Bloodrayne bombs

[Laice07]

Hilarious Boll interview from 1UP

Director Uwe Boll doesn't get much slack. For better or worse, he doesn't seem to care. When 1UP interviewed the German filmmaker, though, he seemed confident videogame fans would find more to like about his adaptation of Majesco and Terminal Reality's vampiric action series BloodRayne starring Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines actress Kristanna Loken.

"The first movie I actually really went into the development process was BloodRayne, so I'm curious to see now that I'm almost finished with the movie, to see what the reviews say then or what the people tell me about it then," he said back in August. "I'm quite happy with it, script and everything, and I cannot really say I see a lot of mistakes in that movie right now."

So far, the reviews have not been positive (though Boll seems to openly dispute them). BloodRayne opened this weekend against horror director Eli Roth's much hyped Hostel, and though the weekend hasn't finished out, Box Office Mojo reports BloodRayne didn't even crack the top 10 on Friday, bringing in $450,000 and averaging only $457 per theater, while Hostel walked away with the top spot.

Though the numbers don't bode well for BloodRayne's box office success, we fired off some questions to Boll this week via e-mail asking about the film, and here, completely unedited, are his thoughts. Stay tuned for an interview with Kristanna Loken on Monday.

1UP: Did Majesco approach you about the project first, or did you play the game and suddenly have a "Eureka!" moment? How's it been working with Majesco vs. Sega and Atari?

Uwe Boll: i saw the game and i liked it

1UP: You have also said BloodRayne is the only videogame film you'd want to develop a sequel for. What's so special about the Bloodrayne universe?

UB: i like her character and working with kristanna

1UP: Why are you forgoing critic screenings for BloodRayne?

UB: we have a premiere where the press can come. piracy is also a problem

1UP: What stood out about the casting of Kristanna Loken? In the latest issue of FHM (an American men's magazine), she's quoted on the cover as saying "I love being naked." C'mon, tell us, that must be it.

UB: yes. and she is in the movie naked

1UP: Several times you've mentioned Loken's sexiness as one of her defining traits. Do you consider sexuality an important part of your films?

UB: yes - because VAMPIRES movies are sexy

1UP: In another interview, you mentioned sometimes surviving on apples and chocolate on set. What made shooting BloodRayne so difficult?

UB: bad crews, bad food - great landscapes

1UP: Rayne is a violence-prone product of rape. How did you help Loken identify with that kind of character?

UB: i didnt helped her - i throwed [sic] her in her first scene in a situation where a guy wants to rape

1UP: Though BloodRayne hasn't officially screened for critics, there have been some select showings, one of which prompted a sharply negative review by Ain't It Cool News, a site you previously told 1UP you read. Is that the response you were expecting?

UB: no. HARRY and Quint are retards

1UP: How was Ben Kinglsey on the set? Rumor has it he's always wanted to play a vampire.

UB: super diciplined [sic]. this is true

1UP: It's understandable Meatloaf had fun working with the prostitutes during filming, but how did you even come up with the idea of casting Meatloaf? How did you track him down?

UB: he has LOKENS manager

1UP: Can you talk about how you're splitting up In the Name of the King: Dungeon Siege? Will they act as separate stories ala Lord of the Rings, or more akin to Kill Bill, where you're left hanging?

UB: it will be one 2.30 hours theartrical [sic] movie and a 3 hour DVD version

1UP: You've mentioned in other interviews that your next projects are already financed, but how will the recent change in German tax law affect later projects?

UB: we will see

1UP: Sum up what we should expect from Postal in one sentence.

UB: the biggest desaster [sic] on earth - but not for me - for AMERICA

Link

I am so confused by this interview. I'm pretty sure Boll has the intellectual intelligence of Rain Man or Forrest Gump. I'd just like to see his meetings w/ his financers:

Financers: "Well Uwe, HOTD made $5 million and we didn't even bother collecting the checks for Alone in the Dark. Why would we finance Bloodrayne and Dungeon Siege?"

Boll: "Loken is getting naked in Bloodrayne and Bruce Reynolds is signed on for Dungeon Siege"

Financers: "Keep up the great work!"

*Boll walks out the door, but stops turns around...and says:

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

[Dyko]

I read somehwere that Boll has a lot of financial backing from a number of German companies. They back his movies, becvause they are always pretty much guaranteed to be a loss, which the companies get to write off. It's like giving to charity.

I have no respect for Uwe Boll at all. He does what he wants instead of what he is preassured into doing? That would be fine if what he wanted wasn't slow motion shots every 25 seconds, and a Matrix Effect whenever he wakes up in the edit suite and remembers to kick his editor's chair.

5 minutes of scrolling text that explains the entire backstory of a movie is fantastic. His movies are all 100% get-drunk-and-laugh-your-ass-off movies.

Around when Alone in the Dark came out, SomethingAwful.com had a special segment on Uwe Boll. It was a bunch of emails submitted by one of the people who worked on the script re-writes for the movie, and Boll seriously has no idea what he is doing. I'll try and find it, but he spends half the time talking about how he wants Slater's character to have less backstory, and be more like Neo or The Crow. Gotta love a director who's direction includes explaining which popular movie characters his protagonist should be more like.

Uwe Boll movies are why movie piracy exists.

I also love the way he only makes B and C level game movies...like not that the games were bad, but none of them are particularly huge hits or anything...

Also, "the biggest desaster on earth - but not for me - for AMERICA" is probably one of the best things I've ever read. That should be Postal's tagline. Word-for-word.

Edited January 12, 2006 by Dyko

[ROC]

Hilarious Boll interview from 1UP

Director Uwe Boll doesn't get much slack. For better or worse, he doesn't seem to care. When 1UP interviewed the German filmmaker, though, he seemed confident videogame fans would find more to like about his adaptation of Majesco and Terminal Reality's vampiric action series BloodRayne starring Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines actress Kristanna Loken.

"The first movie I actually really went into the development process was BloodRayne, so I'm curious to see now that I'm almost finished with the movie, to see what the reviews say then or what the people tell me about it then," he said back in August. "I'm quite happy with it, script and everything, and I cannot really say I see a lot of mistakes in that movie right now."

So far, the reviews have not been positive (though Boll seems to openly dispute them). BloodRayne opened this weekend against horror director Eli Roth's much hyped Hostel, and though the weekend hasn't finished out, Box Office Mojo reports BloodRayne didn't even crack the top 10 on Friday, bringing in $450,000 and averaging only $457 per theater, while Hostel walked away with the top spot.

Though the numbers don't bode well for BloodRayne's box office success, we fired off some questions to Boll this week via e-mail asking about the film, and here, completely unedited, are his thoughts. Stay tuned for an interview with Kristanna Loken on Monday.

1UP: Did Majesco approach you about the project first, or did you play the game and suddenly have a "Eureka!" moment? How's it been working with Majesco vs. Sega and Atari?

Uwe Boll: i saw the game and i liked it

1UP: You have also said BloodRayne is the only videogame film you'd want to develop a sequel for. What's so special about the Bloodrayne universe?

UB: i like her character and working with kristanna

1UP: Why are you forgoing critic screenings for BloodRayne?

UB: we have a premiere where the press can come. piracy is also a problem

1UP: What stood out about the casting of Kristanna Loken? In the latest issue of FHM (an American men's magazine), she's quoted on the cover as saying "I love being naked." C'mon, tell us, that must be it.

UB: yes. and she is in the movie naked

1UP: Several times you've mentioned Loken's sexiness as one of her defining traits. Do you consider sexuality an important part of your films?

UB: yes - because VAMPIRES movies are sexy

1UP: In another interview, you mentioned sometimes surviving on apples and chocolate on set. What made shooting BloodRayne so difficult?

UB: bad crews, bad food - great landscapes

1UP: Rayne is a violence-prone product of rape. How did you help Loken identify with that kind of character?

UB: i didnt helped her - i throwed [sic] her in her first scene in a situation where a guy wants to rape

1UP: Though BloodRayne hasn't officially screened for critics, there have been some select showings, one of which prompted a sharply negative review by Ain't It Cool News, a site you previously told 1UP you read. Is that the response you were expecting?

UB: no. HARRY and Quint are retards

1UP: How was Ben Kinglsey on the set? Rumor has it he's always wanted to play a vampire.

UB: super diciplined [sic]. this is true

1UP: It's understandable Meatloaf had fun working with the prostitutes during filming, but how did you even come up with the idea of casting Meatloaf? How did you track him down?

UB: he has LOKENS manager

1UP: Can you talk about how you're splitting up In the Name of the King: Dungeon Siege? Will they act as separate stories ala Lord of the Rings, or more akin to Kill Bill, where you're left hanging?

UB: it will be one 2.30 hours theartrical [sic] movie and a 3 hour DVD version

1UP: You've mentioned in other interviews that your next projects are already financed, but how will the recent change in German tax law affect later projects?

UB: we will see

1UP: Sum up what we should expect from Postal in one sentence.

UB: the biggest desaster [sic] on earth - but not for me - for AMERICA

Link

I am so confused by this interview. I'm pretty sure Boll has the intellectual intelligence of Rain Man or Forrest Gump. I'd just like to see his meetings w/ his financers:

Financers: "Well Uwe, HOTD made $5 million and we didn't even bother collecting the checks for Alone in the Dark. Why would we finance Bloodrayne and Dungeon Siege?"

Boll: "Loken is getting naked in Bloodrayne and Bruce Reynolds is signed on for Dungeon Siege"

Financers: "Keep up the great work!"

*Boll walks out the door, but stops turns around...and says:

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

[Skummy]

Gotta love a director who's direction includes explaining which popular movie characters his protagonist should be more like.

I'm fairly sure a large number of directors do that. It's easier to say "make him a bit more like X" than listing character traits for half an hour.

[gunnar hendershow]

Uwe Boll should make a movie of him being interviewed. It would, quite frankly, be one of the greatest comedies ever.

[Lint]

You know, I have Alone In The Dark on DVD and have NEVER watched it. I bought it at Blockbuster so I could get one of those 3 for $25 deals, but I never really had any ambition to watch it. Is it REALLY that bad>

[Pepsi]

You know, I have Alone In The Dark on DVD and have NEVER watched it. I bought it at Blockbuster so I could get one of those 3 for $25 deals, but I never really had any ambition to watch it. Is it REALLY that bad>

[gunnar hendershow]

You know, I have Alone In The Dark on DVD and have NEVER watched it. I bought it at Blockbuster so I could get one of those 3 for $25 deals, but I never really had any ambition to watch it. Is it REALLY that bad>

It was the worst reviewed movie of 2005.

[Benji]

You know, I have Alone In The Dark on DVD and have NEVER watched it. I bought it at Blockbuster so I could get one of those 3 for $25 deals, but I never really had any ambition to watch it. Is it REALLY that bad>

It makes some fun drinking games. But it is truely that bad.

For example, drink every time the movie sucks. You'll be dead before you even pop it in the DVD player.

[Pepsi]

You know, I have Alone In The Dark on DVD and have NEVER watched it. I bought it at Blockbuster so I could get one of those 3 for $25 deals, but I never really had any ambition to watch it. Is it REALLY that bad>

It makes some fun drinking games. But it is truely that bad.

[GoGo Yubari]

UB: the biggest desaster [sic] on earth - but not for me - for AMERICA

Best line EVER.

[Farmer Reil]

The Bloodrayne game sucked copious amounts of ass. Why would a movie, especially one directed by Uwe Bollocks, be anything less than a complete waste of time and money?

And he's doing Dungeon Siege next? Why, God, why?

If he gets the rights to a Metal Gear movie, and a fucking Half-Life movie, someone is going to have to kill him. Seriously. I'd volunteer, but I'm busy that week.

[SeanDMan]

At least we got vampire breasts. Lickable, delicious vampire breasts.

There's already rumors abound he's working on a Hitman game to film adaptation. Don't be suprised if he has an unfortunate run in with a Hitman before the move is complete.