Gazz

Both Arsenal and Villa did the Yellow Pages trick and rebranded as 'AAAAAAAA Arsenal' and 'AAAAA1 Aston Villa Roofing'.

After my retirement in February, I'm available.

Christ, they've absolutely butchered that spelling of 'Nick Pope'.

Bold to assume it's going to be his last one.

Doubt it, they've always been wank.

Pfft, I've done that loads of times since 1992.

This has got 1-0 Inter written all over it. That, or 7-0 Man City.

Did any January signing make even the slightest impact this season?

The entrance to Luton's Executive Suites

Be amazed if he plays again, he's got knees that make Ledley King look like an Olympic Triple Jumper.

It's not as dumb as 'Dahmer : Monster - The Jeffrey Dahmer Story : He's a Monster - Dahmer - Monster'.

Dave Bassett: managed Wimbledon from the Fourth to the First division and German Eurovision juror. What a career.

Our sheets used to be five star boutique hotel clean, now they're teenage boy's bedroom clean.

Considering they'd have about 9 goals and 4 points this season without him, I'd suggest 'no'.

He was an improvement as well.

Today marks 30 years for me as a Newcastle fan. I'd take another 7-1 win against Leicester in a couple of weeks.

Pretty sure there's a room at my local National Trust stately home that is decorated identically to that shirt.

Chelsea are an interesting thought exercise in how many of their first team squad they're going to have to get rid of, and how many of those are going to have to be massive money-losing write offs. A glance at Wiki tells me that come 1st July, they will have 41 first team players on their books, assuming Felix and Zakaria aren't signed or and no loans either way are extended. Keep Borderline Sell Loan? Badiashile Kepa Aubameyang Slonina Enzo Kovacic Pulisic Hutchinson Silva RLC Bettinelli Hall Kante Mount Mendy Chalobah Gallagher Sterling Mudryk Azpi Ziyech Broja Havertz Koulibaly Chilwell Cucurella Rahman James Ampadu Sarr DD Fofana Maatsen Bakayoko Chukuwuemeka CHO Lukaku Madueke W Fofana Colwill Gusto Santos

Holidays? Some of them look like they're uncontacted Amazonian tribesmen with no concept of Football.

100 gallons of Bisto per match.

Don't forget he's a published author.

Look on the bright side Matt, at least Thatcher is still dead.

I reckon you could ask this cowboy...

Just makes me nostalgic for the 95/96 Merlin stickerbook shiny stickers.

Mrs Gazz got Elton John tickets for her birthday from her sister. Front row. NINE HUNDRED BRITISH POUNDS! Each.