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The Great Invasion of 2006


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The Great Invasion of 2006

It was a brisk November evening; Jason Cumber had only recently finished eating his mothers famous pork roast. He had, upon finishing dinner, decided to go on a walk down the street. He could see his breath as he breathed heavily, climbing up a hill. He dug into his pockets, rummaging for something…

Jason swung around, almost positive he had heard the footsteps of someone following him. There was nothing.

Jason came back from his pocket with a cigarette in hand. With his free hand, he went into his shirt pocket and found his lighter. With the flick of his finger, he lit the cigarette hanging from his lip. Jason felt the liberating feeling of smoke; it was a feeling he had been accustomed to after a delightful Sunday dinner. Jason had recently quit smoking, but he felt the need to break the habit every once a while…

Jason swore he heard someone coming from the left; he swung around and pulled out a handgun he kept handy. With his finger on the trigger he was ready to shoot in self-defense. Jason realized that no-one was there, he put the gun back down.


A voice stated and Jason raised the gun again. Jason did a complete circle holding the gun steady, ready to shoot.

“Jason, it is me Craig. Craig Nelson, your neighbor.”

Jason was relieved; he recognized the voice and felt instantly that he was safe. Jason saw Craig, who was indeed where Jason had thought he was; in a ditch on his hands and knees, searching for something. Jason spoke up, “Mr. Nelson, what are you doing in the ditch?”

Shrugging his shoulders he replied, “why do you have a gun?”

Jason looked down at the gun and he realized that it was quite suspect on his part to be holding a gun while on a leisurely walk. He placed the gun in his jacket pocket and walked closer to Craig, speaking up, “you know the strange shit that has been happenin’ around these parts. First off, Ted’s cows were all brutally slaughtered, all that was left behind was them puddles of blood. People been sayin’ that children gone missin’ around the region. My pa figured it’d be safe to carry around a gun. What the hell you doin in a ditch, Mr. Nelson?”

Craig chuckled at the remark and stood up looking at the young man, “looking for something I lost. A watch in fact. Perhaps it has something to do with the strange occurrences. Can you help me?”

Jason realized he had nothing to worry about as he approached Craig in the ditch. The two of them searched for a few seconds before Jason looked up at the longing eyes of Craig staring back at him.

“Mr. Nelson…”

Craig grabbed Jason by the arm and pulled him closer. Jason fought back, but he couldn’t manage to break free. Craig spoke up, “Jason, do you think anyone can hear you scream?"

Jason went to grab for his gun, but he heard a grunt come from behind him. Jason disregarded the grunt at first, but Jason felt a stiff kick to the back of his head. Jason fell face first into the ditch and everything seemed to fade to black.


“Are you ready to feast?”

Jason was awoken by the voice of Craig Nelson; Jason at first was blinded by the lights, but he realized that he was chained and inside a 3 inch cage. With little place to move, Jason shifted his head around and saw there was other similar cages. Beside him was the body of little Bobby Dooword from the down the street; apparently he had been missing since last Tuesday. Jason was about to survey the other cages, when he looked up and he saw …

“… come here… now.”

There was a table set up, with four chains coming from each corner. Lying on the table was a young boy about the age of eleven; Jason had recognized him as one of the kids on the local soccer team. He didn’t yelp, scream or say a word, he lied on the table as Craig Nelson ran his hand up and down his tender, young body.


Jason realized that Craig was yelling at someone he couldn’t see; this scared him more than ever. He could only see their boots in the distance; there wasn’t just one person. There was 2 or 3 dozen of them, standing in a room. Craig Nelson saw the black, leather boots, boots he had seen on numerous wrestling shows he indulged in.

“Bring the…”

The voice cut out as he turned his back. Jason winced as he tried to get a better view. He saw two feet approaching Craig Nelson; Jason tried to get a better look. He saw the short, black hair, the aging face, the black moustache… it was WWE super star Eddie Guerrero.

“What the hell is going on?!!?” Jason screamed, “didn’t…Eddie… die?”

Craig Nelson was shocked that he heard a voice… he looked down and saw Jason who was trying his best to free himself from the cage he was in. Craig smiled and than spoke up, “Eddie Guerrero did die. November 13th is correct. But with modern science, black magic, and electrical devices I managed to … revive him from the dead… as a Zombie…

“You must be thinking,” Craig continued, “why would I revive Eddie Guerrero? Well, Jason, Eddie Guerrero isn’t the only one I revived. I’ve been planning this for along time. It all a few years ago… Sunday, November 18th 2001. Do you remember that date as a Wrestling fan?”

Jason did not remember that date.

“Survivor Series; the day the WWE ruined the Invasion subsequently RUINING wrestling history. Vince McMahon shit upon the legacy of not only WCW and NWA but the entire wrestling business!” Craig shouted at the top of his lungs before going on, “And today, 4 years after the injustice that occurred, I am going to correct it. I have created an army of Zombie wrestlers to overtake the WWE. Owen Hart, British Bulldog, Chris Candido, Curt Hennig, Crash Holly… the list goes ON and ON and ON. Vince McMahon won’t now what hit him on RAW on Monday Night… now back to business, Eddie… are you hungry?”

Eddie nods his head in approval as he takes the knife and slowly takes it to the young boys body. Eddie manages to behead the eleven-year-old boy, raising the head slowly into the air as the blood drips down to the floor below. Jason winced and turned away as Eddie Guerrero stuck his tongue out and collected the blood of the eleven year old boy before he grabbed the rest of the body and threw it into the open room, full of endless zombie wrestlers.

Jason could barely make out Brian Pillman ripping the eleven-year-old boys lifeless limbs off as he dug his teeth into tender flesh. Jason covered his eyes as he slowly realized who he was dealing with – Zombie Wrestlers and damn did they mean business.

Edited by PunkRockPete
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*Stares at the diary blankly*

I'll have what he's having.

I love how there was a topic on how doing diaries with the inspiration of Guerrero's death would be too soon - but yet there's several creeping up only a week later. As a concept, I actually think it's really good - but including Eddie just a week after his death is several shades of wrong.

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Can I suggest Ritalin, Ginzing or therapy?

Seriously, you could've just done a 2001 Scenario where the Invasion continued. No reason to enlist undead warriors to correct the issue.

I'm not going to go flaming you for using Eddie Guererro, as he does fit with the scenario. However, I really can't see how something this morbid (and involving 11-year old Bookers, no less) is going to catch fire. Still, if it's "how you roll" so to speak, then roll away :)

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... Can you say .. What. The. Fuck?!

Fine, use Eddie as an inspiration but bringing the guy back from the dead? Are you completely lost of all sense? There is a reason why every sig on this boars says Rest In Peace, leave it that way, real or not. With all due respect, the timing of this diary is well disgusting. =/

EDIT: Right, having written that after only reading the quote about Eddie being a Zombie, I've just read the final few paragraps of that story. And well ... you are so SOOO incosiderate and unbelieveable low for writing such things about someone who has recentley passed away and holds a high place in many peoples hearts.

Edited by Pepsi Twist
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I'm going to actually break from the norm and say good luck. I remember your last diary and enjoyed it, so I'm definately going to keep my eye on this if it lasts, despite the 'morbid' nature. It's an interesting backstory at the very least, so go with it, man.

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News just in: People are morons.

If you think PRP wanted anything less than the reaction you just gave him, think again. I'm 99.9% certain the whole point of this diary was to be tasteless, and it looks to have worked a treat.

I, for one, am reading this.

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Guest Chaos Theory

God...If this is how you all react to something like this then I may be in trouble in the near future.

I love the idea for this. It actually has all kinds of posibilities. Like Andre the Giant vs. The Big Show.

Owen Hart against Christian.

I could go on and on.

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I was going to reply to every single post in this thread; but than I figured what the hell is the point. You are all essentially bitching about the exact same thing.

Lets just summarize. Oh my god, I am using Eddie Guerrero in a diary as a zombie; who the fuck cares. I personally think it is more tasteful than running a tribute show involving a bunch of "wet-dream" matches that don't have anything to do with Eddie Guerrero; but hey, that's my two cents.

Skumfrog is right, I intentionally included Eddie Guerrero to initially shock people; but really, the fact that you are all bitching about the inclusion of Eddie Guerrero but NOT of Brian Pillman proves me to that you are all just getting riled up for the sake of getting riled up.

People indulge in all sorts of fantasy worlds; INCLUDING horror movies. This is more distasteful than Land of the Dead; both involve people being zombies. It just so happens that since I gave these people recongizable names everyone gets offended for the sake of upping their post-count and bitching about nothing.

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There overall, wasn't a real reason to defend yourself there. Action speak more than words. I for one, think it's a great idea. I mean, people, its just a diary. it isnt real life. its no offensive to anyone, because its made up, and doesnt degrade anyone loved by others. Sure, there may be a sore spot because of Eddie's death, but think of the possibilities...

Owen Hart vs. Kurt Angle

Curt Henning vs. Chris Beniot

Eddie Guerrero vs. Batista

Brian Pillman vs. Steve Austin

C'mon now, give it a chance. I for one, will.

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Erm...well, I will say it's a different idea than normal. The real problem is that people are obviously going to realize that something seriously messed up is going on when Chris Candido comes to the ring and merely growls. Actually, probably just Chris Candido coming to the ring would be a slight matter of, "WHAAAA? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

I know it's wrong, but I was chuckling at the irony.

The WWE is going to be killed by a bunch of people that are dead.

Other than that, well...classless is classless, no doubt about it.

Personally, though, I kinda' prefer the Frankenstein/Buffyverse version of zombies. They're pretty much reanimated corpses that are not decayed in any way, shape, or form, heal quickly, and are fully cognizant. They need little sustenance, can pass easily as living people(well, with the exception of Frankenstein's creation, Adam), and if given enough motivation, they will follow orders.

Still, good luck with this. The match suggestions are interesting, but brainless bags of guts can't put on insanely good matches, can they? Just a thought.

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Personally, though, I kinda' prefer the Frankenstein/Buffyverse version of zombies. They're pretty much reanimated corpses that are not decayed in any way, shape, or form, heal quickly, and are fully cognizant. They need little sustenance, can pass easily as living people(well, with the exception of Frankenstein's creation, Adam), and if given enough motivation, they will follow orders.

Pfffft, no. The whole point of zombies is that they're braindead. A single zombie should never be a threat, the horror comes from there being hordes of the buggers.

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Diaries that are distasteful and make other people pissed are my favorite to read. This is getting shit on by people who don't realize how genius the idea was. You bitching is just putting his diary on top of the boards, for more people to bitch and complain about.

PRP is a good writer (his other diaries are evidence), a very strange and fucked up writer (which is always a good thing, keeps things from being too boring here) but a good one nonetheless. Good luck man, I don't think you'll need it but I'll say it anyways. This is tasteless and horrible, don't change it for anyone.

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Geez, there's some uptight people around here. Personally I didn't have a single problem with this - just like I didn't have a problem with Summers' diary a month or two ago. It's just a backstory, no different that any other except that it happens to be well written, humorous, and contains zombie versions of past greats. Would it have offended people left if you'd had all of them wrestling in heaven?

I'm keen to see how this pans out - people have already been listing their dream matches, but I for one just want to see if you can outdo the WWE's apalling invasion in terms of interest. Not sure how many angles you can have invovling zombies, apart from the whole 'eating flesh' thing.

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