METALMAN

You can tell when Jamie Carragher isn’t joking because he spits in little girls’ faces.

: / is also acceptable

Have you ever considered

What he means here is that it is ridiculous in the context of big-spending Chelsea spending that money but not so obscene in the context of Liverpool because they have never spent a transfer fee on a player ever in the history of the world.

That is literally ancient history.

the previous few years in which they routinely forgot that injuries were a thing and that their manager likes to play a particularly high intensity style, didn’t sign enough players to fill out a full squad then spent the full season crying about how unlucky they were with injuries?

Maybe those are the fans naive enough to believe the Premier League will actually have the guts to penalise them for breaking the financial rules.

A lot of the players playing these days will have come of age back when Chelsea were winning lots of stuff and Liverpool were doing god knows what with Roy Hodgson etc. And kids are all glory hunters so I would expect a pretty large number of Chelsea fans among that generation.

I think Moises Caicedo will break the record for the most money spent on a player I’ve never previously heard of, so good for him.

So PSG just spent about £150 million on players this summer and now we’re suddenly supposed to believe they have no money to pay for the kit man or whatever?

If I were Harry Kane I’d go to Bayern for a year, win my trophy and then just go back to Spurs and chill.

They need to stop doing AFCON every two years. Too much.

We’re (joint) top of the league!

£15m seems mega cheap for Kessie

Assuming he retires at the end of this season, next year will be the first season since 1930/31 where Roy Hodgson doesn’t manage a first team game.

I went and asked about this for you and she said she was unaware a women’s World Cup was on and isn’t really interested in it. Such a misogynist. Bolsonaro would be proud.

Given that the main reason for the Premier League’s existence - aside from legitimising Gulf monarchies - is to provide advertising space for offshore betting firms I think they’d only be too happy for the extra opportunity to do so.

I’ve been to basketball and ice hockey games in the US and Canada where stopping the clock after a foul or when the ball goes out of play creates a lack of impetus to get the game started in a timely fashion and leads to tedious bullshit like kiss-cam and karaoke competitions and - inevitably - endless advertising. Last one I went to was in Toronto and it was much more like a SUV expo with an ice hockey game attached. Seeing this sort of thing is up there with the dullest experiences of my life and I wouldn’t be surprised to see the same ushered into football alongside a 30 minute clock with the way the Premier League is going (or has already gone).

Imagine how many more goals Man City will be able to score against your favourite team now.

Starting to think Perez won’t be world champion

Did you know that Man City meant to sign Hojlund all along but got Haaland because of a typo?

Absolutely shocking click-baiting here!

I’m not going to take a position on who or who isn’t strong here because I don’t really consider strength to be a virtue. But a radio station doing a focus on “strong wonen” or “strong” anything is really weird when you think about it and I think it says a lot of our modern cult of hyper self-individualism and self-help. Where external social and economics factors aren’t relevant and your ability to succeed or overcome adversity is based on how “strong” you are. As noted influencer and content creator Jesus Christ once posted, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth”. I don’t follow him on any socials and I wouldn’t say I’m part of his fandom but I’ll take that over post-modernist narcissism any day. (not least because good music is so often about showing a more vulnerable side of urself and giving the listener something to identify with. “You think that I’m strong, you’re wrong, you’re wrong” - R. Williams, 1999”.)

They weren’t French enough.