General Football Thread

[EddieG]

Guessing the 9 year olds don't have offside.

That Valderrama lookalike isn't bad either.

[Lineker]

A Colombian lawyer is suing Fifa for 1bn Euros for moral damages caused by the refereeing at the World Cup.

74-year-old Aurelio Jimenez claims he was taken to hospital with cardiac and respiratory problems as a result of Colombia's 2-1 defeat to Brazil in the quarter-final - a match in which Colombian defender Mario Yepes had a goal disallowed and James Rodriguez was booked.

Jimenez says: "I decided to sue Fifa because in the World Cup there were many wrongdoings related to referees who damaged many countries , among them the Colombia team that suffered the corruption of referee Antonio Velasco Carballo, who annulled a fair goal of Mario Alberto Yepes.

"I felt very bad, I was heartbroken, my cardiac rhythm was altered and my relatives took me to the Emergency Room at the Hospital. I was surrounded by my grandchildren who were crying a lot."

[Gazz]

Can I sue the FA for England being wank?

[Colly]

I'm going to sue Phil Dowd for being a fat stupid cunt.

[Baddar]

Can I sue United for making a few grey hairs appear last season?

[Lineker]

Lincoln City manager Gary Simpson has revealed how he used jelly babies to help the team win against league leaders Barnet on Saturday.

He told BBC Radio Lincolnshire he would not rule out using jelly babies in future.

[Lineker]

James Alexander Gordon, one of the most recognisable voices in British broadcasting, has died aged 78. Gordon read the classified football results on BBC radio for 40 years before stepping down in 2013.

[Ant]

Surely this isn't Gazza?

Shit the bed. It is.

[Arjen Robben]

Christ, the man is 47.

[Lineker]

Fucking tragic.

This won't end until he's killed himself.

[Colly]

He's just signed for a Sunday League team, ut from what I remember of the last charity game he played a bit of he can barely run. This can't end well.

[Rich]

Hard paper route as a lad, that's all

[Colly]

Paper rund.

[Gazz]

The free bottle of Newcastle Brown with every paper didn't help.

[Gazz]

A group of American mothers are suing FIFA to limit the number of headers per game youth players can make.

Ridiculous and unenforceable.

[TCO]

Pretty funny if one team used there's up and a corner got put in high in the last minute against them. They'd have to stand helplessly and give everybody a free header!

[Rich]

In some slightly sad news:

Former Arsenal goalkeeper Manuel Almunia has announced his retirement after a heart condition was detected at a routine medical.

The Spaniard, 37, was set to join Serie A side Cagliari on a free transferafter two seasons at Watford.

Tests revealed Almunia, who played 175 times for Arsenal, has a potentially fatal genetic heart disorder.

"I can confirm that Manuel Almunia failed a medical due to a heart condition," said a Cagliari spokesman.

Apical hypertrophic cardiomyopathy is a disease of the heart tissue that causes it to thicken and can lead to sudden death.

Almunia began his playing career at home club Osasuna in 1999 before joining Arsenal in 2004 from Celta Vigo, leaving eight years later for Watford.

He replaced first-choice keeper Jens Lehmann in the 2006 Champions League final against Barcelona when the German was sent off in the first half. Arsenal lost the game 2-1.

Stolen from Lineker's lot

[Baddar]

Glad it was spotted though. He hasn't lost out much, he was 37 after all.

[Lineker]

Glad he found out this way rather than the Muamba way though.

[Lineker]

An Irish league footballer has been convicted of a nightclub assault on a rival player. Cliftonville goalkeeper Conor Devlin, a former Manchester United reserve player, knocked out Jim O'Hanlon with a single punch. He reacted after the Glentoran winger repeatedly pulled on Devlin's beard, Belfast Magistrates Court heard.