What Did You Watch Today?

[TGC]

What Happens In Vegas - 7/10

Dear god help me, but I actually really kinda enjoyed this movie. I took my daughter to see it for our yearly father/daughter movie and lunch Birthday deal, and she chose to see this. It could have been worse, as I was expecting to have to sit through Prince Caspian, but compared to last year when she chose Disturbia, I wasn't looking forward to this movie at all. However after about 15 to 20 minutes I realized that I was laughing, despite myself, and genuinely enjoying myself. Ashton Kutcher is good for the type of actor he is, and Cameron Diaz is still a hottie who can sorta act, but the real stars here were Rob Corrdrey and Lake Bell as the best friends who hate each other. The two had fantastic chemistry together. This movie is full of one cliche after another (see the previously mentioned best friends who hate each other), but it also had a little bit of heart and soul. It's not great, it's cliched, it's silly, it's completely implausible, it has guest appearances by Dennis Millier and Queen Latifah that are horrible, and Dennis Farina's character is completely ridiculous, but despite all of that I really kind of sort of enjoyed it. Turn off your brain and sit back and laugh for 90 minutes.

[GA!]

The Covenant

The Covenant is edgy and cool. Watch as edgy and cool homoerotic men use their magic powers to see if a girl is wearing panties or not. Watch as the edgy and cool dumb women stand in the background doing nothing (like all but two male characters thinking about it). Watch as the men show their edgy and cool machismo with swimming competitions, escaping from the police and showering together naked. Listen to the edgy and cool soundtrack of downbeat college rock while there are no swerves presented in the narrative whatsoever. Feel intelligent as the duh-de-duh dialogue makes sure you do not miss a single piece of edgy and cool information. Be impressed by the introduction of edgy and cool developments fifteen minutes before the film ends. Watch as an auteur goes to work – cutting shots twenty times a minute, just like edgy and cool directors like Michael Bay. Yes, The Covenant is edgy and cool – but it’s also fucking horrible. I had to include the last sentence in case you didn’t get the correct information on the sarcasm and you’re a big fan of the film and--- Ah never mind. *

I love you.

I just saw that movie recently, and I'd give it more of a 3/10. Bad soundtrack (whoever did that remix of "More Human Than Human" over the opening should be shot. Everyone is pretty shit at acting, especially that one with the short black hair who has a weird deep voice. (They can't be identified by actual names.) And Renny Harlin cannot direct subtlety for anything. Just a horrible movie.

The funny thing about the film is that I already knew 'oh fuck, this is going to be bollocks' after five minutes. After five minutes I was exposed to an editing slaughterhouse called the opening title sequence, and then came the execution of the first lines. Simply horrid. There were no good characters, and the bitchy one of the coven looked like fucking Draco Malfroy! As far as Renny Harlin goes, I'm shocked that he is a veteran of directing films. Every shot MUST give a new piece of information, Harlin had two different shots for a lot of things that didn't need two different shots - its came across as extremely amateur. At the end of the day this was literally Supernatural on steroids, a film for dateless women with dildos and a film that should've never been made.

It's not as bad as Romance and Cigarettes though... Or League of Xtraordinary Gentlemen... Or POTC At World's End...

[Sousa]

Sci-Fi's been showing all three Indiana Jones flicks in succession this weekend, so I set aside about 78 years last night and watched them all in succession.

I'd actually never seen Raiders of the Lost Ark all the way through, but it holds up very well and is a lot of fun. I mean, it's hard to think of anything to criticize--the movie is simply iconic, emblematic of the wise-cracking adventure films of the 70's and 80's. *****

But the same can't be said of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I could never, ever, ever understand why anyone liked this movie. Can't to this day. Sure, it's still Harrison Ford having a good time, but between its ooga-booga Indian tribesmen and the perpetually shrieking and fainting Kate Capshaw, I find it almost impossible to enjoy. Unlike Raiders, which revels in its attempt to have a good time while providing a few gross-out moments, Temple just revels in shock-value bullshit ("Ah, dessert! CHILLED MONKEY BRAINS!") that forces Capshaw into still more gross-out fish-out-of-water shrieking and fainting. This happens, like, all the time. I don't like it at all. **

But the one that's always been the best for me is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Frankly, this movie is just a blast from start to finish--I was never once bored or annoyed. Adding Sean Connery to the mix affords plenty of opportunities for the veteran actor to ham it up, and the chemistry between Connery and Harrison Ford keeps the levity high on the globe-spanning adventure for the Holy Grail. The best of the three by far--if you only get to see one, make it this one. *****

[GA!]

Sousa, you bastard! You beat me to it!

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

The problem with Raiders is that if you don’t watch this film the moment you come out of your mother’s womb, you’ll witness references to it in many forms of media (especially Family Guy) and as such this becomes a ‘Greatest Hits’ film. Not that it will ruin the fun: the original is always the best as they say. This is a stunning, carefree action-adventure film with special effects that are far superior to what’s being churned out 27 years later. That’s all that needs to be said. ****1/2

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Temple of Doom is basically ‘same again’ in terms of stunning, carefree action-adventure with great special effects and stunts. It is inferior to Raiders of the Lost Ark though due to a couple of minor factors. Indiana’s sidekicks for the trip are just annoying. Willie is supposed to be this cliché 1940’s action film female that’s nothing more than a shrieking damsel with great boobs. The boobs are great but the constant screaming and the constant yelling of ‘INDY’ gets really annoying. Not only that, but she screams at everything minus the only real scary moment when the man suddenly pops onto the screen to kidnap her and Short Round. Short is a kid you think is cool at first, but then gets fucking annoying. Exactly like Hiro in Heroes. The second problem is that there are moments that are totally silly and beyond the realms of silly family fun humour. The chaos in the opening scene for example was a bit much. It kind of reminds me of the later Star Wars films, but without the desire to vomit knives. Temple of Doom is the weakest of the three original films, but it is still a very entertaining film. KALI MA! ****

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Well it was the last crusade at one point anyway… For this film rather than going for another entertaining yet disposable scenario like in Temple of Doom, it builds up the Indy character more. Sean Connery as Indy’s dad is simply sublime; the chemistry between Connery and Harrison Ford makes this film the funniest of the bunch as well as the most serious. There seems to be a more adult approach to this film too: instead of saving children from slavery with help of an edgy and cool child (Covenant review reference, sigh), Indy and his Dad try to find the Holy Grail in the midst of Nazi book burnings. Will children understand those sorts of things? No, but fuck them. The result is a film that is more slowly paced, separating some more stunning action sequences to build a strong story. While this has the same rating as Raiders, it is not better. The reason is simple: the first (only just) edged out with its action sequences. ****1/2

Oh, and...

Speed Racer

Perhaps with refinements here and there, Speed Racer could have been good. Visually, it is an assault of colours that’s genuinely impressive if you don’t get eye ache as a result. Storyline wise, it’s a simple tale of a little man versus an evil, over-resourceful corporation (this film coincidentally was disturbed by Warner Bros). Along with Christina Ricci going from ‘eurgh’ to ‘fucking phwoar’ courtesy of a fringe – this film should have been enjoyable. Its problem however is in its over-indulgence. The direction, which I guess is a nod to the original series, is a clusterfuck of fast moving images that is half of the time confusing and half of the time stupid. The casting is uninspired: John Goodman is cast as always due to his obesity, Susan Sarandon is wasted in her role and Matthew Fox acts like Jack from Lost. The character of Spritle has unwarranted sequences, and fuels legitimate arguments for sending fat American children to the gas chamber. The worst, most inexcusable part of the film though is the rally portion. It lasts about 35 minutes (I guess) and is the largest section of the film. When the Japanese bloke turns out he’s lying about his intentions, thus rending the entire portion of the film useless, they feed in at least four lines of dialogue stating how useless that portion was as if they’re apologising to the audience. I don’t forgive them… Speed Racer is an okay kids film, and a poor film in general. Hopefully the film’s abysmal result at the box office will mean The Wachowski Brothers don’t get a stupidly high budget to make a film ever again. **

[TGC]

Accepted - 7/10

Apparently this is my week to enjoy movies that I know I should absolutely despise. Despite myself, much like during my viewing of What Happens In Vegas, I found myself laughing and enjoying this farce. The concept is simple, five kids don't get into college so Barnaby, the leader of the pack, decides to create a fictional college to convince his parents he's not a complete loser. It works only too well, and soon enough the group has a few hundred students. And yes, it is as silly as it sounds. Justin Long is Bartleby and Jonah Hill, and really huge, is his kinda sorta sidekick, and while they don't have the sort of chemistry that Hill does with anyone in almost every other movie he's been in since, they do manage to create something that is fun to watch. And that's the thing, the movie is fun to watch. The dynamics of the relationships are fun to watch, as is Justin long doing his best to try to act like Ryan Reynolds in virtually any of his comedies. The movie is insipid, stupid, and really one of the dumbest comedies I've seen in some time, so of course at the end, which is both predictable and contrived, it tries to force feed a message of sorts down our throats. And yet despite the flaws, of which I barely scratched the surface, it's pretty funny. It won't make you think, it won't make you care, and despite how hard that they attempt to force feed you the message, you probably won't care, but it does that one simple thing that a lot of comedies don't manage to do, it makes you laugh. I'm almost embarrassed to be saying this, but it' a movie worth watching. There are worse ways to kill 100 minutes. Date Movie I am looking at you.

[Testicle numba 2]

Timeline- 7/10

I read the book way back in junior high and barely saw the movie yesterday. It was pretty decently and followed the book pretty well (or from was I remember at least). They could've found a better actor than Paul Walker but it was still pretty good.

Cloverfield-7/10

I didn't see the movie when it first came out mainly because of the hype but got a chance to see it the other day. The whole shaky camera thing wasn't a big deal for me and offered a different view on things. I enjoyed the plot although at times it seemed a little ridiculous. The ending was kind of expected and not sure that many noticed but at the end when Beth and Rob are on the carousel at Connie Island, you can actually see the monster fall into the water if you look closely.

Edited May 22, 2008 by Testicle numba 2

[MalaCloudy Black]

Wasn't that a Tagruato satellite or something that fell in the water? I don't think it was the monster.

[Universal]

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I am not sure what to say about this. I was disappointed. Mostly with the characters. They never seem to be in any sort of danger. Mostly because a lot of it seemed to be shot on green screen and the actors barely reacted to stuff happening around them. A temple would be collapsing and all Indy could do was look around for 90 seconds before he decides they should leave. A whole valley would be imploding with rocks and stone and all the characters did was stand 10 feet from the edge and watch along with the audience.

Ford is disappointing, but i think the problem is in the screenplay and directing. He barely ever screws up like the old Indy. What i loved about the old trilogy is Indy would make a dumb decision for whatever reason (greed, laziness, or just plain stupidity) and would have to get himself out of it. I didn't get the sense of that here. It just seems the characters go down a linear path of enemies, CGI and green screen landscapes for 2 hours.

There are some good moment here. Shia is good and is the only character i am almost completely satisfied with. The bad guy (girl) is weak and isn't able to flesh out her character at all. There is a few moments which i wish they would give up on the action for a couple more minutes to flesh out the characters rather than building the confusing and odd story.

6 out of 10, it has its moments and it might feel better on repeat viewings after my initial disappointment. There was alot of creativity put into this, but the heart and charm is mostly lost. I hope if they do another one, that they learn from thier mistakes.

Edited May 22, 2008 by Universal

[Testicle numba 2]

Wasn't that a Tagruato satellite or something that fell in the water? I don't think it was the monster.

Eh that could be true. My friends and I just thought it was the monster as that would make more sense (at least to us).

[MalaCloudy Black]

Wasn't that a Tagruato satellite or something that fell in the water? I don't think it was the monster.

Eh that could be true. My friends and I just thought it was the monster as that would make more sense (at least to us).

I'm relatively certain it was a satellite. If you followed the viral marketing campaign for Cloverfield, it seems as though the monster came from the sea and was woken up by Tagruato's drilling operations going on out in the sea.

[brenchill]

Indy 4 - 7.5/10

I was worried that this installment wouldn't fit in with the others but it did. It still had the feel of the originals. I'm glad Henry Jones Snr. got a mention, too. Just a shame George Lucus couldn't keep his fucking CGI pets away from it.

[Farmer Reil]

What Happens In Vegas - 7/10

Dear god help me, but I actually really kinda enjoyed this movie. I took my daughter to see it for our yearly father/daughter movie and lunch Birthday deal, and she chose to see this. It could have been worse, as I was expecting to have to sit through Prince Caspian, but compared to last year when she chose Disturbia, I wasn't looking forward to this movie at all. However after about 15 to 20 minutes I realized that I was laughing, despite myself, and genuinely enjoying myself. Ashton Kutcher is good for the type of actor he is, and Cameron Diaz is still a hottie who can sorta act, but the real stars here were Rob Corrdrey and Lake Bell as the best friends who hate each other. The two had fantastic chemistry together. This movie is full of one cliche after another (see the previously mentioned best friends who hate each other), but it also had a little bit of heart and soul. It's not great, it's cliched, it's silly, it's completely implausible, it has guest appearances by Dennis Millier and Queen Latifah that are horrible, and Dennis Farina's character is completely ridiculous, but despite all of that I really kind of sort of enjoyed it. Turn off your brain and sit back and laugh for 90 minutes.

I was dragged to see that movie too. There were a few genuine laughs, but the best bit of the whole movie was

Spoiler: Click here to view

the low-blow after the credits, and especially Corrdrey's reaction to it

.

I'd give it 5/10. I didn't want to leave half way through, but it didn't interest me much. I finished my popcorn, that's generally an indication that the film isn't great.

Edited May 24, 2008 by Farmer Reil

[New Damage]

After my friend gave me a copy of it back in January, I finally got around to watching I Am Legend today, what with Eurovision being on and all. I must say it is a pretty damn good film, though its a shame that they did'nt really explain some things like how did everyone get infected etc. But it was still pretty good. 8/10

[Hajjhowe]

Cloverfield - 9/10

I think it was a creative idea (First person was just brilliant) and the teasing with the monster was the right way to go with the whole situation. Tension was built up well and I actually laughed at some parts. Character's could have been slightly better developed, but all in all I can't complain. I'd recommend it to anyone regardless of taste in movies.

[Farmer Reil]

Shoot 'em Up - 8.5/10

The only reason this didn't get a 9, is because that'd make it as good as Planet Terror, which it wasn't. What it was, was an excellent piss-take at the action genre, whilst still managing to be a great action film itself (unlike Last Action Hero, which was shit). It also proved to me that Clive Owen can actually act, which is worth an 8.5 for that alone.

[tristy]

Recount

For an HBO movie, it's really fucking good. The cast is just really fucking great. The story kind of makes the republicans out to be devils, and the democrats angels, and I can't say for sure if it was that way or not, but it made me very irritated about how things have turned out in this country, and made me think, which i think was the ultimate goal of this movie. To think that Gore was down just by hundreds of votes, and could have possibly won the election, is just mind boggling.

All in all, it's a good film, worth a second and third viewing, in my opinion. Kevin Spacey is fucking awesome in this, as is Denis Leary. The voices for Bush and Gore, while abit comically exaggerated, are definately spot-on, and the look a-likes (the brief glimpses you get) look dead on.

Good movie.

[CQI13]

Recount

For an HBO movie, it's really fucking good. The cast is just really fucking great. The story kind of makes the republicans out to be devils, and the democrats angels, and I can't say for sure if it was that way or not, but it made me very irritated about how things have turned out in this country, and made me think, which i think was the ultimate goal of this movie. To think that Gore was down just by hundreds of votes, and could have possibly won the election, is just mind boggling.

All in all, it's a good film, worth a second and third viewing, in my opinion. Kevin Spacey is fucking awesome in this, as is Denis Leary. The voices for Bush and Gore, while abit comically exaggerated, are definately spot-on, and the look a-likes (the brief glimpses you get) look dead on.

Good movie.

What's never touched on is that Democrats would have probably done the same thing if they had been leading by a few hundred votes and controlled Florida.

I did recently see again Mr. 3000 with Bernie Mac. I thought it was funny, especially the training scenes when he first gets back. And it's a pretty good commentary on the modern athlete putting themselves ahead of the team. All in all, very enjoyable.

[MalaCloudy Black]

Shoot 'em Up - 8.5/10

The only reason this didn't get a 9, is because that'd make it as good as Planet Terror, which it wasn't. What it was, was an excellent piss-take at the action genre, whilst still managing to be a great action film itself (unlike Last Action Hero, which was shit). It also proved to me that Clive Owen can actually act, which is worth an 8.5 for that alone.

I take it you haven't seen Children of Men then? >_> Clive Owen was great in that film.

[GoGo Yubari]

Singles - 6.5/10 (5/10 if you're not a Seattle resident

Basically, this movie is really fun if you know what Seattle was like during the early '90s, and if not then it's a movie completely carried by strong performances from Bridget Fonda and to a slightly lesser extent Matt Dillon (who, if you looked at the poster, you'd believe to be the film's leads; in actuality, and somewhat unfortunately, it's the decidedly less interesting characters played by Campbell Scott and Kyra Sedgwick) and tons of references to the music scene (cameos from the members of Pearl Jam, Tad Doyle, etc., the song title "Touch Me I'm Dick," actual performances by the likes of Alice in Chains, and so on) and just... really, exactly what my perspective of Seattle as a child of the '90s was, right down to the bitching about our awful traffic. But if you can't connect with that, it's really just another average romantic comedy with some bright spots here and there.

Edited May 27, 2008 by GoGo Yubari

[Dan McG]

I watched Gridiron Gang recently and I thought it was great