Twilight *Spoilers Inside*

[The Mask of Norro]

Lorina and I weren't interested, at all, in this movie. We heard bad things, we didn't like the sound of the movie, we generally did not plan on seeing this movie whatsoever. That was, at least, until her friend decided that he absolutely had to see it and invite everyone along to come with him. So, we went, convinced a friend of ours (who, like us, she just did NOT want to see this movie) to come with us... and we watched the movie we all expected to be terrible.

Beginning of the movie, slow. Drug and was generally just a bit uninteresting for the most part.

Then the two lead characters met, and hilarity ensued. From the male lead's awkward reactions to everything to the female lead's erratic facial expressions and lower lip quivering, we realized we were watching a movie that may have been poorly judged because of the first thirty minutes or so we each had to suffer through. Once we got past that, the ball got rolling, and made way for a decently enjoyable flick.

There were some cliches, there were many expected things... but they handled them well, and actually mixed in some things to break the stereotype of vampire flicks as well as do a few (read: few) things that I didn't see coming.

Spoiler: Click here to view

I liked the randomization of their powers, it was interesting. The "OMG VAMPIRES ARE GLITTERY" revelation was a bit crap-tastic and I had a good laugh every time they used that cheesy sound effect with the glitter-skin in the sunlight. The wind blowing through the main chick's hair causing the vampires to get all hot and bothered with her scent made for a few laughs... honestly, that whole baseball scene was so over-the-top ridiculous that I actually wound up enjoying it.

Seriously, considering I absolutely hated the sound of this movie? It wasn't bad at all, I actually really enjoyed watching it, and so did Lorina and our friend. That being said, I think we had the benefit of low expectations... we went into this thing expecting something terrible and came out with an actually good, funny and interesting flick instead. I'm sure though that there were those who went in expecting greatness and were vastly disappointed by it all.

I'd recommend watching it, but don't go in expecting a lot. Try to go in not expecting anything and you might actually enjoy it. The scenes are so all-over-the-place and fast that in the beginning you're wondering why everything jumps so fast, but it actually turns out to be pretty humorous and allows the film to get the ball rolling much earlier on the story than it probably would have been able to.

Long story short of it is, apparently, low expectations make for great movie nights. Not a bad night out at all, and we didn't even have to pay for our tickets.

Edited November 22, 2008 by The Mask of Norro

[MalaCloudy Black]

I'm glad my friends and my girlfriend all hate Twilight, because I would absolutely refuse to be dragged to that movie on the grounds that the books are a steaming pile of piss wrapped in a crap enchilada with a side of "oh my god, this writing is barely better than that of a 14 year old "goth" girl". It's a shame Twilight's more than likely going to be the new Harry Potter, where I won't hear the end of that crap from retarded fanboys and fangirls for a while yet.

Edited November 22, 2008 by CAPSLOCK CLOUDY

[TGC]

I'm glad my friends and my girlfriend all hate Twilight, because I would absolutely refuse to be dragged to that movie on the grounds that the books are a steaming pile of piss wrapped in a crap enchilada with a side of "oh my god, this writing is barely better than that of a 14 year old "goth" girl". It's a shame Twilight's more than likely going to be the new Harry Potter, where I won't hear the end of that crap from retarded fanboys and fangirls for a while yet.

You read them?

[MalaCloudy Black]

I read through part of the first book before putting it down, because everyone was all "oh give it a chance!". I gave it a chance, it sucked harder than Pamela Anderson with Tommy Lee. Bad bad bad terribad bad bad BAD writing. It's just first person Mary Sue bullshit and some ridiculous, absurd stuff like how, like Norro said, the vampires glitter in sunlight. Just what. I swear to you I have seen 16 year old girls write better shit than that on DeviantArt, for crap's crapping sake.

[Sousa]

My wife and her sister went and saw Twilight last night, and I took her brother (who's nine) to see Bolt. Bolt was great.

What does all of this have to do with Twilight?

I swear to you, I have never seen so many fat chicks in my life than I saw in line for Twilight. It was like OprahCon '08 over there. I felt quite relieved that I was a person and not a pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream.

In conclusion, Norro is a fat chick.

[The Mask of Norro]

In conclusion, Norro is a fat chick.

... the friend of Lorina's that drug us to see it was a tall, skinny, homosexual Filipino guy. Quite the opposite of the short, fat, gothic white chick

And actually, in my area, I was expecting a sea of annoying high school freshman girls and, as you saw, overweight goth chicks. I got neither, the crowd was actually very mixed.

Anyway, I myself have not read the movie but I've heard terrible things about it. If the book is as bad as it sounds, then they must have done a damn good job with this movie, because it wasn't actually all too bad. I wouldn't call it a great movie, but it wasn't all that bad to be honest.

But, once again, Lorina and I went in with really low expectations of what we were going to get out of the flick, so that probably helped.

Oh and it also helped that we never waited in line, her friend purchased the tickets. Chances are we also wouldn't have enjoyed it as much if we paid for our own tickets >_>

Edited November 22, 2008 by The Mask of Norro

[NobBe Nobbs]

Four reasons why I will never willingly see this movie, read the books or do anything that directly makes the life of the author better:

1) VAMPIRES.

2) GLITTER.

3) IN.

4) SUNLIGHT.

[Sousa]

To be fair, though, I'm from Ohio, which has an extremely high number of fat chicks per capita. Likely why the line at the theater looked like the line outside Mike Awesome's dressing room circa 2000.

[The Mask of Norro]

When the dude started glittering I could hear Lorina and her friend cracking up and I myself was pretty perplexed. We were expecting something like out of Angel, when the vampire gets all fucked up looking and pissed off. No, instead, the reason why he can't go in sunlight and interact with other humans is because he's super glittery.

It's... it's different, but, it's just... well, it's pretty stupid.

Still though, the movie, as I said, wasn't that bad. The annoying part about it was after al the build-up, when they hit the very end they had the main chick practically begging to be bitten and then out of nowhere change her mind when he suggests they enjoy her life together for awhile or something to the effect, and then the runaway vampire chick just sort-of came in out of nowhere, watched them, then walked off with a smirk while she let down her hair. It was a cliffhanger for the next movie, basically, and while the movie wasn't bad at all... the ending kind-of sucked.

So basically, Lorina and I disliked the beginning, disliked the end, but everything in-between? That was actually fairly entertaining (for the most part, anyway).

[StevenRichardsRules]

What is this movie about? Other than vampires, obviously. All the channels here keep spamming it.

[TGC]

Probably should have marked this as spoileriffic Norro before you started giving spoilers out.

I will take care of it now.

[Benji]

In conclusion, Norro is a fat chick.

... the friend of Lorina's that drug us to see it was a tall, skinny, homosexual Filipino guy. Quite the opposite of the short, fat, gothic white chick

Pff, that's the male equivalent, you fool!

[Lj.]

I think this movie will get a lot of bad rap from people, just because there's so much hype about. Some people just bash it, because it got a ridiculous amount of attention. Me, being one of them, but I actually really liked this movie.

[Pepsi]

I'll stick with True Blood, thank you.

[RoyWill Rumble]

Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhh. I hate anyone who likes Twilight, and I especially hate girls over 16 who should have some fucking self-respect and realize how shit Twilight is. What pisses me off is that as stated, this book is NOT good. By no means is it absolutely fucking God-awful writing, but it is by no means good, yet it's being celebrated and it's become a fucking fad because these sexually repressed tween and teens who need a mysterious boy in their lives can't find one, so they need to fantasize about a FUCKING VAMPIRE. If that shit was real and these girls were Bella, it would be fucking statutory rape in most cases. Forget the mysterious boy that doesn't exist and just accept the boy who follows you everywhere. It gives boys like me a chance. =/

In summation, fuck Twilight, fuck anyone who likes it, no matter how attractive they are. I'm sure it's a moderately okay movie too, and according to reviews the acting's good when characters are dealing with emotions and shit, but when the movie gets to action and vampires it falls apart.

MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT TEENS IN LOVE, LEAVE OUT THE TACKED-ON VAMPIRES AND ACTION AND FUCK TWILIGHT. Fucccccccccccck it with a rusty screwdriver.

And why must girls squeal when they see all this Twilight shit? Why do you need to sound like a pig in slop? I hate working at a movie store. I want to clothesline every single one of these people in the throat.

Edited November 22, 2008 by Will.

[NobBe Nobbs]

Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhh. I hate anyone who likes Twilight, and I especially hate girls over 16 who should have some fucking self-respect and realize how shit Twilight is. What pisses me off is that as stated, this book is NOT good. By no means is it absolutely fucking God-awful writing, but it is by no means good, yet it's being celebrated and it's become a fucking fad because these sexually repressed tween and teens who need a mysterious boy in their lives can't find one, so they need to fantasize about a FUCKING VAMPIRE. If that shit was real and these girls were Bella, it would be fucking statutory rape in most cases. Forget the mysterious boy that doesn't exist and just accept the boy who follows you everywhere. It gives boys like me a chance. =/

In summation, fuck Twilight, fuck anyone who likes it, no matter how attractive they are. I'm sure it's a moderately okay movie too, and according to reviews the acting's good when characters are dealing with emotions and shit, but when the movie gets to action and vampires it falls apart.

MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT TEENS IN LOVE, LEAVE OUT THE TACKED-ON VAMPIRES AND ACTION AND FUCK TWILIGHT. Fucccccccccccck it with a rusty screwdriver.

And why must girls squeal when they see all this Twilight shit? Why do you need to sound like a pig in slop? I hate working at a movie store. I want to clothesline every single one of these people in the throat.

I love you man.

[apsham]

What is this movie about? Other than vampires, obviously. All the channels here keep spamming it.

Here, let me take a shot at this.

From what I understand, there were a bunch of chicks who liked to read Harry Potter back in the day. But they're getting older and they need something else to latch onto, now comes the Twilight series. It's a set of books.. I believe 4 or 5 of them and from the vague willingness I've had to learn from a girl that I knows who did indeed follow the Potter -> Twilight path, it's about a dude. Who's a vampire. And this chick, who likes him. It consists mostly of her wanting him, and him being all... ehhhh, and then her finding out he's a vampire and then there's tension for fuck knows how long before she's like "I want to be a vampire and be with you" and then it's just a load of DEALING WITH THAT ISSUE before yadda yadda yadda, and yeah.

In other words "I NEED MYSTERIOUS BOYS IN MY LIFE, OHHH HE'S SO DANGEROUS, BECAUSE HE'S A VAMPIRE."

[GA!]

I'm off to see Twilight when it comes out over here in December for two reasons. 1: I'm starting a (mainly) film review site in January, and I need an easy target to start with. 2: I'm curious about how it has got a fan following similar to Harry Potter and how they compare. I already imagine that while Potter does the British thing of mixing spectacle with a stiff upper lip approach to the Voldemort story (narrative over character), Twilight dwells in typically American traits: angst, pretension, pseudo-darkness, self-importance. I also see the new Star Trek film taking the same approach as Twilight.

[zero]

I'll stick with True Blood, thank you.

This.

Twilight seems like vampire kindergarten... True Blood is where it's at - blood, gore, gratuitous sex, all on top of a complex, deep story about love and bigotry.

[MalaCloudy Black]

And also Anna Paquin and Lizzy Caplan getting naked. That's what really matters.