Gazz

Fuck it, I'm going for 1440, a full 24 hours. Roll on 7.30pm.

Oh, and no joke on nothing, I've been playing FM for 978 minutes nonstop, I'm starting to see feelings...

Missed four clear cut chances, hit the woodwork three times, could have been a cricket score. and I call this one 'Elvis: The 68 comeback special'. It's not all bad for Spurs fans though...

Mark Lawrenson, Spanish football expert.

It's a bit tight at the top going into the new year. I'd also like to point out Leicester, who have become the masters at grinding out 1-0 wins or 0-0 draws. They've beaten both Chelsea and Man Utd 1-0. 26 total goals in 19 games and 6 of them were against me when I beat them 4-2.

I could flop my dick across a chalkboard and win a league title at Celtic, the Eredivisie is much more competitive. When de Boer took over, Ajax hadn't won a league title for 6 years.

Bit of a step down from Frank de Boer...

I wouldn't put to much faith in a betting company owned by a broadcaster 'The next Newcastle manager will be definitely, 100% be Hollywood sooooperstar Will Smith! PS. You can get odds of 5/1 on Sky Bet!' *lumps on mortgage* Newcastle appoint Dennis Wise.

Ladies and gentlemen, what happens during a 'winter break'. Looks hellish.

Sports and Exercise Psychology student Gazz is appalled.

Eh?

I'm absolutely certain that is how we ended up with Romain Amalfitano and not Morgan.

Yoann Gouffran is a snip at £8.25m

It is. Chelsea have been mugged, he's only worth £400k on FM.

According to the latest accounts up to June 2013 Spurs Turnover: 6th in league, £147m (up from £144m in 2012) Match receipts: £33m TV and media: £57m All commercial activities: £57m Newcastle Turnover: 7th in league, £96m (up from £93m in 2012) Gate and matchday: £28m TV and broadcasting: £51m Commercial activities: £17m I assume our commercial activities are so low in comparison because A) London B) No decent company wants to be associated with Mike Ashley and kill their business in the North East.

Buono Astente

As for what I expect as a Newcastle fan, a bit of ambition, we can get 50,000 through the gates to the opening of an envelope, all wearing replica shirts and drinking out of pint glasses with Alan Shearer's face engraved on them. We can't compete with the 'big six' financially but that's fine, financial muscle doesn't always equal success, I'd be quite happy with our team consistently looking like they're actually putting in effort and challenging Everton/Southampton for 7th and maybe squeaking a Europa League place. We should be making an actual, concerted effort to win one of the cup competitions and not to consistently get knocked out of competitions by the likes of Brighton and Stevenage. I expect a team full of seasoned internationals to not 'win six, lose six'. Have questions been asked as to why the same eleven players can play like world beaters for a month and then play like League Two reserves for a month? I expect the team to play with some sort of tactical consistency. I expect set piece routines slightly more complex than 'Punt it to Mike Williamson on the back post'. I expect players to be played in their correct positions, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa is not a fullback, never will be and is now playing Champions League football at centre back for a better team, Dzeko still hasn't been seen since MYM put him in his back pocket months ago, it's believed he's floating in some sort of twilight zone. I expect the team to be motivated for local derby matches against an inferior team, not lose four on the bounce without scoring a goal and never look like doing so and not giving a shit about it. I expect at least one of the young players we sign or promote from the U18's to actually improve in a noticable way. I expect something to be looked at as to why our training methods are consistently injuring players. SIGN A FUCKING CENTRE BACK!

If he goes, hopefully he'll take his appalling backroom staff with him, that lot couldn't train a dog to sit, never mind Premier League footballers.

Seat Ibiza?

You know there is something horribly wrong when 10 games into the season, your two best players are Ferreyra and Iron Mike.

It'll be like Christmas.

6 yard zonal marking. Five of them.

Even when their team is just better? Obvious trolling is obvious. Cisse is a very naughty bastard. Should be banned for that.

Que?