EU3

[stokeriño]

That does indeed look awesome. Plus it says a May or June release - I thought it was scheduled for Q3. ^_^

I've got EU3: Rome, but I've only had about an hour of free time to play on it thus far. The whole families/dynasties/popularity/elections/anything to do with people, really - that's badass. Although at the moment it seems that unless I'm at war without someone, there's not much to do...

Edited April 22, 2008 by stokeriño

[METALMAN]

Yeah the dynasty thing is really cool. Bit hard to work with when you've got loads of people and you've got governors dropping dead every five minutes though. I love the interactions and loyalty betweem them.

[stokeriño]

My best general (M.V. Maximus) won a load of battles and got 100% popularity and 100% loyalty, and got elected to Consul...then got the plague while campaigning in Helvetia. He's still alive, but much weaker now.

These circumstances make it doubly unfortunate because of this other Legate (I forget his name), who also got 100% popularity somehow, BUT has 0% loyalty, and he has about 30,000 troops loyal to him (while Maximus only has 19,000).

I sense trouble ahead...

Edited April 22, 2008 by stokeriño

[stokeriño]

Just got an email telling me that In Nomine is available to buy/download from GamersGate.

Now the England-USA friendly has some competition this evening. ^_^

[stokeriño]

I may be continuing to talk to myself here, but eh. Fuck it. ¬_¬

Had a go at In Nomine last night, starting a game as England right back in 1399 when Henry IV was on the throne, bless him in his uselessness.

The first mission I had handed to me? "Those Irish are too uncivilised to govern themselves, they need someone else to do it for them." So: conquer Ireland. Sounds an appropriately English thing to do... With the province of Meath (aka 'the Pale') already under my control, I would have to go 'beyond the Pale', to use the idiom in its original context. Irritatingly, just as I was rounding up troops to unload across the Irish Sea, the Scots and their French buddies declared war on me. Bastards.

Setting the Irish Question (ohoho) aside for the moment, I threw the majority of my military might (sadly, a mere 12,000 men) north of the border to crush the uppity Scots in as short an order as possible. Despite their king, Robert III, deciding to go marauding around Yorkshire while I was busy beseiging his capital, I eventually captured both Edinburgh and Glasgow (with my traditional allies, the Portuguese, trouncing the Highlands) and annexed Ayrshire in the resulting peace treaty. Plus a bunch of cash to boot. Huzzah.

Unfortunately, France was busy kicking my arse, as the French are prone to do on the continent. My 6,000-man strong expeditionary force may have got off to a good start, beseiging the likes of Caux and even Paris for a short while, but then a random French army of 20,000 men or more would crop up and I, invariably, would get shafted. And so, at the end of the day, I had to cede Gascogne to them - but honestly, trying to keep territory on the continent really is an immense bother anyway, even if they do have some pretty rich provinces. I wasn't too saddened to see it go.

At last - to Ireland! The various Irish states had concocted a variety of alliances between Brittany and/or Scotland. Sadly none of them had allied with each other, which would have been a convenient way to defeat two of them at once... In which case, I elected to declare war on Tyrone - since they only had one ally (Brittany). A straight-forward little war later and I annexed them, with Brittany accepting a white peace. One down, just three to go...

But I couldn't get on with it just yet - all the war taxes and such had let the peasants feeling decidedly indignant, and they choose to vent these feelings by rising up across the country. First in Northumberland, then in East Anglia...then Northumberland again (fucking Northerners) - and then, just because they felt it an opportune time to get in on the act, some Welsh nationalists rose up as well. They actually had a decent military leader, unlike the peasants, so were tougher to take down - but eventually subdued.

So then I was hoping to wait a year or two, let the war exhaustion die down a bit, before moving on to another slice of Ireland.

Only, the French declared war on me again. This time, bringing not only Scotland but also their new friends Castille to the party.

Cunts.

And thus endeth chapter 1 of Stokerino's EU3: In Nomine odyssey, cataloguing the years 1399-1408 in English history.

Edited May 29, 2008 by stokeriño

[METALMAN]

I am so incredibly jealous of you. Bitch.

I hope you realise that me calling you a bitch was justified there.

[stokeriño]

It costs a mere 19.99 euros to download via Paypal, you know...

[Gazz]

Nice to see the same thing happens in this version of EU3 as always happened to me.

Scotland declare war, own Scotland, get destroyed by French. Give up.

Though I once got to Jamaica and began colonising. THEN got destroyed by the French.

[METALMAN]

Some of us have to buy tickets and costumes and flowers for stupid school proms you know. Driving lessons are quite a drain too.

It is fantastic I presume?

Oh I just noticed you annexed my home province. How would you like it if I did that to you?

Edited May 29, 2008 by metalman

[stokeriño]

I'm hoping once I inevitably lose Calais and that other province next to Gascogne, they'll go away and leave me alone.

Some of us have to buy tickets and costumes and flowers for stupid school proms you know. Driving lessons are quite a drain too.

It is fantastic I presume?

Oh I just noticed you annexed my home province. How would you like it if I did that to you?

Fantastic, yes. There are many little tweaks and additions that I didn't know about - like, for instance, a whole load of new Advisor types!

As for annexing my home province - since I live in London, you'd have to conquer all of England to do it. I would be suitably impressed at that stage to let it pass.

Edited May 29, 2008 by stokeriño

[stokeriño]

Oh cockbite.

I conquered all of Ireland, thus completing the given mission. And what new one does it give me?

"In 1204 the English monarchy's historical homeland, the Duchy of Normandy, was lost when Philip II captured it from King John. Reclaim it!"

...

Did you not see me get whupped by France the last two times?! :@

Still, at least I'm only one step away from wiping Scotland of the map:

[METALMAN]

GIVE ME BACK AYRSHIRE!!!

and while you're at it, what's the colonising like on this? Have you got any yet?

[stokeriño]

The only difference I've noticed with colonising is that it lists the colony's growth rate in 'colonists per year' (e.g. +50 per year) rather than a percentage (e.g. 10%), which I was never quite sure what it meant, so that's handy. Also there's a new Idea that can boost your colonies' growth rate by 50%, and one of the new Advisor types boosts your maximum colony range by 5%, 10%, etc.

[METALMAN]

I bought it today! I can't wait to get started with it and kick you back out of Scotland. :@

Unfortunately not tonight though as I've got a friend's birthday party to go to. How inconsiderate of them.

[stokeriño]

Kick me out of Scotland...? Fat chance. Especially since I've now annexed Scotland outright in my game.

Ugh. I was so eager for Henry IV to die because his stats were so shit. Then he did die...without leaving an heir, so we had THE WAR OF ENGLISH SUCCESSION between Portugal and Castille to decide who, with their respective royal marriages to me, would claim my throne.

I got to choose which claimant I sided with (which is nice, given that it decided for you in the past) - and I chose Castille for two reasons. Firstly, they were so much more powerful than Portugal that they'd twat them anyway. And secondly (most importantly), I was in the middle of yet another war with France at that time and I really didn't want my Incredibly Useful Ally Castille turning on me as well.

So now my nation is being ruled by a Spanish king. This is all well and good, in one sense, since his stats are awesome (certainly, his massive Diplomacy rating is helping a treat at eating away at the Bad Boy points I accumulated conquering Ireland/Scotland). However, I'm obviously restrained from all the best bits of the game now, like conquering places. Even if I besiege and take a province, it turns yellow for Spanish ownership because I'm merely serving my Lord and Master.

Where the fuck is Henry V when you need him? :@

Edited May 31, 2008 by stokeriño

[METALMAN]

I played In Nomine for the first time today, and so far I'm very impressed. I went France because I'm a coward and fancied an easy first game.

I was given a mission to recover Aquitaine from England - that being Saintonge and Gascogne. So I declared war against them almost immediately. Threw my three armies into the three English provinces and waited. After a while I had Calais, Gascogne and Saintonge occupied but England weren't going to give me anything because they still had plenty of troops left.

They had also previously destroyed my navy so an invasion was totally out of the question, so I figured I'd just wait it out. In the meantime I bullied their ally Brabant. Then, while all my armies were away in the Netherlands, the dirty English invade Normandy! I had to march all my troops there and there was a massive battle (about 30,000 v 20,000) which I duly won. After the battle, with their forces crushed, England agreed to give me Saintonge and Gascogne, as well as withdrawing their claim for Armagnac. A job well done. Unfortunately I neglected my home country and ally Scotland somewhat. They lost Highlands and Aberdeen.

I think this is a great improvement on the last version. It's more realistic that wars can be won by significant battles rather than just a series of sieges. I managed to get a good peace deal without even leaving the continent.

So I was feeling pretty good about the future after all this, but literally less than a week after I won the war, my King decides to die, plunging me into a succession war between Burgundy and Lorraine. I chose Burgundy, seeing as they are quite a bit bigger. This war was hardly epic. It was over in days. Mainly because it was Burgundy, France, Aragon, Brittany & Savoy against Lorraine. Even their mighty ally Cyprus couldn't save them.

That was in 1404. It is now 1440 and the stupid Burgundian King hasn't died yet. What makes it especially annoying is my mission at present is to gain Cambray. Which is owned by...Burgundy. :@

[stokeriño]

I'm not sure how to escape from a Personal Union. In the past you'd revert back to your own monarch once the King in question died (which was admittedly annoying if you were the greater partner in the union, since it meant they weren't particularly worthwhile). However, all that seems to have changed now. I've had the Spanish king Enrique IV...then Enrique V...then Isabel I... It's been more than 50 years and I STILL. CAN'T. DECLARE. FUCKING. WAR. :@

Edit: Oh thank fuck. Found this on the Paradox forums:

you can get out of the PU by lowering relationships between the countries below 0, and then, when the monarch dies you will be out.

I am going to spend MONTHS insulting that Spanish wench when I get home tonight.

Edited June 2, 2008 by stokeriño

[METALMAN]

Finally after 40 years of Personal Union stupid King Louis-Henry of Burgundy and France died. The PU was broken thanks to my insult spamming. Obviously, my first act as a free country once more was to declare war on Burgundy.

So that is where I am now. The war isn't going too well unfortunately. I'm pretty much surrounded thanks to them being allied with Brittany and Aragon.

[stokeriño]

Well hooray, that Queen Bitch Isabel I finally died and I got my own monarch back...George I. I find that EU3 invariably picks 'George' out of its English monarch names database far more than any other - which is annoying, since it isn't really an English monarch name. It's what a German guy thought was an English monarch name. Since it appears that Hannover has been squashed by Brabant (random) in my game, I'd thank them not to name my kings for me. Pricks. ¬_¬

After having had the mission to discover India (that took a while, I can tell you), I now have the mission to 'assisting in the founding of a trading company in the East Indies' (hmm, wonder what that could be), who would like 'a territorial base' on the Indian coast from which to expand their operations.

FUCK YES. This is proper Imperial Bastard Mode now. Especially since, during the very long wait to get my own monarch back, I gained cores on my conquered Scottish provinces and was thus able to morph from England to Great Britain. Time to send in the Redcoats to kick some militarily-inferior native ass. To steal a rallying cry from Code Geass: "ALL HAIL BRITANNIA".

...It's worrying how fun it is to play at being so evil.

[METALMAN]

I'm jealous of you. At least things are going well for you.

All the missions I'm getting involve diploannexing some vassal or another, so I have ten year waits between missions which is a tad annoying.

I also think I might have ruined my game by doing the most stupid thing ever last night. England declared war on Leinster. As I had warned England previously, I was asked to join the war. Which I did. So it was me and Leinster against England, Portugal and a handful of other small places.

England did the exact same thing they did in our previous war. They took out my entire navy just as it was crossing the channel with an invasion force. So I had to concentrate on Europe but I couldn't even get to Calais because Burgundy(who I took Cambray and Nevers from in the previous war) weren't allowing me military access. It was purely defensive then.

I had England attacking me from the North while Portugal were attacking from the South, both with rather large armies. Meanwhile, a man styling himself King René had risen up in revolt and was terrorising the middle of the country.

England managed to occupy a ton of provinces fairly fast. The most difficult thing was handling both them and Portugal at the same time, so I paid off Portugal, leaving more men to fight in the north. I was getting regular peace offers from England, usually requesting Caux and Normandie. However, I figured that due to my superior manpower, I'd beat the English in a war of attrition. After about ten years that proved to be the case. I managed to get war score at 0% and all England got for their troubles was a white peace.

Unfortunately, at the time of writing the pretender René has crushed my armies and is in the process of taking over the country. Revolts are springing up everywhere as I stupidly let war exhaustion in the England war get to 20.

Things were going so well before that. I can't believe I might lose everything because of stupid little Munster.