Paradox games but definitely NOT GAMES OF THRONE

[lanky316]

11 hours ago, The Handsome Luchadore said:

So keep a save on hand where I try things ethically? I'm in.

Closest I had to an awkward moment was while filing through tabs waiting for SOMETHING to happen (769 Wessex was the game, love that primo succession that early on) and had a plot open to assassinate someone. Didn't catch on, really only watched long enough to ask me why I had my daughter ingame get married at 16.

Easy enough answer for that one though. Certainly not the worst thing that could have come up in conversation!

[Schlitzbrille]

On 1/16/2017 at 11:59, Jasonmufc said:

Also, I had an entertaining assassination message.

Turns out being on the receiving end of it is almost as amusing.

[Meacon Keaton]

On 5/2/2017 at 12:22, The Handsome Luchadore said:

Turns out being on the receiving end of it is almost as amusing.

 

[Schlitzbrille]

Take a wild guess where my latest game is.

(Not that it's a bad start, gonna essentially hand my heir an empire in that all he'll have to do is create the title)

[Mick]

50 minutes ago, The Handsome Luchadore said:

Take a wild guess where my latest game is.

(Not that it's a bad start, gonna essentially hand my heir an empire in that all he'll have to do is create the title)

Westeros?

[Gazz]

Real men start in Braavos.

[Mick]

7 minutes ago, Gazz said:

Real men start in Braavos.

 

Nah, Astapor, ACOK  

[Schlitzbrille]

My son Miesko is a fucking dunce. He became King of Hungary at 6 after his mom died of camp fever, would NOT accept my alliance offer, lost throne to a rival claimant. Luckily his sister also had a claim, so I pressed it and won. I had two choices: either marry his future son to her eldest daughter or make said daughters disappear and wait until her cancer does its thing.

 

Which one did I pick?

[Gazz]

1 hour ago, Mick said:

 

Nah, Astapor, ACOK  

Don't you call me a cock.

[Mick]

Diary Idea: 

 

Aegon! Cultural Learnings of Westeros for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Dragonstone

[Mick]

Mod idea: Change the genders around for every character, make Ruse 63 Game of Thrones.

 

Actually, that wouldn't work...unless it's possible for women to be eunuchs 

[SeanDMan]

19 minutes ago, Mick said:

Mod idea: Change the genders around for every character, make Ruse 63 Game of Thrones.

 

Actually, that wouldn't work...unless it's possible for women to be eunuchs 

I mean the practical effect of being a eunuch is a huge nerf to fertility, and it's possible to nerf women's fertility IRL so.

[Mick]

 

I like Aerys. What he lacks in sense he makes up for with guts.  

 

[Bobfoc]

Why is Prince Doran on Aerys' side? Is this before Rhaegar's marriage to Elia?

[Mick]

Cause I forgot to buy a favor from him  

[Schlitzbrille]

Started a game as the Petty King of Wessex in 769. Did great and managed to acquire the Duchy of Kent within a decade thanks to a great series of RNGs with my chancellor and claim fabricating.

 

Then I go throw away all of it by forgetting that Petty King=Duke. Go me.

[Gazz]

That's going on the mantlepiece...

[Mick]

Pretty sure there might be some finger nail clippings around....

I had a hell of a game as Robert. 

 

Started at the Crowned Stag bookmark. Robert gets his act together, gives up drinking and being a glutton. Manages to have about 5 kids, all his, with Cersei. 

 

Also has about 15 with various other women. More on that later. 

 

Both Ned and Benjen die due to failures in a Trial by Combat, so I invite Cat to court to 'comfort' her. She later dies mysteriously, though I figure it's by Cersei's doing. She brought Jon Snow with her, whom I give to Barristan to raise. Jon later joins the Kingsguard. 

Over the course of the game, I proceed to plow through Melisdandre, some whore from Lorath, *ALL* of Oberyn's kids, two septas, my cousin, Stannis's wife (Who was not Selsye), Asha Greyjoy (second wife after Cersei was taken care of), the Lady Paramount of the Vale, Renly's Wife, Margaery, etc. 

I find out that Jonos Slynt is trying to kill Varys. I never liked Jonos, so I revoke the Gold Cloaks from him and sleep with his wife. He demands satisfaction and challenges me to a duel. And that's why there's no more Jonos Slynt. 

Tywin is a bro through and through. Somehow Tyrion becomes a kinslayer and takes the black. I find out that Jamie and Kevan have various plots. Tywin judges both of them, and finds them guilty. Off to the wall with them. 

The Lannisters at the wall still have their uses, with Kevan becoming then 997th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. Jamie raises a couple of kids as does Kevan. 

I then start thinking of my Kingsguard and it's future. So, I give Barristan another ward - Brienne. She becomes a bad ass, and in spite of having the Ugly trait, I knight her and bed her. The resulting bastard is tall and strong. I name him "Duncan", since it seems appropriate, and raise him. Eventually Brienne is put on the Kingsguard, taking over for Barristan once he dies. 

Stannis kept trying to invade some county, and he ends up losing his life for it when he does it one too many times. 

Aegon invaded. "Lol, no". Gets crushed. 

Asha gets the clap and I divorce her ass, marrying Tyene Sand ("Bad pussy"). Robert's final days are spent plowing my kid's wives, including Dany (whom I married to Steffon, my first born and heir. We're closing all claims). Robert finally dies in some trial by combat by some mook. 

 

[Schlitzbrille]

Current game as the Petty King of Wessex, 769 start. Currently working my way up to becoming King of England with the end goal of becoming Emperor of Britannia. I should be able to get most of England's de jure territory under my control within my current guy's lifetime/

[Mick]

Pfft, you're just a petty king  .