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<body><p align="center"><img src="http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/EWBdiary.jpg" alt="The image “http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/EWBdiary.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors." width="624" height="81"></p><p align="center">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p align="left"><i>Exciting Backstory:</i></p><p align="left">In 2004, a group of English-speaking teenagers formed a wrestling promotion, SOMEWHERE IN EUROPE! This is a video-tape (converted into words) of what they found there (in the wrestling industry)!</p><p align="left">At times it may be shocking and repulsive, at others it may be very exciting! Without further ado, let's look at the exciting roster...</p><p align="center">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p align="left"><i>Exciting Roster:</i></p><p align="left"><b>Vince Russo:</b></p><p align="left">This a bad motherfucker. You don't wanna mess with him, and his back issues of the Wrestling Observer. He gonna know lots about wrestling on yo' monkey ass. Dig that? And then, he will say something really quite insulting about you, and possibly your intelligence.</p><p><b>Iwc:</b></p><p>Driven by the dark forces of apathy and carrying his mysterious sign 'EWB = Ugh' his destruction and discombobulation of his wretched opponents is serene in its vagueness. He'd rather be somewhere else, but dammit, if he has to be here, he's going to kick your punk ass all over town.</p><p><b>Sean D Man:</b></p><p>I pity the fool who starts an argument with Sean D Man. His promos are a thing of beauty as he dissects his opponent's diatribes sentence by sentence, word by word, letter by letter. And then, when you've been reducing to a blubbering mass of valid point-less man-blubber, he'll...um...pin you...and stuff.</p><p><b>The Old Age Admins (Kobra &amp; Muddatrucker)</b></p><p>They don't stop by here much any more, but when they do, it's to kick the ass of some punk young pretender. You ready for a whupping, kid? Huh? Well? Are you? Ready to be whupped, huh? And so on.</p><p><b>Kliqster</b></p><p>A shadowy figure, who sits high above the ring at EWB shows, mending and fixing problems, and pistol-whipping any douche in the crowd who doesn't cheer. On the few ocassions he steps into the ring, he uses an unorthodox style, based around Japanese martial arts such as Peehaitchpee, Myskwull and even the cruder Haitchteemell. He also wears shades.</p><p><b>The Midget</b></p><p>A connving, dirty character, who often plays the role of a manager, helping his chosen charges to the top by any means neccesary. He calls himself 'Los Manager del Champions' which is believed to be Spanish for 'windbreak' OR WHATEVER.</p><p><b>Sycodmn</b></p><p>Yo, dudes, this somewhat radical Californian native sure knows how to have him a good time. He will use alcohol and many other crazy drugs to do this. He is known for his unscrupulous morals and roughneck fighting style. He can often be seen with his personal lackey, <b>Pancho Villa</b>. They occasionally team in a pairing known simply as 'Sycodmn'.</p><p><b>Grind Your Soul's Shadowy Gothic Underground Lair Army of Doom (GYSSGULAD)</b></p><p>The premier stable in EWB, GYSSGULAD are a somewhat gothic, slightly shadowy group of semi-twisted individuals, about whom some things are known, but not that all that many. Their leader <b>Grind Your Soul</b> is well-known for his many piercings, and mean hockey skills. His underlings, <b>Cloud Strife</b> and<b>Gabriel</b> often form a fairly formidable tag team, and also listen to THE SATANIC METAL MUSIC OF THE DEVIL HIMSELF. The fourth member <b>Tristy</b> does not really fit with the group, and can often be seen hanging around their DoomLairCastle saying 'um...' and 'uh...' whilst unsuccessfully attempting to wear black clothing. </p><p><b>Agent Risktaker</b></p><p>He is a real American, he fights for the right of every man! Except foreign ones! AR is a real apple pie, college football, American-made man! If you're a foreigner, chances are he's not too keen on you, and will do bad things to you. U-S-A! U-S-A!</p><p><b>Kou &amp; Squancho's Team of Men</b></p><p>This powerhouse tag team (of men) are well known as the most entertaining and charismatic workers in EWB. Squancho reminds observers of The Rock, with his many catchphrases, and because he is BLACK, REALLY! Kou, on the other hand, is an accomplished artist, with his famous 'Kou Koumics Koumic Strip Kou Kou Kou PUN PUN' comic strip being syndicated by zero newspapers, and read by idiots everywhere. This zany duo are full to the brim with hijinks!</p><p><b>The Straight Edge</b></p><p>This tag team is comprised of <b>CM Punk</b> and <b>Fitzy</b>, and they are known for the abstinence from drugs (including alcohol, which some people say is not a drug, but they are not correct, because SPEED KILLS so I wish you a SAFE DRIVE, sir) and casual sex. This makes them better than other people, because they do not get shot by angry drug dealers. They share a liking for independent wrestling, and this makes them very dangerous to fight!</p><p><b>Soul'jah</b> </p><p>Red Front, Red Front, Trotsky, Lenin, Mao, Guevara, Stalin, Tito, Marx, Engels, Kardelj, Bukharin, Brezhnev, Marchais, Castro, even Picasso! Not McDonalds! Yes, he is a Communist, and he fights for the re-distribution of wealth to crappy peasants, and land too. If you do not shut up, he will nationalize your face!</p><p><b>Kaneanite</b></p><p>This young man suffered a TRAGIC ACCIDENT soon after he was born, and was horribly burned by his brother, or half-brother or whatever. Even though he looks fine, HE WAS BURNED. The emotional scars run deeper for this man than the physical scars (which ARE there), and this leads to precarious situations!</p><p><b>Conniption</b></p><p>5/10 for you, Zero for you, you suck...10, you are good. Yes, he is A REVIEWER, and he will review many things, which can lead to situations when people disagree with the review and it can lead to a violent result, so WATCH OUT.</p><p><b>The Business Man</b></p><p>Hey baby, it's all business. And money/finanical issues. Business, baby. And other slick phrases. TBM lives up to his name, by being, literally, a man concerned with affairs of business. He will be reading the Financial Times, and stuff. He will fight you...but don't worry...it's just _______ (I forgot what word goes here).</p><p><b>YET TO DEBUT</b></p><p><b>Marsh</b></p><p><b>'Big Sexy' Jook</b></p><p><b>Drag-Pac</b></p><p><b>Sahymes Bond (International Man of MYSTERIES)</b></p><p><b>Tom</b></p><p><i>These people will have exciting gimmicks, but will be revealed through on-screen vignettes.</i></p><p><b>PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST SORT OF AROUND:</b></p><p><b>Caucasian Heat</b></p><p><b>Troy Maskell</b></p><p><b>Tawren</b></p><p><b>Rubber Band Man</b></p><p><b>Nabeel</b></p><p><b>Corey T</b></p><p><b>Boris Yeltsin</b></p><p><i>More will be added as necessary to take part in particular angles/storylines etc. </i></p><p align="center">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p align="left"><b>Commissioner:</b> <b>Emperor Fuckshit</b></p><p align="left"><b>Commentators: Diego &amp; Essa</b></p><p align="left"><b>Interviewer: Jeff Hardy's Stalker</b></p><p align="left"><b>Titles: EWB World, EWB Tag Team</b>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p align="left">First show preview coming soon...</p></body>

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If you do not shut up, he will nationalize your face!

I am so badly going to steal that line for something. I WILL find an application for it in real life if it kills me.

Edited by stokeriño
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Just sort of around.

JUST SORT OF AROUND?

I am offended dear sir. I can be good. Is it MY fault Kaneanite screwed me.

I could be in GYS's Shadowy Gothic Shadowy intrigue thingy, I mean.....we both show spontaneous Wade Belak love.

Does that not count for anything?

user posted image

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Just sort of around.

JUST SORT OF AROUND?

I am offended dear sir. I can be good. Is it MY fault Kaneanite screwed me.

I could be in GYS's Shadowy Gothic Shadowy intrigue thingy, I mean.....we both show spontaneous Wade Belak love.

Does that not count for anything?

user posted image

No...it doesn't.

And your serious lack of angst shows that you do not belong in the GYSSGULAD.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go listen to death metal and write about how much the world hates me... :shifty:

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Oh I have angst.

But it's more "Kill the Head Booker" Angst than "I hate the World" Angst.

Such is the life of a jobber

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I am offended dear sir. I can be good. Is it MY fault Kaneanite screwed me.

You sir are a lier! I remember no such incident where I screwed you or anyone that may read this! I remember it as clearly as these non-existent scars! They are there! Look! LOOK!

*waves 'scars' in the face of passer-bys*

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You sir are a lier!  I remember no such incident where I screwed you or anyone that may read this!  I remember it as clearly as these non-existent scars!  They are there!  Look!  LOOK!

*waves 'scars' in the face of passer-bys*

Playing with Imaginary Fire can be Imaginarily Lethal I hear

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Guest Rubber Band Man

You ever notice how many complaints you get when someone starts an EWB diary?

"Why am I not it it?"

"PUSH ME"

and etc....

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You ever notice how many complaints you get when someone starts an EWB diary?

"Why am I not it it?"

"PUSH ME"

and etc....

OMG!!! SMELL TEH IRONIE! HE IS COMPLAINING ABOUT PPL COMPLAINING!! LOL!!!!!!!!11!!eleven!

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I'm truly wounded. For the most part, I wouldn't say I'm in great company with the people who are "just around". Nabeel? coreyt? Rubber Band Man? Am I considered on the same level as these people? Tear.

Meh, this should be cool, all EWB diaries usually are.

Edited by caucasianheat
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hehe, im glad to see you're back with what will hopefully be another awesome comedy diary. What about giving C-heat, um... a latino-heat gimmick? but with... it being... Caucasian-Heat? You know? You could play it so he is from the Caucaus in central asia, or just be the super sexy white guy that he is, you feelin' me?

Bukharin was an anarchist btw >_>

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<p align="center"><img src="http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/EWBdiary.jpg" alt="The image “http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v56/jed123/EWBdiary.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors." width="624" height="81"></p><p><b>WORLD TITLE TOURNAMENT ANNOUNCED:</b></p><p>At a press conference earlier today, EWB CEO <b>Emperor Fuckshit</b> announced the following brackets for the <b>EWB World Title Tournament:</b></p><p>Sycodmn vs. Sean D Man</p><p>Iwc vs. The Midget</p><p>Vince Russo vs. Muddatrucker</p><p>Kobra vs. Tristy</p><p>This promises to be a thrilling, single elimination ride through the boundaries of known pleasure and into the sea of utopia beyond.</p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p><p><b>PREVIEW FOR TV SHOW #1:</b></p><p>The inaugural episode of EWB's flagship TV show, <b>'Make a Donation'</b>, is already being planned, with the following matches sure to occur:</p><p><b>Iwc vs. The Midget </b>(Tournament, First Round)</p><p><b>Kou &amp; Squancho's Team of Men vs. The Straight Edge</b></p><p><b>Kobra vs. Tristy</b> (Tournament, First Round)</p><p><b>GGYSGULAD vs. Corey T, Boris Yeltsin &amp; Nabeel</b></p><p><b>Tawren vs. Rubber Band Man</b></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Plus, <b>JHS</b> catches up with such ring luminaries as <b>Kaneanite</b> and<b>Tom</b>, and <b>Marsh </b>will have an exciting video package AND MUCH MORE FOR THE FANS!</p><p>Tune in, this week to...<b>Make a Donation!</b></p><p>--------------------------------------------------</p>

Edited by Emperor Fuckshit
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You ever notice how many complaints you get when someone starts an EWB diary?

"Why am I not it it?"

"PUSH ME"

and etc....

Wow, you're a massive fucking hypocrite. When you say something like this BG, it's supposed to work 2 ways, it would be the complete opposite if you weren't in the diary. So stop trying to be fucking clever, are we supposed to have forgot the past 2 years of you going "Please sign me for this diary, i'll be good. If you do, i'll read this" etc. also "I didn't have 800 posts when the scenario was made, but I do now. So I deserve to be here. PS Essa sucks, fire him." And numerous other verbal fellatings you've given. So stop trying to be Confucius and stating the obvious, when you're the worst of the bunch.

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<b>GGYSGULAD vs. Corey T, Boris Yeltsin &amp; Nabeel</b>

WOOHOO!!!

WE GET A JOBBER MATCH!

You're going down, guy who I don't know, foreign politician, and kid who no one likes!!!

Oh, uh.. in character.. uh..

"The darkness has consumed my soul, and the light that this world shines upon me only condemns me to suffer. My minions and I were brought together in this lair of darkness to plan the demise of the EWB.

Tristy, with his semi-black clothing and lack of verbiage, is a tortured soul, turned down by every Meg White-look-alike girl in the United States and Toronto. But NO MORE. With the GGYSGULAD by his side, Tristy will no longer no the feeling of rejection, the ever-lasting pain of heartbreak.

Gabriel, his passionate "love" for that guy from Pirates of the Carribean aside, is a black soul that has been brought to me due to his hatred of the so-called "world". His torment from outsiders who do not understand his need to have buttsex with men shall not be exploited any longer. Gabriel's pain shall be used against his victims, and no longer against him.

CloudStrife, his knowledge of the music of the masters aside, is just kinda cool to have around. And his mullet attracts attention. Gothic attention. Or something.

And myself, well, I'm tired of talking. So just beware - take care - and remember, the FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT!"

*disappears into a puff of smoke*

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WOOHOO!!!

WE GET A JOBBER MATCH!

You're going down, guy who I don't know, foreign politician, and kid who no one likes!!!

Oh, uh.. in character.. uh..

"The darkness has consumed my soul, and the light that this world shines upon me only condemns me to suffer. My minions and I were brought together in this lair of darkness to plan the demise of the EWB.

Tristy, with his semi-black clothing and lack of verbiage, is a tortured soul, turned down by every Meg White-look-alike girl in the United States and Toronto. But NO MORE. With the GGYSGULAD by his side, Tristy will no longer no the feeling of rejection, the ever-lasting pain of heartbreak.

Gabriel, his passionate "love" for that guy from Pirates of the Carribean aside, is a black soul that has been brought to me due to his hatred of the so-called "world". His torment from outsiders who do not understand his need to have buttsex with men shall not be exploited any longer. Gabriel's pain shall be used against his victims, and no longer against him.

CloudStrife, his knowledge of the music of the masters aside, is just kinda cool to have around. And his mullet attracts attention. Gothic attention. Or something.

And myself, well, I'm tired of talking. So just beware - take care - and remember, the FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT!"

*disappears into a puff of smoke*

Belak Lover :P

Turn your back on me will ya?

Just you wait. :shifty:

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Tristy, with his semi-black clothing and lack of verbiage, is a tortured soul, turned down by every Meg White-look-alike girl in the United States and Toronto.

:(

She didn't turn me down, she was just, you know, dating you. :P

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