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Worst Movie Ever


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Just name what the worst movie you've ever seen is. My worst is Showgirls. Now normally I would like nudity in movies but when you're not that fine and you're nude the whole movie, it just gets repulsive. Plus, the story doesn't know what it wants to be. It wants to be dark (Nomi's past), it wants to appeal to the men (all of the nudity, yet it wants to be a chick flick (the almost lesbitronic friendship between Nomi and....uhh that black girl). It merges all of those three with one weak story and it ,well, is pathetic.

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I don't know what movie I hate the most but I can name a couple really crappy ones. For instance Jason X and Halloween Resserection were complete shit. Neither were scary at all, plus all the shitty one liners, acting and scripts just made them shit.

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Guest Josef Stallion

The Brown Bunny. In case if you don't know what The Brown Bunny is, it was a movie directed by Vincent Gallo and its premise is basically a guy who races cars. Absolutely horrible movie.

It was either that or Gigli, but I think I would've had my ass e-kicked for saying I WATCHED it.

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Just name what the worst movie you've ever seen is. My worst is Showgirls. Now normally I would like nudity in movies but when you're not that fine and you're nude the whole movie, it just gets repulsive. Plus, the story doesn't know what it wants to be. It wants to be dark (Nomi's past), it wants to appeal to the men (all of the nudity, yet it wants to be a chick flick (the almost lesbitronic friendship between Nomi and....uhh that black girl). It merges all of those three with one weak story and it ,well, is pathetic.

I'm inclined to agree with you on that one.

Nomi had extremely aggressive mood swings, and fundamentally, the story teaches one thing:

Sex leads to the top.

Now, look at it like this.

She screws the boss, she gets the top role after she pushes Crystal down to the bottom of the stairs.

She doesn't screw the black guy, but the black guy screws this stripper that worked at the same bar she did, and what do you know...the stripper gets the part in his routine, the same part he had in mind for Nomi.

Further more, the plot is awful.

Now, I'm all for Cinderella-esque stories, but let's look at it reasonably. Nomi becomes the big hit in Vegas, the star of the show. And she fucking walks! At the end, she runs away from Las Vegas, heading towards LA.

What a friend she was too. Her room mate, and seemingly best friend, gets raped and hospitalized. It's not like she'd need help recouping from that traumatic experience, is it? Certainly not, and Nomi proves that by running off...

Actually, she was running back to Bayside High...LOL.

Only good things about this movie:

The fact that for years, when sex was kind of a 'hehehe' type thing for kids and before it dawned on me that pornography served a very useful purpose for boys in adolesence, the only good thing was seeing the chick from Saved By the Bell nude.

Other than that, nothing.

But, since Showgirls was the obvious choice, I'll take one that I found just stupid.

"Ready 2 Rumble"

Let's make a movie that totally destroys any crediblity the wrestlers in it have.

Now, I didn't watch WCW until right after they did the Australlian tour in 2000, but I do have some common sense, which would lead me to ask, why were the WCW superstars being used as fodder????

Examples:

DDP's "Goons", and Tony Schiavone put it, includes Sycho Sid....

WHY THE HELL WAS SID A "GOON"?!!!! How does a man as big as Sid, get his ass kicked by a little old man? (Well, Sid did break a chair over him, but crying like a pussy in Sinclairs office?)

Where were the other WCW stars?

Where was Hogan? Where was Nash? Where was Jarrett? Where was Steiner?

No crediblity at all.

The only WCW star that actually seemed to act, was DDP. Goldberg's performance was sorry, and Sting only had one line.

Now, onto the plot....

Two guys sadly obsessed with the worse WCW worker since Hulk Hogan go to a Monday Nitro. The main event: WCW Champ Jimmy King vs DDP for the title. Now, these two losers aren't that dumb...they know that title changes can't happen on Nitro, right? WRONG.

In an event that can only by overshadowed by the Montreal Screwjob, the evil WCW boss Sinclair orders a "Shoot", by having the entire WCW roster take out their revenge on the hapless Jimmy King.

Devastated at the loss of their hero, they vow to get him back to the WCW top. Along the way, they meet Jimmy King's trailer-park "queen", and his son, who hates his guts.

The end comes with a triple cage match, and DDP being thrown off the top of it with King becoming the WCW champion again.....

Also included with this feature: David Arquette's obsession with the Nitro girls, his struggle with a father that wants him to be a Highway Patrol Officer, and Scott Caan's nude ass.

Did I mention to promote the movie, WCW gave the World title to David Arquette?

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I think everyone knows about Arquettes reign, but Ready 2 Rumble was actually a pretty good movie. Now you ask about Credibility? Most of the people who watch the movie won't have any idea who Sid Vicious is among others. It's a fictional storyline, so they have a fictional Main Character (The Wrestler) who is like a cross between Hulk Hogan (In Popularity) and Jerry Lawler (In Gimmick)

A reason why a Nash and such aren't in it? MONEY! You KNOW that Hogan and Nash are going to try and get as much money as possible

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From Justin 2 Kelly was probably the worst made movie I've ever seen, at least when you take into account budget and the such. However, it was infinitely more fun than In the Cut. In the Cut was no where near the worst made movie I've ever seen, but I've never been in as much hell watching as during that piece of shit. So somewhere in between those two films. Gigli was no where near the worst movie of all time. It wasn't even the worst movie of 2003, or the worst movie of August 2003. But when it rains it pours, critically speaking. You know what? Take everything I said about From Justin 2 Kelly and In the Cut back. Wing Commander was the worst movie of all time.

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Guest UmpireAJS

That movie with Hogan as Santa

ALL HOGAN'S MOVIES except Rocky III

Battefield Earth-Horrible in every way

MK:Anhillation-Totally butchered the storylines

I've not seen Showgirls or From Justin 2 Kelly so I can't comment of them.

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Another blunder:

Warriors of Virtue

I saw this a few weeks after it came out.

The movie is about a kid with a broken leg, that learns about the 5 Chinese Elements: Wind, Fire, Something, Flowers, and Water (Earth wasn't among them, that's why I said "Something")....

He somehow gets transported into this world that is full of combination Kung-Fu/Kendo style fighting, and the good guys are these giant rabbits that, incediently, represent the 5 elements (With Water being the head element).

Movie with Hogan as Santa:

Santa With Muscles

Yes, it was shit.

There is still one Hogan movie that I think is his absolute best role, and that's Suburban Commando.

Why?

Because unlike some of his other work that was written FOR him, (ahem No Holds Barred, Mr. Nanny), Suburban Commando was written after the movie "Twins" with Ah-nold and Danny Devito, and the charcaters of Hogan and Christopher Lloyd were going to be played by Ah-Nold and Danny, respectively.

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The Brown Bunny. In case if you don't know what The Brown Bunny is, it was a movie directed by Vincent Gallo and its premise is basically a guy who races cars. Absolutely horrible movie.

It was either that or Gigli, but I think I would've had my ass e-kicked for saying I WATCHED it.

I liked Gigli...I went in expecting the worst movie ever, and came out thinking it was much better than that.

Worst Movie I've Ever Seen (personal opinion): 8 Mile.

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Guest Vince Russo

That Thing You Do. Not necessarily the worst movie of all time, but definitely the most boring film of all time. I stopped watching almost half way through it, because it was so mind numbingly excruciatingly dull beyond belief.

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The South Park Movie. UTTER SHITE.

Gotta agree there. My friends were going on about how funny this thing was, and I didn't laugh once. It's just not funny in the slightest!

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The Neon Genesis Evangelion 'Death and Rebirth' movie. They call it a movie - it was released in cinemas - but it really isn't. The first half is a clip show of the television series, and the second half is the first 26 minutes of what would be the REAL movie ('End of Evangelion'). So it gets 26 minutes in, the Special Forces units are just starting to invade NERV HQ, and then...zip. The End. It's bullshit.

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C'mon the South Park movie is awesome.

- Did someone say my name?

- Who the hell are you?

- I'm Brian Denehee.

.........

Good times...

I'd say:

The Wishmaster films - especially III.

The Leprachaun movies.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Sequels.

Actually, those movies are fucking hilarious. I'd choose some of those shitty teen love stories, I watched 'Never Been Kissed' last night and David Arquette is the only saving grace.

Kenneth Branagh's 'Hamlet' is pretty bad - he even gets carried off like Christ at the end. Arrogant fucker.

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