Games that are fun, but have a pain in the ass component

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That's the second one here that was mentioned on Cracked.com

[Mick]

The original Turtles game that I played on the C64: THE UNDERWATER DAM BOMB DIFFUSION LEVEL.

My God the five year old me was once reduced to tears by how hard it was.

It was just as hard on the NES, believe me.

I actually beat the game (using codes ), and it's basically the same thing right after another.

Which is fine with pretty much every video game, except in this case, it's the shitty TMNT game.

[TheRyno]

Shenmue 2 for the Dreamcast (imported copy since it wasn't released in the States other than the XBox), the underground fight against the one chick. I played this repeatedly for a few days and couldn't beat her at all so I decided to not play for a while. I didn't even touch the game until a year later when I popped it in and beat it first try. I beat the game a few days later.

[Guest Kou]

And Battletoads in general. I want to love that game, but goddamn it is the most annoyingly frustrating thing ever assembled.

Hi, my name is Kou J Kouerson and the following will be a rant on Battletoads for the Nintendo Entertainment System. That's the Famicon, to you Hammy.

First off to Angelic Diablo, the Hoverbike level you speak of is in the third level of the game. Although the first two levels become a blur because 90% of the people pound nails into their dicks and ragequit after dying five thousand times on that third level.

You see this? Good, because it's the furthest most of you will ever get in this fucking nightmarish hell of a game.

Don't believe me? Watch this douche slog through it.

(And totally not hit that warp point near the end of the stage during super hyper fast bullshit zone 2k6. That white explosion like thing before the tenth wall? Yeah that's a warp, good luck timing that asshole.)

The reason I am saying you, and not I, is because being a gaming masochist I have made it my goal in 2008 to defeat Battletoads legitimately on the NES. No abusing the second player continue cheat, which means I only have my mettle and three continues to slog my way through this macabre platformer.

The problems start as soon as you hit stage three, Turbo Tunnel. Everything starts out fine, standard beat 'em up and platforming with some sort of moving brain in the background and then suddenly out of nowhere you're forced to read through Norris Scott's Pokemon fanfiction at the speed of light. Getting the cold taste of the back of a hand if you didn't remember who gulped when someone else dropped their pants.

In all reality you're actually strapped to a jet-fueled rocket bike while you dodge chunks of Pink Panther insulation that was no doubt torn from the homes of victims of Hurricane Katrina. When you start off on the bike you gain a little confidence, you might think to yourself; "Hey! This isn't so bad, I mean every level has got something new and exciting!"

This is before your happy cheery gamer heart is ripped from your chest as the Dark Evil Queen cackles, before stomping on it with stiletto shoes. Of course as soon as you get further into the level it starts to get faster...and faster still. Your only hope of survival is summoning the spirts of dead Asian gamers (probably the ones that died playing too much WoW) and draining them off all their skill so you could maybe, just maybe, see Level 4: Artic Caverns.

Or you could just be a bitch and play it on an emulator with save states. Which is how I've defeated this bastard of a game.

Battletoads' problems don't end there though, hey do you have a friend who's really awesome at video games? You do!? Great! I didn't know you ever left the house King Ellis, that's super that you know peoples. Anyways, even if you somehow manage not to fuck up and die during the Turbo Tunnels or Surf City OR the goddamn Snake Pit you can't beat the game with two players. Why you ask? Well the biggest bug of all, in the North American released versions of Battletoads the second player can't move in the eleventh level, Clinger Winger. Now you're saying to yourself, that must suck right? You can't even die and lose all three continues to let the first player play on. Oh but you're wrong, Clinger Winger is a desperate race for your life where you utilize an ab-roller to escape the spirit of the 70s.

But let us put aside all the problems with Battletoads, even if you make it to the final level and defeat the Dark Queen you get a pretty awesome ending right? I mean, Kou J Kouerson as you live and breathe as a person who has beaten Battletoads surely this ending is one for the ages!!!??

Fuck you, Rare.

Edited August 1, 2008 by Kou

[VerbalPuke]

You see this? Good, because it's the furthest most of you will ever get in this fucking nightmarish hell of a game.

In my case, quoted for absolute truth.

I loved the Warriors, but hated the last fight. The leader of the Rogues has a fucking gun. And you? Beer bottles. That's fair, beer bottles vs. a gun. Bullshit.

Edited August 1, 2008 by VerbalPuke

[Mick]

I wonder if it's in bad taste to mention that I've beaten Battletoads.

Edited August 1, 2008 by Mick MacLeod

[The Kraig]

Dead Rising.

I find the game hard to play because of some relatively minor faults that could have easily been avoided:

Lack of a decent save system. Why bathrooms are save from zombies, I don't know.

Weapons that expire, when in reality could probably last much longer.

Bosses that are seemingly immortal and can only be killed in obscure ways which can only be figured our by using a guide, or just doing it over and over and over again.

Stupid controls. For some reason my controller thinks I want to leap into a mass of zombies instead of run past them. Luckily this only happens once you learn a certain move, which I call the 'suicide leap'.

Incredible tiny text that is impossible to read on a standard TV. It really bugs you after a while, after it seems like a small problem. It's a game-crippling problem, as you sometimes have no idea what the fuck the game is trying to get you to do.

Constant side-missions when you're trying to get on with the main game. Surely they should just be optional? I know you don't have to answer the pager, but Christ it's annoying.

These combined make it almost impossible for me to enjoy. I've started at least five games, had great fun, killed a boss or two and then died before saving, and then you're back at square one, feeling annoyed and I usually just stick it back in storage for another half a year.

The original Turtles game that I played on the C64: THE UNDERWATER DAM BOMB DIFFUSION LEVEL.

My God the five year old me was once reduced to tears by how hard it was.

This fucking bastard level?

If so, then yes, I agree. Fucking ridiculous level, I did it a handful of times without switching character.

Edited August 1, 2008 by The Kraig

[Lint]

I beat the Dam level in Ninja turtles easily when I was a youngin...then again, I did have the issue of Nintendo Power that had a map of all the bomb locations

As for those vehicle levels of Battletoads, yea..me and my friends often got pissed at those levels..they resulted in MANY broken controllers..finally our parents basically said "We're not buying you anymore" to us to get us to stop spiking them on the floor when we lost. Eventually, we decided to play through the levels on single player, doing a "trial and error" type of map making...one of us would play, the other would map out where the walls etc....all were.

[Guest Kou]

I wonder if it's in bad taste to mention that I've beaten Battletoads.

You should read the part where I have too.

[Vamp]

Those fucking zombies in Uncharted pissed me off. They'd been built up but the whole darkness of it all came as quite a shock to the system. That and the usual routine of hiding, aiming and shooting was useless against them.

However, finding out how to mow through them was pretty rewarding,

[Captain Kirk]

I thought the zombies were pretty easy all you really had to do was run and gun. The last boss in Uncharted however was very cheap took me a good few playthroughs to beat it.

[Xand]

The original Turtles game that I played on the C64: THE UNDERWATER DAM BOMB DIFFUSION LEVEL.

My God the five year old me was once reduced to tears by how hard it was.

This fucking bastard level?

If so, then yes, I agree. Fucking ridiculous level, I did it a handful of times without switching character.

Yup - that's the one. I want to know if I can campaign about whether it can be classed as child abuse.

[Benji]

The tire poppers in GTA. Realistic, slightly fun, but on long drives it's a royal pain in the ass.

[Timmoru Suzuki]

The driving test opening level of Driver. That frustrated the fuck out of me for ages.

And the Pro Evolution Soccer series. Great games, mostly, but I don't think they've ever developed a game where the CPU played football BETTER than you when you upped the difficulty. Instead, they make it more difficult by having every rebound go the way of the CPU, have you concede a foul for daring to exist and by having the CPU ignore the speed stat, so their slow 35-year old defender with a dodgy hip and a bad knee runs faster then your 18 year old speed-freak striker. All this while putting passes nowhere near where you aimed them. Oh, and the 'Classic CPU Pro Evo Goal' - smack the ball, ball takes a deflection off your defender who you weren't controlling, ball goes out for a corner. They take the corner, you hammer the header button like a bastard to no avail as a CPU striker out-jumps your defence and heads in. They occasionally vary this by having you head clear, only for the ball to take a series of uncontrollable, unstoppable and obsurd deflections until it lands at the feet of a CPU stiker who has an easy tap in from three yeards out.