Funny Chants

[Jam]

This is off the back of the discussion I saw about Spurs/Pompey chanting and wondered the funniest people have heard. I know Liverpool and Scum usually have quite a few good ones. Best ones I heard were when we played at Peterborough

Fergie's a cunt

His Dad's a twat

Fergie's a cunt

He beats his wife

She said no Fergie, she said no. She said no Fergie, she said no. She said no Fergie, she should no, oh Fergie she said no

Same game they were doing testing for Chlomidia:

We've got McAllister, you've got clomidia

You don't know what you're doing - During marriage purposals

Also for Enoch Showumni (tune of the Torres song):

Enoch has got a massive cock, Enoch, Enoch

He has to tuck it in his sock, Enoch, Enoch

He shagged a girl and now she's dead

He likes to wave it round his head

Enoch Showumni United's 21

For non Leeds chanting though, http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=amksgKR3-UI is genius

And ten German Bombers is my favorite England song

[therockbox]

THERE'S ONLY TWO ANDY GORAMS

Nothing tops it.

[Matt]

Leeds related, but not from Leeds. Harpal Singh, remember him? Came off the bench for Leeds like twice in the Premiership Anyway, he signed for Bohemians (an Irish team) a couple of years back, and one of their chants is:

"Singh when we're winning, we bring on Singh when we're winning"

Some Leeds ones that I can remember:

"Small town in Scotland" @ Swansea.

"One Phillip Neville, there's only one Phillip Neville" @ a cunt of a steward that was the spitting image.

"Where've your prozzies gone?" @ Ipswich

Sure there's more from years gone by but I don't remember them right now.

And one I found particularly amusing, Spurs to Sol Campbell last year.

"Sol, Sol, wherever you may be, you're on the verge on lunacy. And we don't give a fuck if you're hanging from a tree, you're a Judas cunt with HIV.

[METALMAN]

Usually Kilmarnock fans just make fun of the stewards. I was at this game at Fir Park against Gretna last season and it was hilarious.

[Blue Rosler]

The Automatic's Monster: WHATS THAT COMING OVER THE HILL? PASCAL CHIMBONDA

When the ball hits your head, and you're sat in Row Z

It's Zamora

[ZJ Penn]

HE'S BALD

HE'S SHIT

HE PLAYS WHEN NO-ONES FIT

PASCAL CYGAN, PASCAL CYGAN

Obviously it's dated now but I remember hearing it ages ago and it's always stuck in my head. And I don't even support Arsenal.

[Thrilla]

Park, Park, wherever you may be,

They eat dogs in your country,

It could worse, you could be Scouse,

Eating rats in your council house.

[Crybaby Bunting]

Any Leeds chants of the past season or so referencing the words "cup" and "final"

[Guest ToffeeFan2k8]

When the redshite were playing Barca, to Ronaldinho.

"Cilla wants her teeth back, nana na na...."

[YI]

The Mido variant of the good ol' "Keano wanks his dog" chant;

"Mido, he's got a bomb Mido, he's got a bomb Mido..."

Multiple FA investigations, get in!!

And bwahaha, the Singh one and the Ipswich one are epic.

Edited January 15, 2009 by YI

[Turbo Yannis]

TOP O THE LEAGUE AND YOU'RE NO!

Sung to the Rangers fans on Tuesday. Who gives a fuck if we're in the division below...

[METALMAN]

TOP O THE LEAGUE AND YOU'RE NO!

Sung to the Rangers fans on Tuesday. Who gives a fuck if we're in the division below...

haha. That's my favourite.

[TheArsenal]

I might be flamed, or considered "not cool" for this, but this:

And one I found particularly amusing, Spurs to Sol Campbell last year.

"Sol, Sol, wherever you may be, you're on the verge on lunacy. And we don't give a fuck if you're hanging from a tree, you're a Judas cunt with HIV.

is not funny.

[mikevandam]

I belive Newcastle did this one:

“Fat Eddie Murphy,

You're just a fat Eddie Murphy”

At Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink

I dont belive i've heard this one though:

(Craig Davids ‘Rewind’)

“Van Per-sie,

If a girl says no,

Molest Her!”

>_<

Edited January 16, 2009 by mikevandam

[ChrisSteeleAteMyHamster]

Arsenal Arsenal,

Wash your face and wash your hands,

And wash yer arse 'n all.

I remember They Think It's All Over showing a chant allegendly from Berwick which went something like:

"I wanna be a Berwick Ranger,

Only live for sex and danger"

Quite liked that one.

[Adam]

Yeah that was it, I think there's more lines to it, it's on one of the TTIAO videos Ive got somewhere.

[AJ]

Not exactly the height of wit, but I always find this one amusing: http://www.fanchants.com/football-videos/m...er-than-this-7/

I've heard it sung at Darlo away games. I know we shouldn't harp on about our nice stadium, but it's all we've got

[Matt]

Not exactly the height of wit, but I always find this one amusing: http://www.fanchants.com/football-videos/m...er-than-this-7/

I've heard it sung at Darlo away games. I know we shouldn't harp on about our nice stadium, but it's all we've got

Similar to this, Leeds fans sang "Your ground's from B&Q" at Macclesfield(?) last season in the Carling Cup.

[Cactus Drags]

I might be flamed, or considered "not cool" for this, but this:

And one I found particularly amusing, Spurs to Sol Campbell last year.

"Sol, Sol, wherever you may be, you're on the verge on lunacy. And we don't give a fuck if you're hanging from a tree, you're a Judas cunt with HIV.

is not funny.

Agreed. Football chants, nine times out of ten, are shit. I know American sports aren't great for chants and that, but at least they're not vulgar, crude, unimaginative and occasionally racist.

[Lowerdeck]

Americans are not creative enough to pull off mass chanting. Whatever there is, it's fairly simple. "Beat L.A." or "Yankees suck" or "Boston sucks"