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Oh dear god.


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Guest Angry Baboon
Posted

I found out about this from a friend I made at a concert I just got back from. A few of us were out on the dock and he started telling these stories. They're by Chuck Palahniuk, same guy who wrote Fight Club. It's three stories.

The first one, is kinda funny, in a sad way.

The second one just sucks, but interesting to read.

The third one though, watch the fuck out, I'm warning you. If you're the least bit squemish this will probably fuck you up. I'm not very squemish myself, and I fucking passed out while my friend was telling this. So don't say I didn't warn you.

http://www.seizureandy.com/stuff/guts.html

Good luck.

Posted

Do do do do you have it?

Do do do do you have it?

GUTS!

That story was sick, but I guess I'm sick, as it didn't really affect me except certain things they were talking about.

***Spoilers***

I had this urinary tract infection last year, and the doctor at the hospital had to stick a Q-Tip down my penis hole to get some cells. It stung like a bitch, so when they talked about masterbating that way, it brought back that shit, and I was afraid to pee again. Bastard.

Posted

It's funny how I can read through that, get mental images and be mildly disgusted, but the moment anyone mentions Tubgirl I get a flashback of the picture and gag.

I have a strong stomach when it comes to READING things...but seeing/smelling things is another story. Gah.

Pretty fucking brutal story there though...God damn.

Guest MuRd0K
Posted

as I said to squancho on the msn:

]-[ Jorge ]-[ says:

Oh my god....

]-[ Jorge ]-[ says:

lmao

]-[ Jorge ]-[ says:

I am supposed to be puking... but I'm laughing my ass off

[~Angry Baboon~] I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy. says:

it's horrid isn't it?

[~Angry Baboon~] I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy. says:

:o

[~Angry Baboon~] I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy. says:

j00 monster!!!11

[~Angry Baboon~] I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy. says:

He got disembowled through his butt!

[~Angry Baboon~] I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy. says:

HOW IS THAT FUNNY GOOD SIR

]-[ Jorge ]-[ says:

Who the fuck beats off underwater?

[~Angry Baboon~] I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy. says:

xd

[~Angry Baboon~] I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy. says:

true

]-[ Jorge ]-[ says:

and saying "Now I know why girls like it" it's the uber-gay

Posted

Wasn't that bad at all. I'm fine. I just feel really sorry for the guy, but hey he made a stupid mistake and is man enough to admit. Take note people...

old school masturbation is better.

Posted (edited)

I've seen this before. It was odd, there's an audio recording of this as well and it's supposedly funny if you hear it. I'll see if I can find the link.

EDIT: I'm not sure if I should post this what with it being an MP3 and all but I figure it's him reading his own work. So here's the MP3.

Linkage

Edited by Godfatha
Posted

Amusing story to tell if you're ever at a dinner party. I got to remember that :thumbsup:

But seriously, Chuck should just stick to writing gross-out stories, instead of randomly inserting them in his novels for no reason whatsoever other than to gross out people. Then again, his novels aren't much to sing about either...

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