ass, so Rodney gets up and shoves Malenko. Rodney goes to punch him, but instead Malenko takes Rodney down and locks him in the Texas Cloverleaf!

Dean Malenko: So, do I have the job or not?

Stevie Richards: Uh... Heh, I was just kidding around before...

Dean Malenko: Do I have the job?

Stevie Richards: Ummm... Yeah, but uh, it's been nice doing business with you, I gotta run. I don't want to be late.

Richards bolts out of the room, Hardcore Title in hand. He sees Victoria on the outside still pummeling Wippleman.

Stevie Richards: I've gotta go now my little dipsy doodle. Are you sure you can handle the show tonight?

Victoria: Of course I can! Hehehe. But wait ooooooh wait Stevie. Are they here tonight?

Stevie Richards: Yes sweetiepie, our entourage is here. Now I've gotta go. Have fun with Harvey.

Stevie then runs into the parking lot. He sees his limo parked, and runs alongside a WWE truck, to go to his limo. From out of nowhere, the superhero in training, Rosey, pops out.

Rosey was hiding behind a few garbage cans. He tries to surprise Richards and tackle him down so he can get the Hardcore Title. But Rosey launches himself at Richards, leading Richards to duck out of the way of the flying fatass. Rosey crashes right into the side of the truck and falls in a heap. Richards gets back to his feet and hightails it to the limo. He hops in the limo and speeds away, as the cameraman turns back around to see Tommy Dreamer stepping out of a SUV. Dreamer goes to walk into the building, and then looks at the speeding car. He shrugs his shoulders and then walks in... as the pyro finally gets to go off.

OR: 75

CR: 67

MQ: 83

Hardcore Title Gained In Image

**3/4 Segment Rating

After about twenty seconds of dead silence with the camera focused in on Malenko, and Savinovich.

Hugo Savinovich: Hola! Senors and Senoritas me yamo es Hugo!

Dean Malenko: Uh, Hello. This is Heat, and I'm Dean Malenko. This is Hugo. We're the new announce team.

Hugo Savinovich: Siii.

Dean Malenko: Yeah, here on Heat. We've got all the top Raw wrestlers here and stuff.

Hugo Savinovich: Si senor Malenko.

Dean Malenko: And, we show you what happened on Raw. And stuff. Like, yeah, here are the clips and stuff from Rob Van Dam's match with Chris Jericho.

Hugo Savinovich: Para el Titulo Intercontinental!

RAW HIGHLIGHTS

Rob Van Dam quickly hops up onto the ring apron. Van Dam springboards and then hits a straight kick right to the chops of Jericho who was still too preoccupied with the way Mike Sparks was treating his belt to notice that someone was about to kick him in the face. Van Dam and Jericho pop right back up, which leads to Van Dam hitting a series of forearms to the head of Jericho that backs him up into the ropes. An Irish Whip from Van Dam sends Jericho flying across the ring into the ropes. On the rebound, Jericho ducks a Back Elbow from Van Dam and bounces off the ropes again. This time Jericho goes to hit a Crossbody on Van Dam, but Van Dam counters this by hitting a front dropkick right to the exposed chest of Jericho. Jericho is down and it looks like he's got the wind knocked out of him.

Van Dam gets up and he isn't letting up on Jericho. Van Dam pulls Jericho into the middle of the ring and then hits a quick spinning legdrop. Once again Van Dam is up quickly. He bounces himself off the ropes, and then hits the Rolling Thunder onto the prone Chris Jericho. Van Dam gets up and sizes up Jericho. He has him lined up, and is just waiting for him to get to his feet. Jericho finally gets up, holding his chest. Van Dam goes to hit Jericho with a spin kick, but Jericho ducks underneath of it. Van Dam then quickly attempts to sweep out Jericho's legs from underneath him, but Jericho jumps over Van Dam's leg. Van Dam gets back to a vertical base, and Jericho jumps onto the middle rope and hits a springboard Dropkick right to the face of Van Dam knocking both men down. Both Jericho and Van Dam take their time getting up to their feet.

Jericho is up a split second before Van Dam, so he goes on the offensive with a knee to the stomach of Van Dam. Van Dam hunches over, and Jericho takes a page out of William Regal's playbook by jumping up and kneeing Van Dam in the head. Van Dam holds his head with one hand, leaving him vulnerable to attack. So Jericho does a quick double leg takedown on Van Dam and tries to turn him over into the Walls of Jericho. But Van Dam is fighting to stay on his back. Jericho can't turn him over, so he falls back and slingshots Van Dam. Van Dam lands on the middle turnbuckle and goes for a moonsault on Jericho. But Jericho catches him on his right shoulder. Jericho flings Van Dam over his shoulder and drills him with a Reverse DDT from the modified Fireman's Carry position. (Simonizer for you ECW marks) Jericho covers. One... Two... Van Dam uses his leg strength to kick out just in the knick of time.

Van Dam is still laying on the mat, but he holds his head in pain. Jericho then decides to start working over the neck with a headlock. Van Dam starts fading away but after Mike Sparks lifts his hand, and drops it twice, Van Dam's arm shoots up. Van Dam starts battling up to one knee. He starts hitting elbows into the chest area of Jericho, but Jericho just leans into the Headlock to put more force on the hold. That stops Van Dam from firing off elbows, but he still is battling to his feet. Van Dam finally gets up to a vertical base, and once again starts hitting elbows into the midsection of Jericho. But Jericho keeps applying more and more force to the headlock to stop Van Dam from building any momentum. With one great burst of energy, Van Dam scoots himself behind Jericho, and drops him with a Back Suplex out of the headlock. Both men are down, but as Mike Sparks counts up to seven, Van Dam kips up and quickly hits a Standing Moonsault on Jericho.

Van Dam covers. One... Two... Jericho kicks out. Van Dam gets up still favoring his neck. He picks Jericho up to his feet. Van Dam goes to Irish Whip Jericho, but Jericho reverses it and sends Van Dam flying into the ropes. Jericho bends down to go for a Back Body Drop on Van Dam, but Van Dam hops over Jericho's back and rolls up Jericho using his legs. One... Tw... Jericho powers out and staggers to his feet. Van Dam is up quickly and charges at Jericho, but Jericho goes around him and hits a Sleeping Neckbreaker on Van Dam which causes Van Dam's head to ricochet off the ring mat. Jericho gets up and cockily struts over Van Dam. Jericho puts one foot on the midsection of Van Dam and orders referee Mike Sparks to make the count. One... Two... Van Dam gets his shoulders up.

Jericho takes a minute to taunt the crowd by doing Rob Van Dam's thumb taunt, when Van Dam rolls up Jericho, spins him around and tries to lock him in the Walls of Jericho! He has Jericho turned over, but Jericho crawls on his hands to the ropes and barely gets the ropes before Van Dam tries to pull him into the middle of the ring. Van Dam lets go of the hold, and hunches over to try and catch his breath. Jericho gets up and goes for his one handed bulldog, but Van Dam fights it off by bending his knees. Jericho lands on his ass after missing the bulldog. Van Dam quickly scoops up Jericho and hooks him up for a suplex. Van Dam lifts up Jericho in the suplex and then drops him stomach first across the top rope. Jericho's entire upper body is dangling over the top rope. Van Dam quickly hops up to the top rope, where he does the R...V...D... thumb taunts, and then leaps off the top turnbuckle with a Spinning Leg Drop to the back of the neck of Jericho that flings him right back into the ring.

Van Dam drags Jericho into the center of the ring before running off into the corner. Van Dam hops up onto the top turnbuckle and once again does his thumb taunt. He's about to fly with the Five Star Frog Splash... Can You Dig It Sucka!!!? Booker T's music hits.

Van Dam has a look of disgust on his face as he stands perched on the top turnbuckle waiting for Booker T to come down to the ring. But what's this? Christian hops over the barrier and grabs Jericho's Intercontinental Championship Belt.

Christian hops up onto the apron and drills Van Dam in the back of the head with the Intercontinental Championship Belt. Van Dam falls and does a front flip off the top turnbuckle right onto the mat. Christian hops off the apron and then ducks on the side of the apron. Booker T's music stops playing, so referee Mike Sparks turns his attention back to the task at hand. He turns just in time to see Chris Jericho throw his arm over the chest of Rob van Dam. One... Two... Three!

After the match is officially over, and Chris Jericho is declared the winner, Christian comes back into the ring. He picks up Rob Van Dam and then quickly drops him right on his face with the Unprettier. Christian then goes over to Jericho and helps him up to his feet. Jericho is totally spent but that doesn't stop him from putting the boots to Van Dam. Christian and Jericho take turns celebrating with the Intercontinental Championship Belt, and stomping the hell out of an unconscious Rob Van Dam. All of a sudden Trish Stratus titty jiggles her way out to the ring. She slides into the ring and stands over Van Dam, while yelling for Jericho to hit her. Trish slides Van Dam out of the ring and then goes back to taunting Jericho. First she shoves Jericho, but he doesn't get upset, he just smiles at her. Then Jericho says to her "I can't hit you, but he can." On cue with Jericho, Christian grabs a handful of Trish's hair. Trish screams out in fear, but the screams don't help her because Christian spins her around and drops her on her head with an Unprettier! Christian then sits on Trish's back and locks her in a Camel Clutch while Jericho bends down and starts taunting Trish. OOOOOOOOOOOH WHAT A RUUUUUUUUUSH It's Animal! Animal charges down to the ring and he does not look like a happy camper. Animal gets into the ring and takes Jericho and Christian down with a double clothesline. Animal then bounces into the ropes and hits both men with a double shoulderblock. Animal then calls for a microphone.

Animal: Chris...tian... Me and you... At the... Armageddon... Pay... Per View. What... do you say?

Christian gets up and shakes his head no at Animal.

Animal: Wrong... answer.

Animal then boots Christian in the stomach and hits a thunderous powerbomb. Animal goes to do the same thing to Chris Jericho but he gets blindsided by Randy Orton and the RKO! All hell is breaking loose here. Randy Orton goes and picks up the Intercontinental Championship Belt. He looks at it, and then starts to smile before dropping it and seeing that Trish Stratus is now back up to her feet. Orton shrugs his shoulders and then hits a big RKO on Trish Stratus. But then The D-Bomb Drops! And out runs Bubba Ray Dudley. He hustles down to the ring and slides in. Bubba goes face to face with Orton. Orton puts his hands up and says that "it isn't his fight." Orton then slides out of the ring, while Bubba Ray checks on Trish. Trish starts to come too and thanks Bubba. He picks her up and starts to carry her out of the ring, when he sees Jericho starting to get to his feet. Bubba then props Trish up in the corner, and waits for Jericho to get back to a standing position. Then Bubba delivers the Bubba Cutter to Jericho! The ring is an absolute warzone with Bubba being the only man left standing. He picks Trish back up and then carries her to the backstage area as we cut to commercial.

Overall: 80

Hugo Savinovich: Todo el infierno rompio la noche pasada floja de lunes!

Malenko gives off a hearty laugh.

Dean Malenko: Why yes, Hugo, I do enjoy potato salad.

Hugo Savinovich: Dos cervezas andale aqui por favor.

Dean Malenko: I can do quite the Speedy Gonzales imitation as well.

Dean chuckles a little bit to himself, leading to some more dead air.

Dean Malenko: Well, yeah, now let's go to the ring. For a match. It's the Tag Team Champions, the Dudley Boyz against

Hugo Savinovich: Asesino Cox y La Máquina!

Dean Malenko: No, actually its Killer Cox, and The Machine. What note sheet are you looking at Hugo?

THE DUDLEY BOYZ VS KILLER COX & THE MACHINE

NON TITLE MATCH

We go back to the ring where “Drop The Bombshell” hit’s the PA to a big pop, as D-on Dudley and his half-brother Bubba Ray stride down towards the ring, where Killer Cox and The Machine are situated already. The Dudleyz get into the ring and climb opposite turnbuckles, raising their arms in the air simultaneously, provoking more noise from the crowd, before making their way back down to the canvas. The Dudleyz have a brief exchange of words before D-Von exits the ring, as does The Machine, as the bell sounds.

Dean Malenko: Well it looks to me like Bubba Ray Dudley will start the match off with The Machine. Most likely they will start off with a Collar and Elbow Tie up, but technical wrestling is really not either man's strongpoint. So it would not surprise me if Bubba Ray, or the Machine started off with a few striking attacks, rather than a headlock. Which really is a shame.

Hugo Savinovich: Huh? Golpee su asno con el pie Dudley!

Bubba Ray and The Machine circle each other for a minute, before locking up, and Bubba Ray tosses Machine to the mat. The Machine quickly gets to his feet, but is squashed in the corner by a Bubba Ray clothesline, and Bubba Ray proceeds to pummel and kick The Machine until he’s on his ass, at which point Bubba Ray aggressively yanks Machine to his feet, before knocking him down with a vicious clothesline.

Dean Malenko: Bubba Ray Dudley would be a much better wrestler if he chose to focus more on wearing the opponent down on the mat, as opposed to pummeling them. Throwing punches wears out both you and your opponent, but a nice and tight armbar just weakens your opponent.

Hugo Savinovich: Golpéelo con el pie en los dientes!

Bubba goes for the cover.

Dean Malenko: Now Bubba is going for the cover. But, I think he'd receive better results if instead of going right for the cover, he locked a leg submission on Machine. That would have weakened him up even more, meaning he'd have less leg strength to kick out of the pin attempt. Also, if you take out the man's legs, there is no way he'd be able to tag in his partner Killer Cox.

Hugo Savinovich: Blah del blah de Blah, visión justa el fósforo!

One

Two

Hugo Savinovich: Aye papi! El golpeó con el pie hacia fuera.

Machine kicks out at two. Bubba Ray wastes little time as he gets to his feet, picking up Machine. Bubba Ray backs him into a corner and tags in D-Von, before going to work with punches to the face of Machine.

Dean Malenko: Now fans, this is where the experience factor comes into play. The Dudley Boyz have been tag teaming together for years, while The Machine and Killer Cox are more of a makeshift team.

Hugo Savinovich: Los Dudleys se fuego!

Dean Malenko: No Hugo, you leggo my Eggo!

More laughing, while Hugo looks at Dean sort of puzzled.

D-Von and Bubba Ray then send Machine off the ropes and nail a double elbow, as D-Von goes for a cover and gets 2, and Bubba Ray exits the ring. D-Von locks on a rear chinlock on Machine, but he manages to get to his feet, before connecting with a pair of elbows to the gut of D-Von. Machine then quickly hit’s a snap suplex on D-Von, before tagging in Killer Cox. Cox is quickly on D-Von, smashing his lower back with some semi-stiff kicks, before grabbing the jaw of D-Von, trying to yank his head off it seems. D-Von cuts off Cox with a pair of punches to the gut however, before kicking Cox in the gut and hitting a neck breaker.

Dean Malenko: D-Von looks to be the more technically sound wrestler on the Dudleys team. That was quite the neckbreaker by D-Von, and it couldn't have come at a better time. Cox had just been tagged in, and he looked like he was ready to do some damage. But luckily for the Dudleys, D-Von managed to stop his offensive spurt, and possibly his chances of winning, with that beautiful 1/4 inch rotating, head and arm, falling capture hold drop, or as you all know it, a neckbreaker.

Hugo Savinovich: ¡Deseo ver un poco de madera!

Dean Malenko: Why yes Hugo, I did in fact have a pogo stick when I was a child. Why do you ask?

Hugo Savinovich: Aye papi!

One

Two

Dean Malenko: Had D-Von put more force into hooking the leg, this match could be over right now.

Killer Cox somehow manages to get out of the pinfall. D-Von picks Cox up and backs him into a corner, before whipping him into the opposite corner, and connecting with a hard clothesline. Cox falls down to the mat, as D-Von tags in Bubba Ray, who takes his time in picking Cox up, and connecting with three punches to the cranium of Cox, before sending him into the ropes and hitting a sidewalk slam.

Dean Malenko: And there's a scooping, elevated, sideways, invertedly modified backbreaker...

Hugo Savinovich: ¿Usted significa un golpe de la acera?

Dean Malenko: How about you leave the match calling to me?

Bubba goes for the pin.

One

Two

Kickout by Cox. Bubba Ray shouts “get up bitch!” at Cox, before backing him into a corner and connecting with chops. The Machine comes up to Bubba Ray from the comfort of the ring apron, nailing Bubba Ray with two double axe handles from behind, but Bubba Ray nails Machine with a punch to the gut, before hanging him up on the top rope. D-Von jumps off the apron and goes around the ring to where Machine is, before sending him into the steel ring steps, a sick thud echoing around the arena, to the sound of “ohh” from the audience. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Bubba Ray is going to work with jabs, before hitting the big bionic elbow. D-Von throws Machine into the ring, and Bubba Ray hit’s the Bubba Bomb on him, before holding back the legs of Machine. The crowd shout “was sup” in union with D-Von, as he flies off of the top rope with a painful looking head butt to the groin of Machine, who thrives around in pain. D-Von spins around, signalling for the end, as Bubba Ray scoops up Cox, and sends him into the ropes, as The Dudley Boyz connect with a thunderous Dudley Death Drop.

Hugo Savinovich: Tres D, la gota de la muerte del Dudley!

Dean Malenko: Del Dudley? I don't believe I've met that one yet. But, regardless, The Dudleyz just hit the Dudley Death Drop on Killer Cox! Bubba's going for the pin and this should be the end of the match right here.

Bubba Ray hooks the leg

One

Two

Three.

And the Dudley Death Drop gets a three count, and the crowd cheers, but it appears as though the Dudleyz aren’t finished yet.

Winners: Dudley Boyz

OR: 51

CR: 47

MQ: 56

Cox Sold Poorly and is Losing Overness... as if he had any

DUD

Bubba Ray shoves D-Von, before shouting the all too familiar words.

Bubba Ray: “D-Von……GET THE TABLES!”

The crowd pop, and D-Von obliges, quickly exiting the ring, and sliding a table into the ring, before following it into the squared circle. Killer Cox has by now rolled to the outside, leaving The Machine to the mercy of The Dudleyz. Bubba Ray sends Machine into the ropes, and The Dudleyz execute a second sweet 3D, this time combined with the crunching sound of a table being broken by the anatomy of The Machine. The Dudleyz go back up on the turnbuckles, celebrating their win, as the crowd cheer.

Hugo Savinovich: El Asesino Cox y la Máquina acaban de probar la madera.

Dean Malenko: Yes, I agree Hugo, The Prisoner of Azkaban was the best Harry Potter book. But that's neither here nor there, because the Dudleyz just dropped The Machine through a table with their tandem lifting, elevated, flapjack combined with a rotating 270 degree revolving neckbreaker!

DREAMER'S ON THE PROWL

The camera cuts away from the Dudleyz celebration and goes to the backstage area where Tommy Dreamer is pacing around the hallways. He's got a friend with him, named Stick, Kendo Stick. Dreamer looks like he's going nuts, hitting walls, garbage cans, and snack tables with his kendo stick, until Terri Runnels runs up to him with a microphone.

Terri: Tommy, Tommy, what's going on!?

Tommy Dreamer: Where is he? Where is Richards?

Terri: He left Tommy, right before you got here! He looked like he was in a rush. What's wrong?!

Tommy Dreamer: Damnit Terri, I'll tell you what's wrong. He's runnin around here with that Hardcore Title like he's hardcore Terri just because he somehow loopholed his way into being the champion. Well, I'll tell you this, I've made my living on wrestling hardcore. I've fed my family by wrestling hardcore, and I've entertained my fans by wrestling hardcore. And what Richards does is nothing close to hardcore. Every single time he "defends" that belt, or some idiot jumps out at him from a custodians closet, it's making a mockery out of hardcore. And I'm not going to stand for this crap anymore Terri. Do you understand?

Terri: Yeah, Tommy, I und...

Tommy Dreamer: No Terri, I really don't think you do. I see the look in your eyes, and you look like you don't give a damn about what I'm saying. Terri... do you want to see what hardcore really is?

Dreamer raises the kendo stick in the air as Terri cowers in fear. But Tommy then pulls his shirt over his head to show his scarred chest, and arms.

Tommy Dreamer: This, Terri, is hardcore. DO YOU SEE THESE SCARS TERRI? These scars are from barbed wire, and that's as hardcore as it gets. They're not here because of a cookie sheet, or a wiffle ball bat. And that's what makes me different from Steven Richards. I know a thing or two about getting hardcore... and all he knows about is getting lucky. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go show Rodney Mack just how hardcore I can get.

Overall: 76

Dean Malenko: Tommy Dreamer looks absolutely furius about the Hardcore Title situation. And I would not like to be Terri, back there interviewing him... or Rodney Mack whose actually got to wrestle him tonight. Or... or...

Hugo Savinovich: Qué sobre richards del stevie?

Dean Malenko: Or Stevie Richards. Tommy Dreamer obviously wants that Hardcore Title, and I don't know if Stevie is going to be able to hold onto it if Dreamer ever does get his hands on him. But, before we head to the ring for our main event, we're going to show you some more highlights from Raw, involving the Triple H, Goldberg and Kevin Nash Armageddon situation.

Hugo Savinovich: ¿Kevin Nash y H triple? ¿Dónde está el cuarto de baño?

RAW HIGHLIGHTS

We go backstage to Evolution's locker room, where we see all five members of Evolution. Triple H, Batista, Randy Orton and Ric Flair are crammed together on a three person couch that is directly across the room from Nowinski who is comfortably sitting on another three person sofa. It looks like nobody wants to go near him. Ric Flair is stuck in between Batista and Triple H. It looks like Flair is going to get absorbed by these two, so he stands up and starts talking while everyone keeps giving Nowinski dirty looks.

Ric Flair: Tonight Triple H, Batista... Tonight, Randy Orton... is WHOOOO Evolution's NIGHT. Tonight we're going to make up for all the absolute... CRAP that happened to us last week. We WILL make up for Batista getting screwed over by that punk Garrison Cade. We WILL make up for you, Game, not getting a chance to knock Kevin Nash's teeth down his throat. We WILL make up for this punk weaseling his way into Evolution... And we WILL make up for Rand

Randy Orton: I don't have to make up for anything. I did what I wanted to do at Raw last week... I took Maven out with the R...K...O. Just like I've already done tonight to Trish Stratus, and that has been Animal. And I'm not going to stop, cause tonight I'm going to bust out one more RKO when I beat Lance Storm later on.

Ric Flair: That's fine Randy, but you just remember that we are a team. TOGETHER we are the EVOLUTION of this business. If Evolution has a bad night, then so does Randy Orton.

Randy Orton: You know what Ric, you're right. We are a team, but make no mistake about it... I will beat Lance Storm tonight, and soon enough I will take the Intercontinental Title away from Chris Jericho. Now, gentlemen, if you'll excuse me, I've got a match up soon that I need to prepare for.

Randy Orton gets up and walks out of the room while Flair looks flabbergasted. Triple H and Batista snicker.

Triple H: Relax Naitch. He's just showing a little ambition. Whether we want to admit it or not, we were the exact same way when we were their age.

Points to Batista when he says that.

Triple H: But you know what, I gotta agree with ya Naitch. Tonight will-uh be Evolution's night. Last week I think I got a little bit too hot headed when I went off looking for Nash last week. I think it's better that I didn't find him because BEATING THE HELL-UH out of Nash would just distract me from my goal of getting one more shot at that Goldberg chump. I'm just going to play it cool until the time is right for me to ask Austin for another title shot.

Ric Flair: That sounds like a good idea and all H, but do you really think that no good redneck with way too much power is going to give you a title shot?

Triple H pats Batista on his chest.

Triple H: I think we can be very... very persuasive if ya know what I mean.

The four members of Evolution that are still in the locker room share a hearty laugh. Flair, Triple H and Batista all stop after a few seconds but Nowinski keeps on laughing like a bafoon. Eventually he stops and looks around the room and sees the stares directed at him.

Christopher Nowinski: ...What?

The rest of Evolution just shrug him off.

Triple H: Anyway guys, we've got a busy night tonight. I'm gonna find Goldberg and kick his ass... You two guys have Booker T tonight, and Randy's got a match with some nobody...

Christopher Nowinski: And what do I get to do tonight?

The rest of Evolution laughs at Nowinski before walking out of there and slamming the door leaving him sitting there on a couch all by himself. Nowinski sits there muttering to himself about how Evolution must be so happy to have him in their group, when the door swings open and it's Kevin Nash. Nash walks over to Nowinski and yanks him up to his feet. Nash slams Nowinski against the wall.

Kevin Nash: I heard you're little ring leader was lookin' for me last week. Where is he?

Christopher Nowinski: He just left...

Nash lets go of Nowinski. Nowinski goes from looking like he shat a brick, to looking over confident.

Kevin Nash: Where'd he go?

Christopher Nowinski: That's none of your damn business. What do you want anyway?

Kevin Nash: I want a match with him tonight. I've already talked to Austin and he cleared it. Hell, he even said that the winner could wrestle Goldberg at Armageddon.

Christopher Nowinski: Well Triple H said that he isn't concerned with you anymore...

Kevin Nash: I don't ca

Christopher Nowinski: But he did say he wanted another title shot. So you know what, I'll accept your challenge on behalf of Triple H.

Nash laughs at Nowinski and then leaves the room.

Jim Ross: Well King, it certainly looks like there is some tension in the Evolution locker room. Randy Orton said that he's not to blame for Evolution's shortcomings last week, and Ric Flair took offense to that.

Jerry Lawler: They're a team. If the team screws up, then every person in that team screwed up.

Jim Ross: Well that's your opinion King. I disagree, but that's not all that we just witnessed. Christopher Nowinski just agreed for Triple H to wrestle Kevin Nash. Triple H is going to be furious, especially after he just said that he doesn't want to fight Nash until he resolves his situation with Goldberg.

Jerry Lawler: I don't think Nowinski will be a card carrying member of Evolution for very much longer.

Triple H is very reluctant to get in the ring with Nash, especially because he did not even agree to this match. Eventually Triple H does get in the ring, but he stalls a lot until the referee, Earl Hebner just rings the bell to start the match without the consent of Triple H. Nash and Triple H start the match off with some not-so-friendly jaw jacking, which leads to Nash going off on Triple H with a series of punches to the face.

Triple H gets backed up into the ropes with these punches. Nash whips Triple H into the ropes and on the rebound, Triple H eats boot. Nash picks up Triple H and chucks him into the corner. Nash charges in with an avalanche, but Triple H dodges it, and starts pounding away on Nash in the corner. But that offense is short lived as Nash grabs Triple H by the neck, and chucks him into the corner instead. Nash starts going to work on Triple H with knees to the gut, before whipping Triple H into the opposite corner. He had so much force behind the whip that Triple H came flying back out of the corner, and right into a Spinning Side Salto from Kevin Nash. Nash then did the nWo sign to the crowd for a bit of a pop.

But then the TitanTron showed a jeep pulling up to the arena, and Goldberg getting out of it. He looked pissed off, as he started marching towards the ring. Nash noticed him and started staring at the TitanTron, when from behind Triple H hit an uppercut to Little Kev. Nash hunched over, and Triple H got him in a double underhook. He has him set up for the Pedigree, when Goldberg makes it to the ring. He gets in the ring and then charges at Triple H even with Earl Hebner trying to hold him back. Goldberg dives over the back of Nash and Spears the hell out of Triple H. Hebner calls for the bell, and calls the match a No Disqualification. Goldberg is back up after spearing Triple H. He lines Nash up and is ready to spear him too, but instead of getting up to his feet, Nash just rolls out of the ring. On the entire way back up the ramp, Nash just smiles at Goldberg, while holding his groin.

Overall: 88

Dean Malenko: Who will be declared the number one contender at Armageddon, in just two weeks time? Will it be Kevin Nash or Triple H?

Hugo Savinovich: Tema la lanza!

Dean Malenko: Yes, I am quite fond of Bonanza.

TOMMY DREAMER VS RODNEY MACK

Rodney Mack came out to the ring first, with his right hand man Theodore Long at his side. Long is talking Mack up, and raising the roof like every other African American male does. Mack starts shadowboxing on the outside of the ring. Instead of getting in the ring, he stands outside by the ring apron, waiting for Tommy Dreamer to come out.

Dean Malenko: Well, Rodney Mack has come out to the ring with his manager Theodore R Long, but Mack looks like he took Dreamer's comments personally before. He doesn't want to start this in the ring, he wants to beat him out there!

Hugo Savinovich: Bien, realmente decano, Rodney Mack es probablemente el trastorno justo que el soñador está mirando más allá de él hacia Stevie Richards y el título de Hardcore. Pienso que explicaría su humor asqueroso. ¿Usted no conviene?

Dean Malenko: Oh... well, when you put it that way.

And he doesn't have to wait long, as the opening chords of "Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains (hmm... going back to his old ECW music I see) hit. Dreamer steps out onto the rampway, with the Kendo Stick raised high above his head. Dreamer walks forward with the Kendo Stick pointed out at Mack. Mack starts huffing and puffing his way towards Dreamer, and the two meet right in the middle of the rampway. But instead of this breaking into fisticuffs, Dreamer decides to show his hardcore side by hitting Mack in the knees with the Kendo Stick. Mack drops down to one knee, so Dreamer rears back and coldcocks him with the Kendo Stick one more time, sending Mack rolling all the way down to the ringside area.

Dean Malenko: That was a bad idea from Mack. Dreamer lives on the outside of that ring, and if Mack wants to get hardcore, I'm sure Dreamer would have no problem with it.

Hugo Savinovich: ¿Qué lo dio lejos? ¿El hecho de que el soñador lo está aporreando a la muerte con ese palillo del kendo?

Theodore Long goes over by Mack to check on him, but that doesn't seem like a good idea, because now Dreamer is stalking Long with the Kendo Stick. Long starts to beg off Dreamer. He's walking backwards with his hands in the air saying "Don't hit me playa". Long keeps walking backwards until he falls over the steel stairs, and lands on his black ass. Long pops right back up and now starts running around the ringside area, with Dreamer in hot pursuit. Long eventually runs past where Mack was laying, which baits Dreamer into a thunderous Mack lariat that caught Dreamer by surprise.

Dean Malenko: That's why manager's should be banned from ringside, in my estimation. While this may not be a technical classic, Long just turned the momentum heavily into Mack's favor.

Mack does the bark, like Junkyard Dog used to do, before picking the stunned Dreamer up and throwing him hard into the steel stairs. Dreamer flies into the stairs back first, causing him to slump down against them. Mack picks up the Kendo Stick, and goes for a homerun swing aimed at Dreamer's head, but somehow Dreamer moves, leaving the Kendo Stick to smash into the stairs, breaking it in half.

Hugo Savinovich: ¡El soñador de Tommy acaba de esquivar esa bala, y el palillo del kendo acaba de conseguir roto por la mitad!

Dean Malenko: Come on guys, grapple!

Mack, with half the kendo stick still in hand, is shaking his hand like it hurt to hit the stairs with the Kendo Stick. This gives Dreamer the chance to get back in the match. He gets up and lunges himself at Mack with a few punches. Mack takes three punches, but blocks a fourth, and rams what's left of the kendo stick into the throat of Tommy Dreamer.

Dean Malenko: Now, what you folks at home think you just saw was a random act of brutalization with Mack hitting Dreamer in the throat with that kendo stick. But in fact, it's much more than that. I'm sure that Mack strategically placed that blow to the throat of Dreamer so that he can more easily apply the Blackout, submission hold later on. Don't you agree Hugo?

Hugo Savinovich: Ningún pienso que él lo golpeó en la garganta maldita.

Dreamer slumps down against the ring holding his throat, and gasping for breath. Mack grabs Dreamer by the neck and slams him face first into the ring apron. Then Mack rolls Dreamer into the ring, and quickly follows him in. Oh yeah, the bell rings.

Dean Malenko: Well, now the match is officially on.

Mack picks up Dreamer and hits him with a series of forearms to the back, that sends Dreamer falling forward into the ropes. Dreamer is about to spill out of the ring, but Mack grabs him by his belt and pulls him backward before leveling him with a short clothesline to the back of the neck. Dreamer is down, but Mack stays on the offensive with a series of elbow drops to the back of Dreamer's neck.

Dean Malenko: Rodney Mack is no cruiserweight. He's certainly using his weight advantage to put an exclamation point on them elbow drops to Rodney Mack!

Mack then turns Dreamer over and goes for a cover.

One

Tw

Hugo Savinovich: Dos! Dos! Dos!

Dean Malenko: No, that was actually only a two count Hugo.

Dreamer gets his shoulder up, breaking up the weak pin attempt from Mack. Mack picks Dreamer up, and gives him an Irish Whip into the corner. Dreamer hits hard, sternum first, and starts to stumble backwards until Mack steamrolls him in the corner. Dreamer crumples up in the corner and starts to fall until Mack scoops him up and goes for another Irish Whip into the corner. But Dreamer somehow reverses the Whip and sends Mack into the corner. Mack uses his momentum to spring up, and over the approaching Dreamer. But Dreamer stopped, and snagged the airborn heavyweight on his shoulder. Dreamer ran to the center of the ring and dropped Mack on his head with the Tommyknocker/Spiccoli Driver!

Dean Malenko: Well fans that was a rope assisted, shoulder grabbing...

Hugo Savinovich: Golpeador de Tommy! Golpeador de Tommy! Todo encima para Rodney Mack!

One

Two

Three

Tommy Dreamer defeats Rodney Mack

OR: 66

CR: 57

MQ: 75

*3/4

As Tommy Dreamer gets up and shakes the cobwebs out, he gets blindsided by the former Heat announce team, and Victoria. For some reason, Coach and Snow are wearing suits, and sunglasses. Think Men in Black. The Coach and Al Snow take down Tommy Dreamer with a flurry of punches and kicks while Victoria just stands there laughing, still wearing her assless pajamas. The beatdown commences with Teddy Long getting involved in the romperstomping. Eventually they decide that the damage has been done and leave the ring, with Victoria in between them.

Dean Malenko: I thought that The Coach and Al Snow were fired by Steve Austin!

Hugo Savinovich: ¡Deben ser entourage personal de Stevie Richards y de Victoria!

Dean Malenko: What are they doing here? Well we'll just have to wait until next week to find out, won't we Hugo?

Hugo Savinovich: Aye papi.

[TOG]

Fucking love it.

Hugo is perfect.

Dean's funny unfunny jokes could grow stale after awhile, but the analysis of simple wrestling and "Come on guys, grapple!" must stay.

Aye papi.

[maddog]

That has to be the most offensive piece of work towards hispanics I've ever seen in a WWE Diary.

I Essa

[Essa]

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World Wrestling Entertainment Newsletter

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Monday Night Raw Preview

This Monday's Raw (9 p.m./8 CT on UPN) will test two men in our main event. Kevin Nash has just returned to the WWE at Survivor Series, and since then he's just been itching to get back in the ring. He had the chance last week against Triple H, but Goldberg stopped that match from happening. Now he's got Triple H's running buddy Batista. Nash is looking to send a message to both Triple H and Goldberg that he means business, and that he wants the World Heavyweight Title. But the Animal of Evolution will try and prove that he can hang in the main event scene!

Also, Booker T left Raw early last week, before his match with Batista were to happen. He was shunned by the rest of the Raw locker room, presumably for causing RVD the Intercontinental Title. How will this situation progress at Raw?

We'll answer all these questions and more, this Monday night!

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Every Man For Themselves!

This past Thursday on Smackdown, Rhyno and the US Champion Big Show defeated Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle in a Tag Team match that focused on Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit jockeying for contendorship to the Undisputed Title. However, Kurt Angle's ongoing conflicts with both the Big Show and John Cena came back to haunt him. After both Angle and Benoit were thrown off the turnbuckles and through the announcers table!, John Cena made his presence felt with vile chairshots to anything that moved. As Smackdown ended, one thing was known for sure... the battle lines have been drawn between Cena, Big Show and Angle!

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The Velocity General Manager's Tournament

This past Saturday, the Velocity General Manager's Tournament kicked off with four high profile matches. Hardcore Holly beat Akio, Funaki beat Johnny Stamboli, Mark Henry beat Paul London, and out of our two surprise entrants, Bill DeMott beat Josh Mathews! Expect the hard hitting action to continue next week.

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE WEEKEND MOMENT

After such an action packed weekend in the WWE, we ask you fans, what was your favorite Moment?

1) Bill DeMott and Josh Mathews announced as the two final entrants to the tournament!?

2) Funaki sneaking out the win over Johnny Stamboli?

3) Richards announcing Malenko and Savinovich as the new announce team?

4) Tommy Dreamer and Rodney Mack's brawl!?

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Recent Hardcore Title History

10 Tommy Dreamer - Twelve Time Hardcore Champion - Won From Shawn Stasiak 8/17/03 - Lost To Shawn Stasiak 8/17/03

9 Shawn Stasiak - Former Fifteen Time Hardcore Champion - Won From Tommy Dreamer 8/17/03 - Lost To Stevie Richards 8/18/03

8 Stevie Richards - Twenty One Time Hardcore Champion - Won From Shawn Stasiak 8/18/03 - Lost To Tommy Dreamer 8/18/03

7 Tommy Dreamer - Thirteen Time Hardcore Champion - Won Fron Stevie Richards 8/18/03 - Lost To Bradshaw 8/19/03

6 Bradshaw - Seventeen Time Hardcore Champion - Won From Tommy Dreamer 8/19/03 - Lost To Crash Holly 8/19/03

5 Crash Holly - Twenty Two Time Hardcore Champion - Won From Bradshaw 8/19/03 - Lost to Tommy Dreamer 8/19/03

4 Tommy Dreamer - Fourteen Time Hardcore Champion - Won From Crash Holly 8/19/03 - Lost To Rob Van Dam 8/26/03

3 Rob Van Dam - Four Time Hardcore Champion - Won From Tommy Dreamer 8/26/02 - Lost To Tommy Dreamer 11/9/03

2 Tommy Dreamer - Fifteen Time Hardcore Champion - Won From Rob Van Dam 11/9/03 - Lost To Stevie Richards 11/9/03

1 Stevie Richards - Twenty Two Time Hardcore Champion - Won From Tommy Dreamer 11/9/03 - Current World Cruiserweight Champion

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General Manager's Tournament Standings

0 Losses

Hardcore Holly

Bill DeMott

Funaki

Mark Henry

One Loss

Johnny Stamboli

Paul London

Akio

Josh Mathews

Two Losses

Eliminated

Results

Bill DeMott d. Josh Mathews

Hardcore Holly d. Akio

Mark Henry d. Paul London

Funaki d. Johnny Stamboli

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[maddog]

3) Richards announcing Malenko and Savinovich as the new announce team?

My favorite moment.

[Guest Uruloke]

2) Funaki sneaking out the win over Johnny Stamboli

Funaki gud.

[Essa]

Sorry to be a party pooper, but if you're going to answer the question, please give some sort of reasoning. It's meant to be a way to interact, and encourage feedback, not to boost your post count.